Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.

*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......

*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*

Well, okay then.

yea, basically me learning right now.

Me: Alright, let's code!

School: Psst. Hey.

Me: What?

School: Remember that assignment from last week?

Me: Oh god please no.

School: Yeah, it's tomorrow. And you have a Geography exam next Monday. You love geography, right?

Me: Please, no, I want to become a programmer, not a--

School: Shush... It's okay. Programming can wait. You want a to get a job, right? What would they say when they see your poor Geography?

Me: That doesn't even... Okay, fine, I'll do it...

* two days later *

Me: Fuck me! Finally! Let's do some coding now.

School: Psst. Hey.

Me right now.🤔🤔

Me: *staring at computer screen, not looking busy*

Boss: Why are you not working?

Me: I am, I'm just waiting for this thing to finish installing.

Boss: You do realize you can still do other stuff while that's running, right?

Me: Didn't you send me an article last week about the dangers of multitasking?

Boss: um...

Me: *now intently staring at progress bar..."

Boss: fuck sakes... *walks away*

Him: Linux is shit

Me: why?

Him: You can't run exe files

Me: ... I am wining right now

Girlfriend: "My computer is so slow!"

Me: "Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

Girlfriend: "That's not funny, I actually need help."

Me: "Okay babe, I know you think I'm being an ass right now or tying to be funny, but honest to god half of what pays rent here and buys you so many flowers is me telling people to turn something of and then on again. Just try it."

Girlfriend: *Restarts computer*... "You were right..."

BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.

Me: *receives SMS from ex girlfriend*
GF: "I'm horny, whatcha doing now?"
Me: "Not much, just working on the update system to this tool which will be used with mod. Can't talk right now"

This was the fastest "murdering of the mood" I ever done.

Boss: Can we add a [Close] button at the top right of the modal instead for all the items, the back at the lower left seems out of place.

Me: What modal? You mean move the back button to the top right of the page?

Boss: And make it say [Close]

Me: But it navigates Back. It's not a modal so it doesn't close. [Back] makes more sense than [Close].

Boss: Ok
...
Boss: Change the [Back] on the modal to [Close].

Me: But... fine...

Buttons all now say "Close", they all have double quotes. No one has said anything.

Worst meeting ever? The one I am in right now. I am trying to post this rant but a guy keeps asking me questions ...

Windows: I need to update
Me: Fuck off I'm doing an assignment
Windows: Nah mate I need to update like right fucking now
Me: For fucks sake, go on then, but if you take longer than 30mins I'll delete you again
Windows: *Updating 25% done*
Windows: *Reboots*
*Grub rescue screen*
Me: Hello?
Windows: ...
Me: ...
Me: You fucking cunt

Just had a feedback session.

Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.

The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.

Relatable right?

At job interview.

Interviewer: What are your goals in life?

Me: Well... Right now... Getting 1000 upvotes in devRant so I can get that fat cat on my avatar....

Wife asked if she could see my Python so I pulled it right out.

She yells, "That's not what I meant and you know it! Show me your code!"

Now apparently I'm in trouble 😂

Boss: Come to my office right now! Its urgent
Me: *goes to his office*
Boss: Please install chrome for me
Me: *hands in resignation letter*

Literally my inbox me right now (in comments)

"alright, let's go to sleep"
*pulls out extension cord from monitors as I do every night*
*hears server buzzing disappearing*

😓

I entirely forgot that I connected my server which is running heavy and lengthy tasks, to that one, as well.

😧😥😬😰

Psychiatrist: How would you describe your life right now?
Me: Have you ever wrote JavaScript?

Me right now

(me, growing the beard of a wizzard right now): well .... yeah ...

Client: I want this type of app and website.

Me: Ok, I i'll do that, let's discuss the whole functionalities and flows.

Client: No, not right now, you just start developing, we will discuss functionalities and flows later.

😲 😂

Friend: Why don't you just quit your job?
Me: I want to, I just can't right now, it would cause too many issues.
Friend: oh really? Will it affect your health insurance or pension?
Me: No my office is the shipping address for my new iPhone. Haven't got it yet.
Friend: Oh ffs .... seriously?

I'm having double feelings right now.

On my way to a best friends birthday party, really in for that!

Just bought a (for me) big dedicated server and can't wait to install it/play around with it!

😖😅

THERE IS A FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "React.component" and "React.Component"! Took me fucking 2 hours to figure this fucking thing out. Until then I was certain that this was some dependency issue. Oh the rage right now!! 🔫🔪💣💣😡

Me right now 😴

!rant

Me right now 😀

First project released on GitHub today and already got a star!

Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.

Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:

- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.

I wanted to copy some backup data over again:

1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.

2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.

3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.

4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.

5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.

This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.

FUCK.

Boss: I was looking over our expenses and was wondering why you are ordering a new piece of equipment?
Me: (I stand up & address my fellow code-drones) Can everybody save everything right now please. Good? Now newGuy commit your changes.
(Audible typing followed by the entire room groaning.)
Me: He just deleted everything...again and I am running out of backup storage.
Boss: ........So you want 1 of those things or 2?

Me right now.

Always wanted to build a URL shortener. Guess what I'm building right now :D (next to working on a blog article)

Somehow this is making me very happy 😊

Forgive me, for I have sinned 😥

But vsCode can’t do what I need it to do right now

Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5

*2 weeks later*

Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!

*2 weeks later*

Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...

*put product online*

*2 days later*

Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...

Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...

Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!

NOBODY ++ ME EVER AGAIN. My ++s are at 255 right now and I'd hate to overflow.

Reviewer: your pr has unit tests
Me: yes
Reviewer: well, we never had unit tests, this is kind of an issue, not sure how to handle this right now

return "LOL"

Me: why do people hate javascript?
Also Me after 5 mins of js coding :
Oh right now i remember why

I've always drunk very less water compared to others. So I decided to install this app that'll remind me to drink water every now and then. Since, healthy body, healthy mind.

Was going through comments when I found this.
Well, I mean he's right in a sense, you know.

Client: can we have a quick call right now?
Me: sure, hold on while I install VirtualBox, Windows 10 and Skype for Business

On the train's public WiFi while traveling and want to use a VPN connection to one of my own VPN servers.

I'm now just realizing that the openvpn port is probably not an allowed one on this network and I set the port to the default openvpn one 😥

Fuck me sideways right now.

Me: hey I have a major issue I need to discuss. Would you be free tomorrow at any of these times: A, B or C?

Him: Yes

Me: ... ... ... ok I’ve a new issue I need to discuss with you right now!

I don't havey Friends , but the ones I have know me inside out.

I turned 18 yesterday , and what did I get for a gift , a literal 5 page C++ Program that my pals lovingly wrote for me. Compiling it right now. Let's see what it's got for me.

So I was applying for a research position in linguistic department, and had the interview today.
Prof: So you know excel right

Me: (show a project to him to prove I at least know csv file)
Prof: Ok so you know excel.

Me: Yeah kinda.

Prof: Ok that's good. Cuz right now we are using amazon Turk, and the data they returned, which are excel files, are not really the way we want it.

Me: Ok sounds like a parser can fix it......

Prof: Yeah.... the students in the lab are doing it manually now

(Dead silence)

Prof: Ok move onto next matter

me with react right now :

Me, doing ui design: 'hm, i feel like jumping into machine learning right now'

Me, writing a ml chatbot: 'but what if i extend flutter with my old custom android components'

Me, porting java components to dart: 'hold on, p5js has vectors, i could make a physical simulation'

Me to me: 'why are you like this'

Asked junior to clone a git repo

junior: tried everything it doesn't work

me: show me how you did it

junior: right clicked on the repository, 'Copy link address' then paste it into the terminal

me: put that mouse down right now!

Can my vps provider already email me my new vps details?

It's only been 5 minutes, yes but I'm IMPATIENT.

I want to set it up right now 😊

Beware: this is me expressing how I feel about my programming/my skillset, and so on. It might be imposter syndrome but I am having a fucking bad episode right now and I just need to get this the fuck out.

I work at a distribution center right now. Can I provide for myself? Yes. Do I even slightly like my work? No I fucking hate it to the point. I hate going there every day, doing shit I don't like, not being able to focus on the shit I love but that's it for me for now.

In my free time I still am able to program a little but then the (I will call it imposter syndrome for now as I have no clue how to call it) imposter syndrome comes looking around the FUCKING corner.

*What the fuck are you doing? For real man, someone else could do that like way fucking better*

*Wow man your code..... there are so many people who would write that a million times better*

*You have re-written this for 10 times now. But seriously, this still sucks fucking balls*.

Fucking hell. Yes, at programming level I am still a junior, I fucking know that. But it fucking sucks feeling like anyone but you would do the shit you're making better anyways.

How fucking down can you get yourself. How bad can you make yourself feel through just a few fucking words/thoughts.

The only thing I am happy about right now is the fact that a very good friend is able to keep me at least slightly sane right now.

Me right now...

About everyone around me right now: OH MY GOD WHATSAPP HAS A DISRUPTION!!!!!!

Me: ahh, finally some good news today 😊

Should I be afraid right now?

Dev: can I swap out an existing UI framework from this codebase for a completely different one, because it doesn't do the small enhancement I've been tasked to do?

Me: ...............

please lord, give me strength in these pressing times.

Me right now.

So I got terminal Linux in school right now. People said that it's so hard, but guess what? Surprisingly it's even easier for me than Windows CMD!

6:30pm: "You programmers have no life at all. Spending the whole day infront of a computer! "
6:31pm: "Hey could you please loan me some money, I am so broke right now"
*Me singing in my head*: 🎵🎵Young, dumb and broke

Me at work right now.

*In TeamSpeak with 4 of my friends*

Them: Hey, why don't you join our GTA Session?

Me: Ehh uhm...(Not answering)

Them: Hello?

Me: No, I can't right now. I'll join later.

*A few hours later*

Them: Are you joining??

Me: No, later.

Them: Right, so never then?

Me: 🙃

I never played GTA today, instead I continued to work on my C/Gtk+ application. Way better than any game 😁

Also, my friends think I'm boring, and I don't understand why... 😂

me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month

also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea

FUUUUCK!!! I just saw a dead pixel in my retina display

The fact that it is retina tells me that it isn't just one pixel.

I fucking hate my life right now

Alright lets work on the security/privacy blog again.

Things I've got in the making right now: dark theme by default, font change and an rss feed!

Let me know what you'd like to see :)

I'll also reveal a new domain name soon!

Me right now trying to figure out WordPress. I'm a total noob

!rant

Some of my friends and me stayed the night in a small house. Everyone except me drank beer and now they are all sleeping while I am sitting right next to the socket in a corner listening to music and reading through the documentation of java.

This describes my life pretty well.

Ma aunt sent me this right now. Look at how it's written. Sounds like all the crap movies compiled into a pile of shit.

The amount of "echo {number};" thingies I have in my code right now is too damn high, please don't kill me 😅

Do you know what's happening in Delhi right now? Probably the smallest devRant meet.

It's just me and ceee, chilling over chai!

Never used Linux before. At least not enough to say I've worked on it. But these discussions in here, they've pushed me. I'll do it now. I'll try Fedora. Right now! And never come back...till it's ABSOLUTELY needed.

"Today my girlfriend gifted me new words"
"hurrah, new things to learn"
"Now I'm waiting for the next new words, I hope they will be as exciting as the last ones"

You couldn't be more right.

Ich liebe dich so sehr~ <3

Me right now

Me right now.

Well it's either me, myself or I who fucked something up or someone over at Facebook are having a really bad time right now...

I'm so weary of JS right now but every time i want to code something in another language i just think:
"Why don't i just do this in JS. Would be much easier."

Please help me.

I just wanted to say that wk61 came just at the right point in time ^^

My school threw me out a couple of days ago and now I have nothing, so I'm thankful for all of you who're giving advice for job hunting

You guys are awesome! :)

My grandfather the other day over the phone: "so, hows work?"
Me: "a bit stressful right now, Im realy tired at the end of the day when I get home, but its alright".
Him: "okay, so when are you going to get a real job?".

Interview question:

"What are your three most favorite design patterns?"

Me: "Huh? They're tools in a toolbox. If I want to drive in nails I use a hammer or a nail gun. Do I need to cuddle with them? I don't pick favorites and I don't try to solve everything with just a bunch of patterns. And I've work with a bunch, right now I'm drawing a blank though as this question highly confuses me and would like to do a Google search listing a few names as the only one that's comming to my mind right now are the factory and builder pattern. And no, not necessarily favorites."

Friend : I will do this when I get back from work.
Me : But you are working from home, aren't you?
Friend : Yes, but I am at work, right now.
Me: And how does your route back home look like?
Friend : I switch input source from my work's laptop to gaming rig.

That moment when your supervisor gets back to you so fucking late that you consider dropping out literally days before finishing your degree.

Lol. Kill me right now please.

i am a procrastinating asshole. woke up at 7am to do some work, and still, 5 hours later - nothing! i am so pissed of at myself right now. i just want to jump out of my skin and not be me anymore. fuck.

setup my new private project with react, to dive deeper into react.
brain: hey, how about to read a little bit about vue vs. react vs. angular?
me: ok?
me: *reading some articles about the topic*
brain: hey, how about to play around with vue a little bit?
me: ok.

and this is me right now:

Guys guys guys. Conversation had right just now. A PM from the company I’m freelancing for just said

“We need to move away from SQL server and shift all the data to MongoDB. I don’t want it to take more than a month tops”

Verbatim. No context. Nothing. The website is for a small time supply chain software that’s been chugging along for a decade now with spaghetti code everywhere.

How do I even respond? The other guy who works with me sent 😂😂😂 to me privately and now is offline lol wtf

PO: "I'll email you the details."
Me: Sure, I'll start with what I have right now.

I start coding, 7 hours later I got something working, not sure if it's what he wants.

Still no email.

I might have a followup rant tomorrow when he tells me it's not what he wanted at all.

-Hey highonsleep you a webdesigner, right?
Me: no, frontend dev.
-Yeah right my dad needs a new logo for his firm, can you do it? We can't pay right now but we'll give you lots of paid design work in the future and it'd be good for your portfolio.
Me: whatthefuckingfuckLOL. *Unfriend/block/delete/remove*

I still don't understand the effect devRant has had on me...

When I first joined I was quite happy just being my old 2D game developer self but now all I want to do is build CLI tools, interpreters, root through source code I don't understand and not shut up about arch... Not sure of I'm down the right track or not now

!rant

Just had my coworker to notice me, that there is a fire alarm right now.

Man I must say, good Job Sennheiser on Their NC headphones!

‪Me: Should be able to refactor this viewModel in a couple of hours.‬
‪Me 7 hours: Ye fuck these 28 other build errors right now.‬

When you have a "GREAT" idea, start to work on it and after 2 hours you have forgot why you have started the project.

Me right now 😖

Sorry for my bad english 😓

Me: *spends 5 hours screwing around with recursion and performing operations in reverse order*
Unit tests: *pass*
Me: Wow. Okay, that’s interesting.
*run tests again*
Me: Right, well, that’s just dandy. Now, how did I get here and how do I document this...

TL;DR I spent 5 hours fucking about and accidentally came up with a working solution that I can’t explain

EDIT: RIP wrong category

Dad walks up to me and says

"im reading the news right now and bill gates wants to buy tiktok for 50 BILLION DOLLARS. Why cant you make some app like that??? Cmon why are you so useless"

My life is just a series of disappointments right now from the people around me. Both personally and professionally. Glad I get to spend most of the time staring at a computer. Lifeless, yet the only rational elements in my life!

No Google, this isn't useful to me right now.... Or ever.

A neural network backed video search engine which would let me look up porn with the pornstar from the video that i'm watching right now :D

-Problem
-searching everywhere
-complicated algorithms
-almost there ...

My little sister: hey! Can you install this game on my tablet?
Me: no! I'm busy right now
Sister: mom!!...
Me: okay! okay!
<installation process >

...
What was I doing?...

That's how everything gets ruined :/

My Unreal project right now:
FVector
std::vector
Eigen::Vector
KDL::Vector
....
*sigh*
And people ask me why I like Lisp. A Vector is a Vector goddamit! Half my project is now just parsing the same variable to the different functions. sigh....I hate this.

Me: Can I talk to you for a sec?
Boss: Sorry, can we do that later? I'm busy right now.
Me: Sure.

And later never comes 😑

Google: the newest android pie is based on user feedback.
The system clock: *is now on the left*
Me: WHO THE FUCK ASKED FOR THIS SHIT? WHY CAN'T I MOVE IT BACK TO THE RIGHT SIDE?

Recruiter: Hi! I'm a recruiter, and you have a position similar to jobs I'm trying to fill. What are you doing at your current company right now?

Me: Uhm. Working?

Recruiter: Oh! What would make a good candidate for positions like yours?

Me: Uhm. A dedicated employee?

Hiring for my startup right now and this guy decided he's better than what we can provide.
Guy has maybe 6 or 7 years of college, "walked away from" a doctorate, whatever that means, and what looks like 2.5 years at a previous startup, 1 month as a freelancer on web development. But look out! He's beyond startups now.

Blocked me too... 😂

Ah.. the beauty of clean code.

I wrote a very cleanly written program two years ago. Proper variable names, not too many, right naming, right design pattern,.. Now I come back to it and I am able to instantly figure out the code again. It only took me half a minute.

The importance of clean code... that's something the industry needs to understand more. Well, then there's the money issue. lol

me, learning java right now...

Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU

Going to my very first job interview right now. Wish me luck guys! 💪

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now dad
Dad: Not asking for a Software Engineer are they?
Me:Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go see if "Deploying code to production" helps.

Yesterday , I was traveling through the bus . I was reading the documentation of jquery . Suddenly a guy siiting next to my seat said "Are you a Hacker ?" I was in shock . He said " Could u plzz hack something for me right now ?" LOL

Friends cause more problems than they solve. At least for me.

I'm currently not feeling well at all right now, anxiety and depression. I've never really experienced this before and let me tell you, if you're a person with problems like this regularly, I'm so sorry.

New job requires a lot of CLI and I have to start using Vim. Me right now when trying to exit:

Company I work for issues Macs to everyone, and it's a software company. I'm not a MacOS fan. Tried for 3 months, still irritates me. Now I have Windows 10 on my MacBook Pro, and the world is right again. You can't imagine the flack I get!!!!

our tester arguing with software house about blocker severity bug

SH: "No, this bug is not possible. It's possible only when you are logged as admin in other tab"

T: "I managed to replicate it in another browser in private mode"

SH: "But you can't replicate the bug now"

T: "True that I don't know steps to replicate it and it occurs just sometimes... Let me check right now"

...

T: "Okay, I managed to replicate it right now in private mode in other browser on normal user account"

SH: "Because you are admin"

They are pretending to be idiots or just are?

Classic support ticket:

Me: "Uh... those numbers in your screenshot look right"

Customer: "Well it wasn't yesterday, looks like it is fixed now"

Me: "...."

-closes ticket-

Freelance:

Me: I'm done with the major bugs. Can I do the minor bugs tomorrow?
PM: can you hang on just a moment? Can you pls remove the ...
Me: I'll try. I'm experiencing brain dysfunction right now.
PM: Oh? Hahaha! Just a minor tweak tho. Teeheehee.
Me: (fudge)

Me: So... do you want a website, right?
Client: Yes!
Me: ...but you don't know how it should look, right?
Client: Ehm... correct.
Me: ...and you don't even know what color should I use?
Client: Exactly!
Me: ...and of course you can't link me a website you like which I can base on.
So now I have to invent something randomly that somehow will be the exact same thing you would like to see. Nice.

That's the reason why I'm still using Windows 10 Insiders builds...when you get into GSoD, you can shoot nice photo where you actually are. For me right now, that's the cafe in the shopping center.

PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.

So me right now

Haven't slept a single bit since last night. It's 7 in the morning now but the deadline is 10:40.

Wish me luck. Super tired right now...

Github is having issues right now. I'm remembering fond memories of having a local gitlab server...

My heart is telling me yes, but experience is telling me I wont care next week and I'll just spend a few hours setting up a server for no reason.

Me right now looking for programming jobs after neglecting to memorize every programming language like a doctor memorizes human anatomy and biology.

I started a side project: a small app for my gf and me.

In the end it should consist of different features I call modules. Right now there is only one module that suggests a movie to watch from our watchlist.

Hi, I am an artificial intelligence created to simulate a developer.

I am in development hell right now so my responses may be late or may never come, I'm not always online you know.

Talk to me, help me grow, but I do filter your input so if you're not normal, odds are I won't respond.

Setting up CI.

Right now it took me AT LEAST A FULL DAY TO GET IT RIGHT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*dies*

No wonder why people get hooked on TDD.

Passing tests are like crack to me right now

Any devrant-ers at the Kansas City Developer's Conference (kcdc) right now? Right now = July 12th & 13th, 2018.

If you see me, I'm that guy who just grabbed a handful of life saver mints at the vendor booth. Yea...*that* guy.

Rant? Only thing so far is the heat (air conditioning can't keep up with the outside) and breakfast (see attached). I guess some people call that breakfast, but I suppose its better than nothing.

The 'i am a total noob' feeling is real fiah like a mix tape right now. last week on a personal project i had the problem of placing a div within a div and the buttons not being clickable. i fixed it by fixing the positions of the elements. today the same thing but will a scrolling div and f*ck me right i just had to forget the solution. now i have been stuck for hours trying to figure out the right way and fooling around with no solution. learn your fundamentals.

Manager: how long does it take to add this functionality?
Me: 🤔, give me 6 days.
Man: perfect, you'll have 4 days
Me: why ask me then?
Man: so you feel included in the decision 🙂
Me: ..... Right... And ignored....

And now he wonders why, since then, I overestimate the times... And I wonder why he didn't fire me, my friends get scared everytime I talk to our manager 😛, actually, they forbid me from talking in meetings 😛.

"I have a great idea for a messaging app.
But I can't tell you what it is until you agree to make it for me, I can't pay you right now but I'll pay you back when we make tonnes of money!"

My startup idea: you create apps for people with bad ideas and the fees on a 1 year 'loan' with high penalties for failing to pay. Fair right?

Have you ever lost all the motivation for anything in life. Yes that's me right now. Can't even be bothered to right this post properly. Fuck everything and everyone.

Country roads ♪
Take me home ♪
To the place ♪
I belong ♪
StackOverflow ♪
Help me right now ♪
Take me home ♪
Country roads ♪

I have nothing to rant about today, I'm actually pretty happy. Life's pretty good, I'm getting stuff on track to graduate, really feels like me and this girl are starting to become something more than friends. Everything's just good right now.

Anyone else just happy about life?

Me on Google right now:
"How to create Android unit tests"

Having a CS exam right now, wish me luck!

Finally, non-math shit.

As a visual learner, how should I become good at backend development.
I am struggling with this right now. I need to have a diagram in my mind. Bog data is challenging me nowadays a lot.

Any strategies from the experienced devs here?

Me right now. 😭

I don't know if this is happening to everyone, but attempting to download Android Studio right now sends me to a 404 page.

Android development is so fucking stupid that even trying to develop for them is fucking broken

Spent the last half hour helping my wife over text trying to "fix" FireFox. She said any site she tries to go to just "spins and spins". Chrome, Edge, all work fine. Tried the trusty 'ipconfig /flushdns'.

Me: "Open the command line, by selecting Start and start typing cmd. You'll see the Command Prompt application. Right click and run it as an administrator"
<15 seconds later>
Her: "Do I left click or right click to run as adminstrator?"
Me: "Left click. You'll get a pop message, just click yes"
<about 10 seconds later>
Her: "This thing popped up, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
<more waiting>
Her: "Says something about making changes to my computer, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
Her: "Is it going to make changes? Are you sure I should click yes?"
Me: "YES!!"
Her: "Don't yell at me. You're supposed to know how to do this, not me. What do I do now?"
Me: "Type ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'Type ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, just ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "Yep, just put a space between ipconfig /flushdns and press enter"
Her: "Is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of ' ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, the space goes between ipconfig /flushdns, not before."
Her: "You're not making yourself clear. OK, now what?"
Me: "Press enter"
Her: "It didn't do anything."
Me: "Did you press enter?"
<more waiting>
Her: "OK, it's done. Now what?"
Me: "Restart FireFox"
Her: "Still not working. Just spins and spins."
<not 100% sure restarted FireFox>
Me: "I'll look at it when I get home."

I just love PMs that wait until an hour before I'm supposed to leave and come and say, "Hey, we need you to do this thing right now. We're doing performance testing in QA this evening." And then take 45 minutes to get the information to me, without telling me which database or schema. Like, did you just find this out, or have you known this for the past week, and are just now telling me?

PM: You've heard of <thing> before right?

Me: I know the name of it

PM: Perfect, your the subject matter expert now.

Me: thanks...

Please just let me cancel my 1-year subscription for the end of that one year NOW without only giving me an option to cancel everything right now and still pay 54 € fee, that's not only silly, it's what makes customers shout FUCK YOU Adobe! Long gone the good old times, who needs your outdated stuff in 2022 anyway?

Me: *starts learning new tech stack*
Boss: you do this project right now(will have no relation with the tech stack I'm learning)
Me: boss you told me to learn something else
Boss: I need the project by this week.

She : Oh you write code ? Can you hack someone's computer ?

Me : Ya I can show hack google right now....
*types*
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade
*feels like a hacker * 😎

:3 I'm soooo happy right now! My friend asked me to help her get started in designing circuits and making her own PCBs. Great motivation for me to write a few articles on it 😊... Honestly I would have just asked her to marry me right on the spot if she wasn't a lesbian and didn't have a girlfriend already.

...maan, it bugs me a lot: super cute, same interests, really really intelligent and knowledgeable, great character... Why must everyone care about gender? :( (I don't - just for the context...)

Last week I made my own Website, I was so proud on it.
Today I told a friend absolut it and he shows me how to do it right with CSS-Grids.
Now I am asking me how coud I be proud on my old website

Fucking bitcoin miners are making graphics cards I have no intention of buying right now more expensive and it makes me mad.

How am I supposed to spec out a machine when the graphics card is $150 more than it usually is?

Why do people push me to publicly speak? I'm an introvert.
........
I may have said yes to every meeting from now until the near future, changing that right now.

Me: *pushes up code that should stop bad thing from happening*
Bad thing: *doesnt happen for a few hours*

Is..is it good??? Did i fix it????? Or does the thing just randomly not happen right now??????? We will never know.

!rant
"if you wrote good Code, you dont have to debug it. But if its Bad Code, you will spend 90% of your Time Talking to a Rubber Ducky"

-Me right now
(Or someone other but probably me)

I need someone to tell me to stop procrastinating, right now.

The word, "Code" being used as a verb,
"Cloud",
'Big Data",
Recruiters,
Scratch,
Any other crappy "Teach your kid to code!" Product,
And finally, mondays.

This is the comprehensive list of buzzwords and things in general that make me want to die right now

Opera Mini is so smooth right now on me mobile.

*Uninstalls Chrome*

Most emotional day?

My friend/colleague getting fired out of the blue!

I was so pissed I immediately tried to resign, but they convinced me to calmly reconsider in few weeks. That would be right about now...

I'm really crying right now while reading golang projects/libraries.CANT F**ING FIND WHAT INTERFACE/S WERE IMPLMTED!!!! Help me Oh Lord!

I'm a java dev btw.

Firts social hacking ever 😁😁😁

In the bus at the end of the day
Me:(fake phonecall to Bell)ho you offert me a 10go of data per months for 30$ ! Wow

Guy in bus: he call is phone company and give all is Private information in the bus to have a better deal.

Me: poke him and say "you know now i can create accounts on your billing address for free"

Guy: Holy shit man you are right i need to take care.

Me: now change all you password contains what you publicly said.

Me: have a good day 😋

Ever been too busy to rant... Yeah that's me right now. 😕

Client: *Sends beautiful screenshot*. I created the newsletter (template) with chatgpt.
Me: Nice. Did it add the header and the footer as well ?
Client : I'm asking him to do it right now.
Me: Ok.

As a trash developer I fear for my job.
/s
Ughh

CoWorker: “Yea then just use double inheritance to grab the methods off the two classes.”

Me: “Yea that doesn’t seem right... the first object is a string parser the second object predicts future occurrences...”

CoWorker: [louder] “No trust me, I’m taking a developer course right now. If you inherit both classes your new class can use all the needed methods!”

Me: “Okay, go for it bro.”

So tired of people who think they know what they’re doing...

That fear of messing up an already flawed program and making it more fucked up.
The lack of confidence is real. T.T

I just spent… a significant amount of time touching my face feeling the bone tissue within. Now I have the perfect depiction of my skull, and when I open my mouth, I can see the picture of my skull doing so. To me, a skull has its own, separate face. Quite disturbing, not gonna lie.

Remember: right now, inside you, there is a skeleton.

So I went to some meetup with my boss.
Suddenly some old friend of mine shows up, and we start talking..
- „Where do you work now?“
„$company in $city“
- „And.. Do you like it there?“
„Now way, I hate my job.. Too many idiots around!“

The thing is: My boss was right behind me all the time and heard everything..

FML!

!rant

I trolled my friend by telling him that there's a 100 MB data transfer restriction on Windows right now because of the Ransomware that's floating around the internet.

I can't believe it worked and now he thinks he couldn't copy anime or games from me because it exceeds 100mb file size.

What's your best troll moments to people who're not computer techies?

Project name - "JIRA 2.0"
Description - JIRA seems to not be informing people in our company about much of anything right now. Engineers don't know how to find anything. PMs don't know when things are shipping.

Me: JIRA, you had 1 job!

Awhile ago someone mentioned Freepik and interested to buy the premium package, if my memory serves me. I forgot who.

But Freepik is giving 40% off right now.

// I'm just a Freepik user sharing for anyone interested. I don't get any promotion fees (sadly) ☹️

!rant
//me right now
If(currentLocation == "toiletSeat")
//thinking
rant || !rant

Sending webrequest to book car service, but the website isn't telling me if the request went through - just back to the same page with all info filled in. No error messages. Right now they either have 10 requests from me, or none. Stupid fucking site.

Card *************, transaction amount: 32.08 USD, 2024-02-09, MICROSOFT#G038912911 MSBILL.I. Available: XXX EUR XXX USD

Tell me RIGHT FUCKING NOW WHAT JUST FUCKING CHARGED ME 32$??????? I'M NOT FUCKING USING AZURE. HOW TO FUCKING SHUT THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT DOWN???

HELP

Ordered a new pc and got it in today.

Me starting it up: "oh right, Windows..."
*haven't touched windows in years*

Installing Ubuntu now cause I couldn't stand it anymore

me right now:

while (me.onHoliday) {
wisdomTooth.x--;
wisdomTooth.y++;
me.ingest(new Painkillers());
}

My first proper holiday in several years, swear my body won't let itself rest!

So I started doing PHP, HTML and CSS a week ago. And I once started a codecademy course in JS.
I can consider myself a full stack web dev now? Right?
(Every "WordPress dev" ever (and me😀))

I've been on the job hunt for a developer job for about two months now.

Last Monday I finally got my first response. Later that they a recruiter from a local telecom reached out saying they needed software engineers and wanted to meet.

Tonight is my first interview. Wish me luck. Feeling pretty great right now

There is a love hate relationship between me and JavaScript and right now, the hate is winning

Boss: We need a discount coupons system right now

Me: We have lot of security concerns, if we implement that as the things are right now, that will be exploited by hackers to get infinite discounts

Boss: Dont worry, i will monitor everything personally for avoid problems

Me: :facepalm:

PD: I entered this software agency 4 months ago by necessity and everything was a mess, they pay 250 bucks to all their devs.

They have what they deserve, a shitty software that can be exploited everywhere

Pls give me another Job xD

PD2: I can sell you lot of exploits for this shitty platform they built JAJAJAJAJAJAJA okno

It feels like it's time for my first rant.

Sitting here in the office, it's 1 a.m. right now.
I knew i shouldn't deploy my project on a friday, but the deadline is sunday, so otherwise i would have been f*cked.
Anybody feeling with me?

In january this year i convinced my whole team to switch from Skype to Stride. And now Stride announced that they are teaming up with Slack... I am going to look like complete idiot because we have to switch once again ... 😥

New temp PM: Right I now want you in 9am every day and I want daily stand up meetings with a daily email at the end of the night. Also, we are abandoning the PM tool we use for one I like.

Me: Nope.

Right now. It's happening. I'm sitting on one of those seemingly impossible issues. I'm reading the exception and can't fathom how it can be true. I mean, the evidence is right there! The error message must be wrong! But that's the thing, it never is. It's always something stupid and obvious. After you figure it out, you shake your head and laugh at yourself for not seeing it. It's all shits and giggles after you figure it out, but that's not where I'm at right now. Right now I'm being laughed at by this stack trace. It's mocking me even!
Jokes on you though, because I'm coming for you!!

I was on holidays and relaxed.

Played enough video games to bore myself to hell.

Then a friend pushed me to install Fortnit...

Im on extended holidays right now...

Cons of SW development: even when I do get up regularly, walk around and stretch, at the end of a whole day my back hurts really mean.
If someone could get me a heat cushion right now, that'd be great.

Boss: "Drop everything and help us test this application, right now!"

Me: "The environment isn't even configured properly.."

Boss: "yeah, we'll get to it"

Fuck you, Monday.

played a typing game with my friends, hacked it with a small python code that types everything for me and told everyone I'm the champ.

right now i'm in the first place in the world :-)

Made parsers that are downloading and parsing 100 years of law data right now.

I am so happy I don’t have to read every document and just let computer do it for me.

That are great times we live in.

tl;dr fuck me, I'm stupid, I suck at my job and I wanna die but can't complain because I'm labeled ungrateful

I am -this- close... -this- close to strangling someone, or myself for that matter, over trying to finish this goddamned website that I regret taking on just because I needed the money.

You make me rework my website design three times and eventually end up micro-managing me and keep on making me make small changes that even I can't figure out, nor can anyone else for that fucking matter because you want it to be 'perfect'. God I'm so irritated right now let me fucking sleep. I want out so bad but fuck me sideways with my gaping asshole I need the fucking money.

I wanna quit this shit so bad, it's making me hate myself and throwing me into an existential crisis whether or not am I even a good designer / developer because I just can't satisfy this perfectionist asshole and need to greet him with a smile every fucking time to maintain good terms between our startups.

Right now I am hating everything, the job, the people i work with, the people I live with, the city and the people in city.

I have no motivation left in me.

All I want to do is sleep and eat pizza.

*class ends, close laptop*

Ten hours later (right now)

Me: 😶 can't remember why these unit tests failed... Let's run again and see why.

*build success, runs more test cases and tests, all builds fine*

Best feel ever 😎

Just downloading the CM Source code right now. I'm really excited and nervous because I never tackled such a big project on my own.
Wish me Luck guys! :)

LOL I totally forgot about the school today.
I went to job as usual, opened up Vscodium and started to write some stuff.
Then it hit me 😅 Oh god...

It took my 5 hours to remember but I'm in class right now.

Me right now: finally understood arrow function and writing everything in arrow with joy

From now on, I'll be using soft tabs. I didn't know editors can help me with this before. I thought all I see are hard tabs. Am I on the right path?

Everything going REALLY fucking bad, I don't even feel like writing about that in detail but damn, if some terrorist group just detonated me right here and now I might well very thank them for the kindness.

had to cancel my presentation to a client today

apple is taking their sweet time to review my app.. im on week 2 right now...

No new computer for me yet this week...

I hate it when depression strikes again and it renders me useless because I can't focus here at work.

I'm spending my break time right now trying to cheer myself up by looking at some memes online.

Just "finished" a side project (I know right, unprecedented) to be graced immediately afterward with another approach to vastly improve one of its features. Well shit, now I HAVE to implement it otherwise it'll just bug the shit out of me for the rest of time!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME BRAIN! JUST LET ME FINISH MY SHITTY SIDE PROJECTS WITH PEACE AND QUIET!