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Search - "get fired"
-
My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.
Bad UI = No Fuck.23 -
Client: our app has low ratings, we fired our previous dev company and hiring you instead.
Us: all right, seems like to make a better app we need 5 months.
C: you're kidding, do it in 6 weeks.
U: Ok, but we'll have to drop some features.
C: get rid of X and Y, nobody uses them.
U: deal!
... 6 weeks later...
U: here's the new app: better graphics, easier to use, more stable and more future-proof.
C: Cool! Let's deploy!
... 2 days later...
C: we just released but the users are really pissed off!
U: what do they say?
C: "what the fuck happened with X and Y? they were the only thing we're using! what a load of crap! 1 star"
Dear client, next time get to know better your users...8 -
Me: "I'll never be able to do this"
Me: "I suck at coding"
Me: "What am I even looking at"
Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"
Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"
Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."
Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."13 -
I was explaining to my mom how my company is in need of developers and how we'll need more of them in the future - to which she replied:
"oh... what are you going to do? You can't live without a job!"
- erm? What?
"Well - you're not smart like those guys. You'll probably get fired now."
- Wtf mom!? I'm a friggin lead dev and i've been a developer for like 10 years now!? 😳
*silence* "is that what you've been doing? I thought you just kept clicking on stuff"11 -
My manager started a company and I was his first employee, he literally started it because he wanted to make use of my talent.
So one day I finished my project on Friday and took in advance Monday and Tuesday off. Went back Wednesday to find my manager angry like "you didn't finish your project, you costed us money with our client company (a big ass famous one) I am putting you on probation and you could probably get fired if you don't get yourself together" and he said that my colleague had to do my whole work that I supposedly didn't do.
So I went to the code and checked. And I found that what my colleague did was re write my code in a different structure and pretended like he did everything and did do anything.
Got passed off so I wrote an email to my manager with the commits and links to them and their builds and made sure it's well explained, and titled the email "resignation letter" with me expressing at the end how angry I am and informing about my resignation.
Later on he replied saying it was a misunderstanding and there was lack of communication and he could give me I raise.
I insisted.
One week later I got hired by the client company and suddenly I was sitting on the other side of the meeting table. And it felt so damn good.4 -
I’ve had a good amount of incompetent co-workers in the past. One that stands out was this junior developer who worked at one of my previous companies. He was incompetent, but that wasn’t even his worst attribute. He was incompetent, and worse, he had a piss-poor attitude.
Myself and a few other devs at the company tried to help him, but he would literally get mad when people tried to help him. Sometimes he would even call one of us over and start getting snarky with us as we tried to help him. He was a piece of shit and a shitty developer. I don’t think he built one complete feature or fixed one bug in the year he was at the company before he was eventually fired.
Oh, and aside from his incompetence and shitty attitude, he had no sense of humor. It was so annoying. My friend and I made a little song based on his name and a group that sounded like his name, and he got pissed. We always used to sing it anyway after that and it always riled him up. I feel a bit bad about that now but he pretty much got mad at everything so whatever.
One of my favorite memories of him is when he was leaving one day, my good friend/co-worker and I were having a Nerf gun battle. The junior was leaving the office, and my friend tried to get him involved in the battle and shot him, but accidentally hit him in the back of the head. He said nothing, didn’t turn around, and just walked out lol. He was not happy about it.10 -
The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
Case 0:
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Case 1:
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Does nothing.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Case 2:
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Case 3:
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Case 4:
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Case 5:
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Case 6:
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.24 -
The project where I realized I wanted to go from chemist to pro dev.
I built a flow-chemistry spectrometer with monitoring backend in Haskell.
Spectroscopy is where you add a reagent to a glass tube, it changes color, and by measuring the exact color it tells you how much of something (for example, a toxin) is present in the sample.
I had to do that a lot on factory samples, writing down measurements using pen & paper.
I'm lazy so I decided to do the logical thing: Automate it. I bought a second hand spectrometer, stripped the casing, did a shitload of glassblowing and hooked up tubes to the production pipelines, so I could get samples, mixing them in the correct ratio with reagents in continuous flows using valves.
I ended up using 2 home-crafted arduino-like boards (etching PCBs is fun!).
One to calibrate the mixture against known samples and control solenoid valves to continuously cycle through various reagents and deionized flushing water, the other to record the measurements and send them to a server running a Haskell/Yesod API.
The server collected the information into InfluxDB (A time series database), displaying all data on a graphite dashboard.
Eventually I wrote Haskell plugins for most of the chemistry processes, from pH & temperature measurements to polymer property and pigment tests (they made a lot of printer ink).
Then I was fired because they didn't need chemists anymore, and the code "could be maintained by the intern" (poor guy)...
But I did find out that I loved functional programming, chemistry automation projects, and crafting my own electronics during that time.16 -
First internship: accepted within two weeks, only got to do Google translating and fired after five weeks for bs reasons.
Grade: bad.
Second internship: accepted right after the interview. Rewrote websites to their newest cms, not that fun sometimes but alright.
Grade: pretty alright.
Third internship: was accepted without asking after a successful pilot program from my study. Designing and developing a huge back end system, done some smart light bulb hacking and get to solve server problems.
Grade: Great! Just one little thingy: they said I should stop doubting myself because "you're a great dude and programmer!"
It's getting better and better!3 -
This is an old rant from over 10 years ago in my first job at 19. I was tasked with turning off one of our clients email because they had left the company. Easy enough, logged into cPanel, job done. Later that day I get a phone call from the clients company asking if there was a problem with the email. No I said, everything should be fine, I did remove a 'joe.bloggs@blah.com' email address as instructed because... *reading job bag*... they had left the company. The client then said, that's my email you've turned off and hung up. Turned out he had been fired and no one told him. I felt horrible. I will always remember that conversation 😓8
-
So today I got fired.
Why?
The Ceo forgot they asked me to take care of some business while he was gone. They went on a trip to get thier butt inflated (quite litterally kim kardashian status) for two months.
Me, A general employee, not a captain, or a division manager.
Turns out I ran the company a lot more efficiently than they did, reducing our man power from 5 staff per task down to one per task.
Not only that increased client retention 78℅
Was let go for overstepping my company roles.
I think they we're just a bit jealous, or ego was too large.
Luckily, one of the division managers took me under one of their teams and is secretly keeping me on until I bust out of this joint.12 -
I've been fortunate enough to work with a lot of awesome people early into my career.
At the company I worked where I met @trogus, I became friends with a few people, including Tim, that I think were my favorites. It was a really fun bunch and though it may sound immature, but a lot of the times it felt like we were kids so for me coming out of college it was awesome.
There's so many stories from working with that bunch that come to mind for me. One of my best friends there was this guy "Dirty Devin." He started around the same time I did. When I first met him he seemed really boring and professional. After getting to know him, and after he'd been at the company for a few weeks, his actual personality started to show and he was like a child (in the best way possible) and was absolutely hilarious/made the work place a blast.
Our office had a ping pong table and neither Dirty Devin or I had ever really played. We started playing against each other and we both very quickly got really good.
I also met a guy named Botond (he's the one in the photo). He was very similar to Dirty Devin. Lots of crazy stories but the photo is actually a really funny one - we both got to work a few minutes early one day. And we couldn't get into the office. We kept trying to enter the door code and it wouldn't work. We kept joking that we must both be fired. Turned out that they had fired someone the night before and didn't bother to send out the new door code :/
And of course, Tim. I think we clicked pretty early on and had the same friend group at the company.2 -
I'm 54 y.o.
I think I'm completely outdated in my skill, as in the last 14 years, I worked on a specific business problem, with an old technology: a JSP application + javascript + postgres.
I do understand software development, agile, web application development, linux server, basic/moderate AWS skills, etc.
Now they laid me off instead of including me in the evolution of version 2 of the software. Maybe covid, company had almost no cash-flow. Well they have now...So basically they fired me to find money to rewrite the application.
I feel without hope at my age.
I'm a generalist.
I can understand fairly well everything you'll throw at me, reactnative, angular, nosql, python, but I have little first-hand experience.
I don't have a lot of management skills, even if I've given frequent presentations to C-roles and board, and I implemented a whole agile methodology in my team.
I don't know what to do.
The amount of technology to study is huge nowadays. When I was younger I could get away with some php and java.
Full-stack developer is a big word for me. Maybe I could handle a full stack web application, but not from scratch.
I feel at my age, I'll compete with 20-something guys with better skills and lower salary requests.
I don't think I can pull a night anymore.
I'm trying to shoot high to management positions with no much success.
I'd like to go on developing, I know that there are 50-something developer out there, but who managed to find a new position at 55? at 60?
As soon as I finish the few money I spared, I'll be on the street, I'l be the "website for food" guy.49 -
I came to Spain escaping my home country and started looking for a job in ANYTHING. Had done some coding as a hobby but nothing serious, still I sent a CV to some starting positions online (also sent the same CV to pet shops, Starbucks, cloth stores...) And I got chosen to participate in a one week training course / trial at a big company.
At the same time I managed to get a spot on a free and amazing course for music production, my dream profession. Yet I had to go for the one that actually had some work opportunities!
Got the job after the trial was done and immediately got sent to work with a 3 person team that was in charge of setting up a giant SharePoint site for the local mail office. It was kind of insane! For months I had no idea what I was doing and thought I was going to get fired any day.
5 years later, I still have no idea.6 -
Summing up many ridiculous meetings I've been in.
Many years ago we hired someone for HR that came from a large fortune 500 company, really big deal at the time.
Over the next 6 months, she scheduled weekly to bi-weekly, 1 to 2 hour meetings with *everyone* throughout the day. Meeting topics included 'How to better yourself', 'Trust the winner inside you'...you get the idea.
One 2-hour meeting involved taking a personality test. Her big plan was to force everyone to take the test, and weed out anyone who didn't fit the 'company culture'. Whatever that meant.
Knowing the game being played, several of us answered in the most introverted, border-line sociopath, 'leave me the frack alone!' way we could.
When she got the test results back, she called an 'emergency' meeting with all the devs and the VP of IS, deeply concerned about our fit in the company.
HR: "These tests results were very disturbing, but don't worry, none of you are being fired today. Together, we can work as team to bring you up to our standards. Any questions before we begin?"
Me: "Not a question, just a comment about the ABC personality test you used."
<she was a bit shocked I knew the name of the test because it was anonymized on the site and written portion>
Me: "That test was discredited 5 years ago and a few company's sued because the test could be used to discriminate against a certain demographic. It is still used in psychology, but along with other personality tests. The test is not a one-size-fits-all."
VP, in the front row, looked back at me, then at her.
HR: "Well....um...uh...um...We're not using the test that way. No one is getting fired."
DevA: "Then why are we here?"
DevB:"What was the point of the test? I don't understand?"
HR: "No, no...you don't understand...that wasn't the point at all, I'm sorry, this is getting blown out of proportion."
VP: "What is getting blown out of proportion? Now I'm confused. I think we all need some cooling off. Guys, head back to the office and let me figure out the next course of action."
She was fired about two weeks later. Any/all documentation relating to the tests were deleted from the server.16 -
Just a little bit of venting from me (written in GT for speed):
>be me
>apply for a programming job at a local company
>interviewer says that he's impressed with my resume and says that he'll call me
>one week later
>"hey anon, drop by our office, you're hired!"
>hot diggity damn!
>papers say that it's a help desk job
>"oh don't worry about it, it's just that we don't have a programming sector yet"
>wtf the job offer was for programmers but w/e a job is a job is a job
>start working there. Really mineal shit like fixing entries on SQL, resetting modems, etc.
>decide to write a couple of scripts for more mechanical tasks such as gathering .xml for the accountant
>everything is peaches and gravy
>one day the boss calls me into his office
>"hey anon, you're fired!"
>ask him why
>tells me my coworkers ratted me out on the scripts, says that I'm cheating on the job
>ni🅱️🅱️a wut???
>try to explain myself to him but he won't listen
>get fired after 4 months of being the most productive member of the team
That serves me right for trying to be good at my shitty ass job. Oh well.14 -
👋🏻 So, yesterday I thought I'd quit...
👠 Today it turns out I've been fired, and my resignation wasn't opened 😂 😂
🖕 Hannah from HR
In fairness I did literally say that to Hannah from HR yesterday in a sort-of-attempt to get myself fired, so... I'm not quite sure who wins...10 -
This was at my first internship (ranted about this before but hey fuck it).
- discovered several high critical vulnerabilities in their product. Wrote them down and kindly gave them to my boss/manager (they were the same person). He looked at me like 'the fuck' but I just went home at the end of the day. Next day, I got called into his office. I was a fucker, cancer guy who knew nothing about security, who would never reach anything and I shouldn't criticize their product (I had no right to because I was an intern).
- Bossman went to a meeting with a coworker to present their product. They came back to the office and it very clearly had gone pretty wrong. (we had nothing to do with anything related to the project including the meeting) he called us all bad things he could think of and it was all our fault and so on.
- I do have a transpiration problem but I can partly contain that when it's not too hot and the stress levels are okay. I was only allowed to sit in front of the window. YES IT WAS A MOTHERFUCKING HUGE WINDOW, 35-40 DEGREES FEELING TEMPERATURE AND NO MOTHERFUCKING AIRCONDITIONING. (okay gotta admit that one of the installation guys fell off the roof during the installation BUT THEN AT LEAST GET FANS OR SOMETHING).
Got called into his office multiple times because I smelled and 'couldnt take care of my hygiene'. I was literally sweating my ass off full-time so what the fuck could I do in those temperatures?!?
- my only project there: Google translating their whole CRM. Took us five weeks and the bossman kept pressure on us at all times which didn't FUCKING help.
Was fired after 5 weeks for hygiene reasons and because I didn't do my work well appearantly (still fuck translating all day).
One of the worst things? He pretended everything to go well until the first review came with my mentor (mentor == awesome guy). Then he talked shit about me like it was no-one's business.
I literally cried when I walked home after being fired.16 -
I work in a company where I'm the only developer, with everyone being designers or marketing or sales. Typically like the scene from Silicon Valley.
Moto was to create a ticket selling website for their products, and make sure they worked as well. It was all fine, until deadlines were discussed. They wanted it done within 2 weeks, the entire backend dashboard, API and front end.
I told them it's almost impossible to do it, but they insisted on it. So, I made a minimal dashboard and told them, I haven't completed a few things, such as if you edit data in one place, it won't reflect in other tables. So, be careful while editing the data.
They nodded their head for everything, yesterday was site launch and 2 hours before that one bastard decided to changed the product names to something "catchy" but failed to change the same in other places.
I had used the name as foreign key, so querying other DBs became a fuck all issue, and eventually API stopped giving any response to front end calls.
I got extremely pissed, and shouted at that dude, for fucking everything up. He said, you're the tech guy and you should've taken all this into account.
I sat and hardcoded all the data into database again, made sure site is live. Once it was live, these guys call a company meeting and fire me saying I was incompetent in handling the stressful situation.
At that moment, I lost my shit and blasted each of those people. The designer started crying since her absurd designs(though great) couldn't be realised in CSS that too within 2 weeks time.
One of the worst experience for working for a company. I could've taken the website down, and told them to buzz off if they'd called, I couldn't get myself to do it, hence ranting here.
I seriously feel, all these tech noob HRs need to get a primer course on how to deal with problems of a programmer before they get to hire one, most of these guys don't know what we're trying to tell in itself.
I find devRant to be the only place where I can get someone to understand the issues that I face, hence ranted.
TL;DR: Coded ticket selling site in 2 weeks. 3 hours to launch, data entry dude fucks up. I clean all the mess, get the site online. Get fired as soon as that happens.
Live long and prosper. Peace.16 -
Used to work for a company that used asterisk for telecommunications.
Boss asked me to quickly change the call charge costs effective immediately. Finished 3diting. Went to piss. Some douche from sales came and pressed asdffggkl into the code, went down 50 lines and left it there.
Got back. Saved the code, pushed through live without testing.
Get a call three minutes later asking what the fuck did I do. There were already 450 call tickets from clients moaning they couldnt call.
So I went and checked the file I pushed. Tested it. What. Line 460 asdffggkl? What the fuck.
Removed it and boom it worked.
Got called in and said I cost the company four times my salary. Said it wasn't me, I wouldn't make a mistake like that. Told him that it was my fuck up for leaving my pc open, and that it probably was best to lock the screen.
Said I'm lying. Pulled the fucking camera footage and there was the fucker changing my code.
I got pardoned, he got a warning (just a warning). For 15 Min, I thought my ass was fired.
Will never make that naive mistake again.14 -
Worst meeting I’ve been in?
Transitioning from an old system, the CEO said “We will transition on June 30th of next year or … heads … will … roll.”
Everyone knew what ‘heads will roll’ meant.
I wasn’t particularly worried because 90% of my work would be completed by December, the rest would be completed by the users (data transfers, etc.). Realistically, no reason we couldn’t transition by April or May.
June 15th comes around – CEO calls a meeting (managers, VPs, kind of a big deal) because we’re nowhere close to turning on the new system. Needless to say, I was a bit nervous, but my part had been done since November. I worked late nights, weekends, early mornings…I killed myself making sure the system was 100% ready.
CEO starts asking the different managers about what is taking so long…
Mgr-1: ”Well, we aren’t easily able to map our old customer records into the new system. The new system is too hard to use and taking a long time.”
Mgr-2: “We can’t reconcile until the customer records are in the database.”
Mgr-3: “We can’t proof the purchase orders until the customer accounts are reconciled.”
The ‘waiting on him/her’ excuse went around the room.
At this point, couple of the VPs look over at me …I felt like I just turned white …oh crap…I’m going to get fired because all these –bleep-holes just threw me under the bus.
CEO listens…nods…looks at my boss..
CEO: “OK, move the due date out 6 more months. Have your team help out in any way they can. I want this new system working correctly no matter how long it takes. If we need to move the date again, we just do.”
Part of me was relieved, other part was looking for a flame thrower. I worked myself to the bone, risked my marriage (in hindsight, I was not a nice person to her during that time), probably had an ulcer, and these sorry excuse for human beings dragged their asses for months and there was zero accountability.
That meeting was over 15 years ago and it bothered me so much I still remember the CEO was wearing a green button up shirt, khaki pants, and drinking coffee from a Break Time coffee cup.
Upside? Over the next couple of years, every one of those managers either quit or got fired.4 -
Yesterday I used a company service account to email over 1,000 internal employees (mostly application managers and the like) about an old OS version their servers are using which must be upgraded in a few months. It's an automated email that will repeat each month until the servers are upgraded.
That is not the part that might get me fired.
The part that might get me fired is an easter egg I left in the html content of the email itself.
In the embedded html of the message, I buried a comment block that contains a full-screen ascii-art drawing of a spooky tree and grim reaper standing beside a tombstone. The tombstone has the OS info and dates on it. Beneath the ascii-art is a bastardized quote in homage to Metallica's "For Whom The Bell Tolls", referring to the OS end-of-life.
The ascii-art is visible in both the html and the internal git repo that contains the email template.
This is a bit of a shoe-horn for this weekly group rant, as I doubt there is any chance I would really be fired over this, as I (sadly) expect that absolutely NO ONE who receives the messages will ever actually see the comments. But it's out there in the corporate network now... and will be sent over and over for the next few months...
There is a better chance someone may catch the easter egg in the git repo, but I kind-of doubt that, too - so I wanted to at least share with my devRant friends that it's out there, so at least someone else knows than just me. 😝6 -
user is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
This was what I saw on my first day at my job. I thought I was gonna get fired on my first day.1 -
I'll get to my four words in a sec, but let me set the background first.
This morning, at breakfast, I fired up my trusty laptop only to get a fan failure warning.
Finally, after the three year old is asleep tonight, I'm able to start dismantling the case to get to the fan. I'm hoping it just needs cleaned out.
Hard drive, memory, and keyboard spread out over the kitchen table. I'm not even halfway done.
Guess what? Now I'm one of the lucky 3500 people to have a power outage at 9 pm. Estimated restore time: 2 am.
Sigh.
"All those tiny screws"
And a three year old in the house...18 -
Today it was revealed that the dutch government doesn't even fucking use SPF records for their email. Someone found out by sending an email in the dutch's govt name and it actually fucking worked.
I hope they fire the people responsible for NOT implementing the most BASIC FUCKING EMAIL SECURITY/VALIDITY MEASURES IN FUCKING HISTORY.
Incompetent cocksucking motherfucking fucks.13 -
Our most senior and most competent backend developer got fired, he got told he "wasn't committed enough". This dude did the most complex tasks really quickly (and competently), could configure the most boring stuff off the top of his mind, and brought great culture to the company from his previous 20+ years of experience. He was about to implement some cool automation stuff, and improved our processes a great deal.
Now he's being let go. I was fearing *I* would get fired because I'm much slower and less knowledgeable than this guy.
When I talked to him, he figured the so-called "lack of commitment" was because he had missed a few standups the last few days, and got late to today's standup.
Now the boss (who is a less experienced than this dev who was let go, but co-founder of the company) was changing the database credentials (which we somehow have access to) and had the product down for like half an hour because of it.
I don't think firing this developer was a wise decision at all, and that's putting it generously. What a shame. Now I'm also a bit scared because the responsibilities of this developer might likely fall upon me. But generally I think we're worse off without this guy, and getting someone as good as him will take time.19 -
"Hey, Root, someone screwed up and now all of our prod servers are running this useless query constantly. I know I already changed your priorities six times in the past three weeks, but: Go fix it! This is higher priority! We already took some guesses at how and supplied the necessary code changes in the ticket, so this shouldn't take you long. Remember, HIGH PRIORITY!"
1. I have no idea how to reproduce it.
2. They have no idea how to reproduce it.
3. The server log doesn't include queries.
4. The application log doesn't include queries.
5. The tooling intercepts and strips out some log entries the legendary devs considered useless. (Tangent: It also now requires a tool to read the logs because log entries are now long json blobs instead of plain text.)
6. The codebase uses different loggers like everywhere, uses a custom logger by default, and often overwrites that custom logger with the default logger some levels in. gg
7. The fixes shown in the ticket are pretty lame. (I've fixed these already, and added one they missed.)
8. I'm sick and tired and burned out and just can't bring myself to care. I'm only doing this so i don't get fired.
9. Why not have the person who screwed this up fix it? Did they quit? I mean, I wouldn't blame them.
Why must everything this company does be so infuriatingly complicated?11 -
I got fired.
Worst job I ever had, they extended my probation period, called me "over maintenance", said my work was good but not good enough for the effort, If I take a lot of care doing my work then it's "over preparation", if not good enough then it's "not detailed enough", I don't ask enough questions? I must be unmotivated, I ask too many? I take up too much of other people's time.
Fuck them all. I hope they get a taste of their own medicine.10 -
You know what? Fuck this shit. We spend most of our life locked down in a school, we are being told facts, tested and stressed for many years with the only hope to get out as soon as possible.
Failing is something that keeps you there indefinitely.
Parents keep pushing on kids to achieve the best and get good grades to have a job.
Then something happens.
You get out of school and what happens?
You start working.
A.k.a modern slavery...
Employers thinks that since you are young they are doing YOU a favor if they decided to hire you.
So you find yourself having to do the same tasks everyone is doing, perhaps you are even fully capable of managing them and get the shit done but guess what!!
You are paid the minimum.
You barely make enough to pay off your rent which keeps you locked away from Holidays abroad, from that huge cake you desperately want.
And guess what! Try to raise your voice and you'll get fired in a Matter of seconds, replaced with someone else which accepts any condition.
You dream of a house, a family and a car but you can't even eat healthy with that salary.
So you are forced to buy cheap and low quality food from the same store again and again till you had enough and spend some days with that horrible feeling...
Calling you to get a job interview feels like they are doing you a favor, they always try to give the minimum possible and expect you to work in a serious manner and respect their deadlines.
Colleagues earn a lot more even though they aren't doing anything different from you.
For the first year you won't have any holiday, let alone traveling or anything different from just staying home for 3 days straight.
Banks won't give you a loan because your job doesn't pay off
The day that your car is broken you struggle to eat the whole month.
On top of that, taxes. Because they aren't taking away enough.
I don't want to live this life, I don't want to become a modern slave and work 8-17 everyday for the rest of my life and retire with a shitty retirement pension that won't probably grant me anything again.
I had enough of this shit.
I don't want to go back to work and pretend to do what I am supposed to do with a smile on my face knowing that I am just a number and that no matter how skilled I am I can always get replaced with N number of people for a lower salary of mine.
I am tired
I dream of a life that I won't ever reach this way.
Today I looked up houses prices and felt like shit.
I will never in my entire life be able to afford something so expensive, let alone buying furnitures and what is needed or what I like.
I dream of having my place, my dog and my family but apparently I am asking too much.
How is this even fair in 2018/2019?
I... I am... Speechless.
I wonder how many people out there are in the same situation or even worse and I can't even wrap my mind around that.
This is just modern slavery.
My boss makes a shit load of money from young people that can't complain because they are threatened and will eventually be replaced...
This is my rant.22 -
Drinking game: Take a shot whenever you’re staring at work and don’t feel like working.
Bonus game: try not to die or get fired.18 -
So today I got let go from my job.
I've worked for this company for about 2.5 years, and soon after joining I became the only IT resource for software. I had to support literally everything after they fired the rest of the team, but I did a great job and have been praised by all the management at the company.
A few months ago, after a salary review and a frank discussion with my boss and his boss, they agreed that I am due for a raise. They had a massive project coming up with a lot of extra expenses, but I was told that right afterward they would be giving raises.
I spent tons of late nights and weekends on this project, and we were able to get it mostly finished about a 1.5 months ago. I was instrumental in the project (the rest of the IT team didn't even know how to set up simple DNS records). An email was sent to the whole company thanking me for all the work I put into the project.
A week ago, I messaged my boss to ask about the status of raises as he had told me they should be going out at the beginning of this month. He said there won't be any raises, and that's all I heard. Then today I get a call telling me that they are letting me go.
Let me get this straight: you led me on with talk of a raise just to keep me here working long hours for your big project, and then you fire me after recognizing what a great job I did? That's just sick. I have watched them treat other employees and partners unethically, but it took getting it first hand to realize how bad it really is. My teammates were in shock when I said I was leaving as they have all leaned on me very heavily.
Fortunately, I have had several offers come in over the last few months (2 this week) for more pay. I only held off because of the lies I was told about receiving a raise and out of a false sense of loyalty. I'm not worried about my future at all, just angry at the way I was treated.29 -
GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOU FUCKWIT!
I can't even count how many times I've heard people excuse themselves with sentences like:
"It's not my fault I only got a C, our teacher was shit"
"How can I finish this assignment when the teacher haven't learned me this?"
"I'll be late to work because my dick was stuck in the sink"
(This is a real one I've experienced myself. A teacher said this last week)
"I wasn't able to put up your material for your assignment before now because we're busy with exams" - The day before the assignment was due. Gj.
"He doesn't deserve to get fired, it's not his not at fault for being incompetent"
Then who the fuck is? The government? Your neighbor? My dog? A stray dog?
STFU! I'm so fucking tired of all these excuses! Grow some hair and take responsibility.
The only thing you achieve by not doing so is making everyone else drown in your disgusting vomit your constantly letting out of your mouth.rant students teachers kinda wk92 everyone wk92 responsibility counts all says of the year fuck people8 -
Buddy from dept I was in 4 years ago: Check your email.
Me: OK
10 mins later
Buddy: Can you join a webex now?
Me: No
Buddy: OK, I'll forward the details, join when you can.
Me: Could you give me a little context?
Buddy: You helped them pull a cert off a USB stick in Switzerland last year (I'm in US).
Me: Don't think I did.
When I get a chance to read email chain, half of it is in German (I don't read it). Have not idea what this is about, but there seems to be a newer one that says it was resolved.
Me to Buddy: Looks like it was resolved.
Buddy: Yes, but they're still mad at you.
Me: Why?
Buddy: Because you wrote that app and it's hard to update the certs.
Me: I wrote that app as a favor, the dev they hired spent 6 months rewriting 3 SQL queries before being fired.
Buddy: LOL, well I guess they don't like the cert part.
Me: OK, but when I turned it over to them it didn't have a cert at all, I have no idea what the feature is.
Buddy: They said you help them last year.
Me: I didn't.
Buddy: Well they still think it's all your fault.4 -
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4 -
When I quit my previous job, they hired 3 guys to replace me. One of them was a swedish guy that was completely useless. He lived in another part of the country, and our manager and a senior dev flew him in and interviewed him at the airport. That was obviously not sufficient.
I got tasked with helping him get started. The code base seen in retrospect sucked really hard, but he got the simplest tasks at first. One time he needed to add a checkbox to a form, and do something different in the BL when that box was checked. I showed him where in the code he needed to do the change, and let him on his own. 1 hour later he asked again. He hadn't even been able to place the if-statement. Omg.
I told our manager that they really should get rid of this guy, since he isn't qualified to be a developer. They didn't listen.
In Norway we have a 6 month test period where it's easier to let someone go. After that, it's quite hard to fire someone.
After a while I talked to a old colleague of mine, and they had finally been able to get rid of him. That had taken months. When he was told that he had to improve, he went to the doctor and got a sick leave. You can't fire someone on sick leave.. Finally he got the option of resigning himself, or being fired. He chose the first option..
He should have been transferred to sales. If he could sell himself as a developer, he could sell anything to anyone... :D2 -
Me:, I built you this beautiful site it's super modular, it's really straight forward
Client: urm we aren't tech people if you could..... Set up all the pages for us using the modules so we can just input the data
Me: 😡 yes I could do that or you could take 5, minutes to learn this system. It's simple 😡 see that title there "left image right title module" . I've done the sample for the templates. So if you need to you can duplicate it! There's even a duplicate button!
Client: can you do it I don't want to waste time learning it right now since we are on a tight deadline
Me in head: fuck off you supreme bitch you try to get my mates dad fired! Now I've done you this huge favour getting you out of the shit 😡 and you won't take 5 minutes to just look at the admin section your old site was wix ffs.
My next move(not yet done): here is a word document it outlines what you need to do 😐
If after this see asks again I'm asking to work with someone else or quitting the project2 -
Quick recap of my last two weeks: 15 year old production server is basically dead, boss has taken over calls and claims credit for "resolving" outages (even though my coworker and I did the work, but ultimately the traffic died down enough to where it wasn't an issue anymore).
I go to a meeting to plan migration to a better server, boss bitches about not getting invited, I tell him I invited myself, and then he lectures about how that's not our job.
Different boss says we're migrating a schema for an application that should have been decommissioned 5+ years ago to use as a baseline. I explain what's going on, he says he understands, and proceeds to tell higher bosses it's perfect because there will be no user impact. OF COURSE THERE'S NO FRICKING IMPACT, YA DUNCE! there are no users!!!!
I merge two email threads together, since they discuss the same thing, but with different insight, and get yelled at, even though they requested it.
The two bosses I like are OOO for the next week, too, so I'm just sitting here hoping I don't say something that'll get me fired or sent to sensitivity training.
I'm just starting my on call rotation and don't know that I can do this. I cry when my phone rings, now, because I experience physical pain with how hard I cringe.
I got yelled at today by a guy because SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW assigned a ticket to him directly, rather than to the proper team (not his team). So I had to look into that, which at least had the benefit of preventing a catastrophic outage to our customers world wide, but no one will know because I don't brag at work; I'm too busy doing my job as well as most of my division/section/larger team, whatever the hell it's called. I saved us probably 25+ hours of continuous troubleshooting call from noticing something tiny that the people "smarter" than me missed.
**edit: sorry for typos; got my nails done yesterday but they feel like they're a mile long and I have to relearn how to type**7 -
My very first rant. I will try to make it count!
Recently my company had restructured with new GM who fired those who he didn't like and hired those who he did.
All ok I guess. And then...
We did a project for a big sportswear brand, interactive installation using WebSocket. My team developed the server with game engine and we also developed "shell front-end" with example code how to connect and interact with server.
Then we realized that our company was actually not hired by sportswear brand, rather by GM buddy-from-the-army tech vendor, who was hired by actual client.
Then, we also realized there is another company, that GM hired as freelancers, sitting at our office doing 'something'. And this 'other company' actually has same employees and address as GM's buddy company (meaning they are one entity with two names).
So.. what happened is that we get paid by party A, then we pay exactly the same amount to party B (which is actually same party A), and at the end... all our work was for free.
And then, this GM tells me I have to fire 2 developers from my team because we don't have enough business.
How did this guy even get to a position of this level?8 -
Story time!
A little over a year ago I was in the hiring process with a new company and countered their initial offer. I was told by the CTO that it was no problem and they would get back to me soon.
A couple days go by and I'm then informed that they're hiring a new IT director and would like me to interview with him as well. It felt kinda lame since I'd already been offered the job but I rolled with it.
When I showed up to the office for an interview I tried to call and let them know I was there and couldn't get a hold of anyone. 30 minutes later I get a call from the CTO saying they couldn't find the new IT director and when they got him to answer the phone he said he had left early and would call me to do a phone interview.
Obviously the whole experience so far has been pretty lame but I stuck with it because I knew the CTO personally. I did the phone interview and quickly realized this dude was a prick, and would be a terrible boss, but I spoke with the CTO again who told me to stick with it and eventually I did get the job.
Fast forward about a month and it's clear the new director is trash. He literally bragged about firing a dude over an accidental outage (wtf!?).
He had the technical experience you'd expect of a junior help desk and his management skills were pretty clearly sub-par.
He was also, for whatever reason, completely unable to communicate with the only woman on our team. When assigning work he would always feel the need to ask if she could 'handle it' rather than just assigning it to her like it's done for everyone else. He was pretty clearly sexist.
The whole team hates this dude by this point but he's somehow managed to woo the executives into thinking he shits gold.
I was helping him set up a Python venv on his machine when I noticed another VPN client installed which certainly piqued my interest. After a bit of digging it was clear he was using company time and company equipment to continue working for his previous employer.
We turned over logs and he was fired the next day. He tried to add me on LinkedIn afterwards and I have never declined something quicker.
Moral of the story is don't be a dickhead.1 -
I've been fairly lucky with my bosses of late since I've progressed in my programming career. But my absolute worst boss was when I first started working in an office environment doing data entry. My boss at the time was terrible, and she was always against innovation or process improvement. She also always tried to make herself look good and taking credit for the accomplishments of others. If she screwed up it was your fault, and she was "always buried in email" so she could never respond to you for pto requests, or escalation of issues between departments. My whole family pretty much worked in various roles in the department and she fired my brother after my mother left the company for no reason, saying he was "sleeping", but I worked right next to him and he's tall and had to slouch just to comfortable see his computer screen since the same manager refused to approve work station improvements for him.
Our workflow was to receive daily spreadsheets of health care claims that we had to manually process and enter into the system. So being the lazy innovator that I am, and trying to find ways I can efficiently work, I delved into studying visual basic and programmed a few functions and tools in excel to analyze, highlight, and process some of the data since the claims on the spreadsheets always had a specific pattern. This was all before I had any formal education in computer science so the program was very basic and clunky but it tripled my efficiency. When I brought it up to my boss to spread it among the rest of our team so they could use it after a short 20 minute training, she struck it down saying any training or use of it would be a waste of resources since it was too technical and complex to be used and if I were to keep improving it or use it I would be fired. It was literally copy and paste from one spreadsheet to the other en masse and clicking a button to sort and fill in the blanks. Eventually I showed it to the director of the department when working on a large data entry project with her, and I was later offered a job as a technical analyst where I was responsible for the codebase that generated the reports for the department and specifically all the reports my old boss used where I would occasionally mess with her to get back at all the crap she gave me and my brother. Since all the reports were blind carbon copied to everyone, I would send out her reports on a delay while everyone else got them on time. It eventually got her in so much crap she had to step down as a manager. She still works in the same company that I started working at again earlier this year, and like the many careers she's ruined she eventually ruined her own within the company 😂4 -
Devrant client update:
- load indicator on ajax execs
- changed the design yet again, hopefully final this time lol
- implemented ajax content loading so the menubar doesn't flash
- block users/keywords plugins done, only left to find a clean way to integrate it with the upcoming notifications, so no notifications are fired for blocked users or posts with blocked keywords (similar to twitter mute keywords)
- usernames linkifier plugin
- links get unshortened on feed too (via plugin), without losing the ability to press on a post
next is (just to name a few, the trello list is far bigger by now)
- login
- local notifications, should be firing without GCM/FCM too hopefully, which would be great for people on here that de-googled entirely and don't want microG
- port some of my userscript plugins I haven't yet
- theme system
- global and plugin settings
- plugin update system
- plugin import checks for obfuscated code, one line etc. and warns the user
- client update system7 -
Yeah Mozilla fuck merit and fuck you too!
This, this is what I was talking about when the fucking CoC came out and everyone (including it's author) started it using it as a political weapon.
You castrated fucking virgins! Mozilla, I want to support you I really don't like chrome but you always manage to disappoint everyone. I'm tired, tired of you morally superior socialists infecting my fucking workplace, entertainment and news.
This is just an excuse for lazy assholes to have their cake and eat it too and it's damn fucking INSULTING to us "minorities", I can work to get nice things just like anyone else bitch! having another skin color is not a disability!
Worst of all, you seem to have straight out millennial retards making these decisions seeing as it's based on an article from a washed up "gender research" professor that thinks Barbie Doctor is problematic, the most biased and dumb source you can possibly pull out of your ass.
Two classmates were murdered this morning, do you really think we care about what your diversity and inclusion Dept thinks it's problematic? You delusional halfwits, the only comforting thought is that your soft bigotry will perish alongside your product when it inevitably diminishes it's quality for sake of "equality".
Want to make better products? Ditch your useless diversity and inclusion department and start optimizing the memory consumption on firefox.
Want to help minorities? Start paying your outsourced developers decently.
I hope this helps people who thought including politics in software development wouldn't have dire consecuences to open their eyes; if not, oh well I guess people will get it when mozilla keeps going down the drain and they get fired because they just outsourced their work in the name of "diversity" just to save money.
https://blog.mozilla.org/inclusion/...100 -
I got a call at 12:30 one night a few months back. Apparently some back-end scripts I edited to fix an automated test setup crashed around 75 test pc's and halted somewhere around 2000 tests. I quickly jumped on, fixed the issue, and got everything back online.
I was up all night certain I would get fired. First thing in the morning the client says welcome to the club some, of the best have done the same thing.2 -
That feeling when the company looses a 120k account and it is blamed on your expert opinion and poor handling off the situation when It's really the fuckwits in sales who in their greed for provisions make shitty pitches.
I got a call to attend a meeting with a customer. Present was also the "developer" from the customers side who was to oversee the projects. The pitch was made earlier, but no information was provided beforehand so I was going in blind, covering for a suddenly absent lead. The point was to roughly present how the project was to be executed and I was told to voice my opinion on development time estimate that the clients expert had given. They were outsourcing and had already fired their whole team.
I gave a number based on the provided information and all hell breaks loose. Suddenly it's a total circle jerk. Shit goes down. The "dev" tells that he can do it himself in half the time and starts showing some shitExcelsOfTotalAbsurdness that prove it. I calculate his claim and end up with a result that he has 60+ hours in his day, so I ask why doesn't he do it then? Why the outsourcing if they could just give him a raise and save a ton of cash.. sudden silence and you just can hear the rusty gears turn while they try to make a new excuse.
Well it went south. Today I found out that the client was our sales guys buddy. so TL;DR of it was that our sales guy was trying to make a quick buck and give a break to his buddy and hang the shitbucket on our team. I pointed out that this was a shitty business deal that would go into the red, but the sales guy turned it around and now "I cost company 120k/month account on a long project" and because I acted unprofessionally customer is unhappy.
I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT
secretly hoping to get fired over this10 -
So today was shite. I get done with classes for today after going to work in the morning( college student) and I get a phone call. SURPRISE! We have a client meeting in twenty minutes.
My class runs from 5-9 and the meeting was scheduled at 7:30. I was let out early thank god. Then made sure that we had deliverables for the project running and ready to go.
Meeting with the client went well and he was pleased with my progress.
Now I have been the only one developing any sort of deliverable for this website. It originally started out with three people. The main developer will call him Cunt and a front-end dev that isn't on the project anymore.
FUCKING CUNT DECIDED TO COME AT ME FOR SAYING THAT THERE WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION ERROR AND ONE OF THE TASKS WASNT FINISHED. THEN CUNT ASKED IF I HAD ALL OF THE FRONT DEVS PAGES TO WHICH I SIGHED YES. CUNT FUCKFACE PROCEEDED TO EDUCATE ME ON HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DEVS AND NOT MAKE CRITICIZE HER CODE. UM CUNT YOU HAVENT COMMUNICATED WITH HER FOR THE THREE MONTHS IVE BEEN ON THIS PROJECT. AND YOUVE CONSTANTLY AVOIDED BEING IN THE OFFICE WHEN ANYONE IS PRESENT AND EVEN SHOOED HER AWAY. THE FACT THAT CUNT ISNT FIRED IS BECAUSE I TOOK LEAD ON HIS PROJECT AND HAVE MAKING EVERY DEADLINE FOR THIS AND OTHER PROJECTS.
*breaths*
Moral of this. Don't be a CUNT!2 -
TL;DR Setup computer for new guy @ office, he got mad about software he was missing that we weren't told he needed, so he complained to the director above our department and got us in trouble.
I work for a small company, in which the I.S. Department is 8 people (Manager Included). We do everything from setting up computers and fixing printer problems to writing custom software for in-house use. Kind of a "Renaissance Department" if you will.
So a few weeks ago we were asked to set up a computer for a brand new user, meaning he would need email setup, a domain account, etc. We were also given a (very) small list of programs he would need to do his job. No problemo, took me 30 minutes, and he was good to go.
Last week I met the guy because he was training at the general office and his training computer lacked a few tools. Since I was called to remedy that situation, I introduced myself, told him if he ever had any problems to let me know and I would get him fixed up.
Now today, 5/5/2017, 15 seconds after walking into the door of the department, I am pulled aside by my boss and asked if I setup up the new guys desktop, to which I proudly replied yes. Come to find out the (very) small list of tools we were told he needed was incomplete, so he was missing stuff (how the fuck were we supposed to know that). So what does the new fuck do? HE COMPLAINS TO A DIRECTOR ABOVE OUR DEPARTMENT SAYING THE IT GUYS DIDN'T SETUP HIS COMPUTER PROPERLY! Like holy shit dude, why not send me a fucking email like you did before telling me you needed stuff? I would have GLADLY fucking helped. Now I hope your computer catches on fire. Or you get fired. I'll take either one.2 -
Don’t you love when you put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into a company and then you get fired because your wife got a flat tire and you had to go help fix it?
When I got to this company they were not using version control, had no tooling in place, and most of our day was spent merging projects by hand and going through a long process to deploy our applications (this company is a primarily Salesforce company).
I got everyone using git and built a node client to transpile JavaScript and SASS, lint code, package everything together, and deploy it to Salesforce. Productivity jumped and the amount of time all of us spent merging code by hand dropped significantly.
A few weeks after finishing this CLI I was moved to another team and subsequently let go because I had to leave early to help my wife fix a flat tire. Now I am freelancing and actually doing pretty damn well for myself. Bonus: I no longer have to work with the disaster that is Salesforce!2 -
Fucking fuck you fucking fucked up fuckery.
I got fired and signed mortgage at the same day. Well looks like next two months going to be fun.
Time to get drunk.20 -
Wish me luck, ranters. Tomorrow I start working in an IT company for the very first time. Hope I don't get fired very soon, freelancing is hard. And I still owe >1300€7
-
!dev && feelsbadman
I don't know what to think.
All I know is that I just went reaaaaal close to a disaster.
Friday morning, my "scariest" manager (as in, if you have to meet with him, it's usally for something serious) told me that he needed to see me on monday (so today) with the lead dev, the project manager and the dude who recruited me.
The meeting was like an arena of 4 vs 1, where they all 4 had problem with the work I do, as in I make a lot of small but stupid mistakes that wastes everyone's time. As an excuse, I suffer from sleep apnea so I wake up as tired I am when I go to sleep, and I snore loud as fuck. I've heard some records, it's not even human. (I'm 1m85-ish for 125 kg, it's BIG but with my morphology it's not like I'm a ball of fat)
Anyway. And since it's not the first time they're reproaching me this kind of stuff, they were all... really angry. Because I'm a nice guy, competent and all but not productive enough and easily distracted.
So, when the manager asked me to meet me, it was to fire me. However, during the lunch break, the lead dev found a solution: I get out of the current project I was in until this morning, and I write all the functional tests for all the projects, because they all lack quality and we sometimes deliver regresses.
They proposed me this in a way I could refuse, and I'd get fired because they had no other options. Obviously, I said yes, I'm not stupid enough to decline a possibilty to avoid a monstruous shitstorm that would have cut me my studies, the money for taxes, and a lot of fun to find a job as fast as possible.
But what surprised me the most is that they were genuinely glad I accepted, like, even though I made my shit ton of mistakes, they weren't pleased at all to get rid of me.
And in a way, I'm the one who won in this story, since I don't have to work with Drupal anymore, excepted to parse the website to write my tests, but my nightmare fuel is finally gone *.*
I don't know where to finish with this rant, but I needed to vent this whole thing, to write it somewhere so I can move forward.
I wish y'all a nice week.3 -
Decided I'm going to tell my boss I'm no longer going to do wordpress.
It all started innocently, like helping someone find an option or something, but now I have to write plugins...
Not part of the deal.
I've also got 0 motivation to go to work since starting this shitty project. I used to want to go to work and looked forward to helping out, but this is just soul numbing.
Let's see how that goes (either tomorrow or Wednesday).
I'll let you guys know if I get fired :p14 -
I was told in an 1:1, quite literally, "not everybody can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." - get fucked! The person I had to "report to" was an idiot (at the same senior level as I was) and obviously threatened.
Then moved down to customer support, where I was fired for fixing problems faster than going through the chain of levels, because I was creating quick scripts to patch the faulty data.1 -
April fools day prank idea:
1. Replace all semicolons with Greek question marks
2. Add a Gradle task that automatically fixes the semicolons, but only when run on the build servers
3. Watch as people get confused because the code builds in the server but not locally3 -
# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July
# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....
# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....
# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!
So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.
That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.2 -
I’d heard rumblings from my friends in other parts of the organization that there were going to be layoffs coming, so I’d warned my little engineering team. One of my team was vacationing abroad.
When he came back, one of my teammates told him it was all over and we were going to get fired.
He told me that he’d been told that and I said that it probably wouldn’t affect us and that I wouldn’t worry about it (I was under the impression that the layoffs would only really hit customer-facing roles).
The member of my team who just got back from vacation, the one who I reassured, was the only member of my team who was part of the group laid off.
Goddamn it. -
One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.
On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).
Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.
I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".
Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.
There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.
Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).26 -
Well, fuck. The CTO of our startup decided to migrate data of our hundred thousand customers from a stable functioning platform to an in-house unstable platform with severe performance issues, to "save" costs, despite our repeated requests. He made us not have any contingency plans because he wanted to "motivate" us to complete the migration.
Result- we have a thousand customers reporting major issues daily, which is causing loss of revenue to both us and them. The company ran out of funding. Most of the team members were fired. And he's expecting the rest of us to magically fix everything. Dunno what kind of office politics is this, in which you're sabotaging Your Own company.
Looking for a new job now to get out of this hellhole. I really used to love this company. Feels sad to see it ruined like this.4 -
I really am grateful to be a software engineer.
Being a software engineer here in my country really is wonderful. We're very short on software engineering and IT professionals, so we could quite easily make 2 to 4, even 5 times average salary, and most of us don't even have to worry about getting fired because we can quite easily get a new job in a matter of weeks.
I'm really, really grateful. And I intend to give back to the community by enabling those without access to formal education in IT to learn a bit about software engineering by sharing my knowledge freely in my blog. I hope I can keep consistent in this. Wish me luck!14 -
The day I discovered Schrödinger's lesser known paradox of simultaneously being fired and not fired.
This isn't really much of a dev story, but I figured I'd share it anyway.
About two minutes into signing into all my stuff, I suddenly was kicked out of everything. I tried logging in a few more times, and then suddenly started getting the error, "Your account has been disabled for security reasons." I couldn't sign into chat, and co-workers confirmed that I was missing from the company directory. My manager didn't come in for another two hours, and we couldn't get anyone else to answer what the hell was going on. So I was kinda panicking.
Eventually, we found out from one of our coordinators that someone else with the same name as me was leaving the company, and they had deactivated the wrong person.
It ended up getting a lot better. They told me that it could take up to 48 hours to restore my access (it took longer), so I found stuff to do so I could maintain my paycheck. One of those things was assisting someone with data collection and processing, where I eventually said, "Dude, I could totally automate this," and now that's what I'm getting paid to do.1 -
Weirdest co-worker... We'll not to be judgy, but I think our industry is sort of home of the weirdos, but.. there's a few over-the-top weirdees we've had at work.
First one that comes to mind was a guy that walked liked Mr. Burns, hands behind the back & chest out. He microwaved the same thing every single day for breakfast - crackers, sausage and cheese. 😖This guy would get to his tasks very slowly, wouldn't talk to anyone on our team, and would go missing from his desk a lot, sometimes for extended periods (2+ hours). He really struggled to catch on to easy tasks. He quit after a few months, thank god.
Another weirdo we had was a girl who just couldn't dress to save her soul. She would wear these ugly ass sneakers that had neon colors reminiscent of bowling shoes (neon orange and green) and would wear turtlenecks and floor length skirts that all the colors just clashed. Her outfits were uglier than your great grandma's. Myself, her and 2 other girls dressed up as the Dr. Seuss things for Halloween, but did h1, h2, etc. tags instead and she put like rope from curtains in her hair with like 10 little pony tails. Just like wtf. She would play her gameboy at lunch and not talk to anyone much. She was really bad at our job, a lot of clients complained. She would literally read a book, braid her bangs or nap at her desk. Needless to say, she was fired.6 -
"Sooo, children of the village, what are we going to write front-end in?" - I said to my infant students.
"Typescript with ts-loader/awesometypescript loader for webpack" - simultaneously yelled the kids.
"Exactly! Brilliant! And now, what are we going to be writing back-end in?" - asked I then.
The kids yelled: "PHP 7.2 with Laravel, or Go with Gingonic and juliensmith/httprouter, or Typescript without loader, with express/koa"
Truly stunned with their excellence, I asked "Well, now you 100% ain't gonna get it right - what are we going to be writing a desktop application that doesn't require a lot of native functionality and preferably, cross-platform in?" And the kids didn't hesitate to yell happily "Typescript targeting Electron", which has only brought tear to my eye.
"A native ms windows app?" "WPF under C#"
"A native gtk app?" "Vala"
"A native KDE/XFCE app?" "Cpp/Qt"
"A native mac app?" "Swift3.2/4"
I was in tears, just thinking about what future these kids have, but suddenly I have noticed one of kids seemed puzzled. It was Pajeet, an indian guy, ugh, his mom was a bitch. I asked him "What is wrong, little acoustic?" "But I like Java, and I would like to make back-end with Tomcat!" he replied. "Ooooh :3" cutely I moaned, trying to reach the handle of the table locker "I've got something just for you". I pulled out a rope, with sewed-in spikes, covered in drool and piss, came up to Pajeet and tenderly put it around his neck, making a knot. Pajeet fell under the table, and I got fired.8 -
My worst experience is, that I was fired after the third week in a new job. I worked then for a really small company.
My supervisor didn't like me and just wanted me out.
He asked for feedback and new ideas. I provided good reviews.
I even gave the company really good ideas, didn't get any credits for it, but they have implemented them now. Never got any credit for it.
I can look back and say that my supervisor then was a douche and wanted to kill off a young guy with a bit more technical knowledge and a vision.
For me it's in the past...
Now I got a way better job at a really gigantic company, better pay, much better work with better working times, a very friendly and helpful team, which appreciate my feedback and effort.
Sometimes it needs to get worse, to have later something better.
Now I can enjoy my new job and go everyday with a smile in my face :)4 -
I'm a lead Dev on an agile team. We were just handed a fixed scope, fixed date project. On Monday, instead of helping push this out, I get to have a meeting to explain how throwing more bodies at it will slow us down.
"No! We are not code monkeys! Knowing JS and Java isn't the same as knowing our application. Stop fantasizing that it's a simple manpower issue and leave us alone so we can work these fucking nightmare timelines in peace!!"
I'm looking for a better way than that to explain it to the Sr management for the business so I don't get fired.16 -
I accidentally triggered a reindex on an database with 14 million records in it. It prevented hundreds of people from doing their jobs for several hours. Probably cost the company tens of thousands of dollars. Didn't get fired for it, but man it didn't feel good...
-
I've been fired today and somehow it was an relief :)
As I know that I am pretty much the only one who knows how the infrastructure works and I am the only one who actively tried to get the company to a better level of coding (tests, code reviews, proper deployment / continuous integration,...) It somehow feels like that gif.10 -
Hey Root, remember that super high-priority ticket that we ignored for five months before demanding you rewrite it a specific way in one day?
Yeah, the new approach we made you use broke the expected usecases, and now the page is completely useless to the support team and they're freaking out. Drop everything you're doing and go fix it! Code-complete for this release is tonight! -- This right after "impacting our business flow" while being collapsed on the fucking floor.
Jesus FUCKING christ, what the fuck is wrong with these people?
If I dropped the ball on a high-priority ticket for two weeks, I'd get fired, let alone for five fucking months.
If I was a manager and demanded a one-day rewrite I can only imagine the amount of chewing out I'd receive, especially on something high-priority.
And let's not forget product ownership: imagine if I screwed up feature planning for someone so badly I made them break a support tool in production. I'd never hear the end of it.
Fucking double standards.
And while I'm at it. Some of the code I've seen in this codebase is awful. Uncommented spaghetti, or an unreadable mess with single-letter variables, super-tightly coupled modules so updates are nearly impossible, typos in freaking constants added across sixty+ files, obviously-incorrect comments, ... . I'll have to start posting snippets to show them off. But could I get away with any of it? ha. Hell no. My code must be absolutely perfect. I hear about any and every flaw, doesn't matter how minor, and nothing can go out until everything is just so.
Hell, I even hear about flaws in other peoples' code during my code reviews. Why? Because I should have fixed it, that's why. But if I do, I get yelled at for "muddying the waters."
Just. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
It's like playing a shell game where no matter which shell I pick (or point to their goddamn sleeve where they're clearly hiding it), I get insulted for being so consistently useless, and god damn, how can I never find the fucking pea or follow the damned rules? I'm so terrible and this is why "nobody trusts me." Fuck you.
I'll tell you why I can't find your damned pea: IT'S RATTLING INSIDE YOUR FUCKING HEADS, you ASSHOLE FUCKING IMBECILES.
That's right: one pea among the lot of them.
goddamn I am fucking pissed off.rant drop everything and rewrite your rewrite oopsie someone else made a mistakey double standards shell game root can do no right root swears oh my8 -
Fuck startups.
Back when I was an wee lad I interviewed for an startup, not knowing that startups are not real companies. The scumbag interviewer, who was also the owner of the outfit, asked me what I was looking in a company. I said "fair wages, a non-antagonic environment and projects with real roadmaps".
He asked me to elaborate. I said, "You know, if today your product is a sales platform, I do not want to come into work next week and discover it is now an air travel tickets marketplace, or come back the very next day and discover it is now an automated pizza factory, or in the next day and it is now a crypto exchange..."
The scumbag looked PISSED. "Sorry, but we are looking for someone who likes the challenges of a dynamic environment (read: we do not have a business model and we hate the very idea of trying to make money out of our company), and you do not fit the profile"
Startups are not real companies, i.e. they do not systematically charge money in exchange for goods or services in amounts that exceed the cost of providing said goods or services. Most startups are just tax fronts for money laundering schemes. The rest are just playthings for rich assholes who can't get a real output-producing job. Those two categories are not mutually exclusive.
Take Facebook, for example. The poster child of startups. The Zucker that owns it just announced they are setting impossible performance targets on purpose, not even attempting to hide the fact that it is just a way to lay off large quantities of employees without using the words "massive lay offs". Companies, real thin-margin, lots-of-regulation profit-driven companies do not do that. They are not some sort of "capitalist woke", real CEOs just know that if their companies largely miss performance targets on their tenure, purposely or not, next it will be their neck on the chopping block. Because they can be fired if the KPI charts say they suck. But the Zucker cannot be fired, not even after commanding their beanbag and tap beer offices to be heated exclusively by burning hundred dollar bills.
So the Zucker is not interested in performance. Not even in lay offs as expense cutting measures - investors are an infinite source of free money for startups. The Zucker just wants to project power, especially now that engineers are not so confident in the stability of they high-paying jobs.
So are irrelevant 500-souls-or-less self-aggrandizing startups. Their owners are there because it is in vogue to have a startup or ten. And will have that startup pivot to whatever sounds fancy that season. After all, only poor people care about things like EBITDA and profit margins repeatability - A.K.A. "getting more money".
Fuck startups.13 -
The reason I drink a lot of water so that I can go to the washroom more often just to waste time while I'm at work.
I haven't been assigned any work for this week. Maybe I'll get fired. My manager isn't showing any appreciation towards my work.6 -
I was at a company for almost 5 years (my first job too). Got fired a few months ago by my mentor/the lead dev who was there for about 3 - 3 1/2 years of my time there. He left for better opportunities, he knew the company was pretty shitty to work for. He comes back (why???) and fires me about 1-2 months after his return.
Reason why, I'm unhealthy for the company and the company is unhealthy for me (not because I'm a bad dev, cool I guess). I don't disagree (a lot happened while he was gone, but he doesn't really know what happened) but this happens after I have a "discussion" with him about how I don't know how to prioritize my work anymore with new policies regarding billables and pms and management pushing me in multiple directions in regards to what I should be working on. (There's more to this but I'm trying to finish this rant eventually.)
I'm not surprised but I'm pissed at the company for never really improving and I'm pissed at him for drinking the kool-aid so to speak.
I want this company to fail. I'm surprised it hasn't. The place was a shit show when it came to the Dev department and my old mentors return didn't help much either.
I should get over it and move on but this place was like a toxic relationship I couldn't bring myself to leave (as much as I wanted to leave and knew I should). And there's so much to unpack with this place.
I'm hoping dev rant can be a good place to unpack the shit I dealt with there over the years so I don't burden my friends and family with my thoughts.
So yeah, hey ya'll and welcome to my rant(s).5 -
Some of the penguin's finest insults (Some are by me, some are by others):
Disclaimer: We all make mistakes and I typically don't give people that kind of treatment, but sometimes, when someone is really thick, arrogant or just plain stupid, the aid of the verbal sledgehammer is neccessary.
"Yeah, you do that. And once you fucked it up, you'll go get me a coffee while I fix your shit again."
"Don't add me on Facebook or anything... Because if any of your shitty code is leaked, ever, I want to be able to plausibly deny knowing you instead of doing Seppuku."
"Yep, and that's the point where some dumbass script kiddie will come, see your fuckup and turn your nice little shop into a less nice but probably rather popular porn/phishing/malware source. I'll keep some of it for you if it's good."
"I really love working with professionals. But what the fuck are YOU doing here?"
"I have NO idea what your code intended to do - but that's the first time I saw RCE and SQLi in the same piece of SHIT! Thanks for saving me the hassle."
"If you think XSS is a feature, maybe you should be cleaning our shitter instead of writing our code?"
"Dude, do I look like I have blue hair, overweight and a tumblr account? If you want someone who'd rather lie to your face than insult you, go see HR or the catholics or something."
"The only reason for me NOT to support you getting fired would be if I was getting paid per bug found!"
"Go fdisk yourself!"
"You know, I doubt the one braincell you have can ping localhost and get a response." (That one's inspired by the BOFH).
"I say we move you to the blockchain. I'd volunteer to do the cutting." (A marketing dweeb suggested to move all our (confidential) customer data to the "blockchain").
"Look, I don't say you suck as a developer, but if you were this competent as a gardener, I'd be the first one to give you a hedgetrimmer and some space and just let evolution do its thing."
"Yeah, go fetch me a unicorn while you're chasing pink elephants."
"Can you please get as high as you were when this time estimate come up? I'd love to see you overdose."
"Fuck you all, I'm a creationist from now on. This guy's so dumb, there's literally no explanation how he could evolve. Sorry Darwin."
"You know, just ignore the bloodstain that I'll put on the wall by banging my head against it once you're gone."2 -
Co-worker: dude, I need your help!
Me: all yours.
Co-worker: can't fix that sh$t over here.
[IDE]
Err on line~~
badFunction(...);
Me: piece of cake, gimme your keyboard.
[IDE]
Build successeful.
Co-worker: duuude, how did you...???
Me: Better not look.
Co-worker: but I am curious to know, ya know
Me: promise not to scream, k?
Co-worker: I just hope it's none of your old-stylish jokes.
Me: oh dude, you know me for years, trust me, it's fine.
Co-worker: -_-5 -
Be me, miss specifying the item in an array so a drop-down doesn't work, get fired from the project and moved to a much lesser project.
Be the other guy, fuck up the app so bad you have to roll back 3 weeks worth of work...no big deal...1 -
Someone put my name on a mailing list for pornographic material to try to get me fired from my new job6
-
I had a manager in a fortune 500 company encourage me to install a web cam with live feed in another team members cube as a prank. Being younger, I trusted him and so figured it would fine and just get a good laugh.
Then another member found the setup and reported it. Turns out, this broke so many company regulations, I could have been fired on the spot. They confiscated my laptop and I got the 3rd degree from my senior director, who told me I was lucky to be a contractor at the time or the situation would have been even worse.
Moral of the story for younger folks in large corporations... don't take everything your higher ups say as gospel. Think for yourself and do your own research if something feels iffy.2 -
Story of WTF happened to my job
During my employment in (name censored) was stressful, They claimed I didn't complete my task on time which they constantly remove me from git and documentation(which have to follow their style of returning data), I kept emailing, slack, WhatsApp calls them, mostly and predictably got ghosted and blocked.
So How the fuck am I supposed to push my code or code without the documentation (I can actually, prevent refactoring every time, following the documentation is the good way to go.)
On the sprint review, they will complain about me not committing and pushing the code. (I did commit locally, but can't push, they removed me from the fucking repo) and not done.
Tried reasoning, telling the obvious reasons with them, doesn't work. They come out the second reason of me "NOT COMMUNICATING". Sometimes I can get to git merge from dev to my branch and get tonnes of fucked up code. I reviewed the code, and I can't tolerate it.
Lately, I overheard them mocking and cheering me about to get fired over a zoom meeting (I was in there, they forgot to remove me). Their conversation is about me being a coloniser, a jerk, betraying Chinese ancestors for being not Chinese enough.
I was like: "Why the fuck does their conversation sound like they are tucked in the Qin dynasty?"
Frequently I got labelled as unprofessional.
How is cussing about my ancestors, personal and life a professional behaviour?16 -
Me. Everyday. I was actually fired for “unprofessional conduct.” Apparently screaming fuck at everyone and telling them to get fucked when they’re being stupid isn’t professional.
I like to think of my behavior as “informal.” 😉9 -
I have this amazing idea, said John
I ask John about this amazing idea.
John goes on to say that it will change the world and solve world hunger.
I ask him again, what's your idea?
John says my idea is to 'solve world hunger'! AMAZING RIGHT?
now now John, so you're gonna do it like (provide a few solutions)..
John says yeah that was exactly what my idea was (ah. Fuck you)
So John now is under the delusion that he can solve world hunger and the steps to do it came from his own ostrich-brained imagination...
Tiny fuck doesn't even realize the fact that he plagiarized.
Now we look into the future where I ask John honestly that he should come up with his own idea to solve world hunger and not use mine.
JOHN GETS ANGRY
John asks 'do you actually think that was your idea? We were brainstorming man, I told you we had to solve world hunger and only because of my voice did I spark that idea in you, I created that idea man'
So, well since he's plagiarized so much I told him that I had this plan to perform a hunger strike in the grand Canyon to get some attention..
Fidgety little bitch found another idea to steal and he was like good idea!! I'm booking my flight to the Grand Canyon now!
What bout me I ask? He says man take some rest let me face the pressure (and the glory apparently)
Well, John did not return.
Poor stupid John did not realize that I had been joking and got his little ass fired under the direct sun in the grand canyon
Moral of the story :
I WILL DESTROY YOUR HOMES AND YOUR LIVES PLAGIARISTS, I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU *cough**cough*
Damn that Sulphur hexafluoride actually worked!8 -
So, monday I posted a rant saying that monday was a terrible day and that I was probably going to be fired/quitting soon.
Wednesday, I'm told that the project I had been working on for about a week was changed 2 days ago and to stop working on it.
Yesterday, I signed in and asked if there was any work for me (I work remotely) and nobody really responded so I just found something to work on. (This whole time, I'm thinking oh fuck, about to get fired) Then, about an hour before I was to sign out, I get a message saying that I'll be working on a new project starting today.
this morning, I signed in and had a meeting to get info on my new project. After the meeting, I check my bank account to see if I had enough money to order something and notice I had a bonus from the company. MFW.. So I asked one of my managers if there was a mistake and if it was supposed to go to someone else, and they said no. Of course, I said thank you and left it, but I STILL have no idea what it was for. https://youtube.com/watch/...2 -
We have a long time developer that was fired last week. The customer decided that they did not want to be part of the new Microsoft Azure pattern. They didn't like being tied to a vendor that they had little control over; they were stuck in Windows monoliths for the last 20 years. They requested that we switch over to some open source tech with scalable patterns.
He got on the phone and told them that they were wrong to do it. "You are buying into a more expensive maintenance pattern!" "Microsoft gives the best pattern for sustaining a product!" "You need to follow their roadmap for long term success!" What a fanboy.
Now all of his work including his legacy stuff is dumped on me. I get to furiously build a solution based on scalable node containers for Kubernetes and some parts live in AWS Lambda. The customer is super happy with it so far and it deepened their resolve to avoid anything in the "Microsoft shop" pattern. But wow I'm drowning in work.24 -
So... The client saw a screenshot of me calling him a 'mother fucking French fuck' which resulted in him backing out, our company bearing a loss of almost half a million and me getting suspended.
So how's your day been going?10 -
My previous boss disappeared for a week and didn't tell us why. We thought the team was gonna get fired because of him and I even started looking for a new job. The team got fired, but they kept me for some other work.4
-
!dev
I'm always somewhat pissed off since i don't have a developer job - barely even a tech job. I scan patient charts into pdfs > a server, and that's as complicated as my job description gets. i sit and scan. my computer is (supposed to be) nothing other than a display for managing the scanned charts.
what really killed me though is that one time, we got a new MFC because our old one was, well, obviously broken beyond their patience level. They told me i'd be "Helping".
I got to cut open the box.
whoop dee fucking doo. Tech assist of the century ladies and gents.
That being ine of the worst cases, there's always the times when they talk to their IT guy and never forget to call him an asshole after simply because they don't like it when they don't understand stuff. I've texted him a few times and he's actually very pleasant to talk with and does his job well. just grinds my gears
(and being the IT guy is not available as an alternative. the job is 1. obviously filled, and 2. I installed a word document password bruteforcer, which they in turn told the doctor who told the IT guy and made it sound like i had developed it - of course, this being a pretty professional clinic, he suggested i get fired. so now any hope of me actually doing what I love there is pretty hopelessly out of my reach>2 -
When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.
A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.
I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.
Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.1 -
Do you have a ‘Drama Queen’ on your team?
This happened last week.
DK = Drama Queen
DK: “OMG..the link to the document isn’t working! All I get is page not found. I’m supposed to update the notes for this project…and now I can’t! What the _bleep_ and I supposed to do now?!...I don’t understand how …”
This goes on for it seems 5 minutes.
Me: “Hold on...someone probably accidently mistyped the file name or something. I’m sure the document is still there.”
DK: “Well, I’ll never find it. Our intranet is a mess. I’m going to have to tell the PM that the project is delayed now and there is nothing I can do about it because our intranet is such a mess.”
Me: “Maybe, but why don’t you open up the file and see where the reference is?”
DK: “Oh, _bleep_ no…it is HTML…I don’t know anything about HTML. If the company expects me to know HTML, I’m going to have to tell the PM the project is delayed until I take all the courses on W3-Schools.”
Me: “Um…you’ve been developing as long as I have and you have a couple of blogs. You know what an anchor tag is. I don’t think you have to take all those W3 courses. It’s an anchor tag with a wrong HREF, pretty easy to find and fix”
DK: “Umm…I know *my* blog…not this intranet mess. Did you take all the courses on W3-Schools? Do you understand all the latest web html standards?”
Me: “No, but I don’t think W3 has anything to do the problem. Pretty sure I can figure it out.”
DK: “ha ha…’figuring it out’. I have to know every detail on how the intranet works. What about the javascript? Those intranet html files probably have javascript. I can’t make any changes until I know I won’t break anything. _bleep_! Now I have to learn javascript! This C# project will never get done. The PM is going to be _bleep_issed! Great..and I’ll probably have to work weekends to catch up!”
While he is ranting…I open up the html file, locate the misspelling, fix it, save it..
Me: “Hey..it’s fixed. Looks like Karl accidently added a space in the file name. No big deal.”
DK:”What!!! How did you…uh…I don’t understand…how did you know what the file name was? What if you changed something that broke the page? How did you know it was the correct file? I would not change anything unless I understood every detail. You’re gonna’ get fired.”
Me: “Well, it’s done. Move on.”9 -
I just had a chat with the CEO (I'll call him John) of the company I work at. I was trying to get a real alignment on what I need to do to be a valuable resource to this company. They promoted me (without a raise in pay) to a different (management) role, and I do not know what I need to do to be the best in this role.
During the discussion, the CEO failed to provide any usable metrics, or a way to track those, except for phrases like "higher productivity" and "higher quality". How to track? No idea.
So, at this point, me being the idiot I am, wanted to make things explicit:
*Me: Okay, so what if I request for a 20% raise six months from now, what metrics will you look at to decide whether to give me the raise.
(My last raise was a big one, more than 100% or so, more than a year ago. That was a dev role, and I was paid 2 cents earlier, so the doubling to 4 cents wasn't really a big deal.)
John went on a long rant on how people just expect raises every year, inflation, etc. All good and fine.
But then he mentioned something strange.
*John: ...and you know, for the last three years, there has been a race to retain resources. During this race, many companies, including us, had to pay people WAY MORE THAN THEIR VALUE to retain them. These people are going to be the first to be fired during cost-cutting as they are the most expensive resources at the company without any proven value. These people should not expect raises to come soon, and if they do expect that, they need to prove the value themselves.
Now, I, being a simpleton, am wondering how is it fair for an organization to pay someone "more than their value" to retain them once so that they can just be fired two years later. How did the company decide the value of such employees to begin with?
And all this is ignoring the fact that in the company there are no metrics, no KPIs, and performance of a person is how much the CEO likes that guy. How TF the people who joined a year ago and never interacted with the CEO prove their worth?
Developers are building PowerPoints and configuring JIRA/Confluence/Laptops of Sales team, project managers are delegating management to developers and decision-making to the CEO, Technical architect is building requirements documents, Business Analyst is the same person as the QA team lead (and badly stretched), and the Release Manager is the Product Technical Admin that cannot write one sentence in English. And then we got 3.8 hours in meetings every DAY. Why TF are Dev Managers in "QA KPI Meeting"? Why are "developers" writing documentation on "How to create meeting notes at <company>"?
And, in this hell-storm, how does one really demonstrate one's value?14 -
Follow-up.
After getting fired last week, I went to the company today to take my papers, then the security guard asked for my government ID and refused to let me go the 5th floor to HR office, apparently because they had a meeting, then they had me waiting 20 minutes in the ground floor at the reception and when I asked if I could go to the bathroom he came in to the elevator with me and waited for me to get out to escort me back, I was so fucking furious by this point I just had it and told him who gave you the orders to take my gov ID and escort me everywhere like I'm a fucking maniac or a thief? Are you afraid of me breaking chairs or destroying offices or you think I'm gonna kill someone?
He then told me sorry sir but it's the orders, then I went to HR office and complained and called for the manager and she just came out with a bunch of BS, uhh I'm so sorry sometimes security can be a bit rude and what not.
SO YOU FUCKING MORONS THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER BE COMING TO THIS FUCKING COMPANY AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ONE GOOD IMPRESSION FOR 30 MINUTES? HOLY SHIT!!!
Never in my life have I seen such incompetence, I just kept getting shocked to the last minute. -
Story Time.
TL;DR - Because of Corporate PTSD, I replace the word "everyone/folks/guys" with "Team" when I'm addressing my colleagues, whether it be an e-mail or verbally (F2F/Zoom/GMeet).
In 2019, An office job I worked at, a new Vice President joined the company (the same one who told me he saw me in his dream).
We were required, on a daily basis, to form a circle and one-by-one everyone would out-loud say their yesterday's and current day's tasks updates.
So before the VP joined, everyone was free to initiate their turn however they wanted. Phrases like "Hey Everyone", "Good morning all" or "Hi All" was all around acceptable.
But the moment he started joining the stand-ups, he felt the need to change this phrase to a standard "Good morning Team". No other variations of this. Only and ONLY these three words.
Why you ask? Because saying Good morning is good manners and using the word "Team" strengthens the bond between co-workers and increases collaboration and creativity.
Some colleagues were bound to forget this and they did, which resulted in the VP blasting at everyone for doing so. He would show genuine rage over this, almost as if the company would go out of business because of us, not complying to do so.
Now imagine, you get up at 8 AM, get ready, commute, and get ready to speak for the standup and you get yelled at in front of everyone, FIRST THING before you start working.
Needless to say, it would kill everyone's spirit for getting their day started but nobody could speak up against him because obviously, he was the VP of the company then.
And oh yes, our CEO fired him 5 months after that because he (the VP) got slammed with a pedophilia-related lawsuit, by the parents of a 5-year old.6 -
So I need some advice from some fellow devs here...
I recently accepted a job offer at a new company and I'll be leaving my place of work for the last 11 years. I'm a senior level dev who comes from a place where software is more of a secondary function and the skills of my peers are very... Atypical of most software developers.
My interview was ok, but I passed the mark barely - in that they recognize I'm rusty and have some gaps to shore up, but have decided to give me an offer anyway. I'm taking a "step down" to enter in as a level below senior to get my foot in the door of a real tech company.
I've got myself convinced I'm setting myself up to fail, despite being told by people that work there that they encourage mistakes and that they wouldn't be offering me a position if they didn't think I'd be successful.
Is it typical to feel inadequate and worried you'll be fired prematurely for underperformance? I've had little to no experience in a fast paced tech job so I have little to refer to. I was a very high performer where I'm coming from, but that's hard to equate to where I'm going. It seems like classic "impostor syndrome".
I've not even started there yet but I'm terrified my anxiety will get the better of me before I even have my first day there. Anyone out there have any advice?
I'm excited for this new opportunity but I can't seem to shake the fear of the unknown.4 -
!rant
How easy is to get fired from a Dev job? 😛 I'm afraid of that happening every time I introduce a bug lol4 -
I have had this job for 2 years - my first real job. It has been very very stressfull for the last 6 months and it feels like everything is falling apart in the company. It's a small work place with only 6 people in total.
A week ago my boss wanted a meeting and I got a feeling on what the subject may be. I was right about my thought. I was being fired because he feels like everything is falling apart mainly because of me. Though, I don't feel the same way, I think more it's the whole team that failed.
But the most weird part. I'm getting fired, I then have 3 months left, though, he says that I can in those 3 months show my value for the company, and if he thinks that I again have value, I can stay.
Who the hell fires an employee and right after says, you can stay if you prove your value? I don't really feel welcomed here anymore.
My motivation have drastically fallen the last week and I'm just sinking more and more. Maybe it's a good thing to get away and get a new job that values me and doesn't stress me the hell up.
I've been the only developer for over half the time here and I can feel that.
I just had to get out with this, so thanks for reading my small rant about my shitty life :)8 -
That time you think you found your dream dev job...
But they really just needed a content entry person so the other dev could add 'senior' to his title and work on all the new fun projects, while you're stuck fixing IE7 bugs in his code from 3 years ago.
He used prototype instead of jQuery.
You try to tell them about responsive design, but they think everything needs a separate mobile version.
You spend half the day learning his custom functions to a cms he built 2 years ago, and he's in the process of rebuilding a new cms from the ground up, so you have to learn the new version too.
Was fired 3 days before my birthday, and didn't get my company gift, even though I contributed to every one else's gifts.
Fired 2 months before birth of my child so lost my insurance.
After my time there... They now build responsive, they now use jQuery for everything. I also showed them how to do IE testing with virtual box, instead of them using the secretary's computer.7 -
Before I became a Computer Engineer, (actually, this job is where I learned I loved programming) our manager would pull us into a team motivational meeting.
Except she was a bit of an airhead, so her idea of motivation was having a sing-song and listing our favorite movie quotes.
It was even funnier because there was lots of drama surrounding "how she became our manager," and one of our teammates felt as though she should have gotten the job.
Anyway, none of those were the most ridiculous meeting.
The most ridiculous meeting was when the VP of marketing came to town from Florida to address the brewing drama.
In this meeting, all of my teammates suddenly had the delusion that we were in a union and thought they were protected from getting fired. They threw our manager under the bus. I was the only one who could see that he was there to see if our department was worth saving. They thought they were going to get rid of our manager by shitting on her, but they were just confirming his suspicion that there was a bunch of bullshit going on all around.
So I approached the VP after the meeting, and long story short, I was the only one who got through layoffs with a job offer in Florida a couple weeks later.
I didn't take it, because by that time I decided I wanted to go to school for Computer Engineering.1 -
My company hired a new person on my team. He was scheduled to start on a Monday but pushed back a week at the last minute. The rumor around the office was that his flight home that weekend was canceled, but he didn’t notify our boss of it until minutes before he was expected in.
Next Monday he didn’t come in, and no one could get in touch with him. We eventually discovered that he was in jail. He claimed he was pulled over on the way to work for a traffic violation, then found out he had an outstanding warrant from a traffic ticket mix-up over ten years ago. Unsurprisingly, when he did make it in later that week, he was immediately fired.
I’m wondering how reasonable it was to fire him. A responsible, organized friend of mine also got in trouble from a traffic ticket she was never notified of, so I know his story isn’t impossible and doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. On the other hand, missing your start day because you’re in jail is never a good look — doubly so after he pushed back his start date the first time. My company has a very open culture so I would have some room to encourage us not to put inappropriate weight on what is often a very flawed legal system.6 -
First week of being self employed is going well. I’ve clearly learnt from the best start ups out there
Ashleigh: Ashleigh, you’re a shit dev you can’t meet deadlines
Ashleigh: Well you’re a shit manager Ashleigh, you don’t listen to any of the dev
Ashleigh: Well fuck you I quit
Ashleigh: you can’t quit you’re fired
Ashleigh: you can’t fire me, I’ve dissolved the company so you’re redundant
Ashleigh: yea well I’m Ganna take this up with HR
Ashleigh to HR: dear Ashleigh, I’m being harassed by Ashleigh
Ashleigh at HR: sorry Ashleigh, as a start up we don’t have a HR department so we can get away with harassment and grievances. All the best, Ashleigh.
Client: hi Ashleigh, Ashleigh said she’d have it finished by today
Ashleigh: hi client Ashleigh, we’ve had to let Ashleigh go, we’ll update you once we’ve found a replacement Ashleigh
Ashleigh: Ashleigh ashlrigh ashlrigh alscbuddjdhsgs
Sorry I’ve had 553 ml of monster :D think I’ve gone mad...8 -
Boss:
Here's an email from a customer who has a report that isn't showing the right data.
It pulls from one application that we've never heard of, and communicates with another application that we've never heard of.
The customer fired their IT team years ago, and can't get in touch with them anymore.
You're a programmer, so we're giving you access to their network so you can fix it.
Please hurry.2 -
Got pulled out of bed at 6 am again this morning, our VMs were acting up again. Not booting, running extremely slow, high disk usage, etc.
This was the 6 time in as many weeks this happened. And always the marching orders were the same. Find the bug, smash the bug, get it working with the least effort. I've dumped hundreds of hours maintaining this broken shitheap of a system, putting off other duties to keep mission critical stations running.
The culprits? Scummy consultants, Windows 10 1709, and Citrix Studio.
Xen Server performed well enough, likely due to its open source origins and Centos architecture.
Whelp. DasSeahawks was good and pissed. Nothing like getting rousted out of bed after a few scant hours rest for patching the same broken system.
DasSeahawks lost his temper. Things went flying. Exorcists were dispatched and promptly eaten.
Enough. No consultants, no analysts, and no experts touched it. No phone calls, no manuals, not even a google search. Just a very pissed admin and his minion declaring blitzkrieg.
We made our game plan, moved the users out, smoked our cigs, chugged monster, and queued a gnu-metal playlist on spotify.
Then we took a wrecking ball to the whole setup. User docs were saved, all else was rm -r * && shred && summon -u Poseidon -beast Land_Cracken.
Started at 3pm and finished just after midnight. Rebuilt all the vms with RDP, murdered citrix studio (and their bullshit licenses), completely blocked Windows 10 updates after 1607, and load balanced the network.
So what do we get when all the experts are fired? Stabbed lightning. VMs boot in less than 10 seconds, apps open instantly, and server resources are half their previous usage state. My VMs are now the fastest stations in our complex, as they should be.
Next to do: install our mxgpu, script up snapshots and heartbeat, destroy Windows ads/telemetry, and setup PDQ. damn its good to be good!
What i learned --> never allow testing to go to production, consultants will fuck up your shit for a buck, and vendors are half as reliable over consultants. Windows works great without Microsoft, thin clients are overpriced, and getting pissed gets things done.
This my friends, is why admins are assholes.4 -
So my colleagues and I are somewhat great friends. (As in my first rant, I'm a practical evil joke guy). Since our boss thinks we are working on the production server (in reality, he commissioned it to be done in 4 months time. We all got it done in a month.), we get our own little room in the building, each time one of us walks in, we greet each other with a nice "go fuck yourself". Not to be mean, but just as a joke.
I decide to leave the room to go get a drink and I said I would be back. Guess who wants to see the dev team to see where they are on production? Not our boss, the fucking CEO. This isn't a big company, but this definitely was not expected.
So, he walks in and greets the team. He gets greeted with "Go fuck yourself".
I come back to see my team outside, and the CEO asking me why they said that. So after 15 minutes of ass ripping, the CEO leaves, our jobs barely intact, and I get to talk with the team about why we have to be nice to our superiors.3 -
So we have this one dude in our team. Mid level engineer. 7 months old in the company. Arguing with everyone. Doesn't listen to the leads. Wants to do stuff in his own way. Complains about everything. First I thought he knows he stuff. But the. I realized he just wants to disagree with everything. Also thinks that all the work he did in his last job is superior. But most of the things are not following standards. Looks like he is just full of himself. How to deal with a person like that? Will he get fired eventually?7
-
Our team really needs some workflow arrangement, and this time it was me who screwed up.
So we have to push an update to the Play Store and the App Store the Friday, the app is well tested on test environment then production environment, we got the ok so I uploaded a build, the app management team then continued the process of publishing..
During the weekend the app was approved and live to almost 500k user that can receive the update.
I got a phone call from the Project Manager at almost midnight, the time was really suspicious so I answered.
- Me: Hello.
- PM: Hi, sorry to call you now but the app is live and we have a problem.
- Me: what kind of problem? Let me check.
So I updated the app on my phone and opened it while I am on call.. I almost had heart attack!! WE PUBLISHED A VERSION POINTING TO THE TEST ENVIRONMENT. Holly shit
- Me: shit call the app management team NOW.
Eventually we removed the app from sale (unpublished it) and we submitted a new version immediately, once it was approved the next day we made the app available again (so for those who didn’t update yet, there will be no update to a faulted version, and no new users landing to a version with test data), I received one or two calls from friends telling me why the app is not on the store (our app is used nationally, so it’s really important).
Thank God there was no big show on twitter or other social media.. but it’s really a good lesson to learn.
I understand this is totally my fault, thankfully I didn’t get fired 😅4 -
Me: “We should use WordPress so the marketing person doesn’t have to wait weeks to get on our dev schedule to make simple edits.”
Boss: “You’re fired for even suggesting we use WordPress. We are more pure than this.”
Me: *leaves company*
3 years later, company uses WordPress after boss who fired me is also fired.13 -
When you look through your team’s custom protocols to figure out which one you need, and someone has not only made a massive typo, they then DOUBLED DOWN on the typo and made a bunch of dependencies based on that typo.
As in, the word “downloadable” spelled three completely different ways, and EACH ONE is treated like a different class with its own attached dependencies.
AND THE COMMIT MESSAGE ATTACHED IS “lots of cool stuff.” HOW IS THAT A COMMIT MESSAGE? WHICH ONE DO I USE?!
I’m never finishing this ticket, I’m going to get fired, etc. 😡😡😡😡😡1 -
So I need to let off some steam, let me know if you think I need to calm down. Personally I'm just having a hard time understanding my team lead.
So I've been trying to update our codebase for the past two months so we run tests against the latest versions of each respective major browser. I've also been trying to cleanup our code and split it into logical modules.
Need I add, according to Bitbucket, I've written over 80% of our code on our 4 projects with 4 team members including myself.
He's out for a week, so I decide it's fine time to get some work done -- which is ridiculous in itself. I finish, add unit tests for crap I missed because he kept shutting down my PRs for shit he couldn't understand.
He tells me on Friday, when he got back, that he'll be declining my pull requests because my code is too complex -- my team lead -- thinks list comprehension and OOP in Python is too complex. Doesn't understand why we need to have pep8 lint tests, or why we can't just export one giant monolithic client package with over 3k lines of code.
Is it worth arguing or should I just let my department head know I can't work on this team anymore? He won't get talked to or fired, he's been at my company for 6 years and he's in the inner circle.6 -
Time for a REAL fucking rant.
io_uring manpages say you can set the CAP_SYS_NICE capability to allow SQPOLL to work. You can't, you still get an operation not permitted errno result.
Why? I checked, it says 5.10 mainline is required. Pretty sure I just manually downloaded and installed the Deb's myself. uname reports that I am at 5.10. So what gives?
Maintainer submitted a patch because they fucked up and made the *actual* capability check look for what's basically root permissions (CAP_SYS_ADMIN... c'mon...) and is now trying to rectify a glaring security shortcoming.
Patch hasn't been accepted or even addressed yet but they already updated the manpages with the estimated mainline kernel release as if it had made it into the release candidate. Manpages have made it into latest debs but the actual change has not.
Where the fuck is the Linus Torvalds that would ream the fuck out of shitty developers doing shitty things? The political correctness climate has discouraged such criticism now and the result... this. This fucking mess, where people are allowed to cut corners and get away with it because it would hurt their feelings when faced with pressure.
I'm not just guessing either. The maintainer has already said some of the "tone" of criticisms hurt his feelings. Yes, sorry, but when you claim 90% speedup over a typical epoll application using your new magical set of syscalls, and nobody can even get 1-2% speedup on a similar machine, people are going to be fucking skeptical. Then when you lower it to 60% because you originally omitted a bunch of SECURITY RELATED AND CORRECTNESS CHECKING CODE, we're going to call you the fuck out for fudging numbers.
Trying to maintain the equivalent of academic integrity within the computer science field is an exercise of insanity. You'd be fired and shunned from publishing in journals if you pulled that shit in ANY OTHER FUCKING FIELD, but because the CS scene is all about jerking each other off at every corner because the mean people keep saying mean things on Twitter and it hurts your feelings therefore we're all allowed to contribute subpar work and be protected from criticisms when others realize it's subpar.
These aren't mistakes anymore, it's clear you're just trying to farm clout at Facebook - maybe even FOR Facebook.
Fuck you. Do it right, the first time. Sick of shitty code being OK all of a sudden.2 -
On chat today.
Dude: can you run a script for me? We don't have permission.
Me: what kind of script? Who wrote it?
Dude: posts screenshot of DML select/update statement he tried to run.
Me: I'm a DBA. We don't run DML for people.
Dude: Oh. Can you give me the password?
Me: examine script and notice he tried to run it on QA DB.
Me: No. We don't memorize passwords, and this is QA; you need to check the password out of the safe. You also need a change ticket to DevOps, and they will run it for you.
At that point I ended the discussion, because running anything in QA or Prod without a change ticket gets you fired. And I like my job. Really annoyed.3 -
I don't get people..
He is a good person and and realy tries..
Tries what?! To annoy coworkers that have to fix every single thing he does?!
Some people will justify anything with 'he is a nice person and tries hard'. WTF?!
So if someone is a nice person, likes to talk a lot, has 'good' social skills but writes crappy code he doesn't test at all.. or tests and see that it's glitchy and still doesn't fix it.. so he is a good worker for that?! Dafaq?!
So if he is a 'lovable' person, he deserves to be here, doing more damage than helps.. he deserves to have a job, with same pay (or even more) than me?! WTF?! How?!
Why is this ok?! If we were heart surgeons and he killed a person or two due to lack of skills or negligence, what would happen?!
He'd get fired on spot!! Why can't it be the same with devs?!
Why on fucking earth do we need to put up with people who try their best and fail?! Especially if their best is lowest of all, lower than the 'I don't give a fuck, just doing sth so the boss stops nagging'?!
Fuuuuuuuu!!!!
But ok, some people are not cut out for some work, I get it.. but why the fuck do other people justify that with 'he tries'?! Dafaq?!
Maybe next time 'I'll try' to perfom brain surgery on you..and you'll end up a fuckin plant.. is that ok with you?! I'll be trying (not really) and do my best (well I will try not to use a chainsaw when cutting open your head).. will that be ok with you?!
Fuck!!5 -
Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.6 -
I once ran a batch import job to stress test with much more data than usual in staging... so I thought.
I sshd into prod by accident. History search can be a bastard at times...
The moment I realized what I was doing was crazy. I was shivering and thought I get fired if anything went wrong.
fortunately I just duplicated the original data for the test, and the system was built to ignore unnecessary updates... so the data was correct and nothing went wrong.
Not an active stupid dev choice but still something I will remember for a while. -
Guess who got fucking fired. They want someone more experienced. Well fuck off. Its no wonder why there are no front end developers in your company. Now until the end of this month I have to find some job because of bills.. Going to try freelancer and check a couple of companies in my area. Any tips on how to get a freelance job?9
-
The story of how I got my dream job.
I was working for a company with a job I got just after graduating university. It was ok, not very exciting tech but I learned a lot by just surrounding myself with professional code monkeys. I was there for about a year when my company bought parts of another company and there was talk about people getting fired. This made me worried since I was the last one to get hired, so I started looking around for other jobs. I received this e-mail from a company saying they were looking for interns, what a coincidence! I adjusted my CV and sent it in.
--A few weeks pass--
It's Friday and I'm at a dinner party, it's 10pm and someone is calling me. I pick up and it's a recruiter from this company. I get very nervous but the alcohol helps me keep my cool, I pass the initial idiot test and they invite me for an interview. Yay!
I go to work on Monday and in a 1-on-1 and I tell my boss about the upcoming interview, he gives me a high-five :)
The interview is approaching and I'm feeling that I'm about to get sick, I refuse to believe this so I start taking a lot of medicine (painkillers, cough medicine etc.). I feel a bit better and thank the gods for medication.
--D-day--
I wake up, put on my nicest clothes and get on the train. I had one hour to spare just in case, which was well needed because the fucking train is late by 30 minutes. I'm still heavily medicated because of my ongoing fever. When I arrive I basically have to run there and somehow I manage to pick up a coffee on the way there which I devour in two seconds. I'm ready for the interview!
Some guy meets me in reception and the first thing he says is "My colleague doesn't speak our language so we'll have to speak english". This is fine, I speak good english but I was not prepared for this so it caught me off-guard and made me even more nervous. We get in and start talking. Things are going OK despite my numbed brain. I try to make eye-contact to make a good impression with the foreign engineer but he keeps staring somewhere which is making me nervous.
We get to the technical part on a whiteboard and this is where my brain decides to stop communicating. I'm presented a simple task which I'm struggling with finishing, and I feel the embarrassment coming over me. "NOOOOO THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!" I'm thinking to myself. After making myself look like a complete arsehole for some time we wrap it up and just before I step out the door I say to the engineer "You should checkout my Github page, I have lots of interesting stuff there" and he says "I'll be sure to do that" but I don't believe him.
I leave the office in fury (of myself) and make my way to the train station and even though it's the middle of the day I quickly devour two beers to calm my nerves and make me feel a bit better. I was so damn disappointed in myself, I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime! I go back home to my regular (now shitty) job.
--Two days later--
I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the phone and it's the same recruiter guy. "So how did you think it went?" he says. "To be honest, I think it went really bad", I replied. "What? Really? Because they loved you, you got the job". (this was an obvious recruiter lie) "... wat, are you sure you called the correct person?" I said and he just laughed. The day after I quit my old job the whole department gets fired - such impeccable timing.
--A few months later--
I finish my internship and they want to keep me. I'm so happy. The engineer that was in the interview works on my team. I ask him "Why did you hire me? You know as well as I do that my interview was horrible". It turns out he _did_ look at my Github profile and that's how he knew I could write code. I also heard later that for my position there was about 2000 applicants and somehow I made the interviews.
I still work there today and I couldn't be happier (Sorry for the long text).3 -
When you and your superior get done with a project, and your superior almost gets fired so he's panicked and you're like "SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!"
Previously:"Come on man!! 20 minutes adventure, in and out." -
- be any programmer hired to a job
- do some cool thing that helps the business
- gets labeled as a smart programmer and a helpful team member
- get questions and cries of help from everyone at the office
- get burnt out and refuse to help some people
- get labeled as lazy, bad at my job, and having a bad attitude
- gets shadow fired
- cycle repeats
It’s time to burn down the houses of every rich person - and I hope we actually fully commit this time :)10 -
Blabbering co-worker rant.
So this bonker who speaks non-stop for 15 minutes without even a breather break is more annoying than I thought.
1. She used to work for a project A and then they moved her to my project. She kept cribbing she wants to continue working on A because that's where her expertise are. So management hired a new team member so she can continue on A and new member can work with me.
Now next week, the new member is joining us. As we prepare the onboarding plan, bonker comes crying that she wants to work on my project and NOT on Project A. She is forcing us to give Project A to new team member.
Manager upfront rejected her proposal and told her that she'd be working on A.
2. She literally gives orders. Her tone is rude and blunt. The other day ordered me to review her presentation and kept following up even when I said I was busy. Same tone and attitude with manager.
Then she complained about my behaviour saying I was a bossy person even when I used the most polite tone (because I have actively worked on and built my social skills).
3. Knows shit about the product, has no skill set, asks the same question 10 times, and isn't able to deliver bare minimum.
And then evidently everyone follows up with me because I am on top of everything (because I have to as bonker can't function).
4. She lied to me that company gives good hikes and easy promotions.
She was kicked out of her previous project because of her incompetency.
Fortunately or unfortunately, my manager saved her ass. But she literally is the most stupid person I have worked with me in my entire career.
5. She has no communication skills, something that is highest valued skill in my profession. And when I do my normal, it pisses her off. She keeps complaining that I am overstepping.
If I don't then product will just fall apart and everyone might get fired because of no work.
And that is causing her insecurities and she starts fear mongering about both of us being fired.
I told our manager upfront that I want to lead the product and she was more than happy about the proposal. What sucks is that my manager is leaving this month end and I'll have to build trust with my new line manager.
Ugh!! She is annoying..8 -
It wasn't me in the interview and it wasn't really an interview at all but here we go. I worked for a pretty shit company this past summer as a paid internship and while I was there they fired a Dev because he complained about how he didn't get a BMW i8 and they had to hire new help. So instead of doing a regular interview what they did was call people in and just have them work. Like no joke from 7-4pm they just did the job the didn't get yet. They also expected them to know how to work in there system. It was a WordPress development company and they had custom plugins and themes that they just expected people to know.
Also they said they would pay them for their work but I don't think they did, there were maybe 8 different people over a week who probably just worked for free.1 -
A guy with a pretty fucked up aggressive personality.
At that point I already had ...more than a few issues with bald headed aggressive men for other reasons.
So from the beginning I was very wary around him... And his behaviour - sweet talking while you could _feel_ the knifes raining down your neck - made me even more defensive. I avoided him like the plague.
But for better or worse I became his supervisor. I had to work with him.
He made it very evident what he thought of having me as a supervisor - from day one there were very non subtle hints.
Every question turned into a discussion... Every discussion turned into screaming... Every screaming from his side turned into me leaving the room. I've had my anger issues and I don't tolerate such behaviour.
The tip of the iceberg was not only his behaviour, but also his limited knowledge.
He worked > 15 years in the company, me 2.
Guess that played a role, too.
But his knowledge was somewhere between junior to average.
Some of the tasks exploded not only in time because of all the rage tantrums he had - but more because he didn't solve them properly, despite given clear guidance.
Since at that time it was obvious that he either quits or will get fired, we had to look at previous projects.
It wasn't pretty - to state it in a polite way.
Non polite way: A shitfest of the worst kind possible.
All in all - he didn't quit.
Nearly half a year later he had to be fired.
Company couldn't fire him earlier for various (eg law) reasons.
But damn he made that time a living hell.
Rarely a day without screaming, door slamming, discussions that went like "I've checked all my literature, what you're saying is wrong." (without stating what literature, the discussion just turned round and round...) and so on...1 -
F*CK...that feeling when you were working as a junior UI/UX designer for about 3 weeks in new company, you were on a project which is almost finished and delivered...
1 and half week Later (after technical issues - check my older rants)......
you have noticed one quite importat mistake in the designs, which were done by senior designers, which can lead in future to a huge Ux problems - so huge, that users will probably leave/close the app and will not purchase the product via that app... ( We can say than whole design solution was a waste of money for the client)... On that designes was working a team of 4 people, about 3 Months (and the app (prototype) had to be ready already 2 Months back)...
the deadline was pushed 2x already...
And your boss (senior designer) tell you that this is not such an issue.. But thx for your opinion.....
1 week Later by user testing 4 out of 4 people were asking about that stuff I told to my boss that is missing...
And I was ignored...
In less than 1 week Later after the testing I get fired from the company without no reason...
Or better - the reason was:
I have too little experiences for this job...
Dont know if I should laugh or cry🤦♀️🤣/😭8 -
True story, honest to god.
Developed a state or the art SOA web app. Front end communicates with backend through API.
Client meeting, this guy looks me right in the eyes and blurts out : « why does the submit button get disabled after first click ? Clicking it a few times gets my request high priority »
I folded back my laptop and left the meeting without saying a word. Pretty sure I’m getting fired tomorrow.5 -
Boss(In company chat): Guys we only need 100 votes to win this award.Do vote and also push your friends and family to vote.
Me: git push -f origin master
Boss: I'll see you tomorrow.
Me: git reset HEAD --hard.
(I think I am gonna get fired)1 -
I am working on a project that integrated with Microsoft Dynamics. The D365 team changes the data and API too often. I keep munging the data over and over so that it fits view models.
Yesterday I had a technical discussion with someone that the company installed to coordinate building technical solutions that get shared between projects. This is a problem across all of our Dynamics projects and is a technical one than needs coordinated approach.
The management heard that I am “doing repeated work because the data isn’t stable.” So they decided that it must be a problem with the project manager. The executive decides to use it as a reason to fire him. Which shows me that I can’t talk to even a technical person without risk of project chaos.
After the conversation but before the firing I get an offer letter from another company. I plan on taking it to get away from this crazy company. The project is going to lose their key web developer and also the project manager.
This executive seems to love firing project managers. My other project is on its third PM. My trust for the upper management is basically gone. I can’t even discuss the technical hurdles with a technical person without someone getting fired. I’m so ready to be out of this zoo.
The only downside of leaving is that I won’t have as many stories to tell on devRant.1 -
Finished my on call rotation. Coworker is still on a call for 10 hours. She's not on call. I might be getting on this call. For the sake of the idiots who didn't listen and broke it worse, I really hope I don't have to take over for her. I might get fired tonight...5
-
Got fired today. For unprofessional behavior and insubordination. Neither of which are true. Someone in her general vicinity tell Natalie to get fucked.8
-
A few weeks ago a client came to us asking for edits on their site. They had a developer in their office but they fired him a few days prior. After some looking at the piece of garbage they called a website I told my supervisors that it was built in Adobe Muse and from what I could find in a few quick searches it's shit and I didn't want to learn to use a shit tool. Apparently as a company we decided to hire a freelancer to handle this despite the fact that we didn't build the site and the client isn't paying for maintenance so I'm not sure why it's our fault.
Fast forward to today:
I've been in the office for 19 hours straight trying to learn how to use Muse and fix the client's site because somehow the freelancer managed to delete the mobile version of the site. When I ask my supervisors why I'm fixing and supporting a site we didn't build and don't have experience working in and the response is: we're presenting the client with a $50k proposal and we need all the good graces we can get.
Unless I'm gonna see some of the commission it doesn't really matter what we charge for the site, I make the same whether it's a free site or a $100k site.2 -
I've been thinking about how to answer this for a while, but I'll approach it from a different angle. The time I (nearly) lost faith in my dev future wasn't because of a technology, bad programming language or an external influence. It was *me*.
The first job I had after the PhD, I was (in the first couple of weeks) tasked with updating various packages on a live Redhat server. "No problem", I thought, "I've done this before many a time on Debian, easy as pie!"
Long story short, I ended up practically bricking the server because I mistyped and uninstalled something I shouldn't have, didn't understand a piece of configuration, then tried to bodge it back and cocked things up further. Couldn't even log in via SSH, the hosting company had to be called, a serial connection set up, etc.
To say I was mortified, embarrassed and had my pride dented would be a massive understatement. I seriously thought I'd get fired on the spot, and that I should perhaps change careers to something where I couldn't cock things up as much.
...but you can't think like that, otherwise the world leaves you behind. So I picked myself up, apologised profusely, took some relevant training, double checked everything I was doing on that server in future and got back to work. After a few months of "proving myself", it was then seen as nothing more than a rather amusing story, and I became a senior dev there a couple of years later.1 -
Worked alongside lead dev who was also a contractor. The lead dev made a lot of demands on the codebase, and I managed to work around their demands, but at the expense of more progress. They were fired out of nowhere just recently, and oh wait, they never wrote a single line of code this whole time and the budget can't get us another contractor now. I am going to lose my mind on this contract and I'm pulling my first of many all-nighters right now, wish me luck.10
-
Sooo...
Got Fired...
By the same fucking company who is responsible for my burn out.
Should I be Happy or Sad? No matter how I loved the company I can only expect more abuses... On the other hand, If I made a few complaints, I couldn't get fired now...
Anyhow...
This weekend (can't remember the day, It was the day I took two victans, 20's beers and the same join I would smoke in a whole week ... (It worked, so...) I posted lots of really bad shit on facebook about the company... true Shit, but you know... Truth doesn't matter.
Today got a letter ending my contract on the term of the current one... less than one month from now.
So.... Lets See...
At least this pushes the time I have to start making Apps to get some money.
Just lacking the energy and will...5 -
How do you guys/girls explain to potential new customers that you can perfectly work in a structured business environment and follow the rules, but also that you're assertive enough to oppose desicions being made based on bias, misunderstanding, fanboyism, or grave stupidity.
I just got informed from a freelance position that they would have hired me if it were not for my 'rebellious nature towards customers'
I don't oppose customers, i oppose stupidity unfounded.
Example from experience
> me working in a helodesk support position, all windows computer.
> new mgr comes into office, is a douche and complete mac fanboy
> wants all computers that are FINALLY working decent for some time in the entire department replaced with mac's... Back at 2010.
> whole team, even disliking microsoft themselves, are telling mgr that's a bad, dangerously dumb idea, expensive too, different OS, different software mgmt making, back then integration microsoft and apple was beyond diarhea... Several other issues the senior devs and admins pointed out
>mgr: 'but aple is soh much better, like a billion times better, hurrduurrrrr'
His decision passed somehow to the board..
> All stations from our customers get changed...we don't get a single machine to try out problems because overspending
> we are most of the time unable to help out customers because we still have pc's...
> mgr asks team why performance drops after 1 month
> we compared performance graph with his starting date of mgr, see clear drop after mgr's plan implemented...
> board stilll stands by mgr, gets praise for 'bold changes in the company', but appears to be some associate's son
> two main seniors leave after 15 years of employment, in three months, 80% of staff leaves.
> we canr fix the problems, we are not dev's , we get shit from all sides, i was still a junior in the industry so i worked as a slave inside that job.
> eventually get fired due to 'bad performance'
> mgr loses entire team... 'Hey why don't we outsource this dept to south africa, it's a lot cheaper! '
now that company is an it hellhouse where everyone get clinically depressed from sitting atbtheir station...
This is what i wish to oppose!
How to make that clear!4 -
I noticed you can no longer uninstall Facebook apps from Samsung phones, only disable. Figured I would give 'disable' a try and see what it means. Apparently it means the icon will be gone but I will still get notifications, which I can click on the open the app. Whoever made this deal with Facebook should be fired from a mossy cannon using to much gunpowder.8
-
What kinda blockhead moron at my ISP decided that I require a new modem & router that is managed by THEM! I'm not really baffled by the privacy concerns but more about that I am unable to manage my home network. I literally cant open ports, manage ip adresses and do other shit I NEED FOR WORKING AT HOME.
I cant print!
I cant read mail!
I cant access my network drives!
My website is down!
Colleagues are asking why the Minecraft server is offline!
And using the new brick they gave me as a modem only, is not possible as there is no setting to be found to turn the router off!
And if I call their imbecile's of support they tell my that if they change a setting, that my phone will disconnect. (The phone line is also connected to the modem!) And right after the support guy said that and wanted to start explaing me further steps, his settings apply and I get kicked off the line. Bruh! You knew this would happen so why didnt you work around it?!?!?!!
Thing is, this new modem isnt even necessary as it doesnt use a different standard like fiber for example.
If I cant figure out how to get my stuff to work again, I swear to god I will turn on full Karen mode and ramble into their next store looking to get some manager fired!
(Ill post an update soon!)7 -
It wasn't exactly a meeting, just boss' boss coming into our office to ask about a feature. Went something like this (BB - boss' boss (or Big Bitch, whichever you prefer, Me, SP - second programmer) :
BB: Hey guys, I've got a question.
Me (without turning around since I was focused on whatever I was doing at the time) : Sure, go ahead.
BB: Could we do a country map where you would be able to click a region and get to a page with posts for that region?
Me (without pausing what I was doing) : Sure, easy. Html imagemap, or embedded flash if it's supposed to be fancy and animated.
BB: ...how would we do it?
Me (in exactly the same tone of voice, trying to mimic the same sound sample being played again) : Html imagemap, or embedded flash if it's supposed to be fancy and animated... Links leading to the same address as the filtering form for regions already goes. All that's needed is the map graphic.
BB: ...but how would we link to the correct results? Would we need to make new page for those?
Me: *sigh*
At this point SP stops doing whatever he was doing, proceeds to sit next to her by the whiteboard, and they proceed to talk about this for about 45 minutes, which to this day, I have no idea how they managed. I had no idea how they managed to stretch it for this long even as I was listening to them talking and drawing stuff on the whiteboard about it.
Afterwards, I've been reprimanded for not paying proper attention when important stuff was being solved, and a month later when I was being fired, I had been reprimanded for it once again.
Fuck that company. Fuck those people.
I have no idea how they managed to still not go bankrupt.15 -
Does anyone else get crippling fear anytime your boss wants a 1 on 1 meeting?
I always assume I'm getting fired and panic over it..even though so far that's never happened.12 -
Being called into a meeting where you get fired for an argument you had with your CTO. But the CTO left 6 months ago and the sales department are suspiciously low on deals in the pipeline...
Shame really, I loved that job and the Dev team was great, shame the directors were bastards.2 -
True story:
A guy worked at a company as a very important programmer.
No matter the assignment, he would get it done.
It turns out he played Internet games all day and had outsourced his work to a Chinese company for 10% of his pay.
And he had signed up at a second company and did the same thing there.
He was fired, but made a lot of money.4 -
I received a call from my boss saying I was laid off while I was out.
Wait a minute... I actually just woke up... This was all a dream...
Wonder if it is a message from my subconscious though...
Anyone else dream they get fired?5 -
That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.
Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.
😎✌️ -
Got my first legit side-gig as a developer (like had to write an SOW and everything): my kids' pediatrician is amazing, but shes switching to a concierge practice, meaning she wont take any insurance, and shes going from about 1500 patients down to about 200. I already pay my mortgage-worth in insurance on a monthly basis, so we were prepared to say adios to her. At my daughter's last appointment, she pulled me aside and said "what can we do to keep you guys as patients?" and i somewhat jokingly suggested "I dunno, need any websites written?"
As a matter of fact, she did: she just fired her practice's web developer, who gave her a shitty wordpress site and fought like hell to avoid any further maintenance or updates for her. She hates the site's current layout (no surprise there) so she is basically giving me full control over a rewrite.
No user logins, no worries about compliance with PII or any of that. Literally just turning a brochure wordpress site into an angular app, hosting it on her own server and eventually building an admin page where she can change the banner text and upload new images.
And my kids will get free, top-notch health care.1 -
Thoughts prior to feedback meeting, about how it's gonna go.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scenario one:
Supervisor: The shit is this? You call this a research work? Get the fuck out of here! You're fired and even your unborn kids are banned from coming into this institute ever again!
Me: *walks out sobbing* (dunno how one can walk out of a zoom meeting, but this is imaginary so who's counting?)
Scenario two:
S: Umm, good work. I just don't think it's presentable. Maybe come back in like a few weeks when you actually polish this into a "real scientific work".
Me: *sobs after meeting. Starts preping for seppuku cuz no idea where I'm headed with this work any further*
Scenario three:
S: nah man. This is no good. Let's start from the bottom. Like, start data collection from the beginning or something.
Me: *sobs and commits seppuku on the meeting.* (I just have a pen tho. Hope it has the same effect as a sword)
---------------------------------------------------------
There are other scenarios, but they all end up in me sobbing and/or committing seppuku in/after the meeting so yeah the drama is running high right now.11 -
Me: Why are we spending time building reports for Support? AFAIK they never read or use them.
Boss: Seems they expect you to do it.
Me: Then what exactly are they supposed to be doing? All the issues seem to just escalate back to us.... We should just make sure issues never get into PROD
Boss: I agree, they're always firefighting... we gave them more funding so eventually they should catch up **Me: I highly doubt it, you should just stop hiring monkeys** esp. if we prevent PROD issues.
Me: Yea... we should prevent production issues because someone always has to pay off the (technical) debt and interest rates in PROD are very high6 -
Sorry, is TL, but humbly think is worth to read.
Last Friday:
Coworker: Hey, our mail is being redirected to our client's spam folder. What did you do?
Me: Sorry, but I have no control over that.
Boss: I happened to me also. Something is wrong with our mail server.
Me: I'll check, but this is really out of my control.
Rushed to my station... domain blacklist check...Fuuuuuuuu! We been blacklisted! What in the fucking damn hell happened?????!!!
Mail server log check....Mmmm...WTF is this shit?
Devilish grin in my face....muahahahaaa! Your ass is MINE!
So, my "I know everything" new coworker ( https://www.devrant.io/rants/193238 ) used his account to send over 6300 messages a couple of times over a period of 4 hours. By our boss request we have no limit on our servers...
Gotcha! I'm going to get your ass fired!
(BTW: The pic is Gotcha the Cockatoo)4 -
Many advantages of being a dev:
- You can work on multiple projects simultaneously.
- You solve problems for a living, how cool is that!
- Job security (Even if you get fired or something, you can still earn your bread with your skills)
- Even if you are bed ridden or get in an accident or get old, you can still work(kind of a pessimist).
But the best part is, you get to do what you love(for me its true).1 -
The web is just a fucked up place. Anytime i have an idea and wanna slap together an mvp, i always feel like web standards are just made by people who have no professional training and once every year come up with some bullshit so they dont get fired.
Figure 1: cors
You wpuld think that setting "access-control-allow-origin" to * would let, well, * through, like in every other field of programming, but no, make sure all 97 other headers match or you will just get a cors error. The server expects application/json and you didnt specify that? Fuck you, have a cors error. Both express and flask have specific packages addressing this one problem so i guess im not the only one.
Figure 2: frameworks
Remember reactive programming? Remember rxjs? No you dont because all frameworks reimplement rx with shadow dom fuckery. Did you know you can have your fucking templates with 5 lines of rxjs code? Amazing huh?
Figure 3: php
It still exists for some reason.7 -
On Friday. Client and Project Managers arranged a meeting and wanted me to be there. Client said the meeting will be max 15 Minutes but it was around 2 hours. This client project was due the following week. I was happy because everything was done and excited that the client might be coming down to say how awesome the work was.
The table turned around. They came changed the designed and functionalities. The client said, it won't take long to do it, right? and my Project Manager said No! No! No! don't worry its very easy thing. It will take him around 1 day to do it, it's just all cosmetic changes.
It took me more than a week to get it done, test again, check on browsers. The client was pissed and they fired us. Guess who was blamed for it?1 -
Passive aggressive commit notes should be mandatory, such a good stress reliever and conversation starter.4
-
Fucking cant solve productivity problem. Since I was working as programmer, about 8-9 years experience, constant complaints about my productivity and some jobs even fired me for this. Only one job did not complain and I worked in it longest time but still I was worrying very often about my productivity. It is fucking annoying. Why others are productive and I am not. How the fuck to find biggest bottlenecks to know which to work on.
I know I am not knowing technology perfectly, and from time to time I get stuck and so I ask other people help, or somehow manage to find solution myself but it takes more time. But dont know if that is the biggest issue. Should I intecify my learning? I am regularly studying, and working with symfony about 2 years, so I think I should know enough to be productive even with those strugles from time to time. But maybe they are too often?
I have listened book "deep work" and basic thing I think from this is - to minimize disctractions and learn to focus very well. But to minimize like in this book, I should work alone in my room. And even then I would like each hour for few minutes to read some new or smth, which this book says is bad, but a lot of people do that and they somehow get away with it. Plus if I work alone in my room, my social skills might get worse, and we all need social skills, even programmers.
I so envy to others who know how to be productive. I would hate if the only thing to be more productive is to reduce quality of the code, make more bugs. THats fucking cheating system.20 -
I technically joined just after this guy left(fired) but the stories are to good to tell!
The guy was clearly off but It wasn't his fault he had to of had aspergers
He would demand! To write with two pens in one hand he said it was faster and the only way he could write neatly... (Nope)
I don't think it was to weird but he would put on music and play death metal stuff full volume, because he couldn't hear anyone the team used to make paper planes and fire them at him when they wanted his attention.
Another thing he was into furry ... Stuff but was super open about it had. Wolf's and shit like that on his desk and always had a wolf shirt.
But he was fired, he wasn't great at his job.
I came in to help sort out the mess it was the government's setup for servers and nurses and doctors computers for the NHS over in england.
He effectively skull fucked the entire system.
He magically (I to do day can not understand how) did forced updates and installed to a newer version of Windows servers the problem being the programs wouldn't work on newer windows at the time.
Most were on XP at the time and they used windows servers back then.
Luckily not nation wide just in my local area but still thousands of computers affected.
The issue became this ... You see they had this program on their computers that let them get patient documents and update etc
He removed code or added code that made it update all the laptops and desktops to a new service pack which they didn't want... Then he upgraded the servers to a new windows version I don't remember the specifics
But the updates and new version of Windows made it so the laptops etc couldn't communicate with the servers.
... The next day he got fired and I was brought in for a few weeks to help sort out the mess.
But apparently he was a super interesting guy but with way to many quirks.
It costs the tax payers a fortune! Literally a few million to sort his mistake out people were working round the clock for two weeks straight.3 -
The day tours would like be fired would be like:
Boss: how have you done that job?
Me: <<taking glitter from my pocket while i describe a arc>> It's Magic
Then you unlock the "you got epicly fired" achievement -
Thoughts on forced emergency support?
I am with a company I generally like a lot but there are some things I generally despise about it. Like forced emergency support.
I am not good at it, I don't claim to be.. I generally struggle with anxiety, stress and depression, I specifically avoid roles that require on-call service .. I'm a senior level software engineer.
I find it very frustrating to be expected to be on-call from 7-7 in support of infrastructure I did not architect, did not code and basically know nothing about. They provided me with a ten minute discussion about ops genie and where to find internal support articles for my training and that's about it.
Last night I received an ops genie alarm and acked it as I was instructed to do, I went around the system looking for the alarm cause and basically had no idea what to do except watch our metrics graphing praying there wouldn't be an outage. Fortunately the alarm was for our load balancer scaling operation, it was taking a bit longer than usual ... Sigh of relief. Stay up til 6am and fall asleep..
Wake up to a few messages from various people asking why I didn't do this and that and it took me every inkling of my being to remain cordial and polite but I really just wanted to scream and say a bunch of shit that would probably get me fired.
What the actual fuck?
Why expect someone that has no god damn clue what they are doing to do something like this? Fuckin shit training and no leadership to mentor me and help me get better at this role, no shadowing, no regiment ..
#confused and #annoyed
Thoughts? Am I a bitch? Is it unreasonable for me to expect my job duties stay in line with what I'm actually good at!?
Thanks.15 -
A more interesting related fact is that this Tuesday I got fired and it was the first occasion that an event that impacted my career didn't have tenfold the impact on my faith in my own abilities. In fact, I didn't even really feel responsible at all. They were clearly looking for a senior with low self-esteem.
Now I just have to figure out how I'll feed myself for four more months before I graduate and get a full-time job anywhere around London.4 -
Started new job almost two moths ago..
For almost 3 years I was developing custom themes, plugins, and widget for WordPress using PHP, jQuery/AJAX, and MySQL.
The new company that hired me brought me on as a backend developer to help rebuild their custom PHP Framework, and other web based software/products as their moving toward Google Cloud Platform.
When I started, MVC and OOP was new to me... took a couple weeks to get the hang of things, and understand their system.
Just when I was getting comfortable, I had a task assigned to me that was all NodeJS...
Had a 30 check-in the week I started the Node task, and was feeling pretty beat down because it was all new to me and I wasn’t making a lot of progress, and still not comfortable with Promises yet, and some other ES6 features but finding my way around slowly but surely.
Manager reassured me that I wasn’t going to be fired and it wasn’t unique to myself. Very encouraging to hear, but I’m my own worst critic so it’s frustrating not being able to make progress like I would with PHP projects.
Fast forward to this week, I started to review another task for a feed and found it’s all Ruby! Another language I have no familiarity with... and started to question if I’ll every get the hang of all these languages and be a solid team member...
Not only do I have to get a grasp on NodeJS and Ruby now, but then I’ll also have to get familiar with GCP and whatever else comes along with it...
Oh and I’m using Linux now instead of Windows/ OSX... so there’s that too.. plus the other command line tools the company built, and uses..
I was comfortable developing in PHP and know I needed to take a step and accept this job to move my career forward but it seems like I’m always behind the 8 ball...
Some days I wonder if it was worth staying a Wordpress developer and just focused on learning ReactJS and stay more Front-end than Backend..
I enjoy working with talented people but I don’t like being the low man on the totem pole knowing I don’t have the experience yet.
Does it feel like this for all devs?!?!14 -
idk why I'm so anxious about money... I'm not broke, I'm better than most people my age, ffs i have savings, but whenever i think of spending on sh*t i need i start thinking about what if i get fired, what if i have to move back with my parents, where do i put my cat???
wish my brain was doing better tbh7 -
After I received my laser eye surgery, I knew it would become painful after the effect of anesthesia would decrease so I got painkillers in advance.
It was nimesulide.
Even in 2008 ISDB raised a concern about the liver damage and asked for it to be withdrawn worldwide, but I didn't knew it.
So the terrible pain started and I took the pill. Just. One. Pill.
This all started in like fifteen minutes. Eye pain won't go away, but it didn't mattered anymore as I felt really terrible. I never experienced that kind of feeling before and I don't even know how to describe it. It felt like a terrible sensation inside my stomach mixed with an urge to vomit. "This is probably what a liver failure feels like. This is it, I'm going do die here", I remember thinking about as I collapsed.
This whole incident led to an investigation about why the doctors "forgot" to give me proper eye anesthesia drops. This got several doctors fired.
This all got me really interested in how different medications work. I started casually reading popular medical literature and when my depression came, I was prepared, as much as you can even get prepared to a mental disorder.
The thing that probably nearly killed me helped me not to lose my sanity later.4 -
Where can I get me some of this? Minus the firing and forgetting how to code.
"Programmer Automates His Job For 6 Years, Finally Gets Fired, In The Meantime Forgets How To Code"
http://techworm.net/2016/06/...3 -
So just saw an email from our team's vice manager about need to improve code quality by using some new system.
Well that set me off on a huge rant about all the issues I see in my team and what exactly needs to change... (just some new sytem he's pushing isnt going to help)
wonder if i might get fired... even though i m right...
And so much for my plan to update docs... I've forgot what I wanted to do...2 -
I got such a bad employer… oh, pardon me: committent-but-actually-employer-minus-the-responsabilities that I developed bruxism, rage bursts and chest pains due to anxiety.
Bright side 1: i quitted by saying them in their face “you don’t even fucking know what docker is and you claim to be an expert, get a fucking update”
Bright side 2: They failed a while… Oh wow much surprise, very unexpected considering that they fired the only dev with experience on the product and that they re-made the interface every other day making everyone’s job a miserable joke. Smart move, 10/10 would invest in them.
The “bright side” in this is mostly that I’m forced to accept I was a very valuable asset and shut up any imposter syndrome related to that bs work.
Bright side 3: It forced me to see someone which in turn forced me face some piled up shit, so I recently feel better and hate myself less!1 -
Why are clients so brain dead?
I've had a client insist for the last two weeks that I provide them with a high level technical specification for fucking OneDrive because our product is able to embed HTML inputted into the CMS.
I've literally had hours of meetings with over a dozen people where I'm trying to explain that just because they're embedding some PowerPoint HTML into our CMS doesn't mean we need to or even can provide technical documents.
This is a huge company with an equity of over £50 billion by the way. I swear the bigger the company the more incompetent the employees get.
Their whole issue stems from one guy not understanding how basic logins and file sharing permissions work + their IT doing security fuckery to screw up which machines can login or access what. So I made and sent them a flow diagram explaining it, out of some naive hope that they'll now leave me alone.
I still don't understand how any of this is my responsibility just because these idiots don't understand that our product is separate from the HTML they've decided to put into the CMS. I don't think any of these people know what they're asking me for when they keep insisting I send them technical documents for a Microsoft owned product that we have nothing to do with.
I'm sure I'll be stuck telling them to talk to their own IT team over and over again as they schedule meetings every few days until the heat death of the universe. Then I'll finally have peace. Either that or somehow one of them finds this post and I get fired.8 -
I just oversleeped...
Im not a dev yet, i have a contract job at the factory.
I have worked 1month already from 3 that i singned up for.
The worst thing is that i said i need a day off to give specific papers for my university. It was supposed to be today but i moved it tomorrow due to the problem with transport.
Well my superior is propably realy angry right now... On the bright side i will have 2 days off...
I wont get fired (hopefully) because as contract job they should only substracy the daily pay from my monthly salary.
This is my first time that im late for a real job. My intuition says that i should go but i wouldnt bear the shame... If i were to go i would be late minimaly 2 hours. I have no idea what to do... I will propably stay home and lose the daily payment because im not strong enough to bear the shame today. It would be very difficult to get in the company as well. Ahhhhh! Its difficult to make decisions when you are shy, lazy and scared.5 -
I once went to a client to get a brief for a website (the twat can't be bothered to write it, so he gets me to do it). I wrote all the details down and fired as many questions as I could. When I got back I wrote up the notes into a brief and sent it back to check before I costed it. He said it was spot on, so I sent an estimate. A few days later he must have shown it to another director, they both call me on speaker phone. Them: Will it do this, will it do that? Me: "It" doesn't exist, if you want to add some requirements then write or extend the brief and I will re-cost it.
They ignored that and rang a little later. Them: We have been discussing it, will it do .... and will it do.... Me: I repeated what I had said earlier, but my tone of voice had changed to reflect my annoyance. I never heard from these pathetic twats again. Moral: I always do background checks on a company, as well as accounts and financials check it's good to tap in to your network of colleagues, designers, freelancers. It can set the alarm bells going long before you commit any time. -
Technically couldn't get fired seeing as this was a schoolproject, but let's rant anyway!
So for a final assignment we had to create a WordFeud/Scrabble like game in Java with 7 others. We really got to know eachother and had a lot of giggles with the project.
At one moment one of us got bored and decided to photoshop the head of the person who's grading us unto one of the board tiles and we laughed and laughed...
...until we forgot to undo this during the demonstration >.> -
i don't understand how to do my assignment at work. i don't ask anyone. and i'm crying. gonna get fired soon lol5
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I have come up with a weight loss program with developers in mind. It involves scaring the crap out of your fellow developers while they work and play on a computer. When you are scared you expend a bunch of energy reacting to the scare. Any number of scare tactics can be employed. They can be surprise (jumping out), conversational (your fired type), screamer videos or programs, etc. The type of scare is up to you. Get creative.
I am calling this program: Boo-Lean
You can choose to use this program or not.5 -
If i always would say what i think during programming or Bug fixing some code, i probably get fired and moved to a anti Aggression Therapy
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When I wasn't a part of IT during the beginning I used to be working on Back office operations.
My team leader was such a motherfucking asshole!! He rarely ever worked, always came late and gave all his work to the asskissers in the team. He used to drink in his car during breaks and also leave before anyone. The only positive was he didn't give a shit about who took leaves and when.
Once he came to office drunk and warned me of getting me fired, which he never could. I probably felt like ripping him off then and there and escalating it to the HR.
I didn't. As Karma would have it, his manager changed and the moron had to get his team changed. -
Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.5
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I work at a company that sees front end developers as, basically, lab rats. I make less than my coworkers, who are all underpaid, and also turn out more clean code (based on mutual agreement, plus the only person who documents anything) than the rest of the team, and at much higher quantities.
Why? Because I get my ass handed to me by depression and anxiety every morning, and end up coming in ~1 hour late everyday. (For nearly a year now, even with medical intervention)
I'm probably going to be fired for it fairly soon, as well as get swallowed in medical bills.
On the bright side, I finally fixed a bug with my portfolio website that I've been working on, so I've got that going for me which is nice.2 -
Couple of the senior devs were reviewing some legacy service code, vilifying everything that was done. Too many files, not enough files, too many lines of code, etc. Standard Monday-Morning-Quarterback nonsense. Then they came across Thread.Sleep() in various exception handlers. The passive-aggressive -bleep- hit the fan. 'Idiot', 'Moron', "People don't know how to code..", etc. dog-pile rants for a good 5 minutes.
I thought "Code is only a couple of years old and had very little changes..I'll bet the original developer is still here."
So I look at the change history and sure enough the original developer was one of the dog-pilers, and the other dev changed the code just last year. Comments like "Major refactoring", "Increased Performance", etc and the changes were only removing comment blocks, and other stylecop suggestions. Oh...there was one change was Thread.Sleep(6000) to Thread.Sleep(1000). I guess that did technically "increase performance"
Would I get fired if I said "Shut the -bleep- up you -bleep-ing -bleep- heads" ? Hmm...probably. Better keep my opinions on devrant. -
So I began at my first programming job as an intern and it was as bad as it gets but I kept going, thinking that this was normal. After my internship I continued to work full-time at the same company and was working on new functionality on their legacy product build in ASP Classic and their shitty inhouse front-end framework (which btw used eval to evaluate strings in so called queues). So I was assigned a task to create a module which needed some available data in the database. I was discussing my ideas with my supervisor and she didn't let me finish and began speaking on how I should get the data needed. My approach was much more clean and used only one request and hers used two. So I heard what she had to say and I wanted to finish what I was about to say before she interrupted me but she did it again. I go nervous but let her finish once again. After that she left me to work on my task and I did it the way thought was right (and it was). After she saw my approach she was furious because I didn't talk it over with her and she said that she don't think that we can work together if I continue to work like this. I felt how my head filled with blood but I kept calm. If I had opened my mouth I would surely get fired. But I didn't open my mouth and quit after one or two months. She was a real bitch that day...1
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!rant
I know this may not be the typical post on Devrant and it may be a little off topic, but I could really use some advice from fellow colleagues here.
The thing is, I just finished engineering school and I got my first job as a software engineer. So far so good. I've never been a natural talent in this field, and I suck at writing code. I find things like architecture, system design, innovation, requirementsspecification, management and business development much more interesting.
These past weeks as a software engineer has been really challenging for me. I seem to be totally "in over my head", and fuck everything up. I can't understand how the code I'm supposed to write works, and can't solve even the simplest of tasks that are assigned to me if they involve any implementation of code, or fiddling with Github or build servers.
Is it normal to feel like this as an engineer with zero experience? Will things get better, or should I just resign or wait to be fired?
What would a natural next step for a software engineer who'd like to move more into business and management be? A MBA? Project management courses?
I hope to get some advice from you guys. Maybe you've felt like this when you started out as well? Anyway, any constructive feedback would be really much appreciated.7 -
I haven't turned off my work laptop since over a month. I restart occasionally when Windows update demads it.
I have TeamViewer running in this and since workplace has 24/7 electricity and highspeed internet, i use it if i have to download something huge and important.
In addition to that, I'm using it for something else, which will get me fired if found out.
Believe it or not, nobody has yet noticed since last 6 months that I leave my system running 😂8 -
Soo highlight. I’m a Tech Lead dev, and I happened to have had a gunshot injury in 2021 Dec, and kinda suffered some hectic stuff but long story short, I went through a full year from recovery and blah blah, but anyways after that year when I went back to work my boss(former), asked I go for psychological tests etc, then after that I passed everything as normal but then soon as I went back to work my boss took me to HR for some special performance review process that could mean I get fired or put back in the team again. My question is it this a fair trial when I never got another chance to work again as I was hired??? I need help pls :(4
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This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...
I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)
So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...
Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...
So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?
(Sorry for the long post :/ )8 -
Linkedin is known from displaying invasive corporate advertisements like join our cloud, and other picture title shit.
But it got worse.
From January I am invaded by contribute to this article crap and get some badge. Powered by some artificial intelligence shit.
From about a month or so I am seeing lots of suggestions on linkedin wall that look like content written by bots, and the posts are from real people, well morons from FAANG started showing up with their generated spam but that’s not all.
This week I started getting job offers that look like are written by chatgpt and not a real people. When I reply to this offer that it looks like it’s not from real person I am ghosted.
Those job offers are like 3 a day and I those are not only contacts but mostly a direct messages from premium account that costs 1000$ per month or more.
I feel like I’m in real world matrix.
But that’s not all.
I see lots of recriuters from my contact list are getting fired and looking for new job.
But that’s not all bitches !!!
I sometimes reply to some CEO and they delete posts and invite me to contacts just to ghost me.
I feel so disconnected I started to think all those people are all only bots and I am last living - real person that is not using AI to write something.
I think microsoft finally managed to kill this cash cow with their obsession about AI. Corporate shit is killing every good platform.
Hope for fediverse to take off with some news websites thinking about integration with fediverse.
Help me obi P2P nobi you’re my last torrent hope.
If p2p social networks won’t take off now it would be dead end.9 -
Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...
Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)
Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.7 -
You know when you get blocked from company's webmail, from their slack and everything they have... but they don't have the courage to tell you "you're fired"?
Well, now I do.
Almost a year working for someone, and they just locked me out - not even a "bye sucker!" or anything.5 -
We use a open-source business management software (incl. crm, e-commerce, billing, accounting, warehouse, ...) that is highly customizable.
Previously we had "Company A" that customized it for my company. It was very expensive so they hired something to do the same but cheaper & inhouse. The codebase that "Company A" has written was terrible (confirmed by CTO & the new colleague").
Then the CFO wanted functionality A. Colleague said that this will take 2 weeks to implement. One week later, it was no longer needed & functionality B was now mandatory. Rinse & Repeat.
The CFO: "Why is nothing ever gonna get finished" or "why is the quality so bad?"
So they hired another person for the same position. This person has more experience so it costs them a lot more... And suddenly, everything works well
They contacted a few months later a consultant that analyzed the company. The consultant asked (for good reason) why such a small company has 2 people maintaining the in-house BM software. And suddenly, they wanted to get rid of the worst person. <enter my previous rant>
He is thrown out. Now the head of Operations wants to remove that software because it was not "sexy" enough (her words). So they introduced a glorified spreadsheet with less functionality. That new colleague was offered to take the lead on that project... And thus he fled to another company.
That project failed and now everyone is fired... And they hired back "Company A" to maintain that BM project.4 -
Is it highly likely that, those at high position of management are more greedy of money and posses less ethics and values, than those who actually build the company ie engineers ?
I had seen, it's always the top management who get away from mistakes/ issues but generally it's those who develop the company at core i.e. engineers again, are sidelined or considered responsible for the mistake, when management don't know a shit about anything, or sometimes engineers just follow what management says and management fucks their asses wide even if the management did something wrong.
Who do you think actually build companies/product. Engineers or management or marketers/sales people, who eats fat cheques ??
I remember from silicon valley, when hooli reverse engineered Richards idea and developed their own prototype named Nucleus. Pushed their engineers to beat pipe Piper and when their product turns out to be awfully terrible and extremely fucked like a burned dick with broken balls, they just fired their entire nucleus division5 -
Stayed up coding all night to make sure things worked nicely. An hour before I left work yesterday, received 5 other never spoken off tasks.
none of the communication went directly by me, I just had to hear out the nonsense, but did a complete integration half a year ago
managed to do 3,8 of those task after working out and finishing the first set. became 5am.
might be because I went mental and have synced up 2repo's with idem dito codebase to be up to date to eachother (don't ask me why this is setup this way, I don't get half of their logic, hence why it doesn't work until I silently patch stuff out)
overslept by an hour.. yay me.
inb4 being fired
(no time for a capitalisation and spellcheck on this rant either, 9.30am now, tired af)3 -
WHY DONT I GET FUCKING FIRED. I BEG TO GET FIRED. PLEASE FUCKING FIRE ME U DIPSHITS IM NOT EVEN DOING A GOOD JOB HERE AND IM NOT LEARNING ANYTHING USEFUL. HOW CAN A FUCKING DEVOPS JOB BE TO 24/7 CONSTANTLY RUN LINUX COMMANDS AND LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE HELLO????20
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Have you ever had to fire someone? or get someone fired?
I’m thinking about a time when I should have made sure a guy was fired.
He had no business leading a project, and I knew this early on when he suggested connecting a public frontend straight to a clients’ ERP.
I wasn’t on his project but I ended up cleaning up his mess when shit hit the fan.2 -
!rant
Pretty excited today! A buddy of mine wants to try getting into linux, he's mostly done Windows IT Helpdesk and some light Windows SysAdmin work but the company he works for is garbage and he wants/needs a change of pace. He's grabbing himself a raspberry pi 4 model B to use as his learning test bed. I'm grabbing one today or tomorrow so I can help him however I can to try and help get him comfortable with Linux so he can try to escape the hellhole that is his workplace. (I used to work there too, so you can trust me when I say it's fucking shite!)
Gonna start slow and easy and have him get comfortable with the terminal and ssh-ing in using keypairs.
Fuck yeah!!! I'm so excited for him.
He's wanted to get into linux for the last year or so but something at work would always happen to make him comfortable with his job again, like fuckface mcgee would finally get fired. And my dude would be like, "Okay, it's not all bad here, I'll stick it out a bit longer." Then they would just teplace fuckface mcgee with dipshit cockmouth and he'd fall back into a depression about working there. They finally put the final nail in the coffin recently and I think he's really motivated to do whatever he can to GTFO of there this time. -
You! Yes you.
I'm sure you know a lot of things I don't, even tho I have a pretty decent education and job.
Universal justice wouldn't be that I get fired and you get my job. You getting a (better) job would be universal justice.
So I wish you best of luck.1 -
Ok, today's rant brought to you by Microsoft Visual Studio, once again. The updated version I downloaded yesterday now has a weird problem where upon the first run of the emulator, my changes show, but on subsequent runs, no matter how much I change, save, clear cache, restart the emulator, no changes will show in the emulator until I completely restart visual studio! Currently in the process of uninstalling the updated version to download the older version, but again I can't just refresh my PC, because I have to download a version from the developer account downloads. Because the trial version can't be upgraded. This is Microsoft's Flagship Development product running on their flagship OS on a machine with killer specs and the latest updates. GET IT TOGETHER. I would be fired if I released such buggy updates and had such an arduous user experience.1
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I need help!
This is gonna be a long question/story.
I'm a Syrian based in Malaysia working as a lead web dev in a good company.
I have a friend in trouble and I want to help him.
Here's a summary:
My friend is a project manager at a gaming studio he happens to be an Iranian atheist with around 2 years of experience in the game making industry.
He worked on and delivered a couple AAA games at his current place of employment as a project manager in one of the teams that made those games.
He stood up for his team when the management was overworking team till after midnight sometimes and forcing them to work on weekends without any tangible compensations ( basically they gave them things like free lunches, movie tickets, etc).
The result of his standing up to his team was the management handing him a notice telling him that he'll be fired within 2 months due to "underperforming".
This was a month and a half ago.
He looked around in Malaysia for a job that can get him a working visa, but his niche background couldn't help.
After his termination in few weeks he can extend his stay at Malaysia for approximately 2 - 3 months.
Now the reason why I mentioned that he's an "Iranian atheist" is the fun part of this story (sarcasm), Iranian government considers him as an "infidel" and he's banned from Iran.
His Iranian passport can't get him anywhere where he can make a living.
So basically he has close to no options.
Now to where I come into all of this:
I want to help him.
I'm going to dedicate my free time for the next 2 - 3 months teaching him web development, the problem is, I don't know how to teach web development in such a short time, in fact I've never taught anyone programming from scratch.
If he can show promising results I know that I can make a case for him get him a position in the company I work for.
I already convinced him today to try and learn web development because I can tell that in Malaysia there's always demand on good web developers.
Now to my request:
how can I best teach web development to someone with no programming background ? I'm thinking about teaching him front end development, so: HTML, CSS/SASS and JavaScript. maybe react js as well if possible ( high demand is usually on React/ Angular front end developers)
Did anyone here teach programming to someone else before?
Did anyone here learn web development in such a short time?
If you've read all this... Thank you :)17 -
How can a big company as Facebook, allow that many functions of its website are just untested?
I make you an example, access the mobile version of Facebook from browser, go to a group and change the notifies settings, then refresh the page. The settings returns as before! If I did something like this I'd get fired in less than 0.1 seconds2 -
Just explained 3 senior devs what cherry-pick is.
Dunno if I should quit or get them fired.
Thoughts?5 -
Have you ever gotten a task where you have to modify some existing code, and to get it to work the way it needs to you have to write some ugly ass code?
And I'm talking FUGLY ass code. The kind where every brain cell you have screams to refactor it all so that your code won't be so ugly and you can live with yourself. But you only wrote it that way because some numbnuts who was fired a year ago designed it that way, and left zero commentary or documentation on his reasoning ("sELf-dOcUmeNtiNg cOde, bRuH!").
It doesn't pose any sort of risk with regards to security or resource management or efficiency, or really even faulty logic. It just looks fucking awful, my brain can instantly see better ways to design it and I don't want history to tie my name to it.
But also the system is being gutted and retired within a matter of months, so maintenance won't even be a concern; and you know that you have a lot of other large tasks that need your attention too, and to refactor will ultimately prove to be a time sink.
I mean ultimately, I know what I need to do, but I guess it's a pride thing. Just makes me feel icky. -
I used to strive 7years back to become the company project manager. they agency was helping me to get there, and when they fired the old PM I thought "this is it!!!"
instead they hired another guy, which got me frustrated.
all that being said, I give that guy full credit for everything I know today. -
I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.2 -
TLDR, i am not performing as I used to in my job before i made my side hussle and idk if i should do anything about it.
every since covid started and companies started laying off people, I started realizing im in danger when no company was able to match my current salary, and the ones that do would, make me do a hunger games hackerrank competition with thousands of other people which I don't really wanna take part of..
My company even laid off a lot of people due to budget cuts a while back and i didn't feel secure at all, and knowing that i might end up with less salary should i get fired and settle for the next company that accepts me, kinda made me lose any trust i had for the whole being an employee thing... I have financial goals i want to meet and depending on this one company to not fire me is scary...
I registered a tech company and hoped I could take on some high budget projects, got nothing the first year but slowly i started getting some projects and now im hiring contractors to help with projects and its going great and im really happy and excited about it.
But i often need to manage said contractors, have calls with clients and even do some coding myself. Some of that i end up having to do in secret in my company time... we work in a big co-working space so i get to sneak into a meeting booth and do all that.
my manager lives in another country and basically im in a situation where i can get away with it without anyone noticing.
However, I used to be one of the top contributors in the company. I used to finish a butt load of tasks every day and i ended up being promoted to manager, but i still get some coding tasks. But generally, if it weren't for my side hussle i would still be a top contributor and shine like i used to, but now i mostly do what is expected on me, and im afraid someone would ask me at some point why im not as productive as I used to be.
nobody asked me anything but i just feel kinda guilty and miss having the one job to focus on and taking credit for a lot of things and helping everyone, but at the same time i dont trust that the company cares about me enough to give me any guarantees or stocks or bonuses so i feel i need to keep growing my side hussle to have a safety net..
thank you for reading my rant1 -
So, might be the first time ever but I have a reasonable client. Oh wait, life isn't that nice!
Boss, stop picking fights over stupid shit with the client!
Boss, actually show up to meetings you called!
Boss, do you want to get us fired from the contract?
Boss, stop threatening the client! They hold all the chips here!
Boss, actually listen to my technical advice since you are not technical!
Boss, go die in a hole!
Boss, I want your job and paycheck you do nothing!
Boss, don't tell me you are tired and we can talk tomorrow when you kept me up until 3am the previous night then called an 8am meeting!
Boss, give everybody, including the client, more than 2 hours notice for a meeting, then get pissed when the client doesnt show. They have other meetings!1 -
So... Here we go again.
For the ones who doesn't know I'm a cnc worker / future .nc programmer ...
Today because my machine broke I finaly whent to the (cam) programmers den to learn, even was lucky because my usual programmer was starting a new piece from scratch...
But my fuking boss must really not like me... I'm the most promising programmer between the noobs but everyone else is already programming (talking about the ones that learned in the last months)
Today because I was learning, got fucked again, was expelled and ordered to do the work of a rookie while he (who has half of my company time) would program the work for me...
So... I always do overtime because others don't (and someone /me must stay till the last coworker lives)
Cant learn how to program... Because shit. while others are taking time from the old ones, while I can learn only by watching...
Have a burn out (it's getting worst) because of the time I only slept 3 /4 hours to do overtime while I was finishing my course...
Oh and flunked two times because I had to chose between overwork or getting fired (my boss didn't want me to finish the course, don't know why)
Didn't make a complaint because I would get lots of people fired (basicly there are legal and security violations behing committed, if I made a complaint most of the tools we use, chains, magnets to lift cargo and such would have to be thrown away... Plus lots of other tools that don't obay regulation... And there would be a heavy fine for every worker that does overtime... That means that half the staff would have to be fired because the company would stop for months)
So... I'm stuck... Must wait till I burn out, fire myself or call the authorities and fuck such a good company...
Only because two bosses have problems with me... (my dad works in the company and there is lots of envy towards him, probably because he came after and got a place they would never get ...)7 -
why is it everybody wants to hire a head of a department all the time
like that's just super weird to me
wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone into a lower position, have them learn from head of a department, then get promoted because you know they'll head the department to your standards then?
but most posts want you to already be head of a department... and it's like, I don't know your department. what the hell happened to the last head of department? why do so many people need heads of department? why the hell are they choosing to get them from outside the company?
somehow none of this makes any sense to me
like I'm literally just so confused why people hire seniors and expect them to automatically know the way the company does things
it just literally doesn't make sense
promote your underlings? then hire more underlings to sus them out?
WHY ARE YOU HIRING SENIOR STAFF FROM OUTSIDE YOUR COMPANY, LITERALLY NOBODIES, AND GIVING THEM TONS OF AUTONOMY AND CONTROL OVER OTHERS IN YOUR COMPANY, THATS SO CONFUSING
worse yet I hear most people just lie when they apply so it's like... are you rotating irresponsible lying people through senior positions at your company over and over again, as they attrition your underlings and eventually get fired for incompetence?
WHAT IS THE STATE OF THIS ECOSYSTEM5 -
I started reading “The Phoenix Project” by Gene Kim. And in the first chapter itself two people from the IT department get fired, and the author is forced to takeover the CIO position. Damn, now I’m shook. Is Tech really that much under appreciated and management that much hostile ?4
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I think karma is doing me a favor today 😍
So I started to work fir my current company early January 2017, on a project I'm still currently working on (well, now discussions are made around the next sprint, so I'm working on something else but you get the spirit)
We had the most PAIN-IN-THE-ASS-ish client I ever met. Dude gives schemas of what a page should look like (no real visual model but well things were pretty clear so there weren't big problems around).
The client was the kind of dude that could send these models, let us work on them then opening a fuck-ton of tickets, ranting about how the elements' display isn't good. Then we have to make remember him that he gave us nothing else, and he agreed on the functional specifications. And this for two WHOLE fucking years
Today, the project director came by our office and casually sat down next to me to tell me that the dude have been fired by his company for being a huge douchebag, blocking communication between us and simply being useless.
The sun is shining again 😍😍 -
This is just funny more then anything 😂
This guy has been fucking up non stop!
He did something incredible, we gave him precise EXACT instructions you couldn’t mistake them
What does he do? Everything wrong.
Granted what he does, works, but... it will take me hours to do what I want to do with the data, if he did it the right way, minutes!
All I wanted was all the active products for this company and their links on the site. He creates an export I can convert to google xml shopping.
What does he do? create over a 100 export buttons one for each supplier so it’s right but it’s all products for that supplier in one file.
So I can do my bit if I just combine 100 files together 😂
It’s funny because there’s already an export that does the exact thing we want just without all the right fields. This is what we asked.
He just needed to duplicate that and add more fields 😂 we think he’s doing it on purpose to be a dick 😂 no one can be that dumb.
I’m laughing cause it’s fucking ridiculous. He’s gonna get fired soon, and he knows it. -
So... I was working in a dead end job where nobody cared about programmers, they were happy everything looked ok.. no standards, no interest in whatsoever about programming.... I was just about to start searching for another job, a better one. I started updating my linkedin and other profiles (ejobs, bestjoba, and so on...) and a few days later, even without applying I got a call for some company asking me for an interview...so I go there...and I was really confused, at the address was just a house, a regular house...anyway,I called them and someone gets out and invites me in, gave me a test with like 50 questions and problems to solve. Did the test and they made me wait for like an hour or so... then two guys in black suits comes to me and start asking me al kind of trick question (like why php 6.1 is better than 5.6) I answered them and then they are like "we want you here, but you have to start tomorrow... and by the way, the contract you will sign... you will can not tell anyone where you will actually work, and can not tell anyone anything about our project and after you will quit or you'll be fired you won't be able to work in programming for the next 2 years or we will sue you... but this is just as a precaution so you won't steal our ideas, code or anything else"... and now is about an year from when I started here, and I have to admit... I get it now, i get why they have all those clause and stuff in the contract...
Sorry for my english, I know it is not really good... and sorry for the long post8 -
Never got one as is, but went so close to it than I could smell the smell of death out if it.
Short story: it's due to my hate of Drupal 8, but I just don't know if I was badly introduced to it through a car wreck of a project or if I simply just hate it and it's insanly hard way to do simple stuff.
In November I went to the point where development was no longer a pleasure, and I was doing lots and lots of small mistakes that almost got my ass fired (made a rant about it). Nothing was enjoyable, I stop going to the gym, ate badly, saw no one excepted my roommate...
The day they switched me to write test scenarios with Behat, the sun started to shine again. Now that I'm back on Drupal knowing all this, I know that I'll have to leave the company once I have my diploma, because there's no point to stay in a place doing something you don't enjoy while you get tons of job proposals on LinkedIn
To all the people who are deep down in it: stay strong, save your ass as soon as possible and find something else, but keep some time to heal. -
How to disconnect from work after working hours? Im working for the last 4 months as a mid level dev in this company. I mean Im able to problem-solve and do my work but sometimes I get so addicted to problem solving that I get worried and become obsessed, hyperfixated (especialy if Im stuck on something for lets say a couple weeks). It goes to the point where I work from home 12-14 hours a day just to figure out some bug in the flow.
Thing is, our codebase is large and when doing every new refactor/feature some surprises happen. I dont have a decent mentor who could teach me one on one or even do pair programming with. All i have is just some colleagues who can point me to right direction or do a code review from time to time. Thats it.
I dont know why I take this so personally. For example I had to do a feature which I did in 1 week, then MR got approved by devs and QA. After that during regression they found like 3 blockers and I felt really bad and ashamed. While in reality our BA did not define feature properly, devs who reviewed it didnt even launch the code and poke around in the app, and our team's QA tested only the happy scenario. Basically this is failing/getting delayed because of a failure in like 6-7 people chain.
However for some reason Im taking this very personally, that I, as a dev failed. Maybe due to my ADHD or something but for the next days or weeks as long as I dont find solution I will isolate myself and tryhard until I get it right. Then have a few days of chill until I face another obstacle in another task again. And this keeps repeating and repeating.
My senior colleague tells me to chill and dont let work take such a toll on my emotional/physical/mental health. But its hard. He has 7 years of experience and has decent memory. I have 2-3 years of experience and have ADHD, we are not the same. I dont know how to become a guy who clocks out after 8 hours of work done everyday. Its like I feel that they might fire me or I will look bad if I dont put in enough effort. Not like I was ever fired for performance issues... Anyways I dont know how to start working to live, instead of living for work.
I hate who Im becoming. I dont work out anymore, started smoking a lot, dont exercise. I live this self induced anxiety driven workaholic lifestyle.6 -
Someone is trying to get into my shit. Mail Accounts and my phone is receiving lots of. Spam calls and phishing messages...
Fucking bastards..
We all get phishing shit but if it’s targeted it makes me feel awkward..
Little fucking bastards.. I think I even know who it is.. that useless piece of junk that got fired because of my honest feedback. Not many others know my current nr, emails etc..7 -
I'm getting tired of coding. Not really the coding part, the dealing with people who tell me what to code and why part. Sort of considering making a move into a scrum master or PM role just so I can get fired when I say "No, we're not changing everything they've been working on in the middle of the sprint" or maybe "Yeah, no we're not going to put in a bunch of tickets to change the UI/UX without first talking to the designers, because that's what they do. Yes, I realize we aren't Facebook, but do you realize we "compete" with them because a huge number of people will compare our usability to theirs? (even if just subconsciously)"2
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My last night :
- Had nothing much to work on
- Opened an anime site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good shows.
- Realized full screen isn't working on that page.
- Fired up JS Console , spent next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.8 -
I was in a company (if you can call it that) for 3 months but I didn't exactly have a good selection process and I was even afraid to get paid for the first month. They made me install Hubstaff (or new slavery), I was in a project that mixed too many technologies, we were not clear who was making the decisions and finally they fired me this week, you don't know how happy I am.2
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For me the worst job would be to develop front-end stuff as the sole dev in a design company.
Imagine having to go to great lengths just to have everything done perfectly down to half pixels.
I've had to develop a couple of projects for an external design company and their lead designer was an absolute cunt about quarter pixels. I'm glad they fired him and working with them had become somewhat sane again...
Some things in front-end are either impossible or near impossible to get perfectly and nobody will pay for those wasted days anyway.
Oh and by the way: Please get rid of IE. I fucking hate it almost as much as my ex's mom.3 -
Back on my university internship.
I knew nothing about web dev and it was a full stack role. I was taught nothing and just sat down and ran entire solo projects for websites and web apps. Everything was down to me including client contact.
Taught nothing and had to learn the entire stack on the fly whilst trying not to get fired or lose clients. Company had no version control for these projects, no quality assurance/testing, no frameworks or anything.
The first 3 months were not a good time. -
So new job and my superior is someone that keeps on writing really bad code. Whenever I point it out to him I can tell he's annoyed. Dont want to get fired after a week of working here :(6
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Most developers are morons, pt 2
In my last post on this topic, I discussed zombie developers, i.e. lower tier developers who enter the industry from a non-tech background usually through a bootcamp or get hired at a small (and usually desperate) company after doing a few github projects.
In this post I'll be talking about the middle 67% of developers. The average joes. The ones who know enough software to build apps, maybe even publish it and sometimes (not always) actually get users using their products, even for a brief moment of time.
For these people, software is genuinely interesting to them, but they don't really put in enough effort to get good at it. They don't put in enough late nights. They don't cancel enough leisure or social events. For most, they're only good enough to not get fired (job security) and that's as far as they want to take their careers.
And I suppose there's nothing wrong with that. Most people don't have a yearning to go above and beyond, so I'd expect most developers to follow this pattern as well.
So to you, I say thank you. Thank you for doing all the boring menial work no one cares to do. You might even get a pat on the back if you put in the extra effort.19 -
I am scared :< every day our boss comes in and blames someone that he did some shit.... He Never came to me... maybe he think I'm not working... Should do some issues too or I get fired :O3
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Once I worked on a custom CMS for a client who was really into breaking stuff... actualy he broke a lot of shit by doing some stuff on he's website while it was live!!!
Once after a hard days of work I had to publish the new version of the site...... first I checked that it is still working on the live server so I could take a backup.... gues what the website was totally fucked up......
I was really angry at that moment and this incident wasn't the first one so I created a user with bunch of swear words as name, surname, email etc etc... and I forgot about it..... so 2 to 3 weeks later the client noticed that user.... and wrote a angry letter to my boss....
Didn't get fired tho :D -
The computers and network seem to be CRAWLING today. Which is great, gives me plenty to time to imagine the many ways I could get myself fired for doing the deployments the way I am. 😅💀
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So, apparently the female front-enders won't get fired even though they submit works that even doesn't meet up close to the requirements.
Management want to keep good PR.
Fuck GirlsCanCodeBullShit.16 -
Just told the dev I'm pseudo mentoring for like a week or two about devRant...here's to hoping I don't get fired!
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Sometimes people just don't understand the meaning of cleancode , it's so simple that....why not writing the whole code on one line?
FFS -
If your boss is lately suddenly being a giant prick to you, then you're likely going to get fired.3
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This bitch im dealing with thinks I care about updating her site.. I don't. If you try to get my mates dad fired for bullshit 😒 I won't give a shit about your project.
Yes it's not professional... But quite frankly. I don't care. I have more important work -
My coworker got fired due to budget & not enough work to do (his work is done, they didn't had long term tasks for him). But he is a junior dev (1y prof. experience in IT, 15y prof. experience in total) and he is now interviewing for nearly a month. Nearly all recruiters say that they are looking for someone with 3y prof experience in his field.
Does anyone has advice on how to get a job with as good as no experience?2 -
Rant
The rumour goes that, with meetings with the highest staff, attendees lay their tokens (to enter the building) on the table in case they get fired and have to leave that very moment.
I once had to attend such a meeting as a simple application engineer. They had heard I could "do stuff with SharePoint".
The part about the tokens was a myth but that people get fired right away was not! One did get fired! I shit bricks back then. Especially when I got asked something very ridiculous and impossible... how would I say no?
Luckily I came up with an alternative.
But Damn. .. glad I left that place -
Was an internal auditor translating department process to a technical spec for a programmer. We were going to leverage an external company's API which would replace our need to use their slow and buggy web app.
During a meeting, an audit teammate suggested something be changed with the external service we were using. I said we could bring it up with the company but we shouldn't rely on it because we were a small customer even during out busiest month (200 from us vs 10000+ from big banks).
Teammate said we should have our programming team fix it. I made it clear that it was not our side and that to build out the service on our side was beyond our scope. Teammate continued to bring it up during the meeting then went back to desk after meeting and emailed us all marked up screenshots of the feature.
I ignored this and finished writing up the specs, sending them over to the programmer building out the service.
30 minutes later I get a call from programmer's manager who was quite angry at an expanded scope that was impossible (engineers were king at this company. Best not to anger them). Turns out my teammate had emailed his own spec to the programmers full of impossible features that did not reference the API docs.
I feel bad about it now but I yelled at my teammate quite loudly. I said he was spending time on something that was not reasonable or possible and when they continued to talk about their feature I yelled even louder.
Didn't get fired but it definitely tagged me as an asshole until I left. Fair enough :) -
First, I need you guys to read this article:
https://goo.gl/LHGVw1
Just from reading the company’s write up, they are shit. They put all the weight on the guy's shoulders. So much so that he had to put in 12x7 weeks for 2 years... One day they tell him that they are gonna scrap his work; when he exploded - and rightfully so - they fired him and built an inferior product. Of course, they praised themselves for productivity being much higher than when he was there.
At the end of the day, they were shit because they never cared about his mental health. They just pilled more and more on him, because he was the rock star. He eventually broke psychologically. They don't care about all the personal sacrifices he had to make to give them those 12X7 weeks.
Worst of all, they spun it as him being the asshole - which will make it harder for him to get another job - when it was their shit management that broke him psychologically.... sigh
They all depended on him, he knew that too. The pressure to not fail was too much.
Bad management can seriously destroy a person8 -
Maybe I am just sensitive.. but sometimes I feel that my new manager is being a little harsh on me.
Again, he might behave the same with everyone and I am assuming that it's just me.
1.5 months in the new job and not a single good comment/feedback I recieved from him. It's not that he criticises me or my work, or calls me a dumbass.
But whenever I submit anything for review, I get a ton of feedback where he expects everything to extreme precision.
He guides me, explains me post my failure, and has specific pointers of what he wants/how he wants things.
But all I am given is a set of documents to read initially with an expectation that I have to figure things out. When I am not upto the mark, he then guides me.
Why I worry?
1. I am on probation and this place is a start-up, don't want to get fired.
2. They got me as a Sr PM (which was also my previous role where I excelled), so I fear that expectations would be high from me. Failing to deliver those might get me in trouble.
3. He isn't a micro manager and quite supportive, but his communication style isn't working for me (so far).
Somehow, as always, I am getting along well with everyone in the org and everyone is talking good about me.
But with my immediate boss, the imposter syndrome kicks in real hard and I am super insecure. Every time I have to interact with him, I get super stressed and anxious.
I know things take time, but given that I am a Sr PM (and my boss expects me to be a lead PM, a position higher than current), I feel if the expectations are not delivered then I might get fucked.5 -
None of the networking people want to handhold the company VP during the all hands meetings (several thousand people over Webex's high volume broadcast service), so they all fumble around when they get in there.
The company owner rage fired someone in the networking team for screwing up. He has done stupid shit like this all the time.
It's one thing if it was some other time. Right now, firing someone, especially without review or for something so trivial, should be a god damn human rights violation. I've lost total faith in my company's management.2 -
They want to make a project fast, give me an unexperienced frontend dev to guide late in the project, gave design a shit ton of time and cut my hours by 25%. Good luck. I don't even care if the project is late and or if I get fired. I can find another job7
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Summary of My Experience With Recruiters
1. They do everything until they get a phone talk. They also go cold turkey if they don’t have what you want, no politeness if you are not useful to them.
2. They are OK with your highball salary range at first
3. Once they got that you are hireable, they show their true nature
3a. Trying to lower my forever salary expectation to guarantee an offer and their one time bonus
3b. They scare you implying I would be fired from job anyways, if I don’t like some aspects of the current job
3c. They call you multiple times a week with no scheduling beforehand
3d. They lecture me on why salary shouldn’t be a big reason for job change(bitch don’t even…)
3e. They say shit like I want you to get this job(dude, you say that to every job seeker)
I will add more if I remember. What are your other bad experiences4 -
Best experience? My homie @lordbarnhill and I stumbled onto the solution for installing OpenSocial #Drupal8 properly on Pantheon hosting.
Worst experience? Creating a website for a radiology group only to get fired with 3 days left until launch. The "new" developer turned out to be their IT guy in house took 2 months to launch. The experience up to the point of getting fired was excruciatingly detailed and filled with ope creep. -
Building a development department from the ground up is exhausting AF i mean all the research, trying to find best industrial standards to us, best practices, main tech stack to use, working on projects and trying not to get fired2
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statics: just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean you should. now I get to spend my day cursing the guy who hired me 4 years ago, and who was fired 2 years ago, for his turrible design choices.1
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I have been seeing double info and shitty margin on my Facebook feed...someone is going to get fired lol
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My manager had someone else manage me for my whole time at the company so far. Nearly two years now. Anything I’d come to him with, he’d direct me to this other person.
Fair enough, dude’s really good and I learn a lot from him. I see why they trust him with so much. I think he’s a genius. I’ll never be that good. Embarrassed I’m only a few years his junior. Wonder why he’s okay with being a manager for employee pay. Don’t think about it much, normal corporate BS.
Well it got way more “normal” when his ass got laid off without notice. Feel terrible. Him and 70% of my branch’s full timers. Wonder how I got so lucky. Everyone’s gone. We barely have enough people to do a standup. They all had 5+ years on their belts minimum. Only the contractors are left.
Manager emergency meets with me. Tells me all his best staff are gone and I am now the only front end guy on the team. He tells me he is not confident in the fact I am responsible for all of the old guys work and he is worried. He thinks I can’t do it cause he thinks I suck. Fuck me man.
My manager is pissing himself realizing he has lost the only people keeping HIS job for him. He has no clue my skill level. He sees my PR’s take a bit longer to merge, yet doesn’t realize I asked that friend of mine who was managing me to critique my code a bit harder, mentorship if you will, so we’d often chat about how to make the code better or different ways of approaching problems from his brain, which I appreciated. He has seen non-blocking errors come through in our build pipelines, like a quota being reached for our kube cluster (some server BS idfk, all I know is I message this Chinese man on slack when I get this error and he refreshes the pods for me) which means we can only run a build 8x in one day before we are capped. Of all people, he should be aware of this error message and what is involved with fixing it but he sees it and nope, he reaches out to me (after the other guy had logged out already, of course) stating my merged code changes broke the build and reverts it before EOD. Next day, build works fine. He has the other guy review my PR and approve, goes on assuming he helped me fix my broken code.
Additionally, he’s been off the editor for so long this fool wouldn’t even pass an intro to JavaScript course if he tried. He doesn’t know what I’m doing because HE just doesn’t know what I’m doing. Fuck me twice man.
I feel awful.
The dude who got fired has been called in for pointless meetings TO REVIEW MY CODE still. Like a few a week since he was laid off. When I ask my manager to approve my proposals, or check to verify the sanity of something (lots of new stuff, considering I’m the new manager *coughs*) he tells me he will check with him and get back to me (doesn’t) or he tells me to literally email him myself, but not to make any changes until he signs off on them.
It’s crazy cause he still gets on me about the speed of stuff. Bro we got NOTHING coming from top down because we just fired the whole damn corp and you have me emailing an ex-employee to verify PATCH LEVEL CHANGES TO OUR FUCKING CODE.
GET ME OUT5 -
There are few layoffs in my company due to COVID-19 and so now there's 3 times more work then usual per employee and fucking senior manager keeps on threatening that if we don't meet the deadlines, they will get us fired as well!
Have to do overtime every fucking day, also even on weekends, my life has got all ruined and couldn't do anything about it as getting a new job in this time is going to be a pain in the ass as well!7 -
To not get fired. I'm a student at the best high school in my country, so it's really unusual that I work besides school. I want to prove that it's not only possible but beneficial. I already learned a lot, but if I won't get fired, I'll be close to senior level by the time I start working full-time, which will help a lot with university.1
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I don't program for days on end. It takes a few weeks and then I fell good about it again. Sometimes I wonder if I even like programming. I do well in college, but I've never had a job as a dev (aside from student "research" positions). I'm worried that I'll just burn out and get fired or quit and lose interest. Maybe I already have? Can't think of any side projects to develop either, they all seem out of reach. Still figuring out how to cope with it. The test grades don't do it for me anymore.1
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So, I browse to a video livestream and an annoying ad starts before the livestream is shown. Furthermore, the page jumps around because of a cookie notification that also blocks some UI elements at the top.
Note: this is the website of a public (government-paid) national news website with very high standards and a good reputation.
Action 1: refresh page; I hope the ad is skipped. Nope, annoying ad restarts. Page jumps around again because of the cookie notification.
Action 2: accept cookies to remove notification blocking the top UI (it's OK, I know it can't actually save any cookies on my machine). Instead of some nice JS doing it for me in the background, the page refreshes because you know, HTTP requests and whatnot.
Annoying ad restarts again... FML 🤬
Lessons to be learned from this for any web dev: these annoyances can and *will* exponentially get worse if used simultaneously against your users, instead of being used to help or inform your users.
As a user of you website, I want to watch a livestream. I don't care what stupid legislation forced you to shove a fucking cookie notification in my face. Make sure it is not annoying me to the point that I close you website and take minutes to rant about it!
Also, give me the freedom of choice to watch an ad or not. You and I both know that some ads simply are not for me. Better save yourself and myself the bandwidth.
And go get good at web development. You're a news site. That's more than just text and images. If you want great apps, social media coverage, videos, live streams, blogs, etc. go get some better web devs. Your current web frontend devs only qualify to get fired.1 -
MOBBING DICTIONARY - 4 -
Sentence (in private, outside the scope of CEO or such)
- sort it out yourself! fuck you, worm! I'll get you fired! I'll crush you with an hammer
(something very insulting, screaming)
Purpose
- to exasperate the target. So he/she will fight back, maybe at the wrong time. Or he/she will try to stay quiet, but he/she will explode inside.
- make clear to everybody that the mobber is the danger
Result
- The mobber will deny he/she ever said that. The target cannot prove it. Nobody will support the target, not even the witnesses, as they are scared. The CxO will not believe he/she could have said that, because he/she is apparently mild mannered and respectful with all directive positions.
- The target has a dilemma: or he/she denounces the words to the managers, but he/she will be considered a defamer, or worst.
Or he/she takes it in, and in such case, he/she will be slowly destroyed psychologically.3 -
I guess it's my third or the fourth company that am currently changing.
I have the will to improve and write better code quality level up. But sometimes i guess i have the lack to find the how to do these stuff and how to practice and who is going to tell me that i have to change these lines of code so you can improve am just in a big mess and i feel so bad about it.
Now i had just received a new warning at my current company that i either improve or i get fired. So i have been searching over google and internet how to improve as well i had just created a new project for the will to practice and become better.
Can someone tell me what i should do?
How to fix everything and let my colleagues gain my trust in my code commits ?
Because literally i feel so bad about everything and you can't imagine how miserable i feel.3 -
Hi all,
I'm in this company for about 15 months. It's one of the big name company. I'm a senior dev here. In my team we follow agile development. In starting I was just working on my part mostly. Then my manager raised concern to me for not taking ownership and helping others.
I started doing things what I could do. Like code review, API discussion, design discussion etc..
Now, the thing is I usually get upset when people go with 'lazy' solutions because I feel bad design leads to maintenance overhead, and it happened to us in past. We had to spend weekends to make things work. So, I started making code review, design review strict.
Some people didn't like it. But my manager was supportive, or at least I think so.
Some days back manager took me in a one-o-one discussion and told me one of the colleague kinda complained against me.
Now, my manager is not involving me into design discussions and API discussions. There are some new features are coming and I am not informed. I get to know things only in scrum-updates.
Am I about to get fired? I'm not gonna lie, I'm so scared. I can't put down papers as I'm already into 4th company in 7 years.
This thought is just killing me. What should I do? I'm so alone.7 -
I was asked to pretend to be an expert to solve a temporary solution for a client in my company. I agreed because I thought it would be a simple solution.
I was wrong.
They only gave me 4 days to train (Including my f*cking weekend) and the project requires a much more experienced consultant since I'm struggling even with the simplest of tasks. Also, the person who was suppose to help me it's not always available. And they are not actively searching for a new expert.
Today I'll talk to my team lead and the person in charge of the project and let them know that this task will require someone much more experienced.
I may get fired but at least my conscience will be clear.
I just feel bad for the client. They are such nice people.7 -
I want to code this stupid little tool just to toy with a GUI system i was reading about on github. But I'm so burned out and sick of code I just can't bring myself to even start it. I can't bring myself to work on my 3D printer I keep telling myself to get back up and running. I can't even bring myself to talk to anyone outside work even for just stupid little conversations
All I ever fucking do anymore is work, sleep, watch YouTube, and make plans ill never even fucking start I'm sick of this shit.
I'm considering working in retail for a few months just for something a little mindless compared to programming.
Another arbitrarily decided stupid work meeting is tomorrow and I'm 70% set on quitting rather than waiting to see when/if I get fired
i have enough savings to easily survive until I find a new job1 -
my employer moved our company to the UAE. we were in a dying and collapsing country. Now we are in a stable and great place to be. We are even paid about double the average salary here.
But...
He now seems to believe we all owe him. so every time a long weekend / holiday comes up he tells us you have a week to deliver X or ur career will be in danger.
I have been living the past 2 months with those continuous threats. In utter anxiety over possibly losing a job i love because of him.
Before the weekend started he tagged us and said you have 48 hours to fix X. and here i am on a weekend working 10 hours a day as a result.
But i have been pulling 2 day shifts in one day. spending nights, weekends and holidays working on the project he wants fixed. and he still seems very angry at me and my team all the time. very unappreciative. and just very hurtful.
im just scared shitless because i have a family i support and have Just moved to a new country and paid thousands of dollars to rent and furnish my new place. If i get fired now i would be ruined...3 -
HELP!!
I am starting a new contract to create a full stack web application with a medical company that will contain some sensitive data about their clients/patients.
I have been working as a salaried full-time employee for a medical software company, but I have been shielded from any sort of lawsuits from the client (worst case scenario, I'd get fired).
Do any of you have any advice on what I should do to protect myself in terms of LLC's, Insurances, etc?2 -
Goals for 2019:
-Try not to get fired for writing trash code
-Get a new job (maybe :/)
-Work on my own project that hopefully takes off -
Okay, my first serious rant.
An acquaintance of mine when needed my help always explain his problem equivocally. Like, he would explain laboriously of the method to achieve what he needed when the thing he only needed is just a simple API call. Im not saying im an expert in this area but his explanation doesnt help me to understand his problem. If i do not understand his problem, how can i help him? At least if i know what his problem is and i cant help, i can seek help from others.
And hes not even working in the same company as me. And he wants it solved ASAP. I dont know your problem, yet you want me to solve it? I dont even know if im capable of solving it! And I have my own job to do..
He always try hard to explain it. He tried to sound professional. And he always ask for my help first because I knew he doesnt want others to know that he doesnt know how to code. Why do you apply for the position if you know you cant handle it?! Everytime. He's been fired before. And he did it again. I cant. We are fresh graduate. Apply for a fresh grad position. If you dont know anything, just said you dont know unless youre very quick to learn..
I remember once we need to submit a linux commands or something homework. We need to code it during the class and submit it by the end of the class. He asked me to code for him while mine is still half done. "Quicker please!" he remarked. There were still plenty of our classmates still doing it and some even havent done it yet. What the f are you rushing i felt like slapping him in the face with the keyboard at that time but because i am a matured adult i did not do it.
Hes not even a bully he just always get panic without reasons. He wants things done early and then he can post on social media. "Oh so tired this program is so complicated" or like "Oh damn, they want me to lead the group again (roll eyes emoticon)"...
Please somebody run over him.
Hes making me bald everyday and i think this is unhealthy. If he wants to get bald, get bald alone. I was just starting to work but my hair has been falling everyday.5 -
We recently pulled in a developer onto the devops team, and also our manager was fired a month ago. Everything devops is Python/Go but all our developers are in Clojure or Node. He's recently been writing a lot of stuff on Clojure and I didn't get an opportunity to bring it up at the last retro.
Recently he changed all our old Go projects to use a CI-pipeline he built, even though I wrote a build tool, with tests, that does everything his pipeline does, in Python .. over two years ago. When I asked him why he doesn't just use our existing builder, he responds saying he doesn't know why he should use some tool/script just because it exists ... um, everything we've built uses it?! 😡
Our last manager was a dick and I understand why they let him go, but he also would put this guy in his place. He's literally made is own little "devops roadmap" for himself and shared it out with the team. It's all about his personal goals and what he wants.1 -
What happens if i quit my job or get fired? Am i never allowed to apply to work in that company again or can i apply in the future?5
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Story time...
full-stack dev with a side project
get fired, side project gets investors money enough for me to do side project full-time
over-inflated CTO title but suddenly I'm not only coding but in charge of interns, operations, ML, strategic planning, etc...
should feel lucky but at the same time kind of not really sure what to do first since I'm kind of in charge of everything... facepalm.exe
any suggestions? thx!6 -
can anyone share their experiences on switching jobs inside the company?
i have been an Android dev at my current company and a job has recently been posted which requires a java engineers. i am expecting this is a backend job. i got 0 experience with backend or java backend frameworks, but i understand java well and always wanted to transition to backend. even the reporting manager is someone whom i have seen in meetings and sitting with my TL
should i go with it? should i inform my TL? would it he awkward? would i get any raise? chances of me getting fired increases more or less with this?
please share your journey6 -
Rant 1
---
Today i had the first meeting with others in my new job. Why do ALL indians sound exactly the same omg. Its like a clone nation. Copy and paste. All have the same voice same accent same way of talking thinking explaining etc. Why are indians like this
Rant 2
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I wish i could just get fucking fired. Only 1 month in and im getting sick of this bullshit already. Havent even started the bullshit. I want to work remotely from HOME and i cant. $8.125 an hour wageslave in office. I FUCKING WASTE $200 MINIMUM A MONTH JUST ON GAS TO GET HERE TO OFFICE INSTEAD OF SAVING IT BY WORKING REMOTeLY. That means i get $200 (if I'm lucky) or less leftover every month. Just enough to buy a sandwich to survive and continue being a good slave.
FUCK
Y
O
u40 -
SHIT FUCK I THINK I LOST MY VISA CARD
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
IT WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY WAY I PAY (besides Bitcoin)
god fucking duck me in uranus, now I gotta pay money to get a replacement. Besides that, my parents are going to be pissed off, aaaand I might end up finding it somewhere.
I probably dropped it while pulling out my phone. I don't know why I thought putting it in the same pocket with my phone was a good choice. Just as I don't know if it was a good choice to learn Java
*shot fired*6 -
Why do companies waste serious cash in office parties? I'm talking about those hundred-thousand-dollar extravaganzas that major tech companies seem to be addicted to.
Poll after poll finds that most employees would rather have the cash, so "kissing the collective asses of tech staff so that they won't leave" is not an explanation that holds up.
The "Roman Triumph" explanation also does not make any sense. If rich assholes want to flex their immeasurable riches, why would they invite mere mortals that do not put a lot of effort in being famous or pretty? Couldn't they invite the entire Victoria's Secret catalogue of models and the NE Patriots? Surely it would make for much more impressive photos of decadence.
The "Michael Scott" explanation also falls short. Companies spend serious cash on consultants and professional party planners, that are sure to know a lot of people. Money can and often does buy personality, so no rich asshole is ever a party dud.
Why else do they force most of their own staff into what they perceive as a "do not relax or you may get fired" loud and poorly lit meeting that takes hours to dress up for? What am I missing?5 -
2 weeks ago I ask my coworker, who btw hates me and try to sabotage me every time he can, for a login for our brand new dev-system (webserver + dbserver).
I needed 8 days until he told me "no, work on the test envoiriment".
I escalated it to my boss, but he told me "no time, do as he says"...
Well okay.
So 3 days ago our bosses boss boss came to me and told us to do this very very important things - or we all will be in HUGE trouble and someone gets fired.
So I do it, I work as hard as I can, finished yesterday.
Today my coworker decides to play with the testsystem, because it is a testsystem, and boooom - accidentally kills a few databases and stuff for this very importent thing. Non recoverable.
And that is, guys, why you never work on testsystems.
He will get fired friday.
Karma5 -
So I finished a side project at a cost of my company time. Now I'm panicking to get shit done before I get fired but also glad that I finally made something in 2018. THIS FEELING IS SO CONFLICTING!!!
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Make good progress on Orchid, my pet project, the functional programming language that has no syntax apart from what the macros define. A type system, an interpreter and provisions for a compiler would be nice for a start.
Finish my bachelor's degree on some unspecified part of Orchid, at the current pace that would most likely be just the Hindley-Milner algorithm.
Don't get fired from the gem of a job I have, and move to London because I'm a city rat and the only way I can sleep well apparently is with a tram or drunken people screaming under my window.2 -
I wish I could get our technical lead fired for incompetence. No transparency about deadlines (it's always "Oh and we need it today"), always overpromises to business ("I told them you can deliver this in two days" - we estimated a week's worth of work), and she never documents anything except through email (she never uses Jira, which we use for our task logging - we end up creating the tickets ourselves, which she never reads or updates either when there are blockers she needs to address).
Dozens of retrospectives later trying to find a solution to her poor organizational skills have failed to produce anything remotely close to an answer. She just stubbornly refuses to change or improve. I'm at my wits' end just dealing with this on a daily basis to the point I can't wait to clock out and go home.
It's a Friday tomorrow. I intend to slack off and just put in a couple hours of work because fuck her and fuck this company and its inability to fix itself.1 -
So, let me get this straight. At a company called OpenAI, which has the mission of making AI available to the world, the CEO was fired (then rehired, then fired, then rehired) and all the employees stood in solidarity with him through all that. But then there was this new AGI development that the supposedly open company is hiding from everyone and which could threaten the existence of humanity. Because OpenAI is open and is very concerned about AI's existential threats. Except when it's not because it's concerned with AI's existential threats.
Did I get that about right?
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/...5 -
Any remote dev out there? What's your experience being remote been like? What advise would you give someone starting a remote position?1