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Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"6 -
A few years ago, i got a call which went like this:
Phone: *rings*
Me: *looks at call, recognises the number and picks up*
Me: "Hello! Haven't heard from you in a while! How are you doing?"
Him: "I have a problem with my PC, could you..."
Me: *hangs up*
Aside from not even getting a "hello, how are you?" at the start of the call, here's the plot-twist:
A - This was my goddamn Brother calling
B - It was my goddamn birthday23 -
GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*4 -
Stolen from an awesome book but my new favourite line ;)
Someone: “Can you repair my computer， it`s not working anymore?”
Me: “Do you call Leonardo Dicaprio when your Tv is broken?”7 -
Made a website for a friend's parents in 2015. Months later after the website was finished, I haven't been paid. Reminded them about the money, they say they will call me. No call received. So, I turned the website into this. (image)
2017, still haven't been paid.
16 -
Classmate: Oh, are you programming? You know, I'm a really great programmer... You can practically call me a hacker, because of my skills. I can't brag much, because I'm too modest for that.
Me: Cool! What languages do you know?
Classmate: I know how to use scratch.
Me: ...16 -
1. I agree to work with you on your startup idea because i believe in you.
2. I am the solo developer doing both the mobile apps, website, database and server side.
3.You call me shouting and complaining that i am too slow.
4. sudo rm -rf ~/your_project5 -
Been getting rejected for Linux related jobs all over for the last few months. Yesterday I emailed a company yet again because fuck it.
Got a call today from their recruiter! Genuinely nice guy and he's going to call me back tomorrow! Let's hope this finally goes well 😄20 -
passionately making love on Friday morning.
Cellphone buzzes for WhatsApp notification, ignored.
Call ignored, SMS ignored, again call, ignored.
She : whose that bitch calling you?
Me : it's no one important.
She : Checks WhatsApp, message from CTO, server crashed.
Me : Umm, darling, I need to fix this.
It's been 2 days she hasn't answered my call after she left.15 -
First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*
*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*
*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*
*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*
*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*
*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*
*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*
FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.
FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.9 -
*call from boss on the weekend*
Boss: hey, we have an important demo the next week, can you make that xyz changes (not big deal)
Me: okay, gimme 15 minutes
~30 minutes later~
Boss:still waiting tho
Me: *sending this:
6 -
Deadline was 2 days ago.. Managment pissed off, bugging me every 2 minutes, until they get a call from the client asking to leave me alone to do my job. Awesome feeling..
5 -
Programmer boyfriend says he misses me, wants to talk to me and wants us to video call.
He codes on camera instead of talking with me. 😂10 -
Fuck those useless calls!
PM: customer X wants a call in an hour.
Me: they didn't send emails before. No questions, no prep, no call.
PM: yeah but they want to talk.
Me: these unprepared calls are pointless. I'll be sitting there, noting down the questions and telling them I'll have to look up the details.
PM: shall I tell them that you don't want to talk to them?
Me: I don't care, it's your call, do whatever you want.
PM: that's not professional.
Me: oh you're calling it professional to sit there with a pencil, writing down crap or what?
PM: what's the problem?!
Me: I've had this shit for the last two fucking calls, and they were so unprepared that they wasted half of the call just reading up, and I'm fed up with this shit!
PM: but they are the customers, and they aren't that happy.
Me: yeah, and do you know why? Because our schedule is completely fucked up and our management has been ignoring ANY warning from engineering for WEEKS! That's why they are unhappy and not because I'm not holding their fucking hands!
PM: hey, but you can't tell me what I have to do!
Me: and you can't tell me either! [he's my PM, but technically not my superior.]
PM: so no call or what?
Me: you're free to have your call. I'll sort out the shit that they're concerned about, putting that down in a proper email, and then we have at least some basis for discussion!
PM: (left for his call)
Btw., my cursing was the same in the live conversation with him.9 -
Got a call from a recruiter today. (Keep in mind that using WhatsApp is about a requirement over here.)
R: so can I app you (I hate that word to the fucking point) with further details?
Me: *oh fuck this is gonna get me fucked again* uhm I don't use it so yah...
R: ohhh okay, security reasons?
Me: *slight relief* yes indeed, sir
R: oh fair enough, you can always just text and call me!
*very relieved feeling*
It's for either a cyber security or linux job by the way.29 -
First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'
Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?
Damn, really?!9 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
You might call me an insomniac, but I am definitely a night owl. Night cat sounds more exciting. Time for another exciting night in the Land of Code! Meow, meow12
-
Client: can we have a quick call right now?
Me: sure, hold on while I install VirtualBox, Windows 10 and Skype for Business13 -
1. Submit my resume, get an email asking to schedule an interview
2. Schedule the interview
3. One day before the scheduled time, I get an email saying that the interview is being rescheduled to another time two days later (no explanation for why they did this)
4. I clear out my schedule and wait for the interview call (it’s suppose to be at 2:30, but I wait like 15 minutes early because I don’t want to miss it)
5. I don’t get a call
6. At 3:00, I call the company and ask whats going on. They apologize and say my interviewer will call me back as soon as he gets back from lunch.
7. He doesn’t call.
8. At 4:00 I call them back. Apparently the guy who was suppose to interview me went home. I ask them wtf they are doing and if this is how they treat their employees. They said they would reschedule the interview and call me back once they did.
9. No one calls.
10. I wait a week, call them back, and am told that the funding for my position didn’t come through (what does that mean? You’re not hiring programmers to design the software for your billion dollar war machines anymore? Seriously?).
I’ve had it with this company. I don’t know if it was just this incompetent recruiting group or if this is a company full of scumbags, but I mean, really?1 -
Trying to explain to a coworker that the AJAX call he would like to do will not work due to same-origin policy restriction.
Coworker: «But for me it is working.»
Me: «What browser are you using?»
Coworker: «Internet Explorer»
LMAO2 -
I just told a colleague of mine, and worst programmer i got to know, to call me the alchemist.
Because I'm the one turning his shit to gold -
Browser notifications, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A THING!
God I hate every other website that requests browser notifications.. why just why?11 -
Manager: We really need to save money with this project, so nobody call tech support for anything.
Me: There's this open-source solution that would work great.
Manager: Bad idea! There's no tech support number to call.
Me: ...4 -
Phone rings, recruiter: "hi Scott just come across your CV and really want to talk to you about an exciting opportunity"
Me: "Ok, cool, can I just qualify this call, what was the keyword search you used to find my profile?"
Recruiter: "it's for a Java developer role for an exciting employer"
Me: "so you matched me on a Java training course I did 8 years ago?"
Recruiter: "ok, but I see you're fully qualified in c#"
Me: "you mean the support developer role from 5 years ago?"
Recruiter: "yes"
Me: "😑"
Recruiter: "listen it's a pretty bad line can I call you on a land line or drop you an email?"
Me: "sure drop me an email with your contact details and I'll give you a call back"
Still waiting on that email...
Why can't recruiters just admit straight away that they blindly called you without even reading your CV8 -
friend: how do you create a game?
me: *laughing* slow down, first of all try to learn to code, then...
friend: cut the bullshit! your the IT guy, tell me, how you simply create a for e.x. Call of Duty?6 -
Me : "Hey the proxies aren't working anymore"
Them : "The what ?"
Me : "The what-you-call 'webs references'"
Them : Ooooh right
Yeah let's just call a cat a dog1 -
These mother fuckers know when I'm packed up and ready to go to work and decide that's the perfect fucking time to call me. WHY COULDN'T YOU CALL WHILE I WAS STILL LOGGED IN AND DIDN'T HAVE TO LOG THE FUCK BACK IN, WAIT 90 YEARS FOR THE VIRTUAL MACHINE TO LOG ME IN and then tell me your issue self resolved. Come down to my office and bring me coffee for being so damn annoying before I'm sufficiently caffeinated.4
-
Boss: Can I pick your brains about something for 5 mins?
Me: Sure
-Call started-
(2hr 49min later...)
Boss: So you're still on track to finish that project by lunch today?
...
-Call ends-3 -
The fact you’re older doesn’t give you the right to call other people’s 8-months’ engineering effort “shit work”, especially if you didn’t even see the code...
Sincerely,
Your tech lead - me :)4 -
Client: When will you give me an update on this feature
Me: In two weeks
Client: okay that’s fine
Client proceeds to call me everyday asking me for an update🤨🤨
Fuck you sir.4 -
Stop ask me if I can have a call every freaking time I send you an email. If I wanted to talk to you I would have called.3
-
"Can't have a fucking std (method) call, give me a break"
Said that loudly on a phone call. Wondering why people were give me dirty looks on the train1 -
"What idiot left a console.log in a function call spitting out the value of the onchange......oh fuck, that was me "
-
today while I was at work, gets a call from an unknown number
Some lady: "hello, is this Mr XYZ."
Me: "yes".
she:" are you looking for a job? are you working somewhere?"
Me: "I'm currently wor... *she ends the call*."
what the fuck that was, fuck you. at least let me finish the sentence god dammit7 -
"Your every second word is 'fuck', you really should watch out for that."
Fucking give me a fucking client who doesnt fucking call me at 6am fucking saturday and ill fucking stop swearing.4 -
I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.
When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.
Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?
And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.
Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.21 -
Had a recruiter contact me at home on my day off.
Recruiter: We have a company that would be interested in hiring a C# developer because of your programming skillset.
Me: Does it involve ASP.NET?
Recruiter: Yes.
Me: I apologize, but I don't have any skills in ASP.NET. I've been instead focusing on building my skillset with Java Spring/Hibernate and soon JavaScript to start building front end skills with my backend skillset.
Recruiter: Oh, is Java an in demand skill that companies want?
....Why are you talking to me mate? Take off your headset, go home, and rethink your life choices.4 -
The support staff at the Apple stores are called "geniuses". If being able to factory reset an iPhone is called being a genius then call me Einstein for being able to write code.4
-
*INCOMING CALL FROM MY NETWORK PROVIDER*
HI,
I'm calling from *my network provider* and I wanted to check if you would like to port to our network.
This happened 3 times in a day already. And now 4th time.
Me : Look man, I'm already on the same network and I don't need to port.
Guy : You should have told this to me in the beginning. You wasted my time in not doing that.
THIS CUM DRINKING PIECE OF SHIT PUNKASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T DO A SIMPLE SEARCH ON HIS COMPUTER BEFORE GIVING ME A CALL AND THEN TELLS ME I WASTED HIS TIME.5 -
Me in 2015: think I'm gonna learn JavaScript.
Me in 2017: think I'm gonna learn JavaScript.
It's like that ex you always want to call but you keep thinking she's moved on...7 -
I eh... was once munching on nutela straight from the jar while on a call only realised arpund 10 mins into the call that my camera was on and everyone could could see me eating straight from the jar (without a spoon)8
-
An amazing recruiter found me on LinkedIn. According to her cv she has incredible skills such as “Internet Browsers“ and “Google Calender“. Maybe I should give her a call?3
-
I got recruiter called me at 4:30am. I pick up the phone call and realised that we both share the same timezone. Why .... Wtf.6
-
*client calls*
Me: Hello?
Client: Hi, I have some questions about the project.
Me: Alright, what are they?
Client: I don't quite remember what my questions are.
What? Then why did you call me?1 -
Nature gave me a real life 🦆 debugging friend. He wasn't really helpful though. He flew away shortly after. Probably got a call from a more desperate dev.
3 -
Me: "Team, we need to make a call. We have 2 options to deal with issue X: we either apply the mechanism A, sort the issue out right away, but risk creating another issue in the long run, or we take another path and try and change the process revolving around X to make it less painful if any."
Colleague: *calls me on Slack*
Me: "You, tsup?"
Colleague: "You said you wanted a call"
Me: *that's not the call I had in mind......*
4 -
Sure Edge... let me just give larry and sergey a quick call, I'm sure they will be happy to help me fix your problems.
10 -
Shitty call
Me: what do you want?
Q: I Lost my iphone
Me: (already pissed) ok,do you have an icloud account?
Q: Yes, but i forgot the password.
Me: what!?!, ok, fine, we will reset it, which is your ID?
Q: I lost it too.
*stay calm* *stay calm*
Me: I can't help you go to an apple store and ask there. *I Close the call*
*Add that number to blacklist*2 -
Recruiter call me for a position in his company and after speaking for a while he asked me to refer him in my company 🤣1
-
Telephonic "technical" interview at 5 in the evening
Interviewer : Tell me about yourself
Me : Blah blah...
Interviewer : Thank you for your time
(Call time on phone... 7 minutes)
Absolutely uninterested... no single counter question... Guess she just wanted to go home early... 😑6 -
Nearly had to call an ambulance because of a sudden heart problem that left me strenghtless with fear for my life.
Hope you're getting a better Christmas than I do 😅5 -
Please disable adblock before entering this page
*opens page source*
*delete*
Yeah I guess you could call me a hacker3 -
Me: The phone rings but when I pick up there's nothing there.
Indian call center: Okay sir can you tell me if the landline is plugged into the modem
Me: It's ringing. Yes, it's plugged in.
Indian call center: Okay we'll reset the modem.
Me: I already did that. Twice. Just to be able to speak to you because the robot made me.
Indian call center: Okay so we'll reset your modem again.
*resets*
Indian call center: Do you get a dial tone now?
Me: Yes. I have this entire time. No one can call me.
Indian call center: Sir that is not possible.
Me: Call it and see for yourself.
Indian call center: *calls, phone hangs up for them the second I answer*
Why did you hang up on me, sir?
Me: *internal screaming*3 -
🙄 Windows asked me to install the update thrice. I asked it to remind me later. The fourth time it just shut my system down and started updating..
This is what you call a constructive and understanding OS-User relationship 🌝
3 -
Some of my coworkers call connecting with SSH "git bashing", because they use git bash for making ssh connections. 😋
They never understand me when I use the term "SSH". 😔3 -
Call with recruiter:
me: I'm an Android Developer.
recruiter: Great. So you use Angular and React at work?
me: ???2 -
Me: *spends 7ish hours looking for bug in insanely poorly written javascript file to no avail.*
My boss: *spends 30 minutes reading through code* Found the problem-- this function call was missing a parameter.
Me: *wtfHowDidIMissThat*6 -
Near the end of a massive (1,000 user bridgeline) conference call today:
[ P = presenter, RCn = random caller n ]
P: ...so, does anyone have any other questions they'd like to---
RC1: Hey! Yeah, I'm still on this STUPID call right now... I dunno, we've been in here for like 30 minutes already - The guy came by the house to talk about it, but I couldn't get off this STUPID call - I think they said it would be around 800 dollars...
[ P, RC1, RC2, RC3, RC4 all overlapping ]
P: Um, we can hear you-
RC2: Dude, mute your phone!
RC3: As the presenter, you can mute that guy from the web UI-
P: Yeah, I can't find him in the attendee list; it's so long-
RC3: -Right-click on his name and select "mute line"-
P: I know how, but I can't find him on the list.
RC3: Find him on the attendance list on the right side-
P: [ louder and louder ] Yes, I know - but I can't find him in the list-
RC4: Should someone call an operator?
RC1: -so I figured we'll probably need to call Jerry and see what he says. I'll call him if I can ever get off this ridiculous, STUPID call - They are all talking at once on there now and no one can understand anything!
[ This went on for about 5 solid minutes, finally ending with... ]
RC1: I'm just going to drop this STUPID call and call Jerry for us. This thing was a total waste of time. [ boop-beep ]
[ long pause ]
P: OK, so now that is over, does anyone have any questions they'd like to discuss?
[ At least 10 people un-mute and overlap questions ]
#ConferenceCallProblems
Above everything else, the funniest part to me was his repeated, over-the-top insistence on how "STUPID" the call was.
#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel1 -
(A fucking pushy assrat of a LinkedIn recruiter called me at my job today, this is my message after he cowardly hung up before I could inherit the call from our secretary)
Dear Mr. $PUSHY_RECRUITER
Please don't call me again, as I already wrote you my unavailability in March.
I don't see your logic in calling me AT MY JOB. It does not make any sense except if you just wanted to call me to see if I'm still there and then hang up like a fucking coward.
If you really wanted to hire me, you should have written me a more thorough description about the job after my initial message of unavailability thus creating the chance for me to reconsider your offer.
But since you seemingly thought it was an absolutely great idea to call me at the workplace (thus making me look really bad in the eyes of my coworkers) I wish you a sincere and honest "fuck you".
Please don't ever call or message me again.
I am extremely happy at my current job and will not consider leaving in the next 100 years.
Signed,
Yet another pissed off developer.6 -
Of course you can call me at 9 o'clock on a saturday morning to fix your f****** login problem!
My private life is just a rumor!1 -
On call this week, so I answered the phone when it rang, because it's my d job, but WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME AT 0410 MY TIME WHEN MY COWORKER IS ON THE CLOCK AT 0710 HIS TIME AND HE'S ABLE TO TAKE THE CALL?! You didn't need me. It was the same issue as yesterday, BUT I DIDN'T FIX A DAMN THING. It resolved itself. The "customer" you had on the phone to work with me to resolve the issue didn't need to be called either, just the application dev. Stop calling people who don't need to be awake just because we were the ones on the call when it self-resolved and none of us know what's going on.4
-
When these "LinkedIn recruiters" call me and start the conversation by saying: "We are a growing company and we can't offer you what you are asking for"
Like what!! Really? You called me at the first place!5 -
*phone rings*
Me: "Hello".
Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."
Fucking hell.3 -
I just had a non-paying customer call me useless a total of 5 times in a support ticket.
Banning them from all of my apps might be worth a bad review.9 -
Dear Colleague who ended a call I overheard today with the sentence "I'm off next week, if there is anything - anything! -, call me on my mobile phone!". Fuck you. If you value your work more than your family, that's not only your problem. You're fucking my clients expectations, too. I don't think you're a hero. You're a moron.4
-
Was asked to pop down to my bosses office for 5 minutes, turns out I was interviewing someone. Not one word of warning was given to me prior the phone call asking me to come down.2
-
>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work
PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.
Me: ... Oh... OK.
PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha
Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠
PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.
Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>
PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.
Me: ok.10 -
A call with a recruiter:
Recruiter: you have written web apps (in this language) but not software?
Me: ...2 -
interviewer: name something basic
me: your crappy ass bootstrap php5.4 website you call a “cloud data infrastructure”
interviewer: oh that’s very basic indeed7 -
I just wrote this piece of code. Without googling. Call me regex king!
But in fact regex is not that hard, you just have to learn the syntax 😄
28 -
Support elevates a ticket.
Ticket: customer is getting a weird error uploading photo.
Can’t recreate. Tell support to call them back. I’ll sit in on the call.
Watch the process. Noting extraordinary...
Hmm.
Me: can you get the customer to open the pic in photo viewer?
Support asks as much.
Support: uh, he says he gets a similar error opening this photo in the photo viewer.
Me: 🤦♂️ that is a corrupt file! -
Me: * Has roughly 1.5 years of PHP experience *
LinkedIn recruiter: Hello Java expert with lots of Oracle enterprise experience, wanna call?6 -
Customer call.
Customer: what's the status of the software?
Me: it's a bit of wood work.
Customer: wood work?!
Me: yes, I think it would work.
Customer: ...
Me: ...6 -
Someone I know recommended me to Google... Not sure if I'm excited or scared if they call.
Not getting my hopes up though. 👀5 -
The boss told me the app must be ready for Thurs. And he was supposed to tell me the information about the hardware they are using but he did not!
Also his phone is off 👿
How do u call this guy?7 -
This is the third time a recruiter calls me while I am shitting on the toilet.
It's one of two, they call me too often. Or I shit a lot12 -
In Russia we call PS/2 “пс пополам”, literally “ps divided by two”. Reminds me of French numbers system where they call say 99 “quatre vingt dix neuf”, literally a “four times twenty plus ten plus nine”15
-
Story of my life when I am really interested in a company:
Company: let's have a call to get to know each other.
Me: okay.
Company during the call: takes a technical interview
Company *a few days later*: now let's have a technical call!
Me: okay
Company during call: asks to design GOOGLE in GOOGLE DOC (??!!?!)
Company *a few days later*: now let's have a Development Test!
Me: okay
Company *sends an email* asking to complete a task which should take a week to develop in a few hours
Me: okay...
Company *a few weeks later*: Sends a generic email saying they got another person who is a better fit.
Me: ffs..16 -
So windows wants to be my friend, wants to record my every move, and now wants to record my every everything on the go.
I’m starting to think if the pain of transitioning to linux full time is going to be worth while soon.
6 -
In Yellowstone to see the eclipse!
No break for me today though, I've got dumb clients to deal with, and I had to wake up at 5am to do a conference call.
3 -
I get a call where someone wants to start a startup, says since it's his idea he gets 50% and he will wait for me to finish the whole thing on my own expecting me to work for free 🙂3
-
client : show website
me: sir server is down
client : what? I don't know,I want to see my website.
me: sir try to understand it is not my issue
client *call cut*
fucking asshole -_-1 -
I'm such a dumb fuck....
It took me fucking 30 mins to figure out that I use a function which relies on a copy of an object that's copied one line after the function call instead of before...
PLEASE KILL ME8 -
My uncle: „You are good with computers, right? My Word is broken, repair that.“
Yeah sure, let me just call my bros at Microsoft and repair your Word with them 🤨 -
I hate being on call when all directors and c-suite are unable to work because their systems went down.
At least they trust me and let me work. It's just stressful. -
(developer thing)
I am trying to build code from the last 4 or 4:30 hours at office and she message me
She : it's urgent.. call me
Me : me();
(THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID 🙄)4 -
I decided to withdraw my application from Amazon cause it was so stressful. Got a call from my recruiter berating me telling me I fucked it up for everyone.
God willing, I get black listed on LinkedIn7 -
My friends just got me the best birthday present ever. Always wanted a rubber duckie, never thought I'll have something even better, my own Tux - will call him Tuxy 😊🐧
6 -
Does anyone know an extension or library that helps determine if a co-worker is into me?
Or how to handle such inputs
I keep getting a fatal error: call to undefined function4 -
Some1: Can I call you?
Me: Any issue?
Some1: Yeah, need some clarifications.
Me: On, What?
C'mon, why on earth ppl can't provide some context before jumping into a call2 -
Just got a phone call that slapped me with a raise and I was in such a shit mood today and I’ve got fucking flu... a raise is just what I needed6
-
Got a missed call from a recruitment company today. Called the number back and dude said he didn't know me so I told him the name of this dude that looked at my LinkedIn today. Turns out it's him, lmfao. How many people does this guy cold call on a daily basis?3
-
Me : "Hey, your class is internal, I can't call it remotely"
Other team : "Oh okay, wait *change it to public* Done, you can call it now"
*some days later*
Other team : "*switch back*"
Okay then, I guess it's a way to say "Fuck you" with commits2 -
Me: so, what are you doing as a developer?
Him: I am full-stack developer, basically ROR...
Me:...! Sorry, do you mean R&D, research and development? Or you mean Aroura DB?
Hi: no man, I am expert in ROR! You can not call your self developer in our days without knowing the on demand technologies!
Me:... Sorry dude, can you please tell me what is ROR, I don't want to lose my title as a developer!!!?
Him: OK, we call Ruby On Rails as ROR.
Me: ~¢°¤”©°$®”«2 -
Went out on a limb and bought an iPhone. It's already causing me problems. Now I have to call fucking apple support. Fuck.
12 -
My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.
She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.
She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.3 -
I missed 25 on call alerts over night.
Me and my wife did not budge. Look at me call history and I cleared my voicemail at 4am... No recollection of that at all.
Oh well!5 -
> Scammer calls me.
> I answer and robot puts me in queue.
> PlEaSe WaIt, yOuR CaLl Is vERy iMpOrtAnt To uS!
> 6 minutes later it literally says “Goodbye!” And Hangs up.
> ???5 -
Had a classmate who loved the innuendo "flick the bean" so whenever he created a Bean class, me made sure to name one of the methods "flick" so he could call bean.flick()
-
DXB (airport)'s WiFi doesn't let you call through whatsapp or telegram or even discord. It also does not let you send a whatsapp voice message, which has me very puzzled.
And all I wanted to do was to call my mom. ☹️
(I might also be running a slight fever, which makes me very emotional and sensitive)10 -
*on phone*
Friend: I want to add 100 contacts to gmail how do I do that?
Me: Add those in excel sheet and import it in gmail
*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I deleted something in excel. How do I get it back
Me: Ctrl Z
*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I added contacts to excel and emailed to you. Can you email me contacts so that I'll add to my gmail?
Me; I don't have these powers. You have to import in gmail.
*after 5 mins another call*
Friend: I uploaded contacts but I want it in on my iPhone
Me: Add gmail account to your iPhone. It will sync contacts.
Friend: I know we can do it on Android but is it possible on iPhone bcz Gmail is of Google right?
*hang up*1 -
A recruiter landed in my LinkedIn inbox, I took pity and graciously provided my phone number so they could call me and beg me to leave my current job to join their company.. aaaaaand they don't call at the agreed upon time. Mate, you wanted me, not the other way around? 🤷🤭8
-
What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...
Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#
This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.5 -
I work remotely and have to attend a 'scrum' call everyday which I fucking hate. It gives me anxiety as I already dont like extensive phone calls.11
-
Putty, you son of a bitch. Why do you call the logging option "All session output" if you don't include binary zeros in the output? Zeros don't count as "all" or what?
Then call the option "All session output without zeros", that would have saved me some time and prevented handing out false data.6 -
Client doesn't have any idea what pages/links they want for their website. Same client told me to call the guy who recommended me to him for the project brief...wtf...I mean WTF!!!
5 -
So I just got off of a teams call which I suffered the classic BSOD part way through, a colleague tells me that the entire time I was disconnected waiting for my laptop to restart, my team's account was broadcasting a super loud jackhammer style racket to everyone else in the call 🤦🏼♂️ and of course nobody knew how to mute me so they sat in 3 minutes of what can only be described as noise 😂😂
I'm not sure whether to feel embarrassed to have caused the issue or to be annoyed that the software does something so random while I'm not even in the call or with a powered on laptop 🙈4 -
I never ever give out my cell # to ppl at work. If they need to speak with me, I provide them my work # only.
Two weeks ago, went to a customer site. For ONE minute, I had an email on the screen that had my personal cell #.
Last Tuesday - out walking dog: call from customer to personal cell.
Last Thursday - getting ready for work, brushing teeth: call from customer to personal cell.
Last Friday - grabbing lunch: call from customer to personal cell.
Yesterday - in a meeting: call from customer to personal cell.
I'm gonna cry 😢3 -
Me: Would you be free for a call sometime in the next week to discuss?
Him: yes
...... maybe theres a time / day that suits you????2 -
I forgot to put myself out of office today on our call schedule... Thought I'd get away with it because I shouldn't get calls anyways. Got a call. Not handling it, passed it on, but it woke me up... :(2
-
Phone call with customers and their minutes-of-meeting writer.
Me: Blabla round robin algorithm.
Customer's MoM writer: What? How do you spell "robin"?
Me: Robin like in Batman.
Customer's MoM writer: Ah, ok.5 -
So, I am currently seeking opportunities at other companies. I randomly got a call on Thursday around 12pm from an unknown number and I was not able to take that call as I was in a meeting. Later on, after looking up that number on Truecaller, I found out that it’s a recruiter from a US-based firm that I had applied to earlier. I immediately tried to call that person again but she was not able to talk as she was in another meeting. I tried texting the recruiter asking for her availability but she didn’t respond. I called again and this time she got annoyed at me, saying that she will call me back if needed. Now, on the weekend I again tried to message her, asking when she is free for a conversation, she is acting high and mighty, saying that she will call me when we (the company) have interviews again (hinting that I have missed the opportunity and it’s my fault). Her passive-aggressive attitude seems to be coming because I didn’t take her earlier call— I did not deliberately avoid her call, I was in another meeting. I was not given any intimation that she is going to call me— let alone on a weekday at 12pm. My current company expects a high-level of professionalism and I intend to show the same level of professionalism in any future companies that I work with. This kind of dehumanization (mainly due to a power imbalance in top-down heirarchical structure) is why big companies have hard time retaining workers these days. And this company was not Google/Apple or anything remotely in the same league. So I seemed to have dodged a bullet there.4
-
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
-
Had this PM who would call me while intoxicated mid afternoon. He would come up with these random ideas, and request them be implemented into the web app we were building for him. One time he called me saying "I have an idea for a page, but so far just the page's title. I'll call you back and tell you what to put on it."5
-
I always end my iOS apps with an anonymous inner function. Call me sentimental, but it gives me a sense of closure1
-
Mom: Give me one single reason why won't you do MBA?
Me: People there won't get my jokes on computers, and it will be all like high school again 😭😭😭 -
I'm not, by far, what you pros call 'decent' at being a Linux wiz but installing Discord on Manjaro got me feeling 1337.
And all I did was run packer -S discord.
5 -
Me - If only there where more people like this in the world, surely world Peace would be achieved.
Friend - maybe, but don't call me sherley.
-
Me showing boss a draft document
Me: Ok so this is a placeholder list of statuses, I have to call the client to find out what statuses should go here.
Boss: Hold on lemme read it. *Reads*. But this list of statuses is incomplete, you should call the client to find out what statuses we should add.
Me: ಠ_ಠ5 -
Oh please it's weekend. Don't call me or message me, especially if it's not urgent 😡 My contract doesn't include selling my soul.3
-
Call between Me and IT Assistant Guy working @ the Ministry of Education in my Country:
Me: Hi! I'm wondering why my account has been disabled. Can you tell me something?
IT guy: Have you tried turning off and on your computer?
Ministry.Of.Education.
4 -
Yea it’s totally cool. Dropping a conference call on me 30 minutes before it happens. And then you (and everyone else in the call) should be late too. And then do this stuff all the damn time and ask me why I have to push the deadline back. But get super pissy when I give you a realistic deadline that factors these bullshit experiences in!
Then after I wait 10 minutes on the line, tell me it’s been moved to the bottom of the hour which doesn’t really leave me enough time to do anything but play on DevRant. Fucking insanity.1 -
Call me crazy but honestly, getting a segmentation fault in C/C++ makes my day joyful
Java or Python guys will never understand the feel you get when you end up getting segmentation fault in C/C++
Sitting in midst of nature with beer in hand and segmentation fault on screen.
WOW :) THAT'S WHAT WE CALL LIFE :)
PS: Although sometimes it's frustrating as hell5 -
Me, perfectly relaxed after 2 hours of conference call (the voices are telling me to feed my colleagues to the ravens and they're winning)
1 -
So it turns out I had to set the memory_limit of a PHP cronjob to a whopping 8 Gigglebytes to make it run.
Call me haxX0r m4n from now on.2 -
So I got a call earlier today that a letter from the US arrived for me. I can only guess what's in it.1
-
When you have to call me to help you set up your Minecraft server, you shouldn't run a Minecraft server. As easy as it is.
-
*1 hour passes*
Me: adds new code
*1 day passes*
Me: Why did it work?
*some random weekend*
On call developer: Who fucking wrote this code!4 -
My first dev job evolved from an internship and ended with me screaming “fuck” at people for a few months until they finally got sick of it and gave me the boot. It was a fair call 😂1
-
How to be more productive at morning? Just get alert from PagerDuty that one of core app running out of space and there is nothing you can delete. Call me Speedy Gonzalez
-
I just got a message from my company's front desk lady that someone called and asked for me and left a number for me to return the call. I've had a feeling about it and as it turns out, yes, it really was a recruiter who had the confidence* to call my company to sell me another job.7
-
The people around me only call me hacker. Kinda sad to not being able to talk to somebody understanding what I really do.
-
Went for interview .
Got positive outcome .
Asked basic details and documents for call letter .
Later put notice period .
All of a sudden they dont need me.
What the actual frig?13 -
"Hello, this is Raja C******b. The purpose of this call is not a sales call. I would like to send you a free podcast examining <blah blah blah> and its impact on <blah blah blah>. I have your email address on file. May I send this to you?"
"No. Because this is not free, since my time is money. And also because this IS a sales call."
"It is not a sales call, sir. We would like to send you a free podcast..."
"... that will try to sell me something."
"No, sir. It is a free podcast examining..."
"...Something that will try to convince me to purchase a product or service."
"Ok, yes."
"Ok, bye."3 -
dBs, many db architectures everywhere. Yet still none can satisfy me until I pay a lot. We should all call them HookerDB
-
Recruiter: blablabla would you be interested in this job ?
Me: It looks great, hell yes I'm interested!
Recruiter: When are you available for a quick call?
Me: I'm not interested anymore.2 -
This made me lel
I automatically heard Stallman's ramblings regarding what it should be named :P
I call it the Stallman Screech
-
I'm boutta make a scripting language with classes, trait generics AND two kinds of value types
Call me Mr. Dangerous 😎14 -
Me, converting shit to JSON between a data pull and an API call even though I don't have to just because the data only makes sense to my brain that way.4
-
Write an app or design a toilet that checks consistency of my poop and tells me what to eat
Suggestions are welcome on what to call it11 -
"My friend here wants to build an OS like Windows and he told me to tell you to call him to talk about it later when you're free."6
-
(one day before the phone interview)
Them: Please call to us at (TIME) to (PHONENUMBER)
Me: Ok
(interview day)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Me: (calls to the number at (TIME))
Phone: Your call has been forwarded to automatic voice message system. (PHONENUMBER) is not availible. After tone please leave message. When you are finish the recording you may hang up or press 1 for more option, please leave message now.
Me: (deep breath, patiently waits 5 mins.)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
--[[CHORUS]]--
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CALL YOU WHEN YOU TURN OFF THE PHONE / TALK WITH SOMEONE ELSE????
IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, JUST DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
--> Could not reach them for 3 days, gave up -
!dev
Saturday... Weekend... Let me get back my sleep from weekdays...
Zzz..zzzz...**phone call**
Yeah, phone woke me, didnt even read who called. Oh, great. My bosss needs quick help and will come nearby my home in an hour.
Yaaaaay... Fuck.11 -
You shitty brat, if my HR staff didn't call you, they didn't call you. Still don't understand? Ok, simpler explanation. Because THEY DO NOT WANT YOU.
Just because we know each other doesn't mean you will get hired at my work. And you are not even a developer, you are a freaking sales man. Why the heck do you keep asking me about it?1 -
ChaseBank is getting up my nose. Twice in four business days my account was flagged and I had to change my password for 'security' purposes. I spent the better part of 90 minutes in a futile attempt to find out why, when there's been no suspicious activity on my account, I'm being flagged. My father contacted a branch manager near him who told him to dial the priolrity customer service number and key in the letters (I shit you not) HO HO. I called the number. It's the same damn number I'd been calling. I called the branch. They told me I'd definitely receive a call back last Friday by 1800. No call. So, yesterday I called the manager of that branch, verified its location, told the manager he was supposed to call me by 1800 last Friday, and Chase Corporate would be in touch with him soon to explain that when you tell a customer you'll call them, you'll fucking call them.2
-
PM: Heyy team x, could we have a suuper quick 90 sec tops call?
B*tch, if the call is actually 1.5m there is no way we need that call. We can actually respond to your question in text quicker.
But I know you. You can't fool me that it would actually be 90 seconds.
It's also fucking Friday afternoon.
fml2 -
I hate you fucking callbacks. why don't you callback in the fucking order you were motherfucking called!!!! why must you force me to call a callback a callback!! 😣😡😤👹
2 -
Needed texts to call-duty with the gist of the incident. Implemented, works.
PM wants to also ring the phone, cause text may not wake them up.
Me, telling him, that his tools don’t allow me to call him. However, I said, I could send the text as a fax msg, which would end up “ringing” mr call-duties phone, and then fax-Morse-beep the msg to him.
PM was ok w/ that.2 -
I just called somebody beside me an idiot while the call microphone was on. Quick question: how do I dig a hole and bury myself?4
-
Me: focused on coding....
Manager: we have that call tomorrow with the customers it guy.
Me: sure.
Manager: could you write the questions down, so you don't forget it.
Me: I Am FUCKING CODING.... I WROTE THE FUCKING SYSTEM ITTSSS MINE I DON'T FORGET WHAT I WROTE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.... -
Same twat manager from my last rant... He'd call my mobile after hours because we were friends once, and progressively get drunk throughout the call and try to come up with ways to usurp the director, who is actually a decent guy. He'd try to talk me into schemes and convince me to leave with him or get him ousted. Silly fucker.
-
when my friends call me and say let's stay in touch on facebook, me i'll be like: emm uhh sorry i quit smoking.1
-
When somebody says they are going to call me, I always fear this will destroy my flow and focus for the rest of the day.5
-
I thought I had seen everything, but today a coworker tried to call one test case from another and asked me if that is an okay thing to do.6
-
Fighting dev environment stuff makes me sometimes wish I could be evil and have some sort of framework that when an API call fails it just makes a second call to the PokeAPI and returns some random results ... because if shit is gonna be absurd it may as well be fun absurd.
-
Call me an idiot... Yesterday I just installed Arch Linux. Guess what happened?
I formatted my fedora-drive and then noticed I destroyed my bootloader. Please just kill me😫 Anyone had such problems too and maybe could give me some advice how to fix?5 -
Was on call last night. I get a phone call at 3 am that all of our clients projects (including one that was launching at 5 am) was missing libraries (thus causing the sites to not work). I was able to fix all of the errors but one (missing jQuery). Couldn’t figure out how to fix for the life of me. Had to call my boss and wake her up because I forgot I could just download it from the site. Feeling like a failure for something so small.2
-
Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.15
-
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O -
*Friday morning*
Me: "Ok the client wants to talk with you on Wednesday at 10 am. It's a conference call on Hangouts, here's the link: [ link ]. Be on time, I have already sent you all the details about the topics you'll have to cover. I will be available during the weekend if you need help, we cannot afford to make mistakes"
Smartass Dev: "Don't worry, I am on it"
*Tuesday, after lunch break*
Me: "Just a final check: is everything clear with my email? I'm working late tonight, call me if you need something else. They'll probably share some slides, be sure to join from your laptop: [ link ]"
Smartass Dev: "No problem, I am fine"
*Wednesday, 11.15 am*
Smartass Dev: "Hey, what a shitty client! I waited more than an hour and they did not even tell me that the call was canceled. This is so unprofessional."
Me: "The call was not canceled"
Smartass Dev: "Dude, I had my phone here on the desk. I was ready to answer but they never called"
Me: "Did you open the link?"
Smartass Dev: "What link?????"
Me: "It was on Hangouts, I sent you the link twice"
Smartass Dev: "Really...? I'm so unlucky these days. Next time will be better 🙂" -
The biggest pro of GDPR for me will be when some fucking agency will ever call me again, I will ask them right away to delete my phone number and everything.
-
A potential client wants me to fix a critical bug on their app. She wants us to book a call so she can explain the issue to me.
Because so many clients have wasted my time in the past, I want to charge her some $$$ for the call. However, if the gig goes through, it’ll be deducted from her bill.
Does this make any sense?3 -
It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?
3 -
my humblest experience until now so far:
I am not even able to solve the rubiks cube, and I can call me software engineer2 -
On call with customer
Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes2 -
Computerworld: Call me crazy, but Windows 11 could run on Linux.
https://computerworld.com/article/...13 -
> be me
> recruiter: *sends a LinkedIn request with a message, I saw your profile, you're quite proficient in javascript and jQuery, do you want to work with us with cutting edge meteorjs stack*
> me : *the fuck ?! I don't even know that library exists, replies anyway for a call*
> me:...okay I'll call before I come in
> me: *quick look on their website which is built on meteorjs, fucking beautiful*
> me: *opens console out of curosity*
> me: holy shit, what the fuck? they're loading jQuery 1.1.2 over HTTP and website is on HTTPS, top of that they are loading jQuery libraries before jQuery.
> me : *reports to the recruiter*
> recruiter: thanks, we'll look into it
> ???
> profit
and I don't plan to work a place like that3 -
So I've just moved to Amsterdam from London. What prepaid/pay as you go Sim card you recommend me to get? I don't call or text much, data is more important to me3
-
Co-worker asked for a call and then when I replied "you can call when ready :) " the reply back is an all caps "IN A MIN"
I'm not the one asking for the call and I'm also not rushing you to have one.
To me all caps means shouting and it puzzles me because while typing it the other person can see it and previous that they aren't using all caps. Why continue using all caps if you aren't angry? 🤷
How do you interpret all caps in a work chat conversation? -
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
#storytime
Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...
CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:
Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.
Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.
Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...
Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).
CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..
CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..
Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....
Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..
CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.
Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.
Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...1 -
So get this, I try making an appointment at the bank twice, they don't call me either time so I call them and they say they'll call me back sooo they never call me back. So today I go to the bank office because fuck it right ill just come in then and guess what I'm told? Oh euh you need an appointment to open a business account LIKE FUCK YOU YOU TWAT I TRIED MAKING AN APPOINTMENT FUCKING TWICE2
-
If you told me in 2010 that Internet Explorer would be discontinued in 5 years or so, I would call you crazy.2
-
So... what the fuck is wrong with people in this company for fucks sake!
Dudes use promises and always call resolve()
Me: And how do you fucking handle errors?!
Dude: Well we call resolve with 2 arguments and error goes first obviously!
Me: why no callbacks for fucks sake!!
Manager(defending the dude): you don't understand we told the client that we would use bluebird promises. Client liked it so much that is why we got the job in the first place!
Me: (jaw opened - silence)....
Dude:(goes out happy for winning the argument)3 -
I built an api to sync data between two systems. It is simple, if I have new data to send, I call their api with data. If success, get Json response back or error if not.
Today the guy from other side asked me for "acknowledgement" endpoint. I was literally WTF?
He explained me very clear, when I call their api, it can be either success or fail, so for those success or fail, he will send the response to my "ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ENDPOINT" to tell me if success or not.
*facepalm*8 -
We noticed that in our landing directory we were receiving duplicate files.
I asked the source to investigate.
He told me that the issue was not at his end. He asked me to mark the issue has been resolved from his end. I refused.
We get on a call to debug the issue. After 30mins he is extremely frustrated. As he was sharing his screen, he runs the command `ls -ltr | uniq -cd` on his server which sends the files and then screams at me "Where are the duplicates? Show me. Check the output. There are no duplicates.".
I first muted the call. Had a good laugh. Made him repeat it to show my team mates. They had a good laugh too.
I then asked him to call it a day. And once you cool down, think about what you just showed me. -
I just LOVE (hate) watching people click on the ad link to YouTube that's not actually YouTube and then call me over to get them out of the spam site.1
-
Pondering on what to call the act of copulation here on DevRant.
Feel free to add your suggestions!
My suggestion is "child class instantiation". One could on rare occasions call it "client server"...
I know, really childish of me, but I'm bored...4 -
people call me insane
they'll see
THEY'LL ALL SEE
***ONCE I FINISH THIS SCRIPT I WILL PROVE TO YOU ALL THAT YOU CAN HIDE TRAFFIC IN GAMES***
i'm tired4 -
I actually don't mind setting up the printer. What I do mind is when they call me when the computer won't even turn on. Like I have spare power supply's just lying around.1
-
So I call my sig other on the phone. At the start of the conversation I, for fun, make the sound of a goat.
me: ba a a a
other: really?
me: What?
other: horny old goat?
me: FFS, Freudian Farm Sounds...1 -
Call me old fashioned, but I still use Owncloud and I intend to do. Nextcloud feels to much "hip'n'cool" and that does not always end well.
https://owncloud.org/news/...12 -
I just had an Indian guy cold call me. He said his name was "Steve Jones." I mean, I suppose he could be a reverse Aziz Ansari, but somehow I doubt it.
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My co-worker ask me today, what is the different between Junior and Senior developer. We can’t call a person senior developer because they have been doing junior stuffs for long time.1
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If you call it Sequel and not S.Q.L and you happen to be from India, I will assume you’re a corporate shmuck. Fight me.13
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I fucking hate sleep destroying on-call. I'd rather you just euthanize me and put me out of my fucking misery.
This idiocy of comparing most dev. on calls it to doctors to on call is fucking stupid unless maybe you're in health care and lives actually might be on the line. Pretty sure a fair number of doctors wouldn't wanna be on call and would rather sleep.
It also doesn't helps that it's not in my contract, I'm not getting paid for it, and I stupidly believed HR when they said I wouldn't need to. Should've trusted the dev.s when interviewing said there is. No way I'm getting out of on call without being fired when we're all on rotation.2 -
Call me when its done => Callback
Call me when it is done => Hooks
Call me when it is done => Events
Anything left ...4 -
Friday/End of the day!
I think is time to push to production!
nothing is gonna happen, noone will call me 🙏2 -
The feeling of evil satisfaction when your boss asks you to build a killswitch into a client's project.
Just call me Zero Cool.4 -
My sister tell her boyfriend she's good at technology, he ask her to start the TV, my sister call me!
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Can I just… drift away into sleep? and call it a day? call it a life? aight, you win, can you just let me go now?2
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I have a friend who started a company and I asked them for a job. He said he would intern me first before coming on as contractor.
He said he'd call me on Friday. I need this job so bad, he better hire me. -
I was just thinking that if i need to setup a log server i'd need to name it properly so this was my conversation with myself:
me: i should name the log server something relevant
inner me: call it log_cabin
me: that's not relevat
inner me: CALL IT LOG_CABIN -
I have a lot of meetings and that makes it difficult to answer my workphone. One guy has been calling me every single time I have a meeting and he never answers when I try to call back.
He can contact me through email, ticketing system or Teams, but nope, he keeps calling my phone.
I send him a message through Teams asking if he can tell what the issue is.
He tells me he will just call me via phone.. Why?! Even calling through Teams would be better! Just tell me what the issue is! -
Me in outsourcing sending questions to teamleader to confirm some details in task.
Respond: can we call via skype
Well ok. So we connected and started talking.
TL - "So rest of task connected to the database will provide my co-worker"
Soo the business analityc sold me the view of what user have to see. We disconected and then it hit me.
He tricked me. He was so good with his sell skills that he covinced me to understand when I actually knew less than before call
My lang skill still are so bad but "learning in progress" -
What's up with recruiters calling the office? Today, a coworker got a call from a recruiter. 5 minutes later I got a call from a lady from an IT Management consulting company asking me if I'm the right person to talk to which I'm quite obviously not (she apparently sent me an email last week, which, if I got it, marked as spam).
In my last job several recruiters called; how could I even talk open on the phone -.- -
Top Challenge from my dev career?
Ppl trying to call me for every little thing. Why can't simply text. -
I've got a call from a recruiter and they said they will call me to arrange an interview..
Hope they call me and everything goes well..
False hope in my situation is very dangerous1 -
New types of calls. Team members need some help from me, I go on call to help them out, once the issue is fixed they just keep me on the call for company while they go about doing their tasks. Dude, even I've work to finish 😑2
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> be me
> client proposed changes
> "Get this done now"
> me "ok I'll get right on it"
> wheresthechangesihavetodobecausethisis_alreadychanged.php
> Call client
> "oh yes, about that, I already did it, thanks"
> ???
> profit -
I heard a lot about phone scammers, every time I go to bank website I read message that they will call me and steal my money. I couldn’t wait to get my scam call.
Finally someone called me poorly pretending to be bank employee.
Scammer: We detected suspicious activity on your account, did you transfer xxxx amount of money to company yyyy ?
Me: Yeees ( waiting excited for more action )
Scammer: ….. thank you …… hang up
Next time I will try donkey sound. -
Ok so these fucks call me back to talk about why their sites are down
1 went into maintenance mode and the other got fucking hacked and they want to pin that shit on me
Fuck these fuckers4 -
Hi who knows a tool for reverse image search on Facebook? Someone blackmail my gf by posting her picture and tagging her as a "call me for sex" hooker...16
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Dear recruiter,
i get that you are doing your job by making phone calls. However you don’t need to call me EVERY FUCKING DAY.
Especially if you have nothing new to say. Also FOUR FUCKING TIMES IN ONE DAY. It’s just too much.
Ofcourse i want to land that perfect job that you have for me, but calling just to call is just fucking annoying.
Also, give me a heads up instead of calling for an hour intake call completely out of the blue.
I have multiple job interviews, maybe you are a bit too eager for your end of the month/year bonus. -
I'm torn between my current boss that gives me freedom and autonomy and my first boss. My first boss taught me development can be fun, especially the hardest parts.
We'll call it a tie. -
Call me late to the party, but the concept of kwargs really helps keep a lot of redundancy and related mistakes to a minimum.1
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Recently I made a dumb mistake :(
I have applied for credit card online and they have call me and asked me for info and send some messages which I need to forward someone that contain codes.
After that they ask for some docs, salary slips and bank statement etc. I got stuck for some tax forms.
So one day they just called that its ok if you can't submit your tax docs , we can make verification through debit card, I thought the call was genuine and I am in cc process, I shared my pin. and wohaaaa. my balance was deducted :( Thats was indeed a scam call.7 -
"This is an easy task, call me when it's done"
5 months later
"well the test of senduser didn't pass"
Me: "this wasn't on the docu"
"oh, let me rewrite it" -
partially tech
Is it just me or every single time* I call to some support after first 30 minutes I really want to ask question "can I talk with someone competent?". And no disrespect to these guys, many people call in with simple stuff, but damn, I try to solve stuff on my own and call in only when I need someone who actually can get somewhat technical and have some knowledge about the product/service/smh. Infuriating.
* one hosting provider proven to be exception. -
Don't judge here fuckers you know it's call DevRant, not DevITalkAboutHowIShouldImproveMyself -
Fuckg "public_actions" and "publish_actions" fucks me once again!1 -
So, our App is gonna go live soon, but on QA Test-Users were gone/not accessable.
PM is full edge, since there's a presentation in 30min. Tells me to call the Clients host again (Since they manage the users) so it gets done. And I may not hang up till it is.
Issue is, I already called the dude 3 times within 10min already, and as I call him again, he gets furious (obv.) that I call him all day and nag that that shit geta done.
Good shit, now both have an anger on me. ffs1 -
God - this code is disgusting! Well, let me just try to change this one repo call to return an Optional...
"Hey! The app is broken! What did you do?!?!"
God dammit... -
More senior team member: If you would like to get in on call rotation. Do this
Me: Why the heck would I *want to* be on call?
Going on on call in two days lol6 -
One person costs me money the other is done with something that provides me with something the whole day
These bastards just reward people acting like lunatics
Besides I was gonna call and complain -
There are people who develop Neural Networks/Deep Learning Models/AI based Softwares.
Does anybody know what do we call them? Is it okay to call all of them Machine Learning Engineer/AI researcher/AI engineer?
If I'm looking for someone who can make AI based program for me. Whom should I be looking for on freelancer or LinkedIn?1 -
Nice. It took me two hours to figure out that Helm was reading from the wrong config file. Two fucking hours. I'll just blame it on Covid-19 and call it a day.1
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