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1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"33 -
I thought it would be good prank change semicolons to Greek question mark in my boss' code where his delivery date is today. I thought he will spend like at least few minutes figuring it out.
He ran make, immediately figured it out and even corrected with sed only. Then yawned and looked at me with a smirk. Now I am getting paranoid what he will do as revenge
46 -
TLDR : I left a company which doesn't understand the concept of email id and passwords.
Me (trying to login to the alumni website) *no register user option*
Customer support - you've to click on forgot password to create an account.
Me - Wonderful
*clicks on reset password*
*enters employee id, name, email, father's name, DOB, date of joining , date of leaving, current city because apparently if I just enter my employee id it is as if they never knew me. Sigh*
*your password will be sent to your email id*
Me - okay. *waits for two weeks because I assumed someone will manually go and create my account and email me, considering the state of system. *
After two weeks,
Me - I still haven't received my password on email after I created my account. Can you please check?
After one week,
Customer support - you need to click on forget password if you forgot your password.
Me - *inventing new curse words* I have not forgot my password, I never received it in the first place!
After one week,
Customer support - yes you'll receive your password on your email id.
Me - *runs out of curse words* seriously dude?
* proceeds to reset password*
System - your password has been reset. Your new password will be sent to your email id. *apparently anyone can reset passwords if you have the employee id, which is an integer*
After a week
Me - Am I going to ever receive the password? I've tried generating passwords, resetting my password. I never get my passwords. What should I do!!
Customer support - yes you need to click on Forgot password.
Me - are you fucking kidding me!!!
You fuckers need to be fired and replaced by a FAQ page which has no question and just a single answer, because a peanut has higher IQ than you. For any questions you may have, just reset password. Goddammit idiots!
Also, which email id are you sending my passwords to?
Customer support - myname@oldcompany.com
Me - you do realize that this is the alumni website for the company. Alumni means ex members.
Being ex members, you can assume we don't have access to our company email ids obviously?
Customer support - yes.
Me - how am I supposed to get the password using my old email id then?
Customer support - you need to click on forgot password option.
I think I should probably move to the Himalayas for my anger management issues. Plus it'll be probably easier to throw idiots off a mountain.31 -
Girl: What's your idea of the perfect date?
Me: dd/mm/yyyy, others formats are confusing
Me: Wait where are you going18 -
My mom never touched a PC or smartphone. Well, most people didn't back then, because it was the early 90s.
But I brought a borrowed SNES to the hospital and taught her to blow on the Zelda cartridge if it didn't work. She died after we finished the game.
After that my dad bought me a commodore 64, the machine that taught me about electronics and programming, and molded me into who I am today.
On the first date with my girlfriend (now 12y together) we just sat talking for hours in her room, playing Zelda on her SNES taking turns, and I told her my mom would have liked her.14 -
I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
.
.
.
.
.
the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)12 -
Too much stupid today..
Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"
Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"
C: "Clean it up"
Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*
Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."
C: "No"
Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"
C: "No"
Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"
C: "No"
Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"
C: "Just fix it"
...................
...................
...................
What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.21 -
Why am single 😂😂
On a date with a girl:
Her: Tell me what you do for a living
Me: I create my own stress and worries, sometimes these worries follow me in my sleep.
Her: Did they follow you here?
Me: Yes! Infact, I got it now. I think I forgot to install curl, that's why my API queries wouldn't work.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: I mean, I out of here, bug is fixed bit*h14 -
(regarding a discussion with a female programmer about an event)
Me: ... But Id feel so out of place, I don't even have a date
Female: well you can always just import a date
Me: what do you mean? 😕
Female: import Java.util.Date;13 -
As a Java Dev, the thing that frightens me most about colonizing Mars is that we have to rewrite the Date class...8
-
Mathematician girl invites me to code some lines.
I arrive at her flat and she was alone so some part of me thought ehem. Anyway i took a look at the program first.
Me: so... it's a date?
Her: no im using cosmic radiation.
Me: huh?
Her: yeah accessing a value from a sensor gives a..
(Apparently she thought i was asking about the Random Function she was using, which usually uses the date)24 -
Not sure what Linux Desktop to use? Use this handy guide:
- GNOME: when you want no tray icons, themes that break every minor GTK release, and extensions for basic features (that are buggy.)
- KDE: pretty go-Segmentation Fault
- DWM/Awesome/i3/etc.: when you feel like the time you spent learning Vim wasn't wasteful enough
- XFCE: when you want one update per decade and poor Systemd support.
- LXQt: the biggest positive is that it doesn't use GTK.
- Cinnamon: when you like GNOME 3 but you want a different menu
- Deepin: when you want a desktop with the build quality of an HP laptop.
Aren't sure whether to use Xorg or Wayland?
- Xorg: if you want to absurdly fuck up your touchscreen, pick this one.
- Wayland: if you want to screw up most of your apps, too bad; this won't work with your proprietary drivers. If only it did.
What distro to use?
- Ubuntu: if you want to break your system with PPAs, check out this one.
- Debian: when you want Ubuntu except with more out of date packages
- Redhat: when you want Debian except with more out of date packages
- ElementaryOS: wait, someone actually made a properly designed Linux UI?
- Arch Linux: the only thing that doesn't make me sick anymore.
- Slackware: "that exists still really?"
- Gentoo: when you hate systemd more than waiting 4 days to compile Firefox on every release.
... I love Linux. I do. But it is very taxing to get things comfortable for me anymore. I feel like the Linux Desktop is in a period of flux and it's painful to be a part of right now.25 -
boss: What the fuck guys! Why didn't you go to the meeting this morning? Have you checked your google calendar?
me: But, but it is scheduled to tomorrow, google calendar says that.
boss: Who put that date?
me: You
boss:....
boss:And fo you double checked it?
me: What do you mean?
boss: Double check! Check if what is in the google calendar is correct!
me: But that doesn't make any sense.
boss: No excuses!! Next time you must double check!10 -
What is your idea of 'perfect date'?
Me: DD/MM/YYYY
Seriously, living in US since last six months till, still not getting used to MM/DD/YYYY!!!19 -
It's not a date but ok..
my classmate (that time) was not that good in programming in Java. So she asked me about some topics. After I explained them to her we had some talk, and we liked each other.
Well, today we're waiting for our daughter ..12 -
“So, using whatever language you want, php, python, perl, javascript, program something that gets today’s date and time, then writes it to a file.”
Me:
$ date > today.txt
“We don’t feel you have the right skill set.”
https://stilldrinking.org/interview...14 -
My boss pissed me off so much yesterday I totally ditched work today. I had some spiced rum for breakfast (and dinner) and spent the day playing minecraft and browsing Black Friday specials.
I did a little bit of work that (oversimplified) involved paying a Clover contractor for doing basically nothing. Totes cool with that as the guy is really nice and a decent dev. Annoyingly, though, he started hitting on me and asked me out on a date at the end of the call. He's like 65 and has a daughter (grand daughter?) my age, so that's like totally creepy. Ugh.
Getting hit on by random old men is still better than talking to Mr. Asshole the Sales Fetishizer, though.11 -
Act I
Me (Lead Developer), Boss (Head of IT), CEO
> enter stage left CEO
CEO > "Alright Boss, give it to me straight. Are we going to be able to release app x by this date?"
Boss > "Yup we'll have a beta release on that date"
> exit stage right CEO
Me > types long email to Boss outlining exactly why we won't be able to release app x anywhere near that date, beta or otherwise, because:
1. We have a development team of 2
2. I've never developed an iOS app before
3. Developer 2 is still trying to understand git, because
3a. Developer 2 isn't even a developer (but he's doing iOS front-end so w/e)
4. We don't have the required database systems in place
5. Or CRM
6. Or CPQ
7. We'll need to conduct a security audit
Boss > "yeah, but CEO is gonna need to hear that date a few more times before he can fully understand"
Me > *internally screaming BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT AT ALL*
"ok cool just glad we're on the same page on that one"5 -
My current one. When I was chosen for my current job as the final candidate, he went for me partly because we've got the same favourite music and that made us click very well.
Now, a year later, it's still going awesome.
We can be serious but most of the time (when we see eachother) it's (savage) jokes, 'rekking' eachother and we keep eachother up to date on new music releases and festivals.
I remember this convo about music:
Boss: Heyy, this is a track I go hard on: Rejecta - Followed 😉
Me: oh yeah that one is awesome! Have you heard his other tracks?
B: HE HAS OTHER TRACKS?! 😍
M: Yaaaaas! He's got 'deserve to die', ''let my tape rock" and 'move my body'
B: OH MY GOD THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME 😍
M: enjoy man 😘
B: thankies 😊
He's not that much older than me and actually listens to advice.
Just an awesome boss in general!5 -
I've resigned 3 weeks ago. I have also completed my handover process.
Yesterday I was told that I have to work in the weekend and at night because project delivery date is the following week.
Kindly I responded that I have resigned and working on weekends and late nights won't benefit me in anyway now actually I wasn't benefiting from working on weekends and late nights even before my resignation.
Project manager is pissed off at me.
Oh well, it is what it is 🤷8 -
My biggest pet peeve at the moment is people without any development experience using version numbers.
Me: "Communicating a release date for the feature towards clients is dangerous, we have a developer shortage, and currently don't really have enough capacity to..."
Manager: "What we release next month doesn't have to be perfect, it is just a v1"
Me: "You mean it's a beta? If that's the case, could you maybe differentiate the requirements of the beta, let's call it a 0.1.0, versus the 1.0.0-rc, the release candidate?"
*Feature is eventually merged into production, barely in a beta state*
Manager: "So I have some ideas for the v2"
Me: "You mean 1.0.0"
Manager: "Let's compromise and call it v1.5"
Me: "Let's compromise, you stop communicating release dates, AND you stop using version numbers..."
Manager: "That's not a compromise..."
Me: "...I wasn't finished... And I won't respond to the recruiter who just offered me a better paying job"5 -
Wrote 800-1200 LOC
It went through code review which was apparently my first code being reviewed
Took me 1 month and more to fix most changes (per day more than 10-12 hrs of effort)..
That 1 month was a nightmare. Every day I thought of giving up programming. I shouted to myself every night why did I never considered these myself. How can I be so dumb.
Half of the reviews I didn't even know how to implement. Didn't even know what to Google.
I consider it as one of my toughest phase as a developer till date.
I still get goosebumps remembering those days.9 -
I just spent an hour debugging my company's web app. More specifically, I was trying to fix a bug that made a label on a comment I just made say "Posted 3 days ago".
After confirming timestamps on the server are correct with a calculator, fiddling around with the js debugger, and ruling out weird timezone-related shenanigans, I came to a conclusion.
The bug was in fact sitting, quite comfortably, between the chair and the keyboard.
Yesterday I had moved the date on my computer roughly 3 days into the future, because I was testing out some unrelated code that was dealing with Redis, and I wanted to expire all of the keys stored inside of it.
Don't blame me, my parents told me I had fallen onto my head as a child.5 -
I very very rarely drink, but when I do I party hard.
I negotiated an entire piece of complex web architecture (really huge, works at 50k transactions per second), with my boss who's a lead architect, from a bar (he thought I was home), while moderately drunk.
It got me a lotta praise and till date it's one of the best pieces of software I've ever written. It saved the company 500+ hours or something #humblebrag.
To this day I have no recollection of what I said (huge hangover after) or how I managed to come up with that shit. I don't think I'd have been able to do it sober. The sheer size of the problem would've made me go "yea it works, I'm not touching that. Nope."
DAE notice any increase in pattern recognition in their code while drunk?1 -
Boss: We need a new functionality to record company names for now.
Me: Ok. (This will be a quick one)
(few mins later)
Me: Ok, adding/editing/deleting company names.. done. I also added "date recorded" field, just in case we need it.
Boss: Ok, thanks.
(~20 mins later)
Boss: We also need a functionality for the users which has "this" permission to be able to "request" for a company registration. We need to add fields to record the contact person, email, phone, etc.. Once a "request" has been submitted, "this" person-in-charge has to get a notification on the dashboard. And the requesters, should get a notification that they have a pending request sent. Once the registration is done, the requester has to be notified.
Me: 👀6 -
Email from a company I applied To:
"Hi... We will be in touch by the 7th of November"
Me:... It's December already. Maybe I missed it.
Second email: "Sorry! Typo. It's meant to say 7th of November. Refer to this instead"
Me: ...
THIRD email: "So sorry. Or mailing system is failing so disregard all those emails and refer to this one. Thank you."
Me: ... WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DATE!??6 -
7th feb : Spend rose day by explaining my 10th grade nephew how to draw "rose" in c++.
8th Feb: nephew calls me and said thank you, his classmate agreed to go on a date with him.
When i was in 10, i was busy watching micky mouse and all.
Sigh.6 -
>be me
>it student
>working on group project
>one guy is making the ui
>says he added "date selection events"
>check code
Switch(date.Day){
case 1:
break;
case 2:
break;
//To-Do: add other days
}
He did this for years, months, hours and minutes.
He bragged about it.
Fuck you.
Sincerely, fuck you.3 -
Client: We need this site up and running by the end of the month.
Me: Ok we need them to send creative over. Please provide it in Photoshop format.
.... A few days before due date.
Client: We have sent you all the creative. Please see email attachment.
...... Opens attachment. Creative was created in PowerPoint.
FML!! I CANNOT BELIEVE!!!
*starts twitching*5 -
Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...2 -
Subject: FW: Twilio integration
Date: 20th June
From: <program-lead>
PractiseSafeHex I need you to fill in the dev completion dates for the Twilio task for the mobile team by EOD today. Backend have already supplied theres. Otherwise I will be forced to mark the task as “At Risk”. Please let me know if there is an issue or you are blocked.
—- Begin Forwarded Mail ——
Subject: Twilio integration
Date: 18th June
From: <program-lead>
Hi All,
Documenting today’s meeting minutes. Backend confirmed they will handle the Twilio integration from their side entirely. There will be no mobile work required for this task.
Thank you,
<program-lead>11 -
Long ago, like 5 years, I made an app for my EX GF in symbion to track her periods. Application predict the next date when your period will come based on her cycle.
How ever after 2 month of usage she told me that application was flashing that she is pregnant. She scared shit out of herself and made me sacred a hell as well.
Later i find out that the variable i used to store number of days between last period and current date was not capable of storing value more than 40, i don't know how, and triggers negative value to be shown.
Early days of my programming, Shit happens.8 -
Manual Data Entry: Most boring job
This reminds me of one conversation with one of my faculty..
Faculty: Why not try some Machine Learning Project?
Me: Cool. Any ideas you have already thought
Faculty: Comes up with a really noble idea
Me: Awesome idea. But we need data
Faculty: Don't worry. I will get it. Just help me setup Hadoop (see the irony.. no data yet, and he wants big data setup)
Me: But we don't have data. Let's focus of data collection, Sir
Faculty: I will get it. Don't worry. Trust me.
( I did setup for him twice coz he formatted the system on which I did the setup first time)
After 6 months,
Me: (same question) Sir, Data??
Faculty: I got it.
Me: Great. Give me, I can start looking into it from today.
Faculty: Actually, it's in a register written manually in a different language (which even I can't understand) I will hire data entry guys to convert it into English digital contents.
Me: *facepalm*
Road to Manual data entry to Big Data
Dedicating this pencil to the individuals keeping the register up to date and Sir in hopes of converting it into big data..
Long way to go..
4 -
Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: What? No ways!!
Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.
Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓5 -
Ok, rant incoming.
Dates. Frigging dates. Apparently we as a species are so bloody incompetent we cannot even decide on a one format for how to write today. No, instead we have one for every language and framework, because every moron thinks they know better how to write the date. All of them equivalent and all of them different enough to make me start lactating out of frustration trying to parse this garbage... And when you finally manage to parse it on one platform it turns out that your ORM just decided to use the less common version of the date, and have fun converting one to the other. I hope that ever time someone comes up with a new date format will be hit in a face with a red hot frying pan untill they give up programming in favour of growing cactuses.12 -
PM: Guys, we have to upgrade Java 8
Me: hey check out all these cool functional programming stuff (lambdas)in Java 8.
PM: Sorry you can't do that. Our automated testing software isn't up to date to test Java 8. So you have to code it "vanilla"
Me: Erm, upgrade it?
PM: we didn't budget it for that.
Me: *thinks to me miself* brilliant8 -
*Friend after a date*
Friend : Bro what according to you is a perfect date?
Me :DD/MM/YYYY....
Everything else is just confusing.
Friend:😒16 -
Alright, the blog seems to be running again and its not breaking yet which is a good sign :P.
Although nothing has changed on the front end yet, the backend has been partly rewritten to be more efficient and of course, post sorting based on posting date!
I'm aware of most of the front end issues so no need to tell me all of them again, I'll look at that tomorrow as I need sleep right now :(
If you'd find any bugs/security issues, please, don't exploit them but report them instead! I take security very seriously and will try to patch any security bug as soon as I can :)13 -
This is my first post. Had an exam in php, xampp wasnt working, assistant came and said i dont know to configure codeigniter, after 30mins of calling he came, tried and sad "well this isn't working". He then called administrator to reinstall xampp. I lost more than half of exam time. I didnt finish it in time, he said that i could do it in a less time by his opinion. It was full working php site with crud and customer view. When xampp started working i had 1h to do it all. After some time and arguing i got a a new date to do it. It is tommorow. Help me god hahhah.11
-
I recalled a seemingly simple task I took on.
We were building a booking system, and I had to figure out how to retrieve bookings by a certain date range.
Upfront, the tasked seemed simple until I realised I had to both figure out the logic and the SQL statements needed to retrieve all bookings within a certain date range in one query.
I ended up drawing a model to help me visualise the various date-range criteria to be satisfied. And used unit tests to help me think through each date range criterion and make sure they were accurate. Some were obviously from paranoia, but better to be safe than sorry...
After that, I had wrote down raw SQL directly into Sequel Pro first to make sure my query logic was accurate too, before translating into something the ORM equivalent. This was when I learned how to define and use variables in SQL. The variables were throw-away code; I just didn't want to have to hard-code the test date-ranges over and over again; minimise chances of spelling errors.
Needless to say, felt my problem-solving skills went up one level after this task. Saw my coding style and unit tests improve. And also the thought processes that go into how to maintain code quality...
4 -
Had an interview in a MNC company.
He: Propose a solution for reading huge logs file like 1 GB and parse errors with today's date.
Me: Gave two solution, one with regex and second with buffering the logs (reason: reading the entire in same shot will cause cpu spike with huge memory consumption) and I fell in love with my second approach. By the way it was on paper.
He: (Without seeing the logic) Your syntax is wrong.
Me: Got frustrated who the hell checks syntax in interview. I asked how may years of experience you have?
He: 10 years.
Me: I don't wanna continue, and I left.5 -
Gf: "Why are you such a typist"
Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."
Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"
Me: "Uhhh"
Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"
Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.
Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"
Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"
Me: 🤔5 -
The award of fastest internet on earth goes to me :D
*note:
its just Ubuntu was not able to update date/time settings during setup cuz I had wifi turned off, turned it back on and ran apt-get update, must have started before the system was able to update its date/time settings, so ya I did not photshop :)
11 -
I had a very informal interview/information session with a hot girl earlier this week.
Being the #foreveralone type, I'm calling it a date with a hot girl, when I tell my family about it. 😍
We scheduled a follow-up session for next week, which will be even more informal than before. Now it'll be more like a date, and I won't feel so bad telling people she liked me enough to go on a second date. 🙃
What can I say, I take what I can get. 🤗8 -
Things happened this year so far in chronological order:
Applied to PhD and got all rejected
Graduated without a job because I thought the last event wouldn’t happen
Decided to take more shots at universities in Europe and Canada
Paper got published and got best paper honorable mention
Interviewed by couple professors and the one in Canada seems to be interested in me
School in Canada, which rejected me before, reopened my case for review
Bank account got closed because my parents transferred me some money to support my unemployment ass and bank thought it was a fraud
The review process took so long I got hopeless and thought, if I end up writing webpages for other people, why not doing it now? And did two webpages which are in my previous rant, pretty good and highly recommended imo
Canada school promised a date but didn’t follow that date, depression attack
Finally sent them an email and got an answer saying the admission approved my application and they are working on paper work. But I still don’t believe it because I’m paranoid
Got an email from a professor today confirming they are doing paper work and I should receive official paper soon.
You can see the dramatic ups and downs, but in the end, guess I’m going to Toronto for phd13 -
She: What's your idea about perfect date ?
Me: I'll recommend mm/dd/yyyy.. others are really confusing
.
.
***Blocked***20 -
App nearing completion. Code tested, everything's working fine. Ready for release.
The client just calls me and tells me that they have decided to turn the app into two separate ones. Should not be a problem, you developers must have some tricks for that, according to the client. Of course, the release date remains unchanged.
Clients!, finally understand that there's no secret button for turning an app into two separate ones.5 -
Me: ok, we're 4 days from launch, here's the most up-to-date version of the app, and here's what's been added since yesterday.
Client: ok, looking good, still needs a little more here and here.
Me: yes we've made note of that an-
Client: oh ya, and that thing that's been in there since day 1, take that out.
Me: oh, ok, we're gonna need so-
Client: and that thing we specifically asked for, take that out too.
Me: that's fine bu-
Client: oh, and add a fucking Christmas wreath for them to jump through. -
FUCKING FUCK! THE TEAM LEAD WANTS ME TO MAKE AN UNNECESSARY UPDATE, AND IN THAT TOO HE WANTS TO IMPLEMENT A HALF ASSED FEATURE. Upon telling him what it takes(which he doesn't understand shit about cuz he's not from webdev background and has the level of experience that I had when I was midway my first webdev book), not to mention that he hasn't even seen the code of the project I've worked upon, which I got from an intern they fired last year cuz of not working and shitting around everywhere in the code(I asked if we could start afresh and he says that it'll take too much time - guess what, it took us two extra weeks already cuz of that and half of our required features can't be implemented cuz the code is beyond any hope), he tells me that "The client won't need this feature, but we're thinking of more and more features to provide (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK).
Okay, you wanna sell your product; fine. I suggested that if we're letting the client select the time stamp on the initial date, then we should let him select the time stamp on the ending date too, right?
"No, we'll not provide this feature" ARE YOU FUCKING BONKERS?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH YOU?!?!
I'll have to make major breaking changes in the code, for which I'm not the only one working on. Great.
This, coupled with the fact that he speaks unbelievably slow and it's so irritating cuz he repeats himself thrice.
What happens(has already happened), when he'll show this to the seniors, he'll say that this is either unnecessary/will suggest a major change, which WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH FUCKING BETTER IF TOLD BEFORE I START WITH THE CHANGE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS
I thought this would be fun. Well fuck me.2 -
First and last time I used tinder, the guy figured that I know sOmeThIng aBoUt Co_0mpUters and asked me to fix some stuff on his website. I can't complain, it was the least boring part of this "date". And free coffee.
tinder.delete();12 -
Me:
- Few days ago: Orders thinkpad
- Now: Checks email
- Sees shipping email from lenovo
*YES! Earlier than expected ship date by a full week*
- Opens email
- Package only contains the additional charger that I had ordered, I can't even use it without the laptop
*facepalm*4 -
Client A: "I understand that we need to extend the due date for the project, but why we need pay extra for that?"
Me: "Because my people and I need money to survive as well...."
-
Dutch devRant meeting.
The current idea is:
Place: The Hague
Starting date: Saturday the 21th of October.
Ending date: Sunday the 22th for the ones who'd like or just Saturday for the ones who'd like that more.
Spot/place within the hague: (help me out here people)
People can get their own sleeping accommodation. Please ask if you cant find anything :).
So for now remains as main point: when/what time!
Share your throughts in the comments.31 -
I fucking hate it when developers don’t respect user locale. My phone language is UK English, my Discord app language is UK English and my region is UK.
Then why the fuck is Discord showing me MM/DD/YYYY date format? How hard is it to pass locale when parsing time?19 -
Find super interesting forum thread from 2015 with intelligent discussion about deep technical stuff.
Creating forum account, thinking about contributing to ongoing discussion with code samples, findings, hypotheses, and some open questions.
Browse to last post, is from late 2016, from moderator:
READ FORUM RULES DO NOT POST IN OLD THREADS LOCKING THIS
Me: 😡😤😠 WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THE SHITRULE THAT A DISCUSSION HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE? IF I COULD REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN RIGHT INTO 2016, I'D PUNCH YOU THROUGH THE ROOF OF YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT. NO ONE LOVES YOU, YOU USELESS MOTHERFUCKING CUNT OF A MODERATOR.3 -
I'm extremely lucky I'm not violent person. What happened today for some reason just completely pissed me off. I'm not sure why it got under my skin so much, but I feel completely disrespected.
I went to our marketing person's office to discuss a basic requirement for our api. Very simply, we have a lot of old shitty date that doesn't have a lot of fields filled out (worse yet, some are simply bogus values like crazy random dates and whatnot).
She put in a ticket claiming our most recent change started changed the creation dates to be empty. Easy enough to disprove, because the marketing software we have shows a records of all the edits for each contact, and if it came from our api it'll be labeled as "Web API". So of course I check the example contacts she give us, and there's no history of changes, meaning they never had the date to begin with (which is correct, as until now we didn't track creation date WHICH IS NOT MY DECISION. So dude 10 years ago probably made that decision).
So I start asking what exactly we're using it for. She does an absolutely horrible job of describing it and keeps telling me "no you absolutely have to be able to do all this, it's our requirements". By "this" she wants me to magically give all these contacts correct creation dates after the fact.
Eventually she gets the whole campaign idea out and I point, politely, that they're probably violating GDPR. She starts yelling saying her and her boss have been doing marketing for years and they know what they're doing. So I (less politely this time) said that's fine, I just want to talk with her boss to make sure he understands he's in the grey area and that if I'm the one building this, I'm kind of liable as well.
She clearly didn't like that, but I thought whatever, let's just agree on some requirements and I'll pass it on to my boss (who genuinely shits on her every single day and is constantly saying she never knows what she's doing).
So I go back , do some work. A little later I have to go print something off which is next to her office. Her door is shut, but I can hear her from down the hall yelling at someone about the conversation we just had. She actually starts mocking me. Doing the "stupid person" voice. This goes on for longer than our conversation.
Like I said, I know I'm right and she's just venting because she doesn't want to admit she's made a mistake. But for some reason it just completely broke me. I'm new but up until this point everyone had been pretty open about how they feel about me and my co-worker. But she just didn't need to go that bloody far.9 -
I bought flowers for my date. Online.
When I registered, the website send me via email my 30 character long password.
😥
So I try "forgot password". The genius website sent me, guess what, my 30 character long password...
For fuck sakes!!!! You had one job.... Hash the fucking password!!!!
I'm afraid these people will probably get hacked soon (murphy law).
Sha256.. Guys please...12 -
Interviewer: what would you say your biggest accomplishments to date are?
Me: ............*thinking* I made that kick-ass sandwich that one time!1 -
Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.
Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.
Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.2 -
You fucking son of a bitch!
First you make me do a project in two fucking months, and that's a fucking job-load for only one dev to deliver a SPA with payments and whatsoever.
Then you pushed me to accelerate deployment date and there I am, getting tired and using time I don't have.
But oh no, you prick, that wasn't enough, you had to do just one thing. YOU HAD TO DO ONE FUCKING THING!
What's that? Oh, sorry, I thought I overheard that you wanted to accept online payments but YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SIGNED UP, YOUR BUSSINESS IS NOT LEGAL UNTIL YOU REGISTER IT.
Motherfucker, I can't do anything, you better fucking register your bussiness if you want this to work the way it's supposed to do. -
*On a date*
Girl: What's the most daring thing you've ever done ?
Me: Once I accidentally ran sudo rm -rf /*
Girl: That's hot !5 -
Story: Fastest I got a freelance/contract job
Company: *sends me an email that we saw you on GitHub, your profile is good and blah blah openings etc, if you are interested provide phone and suitable time.
*On call* starters conversation done in 2 minutes
C: how much experience do you have in blah blah frameworks
Me: x months
C: can you do blah blah work
Me: yeah
C: we want you to join from blah blah date and we can pay you x much money
Me: alright thanks, send me the formalities.4 -
Boss: You have one month to finish the program.
Me: It will be complicated but lets see how it goes.
To be cleared the end date is 2 of July.
Boss on the last friday: You have to finish on the 20th of June
Me: Yeah sure....
Boss yesterday: You have to finish on the 15th of June.
Me: You said one month.
Boss today: you have to finish by the end of this week
Me: No problem Boss you will have it tomorrow!!!
Boss: You have to. There are more projects waiting...
Me: -.-
This is what I have to deal with. But hey... don't forget... tomorrow is a new day so ... fuck it.5 -
Missing the first entry date for university was probably the best thing that happened to me.
Got to work full time and show off my expertise in "reallife scenarios" for nearly a year.
Best experience i could've made until now. -
Description of a Bug in JIRA:
Hi guys, there is "another" bug :-))))))!!!! :-((( with the customer list:
- The list of Customers (**which one? we have 4 fucking lists **) is sorted by Name, not by Birthday date (**wait, it's a sortable table, with a sortable name, city ,zip column, it's not sorted by birthday because the birthday column was not even required **)
- If I click on the details I see some data missing (**which data? which customer? there are thousands of them and most work**)
- In addition the arrow on the right is too small, can you make it a little bigger (**excuse me**)?
- I also need to export everything in excel.
Categorised as: Bug
Moron. You are part of a League of Morons...2 -
Got an email earlier this week. It went something like this:
"It looks like your team still hasn't delivered the logging and monitoring solution that we asked for. Can you get it done in time for our production deployment next Friday?"
Um, wait, excuse me, WHAT?
1. You never actually asked for the thing you claim we didn't deliver. In fact, when we brought up the fact that you should probably have some monitoring set up for your servers, you said it would be handled entirely by your own team.
2. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS PROJECT FOR SIX MONTHS WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR DEADLINE UNTIL NOW
3. I won't even have time to start working on this until the Monday after your prod deployment date. Sorrynotsorry.
I really shouldn't be surprised though. This project has been a clusterfuck from the very beginning so this is just par for the course.2 -
Well, if your tests fails because it expects 1557525600000 instead of 1557532800000 for a date it tells you exactly: NOTHING.
Unix timestamp have their point, yet in some cases human readability is a feature. So why the fuck don't you display them not in a human readable format?
Now if you'd see:
2019-05-10T22:00:00+00:00
vs the expected
2019-05-11T00:00:00+00:00
you'd know right away that the first date is wrong by an offset of 2 hours because somebody fucked up timezones and wasn't using a UTC calculation.
So even if want your code to rely on timestamps, at least visualize your failures in a human readable way. (In most cases I argue that keeping dates as an iso string would be JUST FUCKING FINE performance-wise.)
Why do have me parse numbers? Show me the meaningful data.
Timestamps are for computers, dates are for humans.3 -
An ex of mine broke up with me when I changed my career path to programming. She said she wouldn't want to date with a programmer, I said 'ok bye'.
Guess who has a better career and dated with smarter, nicer, more funny and more attractive people since then 😎7 -
My boss back in 2013 asked me to figure out why he was getting birthday notifications from his pet social media project almost a week early. It turns out the previous developers had written their own date library in which every month had exactly 30 days, leading to a year that was 5–6 days short of what it should have been. Apparently those morons didn’t know that some months have a different number of days than others. Or that leap years are a thing. Or that there’s a standard library full of tried-and-true functions that handle these kinds of things for you.5
-
I found out that not many people know Floating for YouTube extension
I personally use it to watch confs when i am doing easy stuff
Help me stay up to date ( it's distracting so i turn it off when i have to concentrate)
Hope it helps someone!
9 -
Peopleee of devRant!
It's been a year, I missed the date
I got to know lots of people, it has been an interesting year... certainly
Thanks anyways
To every ++er, to the people I now call my friends
I'm still a student at uni, still bad at stuff, still an embarrassing mess, it is best to not mind me hehe
8 -
I really hate designers who get worked up over a few pixels difference between their mockup and the end result.
I really, really, really, really, thoroughly despise designers who get worked up over a few pixels when they keep changing the mockup without notifying me, when we're already *weeks* past our intended launch date.
Shove those pixels up your ass, you fucking fuck7 -
I gave you a nice date picker to use but instead you choose to type in the date. Type in an incorrect date and then yell at me for it. If I could enter the dates for you , you would not have a job .... stupid users4
-
My step mother told me she has an old laptop from which she wanted to extract the email address book. I highly doubt of them (less than 20) are still up to date. Some of them are from dead ISPs 😰
I'm honestly surprised about the immediate respond times and that it still works pretty well.
6 -
You fucking dense motherfucker of a professor. You mentally disabled shit-eater. You fucking perfectly know that I have been offered a very good position in a company I really wanted to work at and you fucking force me to stay and wait for the next graduation date to make me get my fucking degree. Just because you offered me a PhD position and I didn't want it.
I sincerely hope you lose all your prestige. Fucking choke with a big ass cock in your throath, eat your own vomit disgusting piece of shit. You are a fucking 60yo child. You have no respect for people work, you always want more. Get cancer fucking animal.
HOLY SHIT HANG URSELF9 -
A dev's love story
I first met WebStorm but found her too fat, I wanted a lighter editor to live some JavaScript romance with... I had a date with SublimeText and fell in love with her immediatly. I swore I would NEVER change for anybody else, everything was wonderfull !
Someday, I opened myself to other Typescripted perspectives, I had new projects in life. A coworker introduced me to VSCode. She looked like Sublime, but more convenient. She was easier to use, perfect to achieve my goals. She was also more organized with my files and her beautiful colors made me crazy. But recently, I got mad at her. VScode became slow to understand each of my moves and even threatened me to exit all the time...
I tried to come back visit my Sublime, my real first love. But I knew it would never be like before.
Now I'm here, alone. I don't know what to do with my life. If only I could fall in love again, I don't know if people can help me get out of this hole.
The END9 -
Q: Tell me what date types do you know.
A: Excuse me!? Date types?
Q: Eh, I see you didn't get it...12 -
The devrant april fools actually got me, completely stopped for a second and had to look three times, until realizing the date, I already thought my sleep schedules are coming to get me1
-
A month ago. The code for a feature was removed because my boss thought it would not be required. When that was done, a lot of regression testing was done and a lot of code was changed all over the code base. And those changes were merged to main branch along with a bunch of other changes.
But now, he wants me to put that feature back just as the release date is approaching. It's just a humongous waste of time. Now I need to find where all the tentacles of that bloody feature reach and manually put back the code. And the bloody testing needs to be done all over again.
When will I get to stop dealing with these kind of people.7 -
A : "The log tables of the licenses is broken, fix it"
Me : "But who ever made this didn't make a relation between master log table and the detailed one. I can't get anything from details table"
A : "There is a relation .. "
Me : "What ?"
A : "The date entry of each record"
Me : "I Quit" -
Recently met this girl and she told me that she had gone on a date with another Software Engineer recently.
I asked her why it didn't work out..
She told that he started every single sentence with "I am going to assume that you know nothing about this" and went on to explain the most boring shit while assuming that she was a dumbass.
To the poor Software Engineer, you missed out on a great gal.2 -
My work is LITERALLY cock blocking me.
My wife and I scheduled a lunch 'date' at 12:30. At 12:10, I foolishly thought "Eh I'll check in my changes, I'm 95% sure everything will be fine". Wouldn't you know it, after compiling for 7 minutes, the build server throws an error complaining about package compatibility, which locally is just a warning. Now I have to babysit the good damn build.
I seriously thought about bolting and just dealing with it after lunch, but I'm a good little developer.3 -
So...Worked my butt off to have a website developed by a certain date client and I agreed on. Finished the site 3 weeks ago and sent dev link. Client has been completely silent; unreachable by email (I sent 5 in past 3 weeks) and phone (left 2 voicemails and a message with his receptionist today). In ALL five emails I told him I needed the email addresses he wants used to route his sales leads to...Got nada.
So today I seen that the lead forms have been tested on the website. Dude can't get back to me for 3 effing weeks, BUT can test his lead forms.. You know, without the lead email addresses that i asked for 5x. Ugh, idiot!!!2 -
"why do you like computers more than women" was a question my dad asked me today. that was a fucking curveball lemme tell ya
turns out my dad thinks i'm sexually attracted to computers as i don't flirt with women nor do I date.
I don't have a car, I don't have money, I like an hour from town, I have no charisma and I look like an unevenly-melted candle someone dropped into a bag of shaved 5 o'clock stubble. Of course I don't talk to people IRL.4 -
Bout to go on a first date with this girl I been vibing with for a week and I am like getting seriously anxious like wtf. There’s no bug harder than dealing with what’s going on my head rn. Pray for me 🙏🏾26
-
Tonight is my school's prom and I'm the only one of my friends that's not going. My original date cancelled on me and the other one ended up getting a boyfriend and cancelled too. Oh well.
(Am I capable of posting about something other than my personal life? Holy fuck I don't have many posts that aren't about my personal shit)8 -
My company con not find any other developer than me.
I could not understand.
We use only up to date libraries in our projects.
Please note the comment private properties...
14 -
I wrote an app (took all morning until now) that tells me which shows and movies Amazon removed from Prime...
I forget why I wanted this... was it just to screw with Amazon because they rejected me....
The app is also going to tell me what movies/shows were added because they can't fucking sort them in chronological order by release date. I don't want movies from pre-1990s that were recently added...
Yes I could search for them manually but it's too fuckin tedious, gotta turn on like 10 filtering options...
And maybe I just want to run mini-DDOS attacks on their servers...
13 -
!rant
Conversation between [C]oworker and... some kind of customer-side [P]roject manager.
P: Hey, our release 2.0 is ready, but somehow I can't add tag to master. Could you try, please?
C: Yeah, sure.... Done... We are missing tag for 1.2 still, should we add it?
P: Oh, right, I forgot about that.
C: Ok, found merge... Done.
P: *displaying repo in GitBlit* Uh, now the order is wrong. And date is the same. Can we do something about that?
Me: We can just push that tag with replaced date. *just guessing*
P&C: You can do that??
Me: Sure
Me.thinking: Thats git... I would be suprised if we could not.
Me: *pushing tag* Check it now.
P: Whoa, nice!
3 -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
So I just lost my job because I wasn't 'working hard enough'.
I'm the hardest working person there, everyone else just stands around and talks, but they don't do anything because they're union members (I'm agency so I'm not) and the union follows up on the smallest things.
That would be bad but not earth shattering if I had savings, was up to date on rent, didn't have the bank and various loan companies hounding me, and I still possessed the will to live, but that's not the case.
I'm sick of this constant barrage of shit that the world is chucking me and I just want to go lie down on the train lines and wait now. Fuck this world and the shit it constantly gives me :'(8 -
Wanted to date this girl Winnie but she kept reminding me of windows every time she texted.
I hate being reminded about exes. -
I work for a bank and every production release date it's a chaos... Like, for real, devs running to get their stories approved by the testing team and last minute scope changes that, if not made, would make the whole app fail (real shitty management as you can see).
Longstoryshort, a dev didn't finished one of his stories and create 7 major bugs with another... Today that was my breakfast, took me 4 hours and get it all done and approved... We didn't make the release tho, but I scored some major points with this.
Funny thing, tomorrow I'm telling my PM I'll leave the company for a better job, so that will be their breakfast.6 -
Your data is formatted according to some ISO? Nice. You say it's easy to use and well documented? Great!
IT'S FUCKING FORMATTED WITH IRREGULAR SPACING??
What the fuck is this formatting?
Date <tab> Word <3 spaces> Some conjugated version <ONE space> Type <FIVE spaces> gender
WHAT
WHY
WHY ISNT IT XML
WHY ISNT IT JSON
WHY THE TABULATOR AND IRREGULAR SPACES
WHY DOES THE ORDER CHANGE PER LINE
WHY IS THIS IN A SINGLE 1MIL LINE FILE
help the university of oslo makes me dysphoric in their dictionaries i really dont want to parse this1 -
When your "product owner" just doesn't listen...
Skype conversation:
PO: What format will the dates need to be in for the csv file upload?
Me: Just tell them YYYY-MM-DD
PO: ok
Two weeks later...
PO: there is a bug in the csv file upload! The dates aren't being picked up
Me: ok will have a look, send me through an example date the are using
PO: ok, example date 12/03/1990
FFS! 😡
3 -
There it is!! First date fuckup due to the 'happy new year' thingy..
I am surprised it took me so long! xD
14 -
PM: "Please try to prioritize this request that we made last Friday at 5pm over all your other high priority stuff we know you're busy and we should have requested this 3 months ago... but now we need to deliver next week and well we need it"
5 minutes later "When can you deliver that?"
Another 5 minutes later "Sorry can you give me that delivery date? We REALLY need it"
Well maybe if you leave me in peace and I can concentrate on my job rather than answering silly requests I can make up an idea of how much time I need to deliver... but of course I'm just a code monkey, I press some randome keys and the magic happens. -
Amazing client.
Want to add parallax effect to whole website (yes I also don't understand) after everything is done and final.
After they have moved up the launch date.
After they have asked me to also do the data entry not only the development.
After I specifically asked for ssh access, PHP7+ server and then they asked me to deploy it to their shared hosting through cpanel.
After ...
After ....
After .....11 -
Node: Will you go out on a date with me ?
JavaScript: Where?
Node: Outside the browser.
JavaScript and Node lived together happily ever after.
*** After marriage ***
Node: What is wrong with you? Why don’t you let me EXPRESS my feeling?
JavaScript: Stop overREACTing.
Node: You never want to understand my point of Vue.14 -
4th grade. My parents left for the night and got a babysitter for me and my younger siblings. The babysitter showed me a game she likes in IE. You could make an account, raise a digital pet, a "neopet," play flash games for points to buy items from other users who listed them in their own stores that had custom css/html, including bg music. This was the first time I had really witnessed what the web could look like. Animated tiled gif bgs really amazed me so I took to google with which I discovered sites where one could copy css and html snippets for themes. I stored each new html tag I discovered via w3cschools.com in a powerpoint where the snippets I found were pasted somewhere randomly in the ppt. From there I learned html, CSS, and a billion other things. To date I've made websites, apps with several langs in win/Linux/osx/Android (but not ios yet). I've managed servers, and databases , and DNS records. I've in even ran website with 100k requests a day.
3 -
Guy I work with messaging me: Hey could you check my SQL syntax to get the date part for the month and year.
Me thinking: Ughhh this is going to be something stupid I know it. Why doesn't he just check it himself?
I check it... 2 queries that are very, very, very... simple... and similar except one returns last year (2017) and the other returns the current year (2018)
Me: Not sure what your issue is... I'm not getting any syntax errors. They are executing
Him: Well it shouldn't show 2017, it should show 2018
Me thinking: learn to debug you lazy fuck
Me: Well you're adding a -1 to your year...(Not sure why your even adding to it if your just getting the current month and year)
Him: Oh you're correct! That makes sense
Waste of my time2 -
User: This web page form is too hard to use and is prone to have wrong data filled out.
Me: Uh...ok. Here is a redesign. You literally fill out one text field and a date picker.
User: Oh this is great, thanks.
*checks the database and the very first entry they created had the wrong date.*
Fuck me.6 -
Someone just overwrote 2 weeks of work in SVN because they don't understand merging.
When they did an update before committing they ignored the conflicts and tried to build their work.
But wait it won't build if their are conflicts, I know I'll just copy this backup over the checkout and check that in instead.
It took me over an hour tho fix this fucktard's mistake and I still don't think they understand what they did wrong. Their supposed to have 40+ years of experience.
In the end it turned out they wanted to change about 10 lines. They had checked in files that they didn't even change, they were just out of date compared to trunk.4 -
* Got a date *
She : I'm a programmer.
Me : wow that's great! Which language do ya prefer to code?
SHE : HTML .
* And that's where I ran away *23 -
I need to invent time travel so I can go back to Friday morning and slap my past self for thinking that Linux From Scratch might be a fun weekend project. I should've gone to bed four hours ago and instead I've been shouting at LLVM.
It really makes me appreciate the hard work that Linux distro maintainers put in to keep all the pieces up-to-date and compatible with each other. I already want to put my fist through my monitor and I'm only trying to maintain a single virtual machine.12 -
I needed a new laptop to work/study and found a suitable one on Lenovo's website...
25th of july :
- "your order has been placed... blablabla.. it will take approximately from 1 to 2 weeks to prepare and 3-5 days shipping.."
- hum... Ok.. seems long to just put RAM and SSD inside my laptop but alright..
31st of july :
- "unfortunately your order has been delayed, the new shipping date is estimated for August, 14"
- Fuck ! Ill be patient then.. hopefully it'll be ready earlier than that..
10th of August :
- "unfortunately your order has been delayed, the new shipping date is estimated for september, 7"
- WHAT THE FU.. ?!? YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT 8 FUCKING GIGS OF RAM AND AN SSD PLEASE TELL ME ?!? IS IT A JOKE OR WHAT ?! I FLY ABROAD THE 17TH OF SEPTEMBER YOU BETTER SHIP MY LAPTOP IN TIME !!
I'm really mad now and thinking of cancelling the order.. I might have no time to test the laptop before flying.. FUCK !!4 -
A chick asked how much I earn, and I politely declined to answer.
She seemed annoyed and insisted, nudging me by saying how much she earns.
Again I told her I'd rather not say.
She got mad, started trying to emotionally blackmail me into telling her my salary...
This must be a red flag cuz I don't give two fucks about how much money people I date earn/have and expect them to either respect or share my view9 -
Today I had what might have been my worst job interview to date. It had many different technical, cultural, and business red flags. One that really stuck out to me was when I asked my interviewer why he loves his job, he went on about how great the benefits and events are. Not a single word about the work he does or his teammates. A younger me would have seen this as an opportunity to put in some hard work and contribute to something great. Older me knows to avoid this dumpster fire like the goddamn plague.6
-
It's killing me.
This senior keeps doing all his fixes in the the same branch (named "develop-copy-{hisname}") and keeps merging it directly into develop and deployment branches. He has a lot of experience and therefore the manager gave him direct access to the branch.
The problem will arise when the QA team sends back one of the issues in the release back for changes. This never happened till date (his fixes are early and we vet all in-team changes, therefore he gets time to clean up his mess before the release date) but someday this will bite us in the ass.
I'm really unsure about ratting him out to the manager but I couldn't convince him to use separate branches (or separate commits) for different fixes. I couldn't convince him to add JIRA links/numbers into the commit messages either.
And, the junior devs I manage are getting inspired by him, and won't listen to me when I try to enforce separate branches, creating a political mess (probably I'm kinda like a contractor and they are permanent employees).
Sucks.6 -
Just got a ticket reassigned to me from another employee leaving the company. The "Days to Due Date" field says -964.
It's for a very simple task that takes max 2 hours. Contacted the guy who created the ticket and it's still needed.
Excuse me what the fuck.4 -
Another unrealistic deadline from our non-software developer PM.
He agreed to client upon delivery of a complete system consisting of 4 micro-services in Node and 4 front-end Angular application integrated with each micro-service accordingly.
Project Delivery date is December 31. I have told him It is impossible to deliver complete solution on December 31.
Now he wants me & my team to come to office even on weekends.
What an idiot !5 -
Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.
I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.
The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-3 -
Dear Identity Providers, Never ask for "favorite teacher" or "mother’s maiden name." Security questions are among the worst ideas in security to date. If you insist, at least let me provide my own questions!9
-
I will never understand the need people have to lie about their knowledge or make shit up. Seriously am I the only one to despise that ?!
If you don’t know about something stop trying to make shit up on the go, it’s useless and it will give the wrong idea to people listening to you thinking you know what you’re talking about.
Last example in date:
Me: Here’s this cool repo I found, it’s a discord client implemented in cpp, so it runs natively
Techbro: oh cool, hey @everyone you should download this, it runs natively so there will be no leaks like the normal client
😤10 -
so i ordered free samples of microcontrollers because i didnt want to waste money... in the receipt, i saw Oct 28, 2017 and im like oh cool i guess ill receive it on that date.
today they sent me an email saying they have already shipped the package today and im like wtf why just now and i looked over the receipt again and saw:
SHIPMENT DATE: October 28, 2017
i swear to god i flippes shit because it may actually arrive in a month or two and the project has to be submitted in a month. goddamit and there is no other way! i have to buy it :(( the worst part of it is that i have another set of microcontrollers TO BE SHIPPED in January. theyre for the next project which should be submitted in January.
lesson: TIME IS FUCKING GOLD. if u want free sample, order them at least 3 months before u start the project.3 -
We were forced to do a Friday deploy of a new project. I, smartly, decided to bring my laptop with me on a "couples date". I spent the entire evening trying to fix a screwed up deploy from a restaurant.
Wife was NOT happy.2 -
I know I can't be the only one thinking safari is the new IE, like "it has to work on safari" makes me way more sad than "it has to work on edge"
IE is default unsupported in my company
This time around I figured out that fucking safari can't work properly with dates!
Like:
new Date("2019-05-16 11:00") // won't work
new Date("2019/05/06 11:00") // will work
new Date("16/05/2019 11:00") // won't work
new Date("11/05/2019 11:00") // will work, but it's November the 5th
Ok, the last 2 bugs are due to English&American who can't understand how dates work, but still... WHY IS SAFARI THE ONLY DIFFERENT ONE?8 -
My partner asking me about the code he's working on. This is what happens when two programmers date each other. This was more of an issue when we were both in college, but it still sometimes comes up on occasion.4
-
Let me tell you why I feel like a shit right now. I work as sw dev in a country worse than Germany and company I interviewed is located in Germany. So this is kinda big deal for me.
I interviewed with the company last year, interview went really well. They told me during interview that they would return in 2 weeks tops. It took 2 months for them tor return. For some reason, I was not hired for that position. Later I learned that the division i was gonna work defunded/separated. After learning that the guy I interviewed really tried hard to give me good news but failed-therefore had to delay bad news, I was not sad for not being able to be accepted for that position or delayed response.
Fast forward to this year, I interviewed with the same company for a position as subcontractor employee on another company. Interview took just before Coronavirus situation started to blow up(mid March), I had to return to my home country when the borders were closed asap, 2 day after interview. Fast forward to May I got the job offer and contract with a good salary, July as starting date. But I have no Visa and you apply for visa with a valid contract. German embassies work at minimum capacity, no new applications for any type of visa including work/residence visa. After my serious research I found a crack, emailed the embassy and they finally agreed to give me a special appointment on the start of July. The company I interviewed sent me new contract(August starting date) automatically.
On mid July, I told the company that visa might not come soon enough, I might not make it to August to start to job. We both agreed to replan starting date once i got the Visa.
On August 6, my visa came. I informed them asap, and they told me the other company will return in 3 weeks with new starting date. I was like WTF we were waiting for this visa for months, why do you need 3 weeks. Anyways, 3 weeks past and the other company still did not give any new starting date. I really feel like shit right now. Last week I asked to the "my" company if there is a problem with my employment(the other company might change plans after all) and they said only starting date is the problem, don't worry. On 3 occasions, they reassured me there was no problem(no, I was not asking them like paranoiac obsessive person, they were preemptively saying it in some cases). They say other company employees were really asking about when I was coming frequently.
What should one do in such situation. Do I even have legal rights? Maybe I will look back at this post and laugh at my paranoia, but I would you random internet citizens' ideas on this situation. They say lightning does not strike twice to same point but living same disappointment with the same company would really hurt. rant over, mamba out.8 -
Not Speaking The Same Programming Language
(It is the mid 80s, and I have a coworker come to me with two full pages of computer programming source code.)
Coworker: “Hey, can you help me with this? This function is not working right.”
Me: “Sure. What’s it do?”
Coworker: “Well, on the first line I copy…” *drones on for a few seconds about stuff I can clearly read*
Me: “Wait! Let me interrupt for a moment. I can read the code. In 20 words or less, what does this do?“
Coworker: *long pause that tells me he’s having trouble seeing the forest for the trees* “It, um, converts a date that’s a string to three integers: month, day, and year.”
Me: “Ah! Excellent. And by the time you get the string, has it been sanitized? You know, guaranteed to be pairs of digits with a slash in-between, not blanks or words or other garbage?”
Coworker: “Oh, yeah, all the user input is cleaned up.”
Me: “Okay, good.”
(I scribble “sscanf(text, “%02d/%02d/%02d”, &month, &day, &year);” in a blank spot on the page.)
Me: “Throw out everything and replace it with that.”
Coworker: “You’re kidding.”
Me: “Not at all. Use that. It’ll work. Trust me.”
Coworker: *not sure* “Well, okay.”
(Half an hour later he’s back and looking a bit sheepish.)
Coworker: “That worked. Thanks.”
Me: “No problem.”
(It’s been 30 years. Unfortunately, the new generation of programmers is in the same spot.)
https://notalwaysright.com/not-spea...2 -
My new favourite commit message:
"All changes as of 18th Sept"
How tremendously useful? There I was looking to know what changes were made to enable a feature / service, thought I could look for that in the commit message, but no you've given me a much more efficient way of finding out.
I simply need to download the contents of your memory, find out what date you made a change, and then dig through the massive commit to find the piece of info I need.
Forget experience using Git features, managing merges, following Git flow, or even any other SCM ... how can people be so tick when it comes to recording what they've done.
Heres a little cheat sheet for those struggling:
- Commit message
Describe what you actually ****ing did. Don't tell me the date or the time, thankfully Git records those. Don't tell me the day of the week, if I need to know I can figure that out, just tell me what ... you ... did.
- Feature branch names
Now this is a tricky one. You might be surprised to know that this isn't in fact suppose to be whatever random adjective or noun popped into your head ... I know, I too was shocked. The purpose of this is to let other people know what new feature is being worked on in this branch.
- Reusing feature branches
Now I know you started it to add some unit tests, and naming it "testing" is sort of ok. But its actually not ok to name it testing when you add 3 unit tests ... then rip out and replace 60% of the business logic. Perhaps it would have been wiser to create a new feature branch, given you are now working on a new feature.2 -
Boss: How long will it take to finish the project?
Me: (Gives date for finishing dev and deployment.)
Boss: great, sound reasonable.
Me: ...
Boss: wait. Aren't you on vacation the two weeks after that.
Me: jup.
Boss: yeah we are not doing that again. Client can wait another two weeks.
Before someone says no Boss/PM is like that, he was/is a developer too so discussing deadlines and efforts is usually pretty relaxed since he knows our codebase and how long it takes to do things.2 -
Someone else always have git log like this??
Or just me? 😂 ;-)
commit 6e71f545c3
Author: ShellAddicted
Date: Sat Sep 9 02undefined21 2017
it Works!!!
commit 6ac2c98bf
Author: ShellAddicted
Date: Sat Sep 9 01undefined47 2017
works more or less
commit 411b8e12
Author: ShellAddicted
Date: Sat Sep 9 00undefined00 2017
Initial state not working.
EDIT:
I just noticed that devrantron modified (bug) my rant (see the undefined in times)3 -
Had anyone experienced with an impatient boss who require you to complete the project in the month you just recently got hired?
Here's the story, I recently got hired by a company, joined on 1st April 2022, the boss expect me to complete the app for Android and iOS by the end of this month. (An e-commerce applications exactly like shopee.com) Without providing me the Backend ApI , that they mentioned. They just gave me a and expect me to know what's happening at the backend.
He require me to give him a specific date that I can launch the app to play store and Apple store. (From my experience, it take days, weeks or months). He need a milestone of what I need , did , and will do (which predictably that they will reject any new ideas proposed) .
I even considering to quit, but I need opinions. Am I just too sensitive or there's something wrong?15 -
College male computer science student here:
Even when I find attractive girls who want to date me, the thought of it stresses me out. In reality if I can truly chat and have a good time with a girl she has been friend zoned.
Advice anyone?8 -
Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"
Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."
Client A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You have to pay more."
*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*
Client A: "I don't understand."
Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....
3 -
What follows is an email I want to send very badly right now:
RE: please provide new date format
There is no new date format. You have the day and month switched. In the sample you've provided.
You've been getting away with it up til now because the digits were small enough to be either a month or day.
Then, as soon as you hit a snag you immediately gave up and assumed it was me changing things. You came to me before even making a guess what could be wrong.
Learn to fucking troubleshoot PLEASE. I am sick of your lazy shit coming to me with an issue every time you stub your toe. You are professional developers and I am your junior.3 -
!Rant
Got a job offer as an Android Dev, signed the contract, while signing employer asked me if i am a mac or pc user. A day before my joining date got an email from him asking me to bring my mac with me on my first day. Turns out he won't be providing me with a machine to work on :).5 -
I hate hate hate React! Sorry but to me it's just such a bloated pos of a framework. I realize it was pretty revolutionary at first, the idea of having everything "reactive" and all of that - but newer things like Svelte.js are a dream to work with, whereas trudging through the poorly coded React app I'm supposed to be testing for work is making me want to pull my hair out! I installed a vscode tool so everybody could see what the import "cost" is on everything - a simple INPUT is 50KB of pure BLOAT for something that should and can be way simpler.
I realize there are probably better coded apps out there that wouldn't drive me so crazy, but anybody importing hundreds of KB of 3rd party crap just to get a select box, some inputs, and a date picker are really out of their mind.12 -
Fuck me ... Redesigned my website ( www.whatkeptmefrom.com ) within the day and solved a bug with the date pagination while I was at it 😄 time for a beer 😍5
-
Why Gmail. Why the fuck do your search parameters, especially your date filters, not work anywhere near as expected.
You make me have to query and test, query and test, just, randomly fucking guessing because, fuck it, right?
With a good 10 second refresh time. I love twiddling my thumbs and pulling my hair out.
after:2018/11/1 should produce emails from Nov 1st onward.
Not, TODAY ONLY, if no other parameters are
specified.
If there's a from: parameter, now we want to do after Nov 1st, right?
And also, don't show me how to sort in reverse order, either. Not without a complete rewrite of my class there, which clearly I'm too lazy to do right now.
Fuck the Gmail Api, responsible for weeks of wasted dev time... or more aptly put, "fuck devs using our gmail api" says the maniacal, sociopath devils that created it
fuckers.1 -
An actual email thread:
G: I need this done
Me: okay. Whats the priority, when's the due date, who are the stakeholders, what's the sensitivity level of the data?
G: Priority is ASAP, due date is ASAP, stakeholders are ALL OF IT, and i want to be able to control the data sensitivity level
...
Those arent ANSWERS; they're REQUESTS!!!9 -
Q: Whom would you like to date?
Me: Carbon (**whispers in mind** carbon dating and laughs all alone)3 -
I was searching for an internship while studying abroad (7h timezone difference, I was expecting some difficulty to communicate). I also sent my resume to a friend so he could pass it around.
So one day I receive this mail, with a company telling me they're interested in my profile. When reading through the previous messages below I see that actually my resume hopped from my friend to one of his to another person etc...
Quite glad that this human link brought me an opportunity, I ask for an interview over Skype. When we finally settle for a date and time, "interview" starts by him basically saying me : "We'd like to hire you, do you have any questions?"
Well that was easy 👍 -
All this started around an year back. In college we had this subject of web programming where we were given a mini project to do. The topics were given related to college stuff. Mine was an attendance system. Made a simple website using all i knew about bootstrap, jquery, etc since i had some previous experience with web. The professor liked it and asked me to further improve it so that it can actually be implemented. This was six months back.
Since that day, to this date, that guy asks me to add a new feature or just modify something every two weeks. These guys just want free work and think everyone is just free. Neither does he help a bit... just demands... god knows when this forever loop would end! It has become frustrating now...it just feels as though why i showed my skills in the first place 😐😖5 -
Why the hell is JS so terrible, and why do so many people resort to using is as a back end. So many packages, so many outdated dependencies. My coworkers and friends have heard me rant about my constant frustration with this terrible setup.
I understand the need for dynamic html but why have we bastardized this language to the extent we have.
Keep your projects up to date, it saves people a lot of trouble in the future.8 -
So, I was rejected from a job cause I didn't answer one mail asking for a technical detail about my code... my bad for it.
Except I checked the mail every single day and it was neither in mails, nor in spam, nor in the other gmail smart labels, and it magically appeared October 30th, with the date 27th October. WAT?
I am not even angry (I am extremely sad because a remote job would have allowed me to finally move in with my sweet half, but that is another story) just... wtf? How...did it...? WAT?
11 -
Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.
-
Ugh! Salseforce! Fuuuuuck youuuuuu!
I have worked with C++, Java (little bit), Javascript, Python, R for so many years without any complaints ever! But this shit makes me feel so incompetent. Maybe I am actually incompetent but lack of constraints and good debuggers helped me hide that till date. 😭
Idk. I'm going to sleep.7 -
This is not joke but fact
More than a year ago I write code without tests, I must confess its frustrating trying to debug without proper testing. testing is painful I must admit but you can't compare the confident you have on your code with the pains when writing tests.
About a year ago I wrote a whole software without tests and this words from a friend hunted me everyday till date he said, what cannot be tested cannot be trusted. Wise words.7 -
"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."
I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."
To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.
And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.
Steal this poem.9 -
!dev
I went on a date over two weeks ago. It seemed to go well, but the next week she called me and said she wasn't interested, giving reasons why.
I was disappointed but responded as friendly and responsibly as possible. It was the first time a girl had said no to me, so it hurt.
While it hurt to be rejected, I also felt relief because her reasons prevented us from continuing down a path of mismatched expectations.
The next day, I told a close friend about the outcome of the date because he knew of my interest in the girl. We talked and laughed about it like a missed train on a rainy day.
Just last night, my friend told me he met with the girl, and I was shocked. He said he didn't know why she had said no and wanted to talk to her to try to change her mind.
I was angry because I felt this was a dumb move. He said he was only trying to help because he thought she was a good match for me.
I had already closed that chapter and moved on, so I told my friend I didn't care what they discussed and that I had seen her missed call on my phone. If she calls me again, I won't pretend everything is okay and will let her know that I never sent my friend to convince her further.
He told me to pick up her call and hear her out, but I personally find it disturbing if someone needs to be convinced by a friend to get a positive response.
Yes. I was disappointed by the rejection, but I respected her decision. I was frustrated by my friend's actions, but I will stick to my decision and not pretend everything is okay if she contacts me again.
She just sent a text now! oh my f*cking friend…9 -
Hi.
Forgot to renew my expiring ssl cert of my smtp/imaps/pop3s on 12/31. Set that date to self-harm me for bad monitoring.
F**K F**K F**K F**K...
Why do I do that?
F******K!
Meh.
You shall have a happy new year... i will regen certs :D -
Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"
The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date. -
Oh, boy, prepare for the shit to fly at your face at light speed. Here it comes!
Been working for 6 weeks at this new company now. But at a department that has nothing to do with the job in my contract. Went to the boss and asked how long I have to do this the first week and he said "It will be 4-8 weeks. After this (department A) you'll be placed in department B". I was like "Ok".
6 weeks pass by and there's no sound from him. Went to his office and complained that something slowly needs to happen (changewise). He agreed and I went back to work.
Few hours pass by and my coworker gets a call from him that I will be working at department C from now on with no more information (such as end date) given. My coworker told me that and I asked if he didn't tell my coworker about the end date or any change of plans regarding department B. My coworker didn't know anything.
After the work ended I went to the boss again to ask him why there was this sudden change that he could have told me before in today's meeting or if this sudden change will interfere with our old plan. Instead he passive aggressively told me that he already told me that I will be placed at department B in 2 weeks.
No shit, Sherlock. I already fucking knew that you told me that. I just wanted to know if this sudden change changed our old agreement.
This company is so fucking unorganized. Jesus!4 -
So, today timestamps within my database saved me. I have one titled "created_at" to indicate when the item was originally created.
Today a large client called up to complain that they have 296 bookings but only 288 menu choices (each booking has a menu choice). Basically, saying I'd "programmed it wrong [sic]" :(
After taking a quick look at the date the client originally added the menu and the date the missing bookings were created, I made a discovery.
It turned out the client was at fault. They had set an event (customers book events and bookings have a menu choice) live without associating the menu. This meant the event had been live without a menu for customers to book.
I simply compared the timestamps of the missing bookings to the date the menu was originally added. The customer most likely made the event live for period (I estimate ~45 mins), realised they hadn't associated a menu and then added it afterwards. Of course at this point it was too late as people had already booked.
No need for a huge email either. I condensed the above into a 5 sentence email.
Timestamps are soooo useful1 -
I Started in 2012 at 12 years old with Minecraft as an introduction to computer programming. I created a few of my own mods and released them to the forums. I think my name was "lilwillis2" if you want to look them up. Once I created mods, I got into game development. I used The Cherno's game programming tutorials and a few others on youtube. After having my fun with game Dev and the debt of College soon to come, I got into developing my own apps, which got me into using react-native. React native made me realize that I should probably try to stay up to date with the latest frameworks and languages, so that I can create a surpieror product in much less time. It also made me realize how quickly programming changes. Last year, before getting into react-native, I got a summer job using Django and mezzanine at a local company as a web developer and they want me to work there again this year, maybe even on a salary with a pay raise. I recently turned 18 and I already look at code I wrote a few months ago as crap 😂, but hey it means I'm improving quickly!
BTW, if anyone knows any tips on paying/saving for college, please do let me know!1 -
What's the point of using the tracking then?
Or why don't you just show me the 3 weeks date as estimated arrival date instead of the wrong date showing on the tracking report currently?
Adding 7 days is fuck simple.
Why give wrong reports and false hope?
4 -
When your boss-slash-designer-slash-idea-guy puts in one 'tiny' requirement that puts a bottleneck on the entire project. . . and there's only one guy working on it.
Well, excuse me, this shit is not going to take a day to fucking implement. Let me just mark this task with a 2 week finish date. Someone pls save me.
-
Demo for client goes bad when we encounter a bug adding a new entry into the back end. Entry shows up in the admin but not the front side.
<thoughtbubble> "I can't believe this, we just tested it! How can this be? How? How?" </thoughtbubble>
Perhaps, the cache? Nope.
<thoughtbubble> "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" </thoughtbubble>
Perhaps the front side is pointing to dev? Nope.
<thoughtbubble> "Oh shit... make something up quick. Make it sound good." </thoughtbubble>
Tells client we'll have to look into it. (real smooth)
Looked into it and it turns out the bug was actually a feature. Apparently when you assign an "end date" to a date in the past... by design, it won't show.
However, was it bad UI? That's a different argument.4 -
Im new on GitHub, and google didnt give me an answer simple enough for me to understand, so here i go.
How do i commit to GitHub and keep my files up to date, but without committing my password/oauth tokens?
Does one remove the line before committing, or what are you supposed to do?
Im using IntelliJ, dark theme11 -
Pissed off:
Trying to write a date function that converts an Int (seconds) to days hours/minutes/seconds.
Get stuck when I build the output-string because I need to mix string and Int. I am used to C# and PHP, C++ just screws it up for me.3 -
Fuck you BBC, I just want toblosten to fucking radio and you tell me that I "need" to sign in.
I do not want you to tell me what to losten to. I do not want "relevant" content, just want to listen to 30 mins of news.
Then you say it is easy to signup, but then ask for my exact date of birth as the first question wtf ...
5 -
i am (somewhat unreasonably) mad at a ten year old classmate of my child. he showed off his programming skills by typing print commands. i wanted to mock him a little by pointing out python 2 would be out of date. he called my child a noob and suggested i don't know shit and he'd be coding c++.
so beside me obviously having no dignity for mocking someone quarter my age, i am not even mad for him talking shit about me, i am just overwhelmingly disappointed about his entitlement and blatant lies. so this is the future? this is an uprising nerd? i'd love to encourage every child on programming, but not with this attitude.13 -
@Gilles had a similar rant and reminded me of a story...
As a kid I learned QBasic. Moved to VB5 and later VB6. Because of this 'knowledge', I was the one who had to maintain legacy applications at my previous job. All of those applications were in use at various banks. On first work day in 2011 all hell broke loose - no date input control would accept the date anymore. I quickly discovered that the max year on date inputs was set to 2010. Later, I was told that nobody expected these applications would still be used in 2010 so they entered it as a distant future number. The funny part was that one bank was still running apps written in VB3 and I had to go back to basics. Didn't even know how to edit basic controls in that interface :D
Good times :)1 -
A few years ago I was at the taco bus (Taco Tepito) to get some food. There was a couple there (man and woman). The woman was speaking fluent Spanish to order their food. It kind of seemed like she was showing off her skill to the man. Seemed like a date situation.
While we are waiting a cat ran out from under the bus. To this I said: "One got away." The man started laughing at this comment. The woman looked visibly angry. I am not sure if she was more mad at me for making the comment, or mad at her date for laughing about the comment. Sorry dude. Hopefully she could look past that.
Actual picture of the bus, plus a cat I added:
2 -
I think some of my co-workers see me as real life human version of Google search engine.
Hope they would understand that just because I'm little bit more up to date in tech knowledge and an accidental Google nerd doesn't make me a know it all..
But i understand their tendency to trust my recommendation over their googling skills
They want me to find
1- best freelancing website
2- best platform or service for someone who wants to do online teaching
Results that I'm aware of:
1- freelancer, guru, upwork
2- YouTube, udemy, Pluralsight, skillshare, thinkific
Any other recommendations?2 -
Hey guys, this is my first rant. I like this friendly community very much so far and hope it stays that way. So here it goes...
I have this Trello app on my Android phone. It has this nice feature - calendar... But week starts on Sunday. So I started investigating, how I could change it to Monday. Googled and found that you have to change the language, which I did. Now I wish I had this nice ISO date format yyyy-MM-dd, but this motherfrakker doesn't allow me to!
How much I hate this little piece of shit! What does he want from me? Download the sources, add the functionality, compile for a week and flash it into my Xiaomi?!13 -
I think I may have officially gotten myself fired before I even started a new job. My salaried start date was supposed to be Jan 3 but they hired me to do spot work at my hourly rate until then. My server side PHP skills were never great but they appear to be completely inadequate to the task of patching their undocumented, spaghetti legacy code. I just sent a note basically saying I either need to convert their entire site to something else 3 weeks ahead of the timeframe we planned or to basically outsource my work to another developer to patch this code. Feeling like a total imposter at the moment. I wouldn't hire me.4
-
*So I have a function where the date is formatted as 20180317 and get returned if I pass a date to it.*
Junior Dev: I'm selecting March as a month but it's showing 20180217 and not 20180317, what should I do?
Me: I've written function for formatting date just go there and there will be date.getMonth() just add 1 to it by doing +1.
Junior Dev: It's still not working!!!.
So I went there and checked what she did, and she did this .....
date.getMonth(+1);2 -
If any of you have been following my last few rants, you'll know I've been working on a project with a particularly difficult client, trying to meet wholly unrealistic deadlines with only one other developer.
The situation has reached the climax. The client had a call with our project manager and boss on Monday to discuss things. Despite them still not having paid a single bill since October, they've demanded the release date be moved to the 6th April. Apparently we'd agreed to release on this date, despite making no such promises, the (optimistic) deadline we were working towards has always been, since it was set about 2 weeks ago, the 16th April.
Apparently AWS migration won't take as long as we think it will, because the designers that do the CSS for this project say so, despite knowing nothing about the architecture of the requirements of the system once live (like if backups are required and what of).
The bottom line is that client is ending development with us the day after the project goes live to give it to their own in-house team. If they want us to work more after the date, they have to buy blocks of days.
To make things better, a large part of new functionality relies on an external API we can't even begin to do learning tests with, let alone integrate due to back-office errors on their end. They've had since Friday to give us our token, yet here we are.
Something tells me my holidays booked for for the first week of April are going by the wayside.4 -
I had a technical test on Tuesday on Linux and SQL. I thought I failed. I get a call that I did pretty well and now they want me for an interview. Naturally, I get very excited.
I get a date for the interview and get ready to shine... until I accept the video call and find out that it is a technical interview! But this time instead I have to express myself in a foreign language.
(And also not with the people I was supposed to have the interview with)
No worse way to stress someone XYZ company! Totally uncool!!!
I think now I can go in a shadowy corner and whimper.9 -
We take over development of a live customer facing system and PM agrees date for our first code deployment with client CIO
Me: The dev and staging environments don't have any test data currently as the old agency screwed it up
PM: Well you better load some
Me: There isn't any... It'll take 10 days to copy prod db due to hosting provider SLAs, leaving 1 week for SIT, UAT and performance testing (assuming they don't screw up)
PM: Well the date is set, 1 week will be enough for testing2 -
Ubuntu 17.10...
WORST UBUNTU RELEASE TO DATE!
Why oh why did they go with /swapfile by default? I was legacy booting with UEFI enabled and it still didn't work! And don't get me started on nouveau (Nvidia OSS).
When I click "use proprietary software" I want the OS to do everything in its power to just work. Disable 3D acceleration if you must - at least boot to a console.
I'm scared to try it on my main desktop now!
I switched to Linux Mint and I'm happy now, I just needed an instant OS that works. 😊8 -
> be me
> straight dude, 7/10
> discover devRant
> there’s that one girl with damn sexy thighs
> decide to ask her out
> she gives me her telegram
> she’s taken but has free relationship
> feelsgoodman.png
> she agrees to go on a date
> met her
> we have a little chitchat about CSS and decide to find a room
> gonna go balls deep bro
> pull her leggings down
> …
12 -
First month at the new job and it's alright. Fine. Totally O-K. And you know what? I'm happy with that. Like, happy-in-general happy. Yikes! I've got a good routine going where I actually do stuff that matter to me and I can also see some opportunities on the horizon; a bit like a Choose Your Own Adventure kind of thing. I've also got this thing - a date? - planned with someone I bumped into while running an errand. What the fuck is happening... 😅✌️1
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Can anyone tell me what all things a developer should follow in order to be upto date. It's just too long of a thing.
I have been a back end developer, became a big data developer, then moving to becoming a full stack developer. Now I don't know who I am anymore. -
I hate complicated and out of date documentation!!!
if (me == angryClickityClackity) {
headButtKeyboard = True;
}else{
headButtKeyboard = false;
}15 -
Due to resource scarcity, my manager Bob had lent me to other manager John. I started working on John's project and now there is a hardcore dependency on me, as I have done good enough work on it. I was also taking some small work items from Bob parallely so I can be up-to-date with my own team, Later Bob calls me and says he wants me back, since my own team has lot of pending tasks. John's project is still unfinished and will take longer then ever. So far, I am dividing my time between the two teams.
My concern is if I pass on John's project, will I even get recognized for it and since John will have no one concrete to work on his project, he will later keep bugging me for help.
And I feel like I don't belong to either of the teams (I am like a step son to both my parents) 😔1 -
On a project that will crash and burn due to a badly projected date given to the business. I'm team lead and the Developement manager. I'm not sure how to save my career from this one. 22 years at this company and this may end my employment.
Can't change the date because the business has had it with deployment failures. Not enough time to do any of the technical debt and I'm not sure one if the issues has a solution.
Time to create a resume I guess. Been a really long time.
Let me know if you want a developer in Des Moines!2 -
Stayed up coding all night to make sure things worked nicely. An hour before I left work yesterday, received 5 other never spoken off tasks.
none of the communication went directly by me, I just had to hear out the nonsense, but did a complete integration half a year ago
managed to do 3,8 of those task after working out and finishing the first set. became 5am.
might be because I went mental and have synced up 2repo's with idem dito codebase to be up to date to eachother (don't ask me why this is setup this way, I don't get half of their logic, hence why it doesn't work until I silently patch stuff out)
overslept by an hour.. yay me.
inb4 being fired
(no time for a capitalisation and spellcheck on this rant either, 9.30am now, tired af)3 -
What's a good hobby project for learning React Native? I come from MEAN and C#/Java.
Just realized I haven't done much coding outside of work recently.... need to get more up to date.
Also correct me if I'm rwrong but it's like Cordova and Electron right? Code is JS and CSS, run everywhere as a native app?2 -
The one that got me to my current employment. I was working as a sysadmin and was trying to switch to dev. I'd tried one interview in another company and failed it miserably. I was soooo nervous I was literally shaking. And I think I failed every possible dev question. Ffs I couldn't even remember how to swap 2 variables! Yes, I was THAT nervous. Bcz I needed that spot so much.
After that I decided to cool down for a few weeks. Then my current employer's hr reached out and asked to come over. I did. We had a chat with HR and they told me I'll be asked to do a homework task. Surely I was okay with it! They sent me the task via email, but smth [I don't recall what] happened at my sysadmin work and I was extremely short on time. I missed the homework due date ofc. A few days later they reached out to me and gave me another week. I missed that too. Again I got a call from them and I was asked what was the problem. I explained I don't have time atm and mentioned that it might be better to skip this oppurtunity for me. That it might be bettet for them to hire someone else.
To my surprise they did not back off. They kept talking, one thing led to another and somehow they made me commit to arrive to their office to do the homework task.
I was startled. I would have bailed on me if I were them... They didn't..
They didn't give up on me
they are amazing4 -
- Hey darlin, how about u n me go out for coffee on 2021-02-19?
- Hey lovely. I got an event from 2021-02-19T05:45:00Z to 2021-02-19T07:15:00Z. How about we meet at 2021-02-20T04:00:00Z?
- Perfect, there's a movie at 2021-02-20T06:10:00Z
- It's a date then3 -
School's principle: *is being unclear of what is asked*
Me: *asks lots of questions to try to understand*
SP: *keeps being unclear*
Me: *think I understand, I'll do something that will match with what I'm supposed to do*
-- 2 days before due date --
SP: omg stop it's not that at all
Me: wait wtf you told me that 3 months ago
SP: yOu uNdersdtoOd wHat yOu WaNtEd, tHat'S a ProBlEm yOu rEaLLy nEed To fiX
HOW ABOUT YOU GO AND DIE SOMEWHERE YOU SON OF A BITCH
Now I have until monday to write 30 fucking pages of something that keeps making no fucking sense. FUCK !2 -
Why they are keep assigning tasks (new features as minor fix) till release date. And want me to complete it a week before release date.
HOW?2 -
Background: Process issue in the plant that the workers said was a software problem. I’m a Software Dev Manager
Exec: This is broken and it is a software problem. We just noticed it this week.
Me: Couldn’t have been us, relevant code was changed this time last year. Sounds like a process issue.
Exec: Can you give me an exact date it was changed last year?
Me: (Seriously, WTF?... checks git...) It was changed on December 2nd, 2016. Couldn’t have been us.
Exec: Can you detail that change for us?
Me: (GTFO) No, not my problem, stop trying to make it my problem.1 -
hey, y'all android users listen up. i wanna start a new project but im not sure if it's gonna be useful. essentially, i want to make a scripting language to program people's phone, so devs or android super users can make the most of their phone. users will be able to create, share, and schedule execution of the scripts all from the app. is it a good idea? is their something like it?
example of a use i personally would have: there is a set date for when the soccer league schedule for the youth league i play in is supposed to be released online. however, the set date is never met, and it is usually a few days late. in this case, i could make a script to request to the website with the schedule and see if the html changed from last time, and if so it would send me a notif saying "check for schedule" or something similar.
then, i could schedule it to run every five minutes, and i wouldnt have to check manually.
its essentially bash automation for your phone.
good idea?8 -
My monday started with boss calling me at 0730 asking if I could do a support-mission at the offices of the local landfill - this because 2 of the support people had called in sick and we where short on manpower. RIGHT! I said, with a sense of dread and disbelief. ended up spending much of the day there. fixing everything from default reader of pdf to calibration of mouse sensitivity.
It's not like I need to code or anything, since I am working on two different projects and in competition of a third. Finally came back to the office after been at the landfill until lunch and got another support mission; this time internal mission. namely write out from our companys database and import the data to an absolute atrocity called PowerBI so our accountant get the numbers......... FINE!!! I'll do that too, but dont come to me and cry when the project delivery date gets postponed into eternity!!!3 -
I don't understand why twitter gives itself so much importance!?
I created some years ago with the wrong date of birth, now when I changed the date of birth to match the real one, they effing locked me out!
It took them around 4 weeks to send me a mail to restart my account.
Chill little bird, why so serious?2 -
(Fyi: I was an intern.)
It took me hours of time to recognize, that one of the necessary tables just used an oracleDB Date as a timestamp, which lead to a violation of the primary key constraint on interactions taken place in less than one second.
Me: (explaining the problem to CW)
CW: "Yup, we know."
Me: ...2 -
As I'm seriously considering sending the guy I went on a date with recently who subsequently pissed me off the Telugu character, iOS 11.2.6 is released. 😞2
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Just got an email from HR asking everyone to put in leave for Christmas by TODAY.
Christmas is like a month away...
Before this email, there is no similar announcement whatsoever informing we have to put in leave by certain date.
It's lucky I checked my email (because I basically ignore it unless someone comes and tells me he's gonna send me something through it). It's luckier I got my Christmas plan sorted.
But... What if I'm still figuring out what to do for Christmas? Is this reasonable?4 -
I used to have time to read up on new web development tools and techniques and it helped me get a better job.
Now I have a better job I'm always busy, which I love, but it's harder to keep up to date.
I do some reading in my own time but it's more difficult to focus.
Thinking about it, I suppose I do keep learning just by being at work and solving new problems.1 -
fuck javascript
took me an hour, but I finally figured out why the date was so wack
can you?
admittedly not strong in js, cuz I hate it
7 -
Client: "According to the Postgresql Version Support Policy, 9.3 will be expired by September 2018. That's only a few months away."
Me in thought: "Expired? Like a rotten egg? With an expiration date? OK, chill. His English isn't that good. Maybe he meant that support expires since its EOL."
Client: "We need to upgrade so that we can continue using the database."
Me in thought: "Yeah, he really meant "expired" in database too."4 -
I'm not sure if it is a dev experience, but definitely boosted my morale.
In 2014, my company (in India) sent me to attend a conference in Boston. The conference was about big data.
When I came back, I wrote a blog post about Apache Spark in my company's blog. Because of the blog, my name got mentioned in a prominent newspaper's article about Apache Spark.
PS: That is my only blog post till date -
My boss asked me and another one to make a webapp that uses socket.io as "api".
There are 2 client apps (one in ionic+react the other one just react) and the server code (nodeJS)
Now he started working on it too but he has no experience of nodeJS and no experience whatsoever on react and only heard of ionic.
on his first deploy nothing connected anymore.
But i gotta say I appreciate the fact he's trying to keep himself up to date with technologies we're using4 -
I remember a recruiter reaching out to me after I applied to a company and we set up a phone interview. When the date arrived, she did not call. I emailed her a few days later and she did not reply. A few weeks later she contacted me again, and since I hadn't secured a job yet, I decided to give it another shot and we set up another phone interview. Guess what? She didn't call. Second strike was too much for me, so when she emailed about a couple of weeks later to know if I was still interested, I did not even bother to reply.1
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I recently went to an office to open up a demat account
Manager: so your login and password will be sent to you and then once you login you'll be prompted to change the password
Me: *that's a good idea except that you're sending me the password which could be intercepted* ok
Manager: you'll also be asked to set a security question...
Me: *good step*
Manager: ...which you'll need to answer every time you want to login
Me: *lol what? Maybe that's good but kinda seems unnecessary. Instead you guys could have added two factor authentication* cool
Manager: after every month you'll have to change your password
Me : *nice* that's good
Manager: so what you can do change the password to something and then change it back to what it was. Also to remember it keep it something on your number or some date
Me: what? But why? If you suggest users to change it back to what it was then what is the point of making them change the password in the first place?
Manager: it's so that you don't have to remember so many different passwords
Me: but you don't even need to remember passwords, you can just use softwares like Kaspersky key manager where you can generate a password and use it. Also it's a bad practice if you suggest people who come here to open an account with such methods.
Manager: nothing happens, I'm myself doing that since past several years.
Me: *what a fucking buffoon* no, sir. Trust me that way it gets much easier to get access to your system/account. Also you shouldn't keep your passwords written down like that (there were some password written down on their whiteboard)
Manager: ....ok...so yeah you need sign on these papers and you'll be done
Me:(looking at his face...) Umm..ok4 -
I don’t know why it annoys me so much but writing the date the wrong way is fucking ridiculous America! It’s Day fucking month fucking Year imbeciles!10
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#storytime
Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...
CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:
Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.
Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.
Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...
Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).
CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..
CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..
Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....
Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..
CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.
Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.
Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...1 -
Let's pick a datepicker for the project. Me: jquery-ui ? Supervisor: No something better.
Jquery-ui: any css selector, standard date format masks (dd/mm/yyyy or mm-dd-yyyy....), Opens if the field is access using Tab key
Something better: only Id selector, custom date format mask ( %d/%m/%Y ...), Tab does not work -
So I'm at work most of the day developing project managment system for better efficiency but I can't seem to keep my electricity bill up to date. Now I'm looking forward to some free time because I got disconected and everything is closed when I'm home from work. Even when I do manage to get off on time my boss needs me on evenings and weekends.
Now it's just NO BITCH, i ain't got NO POWER!!! ^^ yeah!3 -
Another tale of the legacy app, so I'm redoing the user roles using the cancancan gem.
Hop into a meeting to go over why I'm re-doing the authorisation, currently, the app is using the rails-authorization-plugin, yes from Rails 2.0.
me: *explains why this is the way to do it*
other dev: "Can we just fix the custom code we have added in that plugin?"
me: "Well given that it's a massively out of date plugin and we have a ton of deprecations, probably not"
other dev: "so let's try and fix it"
Christ, why are we still clinging onto 10+-year-old plugins if were going to keep getting errors when we upgrade?27 -
FUCK ASUS FUCK service centers
Fuck Asus. My laptop charger was not working and I called them. These fucking people asked me to get my warranty approved because according to thier database they only have manufacturing date. So they said send us the invoice and we will update it So they wanted me to wait 5 days to get an entry updated in their database. 😑😑 After this shit. I have to wait 7 days for a new charger. These people and Thier service it's shit shit shit4 -
Javascript makes me wanna blow my fucking brains out.
Why the fuck isn't appendChild working? It shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a simple result.
p = document.createElement("p");
p.textContent = String(new Date().getTime());
doc = document.getElementById("todoList")
doc.appendChild(p);
Done from within a listener function for another element, listening for onkeyup. Using bulma.
Jesus fucking christ and this is the profession I chose.
At this rate by the time I'm fucking competent I'll be replaced by wage slaves from india who started training at the age of ten because their government actually gives a shit about investing in their people instead of saddling new generations with trillions in bank debt so goldman fucking sachs can hire more underage prostitutes from epstein and mossad.23 -
Commit messages:
1- Defect 6380: fix update of user without end date
2- Defect 6380: fix update of user without end date 2
3- Defect 6380: forgot unit test
4- Defect 6380: fix test
5- Defect 6380: dammit!
6- Defect 6380: raaaaaah!!!!
7- Defect 6380: kill me now -
Me, working hard on a SQL project with a deadline that is half what it should be with no support from the other people on the project and was mostly made with with data I imagined would be in there cos no one could get me any fucking shit done (i.e. effectively designed, built, tested, fixed, upgraded, documented on my own for an entire weekly/monthly/ad-hoc analysis process that would output various reports for internal/external/management)
Manager - man who is a known waste of space but for some reason is in charge of the smallest part of the project, shouldn't have been fucking involved fucking management guzzling stain magnet...
Manager: Hey, do I need to refresh the database?
Me: .................
Me: .................
Me: ............I dunno, do you think we should refresh the database that this entire project is reliant? I mean...why do we need up to date transactions to analyse? Wait....you telling me it's not been being refreshed this ENTIRE time?
Manager: No....you never said I should. So should I?
Me: ..................I never said you should!?!? Are you not in the meetings talking about dependencies?????? Do you think i should have up to date trans or just run this with old stuff????? Why would you not update it!??!!?!?!? Its transactions...... (Desperately trying not to punch through my screen, through his, into his throat)
Manager: ..............
Me: .................
Manager: I think i'll refresh it and add it to the job?
Me: ....................(goes back to work cursing with music in so I think its quiet but who knows).
Tard, don't know how he even gets to work without someone holding his fucking hand.
Happy ending, I don't work there anymore :p
Sad ending, his spirit of tard follows me to my new jobs and possesses someone (or three sometimes) -
A lot of things happened. Life has changed and forced me to leave social media for some months (including devRant).
I became a happier person. I learned how to handle stressful situations and improved my social skills. Started to not give a fuck about people and realised that I get girls' attention without me putting effort.
Some girls began to initiate conversations which I found odd because I wasn't used to it.
I went camping with some bros last week, we met girls and I have a date next week.
I still can't understand how I am attracting so many girls. I barely changed from the outside appearance.
In short: Life is going great which is ironic due to the corona virus.6 -
I fucking hate the person that created the ionic timepicker its such a fucking mess if you want to do anything advanced and it's so poorly documented that most of the time you just have to guess what you should do. Best part: this fucking component doesn't even use a Date Object it uses A FUCKING STRING that it parses, so I have to parse, unparse, parse, unparse. Who in their right mind thought this would be a good idea?!
What frustrated me the most was when I tried to use their min, max functionality. I used the component as a timepicker, so I ignored most of the Date Object and just initliazed them at 0. Afterwards set the hr, min, sec and did the same for the max value. Doesn't work... It just bugs out and I can only pick midnight of that day... Okay. I kid you not: tried for two hours to fix this shit. Console logged the crap out of that thing. Everything seemed right. Out of frustration I then just initlialized the max value like normal, so the date is the current date. AND SUDDENLY IT FUCKING WORKED. WHY?! FUCKING NOBODY KNOWS. WHO, WHY, WHAT?! -
So I work in a startup as an intern. My tasks are usually done before deadlines. These folks pay me at my due date after reviewing my work. This month again I have completed my task, so I asked for new work. These people are waiting for my pay day. Just a few days before my pay day they will surely give me a task and question me why I haven't completed it on time. Fucking annoying...3
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Let me tell you a short story. Back in 2016 I resigned my job and started working in my current company 1.10.2016.
One year later in 2017 I got a loan approved on the same date 1.10.2017.
Going forward to today, I resigned my current job moving on and the date when I'm starting the new job is also 1.10. and to make more interesting the load is ending on the same date. I was already thinking about that date and the coincidence and remembered that my wife's birthday is on the SAME date, now I'm afraid and have a feeling that something else will happen hahah
What do you think am I just overthinking or? :D5 -
Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"
Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"
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I just came with a problem trying to get the value of an HTML input of type date and trying to throw it into a Javascript Date object... After about an hour of searching (Google, Stackoverflow) I realized HTML5 date inputs use UTC timezone (defined by W3C) and Javascript uses your local timezone and this difference is messing with my code giving me a JS obvject 1 day before the HTML date...
Why they do this kind of thing?1 -
Well, wasn't my mom, but once, i was in the house of the nanny of a girl i used to date..
I've told her that Im a developer and The nanny already got it like : "ok you know about cumputer and stuff related"..
So..the internet connection was shitty as fuck
She asked me to repair the internet,
I told her I didn´t know anything about network, but.. she insisted.
I said that she better call their internet company and they would explain what is the situation there..
She told me that It was unnecesary, and insisted again..
(We wera talking in the bedroom)
So i left the bedroom, then I went to fucking internet modem, unplug the power cable, then plugin it again..
The internet was still shitty, BUT, she had a placebo effect about the speed.. she was so happy with me and she started saying that I was smart.. (I wanted to kill myself)
we stop dating ..1 -
Genuinely asking some rare pokemon php developers that are up to date with the tech (all php devs I know stopped learning when my grandpa was like 5 years old) to show me php code that is not spaghetti bolognese. I am asking this as I am yet to witness such code for the first time in my life (and I am coding since 94')!13
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A remote team decided to annoy me by trying to hold me accountable to their project plan timelines while not delivering a viable API. So, I code reviewed them.
NOT ONE FUCKING TEST! They are "meeting the date" and will "fix it later".
They beat me to production though.
No wonder they argued that a complicated, fragile, expensive, multi-product flow test was absolutely required.
I returned the escalation favor. -
//Week 33 - Worst Part
$worst = "";
$worst .= "Not knowing the project start date";
$worst .= "Not knowing the deadline";
$worst .= "Not getting the design and sitemap on time";
$worst .= "Teaching juniors developers coding where as they have Degree in Computer Science and me didn't went to college";
$worst .= "After junior developers learn coding, they move to another big company for more pay then me";
//Week 33 - Best Part
$best = "";
$best .= "I learnt a lot last year";
$best .= "I also learnt how to motivate myself for side projects (Not Working)";
$best .= "I learnt how to put myself upto challenge on any development work";
$best .= "I don't have yell at my General Manager or Project Manager because I got devRant now (Fuck Them)"; -
So there is this website called 100daysofrunning.in one of the worst design seen ever. They've a submit page which is another app that opens in an iframe.
If you're part of challenge, everyday you've to submit a form. Distance, time, Strava link, date and it's a pain to do so every day.
On the 50th day they restricted the date to7 days, so you cannot post data older then 7 days.
Being a programmer it would have been insult had i entered data manually.
Thanks to casperjs, meteorjs i was able to automate fetch from strava and post on this dumb page.
One day due an error, the script failed and I've missed one day of data entry. That's 2km of running gone invain and I'm out of the challenge.
Programming has mad me lazy. Screw programming. I should've been a dumb idiot to manually add data spending fkin 30 mins, atleast life would be simple. -
So, I recently applied for a graduate position at a company. They will wanted me to complete an online test for them and successful completed it.
I then had the option of choosing a time and date for a phone interview, so I did so.
The day of the phone interview came and went, and no one called. I emailed asking what happened? But the only reply I had back was the same template email I had before. It seems like they're asking me to book another time again, however, there aren't any free slots for now 2 weeks.
I am now quite annoyed with how the process has gone, and now unsure if I should even bother with them. Will they just forget to call again?2 -
The feels when your senior developer is telling you that you don't need a debug version of your application that is kept up to date for you to work on.
The feels when he then tells you that you should find the problem in the code it, fix it and commit, and wait for someone else to run it and see if it works. And if not, repeat.
My senior developer wants me to blind commit fixes without even checking if they do shit.
Pinch me please.1 -
Client: $importantThing is a go live feature now.
Me: Okay, but it would considerably postpone the release date.
Client: Oh well, then maybe after release. However, do $lessImportantThing for go live, no matter how long it takes. -
Is it just me, or is it the worst possible time to jump into coding for Apple products?
I remember trying to figure out Xcode a few years back and making some small bit of headway. More recently it seems that all the old tutorials in Objective-C are out-of-date, and half the Swift ones won't compile because of mutually incompatible versions...1 -
Was supposed to be studying for a test today at 1am (it's in a few hours). Instead starts writing the date in binary, hexadecimal and octal (and then decimal). Go me, watch me fail that test LoL
PS: those dry erase pens were the best thing I could ever buy. I love writing on my windows -
Well this is epic... The GitHub acquisition is so big, my dad just emailed an article to me about it...
He's a Dev but he's not usually up to date on tech news...
I'm sorta confused, I see a lot of about in Algo about this but didn't we know already like 2 days ago? -
i got put in this stupid intro to computer class and it's so fucking pointless. the teacher is clueless and 29 years out of date in information, all we do is fuck around with windows and everyone acts like wow it's so amazing despite being the most basic features. this damn teacher assigns home work too and i use linux at one, NONE of my computers at home have windows and i have no intention of using either windows or os x . this teacher knows that i'm very proficient with computers and treats me like an assistant, while that's cool and all it's not within my interests. this class period is a literal waste of my time.2
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Fucking hell. So, I had an interview with market research company and in said interview I got told to bring my passport to my first shift training and it was ok if it was 5 years out of date. Additional info, they were supposed to call us on Thursday to book said shift and send us an email with a information pack. They never did.
Ok, day of shift comes along. After I booked it because no one fucking bothered to call any of us. Email never arrived but whatever. I go to the place and bring my 3 years out of date polish passport... Big fucking mistake. They don't seem to like polish passport seeing as how it's only the British ones that get the out of date is okay thing. So I'm sitting there still calm because sure, company policy, they have to do it. The training guy was nice and all, offered to get me to their office to speak to them about it. I accept and off we go.
At the office, I basically get the information that it's only British passports that get it and I basically can't use anything else as proof of ID, which is funny seeing as I have a polish identity card that I can leave and enter the country on within the EU. I suppose I'm going to try looking for a job that doesn't require passports for now and if I find a good one then they can go get fucked by a bull for all I care.
In conclusion, I get to wait till I'm 18 (thankfully only a month) to apply for a new passport in the local polish consulate. Brilliant. All thanks to some cunt that decided they require fucking passports with such beautiful (note the sarcasm) rules. The fucktards.
Hoping the apocalypse comes early for these cocksuckers,
BadFox -
wanted to write my own JavaScript base calendar date picker instead of using the jquery one. really hate the idea of requiring jquery in my compiled script just for the calendar.
but the thought of mobile respobsifying the calendar UI kills me.... then there's cross browser support 😫3 -
Form plugin for WordPress on a seriously out of date install won't update until I update WordPress core. Fine, I update core and update the plugin and test the forms again. Form still isn't sending emails on submission. Look into forms settings. Oh look error messages, awesome!
Message: "There are 2 configuration errors"
OK, what are the errors where are the errors?
"There are two configuration errors."
Gee that's really fucking helpful, why even tell me you can see the errors if you aren't going to fucking tell me where the blasted things are. Spend 4 fucking hours trying to figure this out, checking "docs" wiki, support forums, nothing.
Finally decided to just trash the client's form plugin they were using and installed my reliable Gravity Forms.
P.S. if you are going to write code to find errors, and tell me about them, then you had better fucking tell me what the goddamned error is. There is no need to waste a developer's time trying to debug your shitty plugin because you couldn't be bothered to write a useful error handler. -
These fucking deepshet, spoiled retards
they expert me to build software not from the ground but from the fucking foundation up to release date all by myself
they also expert me to do all required research
also expert me to do the fucking marketing
they expert me to bring new fucking business
They expert me to work at High performance
They expert me to do stock inventory as well
They fucking sit me in shity meetings
WHAT THA FUCK IS THIS SHIT1 -
Don't you just love those people who sell projects which require months and months of hard work with a due date of two whole fucking months?! And worst of all, they act all fucking surprised when the project is not finished on time and it contains loads of bugs because of lack of testing time. Drives me insane..
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I am in jvm hell. I have been given a task to add mockito tests. All the existing documentation concerning junit 4 is out of date. Need to use junit 5. All mockito tutorials are out of date. I thought mockito was stupid before junit 5. Now it is “really” stupid. The tutorials I am reading are shit. We have wandered into bleeding edge fucktardness. Kill me now.17
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Seriously Pope Gregory you couldn't make a more consistent calendar? We have extra days why does February have 28 still. Making my calendars program repeat events infinitely more complicated. (Do not get me started on date format inconsistencies). Thats it I'm staying single getting too afraid of the word 'date'.2
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Microsoft, please stop the incomprehensible work vs. school account stuff and if you want to mail me a login code, then please actually do send an email. What's wrong with Microsoft Teams and office always giving its users headaches already when trying to log in?
A customer sent me a "FindTime" link, something like Calendso / Calendly, but "powered" by Microsoft Office. Seems that their power is off again, like ever so often. Microsoft: "can't access your account: You can't sign in here with a personal account. Use your work or school account instead."
Okay, go to bing, and search your error message. Try to use bing page to log in to my account: Microsoft: "We emailed a code." (No you didn't. At least I never received anything. And, yes, I did check my spam folder!) Microsoft: "Other ways to sign in: use Microsoft Authenticator".
me: "dear customer, please feel free to pick any time and date that matches your preference, as the FindTime link has been impossible to use".
How can Microsoft make me feel so dumb again, after more than 20 years as a developer? Have they ever heard about usability?10 -
Could you guys suggest some really good blogs based on Technology and Programming that will keep me up to date with those 2 worlds.
Thank You.4 -
So I had to do a school presentation of a book. I was assigned with a classmate who I asked when we are going to do it. She answered with the next sunday. Presentation date was the monday afterwards. Which is kinda fine. But in the end she couldnt make it for whatever weird reason she gave me. So i sit a whole afternoon creating this presentation. Good thing was, that the teacher gave me a bettergrade, because I did everything.
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Sometimes after a long day the simplest of bugs is very difficult. Took me 10 minutes to figure out why my method to assign colours to users wasn't working.
addEvent({
name: userColour(something.name),
date: something.startDate,
color: 'yellow'
}); -
Was fixing this time date issue on the servers and forgot how to. Ran $ man date
If I was still single, I'd cry. And if I get divorced, I would not know how to get into the game at all. I just hope the next time I run this would definitely help me get my life together, or fix this time drift properly. -
I don't know maybe it's me. I'm sure that at booking.com they have hundred of GUI/UX/UI experts, product owners, A/B testing and whatever.
So, please, can you explain to me in a professional and scientific why, why the fuck, when I search for an hotel in a place for a date, by default, they show me UNAVAILABLE properties?
Like, "hey sorry, there was this great hotel, right in the center and very cheap, but you missed it!! hahahaha, you poor moron"
And every time I have to ACTIVATE the fucking filter myself "only show available properties".
Excuse me? Who want to see in first position the hotels that are NOT available?
Are there some users out there who wants that? If I were hired at booking.com as Product Owner or UX/UI expert, I think the first thing I'll propose is to quit the fucking filter whatsoever or at least to enable it by design.
So why is that? you want to show off? slap me in the face, with your hard cock-list of hotels you have anyway, but not for me?4 -
What's a good website to get tech news and help me stay up to date? I'm interning for a company and most times I get lost when they start discussing new tech I've never even heard about.9
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Am I the only one to this date who still doesn't feel comfortable using the NumPad? I always have the NumLock key turned off and people who borrow my computer get annoyed by that. I've always typed numbers using the row above the letters. Typing numbers on the NumPad is very slow and unnatural to me. Is someone else out there feeling the same?4
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So if you recall, my last rant was about last minute, supposed critical-severity, ASAP due date requests being made, and me telling them to fuck off.
So today the boss' boss' boss called down and said a different task needs to be done by end of the month.
So now my current tasks get pushed to next month, and the person who needed their task done ASAP will now more than likely get it by mid june. Amazing.
And if you've been actively following my other rants, this is the same section manager that sends a quirky email out at the end of every night about what she's been fucking with lately.
I WANT OFF MR TOAD'S WILD RIDE -
Ahhhh! some days I get that burnt out feeling when working on some projects and it just leads me to push the project off to a later date. This only happens with personal projects I have no trouble with school projects. I think I should create due dates for projects to keep myself on track or even create a routine that has specific time just for those projects.
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I was signing up for a new account on Magic. I wasn't paying attention so I accidentally didn't change my date of birth, so it didn't let me create an account because they thought I was just born today. I changed that field but nope, it remembered I had told it I was 1 day old and it didn't let me change my mind. Delete cookies, nothing. Reload page, nothing. So I go into Postman and re-create the request and BOOM! I even got an access token for their API. This is why I love being a dev.
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I was talking to a few people at my school while playing with the Chrome dev shell, one of them told me to trace the path for Pornhub, after a bit I learned that the bottom IP was from Amazon Tech. After some more interesting searches I found out the Amazon placed a 3.4 billion bid to buy Pornhub.
I found this interesting to say the least.
(I don't know when this happened, I couldn't find a date)2 -
$today = date(‘m/d/y’);
$cryptoWallet = new cryptoWallet($today);
$XYZ = new cryptoCurrency($today);
while (empty($cryptoWallet)) {
Everyone: “Now is the time to buy $XYZ!!”
Me: *Researches and almost buys $XYZ*
Everyone: “TOO LATE! YOU WAITED TOO LONG, SUCKER! WE WENT ALL THE WAY UP AND YOU. LOST. OUT.”
}1 -
!dev
My date cancelled today because of not feeling well, we are gonna meet up (maybe) in the next few days. That totally not made me feel insecure in any way nononono.....2 -
What the crap? Get this, I'm setting the timezone to UTC in PHP. All find and dandy, only that it gives me the wrong FUCKING date and time, like what is wrong with you xD I changed nothing since yesterday and yesterday it gave me the correct time xD2
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I want to ask if your project manager assigns a task and ask how much time it will take to complete it which is particularly a new stuff, how you guys give a tentative date. It's freaking impossible for me to tell.3
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so I'm the new guy now, my new team write complicated, deep-for-no-reason IFs instead of a switch, gave me a shitload of resources to get up to date with their standards, insisted to every time make sure my code has been tested, then the first deployment I see THEM do breaks production, because a major fucking app had no tests whatsoever, also half of the team has 30+ years of experience in backend, laughs about TS on the server (which is actually fair) and I'm the frontend guy
challenge accepted4 -
*sigh*, doing my best to get multiple streams of income while avoiding burnout, but still broke because the streams are paying late all at once and they can't give a solid date of when they can compensate me.
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Ok ok ok. I see y'all have nice plans for the new year. Some of you even made a list that will be barely completed or remain unchecked.
Let me tell you my real issues/plans for 2020.
- First things first, I have to update the documentation of the projects that I maintain. Especially the copyright information. (2019 -> 2020)
- I have to check if any of the old software that I use is broken because of the year/date bugs. (you know, that happens)
- And finally I should check my Windows PC. If it's still OK than it means that no malware/virus is activated with a year payload. (it happens too, watch @danooct1 on YT)
Hope it helps someone.1 -
Why recruiters are sometimes taking so long to answer? I did my final stage of interview with the companie's client (out of 4 stages in total) last Thursday.
Client came back with positive feedback at Monday at the end of workday. Today is Tuesday and internal recruiter was supposed to call me to make an offer and discuss starting date.
Now again workday is nearly over and no contact from her. Tomorrow is a national holiday so she will get back to me at best on Thursday.
Goddamnit why it takes so long, if Im starting next Monday I need to prepare myself. Im seriously getting second thoughts such as even about declining the offer if they will try to lowball me. Previous week they really rushed the process and I had to do 4 stages of interviews and this week they are wasting my time. Am I being impatient or what?2 -
!rant
Can anyone point me to some resources about scheduling/planning problems and in general date manipulation in Amswer Set Programming (clingo)? -
demotivated, opened some hacking/programming music on youtube to get me in the mood.
why hacking music? well whatever file you open you have tons of "smart hacks" to fix, as all bugs up to date since I'm here were just fixing brilliant h4xx0r ideas from developers that worked here before.
Maybe I should try to search for unhacking music instead!2 -
So int and datetime are not nullable in c#, so you cant assign null to them
While you can't compare int to null (int a; a==null won't compile) you can do it with datetime objects.
Microsoft, can you please get your shit together?
Took me like an hour to realize my date is actually the 1.1.0001 and not null.1 -
Timecalculations and Datetime manipulation from UTC to locale where locale can be anything are by itself annoying but Javas Date and Calendar APIs always make me feel like "Seriously?! Fuck you! What do you want from me?! "
Argh....
Wasting so much time right now to get a fairly easy app built as showcase for new customers and continue with my life!2 -
How come am I doing better at getting women to getting web contract to keep the money flow.
And why the fuck do every fucker I meet "want to date me."1 -
#Suphle Rant 5: Xavi
When I first detailed what it was I was working on to my brother and its expected impact on the industry, I must have done so with an enormous amount of enthusiasm that he impatiently began to request when the dream will be realised. He didn't give a shit about specifics of where I was on the timeline. He kept repeating the same question. Exasperated with the futility of my explanations, I replied that I'd be done by November as this was far beyond my estimated completion date
Every milestone (e.g. my birthday) I've expected it to be ready at has come and gone, including the unrealistic November. My present state of mind is far from the optimistic pioneer I was then. I'm just going with the flow and won't be surprised if it's not officially released by the end of the year
This gonna be me in 2072, convincing anyone who cares to listen that I'm fleshing out the docs and that the reason the release date keeps getting pushed back is because nobody has shown interest in either using or contributing to it
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Hi, guys!
Maybe some of you can help me with React?
So I'm still learning React SM to make mini projects for practice and this is for project daily expenses and the mockup is attached. So, if i want to add an item, i want to match it with the current date and compare it with the last entry date, I'm confused here how to make the function.
1
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