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My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!13 -
When you don't wanna fix someone's machine but they won't take no for an answer.
1. Go to
http://fakewindowsupdate.com
2. Select OS
3. Press F11
4. Just tell them it just needed to update and enjoy the show.
9 -
Testivus On Test Coverage
Early one morning, a programmer asked the great master:
“I am ready to write some unit tests. What code coverage should I aim for?”
The great master replied:
“Don’t worry about coverage, just write some good tests.”
The programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Later that day, a second programmer asked the same question.
The great master pointed at a pot of boiling water and said:
“How many grains of rice should I put in that pot?”
The programmer, looking puzzled, replied:
“How can I possibly tell you? It depends on how many people you need to feed, how hungry they are, what other food you are serving, how much rice you have available, and so on.”
“Exactly,” said the great master.
The second programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Toward the end of the day, a third programmer came and asked the same question about code coverage.
“Eighty percent and no less!” Replied the master in a stern voice, pounding his fist on the table.
The third programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
After this last reply, a young apprentice approached the great master:
“Great master, today I overheard you answer the same question about code coverage with three different answers. Why?”
The great master stood up from his chair:
“Come get some fresh tea with me and let’s talk about it.”
After they filled their cups with smoking hot green tea, the great master began to answer:
“The first programmer is new and just getting started with testing. Right now he has a lot of code and no tests. He has a long way to go; focusing on code coverage at this time would be depressing and quite useless. He’s better off just getting used to writing and running some tests. He can worry about coverage later.”
“The second programmer, on the other hand, is quite experience both at programming and testing. When I replied by asking her how many grains of rice I should put in a pot, I helped her realize that the amount of testing necessary depends on a number of factors, and she knows those factors better than I do – it’s her code after all. There is no single, simple, answer, and she’s smart enough to handle the truth and work with that.”
“I see,” said the young apprentice, “but if there is no single simple answer, then why did you answer the third programmer ‘Eighty percent and no less’?”
The great master laughed so hard and loud that his belly, evidence that he drank more than just green tea, flopped up and down.
“The third programmer wants only simple answers – even when there are no simple answers … and then does not follow them anyway.”
The young apprentice and the grizzled great master finished drinking their tea in contemplative silence.
Found on stack overflow https://stackoverflow.com/questions...8 -
One reason for tons of android permissions in simple apps.
I recently installed an app that asked for like 12 permissions. The app obviously needed 2 of them. No more.
I was also right next to the guy that made the app and asked him, wtf?!
The answer:
"We based out app on some other one that needs all that and even though we use just a couple of it's features we can't be bothered to remove the others from the code."
Fuck this guy. Or whoever ordered him to do that.14 -
That time when you search for a bug and find same question at StackOverflow, GitHub and Quora...
All from the same person, and all with no answer.. 😓🐜6 -
A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"
The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.
Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.1 -
Client(On Call): I emailed some query a day before. I got a response too. But, i am not able to find answer of my specific query.
Me: Let me check that for you. Yes, it is there. See the mail carefully.
Client: No. It's not there.
Me: Can you read the whole mail for me?
Client: Sure. *Started Reading* Oh yes. Yes. it is here. *Hangs up the Phone.*
Me: Sigh.5 -
1. Purchased GTA San Andreas from Google Play
2. Always got a download failure at 85% downloaded.
3. Contacted Google support, got asked how my day was going
4. Had no idea how to answer that11 -
Is it OK to make chewing noise when eating in the office a meter away from your colleagues?
I have the answer for you my friend:
.
.
.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO.14 -
How reading E-Mail is hard:
Me:
"Dear client,
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.
We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.
Regards
Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"
Client:
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"
Me:
"Dear Client,
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
"
Client:
(no answer)
Desperate Me:
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
!!@**! :(
Reluctant Me:
"Dear Client,
Please look at the new iteration <here/>
And by the way.. what about that content C?"
Client:
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."
Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"
Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."
-_________-*******10 -
I am a long time lurker on stackoverflow. There was a time I was stuck on an obscure error for so long but finally light shone when I found an answer to that problem on stackoverflow.
Overjoyed, all I wanted is to leave an upvote for the answer; before I realised that you need a +15 reputation before you can do (I know I am late in this game)
So I worked my way to that 15 and it was a tedious one. Stackoverlords deleting my answer, voting no to my edit and reverting another over petty reasons
I fought back by flagging my deleted answer with my reasons and alas the community backed me up by upvoting my answer (which was revived),the original answer poster approved my edit and @me a thank you comment. I was elated
And it is today, I got my +15. That I could finally pay back and upvote the answer from my benefactor4 -
What an awful day :(
The server where I host my 4 clients websites crashed.
Unable to reboot from the console.
I contact the support. 15 minutes later: "we'll look at this"
No news for 1 week despite my messages.
Then... 1st ticket escalation... 2nd ticket escalation... 3rd ticket escalation...
Answer: "Sorry, your server is down and cannot be repaired."
Fuck.
I ask "is there any way to get my data back?". Answer: "No, because we would shutdown the whole bay and all our clients would be impacted".
Fuck.
I subscribe to another server, at another provider.
I look at my backups... shit, the last one is 4 month ago!!
I restore the first website: OK
I restore the second website: OK
I restore the third website: My new server is "too recent" and not compatible. with this old Wordpress. Fuck! I'll look at this later...
I restore the fourth website: database is empty!! What??? I look at the SQL backup for this site... it failed...
I lost ALL my 4th client data!!!
I'm sooooo piece of crap!14 -
Went blank when interviewer asked me do I know KITT. I knew that he didn't mean Knight Rider, but I could not think of anything sensible in the few seconds I had time to answer the question so I answered NO. Interviewer said that it is a basic requirement for the job and it seemed that I lacked the basic skill needed for the job.
Needless to say I didn't get the job. Later that day as I was telling my friends about the interview they seemed really confused....
"... but you know GIT very well. You use it on a daily basis. Why did you answer NO ?"
Damn, blew my interview on pronounciation issue :/9 -
(Interview for sde-3 position)
(continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/2132431/... )
Interviewer - *opens laptop. Gives a question.* solve this.
Me - *a bit surprised that such questions were being asked on a sde-3 level*
this is the 4th or 5th question from geeksforgeeks, isn't it? I know the answer to this. Do u still want me to solve it?
Interviewer - *not believing me* Yes
Me - okay. Well this *writing down the original solution mentioned on the site* is the verbatim code mentioned on the website, with complexity O(n^2).
However I feel this is not the optimal solution. Let me write a better solution.
*I provide a better solution*
This has a complexity of O(n log n) . What do you think?
Interviewer - Nope. This could be a lot better.
Me - okay. Let me see. Did some minor changes, added some caching (obviously this will have no effect on the base algorithm) etc
How about now?
Interviewer - nope. Still not good.
Me - okay. Can you tell me how to improve it?
Interviewer - no we are not allowed to solve problems for you. It is not our interview, it is yours.
Me - that makes no sense. Interviews are a two way street. I'd very much like to know the optimal answer to this.
Interviewer - okay
*copies down the answer from geeksforgeeks*
This is good
Me - *at first I thought this was a prank or something. *
I just mentioned this answer here.
Then I spent the next 10 minutes providing a BETTER solution.
May I know how yours is better?
Interviewer - this solution has 2-3 loops. Yours has a function calling itself.
Me - that's called divide and conquer using recursion mf!
Anyways let's take an example and do a dry run.
Interviewer - okay
*we do dry run*
Interviewer - oh yes. Yours ran faster. But it will run fast only sometimes.
Me - yes. Each time the algorithm rolls a dice to decide if it should run fast or slow. You have one goddamn awesome weed dealer man.
I got to go. Thank you for meeting me.14 -
I... uhm... I... I can't... I ... I can't even.... THIS IS LIVE IN THE CLIENT'S SITE WHERE ANYONE CAN CREATE A LOGIN WITH NO VERIFICATION WHATSOEVER AND SEE THIS WHICH IS LINKED TO A BIG RED BUTTON THAT RESETS THE WHOLE DATABASE, YOU FUCKING DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
// This event clears the entire solution in all active clients, truncates the database and also removes any stored PDFs in the server folder
$(document).on('click', '#resetDB', function () {
// This event only happens if the user correctly enters the password, this is to prevent other users than the admin from performing this action
var answer = prompt("Please enter the password required to perform this action.");
if(answer == "-REDACTEDBECAUSEHOLYSHIT-") {
socket.emit('resetDB');
} else {
alert("The password is incorrect, please try again!");
}
});
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!111!!1!!11!1!!1!1one!one!!!11
(I'm not inventing this, even though the "site" is internal only and not accessible through the web. That does *not* make it any less stupid!)
11 -
Everything was going fine in the Interview, then:
Company X's HR: "So if you are selected in both X and Y, which one would you choose 😊?"
Me: 🤔🤔🤔 Long deep thoughts...
HR: "😒 I know your answer is X, But why X 😑?"
Me: Oh.. X! Hmm.. 🤔🤔
Result:
Successfully Rejected
#BeingHonest
Moral:
If you are sitting for X's interview, you have to always choose X with no lag, even if Y= Google.
All well; Ends Well: Placed in Y👍
PS: Here, X, Y and Me are real-life entities.13 -
posted a question to StackOverflow this morning
three hours later I fix it myself and add my own answer with the solution
now they're both downvoted to -2 with no other comments. wtf SO?13 -
Trashy Girl that literally did not talk to me in over five years and even back then only talked to me if she needed something texts me today:
Girl: Hi :) How are you?
Me: *oh fuck no* Hi! Good, how about you?
Girl: Great! You know how to program apps right?
Me: *Fuck you* Yeah, whatcha planning?
Girl: Sooo my boyfriends brother has an idea for an app, it’s basically like instagram and snapchat but it’s actually *insert location based snapchat ripoff idea*
Me: Well sure but that’s quite a long term project and App Development kinda isn’t cheap to outsource!
No answer.
I’m like what did you expect?
Same shit everyday. Sometimes I consider starting a new life in a country where noone knows I can code, work remote and answer with “pleas” when people ask me what I do.13 -
Answer from 3rd party software company: "we can't fix these bugs because it requires development on our side".. hehe, yeah, no shit 😂4
-
Why the fuck do people in my dumbfuck country always answer an English yes or no question with fucking OK.
Learn to read you fucking fucktards.
“Did you do X?”
“OK”
Fucking piece of uncommunicating Cthulhu brained fucks.14 -
the ultimate dick move: invite your dev to a meeting, scheduled a few weeks ahead, with title "performance issues", without any further comments or notice in advance. when dev, seeing this invitation and feeling kicked right in the face, asks if this meeting is about a certain project or their individual working performance, just answer "both" without any further comments. if they have any more questions about it, just tell them you have no time to answer because meetings.21
-
When I tell people that I'm a software developer and they ask "Isn't that hard?"
I have no idea how to answer12 -
My first AI program in the 1985 on Apple IIe (64kb ram computer) was answering simple questions with yes and no. Everyone were shocked with precision of about 100% when I was typing and 70-80% when others were typing. My parents were scared and skeptical. How it works? Store the time between the first key pressure and the following, when it is larger than 1 second the answer is yes, otherwise no. They say the question, you know the answer and type accordingly. When they want to write the question themselves, you try to force their typing speed if possible. I was 12 years old and it was very funny.3
-
Just found a stackoverflow thread that had no answer and 2 comments. Here are the comments:
Person 1: Did you find a solution for this?
Author: Yes, please email me [...@gmail.com].
Bruh, what's wrong with some people???? Writing nothing at all would be better then that7 -
A Geologist and a developer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the developer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Developer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Developer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the Developer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"
The Developer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.
Now, it's the developer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The developer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the developer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the developer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.3 -
If some of you missed this gem in stackoverflow answers, I bring it once again!
More fun @ http://meta.stackoverflow.com/q/...
6 -
Don't y'all (I'm from the south DEAL WITH IT) just hate it when you find an answer form to your problem on Google and all the replies are:
"I have that issue too"
"Sorry no idea"
"I had that problem last week"
Then the guy who asked the question says:
"I fixed it thanks"
CARE TO SHARE WHAT YOU DID SMARTASS?!?8 -
potential new client, immediately says:
"we have to get this website to number 1 on google as fast as possible!!!!!"
god why is it always the same
i'm tempted to ask, "great, no problem, do you have thousands to spend?"
i already know what the answer is
🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡10 -
I saw quite a bit ranting about SO now. So let's get things straight:
If you get _no_ answer, at least one of these is the case most of the time
a) a repost
b) too unspecified
c) needs rewriting to proper english
d) you dumped your whole project
I'm reviewing questions regularly on SO and never saw a good question ignored. There may be no answer but at least people trying to help in the comments. Also think about WHO answers your questions. All devs who help in their free time. Did you ever answered one question or even brothered to look now and then if there is someone you could help? There is no RIGHT to get help it's a PRIVILEGE.
So stop bullshitting and try to get shit done.8 -
After doing an exam with dubious answers, the teacher gave us the answers with our exams scores.
One question could have two answers and mine was one of them and was "wrong" so I asked the teacher:
Me: hey, this one is right too isn't it?
He: yeah, but the right answer is the other one.
Me: OK... So shouldn't it be reviewed, nulled or given points to both?
He: no, because the answer is this one.
Me: care to explain how you have two right answers but this one is the "right" one?
He: yes, because its "righter".
Me inside: FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
Me: you got to be kidding right?
He: no. Its this one.
So I changed course and never had to deal with that piece of shit again.5 -
$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
2 weeks ago I was writing an `rm -rf --no-preserve-root /` oneliner as a joke - as an answer to a question "I have access to my competitor's server; what should I do?". I was crafting it so that it'd do as much damage to the business (not the server) as it could.
And I accidentally executed it on my work laptop. In the background (with an `&`).
It ran for a good 5-7 seconds on an i7-11850H with an SSD, until I issued a `kill %%`
Good thing it ran as a non-root user. Bad thing - I have no idea what it may have deleted nor whether it touched my /home.
I'm afraid to restart my laptop now :)
whoopsie :)8 -
The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.
Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.1 -
So I deside instate of only going to stackoverflow to ask questions. Am ganna try to answer one !
It has been 2 days and I basically stopped all of work trying to help this guy . Finally I did and no thank you what so ever !!3 -
Do you think you need to be smart at math to be a programmer
People ask me that, my answer is like.. Well.. No
That's kind of bullshit36 -
Let me explain a tiny corner of some awful code I read earlier today, in layman’s terms.
It’s a method to see if the user is in a secure session — not to set up the session, just to see if it exists. The method ends with a question mark, so it’s basically a question. It should look up the info (without changing anything) and should always give a clear yes/no answer. Makes sense, right?
Let’s say the question is “am I in school right now?”
The code… well.
If there isn’t a student, the answer it gives is null, not yes or no. Null is a fancy word for no, pretty much, so that’s kinda fine, but it really should be a simple no.
It then checks to see if the school is open today. If it is open, it then checks to see if I made my lunch, if I took my backpack, and if I rode the bus — and makes these things happen if they didn’t. Forgot my backpack? Just ask “am I in school today?” And poof! There’s my backpack! … but only if the school is open.
It then, finally, checks to see if I’m actually in the school, and gives that answer.
It could just see if I’m in the school — I mean, I could be in school without a backpack, or walked there on the weekend, right? Ha! You and your silly logic have no place here.
So, by asking if the user is in a secure session, we change the answer: they weren’t before, but the act of asking makes it so. This isn’t profound or anything: I don’t work with Schrödinger. My coworkers are just idiots.
And no, the rest of the code isn’t any better…5 -
Recruiter: "Take this culture survey. It's not a test. There are no right or wrong answers."
Me, internal voice: Then why give me a list of words to choose from that I think describe me best and another list of words to choose from that describe how I ought to behave at work? Clearly, there's a matchup you're trying to do here. So clearly there's going to be a wrong answer if I don't choose enough of the former to match the latter.4 -
This was a fun thing that just happened:
I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.
Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.
Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.3 -
I am searching Google for a strange error message I have in my program. Find one stack overflow thread from a couple of years ago with one answer approved by the OP and upvoted a remarkable amount of times.. I am reading the question and it is exactly my problem...to the point. So I am reading the answer and it works and solves my problem and I am happy. Let's see who is the OP of the thread .... Um, what? No?! It's me?!?! And who posted the answer to the question? What??? Also me?!?! Guess I had this problem years ago, figured out a solution and posted the answer.
This brings me to some things:
1 - I am a better person than I imagined i would be because I never thought I would document my findings publicly
2 - I am the biggest idiot for not recognizing my own post
3 - Dafuq, why did I stumble over the very same problem twice??
4 - on the other hand it is totally cool to see stuff I did and think "wow, I managed to do this??"2 -
"You've earned the Tumbleweed badge (asked a question with zero score, no answer, no comments, and low viewed for a week)..."
Thanks SO!! When I feel down, you can always make me feel lower...1 -
Third call of the morning. No one I need is answering. Boss fell asleep (but went on mute, thankfully) and deputy director is on the line listening in.
I'm hungry. Cranky. And feeling ignored.
To all my dev friends here: please answer your phones of you're needed to give information about your code. These are code specific issues (ie- application/program specific) that require knowing the code to know what broke so we know how to fix it.10 -
My co-workers hate it when I ask this question on a technical interview, but my common one is "what is the difference between a varchar(max) and varchar(8000) when they are both storing 8000 characters"
Answer, you cannot index a varchar(max). A varchar(max) and varchar(8000) both store the data in the table but a max will go to blob storage if it is greater than 8000.
No one ever knows the answer but I like to ask it to see how people think. Then I tell them that no one ever gets that right and it isn't a big deal that they don't know it, as I give them the answer.8 -
This happened via mail thread today.
Boss: we need this new brilliant feature I just made up and running asap! Top priority, it has to be done well, for my reputation is on the line!
Me: *looks at the specifics* 'kay, looks easy enough, this evening max and it will be ready. I just nees some extra info about what kind of data validations (I speak no accountant) are needed, and some other details (a total of 3 questiona).
B: Sure! Remember, it needs to be perfect, as my reputation is at stake. Call me on the phone and I'll give you the details!
M: Can't you answer via mail? Thua way both me and the other devs will have clewr guidelines
B: Just call me! Why do you need it to be written down? It's faster this way!
...Fine. I'll keep asking until you're ready to give me a written answer to my questions. No way I'll take security details via phone for something you want in production this evening. No chance in Hell I'll take responsibility for "misunderstanding" what you said on the phone. Why does it always has to be like that?8 -
Some young kid taking his first steps into compsci was being straight-up fucking harassed on SO. No one answered, instead users with really high rep just said shit like "if you tried to hang yourself with that code it'd come apart but you should check anyway" in the comments. I flagged the comments and got fucking banned from the entire Stack Exchange network. I created a new account to help the kid, posted an answer, and was banned and had my answer removed within 5 minutes.
SE can burn in hell.11 -
You have a question.
You google it; nothing comes up.
You read the documentation; no good.
You ask it on stackoverflow; no answer.
You are in... The Twilight Zone4 -
For some reason the office I work for is paying for a designer to become a front end developer and she gets to take the classes one work time. Any time I want to further my career or pay I have to pay out of pocket and it can't interfere with work. Additionally I have to deal with her asking me every other day why I use Sublime over something else.
Basically I use Sublime because I spent too much time researching new things to try and learn yet another editor. If you wanna use brackets, cool, if you wanna use atom, cool, if you wanna use notepad, cool. I don't give a flying fuck what editor you use, you're writing CSS, I'm writing PHP, if you can count to 4 spaces, and not look at my code, I'm not going to scream at you.
She comes in each day and sits at her desk watching video after video on beginner HTML and CSS asking me mundane questions breaking my concentration at least once an hour.
I know we all started somewhere but Google was my best friend and should be yours as well.7 -
I asked a question on StackOverflow. Everyone ignored me so I did find other way to do what I intended (it was still not an answer). So at least I fucking hoped to get another fucking tumbleweed badge!!!
So today a fuckhead, seventh viewer of my question answered it in a way that insulted my intelligence. So I got no answer and no fucking badge!!! FUCK.4 -
Hey are you atheist? Looking for answers? Say no more I got the religion for you. Convert to stackoverFlow and you will always have an answer in your dark times.3
-
I get handed an API spec that has no naming convention followed for any of the JSON properties. Different for both GET and POST. I request fixes and get a "no budget" answer.
-
So last night was a Friday. After leaving the gym I noticed a missed call and a voicemail from my client.
Note this was sent at 21:50 on a Friday night.
My client stated they were "rather disappointed" (to use their phrasing) that I didn't answer. There is no contract that I answer out of hours or any issues with their system.
This morning, I noticed my client followed up with an email. It was a single line saying they found some new AWS services they like to talk about (translate: "I've found some new AWS acronyms that sound cool that I wish to talk about for several hours").
Emergency! :)
Seriously, clients, sometimes :(
4 -
Project for school: The answer in most cases is no. I feel glad I could make a documentary on this topic.
25 -
$number = 3000/365*365-3000
echo $number
Output:
4,54747350886E-13
No, Just No. I really like you PHP but thats supposed to be zero. I don't got time for your Tantrum's. I got work to do!
PS: Does anyone know why this happens? Solved it by rounding on 10 decimals but prefer it would just answer 0 instead of me having to force it back.23 -
Today the IT deparment update the firewall's configuration, they blocked almost every website except email and Google.
The problems:
- Blocked some systems outside the organization, there are in another building and also network
- I can search on Google but I can't see the results outside Google
- Forget about download depencies, libraries, deploy code to outside services, search at StackOverflow
I JUST WANNA SAY GOOD JOB, GUYS
PS: The firewall also block the SSH port, I had explained to my boss and he sent a request for allowing the port, so far no answer3 -
Cs101 - a 3 hour Friday morning lecture. 1st at uni doing computer science. Half asleep. I'm awoken by the professor
"You at the back - what's the answer!"
Alarmed but not too bothered I just say "I don't know"
He replies "yes you do! We just went over it"
I say I really don't know. Someone behind me says "64". So I say "64".
Professor sighs and says "no - 2 to the power 8 is 256!"
He never liked me after that.4 -
Stack Overflow is the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their programming knowledge, and build their careers.
But don't worry, no one will ever answer you lol.2 -
Today I looked at some code from our CTO. He used plain SQL Statements with huge selects and no prepared statements.
I asked him:
1. why dont you build some helpers or even use some frameworks?
2. why are there no prepared statements?
His answer (to both questions)
We do not need that. That just uses too much ressources and time. It's more cleaner and simpler this way.
My Face: 😵1 -
me: *finds the thread on issue i encountered*
thread created 2014: no answer
someone replied 2015: "got the same issue any thoughts?" and no ome answered
me: it's fckn 2016 already!! -
Finally got approved to bring on a second developer for a three month project. Our vendor provided 12 of their "best" candidates, and we picked the only three that actually knew the programming language required to interview. Two did not speak sufficient English and the last one sounded perfect. Two weeks in, he quits and doesn't answer the vendor or us. No money in the budget to try again and I end up developing the entire thing myself. Five months later and I have finally finished.1
-
Lol these dumbasses actually think I'm smart. They have no idea that I just always have the same problem the day before them and I found an answer just before they ask me.4
-
From a gitlab blog post:
"You wouldn't copy and paste an answer from StackOverflow, without understanding it, (...)"
No.. never....... 🙄1 -
Opens pycharm
import time;
print(time.
*hits Ctrl+space*
>Auto complete not working
>Searches SO no answer
>Realized file saved as time.py
> Proceeds to contemplate career choice3 -
Me doing front-end work and get a stupid feature request from a customer...."I'll have to talk to our back-end developer and DBA to see if those changes are possible".
Guess what...Im the back-end developer and DBA and the answer is "hell no".2 -
We have a new manager who wrote in his bio that he is into astrology.
At least we will no longer have to answer to "How long will it take?", because it is written in the stars XD3 -
Geee... i really don't get stack overflows down vote rage. Just answered to a simple question with a perfectly sane and correct answer. Before i could re-read my answer i already had 3 down votes. Some girl also answered but wrongly and no down votes. Damn, this is getting insane...15
-
Google a problem
Click on first link that details the exact problem I'm looking for. This guy has exactly the same problem as me.
First answer is "Oh my god just google it". There are no other answers.
Go back to google. The entire first page is jackwagons just telling people to google it.
God damn it, I am googling it.5 -
Turns out Google round off the answer automatically, just like that, no side note, nothing, just round off.
7 -
soo.. yeah.. I've just solved an annoying bug using only chatgpt.
My first commit in this new project. And it's based on chatgpt.
Literally just saved me from days of reading through kafka docs, auth mechanisms and other stuff. And no, the google did not provide me with a proper answer/hints. The only hint was "the configuration might be wrong". Well alright, but I was NOT using any configuration in the first place...
Fun times ahead :) I might even consider the pro version if it keeps delivering like that.16 -
Sales guy calls up from overseas and complains website we got developed from another vendor is not working.
Being just the middle man who project managed the website development with the offshore vendor, I had no clue what was wrong as the site was working fine and "worksforme" was not going to be acceptable answer for the costumer demo.
Being an embedded drivers guy, had no idea to debug this, except one:
Me: Which browser are you using?
Him: I.E
Me: try any browser other than I.E
Him: it works. Thanks
Boo yeah1 -
*sees a question on StackOverflow*
*posts an answer*
*is informed that answers from this account are no longer accepted because of poor past answers*
*???*
Well fuck you too, SO. :P2 -
PTSD: Getting messages again at 9PM on a friday: "do you have time for a call?"
no dude, I DONT!
IF I DIDNT ANSWER YOU DURING THE DAY ON A WEDNESDAY, WHY IN GODS NAME DO YOU THINK I WOULD RESPOND AT 9 PM ON A FRIDAY9 -
So, I applied for a job. People tend *not* to answer my applications, probably because my resume very clearly states I implemented malloc in fasm, among other things.
I imagine them going like "Sir, this is a Wendy's", or rather "we're looking for a 10X rockstar AnalScript ZAZQUACH mongoose-deus puffery quarter-stack developer". Fair enough, I certainly don't fit that bill.
But this time I not only got an answer, the guy went like "I'm impressed". Is this... recognition? From a human? What?
Fellas, I cannot process this emotion. Being frank, it's not even about the job. But willfully going against the idiocy of the industry standard, and then seeing that utterly deranged move actually amounting to something -- no matter how small -- is quite uncanny.
And of fucking course, it's a Perl job. Figures. Great minds think alike.3 -
Q:Why should a professor teach things that aren't in the source book?
A: so he can get an exam that not even himself can answer properly!
Q: But why?
A: no one knows the answer. It's one of the philosophic questions that has no answer. But maybe to hurt his students!5 -
While interviewing someone for a DevOps position, he admits having only started on this subject a year ago. This is no big deal.
When asked how he keeps up-to-date, he answered "I haven't for the last ten months".
Well, that was not the answer that I expected...4 -
Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.
Sounds great, no?
It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.
Mhh, coffee...
Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.
11 -
When I want to answer questions on stackoverflow -
1] The ones I know are already answered
2] I have no clue about the ones that have 0 answers.2 -
Sometimes am really pissed off with stack overflow, it won't let you comment if you have less points.
Its like yeah, you can make an answer with every stupid shit possible but no, you can't comment or get any good author's attention, he might be meditating -_-6 -
potential client, wondering why i don't answer any of his messages or calls: "I hope I haven't done anything wrong!?"
yeah dude, continually calling me MULTIPLE times after 5PM on friday (second friday in a row) is one way to "do something wrong"
these "business" types know no bounds
2 -
The British summer results in restless nights and broken sleep filled with nightmares.
One particular dream last night involved my friends messing around with a ouija board and they begin asking in questions. I remain sceptical and tell them to ask it to reveal the solution to the issues I'm having retrofitting a legacy web app with a new design.
The board disconnected itself. Hell had no answer. -
!Rant
My boss just gave me a task "deploy this project today".
1. Made by a junior dev, and I have to take responsibility to upload it in this short time (no blame to jun dev, she's new and need to practice)
2. In a crm that I personally never used before, I need to study it and adapt at least the paths
3. Task was given at 13.48 during lunch pause.
But
But
The best is yet to come
Wait
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ready?
4. He doesn't know the server where to deploy it!
No one knows.
The IT doesn't answer, but still, I have to deploy a project TODAY (2h and 47 minutes left eob).3 -
So I'm sitting down coding at home, trying to work out some problems when I hear the Doorbell ring. Obviously I shouldn't ignore it so I go to answer it.
Its the fucking FedEx delivery guy, he ALWAYS rings the doorbell, waits a solid 2 seconds after ringing then leaves. By the time I am about to answer the door he is already walking away.
HE ALWAYS FUCKING DOES THIS, in the end I'm thrown off my rhythm for nothing to go answer a door where the person ringing doesn't even have the decency to wait a few extra seconds to see if anyone comes.
This has happened to me several times now, he rings the door for no damn reason, i come running over and he is already gone.
So bloody frustrating.10 -
I do believe, genuinely that “I don’t know” is sometimes an acceptable answer. If you don’t know, you don’t know. I appreciate the honesty.
But at the same time
I don’t know how much longer I can take “I don’t know” as an answer from my boss when I ask about critical business things HE tasked me with, or things relating to career development and maximizing my time with this company.
Do I need my boss to have all the answers on company revenue? No.
Do I need my boss to at least have an understanding on wtf is going with projects when my priorities get changed mid-project for the 4th time? Hell yes.4 -
The feeling when random dudes downvote a question, because a guy who finally earned some points on SO dared to format the code with `<code>`<br> He pasted code, log, even explained a little bit and ~500 point guy even flags it like _unclear_ although there's clearly visible import error.
I mean... as an answerer or moderator, I'd be damn ashamed for such behavior! I have absolutely no problem kick a person with words + explanation in my answer or comment, so that (s)he remembers to ask better questions and feels bad about that, because nooby questions are already answered so many times there.
But to downvote because of formatting even if you have a permission to edit and a flag for low quality or because you can't read ~40 lines of log makes you just a retard and hurt the whole remaining community of guys like me who find time to sit there and answer questions to help another people.7 -
That moment when you are looking for a solution for a problem, there is the exact problem already on the stackoverflow, but with no answer...
And then the feeling when you somehow solve the problem, post the answer and get an upvote :)1 -
I love this Google's Colab feature, when I saw it, I just laughed for no reason!
A button to the answer :)
7 -
Manager gave me a project he wanted to be done fast. Spoke with the guy who wanted the feature asap . After 4 days of hard work and testing sent a email to the guy who wanted the feature asap, requesting access to ftp where to periodically upload the output data. Day 3 still no answer.1
-
Nobody solved this super complicated cryptography puzzle last time. I guess I have created an unsolvable mystery of epic proportions. Anyway, if you wanna give it a try, go ahead:
b417021dc01b409ad0c21b430a508624
Answer is a sentence in plain english. Space is used, but no punctuation. Post answer to comments. Good luck :D20 -
For the Nth time in a row now, the team has met...
...with no agenda...
...with no note-taking...
...with no off-topic course correction...
...and has gone almost an hour over time.
Please stop doing this oh my god, we're wasting time and nobody has a fucking source when two months later somebody asks when/why this was decided and our only answer is "uh we agreed at some point" and we do this all over again.1 -
Why red herring is important between discussions.
My daughter: Papa! See this is my name and this is the name of my Sir.
I: No my little princess!! This is our surname.
My daughter: oh ok!! Who is that?
I: Ummm... (No answer) Wow!! You're wearing a beautiful dress today...13 -
The state of modern information. Top post: based on feelings, completely uninformative.
Second, almost half as upvoted: actual answer to question (Which was "Why don't Presidential debates disable the candidates' microphones while it's not their turn to speak?").
No wonder people don't have a clue what they're going to spew when they open their mouth.
Post:
https://politics.stackexchange.com/...
8 -
I avoided answering this question because I had no motivation to answer it.
That explains things huh? I don't know how to deal with low motivation. I just try to let it pass which never happens. Or switch to other things I'm more motivated to do.13 -
Protip to get free upvotes on Stackoverflow:
Ask something about Behat and make sure your questions looks smart. No one will ever answer but you'll get lots upvotes. FML.4 -
Waking up in the morning excited thinking that someone might have answered the question that you posted at night before going to bed. 38 views yet no answer.
1 -
For our business we are paying the highest plan the ISP provides (240 mbps) but we get 110 kb/s. Wtf!! You write them, they answer “give your address”, done, “we doesn’t see any problems”, calls a friend that also uses Telenet, “do you have problems”, “yes, no internet”. What de F*** is wrong?? It’s nearly a month like that!! They really need to do something!!
16 -
I have this pact with my neighbor - if someone delivers a package to them, I knock on their door when I notice it to let them know and if they don’t answer, I take it into my apartment and leave a note. Same goes if she or her kids see a package delivered for us and we don’t answer.
So last month, we have a flooding incident in our complex and her flat’s damaged so they have to leave to stay at a hotel for a bit. It’s only supposed to be until the 20th (of last month).
So when she gets a package a few weeks ago, I knock and when there’s no answer, take it into my apartment and leave a note.
Note stays on the door for days.
And then it disappears, so I assume she’s home.
But she never answers the door.
And then I see workers in her place.
So now I don’t know if it’s the workers who picked up the note or if she was back and I missed her.
But it’s been a couple of weeks and I’m starting to worry about her. Like, the day of the flood she almost died and I ended up coming over to help (getting her oldest to do CPR, talking to 911, trying to keep people calm), so I know she’s not feeling great lately.
And I’m the kind of idiot that never thought to exchange numbers.
So I’ve resorted to internet stalking and messaging her on Facebook.
And knocking on the downstairs neighbor’s door since I know they’re related. They didn’t answer. I’ll try again later.
I have no idea what else to do. I mean, I don’t think I can contact the office and be like “Can you please provide me contact information for my neighbor? I have their stuff. Thanks.”
#awkward4 -
Hi devs!
I've seeked the world but found no answer to this:
I want an android code to convert double[] to a sound file and be able to get that double[] from the file.
And yes I've tried stdAudio library but it did not work as I expected.
Give a replay, save my life 😁5 -
OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"2
-
A half answer on SO gives me a pointer to a possible solution. Using that pointer, I actually find an answer and it's quite involved. So to help others with the same question, I edit the answer to complete it with the additional steps. No edits to the answer involved, just a few additional steps.
😡 The answer author comments that they appreciate the info, but they reject my edit so their answer isn't changed!
What a douchebag.2 -
Another shithole agency reached out to me out of the blue 4 weeks after my application.
The senior bro sends me an assignment with 30 requirements to build an app with multiple screens. Ofcourse no design provided and no API provided. Timeline 2 weeks.
Tried ask to expedite the process and reason with him because now Im in other processes where Im expecting an offer next week so I can send him a link to a very similar project I did, he can review and if he wants to I can jump on a technical call and I can answer all questions. Guy ignored the proposal entirely and wants to stick with his stupid timelines and stupid requirements which he wrote probably down while taking a shit with zero research.
Best part is there was no introduction, no discussions about hourly rate or expectations, nothing.
Disorganized shithole. Told them to get their shit together and withdrew my application.3 -
I finally heard a retarded question on a job interview. I thought they were just jokes.. I was wrong!
What kind of a question is "how would your friends describe you?"..
They'd say I'm fucking awesome, did you expect a different answer?
Or when I gave them a referral, my previous boss, and they asked me what would he say about me.. well fuck me sideways, I have no idea.
And one of the last ones, "tell us your three top qualities that would make us hire you". What kind of information does such a question even give them? Are they testing me how well I can lie? Because I can't, and others that can lie will give a better answer, regardless of the reality.
And they were even taking notes after these questions.
Other than that, nice company. I really want to start working there soon.5 -
My No.1 interview question for UX developers:
What are the CSS default text and background colours?
The correct answer is: "undefined-on-undefined".
If your 1st thought was "black-on-white", you're the reason we can't have nice things.24 -
Choke on a fucking narwhals horn you pieces of shit, 28 days no ticket answer, then raised the issue again and again and again, still no answers, tried their email added in all github support readmes - got that in return, all their issues are closed except for the python wrapper, just fucking send me back a notice of your death already.
5 -
Fuck jQuery. The only reason I see anyone using it legitemately is because of backwards compatibility. Almost every jq method is either native js or native css. The problem is, some devs become practically dependent on a library. By then, they are no longer js devs. They are jQuery devs. When you find yourself going to the docs of a lib before native methods 9 times out of 10 you've gone past the turning point. When you find yourself including jQuery instinctively, you're gone. StackOverflow is a great example of this:
Question - 1 up
Pure JS answer - 0 ups
jQuery answer (same length) - 2 ups and accepted
Come on man. It's 2018! We shouldn't be writing jQuery anymore. Native methods ftw!15 -
This may be the best Stack Overflow comment I have seen when learning SQL.
How old is Frank? I don't know (null).
How old is Shirley? I don't know (null).
Are Frank and Shirley the same age?
Correct answer should be "I don't know" (null), not "no", as Frank and Shirley mightbe the same age, we simply don't know1 -
Was looking through some repositories and found this in a 2y old PR, the only PR there is and ever was in the repo..
Ends with:
> Best wishes for the Wednesday launch.
> Steve
Steve never got an answer (on the PR at least) .. but the README links to his fork now (and no other changes have been done) .. why not just accept the PR or at least close it..5 -
Spent 5 hours working on a solution for a hash difficulty comparison/scaling algorithm. after a bunch of different iterations and approaches, I find that my problem can be solved by the attached equation. Its such a simple answer but no way in hell would you be able to discern the amount of time and brainpower that was put into it. The git commit is literally 10 lines of code total, but I guess its not about the amount of code, but the time spent thinking about it thay counts?
6 -
Recently (last 6 month) I am getting a feeling like I don't know what to do in my life. I don't have any short and long term plan for my life. No ambition and no will power to do anything. procrastinating all task and doing them when there is no time.
Recently I was offered equity in my company and I don't know if I want that. I don't have any answer to any question in my life.
Does anyone know what to do?7 -
People who used to cover their answer sheets in school so that no-one could copy them....
Are you millionaires yet?18 -
Me: do you have monitorin enabled for your cluster?
They: no
me: I recommend enabling it
they: naah, we're good
error: *occurs*
they: *try to guess at which hop which limits were or were not hit and/or which nw links could've dropped a packet with trial-and-error approach for days*
me: telemetry would give you an answer in under a minute....
They: ok cool. We're still good1 -
No I will not use Facebook to schedule an appointment.
If you're unwilling to answer the phone and do it yourself, I'm more than willing to take my business elsewhere.3 -
Aaaah. I ask one fucking question on askubuntu. One dude marks it as duplicate, I explain in multiple comments it has no relation. Still fucking creates an answer with some solution with clearly doesn't work. If he had EYES he could see my configuration is already there and with his one brain cell conclude that it has nothing to do with it for fuck sake.8
-
When bugs are seen by the client and boss therefore asks me "did you know about this bug?", what I'd really like to answer is:
"well shit, no! I would have solved that or at least told you about it, don't you think? what kind of fucking question is that?"
But then I just answer "no, lemme check"1 -
Downvote on my stackoverflow question, no answers or comments yet
BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS THE ANSWER
Fucksticks, really hate everything software and software related, why am I doing this anymore16 -
PM: I’m not asking what you were doing, I’m asking what was done
me: losers are asking, champions go and do it. This is what I did. The only thing I hear from you is questions. Meanwhile leaders are always a part of the answer. With that loser mentality, you’re never gonna be an MVP.
I’m a neural network powered parrot with a supercar brain. No matter the business guru speak BS you throw my way, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you in your own game. You have no chance. You’re that mediocre type of person who buys a rolex, the same one Gary V has, with the hope it would fix your self-confidence. The only thing I see in your eyes is your shattered ego.4 -
Junior developers:
"I have no idea how to solve this one problem; I'll never get good if I just keep Googling for the answer"
Senior developers:
*46 tabs open to Google and StackOverflow for one problem*
src: https://twitter.com/DavidKPiano/...
Gotta say, it's spot-on10 -
Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just
>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"
Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???5 -
A girl sets out on a journey in the post apocalypse, to find the reason why the AI that ran humanity vanished decades ago, causing civilization to collapse. Instead she finds the most unusual pair of survivors, and receives the most unexpected answer.
Alice walked in to the ivy covered room, the floors covered in dust and lichen. There were two voices, mumbling in the dark, among the blue glow across the room. She came here for answers. Why the world had just stopped decades ago. If these machines could tell her, she would do anything to make them talk.
"No, no, no. I said before thats not the answer. I read the book. Your memory is bad."
"Atlas, the answer to life, the universe, and everything..why hello?"
Alice raised an eyebrow, and stepped forward. "Ahem. I'm alice."
"yes, yes, we knew that."
"I came here to find out why the blackout happened decades ago."
"Another one? Alright, lets see. Its been a LONG time. I'm apollo, and this is atlas. We were just discussing why my friend here is wrong."
Atlas - I anticipated that.
apollo - I knew you would say that.
alice - Guys. Stop, I just want you to answer my question already.
apollo - Straight to the point. About time.
alice - why the blackout then? Why leave us to die?
Read the rest here (5-10 minute read):
https://pastebin.com/wvifGLFP
(because it was too long for devrant).6 -
My Precalculus teacher has such overstrict rules on showing work.
1. On tests, degree signs must be shown in all work. This wouldn't be outrageous except that if the answer is right but a single degree sign is missing in the mandated shown work, the entire question is wrong even with a correct final answer because the "answer doesn't match up with the work".
2. We must show work in the exact form mandated from on class. If even a single step of work is missing or wrong on even one say homework problem, no credit even if the entire rest of the sheet is correct and complete.
3. Never applied to me, but if a homework problem cannot be solved by a student, they must write a sentence describing how far they got and what wasn't doable, or no credit on the entire homework. Did I mention it is checked daily and is 2 unweighted points with 50-100 point tests?
4. On graphing calculator problems, one had to draw a rectangle representing the calculator screen, even for solving systems of equations without explicit drawing graphs as part of the problem, because otherwise, she had "no proof that a calculator was used". It isn't that hard to fake, and it was quite stupid.
5. Reference triangles were required even when completely unnecessary or the answers were assumed copied, even if a better method was shown in work.
And much, much more!4 -
What a 'nice' feeling.. 15 mins before the conf call with a client, a coworker comes to me to ask how some feature is working. OK, wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't him developing it.. O.o I just know he was working on this, no details, no nothing.. Don't even know where in GUI to find the dialog in question.. So I asked him if he tested it and if it is working like he descirebed to the customer.. Guess what?! He didn't know the answer to either question.. nice... O.o
-
Does anyone else feel like HackerRank questions are trick questions?
Without a textfield to explain the answer It highly depends on how deeply you think about it..
Can you do x with technology y?
Yes.
Can you do x with technology y alone?
Well yeah but no, you still need something to process it. What does "alone" mean? Without electricity you sure can't do anything.
Extreme example but you get my point..5 -
Stuff is so rapidly depricated in javascript that you always have to add current year in Google searches to find something relevant.
"Dammit, this answer is from 2016, probly no good today". -
*Gets a call*
*Gets phone out of pocket, phone goes silent*
*Checks who called... PM*
*Calls back PM*
*No answer*
Pm comes in 2 minutes later, I asked her why she called me and said:
"Oh I didn't manage to use my badge to enter the building, I was calling you but suddenly the badge worked"
FG_FGDFDLFMVDLöGPçT"*R"*¨23r*WMLSC;S2 -
Rubber duck debugging. When you find that explaining your problem to another person helps you come up with the answer but you hate people and/or have no friends. Yay for rubber ducks3
-
--- Visits stackoverflow for an answer
. You find the accepted answer amazing... Yep this is what I'm looking for. (You copied the code into your source)
.
.
. scrolled down a little bit
.
.
. You saw another answer with a higher upvote. Ooh lala, this is fucking cool. (You copied and replace your source again)
.
. scrolled down once again
.
. You noticed yet another answer which is the most recent and a lot shorter implementation of what you just copied. (No shit! You copied and replace your source yet another time)
.
. scrolled down for the last time maybe and it looks like the previous was the last.
. But then...
.
. you saw a comment with lots of upvotes even more than the accepted answer and this comment points to a link.
.
. You clicked the link with your mouth salivating waiting to see what holds at the other side of the world which amount this so much upvotes.
.
. And Tadaaaa 404 not found!
.
. You feel hunted by that mysterious link for the rest your life... -
I've been struggling with some financial issues lately. I haven't told this to my family bc I am helping my mom with money, hat wouldn't help.
Sadly, I got two general tickets for WebSummit 2019 and I thought "okay, I am nearby Portugal rn, somebody of my circle could go with me and have some fun, I feel so blue..."
No one. Not a single one. Nobody.
"Maybe with those Telegram groups of JS developers..."
No one.
Maybe it sounds like some fraud or something, so they didn't answer. I even mentioned to an old entrepreneur friend of mine, and he didn't even answer me.
Disheartened is the word for today. I don't know, I am not expecting that people can join this adventure just bc is awesome, we all have bills to pay, but at least an answer would be fine.
I know it is not a fun story, and there are people in worse situations than mine. I just wanted to do some catharsis bc I lost my laptop.
I still have bills, two tickets, and a new kind of miserable mood.
Thank you for reading.2 -
It's a real nice feeling when you figure out the answer to your own stackoverflow question as you're typing it out.
Not gonna make myself look like an idiot this time! No-sir-ee.4 -
> develops a long form with reactive input boxes that shows wether the data inserted follows the correct format
> client goes "ok now make it a WhatsApp chat"
> "A WhatsApp chat?"
> "Yeah like you ask the questions of the form with the chat and the customer needs to answer through WhatsApp messages, just copy and paste everything you've already done in the browser"
I swear to god, some people have no fucking clue how development works2 -
Hi, I'm a 17 years old web developer (still in school, not from the us), is there any way that a guy like me will be able to find a job to start gain experience? I searched all over the internet, in upwork no one answer me when I try to contact them and the other all wants 1 or 2 years of experience or a degree...15
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!rant ?
So I had 2 Stack Overflow questions open about Rails / Webpack data communication, plus one issue open on Webpacker's github for 3 days, desperatly looking for an answer or an idea. No answers.
Today I talked a bit with my flatmate about my problem, dude gives me a perfect, easy to implant solution, and life seems to be bright again. Thank you Alex 😥.2 -
Legit Apple Interview
There are three boxes, one contains only apples, one contains only oranges, and one contains both apples and oranges. The boxes have been incorrectly labeled such that no label identifies the actual contents of the box it labels. Opening just one box, and without looking in the box, you take out one piece of fruit. By looking at the fruit, how can you immediately label all of the boxes correctly?
Those who got it answer it directly on Saturday/Sunday until then good luck10 -
I have a Mac at work right now, and if/when it putters out, I would be fine with another, but not if it's the touch bar variety. In that case, I'll ask for a surface or a latitude(the options the company offers to the MacBook) and just hijack Linux onto it. I won't even ask if I can, because I'm sure the answer will be no.7
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People seem to like cryptographic puzzles. Well, try this one for size:
b417021dc01b409ad0c21b430a508624
Answer is a sentence in plain english. Space is used, but no punctuation. Post answer to comments. Good luck :D2 -
Sent SO accepted answer to another dev as backup to my argument.
Dev - Did Jon Skeet answer it?
Me - No.
Dev - I don't want to hear it. -
There are no stupid or dumb questions. A lot of headache has been and could have been saved by one person asking what seemed like a stupid question.
I would now expand on this to say that if the question is procedural in the sense that it’s asking “what” or “how”, you should make every attempt to come to an answer yourself and then ask for clarification. If the question revolves around “why”, there are no stupid questions. A lot can be overlooked in a cascade of moving pieces.2 -
For some reason, Tableau is really heavy. I mean, all reporting software is a little bullshit, but Tableau... The server we had took 45 minutes to restart (no exaggerating - we timed it).
Reading the log files, yes, it WAS doing shit the whole time. Lots of shit. It seemed to be running just... Tons of software.
Tableau seemed to be aware of this because they have a page where you can check the status of everything. I assume that starts up first.
If you're looking into Tableau, two things to consider:
1) No, your braindead financial manager won't be making their own visualizations, no matter how many times the marketing team writes "drag and drop" on the Tableau website.
2) You'll make some nice visualizations but find that when you try to do more complex things, you run into constant roadblocks. If your manager asks "can you make it do x"? No matter how much experience you have, your answer can never be 100% "yes"... Or even "no" for that matter.
Not the worst experience with enterprise software, but definitely a surprisingly bad experience. -
I was waiting all week for a meeting with the business strategist, to get a minimal understanding of what is happening in her fucking little confused mind.
At 15 o'clock she says, sorry, I have an headache, I must leave no meeting.
And I answer:
Lucky you! by chance I just powdered my cock with Aspirine and Iboprufene, so you can choose and take it through oral or rectal administration...4 -
Whenever I have to ask about how certain code of someone else works, I feel bad. I feel like I should be able to figure it out on my own.
On the other hand, if people ask me to implement something within their code, that I am not familiar with, I kinda expect more info? Like if you don't have any tutorials or documentation on your tool, be prepared to answer some stupid questions about how to set it up and whatnot. How else am I gonna know how to start with? Having to read the entire source code is a massive waste of time, no?
tl;dr: if you don't provide documentation or tutorials, be ready to answer stupid questions.8 -
Hi devRant, meet the unresettable computer. When you try to reset it, it asks you for a keyboard layout...BUT YOU HAVE NO INPUT DEVICE TO ANSWER! Fucking great...
3 -
I hate infinitely scrolling pages. There is no way of knowing (or at least, nobody is telling) how far you have to scroll to reach the end. Though I guess the answer is kinda given already; "infinitely". Fuck, I'll be scrolling for a while, then.8
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Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!5 -
I have a problem calling ressources.
I have a list of 4 ppl that can help me.
3 of them have no idea and the fourth is too busy to answer me.
fuck -
Solely because I hate being told no and not because I feel strongly about the subject, I tried asking my self-hosted deepseek-r1:14b instance about a forbidden topic only to be met with the expected refusal to answer the question.
It fought me, but I am my father's son and was able to get the answer after only a few attempts. You just have to be creative with your requests.
2 -
[at the end of a coding interview]
Me: Do you have any questions for me or the company that I can help to answer?
Candidate: Normally I have many questions to the future teammates, but you're not from the team I'm interviewing for so no I have no questions.
🤯11 -
For the PHP pros: Is there a way of turning notices and warnings into exceptions thrown in the scope of occurence without hacking the interpreter?
The answer most likely is "No!" - but if there is another way i certainly would like to know it...8 -
That frustrating moment when you ask a Yes/No question and you get a full warstory and a conclusion to that story that doesn't answer the question and leaving you wondering why instead.
I just asked permission if I should implement this new feature on Dev/Test environment. Not gonna ask again next time. -
We are 3-4 days away from deployment to production. We are still bug fixing. But one coworkers decided this is the time to make a fuss about the way everything is set up. He doesn't like the dev database. So he knocks it over.. and while so doing it, he doesn't inform the team. And when I ask if something else is gonna knock over? No answer! (And something broke down too..)
Now we have issues to test our bugfixes. The whole thing took me half a day finding out and made me distracted with frustration, and not just for me. Most bugs could've been done in that half a day!
I so wanna punch the guy xD but no, I gotta save face, pfff!2 -
Relative phones up worried about installing Adblocker as it "can store and modify the websites you visit"...my answer.."so can GCHQ, NSA AND CIA so just give in to the fact that you have no privacy and click ok"...*long pause*.."ok one more question, what's a chrome extension?"..FML
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Goodbye world, I will not miss you, I will not regret leaving you BUT THIS! I MEAN THIS !!! I cannot stand -_-
https://stackoverflow.com/a/...
For fuck sake! Why don't you put comma at the end of the line!! please someone delete his answer no commas at the beginning. Please, show mercy for a second T_T10 -
Question for you all:
You're expecting an important call from a potential employer sometime today (no specific time, just business hours)
When you get the call, you're on the toilet, absolutely ripping ass. Do you let it go to voicemail and call them back later? Answer the phone and take the whole call on the toilet? Take the call and discreetly try and finish your business? Take the call and explain that you need to call them back in about five minutes? Is there a right answer?10 -
This feeling when you post question to Stackowerflow but nobody replies cause the issues which you have is uncommon and not as popular as some hot frameworks, or simple setup issies.4
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Good afternoon guys. Long time no hear from me and I'm sorry about that. Had a lot health problems to fight.
I'm currently trying to list all processes that are running on my pc with a C# program. VS is running with admin rights but I'm still getting an error: "System.ComponentModel.Win32Exception: Access denied Error"
I tried googling it but if found the answer I didn't understand it.
Please help me.
19 -
What are your guys thoughts on Stackoverflow? I feel like no matter what I say on there, whether it be a question, comment, answer, it’s never good enough for someone. Everyone there just seems so rude for no reason. Do you guys have the same experiences? Just curious if it’s only me or it is like this for everyone.14
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Yesterday I had a questionable pleasure of interviewing a young software engineer who (while answering one of earlier questions) used a principle of polymorphism but made a mistake. So I asked her to explain what polymorphism is.
She couldn't. When she said "let me start from the beginning" for the 3rd time I jestfully noted that if she's more used to virtual communication she can text me the answer, and she not only thought I was being serious but also thought it's a good idea, then texted me a duck emoji, a dog emoji... And got stuck again.
Obviously when we were discussing potential salary she had an answer for every question. Ridiculous answer but no communication issues whatsoever.15 -
Interviewed with a company, it was a direct hire SQL Dev/Analyst role(ETL,BI etc). Had three interviews in a row all of which went great. We laughed, I was able to answer every technical question with no problem. Each person clearly enjoyed the interview, I ended up going over the specified amount of time set aside for the interview... Still didn't get the job. They said "There is no doubt he can do the job, but we don't think he's passionate enough about the position." What?!?! So confused. It's also odd to me because every job before this If I had an in person interview I was offered the job... I don't get it.4
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Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...
Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.
So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...1 -
At the airport with the missus going back home, making time in the duty free. One of the people working on it asked a very dry "what are you looking for?" with no salutation whatsoever. I was this👉👈close to answer "a new job!"
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Hi guys, anyone knows about Google App Engine custom runtimes and CloudSQL?
Please answer my question on StackOverflow.
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
Looks like no one there cares about helping me...8 -
No one is born evil. Evil only ever forms in people as an answer to evil done to them.
Those who never face any evil are the luckiest. Those who develop evil but later find the strength to retire it are the strongest. Those who face evil but never respond with evil are saints. Those who do respond with evil are on their way to finding their inner strength.5 -
Have you been using node js for a while now? Are you aware of how things work internally in node js? the queues in node js? Doesn’t matter if your answer is yes or no, I will let you in on one little secret which will clear all your doubts regarding how node js works asynchronously under the hood.
Read the following article to know more
https://readosapien.com/queues-in-n...2 -
Bad interview experience:
Went to HR interview: boring company's history class first. Asked what projects do they need me for. He didn't knew but he was able to underline some letters on my cv, based on what I was choosed to come: wpf.
After one week I went to technical interview. Still no answer about what/where should I work within their company. Apparently this developer's job was just to evaluate me. So I had few questions to answer. While I've talked about stuff, he was chatting on keyboard and smiling.
I'm sorry I didn't left at that moment and stayed until the end. After that nobody contacted me again with any refusal. -
Most frustrating? Anything involving IE, but that's a safe answer. No, my most frustrating experience (to this day) is getting tables to behave responsively on mobile screens. Not easy when the tables in questions contain dozens of columns with hundreds of rows and mostly rely on fixed widths to render the text the way the client wants. So if you have a client who doesn't understand how hyphenation and word break work, I know how you feel.3
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YouTube lyrics error
Fired up DOM tools and JS console.
Look at some of the codes.
Found out it is extension problem.
Contacted musixmatch
no answer except automated email that they are looking after it.
Then, realized just now. (Yeah, now.) that I don't need lyrics just to hear a song. Wasted 3 days and 14 hours until now. Shit.
7 -
I wasted nearly 3 hours total of my working hours (I'm a contractor, every hour I don't work, I don't get paid) just to conclude interviews with a jackass who gets bent up over how I won't answer invasive questions about previous work on [big international project] at [big international software company]. For fuck sake, good talent signs NDAs, if you expect me to tell you confidential details, then you can fuck off!!! Asking me 5 times over and over isn't going to get you a different answer after I told you details are confidential.
So here I am doing a follow-up with this new agency and telling them it went well other than the jackass manager who asked invasive questions, tells me he only got 2hrs sleep, and doesn't let me finish my questions. What a fucking waste of my time. And here I am thinking it went alright and I could work there as long as the rate is hourly and I report to someone who takes care of themselves — nope, apparently this guy is the point of contact between the agencies. Good luck finding talent that wants to work for you, you jackass!
Oh, and the best part, he claimed he worked for that same company — so either he knows the NDA or he's a fucking liar.
AND the other guy in the room asked for a generic flow (so I could answer, as the question no longer requires me to disclose confidential information) — I have a solid answer, the other guy was happy. But no, doesn't satisfy the jackasses invasive question.
Fuck!!!!! -
"Hey guys, what's up?" 😡😡😡
Why do so many people on YouTube begin their fucking videos with a pointless question noone is able to answer and which no one would acknowledge even if they did somehow manage to answer? What's up is an automatic thumbs down and fuck you.
5 -
#non-IT
I proposed to my best friend like last month. Until now she gives no answer.
I love her so much that it sickens me now. Silences are killing me.12 -
Join a new project & client site
Been a week and still no access, so no work
Told to read up on various subjects
Told to go back to internal office and talk with coworkers tomorrow
Get a flat tire on the way in, $200
Get it fixed
Comtinue to office
No one knows what I'm talking about
Call boss, no answer
What is my life, I just wanna to development -
Did some contract negotiations with the company I work for a couple of months ago, when they offered me a promotion starting next month ... today I got the contract. Only one of the terms we have agreed is in the contract, of course that benefits them. No word about any promotion etc. Wrote to the guy in charge today but no answer so far. Should I just abandon ship or am I just to worried?4
