Some dude asked me if I like demons

> Yeah I do, I am sure it would be hard having a working system without any daemons

He probably think that I am a retard, atleast the feeling is mutual

A little while ago someone here posted something about a piece of software called Pi-Hole. To that person, i wanted to say THANK YOU!!! It is probably one of the best things i ever added to my network!

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

This tini tiny forky bomby is so cute than you probably want to execute it... at least in a VM / Container.

The best time to buy bitcoin was when it was released

The second best time was a few years ago when it was only like $200/btc

The third best time was probably last year before they went up 650% in value

The worst time is apparently whenever I buy in

bitchface micromanager keeps telling me i don't communicate enough, don't do enough, am not fast enough, etc.

So i've been sending her a weekly summary of ~50 bullet points of things I did during the week, issues encountered, workarounds found, research findings, who i talked to, etc. all organized by task with links to the tickets.

My work volume hasn't increased (probably decreased, actually) but it certainly looks like I'm doing a lot. probably because i am? but she doesn't listen during standup, so... victory by a hundred bullet points it is!

Just set up a Vim profile on my keyboard. Is it going to help me any? Probably not. But it does look cool!

Well, after lurking in the dark for years, I finally created an account just so I could downvote a certain security related post.
However, I am lacking the necessary ++.
So a "hello, world!" with a sprinkle of rant it is:

Be me:
Show WIP Feature, state that it will be probably done by tomorrow, excluding time for peer review
Be my PM:
"Can we release this today?"

This happend so often that "Can we release this yesterday?" became a common phrase among my coworkers and me if someone is ranting about something broken in their feature. Probably gonna try using it here as well :D

I saw this yesterday and thought it's kind of nice. Probably not everybody will understand it as it's German. But the level of creativity is definitely gratifying

Difference between machine learning and AI:

If it is written in Python, it's probably machine learning

If it is written in PowerPoint, it's probably AI

Oh dear, another Tuesday!
That means I'll probably get chewed out for something in front of the entire company. What for, you ask? The boss is inventive, so it could be anything.

Instead, I'm calling in sick and taking the day off. 😊

Feature request for @dfox:
Swiping for rants:
Left = nay, right = yay
Or better:
Match making via rants for devSingles.

Just kidding! I love devRant the way it is. It's the best app. Probably the best of all. It's huge. You'll like it.

Found this in my dad's house.

Looks as if he didn't used it.

Any one know how to install this somehow? (Even though it is impossible, probably)

Yep... That's probably how it actually is and why everything I get is high priority...

First tor relay is up and running. Works well, all good.

Want a faster one as well (nearly 1gbs) and trying to set it up but the control port won't get its fucking ass up. No clue what's going wrong :/

Probably missing something but idk what.

Grrrrrr.

If your issue is not on StackOverflow and you can't find it on the web:

Go another way, you're probably doing something very wrong!

(I have solved many problems remembering this)

You keyboard is probably the thing that you will touch the most in your whole life, you should choose it carefully.

I had this meeting with this new client and where talking about the possibility to exchange data.

And he told how his company now has everything in the cloud and if we also have it in the cloud it should already be connected since it's both in the cloud.

I tried to explain that because its both in the cloud that does not mean it's connected to each other. We still need to develop a way to exchange data.

On wich I got the answer that our data probably is not in the real cloud.

In the end I just said that we can probably exchange data but it the easiest way to accomplish this is talking to someone who maintain the data in your cloud. And we could adapt our system to theirs.

Sometimes it's hard to communicate with less tech savvy people about tech stuff. Explaining things in a way they understand but also is technical correct.

Dear Apple, fuck you for the iPad pro, it is probably the hardest device to do web design in mind.

It is at that point where it's screen is technically declared laptop size but just too big for being declared tablet...

Fuck you...

I’ve begun to notice a distinct pattern with devs. I realise it has probably always been there but Im just thinking out loud as Ive started to actively notice it.

*Dev has literally one problem with a library/framework/environment*

“Holy crap <NAME> is the worst thing ever!! its actually worse than an STD. whoever made it needs to quit making software and become a goat farmer” (paraphrasing of course)

What is it with us that the second we have difficulty with a library or framework we immediately brand it as a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity?

I know this is probably gonna be unpopular but whatever; fuck vim, fuck emacs! A text editor should by default take in standard accepted characters and command form the keyboard without being all hipster "I'm so niche and alternative" about it. You are a text editor so let me enter teeeeeexxxxt!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! $£^$%^^$%

Friend: Can you write me a discord bot?
Me: Sure, I guess.
Me: *thinking* I can probably do it in 2 hours or less*
Me: *2 hours later* why does this API work like that and why the fuck is my node module folder so big???

My potato lagged with the temperature too high error message.

So I decided to operate on it. Last operation was about 40months ago or more.

Every time I opened and reassemble something, I always ended up with extra screws (check comments). Wish they were gold 🤔

And this is probably the last operation I could perform on it. I must save fast to buy a desktop 😥

Foday my father argued with me that:
* "HTML programmers" get payed a lot
* WordPress is awesome
* wordpress programmers get payed a lot
* WordPress doesn't need to be secure
* FileMaker is 100% virus-free (probably malware free), because not many people use it
* UX and UI design are exactly the same

Just signed the contract for renting my first ever place today, and tomorrow is my first day of work as a software developer at a large company... It's been a crazy weekend, and tomorrow is probably gonna be even crazier! Little bit nervous tho... We'll see how it goes

The startup life culture is probably killing a lot of talent and taking away peace of mind.

Everything is needed
- too fast
- to work well

Forcing people to compromise on personal life and health.

It also takes away the interest to work on something as an interesting problem and makes it feel like "just another job to get finished".

It's a weird feeling when you find yourself wondering why the button is not responding, only to realize you've been clicking on the design mockup and not the actual web app you're making...

...at least it probably means the implementation is getting really close to the design.

I should probably clean the sink there is a strange mushroom thingy growing from the drainage...

Meh I will do it later.

Anybody wants a picture of my sink mushroom ?

Me in my head: I've got this great idea for an app. You can probably build it in a hour. This is going to be awesome!

Ten minutes later: Screw this, can't be bothered anymore. What's on tv.?

My mom's laptop is always on 80-90% CPU even in idle and it is obviously hella slow and I am the one who has to work with it usually (since my mom is too afraid to use any kind of technology and can't remember any of her passwords), I tried to solve it but I came to the conclusion that the problem is probably Windows 10 itself. Okay, the hardware is bad too but still.

I started thinking about installing Linux on it, but It's not my laptop and I do not want to mess it up and I never did it before.

them: "This external HD isn't compatible with my Mac."
me: "It is, it probably just needs to be formatted."
them: *hands me box, with HD still in plastic wrap*

So, how do you know it's not compatible?

I often get this question:
"I have this old computer. Can you fix it?"

My brother is a helicopter pilot, and he will probably never get this question:
"I have this old helicopter, that is literally falling apart. Will you fly it for me?"

during code review...
peer: "you should pass this variable, and extract the logger from it"
me: "why? it is a 3 line logging function. why not pass the logger instance?"
peer: "because that is our best practice. It is the way we do things"
me: "why is it a best practice?"
peer: "because it is. We use it everywhere!"
me: "No we don't. And I still don't understand why is this a best practice. can you explain?"
peer: gives ups, did not look at the mr, and was not going to.

mr stays open. probably forever.

This is probably dumb, but I felt genuinely let down when there were no options for facial hair for my female avatar.

I actually waited for a moment, thinking maybe it was just taking a minute to load, but then it hit me :'(

My manager is instructing my team to add a feature that can only be enabled for users by running an update script in the database.

When I argued that it's not really "complete" if it can't be turned on without someone going into the production database, I was told that not only is it complete, but they plan to have our non-technical customer service enable it for customers if the customer requests it...

Apparently giving everyone and their brother write access to prod is a good idea, but implementing a checkbox is a "waste of time and would cost too much money".

Probably going to float my resume... :-p

So to start off this happened today while I was at school.

Each student gets a netbook for school and the amount of restrictions put in place are probably up to government spec. Well I brought in my personal netbook and a flash drive with a few distros of Linux on it on it to mess with during study hall(all on my own hardware).

I told my friend that about it and said I doubted it would boot because the bios is password protected and the IT guy probably removed external drives from the boot list but let him use it anyway.

5 minutes later he is showing me his screen with Ubuntu running on it, I was freaking out some and asked for it back and he gave it back to me.

About a minute later he shows me his screen. All black with white text shooting down it saying windows disk integrity check or something like that. All I see is "file xyz deleted" and was freaking out even more. I just sat there for the next 20 minutes thinking of how to explain this to the IT guy and hopefully get in less trouble.

Finally after the longest 20 minutes of my life as a student I see the windows 7 boot screen appear. Probably the one time I actually wanted to see it honestly but I was so happy to see the end of the situation.

Sorry this was so long but I hope it's fine for a first post here, I've been putting it off but after this decided to finally post.

We are currently building a CRM for a company, and we have to demo it for some of the users, two guys start asking couple of questions.

Them: what it is built with?.
Me:PHP, do you know it?
Them: No we only know WordPress.
Me: well WordPress is built with PHP.
them: Ah that's probably why we thought it looked like WordPress.
Me: yeaaah probably... sure :)

Just pushed a 400+ line stored procedure in production. It's fucking magic and is probably never gonna be touched because no one will understand it and because "it works".

VSCode, the only thing I hate about this is, it becomes too lag after I left it too long. Probably because of the vin extension, I typed something and it only came out 1/2 seconds and I have to restart my laptop 😭

if something is too easy in life, you're probably doing it wrong.

NO STRUGGLE. NO PROGRESSION. IN THIS LIFFFÉE.

You probably know the "marshmellow experiment": have one marshmellow now, or delay the gratification by some time, then get two. What the experiment is supposed to measure is something like intelligence or impulse control.

Hot take: what it also measures, and much more so when it comes to reality, is trust. If I don't trust the other side to be both able and willing to deliver on the promise later, I will rather secure the smaller reward right now.

I know you folks in Europe and elsewhere in the world probably take this sort of thing for granted, but it is really unusual here in the US. When our daughter is born next month, I will be entitled to 12 weeks of paid leave, which my boss (great guy, btw) has encouraged me to take fully.

My concern is that I have projects, and twelve weeks is enough time that they would probably die on the vine, even if/when I hand them off to someone else.

It's stressful, and I need a way to deal with it.

That feeling when you see your deployed code running smoothly is probably more satisfying (almost orgasmic) than it should be...???

So building a game engine and everything's internal name is wood/axe/lumberjack themed...

Started work on the scripting language and gave it the code name faggot script... Took me 48 hours to realise I should probably change that...

Wtf is all this talk of AI regulation all of the sudden? We have barely achieved anything on AI and they already wanna put chaines on it?

Just because people are pussies who are afraid that skynet will develop rape-robots who go around giving std's to everybody they see doenst mean there should be regulations on something thats still in diapers.

ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS PROBABLY GOING TO BE DONE BY FUCKING POLITICIONS WHO PROBABLY THINK AI ONLY MEANS KILLER ROBOTS.

The online funeral live stream just broke. The 4G* connection at the place is awful, which is probably the reason for it...
*If it even has 4G now, it definitely didn't a few years ago

Germany keeps jerking itself off how amazing our economy and science is. We're a country of engineers and all that.
Yet our digital infrastructure is a fucking joke.

Rural area? Well better hope you'll get any reception, let alone 4G.
Oh and cable connections? I've seen areas that will give you a 6 Mbit/s DSL connection.

Nope, in my place it is...

1. Chrome
2. IE

Thank me later when you get a job here, probably shouldn't

Docker is funny.

I'll try to fire up docker-compose and it will freak out.

Docker Error: "Oh man! Oh man! Something is wrong! It's probably not docker it's YOUR CONTAINER!!!! WTF DUDE!!!"

Me: "Uh docker ... your little systray icon indicates docker itself is broken right now...""

Docker: "No way man, i'm sure it's your fucked up container, must be something wrong with it!!!"

Me: "I'm just gonnna restart you."

Docker: "OK but I'm just say'n th----"

-restarts docker-

-restarts docker-compose-

Docker: "OMG It's up!!!!"

!rant

A few days ago, one could have said that C++ is giving me PTSD.
Now, I've come to adore, cherish and love it for it's simplicity.

It feels so much better than Java.
No shit on java, it's good in what it does but damn boi C++ can do like, fucking everything.

Probably still gonna gib me PTSD in a week or so but fuck it.

The MS Teams SDK is bullshit. It's so half baked and comes with instructions like "you'll probably want a better implementation for production, good luck cause you'll have to write it yourself."

Oh and don't forget to cache your installations in a file called "notifications.json"

Deploying will create 2 app registrations (OIDC) and about 6 resources in Azure... But "you'll probably want to log to app insights in production"... So I hope you're very familiar with Bicep cause you'll have to figure out how to add that to your template properly and there are about 7 Bicep files to decipher and it doesn't create an app insights out of the box.

Probably written by an intern.

FUCK, I just realized something..

A lot of people are probably aware of the statement "Respect is earned, not demanded/given".

Now, if you are aware of the meme "Press F to *pay respect*", you probably know where this goes.

The statements "pay respect" and "respect is earned" are actually connected. Just like money, you pay money to people who deserve it. You work hard for it.

But if this is true, is "attention" also earned? I often hear "Please pay attention" from my teachers back then.

This is some big brain shit right here

My phone crashed (probably bricked), so I had to return it to the retailer for repairs.

They lend me a phone until mine returns from the shop. It is ancient. I feel like an archaeologist.

If you just git add . by instinct, you're already dead inside

Instead, consider checking out the diffs of your changes before staging them, and then stage the files or directories individually

Of course I'm saying this to complain about my colleagues who stage and commit things they shouldn't, it probably doesn't apply to small side projects, but staging individually is probably a good habit to have

FFS, just because they do it that way on a competitor website doesn't mean it is either good, right or the best way to do it. My next door neighbours car number plate is held on with gaffa tape, im not about to copy that and suggest everyone should do it. Dim fucking irrational, know it all clients. GO FUCK YOURSELVES!! From my research i could probably run your business better than you anyway, your whole fucking outlook is fundamentally flawed. Cunts!

I use this timer app... probably more than most people (for food). It works fine and looks nice but the undismissable warning message is a real eyesore. Why not just let me dismiss the message.... why...

Ask yourself a couple of simple questions:
Do you like to code?
Do you like to learn new things and improve?
Do you like to solve problems and spend hours on a single detail until it finally works?

If your answers contain a "no", then development is probably not for you. You will hate it and you will suck at it. And you will make lifes of devs who actually love it miserable. So do something else.

Y'all probably remember the terrible selfie of the Zuck with the Eiffel Tower announcing the Metaverse for France? I just had the thought, that it is certainly cheaper for me to buy a plane ticket to Paris and make an actual selfie with the Tower, than to buy a Quest Pro headset.

My mom asked me to speed up her PC's startup process. I looked into it and and probably found the problem: G Data.

I told her she has to delete it, there is windows defender anyways (and virus scanners are just snake oil). She refused and said: But I bought it from the local IT shop. They said it is the best.

I said: Yeah because they cannot sell windows defender...

She still argued that she paid for it and wants to keep it.

That was were I said: then enjoy your slow startups.

She also said she feels more secure with it. 🙄

I would not even be able to work with that PC! Its not old at all, but the permanent scanning comes at a high cost and probably does not help much.

But she trusts that local it store guy more than me apparently.

i find it interesting that the intent when this app was created was probably to let people rant about bugs and stupid errors, post dev memes, and it has evolved to a point where we hear a lot of rants related to the work environment. my guess is that the rest of the internet is so visible and damning that this became a safe space where we can discuss work relations with less fear.

i love that the community here is so supportive in these matters :)

C is probably my favorite programming language. I use it for learning new concepts and implementing algorithms.

It's just sometimes I hate that I have to do everything myself when I need to focus on the solution/concept instead.

P.S., I hate C++ from all my heart. It's an abomination and a deformity of C.

IBM is taking a shit in our mouths. I suppose we should have seen this coming, but almost our entire environment runs on CentOS. Not only will we have to find a new distro (which will probably be CoreOS with kube, bleh) but we'll have to get everyday trained up on it.

There's a lotta memes about Google spazzing out whenever you log into a new device, but Fitbit is even worse lol

I not only get a notification that my Fitbit's battery is low, I also get a fucking email about it.

Like y'all chill out. I know it's low.

I'm sure this can be disabled somewhere, but I'mma probably get a new watch soon so I'm too lazy to deal with it

Versioning is like fart. If you have to force to push it, it's probably shit.

Ref: Reddit

Probably a lot of you can relate, which is "it is easy to implement such a tiny feature, how could it possibly be difficult" from a PM that has never programmed before...

The most amazing thing about Google probably is that its creators couldn't use Google when creating it! :)

Your identity is the most valuable thing you have.

Losing it for whatever reason, for example to be like your partner or your parents want you to be is probably the most wrong thing to do.

Probably the worst security I've ever seen is a website I used to visit that had their "Forgot your password?" system change the password of the account to the user's username and didn't even send an email confirmation before doing it.

1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.

2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.

3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛

4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.

5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.

6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.

7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.

I'd like a power button on the outside of my laptop so I don't have to open it.

I think 90% of the time I turn my laptop on ... it is closed and "docked" with a bunch of cables running to it and ... probably another laptop on top of it.

I probably just found out that a table in our db has two columns for the same thing. And yes, the numbers are non-trivial and do not always match each other. My senior is now looking into it and it seems hilariously painful.

So today I opened one Android app to check smog levels in my area and this happened (NaN %). Someone who made this app smokSmog probably didn't find out that NaN can happen. I am really interested if it is because sensor has no data or is it a problem inside the app

Probably the smallest, most inconsequential rant I'll write here, but - is it that hard for websites with a main search input or login field on their landing page to put its tab index to 1?

I mean, my mouse is all the way over *there* ~

Probably gonna quit dev and get a job outdoors. Dev sucks dick, is too boring, and it is too political for me

Lets play a game of spot the bug...

Too easy you say?
What if I told you that this code was written by a well paid dev over an exceptionally large period of time?

Crazy huh, but that's still nothing. The most ludicrous thing about it - is that you (like me) probably suffer from a mild case of impostor syndrome.

I just ended that suffering. The only thing worse than impostor syndrome is believing you actually know what the fuck your doing. Keep it in check but learn to love it... it's probably the reason you could spot the bug after all.

Today, Linux kernel 5.8 was released, here is how it runs on my new laptop.

- Realtek shit ethernet still doesn't work (no, I didn't return it, because I would have to buy at least 2 times as expensive docking station instead and it is just not worth it), but considering Realtek, it is probably not a Linux kernel issue
- Battery life while watching videos was improved pretty significantly from 6.5 hours to about 7.3 hours (1080p HEVC)
- All temperature sensors are now working correctly
- Fan is a little more silent overall, probably because of some power draw improvements
- Subjectively, the system is a little bit more responsive overall

It has been months that I am not working productively. Probably almost a year. I am not sure. Especially development related work. I would only start work at the very very late last minute (mainly because of clients and deadlines) and the outcome is usually very poor. Something is definitely wrong with me.

Database lost connection to the application.
Chaos.
Anybody did anything on the network?
Silence.
Go to datacenter and start reviewing cables.
Nobody touch anything on the weekend? Really? It is not possible...
45min later looking into connectivity tracing... I just overhear:
"I just changed a switch, but nothing else. This is probably the DB having a hiccup."

Ughhhh! I hate our cable network maintenance!!

For the last time, SLOC is not a measure of anything.
Have too many, the code probably isn't DRY.
Have too few, you probably don't follow a style guide and have 120 char lines because you invented "oneliners" which you were so proud of that you had to put it in there.
Have just the right amount, and the code likely suffers from both of these at the same time.

This is a true story. We had this subject, called “Web Design” (really, “design”), where we studied HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP and MySQL (confusing, right?). And when we get the PHP (e-)book, it was this old PDF (probably downloaded illegally) teaching the legacy 4.0 version of PHP. Anyway, when we had to develop the final project, the sane professor allowed us to use a newer version of PHP — 5.2, released on 2008. I had to follow the rules, so I developed probably the less secure web application I will ever develop. That means no protection from SQL injection, XSS vulnerable and a bunch of other security holes… And that’s how they liked it developed!

Serious question: why all the hate on PHP?

I've been using it as my main language, and genuinely like it. Tried Java but find that to be typing a fuckload to get the same task done. Javascript is nice, but still, i prefer PHP (probably mostly because i know it).

Just really curious, what have i been missing?

!dev
The universe is made of electrons, neutrons, Protons and morons..

You probably know that one but I still enjoy it..

Maybe this one is new to you:
2 guys walk into a bar.
P1: I’ll take a glass of H2O.
P2: I’ll take some H2O, too.

The second guy died..

What I need is an automatic banner that pops up at the top of the screen, saying:
YOU'RE ON THE WRONG BRANCH YOU RETARD
In big red letters.
No idea how to go about automating that, and I suspect it would probably be on the screen more or less permanently, but I reckon it's a useful tool.

Why?! Just why?!
I just upgraded LibreOffice on my Linux machine. To version 7.3.0.3.

Now every time I press save it just selects the save button box. Then I have to press it again to save. What is the reason for such a massive UI fail?

To cope I will probably just hit ctrl-s.

Got a new guy. Having a dumb meeting. New guy is humblebragging. It is making the dumb meeting longer. I feel angry. Like Warren Moon must have felt in 1995. He is a PhD. That's probably why. Ugh.

Has anyone heard of the new OS that Google develops. Fuchsia. It is now not based on Linux but Magenta (Developed by Google) and will probably not use Java but Dart

Just in case anyone has missed it: VSauce is probably one of the best channels on youtube. Just so that no one misses out

I just found out today , that my pm had mistakenly committed the email id and password of his account(which he probably used for testing) in the public repo in github.
Although he subsequently removed it, I can see it in commit history.

The point is.....
I don't kinda like him...
Any mean ideas....?

I think tech recruiters will be among the first to have their job taken over by AI. Even I can write an "AI" that goes through LinkedIn profiles, doesn't read them at all, and sends their owners a job posting chancing it might be relevant.

Probably the only reason it hasn't happened already is LinkedIn's TOS.

...Cheaper and at least as effective as the real thing.

I really don't mind it as long as the work is on track but damn it hurts to read the git commit messages with messed up spellings. In some cases it's not just that, but variable names, file names, etc. as well.

English isn't the first language in my country and a lot of people are not as proficient with it so it's probably not appropriate to judge, but the cringe is real.

Sometimes I wonder if I am that cringeworthy person to someone else.

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

I kind of just came to an insight that my computer is sort of my partner in crime.

I "teach" it how to do something that I'm probably better of not doing or should do in moderation... But then it gives me access to so much of the stuff, I spend a lot more time doing it... more effectively.

So I actually don't save much time because it makes it easier so I now do even more...

I would post some screenshots but its uhh..... NSFW... at least this one is.

Step 1: It is at least 1am, I am reasonably tired.
Step 2: I figure I need to be productive at some point.
Step 3: Browse random websites until the end of time (probably 20m of nonsense)
Step 4: Suddenly I'm super motivated to actually get something done, slapping some music on and starting to work until I fall straight into bed.

Good days.
Seriously, the thing that motivates me the most is probably music.

Probably my favorite item is the canister I use as a pen/squishy ball holder. My Dad gave it to me; it's part of a self rescue respirator from the salt mine he works at.

I got to go down in the mine several years ago, pretty awesome. It's around 700ft deep underground and is fully self supporting; down there everything is salt, the walls, floor and ceiling.

Slogging through half baked code, I wondered to myself... Who the fuck is Robert and where is he?

Quickly searching through Google and finding a handful of results I see that he had left long ago. Probably leaving for good reason. I'll never be able to ask him though. Never will I know why he left. He probably has a very sensible reason, but goddamn do I wish he left something that I could use to discern what he has created.

There is no documentation, no reasonable information about why anything was built the way it was, only just mountains of rusty ass baren code to scale down.

Had this life not turned out the way it is. Had you not been a dev, what would you imagine you would have been?

I'll go first.. i would probably have been a librarian or a security guard. Someone with lot of time at hand to read.

So I have this idea of a potentially amazing idea but I'm so conflicted as to whether or not it is a good idea (I know it will probably never happen) but it's really hard to put it in writing for people's opinions and input on it...

Anyone else have these moments?

Am I the only one that doesn't like Java? I mean I don't hate it or say it's bad. It's pretty clear that it has been probably the most influential language after C. I just don't like how typed and verbose it is, also I feel old just using it or something based on it (like Jenkins)

Kubernetes is actually sick. I love learning about it and playing around with localized clusters. The only thing that sucks is I would never use this for anything while I'm still a CS student. And I probably won't ever use this if I'm not in Devops. *sigh*. fun to learn about, regardless.

first off, i think this may be out of scope but either way.

i think along the rants, a tag seperated section for programmer tips could be pretty neat :)

i'll start off, my tip of today would be: if it seems too complex, it probably is.
consider refactoring by splitting into multiple smaller parts or even its own seperate API. :)

After reading so many peoples rants about Wix ads, I have been asking myself, "Why in the fuck are people on here seeing Wix ads? What in the hell happened to their adblock?! Did their adblock quit? Is adblock missing? Why is no one concerned that adblock is missing?! We need milk cartons and a search party formed ASAP!"

Repost from Reddit, i will probably do another with certain color theme, i just prefer this to be 'dark' build as it is how i initially immagined it.
I plan on expanding with certain micro pc, as server, 3d printer and some true hifi.
Suggestions?

Being 26 learning to code with intention to do it for a living is hard, I wish I never gave up the first time I attempted to learn a programming language when I was 16 I'd probably be making a shit ton of money...

I think I'm a good developer. I have pretty decent debugging skills, including pulling apart disassembled x86 and other architecture code.

I'm fascinated by how things work.

But almost everything is catered for by a library. Or has already been done.

I find it enjoyable to create a library or program myself, but get disheartened when I find some library or program that is written seemingly very well, compared to my own code. And then I start to think I'm not a good developer after all.

Sort of relates to my previous rant about repeatedly rewriting code.

Applies to me doing programming as a hobby but probably affects my code at work as well... I just can't help but think my code is probably awful compared to what someone else might write.

...then I see incredibly ugly, messy, badly written code by other people and I feel better...

I suppose it is like an artist who sees amazing works but cannot paint to that standard, but is well beyond drawing stick figures with crayons.

Sounds like a trivial problem but it probably impedes my progress with a lot of things.

"This is now urgent we are in risk of breach of contract."

*travels an hour just to discuss*

"Oh don't worry, don't panick about it, so and so is probably sorting it. We most likely don't need it."

!dev

Swedish winters are weird, I can't remember last time we had snow around Christmas. Today it's white everywhere outside, but I doubt it is because it has fallen snow tonight. It's probably just the frost...

When I got X up and running at 1am for the first time on my first computer, 486 SX 25MHz with 8 MB or ram.

The program SuperProbe is probably depicted now, but it got me up and running back then.

Have you heard of "Thunder client"? Meh... That shit is cool. I came across it on my YouTube recommendations, installed and gave it a try. I'm probably not going back to postman.

Snapchat is by far the worst app ever developed. I like the concept but the actual development of the app is fucking garbage. It hurts my head that they haven't given a fuck about usability, optimisation or anything for that matter considering its one of the top social media platforms. It disgusts me, though Instagram has completely ripped off Snapchat in so many ways; they've done a hell of a better job at it and if people weren't so tired to SC I'm sure it would be dead by now.

Slow UI, slow gestures, probably the highest amount of bugs and crashes, shit camera because it thinks it can do a better job than the native API at rendering, painfully slow upload, stupid "featured" stories that you cannot get rid off and slow the fuck out of the app, battery drain even worse than FB, oh and not to forget that once you accidentally enable your location it's impossible to switch it off, the best you can do is hide it from everyone. I can probably go on and on with the endless issues this shit has.

I really hope that the Raspberry Pi 4 is going to have more performance than the models of the "third gen". I would probably use it as a desktop computer when it's just for browsing and chatting, as opposed to my current PC which I'm sure draws a lot of power while idling or having only little to do.

Just read a feature request which asked for full-app localization. The dickhead closed the request with the comment: 'since this is a small request it should probably be added to the top of the wishlist, besides you are a dutch company anyway'.

The nerve on some people

Today, i discovered thus beauty within our legacy code:

// TODO: this is probably the most dirty thing in our product. It needs a model more than anything else

This captions a crappy part of controller code for several years :/

Fuck I am so screwed... Spent an hour + trying to implement a Trie except I didn't know it was called a Trie... and don't remember how to implement one...

I am so fcked for my technical interview/test i m planning to take this weekend...

It's like I know i've seen this problem before and the brute-force way probably won't work... but after an hour trying to implement the right way... i just go fck it...

and lo and behold... it doesnt work..

Google the solution and the code is like less than 100 lines... and probably took the guy 10 minutes to write...

Don't know.

All I know is that I suck at calculus but I write good code.
Weird.

If I would have to decide, early on I wrote random stuff 'til it worked.
Then I attempted to comprehend what I just did and started reading books.

That's probably when I first understood what I was doing.

Blender3D

Probably the most feature rich, frequently updated oss for computer graphics ever.

The project really captures the spirit of open source, most notably with it's open movie projects.

It does have a pretty steep learning curve, but taking the time to lean it is totally worth it. Not to mention comparable Autodesk software will run you thousands of $$$

My IT-teacher has a website. Aside from it looking like from 1980 (which is ok), he has a "security js Mail decryption":
In his page there is a <script> with a simple yet custom de/encrypt function. Then his E-Mail is an <a href="javascript:mailto:function('rubberish173848'>private email</a>. (Or something like that)

You can just run this link (open email app and read it) or use the same function and same href in the browser console and read it. It sounds so stupid.

(Yet I figured out he probably doesn't want bots to spam his mail, so maybe I am stupid)

From perfectly working scrum team to... Don't know what it is now...
Long story short - our SM left company and our team have ongoing "reorganization", our tester leaving at the end of this month, probably we will be out of tester for next month...

I don't mean reorganization, it's normal thing, but... It looks like it's slowly collapsing under bad head decisions (one of them is the reason why our tester is leaving)... Multiple "side" projects / tasks for ppl in team and problems with delivering sprint tasks on time because of it, context switching etc.

I fucking like this project, it gives me much opportunities to learn new things and design new features - it's up to us how we will implement it. Client is satisfied with our work and we worked for their trust for long time. But if things will be going same way as now, we will probably lose it.

How do you think, is it worth to try stay with this project? Or should I update CV just in case?

If you think : I should probably refactor this. Just do it. Especially if is your code.

Saw lots of regret posts about being in dev field. Then why bother living that way?

Not like engineering, medicine or business management fields, I believe programming needs passion similar to art related careers like acting, music and painting etc. So if you don't have any passion for programming, you won't be successful or satisfy at all.

That doesn't mean it is all good and happy days for every passionate programmers. We sure have ****ed up days (probably more than other fields.) Seriously that's why we have devrants. No? But it doesn't reach to the point of regret to me.

Here our national programming language is probably PHP. The pays are lower than your part-time fast food chain workers. The internet speed is in kbs with 2 digits most of the places. Government doesn't give a crap about IT. No IP copyright laws and so on. I probably would earn more and live better if I were not running this IT business.

But hell yeah I never regret at all.

Once again, we delivered our semester project and this time, we added working concurrency to an existing functional language compiler, which is pretty cool. But I'd probably be more happy if I had been developing more on the compiler than once again being stuck writing the fucking paper because none would be arsed to write it otherwise...

Really excited about Google Chat/RCS.
My mobile provider is probably the first one to support it in Austria!

This place sucks. What happened? (Fuck you rutee, it is probably your fault, bald cunt).

Midnight sever deploys and maintenance might kind of suck to do, but it is probably the closest we will get to going on a top secret mission!

JavaScript is a functional language.

It's probably closer to ocaml than it is to java. Why the fuck does no one talk about this? I would have learned it sooner.

Probably everyone at least once had situation when they receive a meaningless screenshot with 500 page, a message "Application doesn't work fix it" and 0 info whatsoever.
Here is my tip that saved me a lot of trouble.
I display error id in the center of the screen, large enough so no matter how small and blurry the image is (yes users, send us photos of theirs displays) , It is always easy to ready it so we can start investigation without talking to those monkeys.

I get listening to music while you code, but I’m afraid I just can’t believe in watching a TV show while you code. You’re not coding, you’re watching a show. Or if you are coding, the level of code that’s being written is probably low enough to make it a waste of time.

Learning to code is like learning to write when you were younger. It can be sloppy or clean but if you keep at it it'll probably become clean. But, with these sites like code academy that accept only one solution to the problems they present it's as though you're being told that everything you're doing is wrong eventhough you get a solution to the problem in the end. It bugs me that these sites want people to code the exact same way.

ChatGPT has an "interactive speech mode" in their app so you can use just bidirectional audio to chat and it's incredible.

I had a deep and pivoting discussion on how data is stored/formatted at disk level for each database type and it responded wonderfully.

It even sounded annoyed when I was 😅

It probably will sell my voice data now though...

So we started using Jenkins at work. Which is pretty cool so i wanted to watch some YouTube videos about it in my spare time.
But 99% of those videos are made by Indians and they are probably good videos but i just can't handle the accent. =/

Most of you probably hate it but is there any sharepoint devs around here?

Stuck at an unordinary customer request.

What the fuck is going on with atom in my desktop?!!?!?
Everytime I open it it starts comparing every single file on my pc with my github. It starts using 99% of my memory and fuck is it frustrating. I decided to just learn vim, which is cool, although I still miss managing windows with the mouse, and probably will try VS sometime in the future. I really wanted to like atom but I can't stand how slow it is compared to vim right now, even when the github shit doesn't happen.

Being a programmer or dev is a lot like being a chef: (I've done both)
Sure it's something anyone can just jump in on with minimal experience, and probably make a little thing that kinda looks cool to the layman, but it takes experience and hard lessons to make something that will impress the judges.

So are there WhatsApp users who now also would want to migrate after the new terms & conditions to something like Signal, but know that nobody in their contacts will probably migrate as well?
I hate it that you're basically forced to stay on WhatsApp because everybody (at least for me) is using it and 90% of the users probably don't care.
Im gonna try and see whether or not I can 50/50 them, but I'm scared that WhatsApp is simply too big to have people transition... Using it as a safer sms app is quite useless because well, it's basic sms and nobody in my direct contact circles uses texts (neither do I want to do that tbh).

"Write the failing test first."

Oh, I know. This is probably simple, but when you're stuck on support tickets - there's no faster way than to write a test for whatever the issue is and run it.

You wind up having a quick way to verify your bug fix and you now have a test going forward to ensure the bug never happens again.

New question to ask potential employers: What makes this work so difficult? is it innovative or in a challenging domain? Or is it because of a poorly documented, poorly maintained code base between multiple groups that can't agree on terminology?
Though if you ask, you should probably be more polite than I am hearing this in my head.

I hate fucking "managers"

The idiot that got a referral bonus, and kept it, is one.

Ffs I helped her for months in my previous company. Now she probably makes more than me.

This kind of BS makes me mad

" - The password must have 6 digits
- It must have at most 2 repeated digits and 3 sequentials"

RIGHT, because 293417 is SO much safer than 999123

Btw, this is a phone company, so with this password you could probably have access to someone's phone number, phone records, address, and much more. WTF

Reporting server connection to database is down, probably due to a user access restriction.

reported the issue to the India sql datacenter and got back: Yes, We see that the connection is down. ( I sent them screenshot of it including the error message ) There is no such database available.
Me: Yes, well I'm in the db working right ( send screenshot) now.
India: ..... disappear offline.

Me: Yea, Linux is great! Screw Windows!
*Touchpad stops working on startup
Me: It's fine, it could happen on Windows...
*Laptop fans start blasting at 100% during class
Me: It's uhh, probably just a simple thing, nothing to worry about....
*Restarts computer after updating. Screen completely black, even after restarting multiple times.
Me: Oh FFS....

Can't sleep, thinking about this side project I'm going to start tomorrow.

Which is probably going to last for about 2 days or 3 days, after that it will be a inactive repository, like every other side project.

FML

I have a demo meeting tmr but the web app written by the junior dev is in crap state. Forget about new features and bug fixes, I probably won't even be able to correct and clear all the spaghetti codes. So instead of working on it, I am trying to encourage myself by creating quotes images.

There is a big difference between IT and CS, the first has a lot of monkeys because most of the hiring managers don't ask technical interview questions that screen out monkeys... Probably because.... **Hmmmm thinking of a nice way to say it** They don't know any better...

I like fridays because I convince myself that this is the weekend I will do some hardcore programming. Instead it is usually the weekend I spend more time finding a new series to watch than actually coding.

Should probably docker-compose down and stop kidding myself since constantly thinking you will do some work next takes away from actually relaxing and you end up worse off.

I usually like PHP, because it is easy to use, but FUCK! Can you just let me free the fucking memory by myself? Setting variable to null doesn't work, unset doesn't work either. I am still getting fucking memory exhausted error.
There is literally no data stored anywhere, because I unset every fucking thing.
gc_collect_cycles() doesn't work either, probably because this crap thinks there is a reference for this variable somewhere.

When I was maybe 3 years old my dad built a PC with a server case, it was huge! The processor was probably something like 386/486 - not sure. I used to play DOS games on it all day long. And the best part is that we still have the PC and surprisingly it still runs!

(Meanwhile I am cloning my secondary 1TB HDD to a 6TB one)

Got a mac to use for work, and to be honest, I never thought that I would say this... I kind of like it.. The gripe I have with mac's is that it's not user upgradable having the ssd and ram soldered on. If this weren't the case I would probably buy one myself

wtf is it with CSS?

It's so freaking tedious to deal w/ all the shit of it down to the most minute detail, how did anyone ever have the patience to make it and use it.

It's like assembly language, so no one should be cursed with having to deal directly with it. Fuck, that there are people with brains that can tolerate it, thus making it live on. No offense, if my brain were that way, it would probably be useful for me, but fucking aye.

What would you use for building the baclend of a moderately complex web application that probably will have a small userbase?
Ruby on Rails
Django
ASP.NET Core
Spring/Springboot
Node.js
Deno

If what you would like to use something else that is not listed feel free to tell about it in the comments

!Rant

How do I get into Technical blogging? I think I have a lot to say and it will probably vent my frustrations, especially on the need reduce technical debt...

and also figure out what m my ideal team would be...

But whenever I start writing (which is rare) I can never finish... Gets sidelined by other things...

the more i think about the effort i've poured into various projects and products over the years, for clients or my own, and how little its payed overall... its quite depressing (people probably understimate, but i'm talking years upon years, not all at at time, but month spurts where i'd be done for the day at 7 PM or later) 12 hour days are easy to hit quickly when you are cranking out software

if you need an application requirement i've probably built it before, probably most of them twice

everyone tells me "it will pay off in the long run!" or "its great you have so much experience and built those different things!"

great to say, but i'm not getting payed for it / see no benefit from it

not fun to think about

and every place i go i know its gonna be filled with the workaday dev bros who are just there for the paycheck, have no passion, and who don't even know what TypeScript is (true story about that TypeScript one, i shit you not, occured only last year, and the guy is a frontend dev)

😩😩😩

where do i belong devrant?

I know I am probably late to the facebook drama, but I think taking out of this all is just how genius and evil all those collector companies are.

I would have probably never thought of collecting data off of mechanical turks and quick jobbers, but they did not only think of it, they deployed their system across multiple jobs, scanning more and more data in from all those connected logins, for less than a dollar per profile, which generates atleast 300 profiles on average.

The real question is why is it allowed for a third party app to actually access all that? even if there's a permission for that, why would such exist?

I really can't see why any application would need access to likes, shares, all friends, all their profiles etc.

Hey everyone!
I am looking for a decent VPS provider with adequete privacy settings, but most importantly, u guys like and is cheap.
I looked at hetzner (but it rejected my id proof for some reason) and contabo (but it has a one time setup fee which i am reluctant to pay, but will pay if there r no other options).
I'll probably go with the cheapest plan depending on specs.
Budget is $5 😅

thanks ❤️❤️

To the guys that develop any form of hybrid applications, is there literally no js templating engine that accepts template files as its base? I could write probably a single file that just returns the template and then all the others request it before templating, but seriously, is there no ready to go solution?

Why all these SW engineer interviews include 2 days of questions about sophisticated algorithms which i have never (and probably will never) have chance to even reuse, because they are NOT simple & understandable for any project community? IMO It is like asking to show Assembler skills on frontend-dev interview...

So a friend got on MATFYZ (best and probably hardest Uni in our country - Math& Physics) and told me some first impressions today and well, fuck me.. or us..

One dude said he hadn't had much of a time for preparations on getting onto the Uni because he was busy writing learning book about nano stuff and not only for students, but for fucking TEACHERS! He was at the same age as I am now when he wrote this. There were more stories but this one's insane.

Meanwhile I'm here programming fizzbuzz not even studying IT related school (don't ask, bad decisions, or maybe good, probably good, but still) and not knowing shit really.

Is it just me orrr ?

This last week I have been so excited about Artemis going around the moon. This is the kind of stuff that people need. Stop bickering about bullshit. There is a universe to explore!

I saw parts of the flyby today and it was really really cool. I hope NASA is getting incredible data from this. I cannot wait until we send people there again. Probably better to use robots, but going there in person is cool.

Since when is it possible for other (administrator?) users to edit my questions on StackOverflow? I just got alerted that someone removed a sentence from a post I made there. It's not terrible. I probably should have excluded that sentence myself. But that seems really heavy-handed.

"This {{issue that the client has brought upon themselves}} is a huge problem for us, we need to be able to {{do something stupid that the software was never meant to do and will probably just cause more problems than it solves}}. We need this to be fixed now. We can't continue to function without it!"

Holiday in 6 days, wohoo. 3weeks in Thailand. So ready for it.

Currently working on a huge real estate website. Design got approved yesterday, yesterday I finally got partial access to the clients real estate data. Where the data is uploaded to our server as zip files containing a xml file and files attached to it.
Deadline is tomorrow, but has been pushed back 2-3 weeks, which sucks as I probably have to work whilst on vacation

damn

even hacktoberfest is going woke this year

no more t-shirts

some stupid digital pin probably that can forever spew out CO2 somewhere on some server farm in iceland or something

to be clear, i'm not a climate change denyer. but it stupid shit like this as to why we can't have nice things. all the incentives are backwards. change my mind

would have been the 5th shirt too... 😉

i'll probably print myself one anyway

Have to apply as a software dev again. Going to study now and the amount of jobs that are available is too damn low.
Anyway i hate this formal stuff. Why would I need to tell you why your company is so cool. Your IT probably sucks and you know that.

Just received this really weird email. Probably spam, but why even bother when there is no link or attachment? Maybe it is encrypted... 🤔 What do you think? Anyways, the server has SSH enabled anyone care to bruteforce? :^)

“To deal with hyper-planes in a 14-dimensional space, visualize a 3-D space and say “fourteen” to yourself very loudly. Everyone does it.”
- Hinton.

P. S. Can't vouch for the quote's veracity, but it is too good to not share. Probably the best thing I have seen on the internet today.

MS Teams is not my favourite app right now. To be honest, it has never been, and will most probably never be.

Testing every little class and stateless function is a brilliant way to spend a lot of time doing nothing.

At the same time, if I didn't have to test it, I probably wouldn't have turned it into tiny classes and mostly stateless functions.

If I was to talk about software, the act of coding is probably the most boring part. But birthing a program can pull from magic, animation, circus, gardening, parenting, woodwork, and a host of arts, trades, and crafts. It is a wonderful creative task that is being sold short by brilliant jerks, one trick fools, and con men.

Apple finally released my stickerpack!

can you see me?
do I look creepy?
can’t see my reflection, probably looks messy
is it spooky?
wanna see a movie?
I can walk through walls, you don’t have to pay for two seats

Lost Sector

It's a 2D 8-bit-/retro-style platformer based on Warframe

I made the game engine (Dethsquare) for it myself (which is probably still my biggest programming achievement so far), since when I started working on it Unity's 2D support was...lacking

If your commit message is more than 15 words you should probably just write it down and read it to your therapist

C#'s LINQ is probably super slow damn it makes some easy and readable code

Internships just kinda suck.
Like sure I'm probably not as good as the other Devs but knowing I'm getting over 5x less pay than anyone else in the room hurts.
Salaried and it works out at less than minimum wage if you convert it to hourly. Honestly what the fuck.
The experience im getting has been good but having to continue being on a student loan while working 38.5 hours a week is outrageous. Living in an already expensive city and I'm probably spending 10% of my pay on lunch in the office's canteen.

This afternoon I had my first close encounter with a core dump, while working on my C++ simulation. It was brutal and I probably opted for the less efficient solution to avoid the problem, after hours of fighting. But hey. I'm alive and that is what matters most.

7-8 years of J2EE development probably makes people work like govt office clerks.

Or is it only in our company..

Probably the weirdest single command I have ever entered so far:
apt-get install postgresql-12 postgresql-11 postgresql-10 postgresql-9.6

In other words - testing an internal tool across all of our supported postgres versions, but... Just found it funny in a way... Dunno, maybe my humor is just weird.

It is with great sorrow I am announcing that an Apple Watch can catch fire while on your wrist. I bashed Fitbit very hard for this when they were giving people burn scars for life. Collecting and selling data is one thing, but mutilating bodies because of negligence and wanting to save a buck on manufacturing is a whole another thing. It seems like Apple is not much different.

I am struggling with body dysmorphia, and I told you out loud that if a Fitbit device gave me a burn scar for life, I would've probably committed suicide. I still stand by these words. My body integrity is a big deal to me. Having a scar due to my own negligence, like mishandling a knife, is one thing, but the concept itself that some fucking hustle culture startup can mutilate my body is another thing. It scares me.

I am considering to abandon any kind of wearable electronics altogether. The cost of failure is just too high. I'm probably going to get a mechanical Timex or a Seiko.

I hate developers that don’t apply logic to non programming concepts. Like when someone declares what they don’t want instead of what they want. For my sake just say what you want to see.

I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it it is not. Congrats you probably won.

I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it is. Sorry you probably got it wrong.

I feel like there should be a rule 34 for nodejs. If you can think of it, there is probably a nose module for it. Take for example PHP.js it's a thing...

Is learning VIM worth it?

I have some (probably unjustified) prejudices to it - I find it rather visually unattractive. But it seems to me also that it boosts productivity.

So do you recommend it and what is least painful way to learn it?

Is it just me or is everyone thinking the binary ++ counter is a good idea?

I think it’s really cool because it sort of hides the number of ++ you have behind a wall of laziness. Like people probably aren’t going to convert every score and I personally just look at the length of it as a rough estimate of how upvoted a user is.

I think this really helps eliminate the “likes contest” that can come with other social media. (And as a result reduces spam that is posted/reposted just to get likes)

Anyone agree? Disagree?

WHY is cmake such a total shitstain?

Nothing about it works. literally nothing. I can't even make it run a script and do probably the single most fundamental notion of what it means to run a script, which is display its fucking output.