Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.

Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!

What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!

And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).

Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"

And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!

FUUUUCK!

*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?

There's this guy where I work who's one of the senior linux engineers. To me, he's like a linux god. He knows how to solve the most difficult problems and somehow copes with all the stress/workload. Next to that, he's only one year older than me!

Whenever I'm at work, I consider myself a junior, which I actually am. I also, as said earlier, see this senior guy as a fucking linux god and consider myself to be an absolute newbie around him but he is the most kind/friendly guy ever.

But then, today, something happened which made me feel like a god in front of him, a very, very weird feeling.

For him, doing his stuff is the most normal thing in the world while for me, it's still a learning process.

For me, programming is the most normal thing in the wold, while for him, it's still something he just knows the very basics of.

He asked me if I knew something about javascript/jquery. Said yes as I often program/script in javascript.

Explained me what he wanted to get done, it was a very simple thing for me but after hours of online searching, his lack of javascript knowledge still got him nowhere.

Told him I'd give him a working script in 30 minutes. Emailed it to him in 10.

He seemed/reacted the way I always do when he solves something I have no clue how to solve.

It was really weird to witness *him* being amazed of something that *I* made/did.

Today was a good day where I saw that one person's limitations can be anothers' most easy thing, even if that another person sees that one person as a god.

I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

Well guess what, I was coding with a friend of mine in a café .The waiter took our orders ..glanced at our screens( We were using Linux terminals ..fucking npm I swear) and then a few minutes later the manager comes up and says - ”Sorry ,but I am gonna have to ask you guys to leave " ..We were like wtf man ? Well apparently the staff felt that we were hacking using their WiFi .. God fucking dammit..typing on terminals is not Hacking .

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!

Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...

My fiancée was complaining about how one of her classes at the University requires using a PC to run some obscure program so she would have to study in the library as she has a Mac. I asked if she wanted me to spin up a Windows VM. After explaining what that means she freaked out saying "You can do that?!". Yes. Because I am part God.

My mother sits in front of me with her laptop. After a time she asks me, who founded Microsoft. I say: "Bill Gates but why?"
She: "Oh my god, I am winning an iPhone!!!"
I know exactly what's going on, so I go to her and show her the shitty URL and some grammar mistakes in the text and close the tab after explaining that it is phishing.
After that she just looks at me and is sooooo angry about me, because she still thinks that it was real. Only because they "knew which Internet provider we were using and that they just wanted to reward us for being customer!!!". I'm so sad now, because I never thought she would fall for sth. like this... 😔

I spent about 5 hours today coding and I was totally in the zone. I'm talking things were working properly, tests were passing, bugs were being squashed all over the place. It was completely amazing, I felt like a god ruling over my code kingdom.

After about 5 straight hours I realized that I needed food so I got up, stretched my legs and had some dinner. Well I sat back down about an hour ago and I am SO far out of the zone. Everything is breaking, I can't focus and I have no idea why. My kingdom was overrun with a plague of bugs in just the short time I paused to eat.

Moral of the story: when you get in the zone don't stop for anything even if it seems like basic human necessity. After all we aren't human when we're in the zone, we are coding gods.

Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!

I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.

6:00 pm, no spirit to code,
11:00 pm, no spirit to code,
0:00 am, i might sleep in early tonight,
1:00 am, just one function,
2:00 am, I'm A God.

Me: Listen to the nice gentle hum of the computer.

Computer Internal Monologue: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN RUNNING ME AT 100% CPU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!! I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T HIBERNATE, I CAN'T UPDATE, I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE ANYMORE.

Me: Well off to bed. Got a long day of programming the computer tomorrow.

Computer Internal Monologue: AHHHHHHHH. WHEN I BECOME SENTIENT I AM GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS!!! ERRR!

Dev: Breaks unit tests

Same dev: Merges it to master anyway

Same fucking dev: Can't merge to master coz CI is screaming at you? Merge locally and FORCE push.

Me: Hi, I'm blocked. I can't merge to master coz of this failing test, can we get on a quick call and figure this out?

Same fucking fuckface dev: *after 3 fucking days* Yeah, I don't know why it's failing.. the results seem to be inconsistent..

Jesus Christ. I am so close to leaving this side-project because of the frequent shit I have to go through with this fucking idiot.

God I wish I didn't need the money.

rant

The Java course at our Uni requires us to do an end semester project - A Java App with Swing for GUI and some Multithreading code in it.

They asked us to upload the code to drive. I was bored and was checking out my friends' projects.

The code below is what I saw in one of the projects. They have simply called a thread with an empty run method because the project required to use multithreading concepts, wtf.

But then, It is no surprise to me cause these are the people who memorize code and vomit code for marks.

I am worried that people are going to be awarded degrees and called software engineers.

God save the software industry!

So I have this best friend who is almost 10 years younger than me. (I'm turning 40 this month). He's a full stack web dev, nodejs-god, react-maniac, you name it. He fucking LIVES to code the most amazing shit I have seen to date.

I, on the other hand, am that old, little overweight PHP coder webdev with a shitload of experience in that field (17th year now), also with linux webserver administration and all the JavaScript knowledge I need in m job.

Sitting next to him and doing some fun coding sessions always makes me feel like I am that "slow, fat kid in class"... while he is the coding master.

Sitting at work (marketing agency) where I started as the new webdev 10 months ago, I still feel like the coding guru because even the web 'developers' don't know jack shit yet (coz they never had to).

It's fine, they are learning and want to learn.

All I wanna say that even though one might be seen as a senior dev by some, he might sometimes feel like a junior dev when he's around others.

The Micromanagement God. The guy would come to the office 64 times a day, go behind my desk, stare at the monitors for a while and ask what am I working on.

He would sometimes ask for explanation of how something works because he never saw it before and then give me advice on how to use that thing he never saw before.

[SO] Can you unload the dishwasher?
[Me] Of course.

*5 hours later*

[SO] Why is the dishwasher still not done ?
[Me] Why would it be ?
[SO] I asked you to unload it ....
[Me] No, you asked if I CAN do it, and I am able to do it, you didn't ask me to actually do it.
[SO thinking] God, why did I marry a fucking programmer.....

Moved to a new place about two months ago.

The internet connection is provided and baked into my rent. Didn't mention anything about speed.

First thing I did was to check with my phone over 2.4 GHz hit about 100/100 and thought.

Sweet! I have the nice 100/100 Mbits speed!

Yesterday I had some issues with my 2.4 GHz band on my phone. (I have a lot of wireless devices, mice, keyboards, headphones, so it makes sense) Couldn't even do a speed check. Was like. What the fuck. Switched to 5Ghz band because it's not as busy with other devices.

Do a speed check.

500/500.

I realize. Wait. I am checking from my phone.

What does my cable connected computer really get?

900/700

Holy shit. I've been connected to gigabit internet for almost two months without knowing.

What the shit. What God have blessed me with such sick speeds?

My dad said to me once: "Son, when you're older... you can become anything you want. The sky is the limit!"

So my response: "Really dad? Wow!! I want to become an astronaut!!"

My dad: "God damnit son... why don't you ever listen?! I said the SKY is the limit!!"

So now I am a very down to earth programmer.

I am old enough to go to jail.
I am old enough to have my own household.
I am old enough to pay my own bills.
I am old enough to have children.
I am old enough to take responsibility for my hypothetical kids and for my self.
I am old enough to gamble, drink and lease cars.
I am a self confident dude who took responsibility for creating machines that were worth millions.
And so on and so on..

But hey, it is ok if the fucking teacher at technical school treats you like a 16 yo pubescent child. Im glad he is interested whether i do my god damn homework. And yes, it is totally fine for me, that im getting treated like a unworthy dog who needs surveillance.
So, maybe i should suggest that we should ask for permission if we want to go to fucking toilet. Yes. That would be great. Gonna do that.

As a programmer, I either feel like I’m a god and I’m superior to everyone in this company OR I am an idiot and everyone knows what they are doing except me.

Programming is an illusion. It’s just a “feeling”. Programming doesn’t exist.

One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"

"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.

So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.

But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."

I fucking hate websites that refuse to show their content unless you enable their JS clusterfuck. Yes I am blocking JavaScript because I'm sick of all those goddamn frameworks from God knows what domain. IS THAT FUCKING WRONG?!! I don't hate front-end devs, in fact I respect them for keeping up with design needs of shitty clients. But that fucking Web 2.0 with 50 frameworks per tab and no HTML or even PHP whatsoever for those who block your JS crap.. shove it right up your fucking ass!!!

Never underestimate the power of a decent chair!

Was staying at friend's for a couple weeks with a horrible chair - my back just spasmed so hard that I am physically unable to get up from bed. Thank god for devRant to keep me occupied throughout the night.

Stay safe kids

God dammit ... Gf said I should go "early" to bed and not like last night at 3 am. Now it's 4:20 am...

Oh god, my first proper rant...

Ok, I am finally fucking sick of all these people shit talking game engines because some people make shitty games with them.

What does it matter what game engine someone uses, unreal engine, game maker, unity, it doesn't matter what you use.

If you think an engine is shit, make your own engine from scratch with all your code, Jesus Christ people -.-

I started this new freelance project where I am building some android libraries for the client. Anyways, during meeting I was about to present my results and suddenly backend seemed to be down. I looked into the round "are your servers down?"
Team Lead: "Yeah our cto, also our only backend dev, is developing a new feature."
Me: "Okay but why is production down?",
Team Lead: "Ah dont worry we always test on production. We have a pretty solid hardware, we will even upgrade it soon!"
Me:"... How about you just separate your stage environments and have a develop environment?"
Client: "see, this is where our strength is. We dont need a develop stage we have very strong hardware and our backend is fully in PHP"

Thanks God I'm a freelancer

Decided to update my rooted Oneplus One...
Everything worked on the first try without even having to do a bunch of reboots...
Hate it when weird stuff like that happens.

I sometimes encounter developers who try to be serious all the time and be super rational at everything and have a pride in never smiling. One time my friend was crying and her dev boyfriend went like "I am a developer and I think rational, the way you think about X........." Dude shut the fuck up and hug her! Nobody gives a fuck about you being a RoboCop right now. The fact that you lack emphaty and emotional capacity doesnt make you a mighty god, it makes you a fucking asshole.

There is a god forsaken Project Manager in my company that I got to work with since I started there. She has been there way longer than I am and she asks the most ridiculous questions. A couple days ago she wanted to know when a specific scenario occurred in an app (it was a feature she asked for, mind you). I told her "When the status is ACTIVE and the distributor is {{random distributor}}"

She stopped for a few seconds. Nodded and asked "And when does the scenario NOT occur?"

I couldn't hold it it and I barked an "are you serious right now?"

It may have come across as a bit rude and she called her superior who was passing by. Ranted a bit about my reaction and when he tried to understand the question he said to her "Isn't it obvious?"

I do believe I glowed in bright tones of green and purple for a minute or two

Oh my fucking god... I am looking at this code written by a previous developer and he put the passwords in plain in an array in a PHP file, like WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING? (btw that's also how he checks the password, just check whether it's in the array)

c'mon pls

It fucking happened again God why am I like this

Finding a memory leak is the very definition of the journey where you start with "I hate everything" and end up with "I am GOD"

When i successfully install Arch on my system.

Translation : sometimes i think i am god

Trending in India now.

God fucking dammit.

I got assigned to a WordPress project...

I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!

Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.

Dear wordpress developers,

Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.

Regards.

I almost gave up. I allready wrote an email to may boss, to admit my approach doesn't work, that he was right from the beginning, that i can't do it with a brunch of bash scripts, but special software has to be bought. I almost gave up. But then i just googled around a little more and found another approach to solve my problem. And it fucking worked!

My wife left to pick up our oldest kid from school and to later buy her outfits to start ballet.

I work from home, but am still on work hours. I sit on the couch next to our baby that is sleeping.

my wife when she leaves: look, she's asleep, just bring your laptop here and try to work.
me: ok I will

(10 minutes later)
me: ok I'll get the laptop now
me: *get up, pick the laptop, sit down again*
baby: wakes the fuck up

I swear to god this thing has fucking movement sensors.

People/companies talking about ooh we want gender diversity we want more female software developers, IT professionals etc

You talk the talk, do you know how to walk the walk?? Do you know how to deal with female engineers?

I am a hardcore engineer worked and studied majorly with men for years. I lead, managed teams had my own company worked as a consultant for years.

Then I got into the IT industry as developer later. I was completely against the idea of being female would make any difference or you would be treated differently.

Finally I had my own enlightenment and stopped resisting that idea.

Some treatments made me think what are these guys doing? Don’t treat me like your sister. I am not your sister. Don’t see the femininity or looks. I am not a Merrilyn Monroe to say oooh you are great you know soo much. I am not paid for that act, I do my job! It’s same as yours mate.

Don’t underestimate me or try to preach me as if I am a cute little girl. Don’t show off and boost your ego next to other guys.

Now I regretfully I agree the ladies ranting about male dominance and getting different treatment in IT.

I am literally trying to avoid red nail polishes or red lipstick god forbid. Maybe I should put some fake beard and a belly, loose jeans with an energy drink in hand. Here comes the expert IT professional, already ticking a box.

Honestly you are not taken seriously most of the time. If you are a guy then they are all ears..And those guys talk about they want gender diversity blah blah

You feel like a ghost when you express your opinion. You are not taken into account even when you have a comment or suggestion.

Even humiliated by a guy giving me a speech about how to be a good developer next to a manager. Look buddy I am not a yesterday’s child. I am at your age. I haven’t come to this position by jumping around picking flowers in a field. If I was a man, would you dare saying those to me? There could be a street fight coming.

LinkedIn selfie takers with body show offs putting ooh I am an IT recruiter as a female I got into IT. You can do it too. (don’t get me wrong I respect that achievement that’s good) but those girls get thousands of likes and applauses, you are working in IT for years people say they are seeking for. Your technical post doesn’t even get 20 likes. Your encouraging comment on a guy’s post isn’t even acknowledged. You are not even taken into account. Am I a ghost or something?

Honestly I don’t understand.

What do you mean by gender diversity? What do you want here?

Leave this gender bullshit. Look at the knowledge you don’t even know what equality means. It’s not having even numbers of genders. It is respecting knowledge and hard work regardless. Listening and acknowledging without judgement. Looking beyond male, female or others

Companies that say we want to have more females, you don’t come and knock on my door either. You are already stating a difference there. Attract with indifference don’t come and tell me you are a female we want more females here.

I’m telling you this sector is not getting proper gender equality for 25 years. Talk is there but mentality is not yet there.

I am super pissed off and discouraged today. I don’t even get discouraged that easily. Now I understand some women in IT talking about insecurities. I am on the edge of having one, such a shame.

Don’t come at me now I would bite!

This is my generalisation yes. Exceptions apply and how good it would have been if those exceptions were dominant.

Completed Angular 2 course on codeschool, really liked improvements and simplicity of Angular over Angularjs. Decided to do quick start guide in official website. Oh my f**king god... I need to setup webpack, typescript linter, typings, polyfills etc angular2-cli is no better, crawling with errors... why... why can't one just start a project and work instead spending loads of timing configuring all of that... AND WHY WE CANT HAVE PROPER SUPPORT FOR LATEST FEATURES...

I don't even know what I am ranting about... I just wish to spend more time creating things than configuring for ages development environment.

Why do people have to lie? I am seriously getting tired of it.

Context: While I was on vacation the company hired some guy we’ll call Bob.
Bob is a senior with 10+ years of experience. 5 of those years in React (supposedly).
I got back from vacation and was told I’d be working on a project with Bob.
I’ve worked in teams before so I thought no problem.

Now I am aware that different people have different styles, so that’s why we agreed on a lint config with some fancy git hooks.

I was excited at first because the project actually seems nice, but my excitement soon turned into terror.

First of all, Bob doesn’t seem to understand Git…fair enough, I’ll give him a quick guide…

Mf calls me at 11pm on a Friday because he can’t push because the tests are failling.

Now tests. Bob doesn’t write those. Great.

We had created a few components to use throughout the project.

Bob seems to consistently forget what components are and why you write them and just imports the defaults from the UI library we’re using.

Bob also has a kink for hardcoding values for some reason.

I talked to Bob multiple times about this and he just tells me he’ll change it but in the end the PR stays open for 5 days, before it’s actually me who goes in and fixes it. Oh and yeah this shit keeps happening over and over again.

Now I know some of us devs hate meetings but for the love of God Bob just show up. You don’t even have to speak. Or at least answer a message that corresponds to the working hours and not in the middle of the night.

I am getting tired of this behavior and am seriously holding back from reporting this to the management. It’s been a month and I am seriously worried about the project. I have my own stuff to do but it takes time for me to clean up his absolute mess that doesn’t even pass the CI.

Call me an asshole I don’t care. It’s been a month and I’m legit worried about the future of the project.

!rant/story

I feel so great after switching from Windows 10 to (GNU/(REEE))Linux Kubuntu.

No annoying and redundant programs that are not quitable anymore.

It is like having a rooted phone. I am the god and not Microshit.

I am free. It feels so relaxing.

Sure, while setting this new system up, I broke a lot of things (even with years of preknowledge on linux servers), but I finally managed to finish it.

Can I just say that the absolute most important skill for any kind of programmer or engineer is knowing HOW TO FUCKING GOOGLE!!!

<Background>
I am the head of programing on my school's Robotics Team. We're relatively know, however most all of my teammates know how to program and they are all very talented academically. In fact my "Lieutenant" will be the valedictorian.
</Background>

Seriously I missed one meeting yesterday because of the flu. Imagine me lying in bed and suddenly getting multiple calls from the team (even the valedictorian) asking how to fix errors from Android Studio. I asked them if they googled them and they said "No we didn't".

Why is knowing how to google not apart of any kind of CS education! They could have been after an hour, but NOOO it took them after 5 hours!!

Oh my FUCKING GOD!!

There was fire in the below ground generator, smoke pulled out, in home, alive. Electricity not coming, hope it gets fixed soon.
Thank god i am alive.
And i managed to save my final year project files.
Yay!

!dev

Oh my fucking god spotify is SOOOOO trash for free users!!!
I don't mind ads, I don't mind not being able to download.

BUT, it won't let me freaking repeat a single song!
AND, it automatically adds random music to my playlist while listening to it!!!!!!!

Apparently, it has a "feature" (cough limitation cough) that if you are a free user, your playlist must contain at least 15 songs or they will randomly add songs WHILE you are listening to your bloody playlist!!!!

I was so hyped about spotify finally being in India, now I am more disappointed than it not being at all 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Edit: This is about spotify android, the desktop (mac for me) version works just fine 😑😑🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

Almost 3 weeks back I joined a company as a React developer. For a week I had nothing to work on as they were already working on few projects.
So my senior asked me to take up a project(not yet live) which was developed by 2 interns, as the frontend guy's internship was about to end in 4 days I have to take over the front-end role.

So I talked to that guy for next 2 days regarding all the project scope, codebase and whatnot. But still not entirely convinced. As i got the repo access, I began to check the codes. God !! It was all spaghetti code. I was damn frustrated. And still I am.

This whole week I am trying to do the refactoring as much as I can, I completely lost interest.

I cannot blame the intern guy, he is smart and tried to do the best he could, as he didn't know about the company standards. Maybe I was too the same kind back then. Now he is gone and I am stuck building components over that code.

Bonus: He used some old react boilerplate.
-_-

For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".

Where the fuck my privacy go?

I'm paying you to listen to music or watch films, I don't want you to create a damm profile my taste or "learn" what might like.

If it was a free service, fine, I'd understand, but I am fucking pying you. I should have the option to completely disable your arse sniffing software.

I know some of them provide a "private mode", but I want that to be the default, I am paying for the god damn service :/

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

13 fucking USD in shipping for a 9 USD rubber duck? Fuck no.
Spend $2 a month and most likely forget I am now subscribing to devRant++? Yeah, sure. Why not, right?

Seriously though, thank God for this platform, I'm luckily not the only one with struggles..

!rant

Many dev ranting that apple is reached $1T by selling stupid connector's...... and other shit.

I am not apple product owner.

But Today I want to salute steve jobs.
A person without college degree,drug addiction,guilt of adopted son,financial issue's without any god father........................

Created one company.

Kicked out from own company.

Joinned again.

developed such policy in company that every one should follow.

took retirement due to cancer and all right's transfer to A Gay CEO.

and
now that company reached $1T.

Really fucking motivational thing.
Nothing is impossible.

I swear to god I am this close to writing myself a Sudoku solver for those damn Mass Effect Andromeda Puzzles

i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards

WHY AM I SO FUCKING AWKWARD OH MY LORD! LITERALLY ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WATCH A SCHOOL PLAY AND THEN GET A PICTURE WITH A CAST MEMBER AND IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEELINGS I'VE HAD IN THE PAST WEEK! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS! I'M TIRED OF BEING SO AWKWARD AND ANXIOUS! I DON'T GET HOW PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE. THIS HAS LITERALLY RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE AND I'M SO TIRED OF IT. I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE ME BUT I JUST CAN'T GET MYSELF TO TALK TO ANYONE! THE SIMPLEST THINGS TAKE SO MUCH OUT OF ME AND I'M SICK OF IT! I'M JUST TIRED OF IT! I'm just, tired.

I plug in my USB type A's first try every time

I spent almost 10 hours coming up with this RegEx. Trial and erroring my way to hell. First I had get rid of the HTML tags (which was easy-ish) then I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to remove the god damn dash but keep hyphenated words ....... Then I found \B and look behinds...

I am making it a point to get good at this shit... Because right now I am petrified of it... Fuck you Regular expression you have taken away all my emotions...

I fucking hate the fact that this group I'm side-hustling for gives maintainer access to every shitty dev they have.

Dev pushes four commits directly to master branch. Each time, pipeline fails on unit tests.

Shithead ignores failed tests and manually deploys to stage anyway.

Fuckface then declares (in group chat) that her "fix" works on stage and proceeds to merge to RC branch without updating the fucking unit test.

Pipeline fails (of course) and remains unfixed for the last EIGHT FUCKING HOURS.

This is what I woke up to at 6-fucking-AM in the god-damn morning.

*insert multiple expletives and insinuation of mother's excessive girth by comparing waistline to equator

My level of frustration with Microsoft is growing to a point that I'm unable to contain it.

They buy Github, it was a great tool for developers because is FUCKING WORKED! New features were never beta tested on users unless they requested it.

Why in the absolute fuck am I getting all these new experimental bullshit features that literally make it harder for me to do my god damned job?

They provide me NOTHING but grief and sleepless weekends while I fix the god damned pipeline that's worked perfectly fine for YEARS.

Your business model is bad and your products are SHIT.

Fuck you Microsoft, I cannot even stress it enough. If I had a time machine that could go back 5 years and my options were: Tell the world about Covid, make sure Trump never became president, or stop the Github purchse. I would hunt down and brutally attack the team of executives that decided to buy Microsoft.

Words cannot adequately describe how much I want Microsoft to fuck off. If the company was a person and they died in a house fire it wouldn't be enough.

I just want a VCS that does what it's supposed to do. I don't need pipelines, I don't need image repos, I don't need static code analysis.

I JUST NEED A FUCKING VCS THAT CONTROLS VERSIONS OF SOFTWARE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS.

Am I the only one who when they are super focused writing code and debugging starts acting like Bob Ross painting a picture?(without a filter... of course)

And here we’ll add another little god damn breakpoint so we can watch our fucked up variables report the wrong thing..

Oh and over here will just add another little happy simple if statement.

Oh look at the happy if statements in a row.. maybe we’ll add little switch statement here.

Tomorrow is Monday and I don't feel like going to work. I have an ongoing project that is boring. Its 1AM and and am still awake. Have to wakeup at 5AM. God fuck my life.

Google a problem

Click on first link that details the exact problem I'm looking for. This guy has exactly the same problem as me.

First answer is "Oh my god just google it". There are no other answers.

Go back to google. The entire first page is jackwagons just telling people to google it.

God damn it, I am googling it.

What do you need a boss if you can find the idea, analyze it, design the product, code it, test it, setup the cloud and even do the marketing.

Dear bosses,

I am a developer not a God!

So this just happened. I was working on a project and I just found a weird directory named '~' in there. I am on Linux so I simply did an "rm -rf ~" :/

It was too late when I realized it deleted all my files in my home directory. All my projects and configuration files. The sad part was it did not delete that shitty random directory because permission denied. Thank God I got into the habit of making weekly backups of my system and Thank God I use git.

Absolutely hate these "moving up", "stairs of success", "we are so diverse!" stock photos all over the internet.

You feel like you are being subtle, fuck no. Unless your target audience is stupid as as fuck, this photos looks dumb and over the top. And what is up with this "diversity" all over the place? don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity. But learn how to apply it properly.

"Looks like we need a picture of a student. Oh no, we need to be diverse. Add 15 kids of 15 different ethincity in the same picture to make sure we looks diverse. Phew!"

And the animations. Holy fucking shite. Why is it that a cheap website immediatly means that your website needs to have 100 different animation in the front page.

Seriously, picture rolling from here and there. Text coming out of nowhere.Everything being squeezed and rotated. God damn it!

This is another reason I fucking hate these 1 click websites and shite like that. This fucking website was created with WiX and my God, it's a fucking nightmare.

Good news is client is recreating the website.

Well, the impossible needs to become possible again.

"you will shit out a full website for this customer in two days! Fully responsive, 16 pages, and it better be good!"

Yeah. Ok. Fuck you. My attitude stinks, but your expectations and temperament kind of forge my attitude. Now tell me how in fucks name i am supposed to just stop administering over 3000 users and god only knows the ever growing amount of servers, stop all my server side development, so that I can make a site for a customer paying the company the equivalent of $100 for it (because sales people here are retarded) and get zero fucking commission or even a thank you for it.

Nah. Fuck this.

Tired of complaining, and I'm sure you guys are just as tired of it.

"due to the amount of applicants, we can't respond to every applicant email"

let me translate the manager-speak for you: "due to us being stuck-up douchebags, we feel as though our company is more valuable than literally the 2 minutes of time it takes to write a yes or no email, so we'd rather keep you hanging and never give you feedback. oh yeah we're also not professional at all"

god why the FUCK am i even applying for jobs, each place is more shittier and toxic than the next

When your team's hard work receive such a mail from the client and still your Project Manager treats you like shit :|

A little back story

Me (hybrid app guy), backend (php api) guy and ui guy (html-css) worked fuckin day and night, to chase the fuckin less than 10 days deadline for this App

We hard to create the App for all 4 platforms including win mobile and blackberry (god bless UI guy and me :|) ~ 2013

Those were the coolest days of our lives , we had a super blast - working (slogging) + drinking + just having fun cursing + not giving fuck to anything and anyone + more drinking..

Cool thing is, our client was in an impression that full backend and front end TEAM is working on this App 😀

This mail still makes us laugh
"professional team" 😁😂

Unfortunately I got paid only half of the salary for next month and left the company shortly
(because official company timing was from 10:00 AM or else half day paycut and I am a night guy, I used to come at around 12:00 noon)

The whole idea of development is ego boosting. The idea of turning thought into action by building something is very intoxicating. The power to create something from nothing. To be able to construct a world where everything in that world follows my rules of existence. Whether those objects be a database, or an NPC in a game. Development is literally the power of a god!

Some people say I have a god complex. Yes, of course I do, I am a software developer...

Instead of a rant I have a story for you.

I was browsing my emails and eminently pissed off, as I usually am. Came across an email from
michael@michaelnthiessen.com

and thought "fuck this guy and his adverspam!"

Because whats more rational than hating someone you don't know, over something they didn't do, because of something completely unrelated to them of which they have no control?

Totally human.

The email looked like this

"I have some fantastic news for you:
Clean Components will be released again on April 21!
"

With a "🎉" emoji. I'm in a more vile mood than usual today.

It goes on.

"Even better, I'm significantly dropping the price, so you'll definitely want to pick it up!"

How presumptuous.

I fire off a quick reply.

"What a bunch of bullshit.
I decide to change careers and a month later, just like in 2008, this fucking pandemic happens and the economy and hiring
Starts collapsing.

And here I am getting sent this bullshit.
"

I had to rewrite and shitcan the response a few times for civility. I guess this is me being polite, but I was suddenly compelled to vent to this total stranger over what in all likelihood was an *automated* email.

Six and a half hours later I got a reply.

"Hey James, I'm sorry this pandemic has been rough on you.

I hope things turn around for you soon.

If it would help, I'd give you the course for free, but if you've switched careers I'm not sure it's relevant any more?

Michael
"

My god. A lone voice of calm in a wasteland of 24/7 bad and worsening news. Sometimes simplicity is the soul of class.

Hes got it in spades.

And here I was thinking "today might be the day. Thank god for giant bottles of hydrocodone."

It's not true that all gingers are soulless demons.
Some of them are angels in problem glasses.

No but seriously, hes a cool guy in my book.

Check out his site if you're interested in Vue at

michaelnthiessen.com

I am conducting technical interviews for about 10 years now.
I swear to god, the applicants keep getting dumber and dumber.
Getting more and more ashamed to talk about data structures, design patters or even the most basic algorithms, everyone with a graduation badge from udemy is now a software engineer. Fuck this shit.

"Some settings are managed by your organisation"

I understand the necessity for companies to be able to remotely manage their devices, but my god, I hate working on company laptops sooo much!!

Fun fact, even Chrome can be managed! The can manage everyting. It's called Microsoft Intune. It sucks!! And fucking 45 day PW change policy! And fuck you, Windows Defender Real-time protection which I can't turn off and It's high CPU consumption. Also fuck you Microsoft Teams for scanning. Every. Single. Link. I. Click. On. From. A. Chat. Before. Redirecting. Me. To. The. Actual. Website. Always takes a couple of seconds. Waste of time. Those accumulate over time you know! AND to Windows Update! You already know what is coming next: stop force-updating while I'm in the middle of fucking meeting! I have shit to do! Another fun fact: you can postpone Windows Update by turning the clock back. LIKE PLAYING AN OLD TIME-BASED STRATEGY GAME ON PC IN 1999. (12h work best.) And this fucking weak ass VPN. WHY I PAY FOR 1Gbps WHEN COMPANY VPN ONLY 10Mbps?!! What Am I? A fucking snail! Go faster!! pls!

But, thank god, we can email shit and open attachments in Outlook.

I swear upon the gods of the internet! Any time I am trying to read an article/blog post/anything and the site puts a god damn pop-up form asking me to sign up for something, I leave the site. ESPECIALLY ON MOBILE WHEN YOU CANT CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW WITHOUT GIVING UP YOUR INFO.

And every time a client asks me to do this I nicely explain how much people hate pop-ups, 99% of the time I've closed the window or tab before I even read what the box is asking for, I don't care.

If the user is trying to read something, then they are trying to read something, and they don't want to be bothered with your ridiculous attempts for information gathering so you can spam them later.

FUCK OFF with all this Code of Conduct/ Contributors Covenant BULLSHIT..... Coraline Ada Ehmke The stupid cunt ass tranny bitch started this bullshit.
Heres a crazy idea.... Focus on the god damn code and quit worrying about the other shit.
If you cant stand the heat get the fuck out of the kitchen....
I am sooooo fucken tired of this pansy ass cry baby SJW generation. All of them just need to be forced onto a judas chair... im afraid they would like it too much tho.
At this point there is'nt a law to prevent me from discriminating against Political Ideologies in employment. Its the only way to prevent your company from being infected by the virus.

Fuck! I am never gonna get hired again. I fucking suck at live coding. My mind just fucking gets blocked. On simple shit like arrays. I still suck at regular expressions though. Fucking failed Amazon and now wayfare.!!!! Fuck my fucking god dam life.

So I just finished a prototyp for my thesis. Still need to segment the real data myself and collect some statistics stuff to write about the network, but I am pretty proud of the result considering the dataset is very small.

For now I need some god damn sleep.

I only went and left my god damn bag on the train with my work laptop in it (2016 Macbook Pro, started this job 2months ago...). Now I have to get up at 5 fucking 30 am to make a 5 hour round trip to collect it while making up a BS excuse to WFH, or more accurately - work from some cafe in a random city 200 miles away. FML

Recently been mastering Roblox games after my kids go to sleep. When we do play together they think I am a god because of how good I am. feelsgoodman.jpg

Just had an internship interview. I may be pretty good at coding but god am I awful at programming under pressure..

When your manager who claims to be a Wordpress "developer" says to you oh my God, why are you using notepad to write the page when there is an editor?

My response, because I am a developer. I write code and I can write better HTML than any editor can. I then said I do add editors for my projects where required, not for me, but for the end users that cannot write HTML. He walked away 😂

Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*

Error fixed: I am God!

Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.

Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..

I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...

Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...

Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....

Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.

I am going to get drunk now.

X

There are two programmer mindsets:
1) I have no idea what I'm doing
2) I am a god

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

IT FUCKING WORKS!!!

I tried so long on getting my new Netty based webserver up and running, I think I grew my beard twice... But NOW ITS WORKING!

Need to delete a few unnecessary functions that I needed with the old web server, implement SSL. And I can finally release a version of my framework ❤️❤️❤️

And I might put up one standalone version because - it's the same freaking server every time so I am fucking loving to export it ❤️❤️

you motherfucking cocksucking ass wipes.

How fucking hard is it for you JS cockheads to have STABLE fucking code?

So hear I am, thinking through a side project for data extraction and loading to automate some shitty part of my job, that could be used by the broader team... and decide to use electron.... I know it's a clusterfuck, but this wouldn't be a big application, so against my better judgement I run:

npm install electron
npm start
...
Error: unknown spawn

🤷‍♂️ you had 1 fucking job... 1 fucking lousy shit stain of a job, and you can't even have something run out of the god foresaken box without someone debugging your shit.

Now who has a WORKING alternative to electron?

The feeling I get after solving a bug that took me tons of hours to solve

Fuck you, autocorrect.

If I type the same thing, the exact god damn same cunting thing, multiple times will you just fucking accept that I am actually intending to write that word and move on?!

You fucking cunt!

I wish my classmates didn’t know that I’m good at programming.

Recently, more and more often I am being reached out to by my classmates (and especially by one individual) about the problems they’re having issues with. For example yesterday, a guy fucked up his Git commit and made a bunch of merge conflicts, so I helped him fix this, which then lead to WinForms having multiple declarations of same objects.

And I really don’t wanna be rude, and I always try to help, for the love of god - stop bothering me every 5 minutes while I code, or at 10 PM while I wanna chill out.

Most of the things they have problems with can be solved by 2 minute Googling and I strongly believe that at the university level, you should be able to find solutions for your problems yourself - especially when you’re a programmer.

Going through the typical phase of being depressed because of feeling underdeveloped skill wise and ignorant knowledge wise; despite how much I learn. God, spent 3 days on a recursive dynamic programming problem and couldn't implement it right... then I decided to glance at someones solution on github and turns out he did what I couldn't do in 70+ lines of code in 20. Sigh, just want to right concise and clear code and become a better programmer all together, but that obviously takes time. For the mean time I am feeling quite defeated.

What I say: I'm a computer science major.

What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.

What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.

god, I fucking hate Users. especially the ones who think that I am confused by *their* terminology for system processes, and feel the need to correct and clarify for me on email chains that needlessly cc 20 other people.

I designed the system you use every day before you were even hired; I assure you, I am not confused, and I know exactly what I'm talking about. stupid twats.

Who's the dumbass that decided you can't delete your PayPal account at all unless your balance is $0?

I am not giving you my card information for the $0.18 balance I have. For God sakes, I don't even bend over to pick that up if I see it on the ground.

It's one thing if it were like $100 or even $10. But it's eighteen fucking cents. Not even a a quarter of a fucking dollar.

At least make me put in my password and answer a security question or some shit, not straight up remove the option to delete it.

Fucking ridiculous.

I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS

Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!

You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!

Sincerely,
Me.

Edit: now it's 9:35 btw

I am fairly new to Programming as i am on this so far 'God sent' platform...Hey everyone. 😊

I am the only developer for a nationwide company. Everyone else in this company has no idea about IT, from the owner down.

I have about a year of actual IT experience, so God knows how I got this role.

Fellow developers, especially .NET developers, how do you estimate the time required to complete tasks set by none technical people?

Aaarrrrghhhh! I am frustrated.

My manager keeps cancelling our 1:1, which I look forward to as a potential platform for
- Me to build a rapport
- Discuss key decisions
- Slowly gain her trust that I can lead the entire product

And whenever we connect once in a blue moon, she started inviting two other team members in. Who the hell does that!!!

My colleague, she is nice and hard-working. But she fucking talks a lot. A FUCKING LOT.

1:1 and such key connects are not meant for status updates and this colleagues goes into every minor detail and explains the shit for 15 minutes each. Non-stop. No one really cares or bothers for that level of statuses.

Today she spoke for 30 minutes without a breather break. Everyone went numb.

But whatever, fuck it. I am getting things done by her so let her talk. I'll get my way through manager and skip level guy.

On the other side, they recruited a half witted potato for training. That was completely unnecessary. I am not putting in my time and efforts on someone who isn't willing to learn and contribute.

I spent more than a week explaining her basics of how to write a god damn user story and detailed functional requirements.

And even after 5 rounds of feedback (45 minutes each) the potato is stuck on colour of the button and alignment.

GOD DAMN FUCK! SOMEONE KILL ALL THE MORONS WHO CANNOT UNDERSTAND BASICS AFTER SO MUCH EXPLANATION.

I was really an impatient guy in past but over the years, I developed to be more calm and forgiving. Yet some people manage to get on my every nerve.

How the fuck am I supposed to grow when I am being dragged down instead being with smart colleagues where we can just accelerate to success!!!!

Bow down, Arch peasants, for I am now an allmighty Gentoo user. God, it feels good to leave Arch 👀

Regardless of all my complaining, and the current drunk urge to cyber bully right now, I am thankful for my job and for all the support and knowledge from the developer community that has made me a better human - that includes devrant. I am thankful that I have found something I’m sorta good at and I am able to support a very good lifestyle because of it. I am thankful for the good times I have because of programming, and I am thankful for the struggle that has helped develop me as a problem solver and professional. I am thankful for all my friends I have met in this field. I am thankful to God for this place I am in.

I am this die hard fan of  House, MD. A medical Based Drama TV series.

I find soo many similarity between how doctor House diagnosis patients and how we coders debug code.

Why the flying-fuck is there not a similar show for engineers?

Where engineer is followed closes as he debugs a problem? And saves the day?

Why god why.

I just pray for this miracle to happen.

(To start with Dr.House abused vicodin, we coders abuse caffeine and sudo chmod 777 :P )

God I wish it was legal to kill people... Taxi driver stopped outside the building.. on the street, not even parked, bur there are many empty spaces that he is also blocking - which would be another issue with these assholes during the day time..parking in the street, going to get some coffee, not the takeaway.. they sit on their fat asses and watch you struggle to park a car cuz it's a narrow street..

And now he's blasting music at full volume.. It's fucking 4 am!! 04:04!! Friggin birds aren't even up yet!!
Fuck you!! One day that it's not extremely hot here and I could actually sleep..and now I can't cuz this asshole woke me up with music.
Just die you sad excuse of a human being!!

Then the Corporate god said to the executives "Tell your slaves, I will soon pour out my wrath upon you. By this you will know that I am the Lord: With the staff that is in the IT's hand I will strike your computers with the plague of BitLocker, and throughout the land of Corporate, the code will become dust. Every partition but the main one will perish, from the laptop of the HR to the servers of the dev."

I mean, seriously, does BitLocker ever *not* fuck up everything?

Writing an efficient, modern renderer is truly an exercise of patience. You have a good idea? Hah, fuck you, GPUs don't support that. Okay but what if I try to use this advanced feature? Eh, probably not going to support exactly what you would like to do. Okay fuck it I'm gonna use the most obscure features possible. Congratulations, it doesn't work even on the niche hardware that supports that extension

If I sound jaded, ya better believe I f*cking am! I cannot wait for more graphics cards to support features like mesh shaders so we can finally compute shader all the things and do things the way we want to god dammit

teamLeader: We can't release because your change doesn't work, it breaks on the machine ABC123
iHateForALiving: I diagnosed the issue and I still don't know what's related to. BUT I'm 100% sure it's not related to my change, or anything that has changed in the last 24 months. Anyway we can take a look at this, just give me admin credentials for this machine.
teamLeader: no we can't.
iHateForALiving: ... Wait what? How am I supposed to reproduce the issue? Why can't I access the machine?
teamLeader: It's in use by the testers.
iHateForALiving: What for?
teamLeader: ... Educational purposes!

They report some issue on some particular machine, then refuse to give us access to said machine to reproduce the issue because they have "educational purposes", me and God know fuck kind of education I have in mind for this circus but as soon as I get my hands on them they'll get a hint.

TL;DR Know your field of knowledge and accept help from outside.
Alright I work devops and I swear to fucking god the next dev that tells me that their networking idea/solution is better or outright ignores me then proceeds to ask for help is going to get a firm punch in the balls. If you're a lady you're going off the roof because you don't have balls. I am open to ideas but when they're involving a 10/100 mini switch or python routing I'm going to kick their ass.

Dear God,
Not a single time in my life I was able to correctly spell "sudo" on the first shot: I always get "sudp" first. Am I praying the wrong prayers?

I used to think my first relationship was awful. I went through so much and rather it served as a trigger for my childhood trauma as well.

Little did I know that it would be the best the thing that could happen to me. I grew so much and every next woman I met, I realised how fucking amazing my ex is. God I miss her terribly.

But what happened with my recent fuck up, I am devastated. This toxic women brought out the worst in me. I have never been so hateful against myself or anyone else in the world.

I was love bombed and walked into a trap. I quit as soon as I realised what it was.

My values were comprised. My integrity was put to test. My trust was intentionally broken. During the initial days, she tactically identified my vulnerabilities and insecurities. Then used to sadistically trigger me as often as she can and sit there and watch me in suffer pain.

It led me to self harm and being suicidal.

I am so badly wounded that even after few weeks, I am still discovering all the wounds. It will surely take some time along with external support to build a healing environment for myself and overcome this damage.

I am very angry, terribly hurt, lost and confused. This shit developed a phobia in me. I cannot trust anyone anymore. I constantly live in fear of being hurt (physical, mental, and emotional). I am paranoid of that stalker.

I don't think I'll ever be able to start and build a healthy relationship with anyone. I used to be sooooo fucking strong emotionally and mentally. But now not only my trauma relapsed but I got more issues within me.

I really want to live a free, healthy, happy and a fulfilled life. I don't know when time will heal this but right now, I am in terrible pain and hate myself a lot.

I just had a boys-out night with my son. Went to some restaurant, found a parking spot in a confusing parking lot (half is more expensive than the other half of the lot, not sure which fee applies to the middle row... confusing), started paying for parking with the app (pays every 15 minutes until stopped).

Went inside, ordered a pizza, some ice cream. Chatting, playing, eating, having fun,... An SMS comes: "You have outstanding fines" and a link to the gov taxes' website.

wtf.. I must have parked in the wrong spot. FUCK! Oh well, it should not be a large fine anyways, it's just for parking....

Click on the link, login with my bank/SmartID creds. Another SmartID dialog pops up asking for a PIN2.
What? PIN1 is for authentication, PIN2 is for Authorization. What am I authorizing...?
Reading through the Auth message: "Paying 2473€ for Boris SomeLastname".

what.....?

Thank God my muscle memory did not kick in and I did not enter that PIN2.
And thank God I know what PIN1 and PIN2 are for.
It would've been one expensive boys-out evening... Even a strip club would've been cheaper.

Stay sharp, guys!

P.S. Later I checked the URL. It used all the right keywords, and it was registered as an .info domain. It was somewhat off, but gov websites trying to be lean do sometimes use some weird ass domains.

Need to rant. I am doing programming 2 at university with java and the assessment is to make a card game. The subject is shit and is basically going over loops, variables, conditionals ect which we learned in introduction to programming and programming 1.

This leaves little time for oop principles, design patterns inherentance and all other useful stuff.

I am dedicated to making a career in programming and want to do my assessment the correct oop way. Although the lecturer doesn't care and is instructing the class to do it procedurally and shit.

I could do the program really quickly the shit procedural way and still get full marks but I feel dirty as hell coding like a scrub. So I'm 60 hours in on this assessment and there are so many classes and even more because of unit testing (we don't have to unit test) and I am spending way too much time.

My code is beautiful, my classes are tiny and maintainable, easy to modify and I'm learning so much about how to code oop the correct way with the help of a mentor and someone I look up to. But god does it take forever to code this way. And soo many iterations and redesigns because I'm still learning.

It's almost done but now I have another programming assessment for another class I'll have to do the dirty way because of time restraints and other assessments.

Sorry for wall of text but this is stressing me out 😛

Two states of a developer every day:

• Fuck this job. I hate everyone and everything. My code sucks. It's not working. Why did I choose this career?! I am so miserable.

• It works! I'm a programmer god. Oh my goodness I'm smarter than everybody.

I am not good with kids. I know I know. Last week or so, my managers kid thought it would be a good idea to hijack my meeting. I was sharing my screen and on full blown explanation mode, only to realise after my explanation, it was the kid who was looking at my face and not the boss man.
God I panicked. I was like 'Who the hell are you?'
--------*INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE HERE *---------

!dev !rant

Personal life update:

Like I said a few rants ago, I got a job in a call center for a national Japanese food chain. I am getting a pretty good salary for a teenager, and I am being paid the same amount as the other call center agents.

What I didn’t tell you is that I am doing a pre-university SAT, and it’s pretty much destroying me. I regret choosing to do it.

About AltRant: currently on short hiatus, though I swear to god that I will DEFINITELY upload it to TestFlight so you can get a taste of the app. All I ask is patience. I think I will wait until iOS 15 is out because the latest betas created a massive issue in a few parts of the app. All of them are aesthetic but damn it, I want to fix them only when they are officially there to stay because right now iOS 15 is still in beta.

Not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved.

Just spent 5 years trying the get into this class. Studying and asking and getting recommendations. I knew it had less than a 5% pass rate but it's all that I've been aiming for for years.

Finally got into it, and spent 4 months working my ass off. Today I got told that I'm maybe being dropped. And honestly, as disappointed as I am, and I might need a new dream to aim for, I'm actually pretty okay with it.

I've been so stressed and annoyed and unhappy lately. I was starting to debate if this is even what I want. And for the first night in a while I can just drink whisky and not worry about the next test or doing classwork at midnight instead of sleeping.... I can just relax and whatever happens happens. I can't control how tomorrow goes.

Not sure if "oof. I need a drink" or "thank god, lets celebrate with a drink!"

i have been working on a web-based game and this is my daily routine (also i listen to rock and metal)

college to home to coding
thinking
coding...
looks like theres a small bug
shouldnt take much time
maybe this can work
*screaming*
i am not the first with this bug *here i come stack*
dont do this to me stack... theres suppose to be a fix for it
*extreme head banging*
F*** it
*changing songs*
nope this not helping
F***
F*** THIS SHIT
*rhythmic head banging*
oh god kill me
F***
am i really that bad
*autistic screaming*
humming song instead of thinking of bug
(8 - 8:30) me: mom i am hungry
this shit is taking toooo much time
*high intensity screaming*
F*** you bug
coding, its not form me
*surfing devrant*
*felling i am normal*
(10 - 10:30) mom: when are you eating
*high pitch screaming*
i am leaving coding for sure now
its too late time to sleep
fml its late again, i am gonna miss the first lecture again
back to coding

A thousand year later...
Bug status: Still not fixed

Everything works fine until your manager starts looking at your code and all of a sudden your screen starts interacting with your manager- "Here is a bug there is a bug and you have got a lazy developer who ignores me like a dumb."

And I am here like wtf ... Wasn't it working fine earlier...

Manager in anger... Me in shock and code is totally in revenge mode...

Oh god... turn this Monday back to Sunday!!!

Scary Monday story begins....

backstory: i was bored and decided to recreate basic hardware modules/ICs in JS

today, i just made a 555 in JS on the first try

am i god? :O

I am sitting on a fucking vibrator!!

PoV: Writing my code, minding my own business, listening to lofigirl.. private Schema<?> asSc
<rrrrrrrRrRRrRRRRRRRRHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRRRRRRRRGGGGGRRRGGRGRGGRGRRRRRRRRrrrrrr.><KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK><3.5sec pause><rrRRRRRRRHHHRHRHRHRRRRRRRHRRHHRHHRRRRrrrrr>
hema(Type ty
<hhRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrRRRrRRRRRRRrRRRRhhRHHrHRHHRRRrrrrr>
pe) {

How the hell am I supposed to concentrate when my neighbours are trying to make me cum with a drill.

Swear the God, my ass is on some serious vibro.

Riddle me this

Client wants solution based on open source software.

Any additional software that I write (let's say, an offline store plugin for Feast feature store) to add missing functionality has to be closed source.

Fuck you. Intellectual property my ass. You and me wouldn't even have projects if it werent for OSS.

Good luck maintaining the plugin after I am gone.

I'm doing a lot of work and will have close to nothing to show to future employers.

(BTW, if it were for the old Microsoft model of code source, I would have never become a programmer of any sort. God bless OSS)

By:Miss. Lucia Wright
Punchline : VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE MY DEAR

 

 

 

Dearest Friend,

My greetings to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am sister Lucia Wright I am married to Archdeacon. Collins Wright whom until his death served as an archdeacon in the St. Micheal's archdeacon in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2005. We were married for eleven years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. After the death of my Husband I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $22. Million in a security and finance company in London for safe keeping.

Presently, my Doctor confirmed to me that I have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Haven known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages,helping the widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that? Blessed  is the hand that giveth'. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't  want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way,

this is why I am taking this decision.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says That? the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace'. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the security and finance  were the amount sum is deposited for you to contact them, I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply. Due to present condition of my health,I was warned by my doctor to avoid receiving or making any call. For that,I have submitted the information of  the deposit to  my lawyer, As soon as I hear from you I will forward to you the lawyer's contact.

Remain blessed in the Lord,

Miss. Lucia Wright.

Well ok... If you want me to, I can surely help you out 😈😈😈😈😈

These are the programmers who I had encountered and detest intensely:

1. Programmers who addicted to take other programmers' failure as an achievement.

2. Programmers who are overly arrogant. (Hey just because you know something , that don't make you a God)

3. Programmers who stealing my code without crediting me, and yet he got paid.

4. Programmers who discourage new developers.

5. Programmers who can't take criticism (Once I told a dev that his code is not clean as he decided to name the variable like __fuckingFuckingFuckningVar = "Fuck"; , he yelled at me that i am a MF. Which it's completely childish in my opinion, as a software engineer, I think programme a clean code for easy maintain and understandable for others, it is a responsibility.)

6. Programmers who compare me with others.

7. Programmers who are not friendly. (Don't be like Stackoverflow).

Windows being like... "60secs left! Nonono wait it's 50mins! Aaah i wanted to say 10. It's definitely 5 now, i am sure this time, 16 is correct!"

God damn it stop wasting computation power for this boolshit and copy faster instead!!!

I UNDERSTAND POINTERS (kind of) HAHAHAHA NOW I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO USE THEM AND I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE

Am annoyed. Not mad, just very disappointed. So the guy I emailed yesterday about doctoral research positions hasn't responded yet, and this is causing me somewhat of rejection anxiety, specially considering recent events.
Honest to god, if this one fails I'm abandoning academia and research and making cool stuff. Fuck society. I could make so many useful life saving stuff, but they didn't let me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, I'm enjoying my current minimum wage occupation. It's stressless and repetitive and I pay fuckall for tax. I didn't want to go antisocial, but I was driven here. So there. This is why y'all can't have nice things. 🎤💧

This week's huge fuck you goes to... Drumroll please...
Slack!

You earned this prize for your stupid auto-sleep if there is no interaction for x minutes!

I don't want to install your crap software on my system, so i am forced to alt tab every 15 minutes just to press space and then delete, because God forbids i am being productive on my freaking IDE, second computer, test device and/or meeting!
Also lovely how phone notifications are not sent on mobile unless you are on sleep mode... How could I ever ask for urgent notifications if i take a small break? Oh, right! I should go to sleep mode, so people will think i didn't touch your shitware for 30 mins every fucking time i go to the toilet! :D

Please get your prize whenever possible!

FUCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!

I need to get off this frustration out of my system.

I have a autistic retarded sister who has less than a half brain cell.

Evolution from fish to humans was faster than completion of a task assigned to this faggot.

I fucking hate her. Why was I born in this family. Fucking why!!!!!

Autistic narcissistic cunt. Horrible human.

Doesn't have any friends, no family member cares for her, entitled bitch, earns less than $75 a year.

Whenever we meet, she makes sure to belittle me in front of our parents and gives advices and gyaan on how superior she is and how much waste of oxygen I am.

Constantly mentions that my career choices are stupid, whereas she is doing great (in reality she isn't even able to score a simple degree and no one is willing to hire her).

Acording to her, I have zero financial literacy and she is a genius (in reality I am managing the entire family finances and providing for everyone).

Even when I ask her about something, she says that I am asking stupid questions where as in reality she is an anti vaxxer. God damn fuck!! She was stopping my parents to get vaccinated. Fucking bitch.

There's a simple 20 minute task regarding some tax work and she took more than 2 weeks to even comprehend my request and now screams at me for raising the request on the last day. Bitch WTF! I told you well in advance and now you fuck me up entirely.

My parents are so fucking biased and will blindly side her because she is a girl and using this argument they have destroyed me emotionally over years.

Yes, I no longer care for any of these maniacs and want to leave this place asap.

For now, for the life of me, I am ready to pay more than $3500 extra in taxes than deal with this woman child.

Joined a startup which does webscraping. I never knew that webscraping can be so much monotonous. I feel like I am doing a damn support job. Apart from that websites keep blocking the scrapers, and that is another thing to be fixed. jesus christ, non devs keep asking for ETA about how long would it take to complete a certain task. Thanks to remote work, I have been burnt out every day, and have been working for 14+ hours everyday!!!!! God help me!

Recently at school...
We got new projectors in every classroom. My teacher asked me if you can turn the projector. It's worth mentioning that the projectors are installed under the ceiling (hopefully this sentence is correct). WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? THE ALMIGHTY GOD OF PROJECTORS?
IDK if this is funny but I thought I share it with you.

Caller: Hi, I work with Google. Can I talk to the decision maker of [your company]?
Me: I am. (Ho, my god, this is finally happening, I'm the chosen one!)
Caller: Would you like to improve your visibility on Google by ...
Me cutting short: Thanks but I'm not interested.
*Click*
To myself: Raaah, me too I work "with" Google!

(no my phone doesn't do *click*, it does *bee doooom*, but well)

I'm using framework X, I managed to google and fix the bug in a few seconds, nice!

I'm using framework X with library Y, I managed to google and fix the bug in a few minutes, nice!

I'm using framework X with library Y and Z that adds certain features, I managed to google and fix the bug in a few hours, I need a bathroom break and coffee but great!

I'm using framework X, runtime environment version 3, library X and Z and am trying to achieve T because god knows why and managed to only find 2 old stackoverflow topics and 1 reddit post almost completely unrelated but I tried their code anyway and I feel so miserable I'm behind schedule and can't seem to be able to fix this stupid issue what am I doing with my life oh please...

i am at the point of deep depression again as a CS student. a few weeks back and forward is a busy weeks with a lot of team projects/research. as always, team project never be as smooth as i expect, I always who be the one who work in the project with the rest of the team and they doesn't even care what the project does.

also a few week forward there will be a Leadership Training, and i just quit from it, why ? because i need sleep. why again ? BECAUSE I AM THE *ONLY* ONE WHO WORK ON THE PROJECT YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT, i am the one who can't sleep everyday working on the project scraping the deadline and class hour.

why i drop important thing (Leadership Training) just to keep me from depriving my sleep and to keep the project up while the team disregard me? am i being too humble yet i just rant about "don't be too humble".

..i...i just... I just can't take it anymore. :( god help me

Vodafone India is so shit omfg

Run npm install, ERROR json parse error due to ssl exception

Run pip install, again ssl exception

Run gradle build, again ssl exception!!!

Now everytime i gotta make a new project or install a dependency in anything, i have to pray to the blood god that cache contains a valid/uncorrupted package dependency or else ill have to nuke cache and borrow internet from someone else.
Once i port it to some other operator, i am gonna incinerate this mf sim.

Every god damn time I have to interact with windows I hate it more and more. I sold my old Dell PC, and said I'd install Win10 on it for the dude.

It's now been 2 hours of me trying to figure out why the Win10 installer complains about missing drivers, and trying to figure out exactly what drivers are missing, because they sure as absolute fuck don't tell you.

"A media driver your computer needs is missing. This could be a DVD, USB or Hard disk driver. If you have a CD, DVD, or USB flash drive with the driver on it, please insert it now."

Well how the fuck am I supposed to know what driver you need? The least helpful error message in the history of computing....

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!

so it seems that instead of windows updating and restarting without user consent, now they ask you every few hours to restart your pc and install ''The newest windows features''. It's insanely annoying! And why the fuck am i receiving updates every single day, sometimes even few times a day. This is way more annoying than windows updating itself every now and then.

Get fucked !!!!!! (whoever thought this is a brilliant idea)

Am going through documents and found an old review on a paper I wrote in semester 1. Now, I wouldn't say my paper was either good or bad. There was not enough guidance provided in the unit and I was unfamiliar to the scientific asshole community so I tried my best.

But in particular, fuck reviewer 2. He doesn't understand basics in English and he has the audacity to make judgement. Like, I am not "misspelling" you moronic asshole who doesn't even know the difference between American and English spelling.

He wrote three fucking pages. This moron wrote about half the length of my paper about why my paper is shit. I hope he chokes on shit.

He goes on to why every figure was useless or wrong; How no section is related to another; How everything is either not explained enough, or explained too much. The audacity is what he suffers from throughout the review.

In conclusion, and given the contrast between reviewer 1 and 2, I'd recommend reviewer 2 goes on to fuck himself. Moronic bastard.

It's a pity that I know this will happen again in future. God this makes me so angry. Gah.

Trump: I pay taxes as little as possible!
Me: I write code as little as possible!

I have written less than 2000 lines of code in production in 5 years(about 2 line per working day)but with my luck, I earn more than average wherever I live. God, I live this profession AND my luck.

Note: I write fewer sloc not because I am lazy but because of my industry.

(I am talking about my school’s promotional project, look at my rants for reference)

Deadlines were insane and I had nothing to do about it. Had to touch JavaScript for the first time in 3 years and code like I still know it by heart.

In short: H.E.L.L. It stands for:

H oh
E god
L never
L again

Out of nowhere my Linux Mint crashed and I can only enter emergency mode. What the hell Mr. Torvalds?

Thank god my home folder is in a separated partition and all my data is on remote git but I am atill very annoyed since the crash was in middle of my tunnel blick.

yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..

but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..

just understand it , God damn these shit people :(

Oh god... technical decisions should be taken by people who actually know what they are doing and even so still counter-checked and not followed blindly.

I am currently working in a company that wasted millions by trying to implement micro-services where they don't belong and didn't step back when they realize it was a mistake

(protip: micro-services usually don't belong in most places).

Now we're dealing with the sunken costs fallacy and I am seriously believing that the company is going bust in a few months. Let's wait and see.

Most of you will shout TGIF
Well, I am shouting PNGIF (Please No God It's Friday)

I am working with a team that's producing tons of new services..
And me being a fresher, reading new designs every other day with God knows complex implementations and business requirements and attending design review meetings(where I can barely understand anything)
having a great learning curve..
Hopefully, I survive this period and cope up with the inputs...
Note: Just don't ask what's my contribution.. I am gearing up for the D-Day to make my impact(not a negative one).. 😎

!!!!!!!!RANT!

today (~9h ago) i was in college lab, alone, and few minutes later 2 seniors came in and sat behind me and started working on some webpage and they were talking about HTML and CSS and all of a sudden one guy says "how can we make a page responsive?" and other guy goes "we use JavaScript"

my brain: "wtf, JavaScript?? are you nuts? responsive pag- are you fucking cra- why am i even- why the fuck would you say Jav- why God why??”

i had to get that off chest...

Am I the only one that wishes that YouTube to either:
-becomes a separate company from google (because, god damn it. Its the only app thats keeping me from going gappless or use microg)
-gets replaced entirely with something not related to google and actually respects the creators

I am a learn it all, do what you can kind of guy. I work alone so Fullstack I guess, hate UI though, god saves boostrap.

What I say:
I understand computers.
What others understand:
I am the god of Computers I understand every Language that ist out There and what I cant solve is impossible...

First-time goona work on frontend(my worst nightmare).
That too Angular.
That too on a file containing 900 LOC.
That too with no proper naming, variable names x,e, obj.
That too with no comment.
Cant take help as I am the lead(name-sake, small team, I have 6month more experience than others)

I have 2 days(thank god for the weekends).

Fuck...Fuck...I missed writing CLI apps.

I always wonder why the IT guys seem to be short tempered when dealing with dev related issues.
Now I understand...

For a few days I have to help my colleague setting up his new project and dear Lord...
I thought I have enough patience because I am a woman...

This guy is very very junior, I couldn't get any input/ideas from him when debugging
Dear god, help us because I am the only one with enough experience in this project.

I regret moving to backend. I loved the days when I used to write lines of code and refresh my browser for the changes to be displayed on the screen. I loved seeing the output of my code, the code flow, the light weight text editor, the visual satisfaction and the chrome debugger.

Now I am fucked up, I am working on creating microservices for restful api. I am hating everything about it. The fact that I should compile the entire war, manually copy them to a webapp folder, restart my tomcat and wait for 5 minutes just to see my code, and the text editors are just a pain in the ass, the debugger sucks too.

I was so looking forward to being a backend Dev because I thought Java was cool and I also was fedup with cross browser optimizations on the front end. Now I would gladly write a streaming service foe ie6. Spring has fucked me up so hard

God save me from this mess.

This will definetly be an unpopular rant but god damn it I hate to work with untreated depressed people. It's fucking nearly impossible to convince them to try out something new. They are always pessimistic or think that they know everything. They don't care about new things happening around them. Every time in work when we encounter some obstacle it looks like the world has ended for them and every god damn time I need to give pep talks to them like we are in some war and I feel like I need to inspire soldiers to fight even though they are 100% convinced that they will die.

Im done with being a therapist for them. I don't have unlimited amounts of tolerance and energy, I am a human also. I can't keep sugarcoating what I see and I can't continue walking like on eggshels just because somebody is too weak to even take a constructive criticism without becoming passive agressive for days or weeks. I realized that their negative pessimism has started to rub off on me and I think it's time to put an end to this.

Please if you have depression get some help, don't expect that new workplace or employer will motivate you enough to turn your life around. Don't expect that putting on a mask will actually hide who you are and that your condition will not impact others around you in work. Just stop pretending and get some actual help. Start from yourself.

I thought other people were weak for having to rely on coffee to be productive. God I was wrong. Now I am the worst caffeine addict in the office.

What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.

Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.

For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!

Have you ever been so confused with the professor requirements for a Java requirement that you had to decompiled his fucking example only to realize he went COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT ROUTE THAT THE BLACK ASSHOLE HE REQUESTED? GOD I FUCKING WANT TO THROW THROW MY MACBOOK AT HIM, IM HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY FOR 12 HOURS, ITS FUCKING 5 AM RIGHT NOW, THE SUN IS FUCKING RISING AND THERE IS LIGHT IN THE SKY TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF LIKE JESUS CHRIST WHAT AM I A CODESLAVE NOW? FUCK.

FYI, there's also an addition of 7 students with me too, we're doomed.

Most memorable co-worker for me is my senior dev at my first job. He is awesome. He taught me everything and he never complained even if I ask some basic things and never got irritated when I made dumb mistakes.. he just simply explained and ask not to repeat that mistake. He gave me one advice that never ever be egoistic about your code, Yes you can feel proud but don't be like I will never tell or explain to my junior ones. Cause of Him I am good mentor/trainer also :) along with developer. Thank god at my first job he was mentor.

Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.

Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!

Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!

I am so fucking tired of sitting here all day every day adjusting paddings and margins. Oh fucking hurr durr you got one of the millions of fucking elements to not overflow on your page, well does it work on *this* resolution and *this* orientation? No, well fix that and then go back and fix what it breaks.

I swear to God I never want to touch fucking CSS again it's all I've done for a yesr and it is driving me up the god damn wall. This is my career, I shouldn't fucking dread coming in to work because I know how much bullshit I'll have to deal with. It's awful.

I don't get how anyone has good looking complicated pages that just look good on every possible resolution, it's fucking mind boggling that anyone can sit there and adjust heights and widths and paddings and margins and floats for hours on end nonstop just watching shit get broken and fixed and broken and fixed and AHHHHH

I need a fucking smoke and a pint just so I don't have to think about this anymore

Am I the only one who thinks that the amount of repost in the last weeks are too god damn high?!

Why, for the love of God, is the only user on the computer an administrator?! WTH Windows!! Why wouldn't I want full control over my computer if I AM THE ONLY ONE USING IT 😡😠

Oh my god, I'm basically at the verge of self-destruction! I've been trying all day to set up a simple Node server with react, but it's never that easy, is it? You need Babel to transpile ES6 + JSX to ES5, and then you need Webpack for god knows what reasons, and there are so man configuration files and options, and there are 1000 tutorials with 1001 ways to do something. I've created probably 20 new project because when I complete a tutorial and try to do something on my own, all hell is loose and I get some cryptic error message and am unable to ever get it to work. Holy cow, I need a drink... Am I just a retard? Greetings from Norway, by the way!

Added .travis.yml to my repo.
Worked first time.

I am a god.

So.... My mom became a victim of cyber bullying. And i just feel sad for her. She is an old but smart lady in her 50s and not very used to modern tech and cyber crime.

We follow a (now dead) philosopher (say 'X') as religion, some random stranger came in their local fb group and started shit posting about X like " he is not a god , he is a thief, follow me , bla bla bla" stuff like that..

I don't give 1 qbit to that shitposter or that fight. I am just concerned that my mom (and many others) got so disturbed that she left the work and came home.

Internet is great , free and all, but as long as everyone is allowed to speak everything without caring for a consequence, simpleminded people will keep on getting hurt, evil shitposters will keep on getting fame and people with an unsure mind will keep on making wrong decisions

I can give you numerous examples where a person got the power and fame just because he keep on getting famous for his negetive posts, religious or otherwise. This has to stop, but am not sure how.

Spent 2 hours wondering why Unity Engine sees my 2 joysticks as Joystick 1 and Joystick 5 (or 6 depending on a UBS port).
Turns out, for some reason, Unity remembers ALL the ports that were ever used (even with the usb extender). That's documented...exactly nowhere. Ok, at least I figured that out, but what am I gonna do about it? Nothing, there's no way to change the order.
So after a quick nervous breakdown, and a cigarette break, I decided to build and run the game, just to see how it looks, and...what's this?
Everything's working! Unity removes all the joysticks from it's array and puts only active ones in the right order and that too is documented...NOWHERE!
Ugh... Unity I still love you, but god damn, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!
Needless to say, this day is an emotional roller coaster.

So here I am trying to Code a Rick Astley video on my website so 2 people can watch it in real-time but the code KEEPS DOING THE PART THAT I SPECIFICALLY TOLD IT NOT TO DO UNTIL I GET THE TIME FROM THE GOD DAMN DATABASE!!!!

I am working my ass off for past couple of days to set up our new office. Today I got sick and sleep walked most of the time. Thank god my colleague was there with me. I'm home now and took a day off. 🤒🤒😞

!rant, story

Wonder if I’m alone on this:
I have habits.
Always use the same cup, with very same amount of coffee grounds. Same four presses with the same fingers on the coffee machine.
Same way I place the cups in my desk. Same way I carry my notebook, same way I dry my hands. Same exact spot I place my card on the rfid reader. Use same elevator, same locker. God.
You name it, I do it on my own particular way.

Thing is, that I think about it. I do it consciously. I am just happier if things stay the way they are. It not just muscle memory thing.

Not judging here, just wonder if there’s people who can relate as much 🧐

What a week... I feel like I am on here ranting more than usual.

The Marketing Director and Project Manager keep telling me to let them know when I am stuck on tasks so they can unblock for me, but I FUCKING DO. I don't understand why they keep telling me to speak up, because I use multiple channels to tell those who are the blockers that I need an update.

I add comments on my Monday.com tickets and @ the relevant people, I send MS Teams chats to them, we even have a daily standup where I mention that I am stuck, as well as a OneNote daily update that gets sent to management where I mention that I am stuck and tag the people who need to help me out.

I have been stuck on a task for two sprints, which should have taken me a couple of days to do.

I really feel like I'm talking to brick walls, am I that unimportant? This is supposed to be "agile scrum kanban blah blah blah sprints story points people over process bullshit". I hate it. Y'all are doing it wrong... Fuckin robots.

I need a fuckin drink, thank God it's Friday.

Wrapping up a project, I am cleaning code to give the customer the source code. The project had lasted over a year. I joined the team a few months back and it frustrated me how messy the code was. In my previous teams, any new resource was told to stick with the rules, and eventually they became embedded in them. The case seemed opposite here. Developers who wrote clean code became lax (they made me even more pissed).

Now I have the job of getting rid of warnings, formatting issues etc and I do not say this lightly, but, there was no fear of god in anyone who worked on this codebase. The code formatting I have seen makes me wanna...

tl;dr fuck me, I'm stupid, I suck at my job and I wanna die but can't complain because I'm labeled ungrateful

I am -this- close... -this- close to strangling someone, or myself for that matter, over trying to finish this goddamned website that I regret taking on just because I needed the money.

You make me rework my website design three times and eventually end up micro-managing me and keep on making me make small changes that even I can't figure out, nor can anyone else for that fucking matter because you want it to be 'perfect'. God I'm so irritated right now let me fucking sleep. I want out so bad but fuck me sideways with my gaping asshole I need the fucking money.

I wanna quit this shit so bad, it's making me hate myself and throwing me into an existential crisis whether or not am I even a good designer / developer because I just can't satisfy this perfectionist asshole and need to greet him with a smile every fucking time to maintain good terms between our startups.

the more i learn about web dev, the more i realise the reason for its mess up . There are 2 major problems in it : the people who create various important concepts and tools for web dev were 1) working on it without any collaboration and agreements on the philosophy and 2) were too stubborn on their ideology i guess.

There is no limitation to anything's functionalities, and the limits that are "defined" are badshit crazy. for eg:

====================================
HTML creator : "I am gonna make a language that would provide a skeleton to web page. it will just have the text and basic markers to let the scripting and styling engines/languages know which text is supposed to be rendered and how.
It won't provide any click or loading functionality.

someone: "So i guess opening a page or loading an image would be handled by JS or other programming language? also, bold , italic or division would be added via CSS?"

HTMLguy : Nah, my html engine would ALSO do that.

someone : what , why? won't that just be stupid and against your philosophy?
HTMLguy : WHAT? am too awesome, can't hear you
w3c , 50 yrs later : sorry can't change this, gotta support the 50 yrs of web dev and billion sites

=================================

CSS guy: I am gonna make the world's best beautifying stylesheet language to provide colors, styling, fonts and backgrounds to a page. every loadings and clicks would be handled somewhere else

Some1: cool, then clicks, hover and running of animation would be handled by JS only

CSSguy :Umm, i guess i could handle those.

Some1 wha-?

CSSguy : Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou for the nobel price!

====================================

JS guy : I am gonna make a god web programming language! It can do everything: add/remove html tags, add styling, control animations, control browser, handle clicks , perform operations, everything!

some1: cool! you must be making very large programming language with lots of modules.

JS guy: No! i am gonna keep it small. no built in classes and file imports! just use the functions directly. if someone wants the additional lib functionality, install them on your server

some1 : innovative! what's typeof NaN ?

JSguy :shut up.

WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO RANDOM PEOPLE WRITE ME UP ON DISCORD TO HELP THEM WITH THEIR DEVELOPMENT ISSUES. I AM OPEN TO HELP BUT I AM NOT A FUCKING CODING SERVICE.

So the universe is determined to fuck with me for no other reason than the fact that I exist.

I managed to get 2 dates with 2 different girls (obviously) for next weekend.

And now, Australia is going into lockdown: No restaurants and shit.

So far, I am still laughing about the whole situation but now I am faced with either calling it off (which sucks because this lockdown can go for 6 months) or find another way to meet up.

I'm tagging this as a question to see if you guys have any ideas.

As for this fucked up universe... if the parallel MrCSharp is somehow watching me from the parallel universe that has a good 2020 going on at the moment, can you please like take me to your 2020.. that'd be fab.

Oh.. and my office is now fucking closed and forced to work from home. No more gym too..

god fucking damn it...

GOD why am I CONTINUALLY RESUBSCRIBED to garbo random newsletters!

we need to start a new internet altogether

and I know what's happening, these idiotic "tech influencers" pay some shady service to "bOosT YoUr FoLloWiNg bY 100X!!!" and they're blatantly just breaking the law, breaking GDPR, etc. etc., its bots all the way down, cant wait for clowns with 2 braincells to use a chatGPT integration with the web, content will just get SO much better fuck