*In a team meeting*

Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*

Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*

It was a nice conversation.

that's why I have trust issue

And that's why we're all single...

When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

That's why I love amd~

And that's why there are scientific programming languages:

"Hey, you are the Java guy, aren't you? My Java is broken!"

Me: *Takes a look at the code*

if ("4+4".equals("5+3")) {
System.out.println("Same result!");
} else {
System.out.println("Different result!");
}

My boss makes a dollar I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time!

A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."

😂

When you're trying to optimize a process and a team members gets upset because "that's not the way we've done it before!"

No fuck. That's why we are fucking improving it.

Uncle: Programmers who design physics engines do so by typing 1s and 0s on a console. That's why they get paid so much.

Me: 🤔🔪

That's why I never believe common sense when I write Javascript.

I hate the fucking news websites that make you press a "read more" button. Of course I want to read more, that's why I clicked on your fucking article!!

Got into the monday tech meeting, CTO be like: we lost 10% of users due to last version, terrible I know, but that's really valuable data, I want you to find out why they left.

And that's why my friend has rewritten a script 4 times now

I can't watch others use a computer.

That's not how you ask google a question.

You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.

Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?

Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?

I got a call from the recruiter today and she asked me for my current salary. When I told her, she replied "Based on your experience and skill set, that's too low".

"That's why I am looking for a job"

I cried internally 😥

I type very fast and nearly without errors when tipsy. (tipsy is a step between normal and drunk here)

Also my easy-problem solving skills become awesome when on alcohol.

That's why i love programming tipsy! 😊

I like my inputs. Buttons are fun! Guess that's why I ended up here.

(clicks on HTML tutorial video)
(ad starts playing)
"You need a website, why not do it yourself?!"

Arghhhhh that's exactly what I'm trying to do 😡

When a customer asks you, why your C++-API is not working... He initializes the array at 1, because he "learned Matlab first" and "that's how arrays are supposed to be initialized" 🙄

Project Manager: You used a hash/salt to encrypt the password in our customer database?

Me: Yes.

Project Manager: That's mean we will not be able to see the password?

Me: That's the whole point. Why would you want to see what password customer is choosing?

Project Manager: Change it. Use random encryption method.

As a student trying to find an internship for a software engineering position, my subpar transcript being brought up during the interview always has me like:

Interviewer: "Why is your GPA so shit???"
Me: "Fuck you that's why!"

😤😥

CEO: Can you make this and this
Me: Yes!
CEO: That's great, you can start working on that
Me: coding ... testing ... coding ... finished
CEO: Great it works, but can you explain to me what are the benefits of this
Me: ..... (why did you ask in the first place)

"I hate C# and Java because compiling takes forever. That's why I use JavaScript."

npm install && gulp

...9 years later...

From Mr Robot
“Most coders think debugging hardware is about fixing a mistake.
But that's bullshit.
Debugging’s actually all about finding the bug.
About understanding why the bug was there to begin with.
About knowing that it’s existence was no accident.”
— ELLIOT

DST is my arch enemy.

"Why did I get paid for 7 hours instead of 8?"
"Because you worked from 1:00 till 9:00"
"Yeah, that's 8 hours"
"No it wasn't"

"Why does this input field say invalid time for 02:00?"
"Because that time doesn't exist"

"Why are so many tests failing"
"Because they check timestamps and durations which don't make sense in non-continuous time"

October is even worse...

My sister's college is making them do their Final Year Project in VISUAL BASICS 6.
I mean WHY !?!?
Why use a software that's discontinued and they'll never use?

That's why I love JavaScript.

Non-dev boss: "so, what are you working on today?"
Me: "I'm working on the API"
Non-dev boss: "that's what you said last week! Why aren't you progressing?"
💢

Why did I choose to be a web dev?

I didn't. That's the first job I found, and I didn't wanna starve

"Trinidad And Tobago" changed their country name to "Trinidad & Tobago", and the .Net framework reflected that change.
So that's why this unit test is failing.

I GUESS BULLSHIT IS NOW INTERNATIONAL.

Some data get lost during copy.The limit of clipboard exceeded so that's why pasted data is smaller :D

Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...

Me: What? Why?

Coworker: So he installed some virus...

Me: Yeah? And...?

Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!

Me: That's horrifying..

It's funny. Although I try to only use open source software which is free (at least as in freedom but also as in beer mostly), I'd gladly pay for using it!
But no way on fucking earth I'd pay for proprietary software.

Why?

Because I'd love to support the people behind the free software! They made something awesome and the most awesome thing is, they made it in a way that ensures that the end users can modify it to suit their needs! That's so fucking awesome!

That's why I'd never pay for proprietary software. Can it have awesome features? Yes, of course! But can anyone except for the devs easily modify it to suit their needs? No. And that's why I'd never pay for it.

Guidance counselor at school: so what field do you want to go into?

Me: computer science

GC: what does that entail?

Me: programming

GC: that's like super repetitive, right? You're a smart kid don't do that

In my head: no you mf dingle-dong. That's the job that will take your job away from you in the next 5 years

Ffs, why do people think coding and entering data into Excel are the same things?

Business Analyst: What language is this on the test site?
Me: I believe that's Latin
BA: But why? No one can read what it says
Me: 😂

Customer.... I keep getting this error code
Me.... Deletes message box
Customer.... Wow you fixed that quick
Me.... That's why you pay us.

Guy: We should build a Blockchain based review website.
Me: Why does it have to use a Blockchain?
Guy: That way we can verify that only real people are leaving reviews and not bots.
Me: That's not really how Blockchains work.
Guy: Blockchain!

This is my life in the university in a nutshell. That's why I learned so much algorithms. :')

Me on Slack:

I was looking for the `busy` status here in slack but there's only `active` and `away`. That's when I realized why this app was called `Slack` in the first place. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So I found out I'm only earning 50 cents higher than the minimum wage. Nice, very nice...

... And that's why the backlog of unfinished tasks keep piling up. You get what you pay for.

guy: why do you use a vpn?
me: cause I don't want my info stolen
guy: nobody can steal info from wifi that's just in the movies.
me: ...

was on wifi in a Starbucks close to Atlanta

Yep... That's probably how it actually is and why everything I get is high priority...

I've always wanted to be a wizard, like Harry Potter that's why I became a programmer.

Aww SwiftKey, after two letters youre suggesting the right password, that's so nice of you...

Wait a minute... WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?

You're not a password manager and you don't do that with other passwords, what's wrong with you?

The fuck did you think was going to happen?

User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.

PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?

Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.

I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.

PM: Well that's not what x said.

Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)

PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits.

I hate seeing Bootstrap under "Required skills" for the front end jobs.
Why? Why is it REQUIRED? Why not "Bootstrap is a plus"?
I know HTML,CSS and JS well enough to be able to do anything without a framework.
I know it might be faster, but that's only is you want similar looking websites.
I'm sorry Bootstrap, it's not you, I'm just not ready to make a commitment yet.

At laptop, building a complex task and have my Atom editor opened. Client arrived at my desk.

"That's why the development is so slow. You have to paint all those words."

I honestly don't understand why some developers like to shit on other's preferences.

Don't like PHP? Fine, but don't give shit to somebody else for liking it or coding in it.

Not a fan of Javascript? That's cool, but do realize that there are people who enjoy coding with it and don't appreciate you talking shit about their preferences.

Don't like a certain framework? That's okay, but again, there are people who code with it so don't tell them that they shouldn't.

"That's a frontend problem."

Really? And you call yourself the engineering lead? Oh right, "frontend is not engineering", was that it? Ok, thanks a lot for the help, you can continue licking your balls now. I don't know why I still bother trying to ask you for advice.

My brother, as a 23 year old trying to apply for mechanical engineering jobs, came across this posting!

That's why they say, start young, kids :P

!Rant

*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*

"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."

"Why?"

"Big virus leak"

"But that's not ha.."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"

Fuck mysql charset shit. Pretty easy to forgot setting charset in server side config file. And after creating several databases/tables, boom! All in latin1. That's just so convenient. are you kidding me? Why would any modern database have their default charset to be latin1??? rather than utf8? Oh, just forgot again, that's utf8fuckingmb4 on mysql land.

Learning CSS .
Understand CSS shadow today.
Did a little practice..
And come up with this. It's too easy..
Doing more practice just because it's fun 😄 I think that's why most coders code ! Because it's fun 😊 though I know it's not even "programming language" 😂

Product manager: "Programmers are limitted to computer programs, that's why app developers can do mobile devices too!"

Me: "Programmers are not limited to computer programs, its a general skill"

Product Manager: "Then why App
Development is a career?"

Yes that's python vomiting some pure C++. Why because i am lazzy AF

That's why Amazon is special. Look at the what's new section for the app update.

You know that moment you realize you read/write the wrong variable, and that's why u were stuck for 2-4 hours?

That.

Google Translator is based on a complex machine learning system, that's why we can safely say that Google Translator is one of the best translators that you could use

That's why I hate front-end development

me: "Why is the QA guy manually typing JSON into a production environment?"
asshole: "That's not your responsibility."
me: "Why didn't you just migrate data? This is dangerous."
asshole: "You need to go sit down."

Area of focus: my desk
Why: because that's where my laptop sits

Q: Why isn't it working after a whole fucking day of trying?

A: Because I'm a fucking idiot. That's why!

Why the fuck do employers post remote position jobs, only to let you know in the first call that they require the employee to live in/near a certain city. That's not a remote position and it happened several times in my job hunt

My friend: I think WA. is very secured that's why I use it.
Me:

Do coding outside of work. I got into the industry because I enjoy writing code, but your job won't always be fun. That's why they give you money. Make sure that spark of joy doesn't die.

Or, when it does die, at least you'll have something to rant about.

C#

Little Sister: Why is the hashtag in the wrong place?

Me: Kid, that's not a hashtag. That is a sharp. C - sharp.

When you live in a 3rd world country, get a relatively expensive 16mbps connection (that's still very unreliable), and try to clone WebKit… why the hell is it so large even with `--depth 1` and `--single-branch`? Why doesn't `git clone` support resuming/incremental cloning? Is this even 2018?

I want to code but life is actively fighting me right now. I hate this.

/rant

Ok I'm finally learning Ruby and...

why the hell is an else-if 'elsif'

that's just disgusting

I just spent 2 hours configuring my parents' new Huawei wifi router using my phone's Google translate because the UI is all Chinese.

'oh so that's why it was cheaper'

Boss: Why did you schedule a party?
Me: newGuy just made his first productive contribution to the group.
Boss: That's great! On that note I'd like you to meet superNewGuy. He's like newGuy but comes with the added bonus of being unfireable!
Me:........... You don't get cake........

That's it. That's all I have for my home server setup. I don't even know why we have that sticky red thing, but today it came handy. And now I can SSH anytime I want, it's never going get shutdown 😂

Just to clarify thing, FaceID isn't the same tech as what we've had on Android.

In Android, it's based on image recognition. That's the reason it was so easy to bypass with a high resolution photograph.

In FaceID, it projects thousands of dots on your face and creates a depth inclusive map which is used for verification. That's the reason why it's supposed to work even if you have glasses on, etc

So please let's stop with the comparison

"Well this is Java, that's intelliJ"
-Guy in my CS class figuring out why my code works and his doesn't

@localhost that's my setup. btw its saturday, so I aint hitting a single key that's why the screens are off

Writing a new service. (Will be free for now)

Writing up an Ajax PUT request and when it executes, I see an options request firing, that's good.

But no fucking PUT request afterwards!?

WHAT WHY FUCK ME HELP 😢

None, for me, but that's why I work as a cybersecurity engineer and not a dev!

But, I do tons of side projects and the reason why I love it: it makes me feel like I'm in God mode. (and helps me solve quite some problems)

Quite ironic, for an atheist ;)

There is no technical reason why Microsoft should buy Github, no!
It's the same reason why they bought Skype, LinkedIn and Minecraft and everything else: Money and monopolisation.
That's destructive and an obstacle to progress.
Microsoft, Google, Apple, Facebook: Go fuck yourself!

Teaching JavaScript to a master of classical programming (only uses C++, Python, Ruby, etc.). Here are the results:

1. What
2. What the fuck
3. Why
4. Why the fuck
5. Oh shit that's useful
6. Oh shit that's stupid
7. Why would anyone do that
8. Why isn't anyone else doing that
9. This is crazy complex
10. This is stupid easy

That's why I love Python, just write a quick derpy code to do a very long and boring task

Little me sees Monitor.
Monitor depicts Things.
Box make beep boop.

"Cool! But why?"

That's basically it.

Got a ticket form a client reporting a calculation giving the wrong outcome.

In return I ask her what she thinks the outcome should be and why.

"The right answer because I said so."

Yeah thanks that's going to help a lot.

Beginners be like, "First rule of programming, If it works don't touch it". But experts will be like "Why does it work?". That's why they are called experts.

I've been fucking around with arch since 9pm and now it's 2am...I have class tomorrow...why did I do this to myself? oh that's right because it looks beautiful.

Nooooooooo! My wife told one of her friends that I'm a DBA. The response. "Oh. That's good to know. I've been having this problem with my cell phone." No! Why? Aughhh!

Maybe that's why rubber ducky needs Chuck Norris for debugging......

Credits : A Facebook page

When you've walked into a room and forget why you're there.

That's me when I've opened a new file in Atom.

Hey... to somebody reading this, most likely.

The problem, is that you put if($var = 'something')
You need ==, not =.
Php doesn't tell you that though. It'll just change the var to 'something'

That's why you're getting that really obscure, doesn't make any sense error.

You're welcome.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!

"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?

"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!

Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!

When you're family asks why the printer doesn't work and I reply "I don't know that's a hardware problem"

I don't get all the amazement etc people show when they find out that I don't use services like WhatsApp, Instagram, Gmail, Outlook, Google etc, why would it be 'weird' to want control over who has/owns your data? That's not being fucking paranoid, that's being conscious about who you give your data to.

I hate birthday celebration(s) at office, that's why I choose to not to disclose my birth-date..

client "we want x, y and z"

developer "ok that's fine they'll cost this much"

client "why will they cost, they won't take you THAT long to do"

So, that's why Python devs look so rough

Thanks guys for the help in the last weeks.
This is what I was so hard trying to print.
Btw... reminder to self, plastic expands. That's why the stepper has duck tape instead of screws lol

When coding is not just your passion or work, but your entire lifestyle..
Maybe that's why still single?

Sure, why not. That's a new.

I just had a WordPress interview on Hangout and got rejected and the interviewer said I build very basic projects.
That's why he can't select me.

What kind of projects do they want??

When you laugh at people who crack their phone screens, and then you drop yours face down on asphalt and your screen shatters. Life is fair sometimes

I don't mind ads in general, I just hate that they provide tracking capabilities. That's why I block all of them. (No, still haven't found a privacy friendly advertisement provider/platform)

That's the reason why I'm still using Windows 10 Insiders builds...when you get into GSoD, you can shoot nice photo where you actually are. For me right now, that's the cafe in the shopping center.

I love Unix, Linux all that shit (macOS can fuck off though). But why WHY WHY does every pissing update have to break something?! Guys I need fucking networking, not even intertubes just basic networking.

Anyway, I've come up with a solution. It is quicker for me to install a new OS and restore files from backup than to fix it, so that's what I do.

LOL that's why I love C!

The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.

Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.

I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)

Why do people mix JS vanilla with framework syntax? That's horrible.

Why do people use jQuery anyways? There's no need at all anymore. It is just dumb JS for dumb devs.

Did that trigger you? - well....

Interviewer: Tell me why should I hire you?
Me: Because that's your job

1 hour trying to record an image to DVD in Linux...
to find out I was using a CD, that's why it didn't have enough space.

I had no idea of how to implement the logic of a ticket. That's why I started with creating some unit tests that failed. Then I continued working until they all passed.

So it works now.

I have still no idea of how I implemented the logic.

What the!
I knew Javascript is messed up as hell but this...

I wondered an hour why "MyObject.size" is zero every time until I finally reallised that I only forgot the brackets.
Why, why does this return zero instead of throwing an exception, or at least "Function" or something like that?

That's bullshit! Arrrrgh...

Dev superpower? Make visual studio install in less than 3 days and without restarting Windows a hundred times.

This moment when you are learning Vue.js and you are constantly forgetting commas and you are wondering why the code doesn't work.
That's even worse than forgetting Semicolons in normal JavaScript. FeelsFuckingBadMan

P.s. This is my first Rant on devRant even if I'm here since 13.11.16.

One thing I will never be able to stop is asking "why" if somebody tells me "X doesn't work", even though every second asshole takes it literal and tells me "I don't know why it doesn't work", instead of just mentally giving it a second and telling "why it doesn't work" by showing a screenshot or a message, because that's more likely what I meant.

Client: my video player has two play buttons.
Me: ok that's weird let me check yes it does have two play buttons your right so turns out the client has taken a screenshot of another video player with the play button still on it and used that as their poster image hence two play buttons.

Finding it impossible to explain this to them arrrrggggghhh why why why

To download data from Google drive, click on the download icon. But to download data from Google contacts, click on the upload icon! Why? because that's not upload but export, at least in the minds of Google's UI designers if there are any.

dad: yeah sure , that's why no laptop is working well in this house

all three laptops are older than 4 years and use 5400 rpm hdds and also are full of my parent's stuff.

Medium before:
How to perfectly manage a reactive server with 4 frameworks blindfolded

Medium now:
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF AI
AI WILL KILL US AND RAPE OUR WIVES
YOU ARE USING CHATGPT WRONG!!
DON'T WAIT AI TO STEAL YOUR JOB, KILL YOURSELF NOW

WYSIWANK
Why do they not know this? Spending the time to create beautifully crafted css for bullet lists, only for the client to ignore the bullet list icon in the cms and put some shitty keyboard bullet causing the display page to luck just plain shit. Fucking useless wankers (why do i bother). That's why wysiwyg blocks in cms are a cunt in the hands of fuckwits.

-" hey Linux, webdeveloper from ****** is on the phone and he is having some trouble"
; "aight send him over"

;" Linux speaking"
+" Hi its ***** from *****, my site wont work"

I ask him about more details and the the name of the sites, I quickly realize something...

;" Uhm, it seems like that you have not uploaded any files yes?
+" no I have not, I just wanted to test if the site on your hosting that I just bought Works as I was promised by the salesman"

;" FML"

A: "Mate, do the translations"

B: "Fine, but you guys implemented the translation service so repetitively..."

A: "No, this is not repetitive, that's how we need to do it"

*sigh*

PS: Whenever I call the "trans" method, I think of transgender, don't ask why

I honestly do not understand why people speak so badly about PHP(that's the general vibe I am getting from all these different platforms) or maybe it's because I am still new at it I am yet to find out the reason.

Why have the majority of social networks decided that people using their service in the most basic way deserves a notification?

"Ooh, I have 3 notifications according to the app icon, they must be things that need my attention."
<opens app>
* In case you missed DickSlap's [tweet/post/other]
* RomanHelmet liked a [tweet/post/other] from SpaffMuncher
* MuffSnapper added a new photo

Why does that need a notification? That's just users using your app. That's what I expect when I open the app. I expect to see people posting things. This is going to make me start ignoring notifications in the same way I ignore emails marked as urgent.

Why did I invest in a home automation system? Cable Internet, that's why:

if (! public_internet_available) {
cableModem.turn_off();
cableModem.turn_on();
}

!dev && !rant

@dfox and @trogus my so was like, wait... Is this like a thing to complain? That's awesome!
Wait let me guess it's for developers only, right? Why can't we normal people have this? :O

Got a new guy. Having a dumb meeting. New guy is humblebragging. It is making the dumb meeting longer. I feel angry. Like Warren Moon must have felt in 1995. He is a PhD. That's probably why. Ugh.

Why am I a rockstar today? So glad you asked! I used "sed" without having to look at the manual. 12 files updated, 10 minutes saved... that's some good time to devRant if you ask me.

When you loose 15 minutes looking at why "padding: O;" isn't working... it's time for bed.

...

Yes that's the letter 'O' instead of a number '0'.

A: "It would be great if we can add a snack bar in our office."
B: "Why?"
A: "It makes our developers smarter."
B: "Why??"
A: "Jobs said 'stay hungry, stay foolish'. That's why we shouldn't makes our developers fool."

Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!

Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!

It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I

Turns out what they offered me was barely what I was making at the moment... Why bother even sending me that lame job proposal? You were supposed to want me to work there, or at least that's what you said.

So, I'm 100% sure that in a year I'll look back at today and ask why I thought it was a good idea to implement a feature this way.

Looks good to me today, that's all I know. I'm done ✅

Girlfriend, family, relatives, non-coder friends keeps ranting why I don't follow a social convention of attending usual meetings or gatherings and advising I should rather get some time away from a monitor screen.

*Like that's going to happen, getting away from screen, ever, hahahahahhha*

I hate it every single time my boss says: Don't we have a script for that?

Maybe in he imagination we have everything automated so anything I want to do I just need to press a button. And that's why he thinks me slacking?

That's why I have trust issues

PM: This is broken.
Me: What? It works locally. That's weird...
PM: ...............
Me: (5 mins later) ok try again.
PM: still broken.
Me: Bangs head on desk. Why is this working locally?!?!!?
Me: (3 hours later) I'm missing a semi colon, and it wouldn't minify. Awesome.

Do you know why you should never use grep when working with XML?

$ grep packet/> final.pdml
> *shit, that takes too long, ctrl+c*
$ du final.pdml
> 0 final.pdml

That's why.

>you can order Devrant stickers for free
>but you're not doing that
>'Man, why? That stickers are cool!'
>I know they are cool, but I'm here not for stickers, I'm here for funny community
That's what I think.

"We value your privacy, that's why we want you to agree to all of these tracking cookies."

Fucking GDPR, is getting on my nerves now, can't go anywhere without encountering a cookie wall.

BOOOOOYS

I just figured out after a year of owning the machine why the monitors felt like they were running a bit sluggish in Windows. They were!!

Even though they are 144hz monitors Windows locked them down to 60hz! Fuck, that's so dumb!

Linux didn't do that. Fuck, that's so dumb!

Just found out today that may FINALLY be able to start charging for the development work our team does. 😎

Just have to wonder why this could have happened ages ago.

**Spoilers**
It was the sales team. That's why!

I feel like Gordon Ramsey today.

"The default value is only used when there is no current value for the field. That's why it's called fucking default vAalue!"

I just went to SO to browse questions and learn something or help someone...
And then...
THE FREAKING PRINTSCREEN OF IDE
INSTEAD OF COPYING THE CODE

And you know what's worse?
There was also a PHOTO of the output from the console.

Wow. That's a new level of ratings.
Just read ratings like these below an ascii cam app(which works like it should):
"This is just a camera witu a mosaic filter, that's why you can't save the pictures as ascii"
"This is not real ascii because you can't save it as .txt or .html"

I don't think i need to say anything.

I wish I could declare variables IRL so I wouldn't have to repeat myself 6 times in a row before being acknowledged. Yes, the client left these fields empty, that's why the form returned an error as it should have. No, it's not the code's fault. For once.

Holy Mother of casts.
Just stumbled across a line that started with (((((( because it has so many casts in it...
That's why you don't use instanceof kids.

Describing a friend's project to a friend:
"And then theirs a tinder like element, for filtering potential dates, but that's not implemented yet."
"Why doesn't he just copy tinder?"
"Er... wat?"
"You know, just copy their code and put it in his app."
"You don't... you can't... I mean you can decompile... but that's not useful because... it just doesn't work that way. For a million reasons. I don't know where to begin."

Today I noticed that my colleague is using Light Theme and it's pissing me off. I don't know why but I am really obsessed with it since this morning. I don't feel like talking to her now.

Maybe she's trying to torture me. That's so cruel.

Me: "Need help with build config problems, please help almighty documentation page!"

Docs Page: "Nah fam, I got 4 headers about problems with no text, a blank code example, and 2 error 404 pages."

And that's why I don't like build pipelines.

Coding is essentially problem solving with almost immediate feedback. Video games are also problem solving with almost immediate feedback.

That's probably why most Coders love video games. That and the fact that most people love video games anyway.

:( why can't i have nice things, like linux elementary os?
it's beautiful, but so full of bugs that's barly useable.

When I am on Computer. I like the room to be dark minimum to no sunlight's and cool. That's why I hate my work environment. The room is so fucken bright. Damn those eye strain.

The problem method calls into the...back-end framework!

The back-end framework was built on top of...the older framework!

The older framework was built around...the legacy framework!

The legacy framework was a...piece of shit!

And that's why the site just hangs!

Look at dat boi. He's the most poisonous animal known to humankind and he looks like THIS. He don't have to prove anything, you just touch him and you ded.

That's why I only reply to you boubas when I feel like having fun.

That's why chatbots will rule!

So, I just swatted a huge bug out of the air using my work iPad. Because it was the closest thing handy. I'm pretty sure that's not why they bought me the thing...

!rant
To all the hardcore Vim users:

Why do you prefer Vim over IDEs ?
Are you faster/more efficient using Vim ?
What are it's main benefits/drawbacks in your view ?

I'm familiar with it, but nothing more than that. Usually use it just for quick and dirty edits, but that's all.
I'm seriously considering making the change to Vim and I can't explain why. Read an article once why Vim is still relevant and some features as to why that is, but I'd like to get more opinions on it.

Ah yes, The Hacker News intentionally using intendation errors in python 2 to screw over people using their ddos script. yes. That's gotta be the reason

why the fuck am I even following these trolls

Yeah, please fucking tell the other knob I accidentally starred, ++d, liked, .. his X, that's a great function, better yet, why not make it fully archived, so even if you remove it a second later he's going to know you're the asshole that did it

I don't see the jobs.

-- I added them.

I don't see the "app-name".

-- Well, I have added them via an abbreviation "an".

Why though? That's so confusing. Why would I look for that? Assume I am a new employee. I would not know what it means.

-- You'll get used to it.

I. DON'T. WANT. TO. GET. USED. TO. IT. Why would you waste time by hiding necessary information behind non-saying abbreviation? Clarity counts.

Urgh.

I am ashamed to admit that I only learned recently that omitting 'var' in a JS variable declaration inside a function gives the variable global scope. So that's why it wasn't working properly....

Why!!!
Why must some devs make life complicated!!!!!!

So, here I am enjoying my day (well enjoying the meetings that are taking me away from working) when I get a bug report that script X isn't sending out emails anymore.

Ok that's weird, this as far as I know uses the same email class as every other email being sent out from this project, and they all work.

Let's go have a quick dig...

function sendEmail(){
/*do a bunch of stuff*/
}
Is being used, well that's odd, it should be $emailService->send()
But what ever, it's probably an old wrapper for legacy sake since this script was written years ago. But nope, I almost cried, it's a wrapper for mail() isolated into this script.

Like for fucks sake, why in the hell would this be used when there's an entire fucking class that's tried and tested and only looses 1 email every few months, coz shit happens.

Errrrr.... sometimes i really wonder why people can't just do what they need to do the first time round.

"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."

i really hate writing boilerplate just for showing this animated sprites.

(i know my drawing is bad, that's why i need graphic designer)

My biggest coding motivator is "this thing I'm using is crappy let's replace it" and that's why I have so many unfinished projects.

I saw this site's sticker in the CS Lab. I felt compelled to join. Why? I have a PROLOG midterm in an hour. That's why.

A) "Why did you do that?"
B)<typing>
A) "Hello? I'm talking to you..."
B) "Sorry, i missed to tag this Commit. please see the commit history for your questions. That's why i use the DVCS.

They say "Don't deploy on friday".
That's why we, the part time student team, deploy on saturdays.

Why don't managers/team-leads take into account the time that you get stuck on something that's stupid to ask but it eats up your hours :(

So that's why that infoscreen won't work!

Why I chose computer science?
I simply played GTA vice city when I was a kid , and that's how I became a fan of cs!
SEEMS WEIRD I KNOW:/

Team: let's do "X".
Me: we couldn't do "X" because... We should do "Y".
Team: that's why we're saying let's do "Y"
Me: ...

What!!! What are they even thinking ?

Why the f*ck do you want custom cursor on the site? It's annoying when suddenly your cursor changes from default. If that's not enough they are increasing size by 2-3 times. I understand if it's a gaming site or web game but why do you want to put this crap on a business site? No need to change the cursor for branding. That's stupid.

That's why I hate Windows ! ... Well one of many

Reducers in redux is just like making caramel, you boil (action) the sugar (payload) until the sugar is fully dissolved into golden color (state). That's why the process of making caramel is also called reduction.

Why are you trying to multithreaded c++ file i/o? If you can't write c++ code that's faster than your hard drive, please just don't write c++.

Literally no complex calculations, just some insane string formatting.

Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.

Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!

Client be like:
Hello,

could you please restore our database from today's backup?

At a first glance - nothing out of the ordinary. Daily backups are standard...

Until we get the backed up snapshot running.

MySQLDump is somehow... Stuck. It... Doesn't seem to be doing... Like, anything. For ages. Wtf.

So we check the database. Connect, change scheme and... The commandline tool gets stuck, too. Weird.

So a layer lower, we check the datadir and... ls... After also getting stuck for a bit, lists about 500k files O_o

Yea, dumping a database with roughly ~250k tables is not fun. No wonder it takes ages.

That's why I love the new cpp Mc launcher XD

Why can't GitHub allow you to use a
`/Licenses/` folder for multiple licenses.

Example:

Using a `LICENSE` (AGPLv3 for software) and
`LICENSE-HARDWARE` (OpenHardware Permissive)

That's 'only' two, however there could be
more and regardless they only clutter the root..

That's why...😬😬😬

I've wasted 5 hours
That's why:

val x: Any = 0L
if (x != 0) {
return
}

MOUSER! If I select ‘In Stock’ in your filter I want to see, who would have guessed, only parts that are in stock! Why do you think I want to see all the stuff that's on order?

When coding is your only true love but you're stuck in an Aerospace engineering degree, while a friend of yours in cse is interested in opening a non-cse startup instead. Why? Because fuck Education system, that's why.

I've got tens of thousands of lines (maybe hundreds 🤷‍♂️) in open source bits and pieces. Much of it my own, but also other projects.

Not seen a penny, but never expected to. That's not why I do it.

Ugh... Spent the last hour figuring out why my Python script wouldn't send an email. Turns out my computer used a DNS cache that pointed to the wrong name server, but BT (shitty UK ISP) takes fucking forever to update their DNS. And obviously you can't edit the modem's DNS to the Google DNS, because fuck you that's why.

I want Richard's decentralised Internet right now.

Must contain 8-18 characters, 1 lower, 1 upper and 1 special character. Cannot be the same as email address.

18? Why fucking 18 characters? That's not any pragmatic limit. What fucking product owner came up with that requirement?

Woah, this platform still exists. That's cool, idk why randomly I thought let's check devRant. lol

Why are GIFs still a thing?!? I mean don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against short, audioless videos but why GIF?

GIF only provides a lossless per-frame compression so the performance sucks really bad. For example a 1 MB GIF converted to MP4 is only 100 KB.

So that's why they take longer to load and have so bad quality.

These devs keep getting hold of me to tell me that what I told them to do worked.

Well, yeah. That's why I said to do it.

FUCK documentation that says you can find documentation on the web for something else this requires -- that's where I found THIS documentation! Why not just link it or put a simple example of how to use YOUR product!

AAARRRRGGHHHHHHH

I am so frustrated right now. Why can't a single thing happen peacefully.

Why are there zillions of hurdles in everything that's need to be done.

Existing is painfully expensive.

2am: I can just go to bed at 4am and get 4 hours of sleep and be fine

4am: Eh, I'll just sleep at 6am and take a nap before work.

6am: Who the fuck needs sleep? That's why I bought coffee