IOS SUCKS!! SWIFT SUCKS !! OBJECTIVE-C SUCKS!! SUCK MY DICK APPLE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !! Why did you have to make the language sooo counter intuitive, and so different from the popular languages you pain in the ass piece of shit, Why can't I throw exceptions from a constructor of a class?? Why do I have to use a fucking struct to just throw exceptions?? Can't class constructions fail you peice of shit?? huh? GOD DAMN IOS MAGGOT DEVELOPERS IF I EVER RUN INTO THOSE FUCKERS IM GONNA FUCKING RAPE EM BURN THEM ALIVE AND HAVE THEM FOR DINNER

Working with a radio chip we selected because it had built-in encryption. Cannot make the encryption work, thus in contact with the manufacturer:
"- I cannot make the encryption work, it's like the chip doesn't want to take a key.
- which key do you use?
- does it matter?
- well yes, you can't just use any key!
- why not?
- you need to get an approved key from us.
- why is that?
- so that your competitors can't read your data!
- ...
- ...
- so the way to get working keys is to get them from you?
- of course!
- keys are 256 bits. Can we potentially use all of them?
- OF COURSE NOT!
- how many can we get from you?
- one! We reserve it from your company.
- are you telling me that all units within a company will need to have the exact same encryption key?
- yes!
- so anyone with our product could eavesdrop another same product?
- well yes, but it's all within your own products.
- ...
- ...
- that's not how encryption is supposed to work.
- but it's safe, your competitors cannot eavesdrop!
- I'm out of here."
(We finally found a satisfactory work-around, but i am still pissed at them)

WhatsApp, freaking WhatsApp.
How did this thing become such a standard. How? Why does everyone EXPECT you to have it. They assume that you have it installed on your phone.

'Why don't you respond to my messages? '

'Which messages? '

'The ones I sent you'

'I didn't get any messages. Wait, how did you send them to me? '

'WhatsApp'

'Ah, yeah I don't use that. Wait, where did you even get my phone number from? '

'What? You don't have WhatsApp? Freaking weirdo. '

'bye'

How did an app(lication) become such a standard and why does everyone automatically assume that you have it? And whenever I explain them why I don't use it (Facebook = bad), they just react with 'install it again' (most ridiculous answer) or 'what is wrong with you' or they just give me a confused look and walk away.

A lot of them also act like there were no alternatives (some even better than whatsapp). One of them and probably also the best one is signal. It has all the necessary features a messaging app needs and is also very secure.

Luckily a few of my friends have installed signal and I am currently trying my best at my parents. They have threatened to 'take my phone away if I don't install WhatsApp again' or 'if you don't use WhatsApp then you also don't need a phone'.

Okay finale:

Fuck whatsapp, fuck facebook, fuck ignorance

Hey Mm...Morty. What are you doing?

Oh gee Rick, I’m just...you know...using Linux and telling the internet how that makes me better than them.

Morty, you rr...realize that it...it...doesn’t matter what OS you use Morty. Y...y...you’re still a piece of shit Morty. I can prove it...burp...mathematically Morty. In the grand scheme of the universe...y...y...you are a bubble sort algorithm surrounded by quick sorts Morty.

Oh gee Rick.

Interviewer: For this next code challenge you will not be allowed to use the internet, or an IDE.

Dev: …

Interviewer: OR a keyboard OR a mouse. I will be verbalizing the code to you and you need to memorize it and tell me where the bugs are.

Dev: …

Interviewer: We must do this exercise to know how you are as a dev without any performance enhancing “aid”. This way we can understand where you are truly at skill-wise, and what you are truly worth from a compensation perspective.

Dev: …

Dev: If I get a job with you will I be allowed to use the internet and an IDE and a keyboard/mouse?

Interview: Of course you would! Getting anything done without those is just about impossible. We just need to evaluate you without them to see how good you REALLY are.

Dev: …

Job offer: "All employees will be provided Macbooks"

Nope! Just nope.

Let your dev chose their equipment, thank you very much.

If they want a Linux laptop, buy them one. If they want a Windows workstation, give it to them. And if and only if they want a Macbook, give them a Macbook.

I used to work in two companies having the requirement to use a Macbook for two years.

I know its pros. I know its cons. My conclusion for me: Never again!

1. You will write ugly code. Code that is in dire need of refactoring almost immediately.

2. You will write brilliant code. Functions and algorithms that will impress all that use them.

3. 1 & 2 are not mutually exclusive. Good software can be written poorly, beautifully written code can be useless. At the end of the day, just get the job done.

Why is it that every time I tell someone I code they instantly think I can hack into things like their phones. Then after that they never trust me with any electronic device.

Me: Hey can I use the toaster?

Them: No! Your just going to hack it.

FML. An overreaching supergenius "architect" and a database team:

A: "We have decided that apps should use mysql. Install a MySQL so we match cloud"
DBA: "we don't have an image or experience with MySQL. We have mssql and Oracle "
A: "ok, use mssql in data center and mysql in production cloud"
DBA: "that's... not going to work well"
A: "just do it!"

...

Me, reading this shit, sends email: "ignoring the fact that we have more than 500 queries in this application which will need to be checked and most likely rewritten, how are we supposed to test the mysql queries without production access?"
A: "just use mssql local and MySQL in cloud"
M: "... Just to make sure I understand, you want us to write queries for mssql, test them locally, and then write separate queries, with a separate SQL connection abstraction that deploys to production? Again, how are we going to test this?"
A: "no, use same queries, should be fine"
M: "they really won't, they're different dialects"
A: "do the needful, make work!"

If karma were a thing, this person would have long since exploded into a cloud of atomized blood.

At work:

"I do not get your concerns over ssl, it works fine when we use ie"

"What do you mean by xss? A regular use would not even try ans attempt something like that"

"We need to keep the txt file with the passwords there, its an internal project, the public would not even attempt to reach our site, just put them back"

Ah the many stories that I have from this place. It is an otherwise good place to work at tho, but oh well...

Me on a daily basis tho

Timezones. So, general rules are:

1. If you don't store timezone, always use and assume UTC. Databases, backends, whatever you use, all time must be kept be in UTC.
2. If you store timezones, ensure you store them everywhere and don't drop them anywhere.
3. It's always better to ignore backend server time in favor of database's `now().` Having a single source of truth makes time consistent (if it's the same database, obviously). If you combine backend time and database time, you likely get a violation of causality.

I've just spent a couple of hours investigating "weird random one-hour time drifts on updates." Guys violated all three rules above:
- they didn't store the timezone;
- their servers had inconsistent timezones. Java was in +XX., while the server itself in UTC. On one host, they forgot to put JVM in the same timezone;
- they dropped the timezone because they thought it was the same everywhere, so there was no point in serializing it.

Buzzwords.

I can't fucking stand it when people use them in the entirely wrong context, just to sound smart, or whatever very much wrong or invalid reason.

But, I also can't fucking stand it when people, just because some word is a buzzword, invalidate/demonize it by default when it *IS* used in the right context.

I see this last one more and more and it annoys me to death.

A colleague from university cried the last week that he cannot use git. For him it was just a big pile of software BS. I didn't bother to ask, as he is a very whiney person and complains about everything.

I asked him today...

He tried to create a git repostitory on his usbdrive. How else could he work on different machines???🤔😝

I tried to introduced him to Github/Bitbucket/...
He knew about them but was afraid they would sell/use his bugriddeld programming excercises😂

Working with a team of 5 for a college project.
Told them how to use GitHub.
Guess what.
Fuck you and fuck GitHub, they are sending me Dropbox links to download project (npm modules included).

I’m out, fuck this class and fuck college i just can’t

Normally I just read rants but my new assignments is just to much and I have to vent a bit.

So I was assigned on a new company to help them with their automated tests (I'm normally a developer) which was fine for me. Especially when they said a guy that have 10+ years of experience have worked on the framework for a couple of weeks so it should be fine and ready. So I though it would be a quick deal.

But then I got there and... it's the worst C# code I have ever seen. I can live with the overuse of static, long method and classes and overally messy classes that doesn't really seems to fit (it's bad but not unusual in test code it seems). My biggest problem is overuse of the damn "dynamic" keyword.

Don't get me wrong, dynamic can be good and it have it's uses but here they use "dynamic args" in every single method, every one! They don't care if the method only require one value or ten values, they use dynamic args. Then you follow this "dynamic args" parameter going in to sub method after sub method and you have no idea what they use.

And of course they don't know if anyone use the methods correctly (as you have no damn clue what to use without checking the source code) so in 75% of the methods they convert the dynamic to an object and check if it contains "correct argument".

So what I have here is a code that isn't just hard to use, it's a hell to maintain.

So I talked with this with other testers on the team and they agree, but as most of them lack experience they couldn't talk back to the senior that wrote it. So I hope to sit down with him this week and talk this through because it would be fun to hear the arguments for this mess.

/rant

Let the student use their own laptops. Even buy them one instead of having computers on site that no one uses for coding but only for some multiple choice tests and to browse Facebook.

Teach them 10 finger typing. (Don't be too strict and allow for personal preferences.)

Teach them text navigation and editing shortcuts. They should be able to scroll per page, jump to the beginning or end of the line or jump word by word. (I am not talking vi bindings or emacs magic.) And no, key repeat is an antifeature.

Teach them VCS before their first group assignment. Let's be honest, VCS means git nowadays. Yet teach them git != GitHub.

Teach git through the command line. They are allowed to use a gui once they aren't afraid to resolve a merge conflict or to rebase their feature branch against master. Just committing and pushing is not enough.

Teach them test-driven development ASAP. You can even give them assignments with a codebase of failing tests and their job is to make them pass in the beginning. Later require them to write tests themselves.

Don't teach the language, teach concepts. (No, if else and for loops aren't concepts you god-damn amateur! That's just syntax!)

When teaching object oriented programming, I'd smack you if do inane examples with vehicles, cars, bikes and a Mercedes Benz. Or animal, cat and dog for that matter. (I came from a self-taught imperative background. Those examples obfuscate more than they help.) Also, inheritance is overrated in oop teachings.

Functional programming concepts should be taught earlier as its concepts of avoiding side effects and pure functions can benefit even oop code bases. (Also great way to introduce testing, as pure functions take certain inputs and produce one output.)

Focus on one language in the beginning, it need not be Java, but don't confuse students with Java, Python and Ruby in their first year. (Bonus point if the language supports both oop and functional programming.)

And for the love of gawd: let them have a strictly typed language. Why would you teach with JavaScript!?

Use industry standards. Notepad, atom and eclipse might be open source and free; yet JetBrains community editions still best them.

For grades, don't your dare demand for them to write code on paper. (Pseudocode is fine.)

Don't let your students play compiler in their heads. It's not their job to know exactly what exception will be thrown by your contrived example. That's the compilers job to complain about. Rather teach them how to find solutions to these errors.

Teach them advanced google searches.

Teach them how to write a issue for a library on GitHub and similar sites.

Teach them how to ask a good stackoverflow question :>

Dev: This could be sooooo easily optimized...

Me: Uhm. Don't think so. What's your idea?

Dev: Just use threads.

Me: Nope. Problem requires 3 shared resources per process step, it won't be faster by threading. Shared resource will only lead to locking contention, decreasing performance.

Dev: I don't think that will happen. Can you PROOF to ME that this will happen?

Me: It was your suggestion, so you should proof me wrong. Nice try, but no thanks.

Dev: Yeah, but it's too slow and it should run faster.

Me: If you cannot find a better approach than the current one, it runs as fast as it can while providing correct results. That's not slow. That's just working as intended and designed.

Dev: Yeah, but it's still slow.

....

You know these conversations where you just wanna rip some people's face off, stick it in the shit hole they use to talk and toss them out of the window....

Yeah. Had those conversations today.

Wow Mozilla published an infographic instead of an actual blog post and didn't include an alt-tag. Let's just ignore the fact that blind users exist and use screenreaders, articles about privacy don't apply to them right?

A person just bought a 3000€ workstation and asked me to install cracked versions of Office, AutoCAD, full Adobe suite and Rhino with plugins. And he's going to use them at work to make money.

So, since I have to, I installed 2-3 years old versions of each, in English (he only knows Italian) and blocked all the connections so he can't receive any update/fix or use web related functionalities. I also disabled all autostarting components and contextual menu / OS integrations (although this can be seen as a plus).

When he's calling me asking to "fix" things, I will simply say "sorry, it's the only way for the crack to work, if you want everything you'd better pay for a license or else go open source".

Why can't people understand the value of the complex software they use? Just because it's not a material thing doesn't mean it's not a steal

Starting to work with a new senior designer in the remote office (red). Spent 4 days explaining to him that we need .png's in multiple sizes for the app, trying to teach him to use Zeplin to let us export them. Everything failed, his manager told him to just send us the .png's via slack ..... has he seen a computer before?

You shouldn't look for people with 10 years experience. You shouldn't exclude them but the people w/o experience need experience anyways and maybe they bring something fresh to your tables..

I know "designers" who would say they have 10+y.e. but I mean they design websites that to this day, use table layout and oldish looking design language.. (ofc there are examples that state the opposite!)

Measuring people by their years with experience is just silly..

Put earphones/headphones on but don't play any music. Just use them to block outside sounds.

Just give me a link to the web font man. Oh, there isn't one? You used a font that we can't legally use? Do you understand how that works? I don't want your 300MB photoshop document. I don't want to comb through your ridiculous stack of insane layers and artboards and deal with the images you didn't bundle into the project or try and make sense out of your arbitrary spacing and random font sizes. You're not an artist, you're just a crappy visual designer handing off an unthoughtful glorified wire-frame - and now I have to sort out all the things that you were paid to do. It's really easy. 1. Pick a color, 2. Pick 2 fonts that are legal and available to use on the web, 3. build a few patterns for font sizes and weights - write them down. 4. Pick your images. Make them double the size you expect them to be on the site + put them in a folder, 5. add readme and list the font patterns and the link to the webfont, 6. quickly scribble the wire-frame out, 7. take a photo of it, 8. put it all in a folder and send it to me.

I don't think I could give the best advice on this since I don't follow all the best practices (lack of knowledge, mostly) but fuck it;

- learn how to use search engines. And no, not specifically Google because I don't want to drag kids into the use of mass surveillance networks and I neither want to promote them (even if they already use it).
- try not to give up too easily. This is one I'm still profiting from (I'm a stubborn motherfucker)
- start with open source technologies. Not just "because open source" but because open source, in general, gives one the ability to hack around and explore and learn more!
- Try to program securely and with privacy in mind (the less data you save, the less can be abused, compromised, leaked, etc)
- don't be afraid to ask questions
-enjoy it!

Here's my current setup. Needs a bit of improvement still.

A few years back I thought getting two big touchscreens would be amazing to use for making music. I rarely touch them. They get dusty all the time. They are too reflective. The border around them is way too thick. They are too big to be useful in this configuration. I'll be replacing them with normal screens and probably go for a vertical arrangement instead.

As you can see, there's a fair bit of stuff on my desk. There's a USB sound interface that could be rack mounted but I've been too lazy to buy or make anything to house it. I have a pair of headphones, a wireless headset and a Rift hanging off of the microphone stand. I rarely use the microphone and guitar at the moment (considered trying some voice acting, not particularly good at guitar!)

The desk was originally 2 desks from an Internet cafe that was being refurbished. I cut the ends off them and joined them together to make a desk to fit the space I had and stuck some metal legs onto it (used to have a big ugly brown metal frame). Oh and made some holes to add cable grommets and it has an IKEA cable tray underneath.

There's also a slide out music keyboard underneath (made from some bits of wood and a drawer runner, it's quite clunky and I'm tempted to use some rack rails instead).

The drawers were to store stuff from my desk in but I just replaced that stuff with other stuff...

Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.

He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.

Wk29:

A 15 minute meeting to discuss what shade of yellow our product should use for warning. I had to attend because I was writing the product.

This was one of about 5 separate discussions on the colour, a few of which involved me showing them a colour wheel and telling them to pick.

I'm a back end developer, the colour is just 3 rgb floats to me, I don't goddam care!

"Lockheed Martin Will Replace F-35's Faulty Computer System With Cloud-Based Programs"

WAT

So apparently those jets have such a fucked software that the recommended workaround is to use them offline and only reconnect them once every 30 days to keep the system running. It's so bad that two air force bases went back to an older system and the Israeli air force also replaced it for their own F-35 jets.

And somehow those stable geniuses think the correct solution is to make everything more network-dependent and apparently already put Kubernetes on a different line of jets.

I just can't stop laughing.

I fucking hate all these JavaScript frameworks. You try to learn one and then there is another one that's rising up. While you wonder why a framework exists and what's the best use case there is a fresh off college grad who built a fucking app on it. How the fuck is it even possible? Did you study the framework? Did you understand how it works? Or did you just put together a bunch of tutorials and built the app. I feel people just want to churn apps out without bothering about understanding the framework. Ask them about design patterns... They know nothing about it. Ask them vanilla JavaScript questions.... They fumble easily. Ask them OOPs..... They look dumbfounded. WTF!!!

Or maybe I am just getting old. It's possible.

This is what f*ckin' grinds my gears to the max...

Today a family member asked me to help them with online banking so I agreed because they are really not computer literate.

I don't use the bank they use so the whole online banking website interface was new to me and I had to figure out where some things were.

The family member that I was helping was getting really annoyed because it was taking long (by the way it took me less than 15 min to finish helping them).

As I was assisting them the f*ckin' idiot had the nerve to tell me, and I quote, "I thought you were good in IT. You can't even assist me with online banking".

Honestly, WTF?!?!?! 😡😡
How does one even respond to such...

Anyways... This is just one simple example regardless of what field you are in IT, you NEED to be good with whatever tech gets thrown at you.

So irritating....😡😣

First (procedural) c++ lectures:

Prof: K guys, go ahead and attempt the homework
Students: sir, how can we have 1 file per exercise?
P: oh, you can't, just make one huge file with multiple functions and rename them to "main" whenever you wanna run them

Me: WHY DO I EVEN PAY FOR THIS BULLSHIT

Ps: not allowed to use classes as that's too hard...

Small random update regarding my ISP and how they call your speed if you use all of your data.

I actually sent them a small complaint (more of a suggestion but) that 256 Kbps is just too slow even for a capped penalty speed and that at least 1 Mbps so that the internet is still usable but still slow... And mother fucker if that isn't exactly what they did!

It's nice being able to sync my code and have more than 1 device connected to the wifi at once... It's a strange feeling when a company actually listens to feedback and takes measures on them...

It is time. I have to admit it.

I don't understand Git.

I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.

I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.

Create a folder on your desktop or use any 3rd party cloud service; when you've an idea and sooner or later realize that it's stupid. Don't just discard it, instead, put it in the ideas recycle folder. After a while, browse your ideas recycle folder. When going through all of them, I'm sure you'll come up with a new and better version of all those ideas.

TL;DR: A freehoster got a redesign!

I remember when I made "my own website" in wix and sitey. It sucked working with them for me. I hated having an ad for them fixed at the bottom of my screen. I hated WYSIWYG-editors and wanted to paste my own code, a pro feature.

Sometime later I found bplaced, a free german based (also English language) hoster. And I use it for all my "official" test project. My first ever published self-coded website is still on there.. When I want to show someone what I've been working on (locally) without putting it on my domain, I use their services. They always looked oldish like from 2000 but their redesign puts them at least in 2015 :D

Give 'em a shot if you want.
Sadly, I am not paid to say this. I just really like them.

Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.

- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do

runasync some_async_fcn()
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...

- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....

I know my username is ironic :P

Imagine if, when a Windows version became outdated (So anything before Windows 8, I guess), Microsoft made it available in the public domain.

We could have Windows distributions, just like Linux! Imagine how weird it would sound if you just said to your Linux-using friend, 'Oh yeah, I use arch!' and they replied 'Oh, me too! I love Arch Linux!', and you just stare at them and say:

'What's Linux? I only use Arch Windows.'

...
...
...

'Arch Windows? Are you stupid?', they would reply in utter disbelief.

We all know someone's gonna blurt out 'Yeah guys! I just downloaded Kali Windows so I could learn to hack, I don't know what you're talking about!'

Ah, good times.

Seriously? Javascript is the best?Javascript is the future?

Dont get me wrong. I have to use angularjs and nodejs in my work so I am quiet familiar with them. Js csn be usefull and make things easier and simpler but it comes with a price... You can do someting in third amount of effort but you have to debug three times more. Yes you can use typescript but thats not an option always. What about single threaded design yes you can use callback and promises but really? Thats the way it is should be working? And what about that if you need one functionality than you dowbload a module but with that you are started to depend from other 737373737 packages.

I am just simply not getting this hype around JS.

I've seen several posts now regarding Linux, Windows and how one of them is better.

Can we just stop?
Has nobody ever heard about dual-boot?
You can actually use both lol.

Is this something cool?
I wanted a portable battery but I had no money (student life in Mexico), but I had a couple of damaged tablet batteries and a damaged router case.
A year ago I did not use it, but now it is useful when I occasionally go out to capture some Pokémon.
The downside is that it only has one USB port to discharge and micro-B to charge. And of course I do not go out with the antennas, I take them off, I just put them on for the demonstration, haha.

!rant

I promoted duckduckgo to friends on Facebook and got them in a discussion about it. People generally are fairly receptive (with one annoying uncle pointing out the irony of posting it on Facebook xD).

One mentioned it was difficult to switch because Google was "just there", so I pointed to instructions on how to make it default.

Also enticing them with theme changes.

Feels good. Next to teach them how to use proxies :p

meta rant: I categorised this as a rant/story, mainly because it is related to tech, should I have just done "random"?

- Learn any language beside the ones I use at work
- Have a beta of a game I've been thinking about for some time
- Find a coder friend

I would be happy by just accomplishing one of them ;_;

Just got a warning email from OneDrive saying my account would be frozen soon because I had used 28.1Gb of my alotted 5Gb...

Erm... First off, I do not use OneDrive. I use Google Drive and JottaCloud. I have actively tried to get RID of OneDrive in Win10, with all those damn notifications all the time.

Secondly, I guess it's nice that if you DO use OD and hit the limit, they don't just cut you off instantly. But nearly 500% overuse seems a little late to react, no?

So I logged in and looked around to find out what the hell was in there. Turns out, MS had decided to upload my entire images folder. I did not ask them to do that. Deleted them, but will have to check the damn OD service when I get home so I can KILL IT!

And I am going to have (yet another) talk with MS support as well, I think...

Him: "I don't need source control, it's just another program that does unknown things on my source files. What if one day it stops working?? How do I get my files??"

Me: "you could say the same thing on 90% of the tools you use every day... Like when you restore npm packages by GUI"

him: "what are those? I don't use them"

Also him: "command line is vintage"

Help?

I work in support and some of the developers here don't seem to realize that their customers can't use the app they wrote because of all the bugs, but they freak out if anyone so much as *thinks* there's a problem with the code.

We have evidence it's their code. How do I get them to see I'm not saying their code sucks, just that a few changes might help performance?

I don't want to insult them, but at the same time, they're only responsible for one application...

Was just thinking of building a command line tool's to ease development of some of my games assets (Just packing them all together) and seeing as I want to use gamemaker studio 2 thought that my obsession with JSON would be perfect for use with it's ds_map functions so lets start understanding the backend of these functions to tie them with my CL tool...

*See's ds_map_secure_save*

Oh this might be helpful, easily save a data structure with decent encryption...

*Looks at saved output and starts noticing some patterns*

Hmm, this looks kinda familiar... Hmmm using UTF-8, always ends with =, seems to always have 8 random numbers at the start.. almost like padding... Wait... this is just base64!

Now yoyogames, I understand encryption can be hard but calling base64 'secure' is like me flopping my knob on the table and calling it a subtle flirt...

Hot take: Windows 11 is just to enable them to bake Teams into the OS like they did with IE.

They gotta get sued and split up this time! Their "Facetime" is skype and they had it preinstalled. Don't compare a business messenger to a private video chat platform!

I don't use slack, but they obviously wan't to win agains them by just making it part of the OS. This can't be legal!

So my CTO comes to me and asks me to checkout the APIs provided by a particular service and see if we can use them.

After two days of research I go to him and tell him that it cannot be done and it doesn’t fit our use case. He tells me research more although I have researched everything required.

So I take two days doing absolutely nothing, send a mail to the developer of the apis and they tell me that it can’t be done.

Now imagine this kind of scenario occurring every three months. RESEARCH MORE.

Why do super senior members of our company don’t trust me. It’s just so random and anger evoking

Just had a thought. The Twitter app does not use Twemoji.
"Hey, let's redraw all emojis but not use them"

Just received my $1 UnixStickers pack in the mail. Can't wait to put these on my laptop. Kinda sad that the Arch stickers won't really have a place on my Ubuntu laptop, but I'm sure I could find a use for them somewhere else.

!Rant

Ok... So I've just received 2 lots of 2u Dell PowerEdge 2950s , 6x2TB WD Greens, 6x assorted Seagate drives (misc size) .

Totally. Fucking. Free.

A friend at work use to self host, and doesn't need them anymore , I offered to buy but he wouldn't have it! Friends are the best!

It literally just happened:

my boss taught me how to use npm, bower and similar to have plugins while developing websites.

This time around we had a project which is divided among different repositories.

One was a foundation project using npm to build, the other one was a socket.io server, using actual nodejs

boss thought: "well they both have node_modules, let's merge them and merge the package.json as well

Nothing worked anymore.

Since I just bought a mystery bundle of steam games and received codes for games I already own.... and I'm in a good mood ☺️

I will drop the keys into the comments section for anyone who wants to take them.

Games:

- Star Wars - Knights of the old republic 2

- SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition

Leave a comment once you use the code 😏 don't be a dick!

Too much math ? Seriously ? Had you made the effort to atleast 'look' at them, you would see how simple they are. And just because I use the word 'equation' does not automatically make it a Volterra Integral Equation.

Could've discussed the subject at hand. But no, let's bring on the judgement. Who wants to ever discuss the subject ?

So, I've been programming a number of years, mainly .net, I've been looking at python recently and it just seems wrong to use variables without declaring them. It just seems dirty

A client of mine wanted me to use a specific picture as a background image on one of his graphics. This is how the conversation went:
C: Can you use this as the background?
Me: Where did you get this image exactly?
C: I got it off Google Images.
Me: you can't do that, you need licensing for the image
C: Well I just licensed it. Screw them.
Me: ...That's not how that works..

I can't tell you how much I hate people who make articles doing relatively simple things, in node, and instead of showing how to do it, they proceed tell you to install a fucking package (usually made by them)

Yeah no thanks, it's great that you figured this out and took the time to "enlighten" other devs but I'll just look at your repo and use the native JavaScript functions you wrapped on myEgoInflatingPagacke.justAWrapperHuehue(). Bye.

A project I'm working on uses Elastic for internal monitoring and logs. The customer asked to access those logs - not something we'd normally do, but it's isolated from other things we use and there's no critical data there, so what the heck, let them have it.

Ever since, we're getting tons of questions like "There are tons of [insert random info message] all the time, do you have any plans to resolve them?" and it gets to the point where I'm just about ready to scream back "NO, SUZAN, BOOKING NOT COMPLETED MANS THE USER F###ING CANCELLED IT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FIX IN THE CODE"

Edit: the customer's name isn't actually Suzan

Had to use a cmd window for adb to push some files to my phone so I could flash them and everyone is staring at me...

It's just a cmd window people... #Hackerman

I only see rants here about people who post to StackOverflow. I use it a lot but all questions i wanted to know were usually answered so I just had to search for them. I never posted something there and don't even have an account. Anyone else doing the same thing?

"Don't waste your time reinventing the wheel, just use *random CMS or framework*"
I understand that I will never have all the time to do every projets from scratch, because of deadlines, clients, employers... But I was still a student when I've been told that.
And I never felt that I was wasting my time because I wanted to better understand what I was doing.

And I hate CMS. All of them.

Just saw someone use Bing unironically as their main search engine. They have a masters in computer science.
Equal parts horrified and kinda tempted to study them like a creature

Short one, but it really gets me every time:

PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one typing hex-numbers in all caps!!!

I literally can't stand to see them in lowercase!!!

Every code I use with hex numbers in it (primarily ASM and C) I HAVE TO convert them into uppercase!!!

Is it just me and my stupid OCD or are there other ones like me????

so there was a tik tok (yes i'm a 17 year old american, so i use tik tok) about making an iphone app: "how to make an iphone app, step one open your mac and download xcode..."

i commented, "if you're not rich and can't afford a mac, learn flutter..." and a bunch of people go "just get a job it's only like $1k"

there's so many rich people out there who just don't understand the concept of debt, how there's not enough jobs, there's so many problems.

there's nothing even political about it. when the amount of unemployed people is more than the amount of job openings, not everyone can have a job, that's just a fact. how even if you have a job, you might be spending most of your money paying off student loans.

some people are just so stupid. they start off in a position where their parents have loads of money that gets them into great schools and internships and programs and they still want to claim it was "hard work" that got them there.

Warning: I code just for fun.

Today I finished a website and I asked to my friends to tell me what they think about it saying that it wasn't yet properly responsive and that could be some error, so I asked if they could use the computer to view it and all of them sent to me screenshots of the website on mobile.

I hate them.

P.S. Sorry for my english...

I started programming when I was 12, my parents saw me on websites and games, so their first thought was "he's playing!"

Today, 3 years later, I still use and make websites and software.

And yes, they still think that I'm playing, wasting my time and when I try to explain them what I really do and it is my life, they don't seem to understand...

My father knows nothing about computers, he don't want to learn anything about it, he just know how to use his phone.

Hey my work is awesome!

#heavyrant

AGAIN !!! MICROSOFT (MAY GOD SEND THEM TO HELL) GAVE A DEADLY BLOW TO SOMETHING I USED TO LOVE !!

This new UI update is just aweful, i mean, i love github, i work using github, i do so many things with it, or should i say that i used to ....

This update seems so un-natural, it just doesn't fit.

Why would the collabs be shown so obviously ??
Why would the main window be so narrow while the rest is widescreen ????

My eyes get tired so quickly when i use it now.

It used to be something nice, easy to use, but now it is more like a social media than a professional coding tool.

I HATE YOU MISCROSOT WHAT EVER YOU TOUCH TURNS TO BE A SHIT HOLE

I fucking hate MS Teams!

I do not use it at all, but there is another company of our group that has it. At the beginning, I could just access the website and talk to them over there. Ok, the page was not good, but that used to work for me.

The last meeting I had with them, the web version did not exist anymore, they just made me install the app. Luckily there is an official Linux version, so I could install it. I got late to the meeting, but could make it.

Today I had a meeting with a client. Important stuff and Teams did not let me use it because I had no business account with Teams enabled on it.

I've tried to use one of my personal accounts, to create a new one, to enable Teams, I've clicked, enabled, allowed every single thing they asked, but I ended up on the Teams home page again or with Teams asking me to call people on Skype instead of using Teams.

I've managed to create a company on Microsoft account on which I had to be responsible to my workers (!?!?!?) and it finally opened the Teams app, but when I try to enter the client meeting link, it just opens the app with no error message at all.

Fuck Teams and fuck Microsoft!

Sorry for the excess of blury.

Coworker thinks running a query on a console is a way to proof all use-cases.

Good lord I'm still surprised at how many bugs I can spot just by overlooking his code.

I mean, what is a MVC?!!SHIFT+1!!!?

Routing is just a file importing a 5000 liner controller that is actually not a controller for it handles http attributes and sends the response themselves.

Models are just good guesses of queries or a shit load of them: see picture attached

HALP

I'm managed by idiots who don't fully realize the nightmare they're creating.

They're making small operational changes, but hundreds of them with zero evidence to back their claims up.

When I bring up how it actually works, and how operations actually work I'm told I don't use the tools as much as management does and that my feedback is limited to how I use the tool.

So now I'm just gambling that they won't fuck up too bad before I get that sweet sweet sellout money and just letting them fuck everything up they want without any warnings from me.

I'm quickly learning that the phrase of the year is, "Fuck em".

Ok I completely lost it... Been in a prod issue all week and basically just said the root cause is bc this team is blind....

Use the forest and trees analogy first but they still didn't seem to see it so I sent them this.

And then the chat went silent....

Sometimes I think that Fuck, Shit & Cunt just don’t carry the weight needed anymore. Maybe I use them too much?...

Rails gems are like heroine. Addicting as fuck and dangerous when you stop using them.

Just the other day I was explaining user accounts explanations to a coworker when he asked me "what if for some reason you cannot use that package"

My brain froze for a minute trying to remember how would one go about doing that without devise.

Dangerous man.

Here with my books just bought these new 8 monitors just to use them for my marketing analytics work, but do you know what i love more than these books and 8 monitors that i just bought for my marketing analytics work? My brand new lamborghini

Holy fuck Microsoft,

you're just saying that you're giving away a ton of information to publishers when I am playing games on my Xbox.
Like data if I'm talking, chatting on Xbox Live, etc. so all this crazy stuff GA would do.

AND YOUR FUCKING OPT-OUT OPTION IS TO UNINSTALL ALL MY GAMES AND DON'T USE THEM. HOLY FUCK WHICH CRAZY DUDE CAME TO THIS IDEA?

Well, I got the free stickers months ago. Since then, I still don't know, where I should use them, so now I'm just protecting them in the letter.

!rant

How I think the process for designing a hardware-driver is like

CEO: "Alright everyone, we have designed and created this great product, now let's write a driver for it!"

PM: "Great then! We just code for Windows, create an eye-catching UI but leave the actual at the worst possible case that could work!"

Dev: "B-But isn't there other OSes, like Linux and Android that people use on their computers too?"

PM: "Shut up! We are going to JUST support Windows and f*** no absolutely other OSes!

Dev: "But what if they are also developers, and want to control and use this great product by programming it themselves? We should make the driver open-source, or at least give them some APIs!"

PM: "Nonsense! They are only going to use this product on M$ Windows, and with the program we provide to them, even if it's crappy and crashes most of the time!"

Dev: "But-but..."

PM: "No buts! That's our final decision!"

And some other consumer devs are like, "F*** it, we just reverse-engineer the codes and write a new driver ourselves!"

:|

Oh my god I love when you just have that "click" moment when you just understand EVERYTHING. I've been trying to understand how WordPress worked and found a great video series by Mr Digital on youtube and now understand the inner workings of WordPress instead of just the general aspect on how to install a theme or how to use a plugin.

People say there are tons of resources online but a very small amount of them actually work for most people. I just glad I understand it now.

From today on I'll have two roommates. Two girls, who always listen. And the best part, if I don't like their response I'll just use their APIs to make them say what I want. Too bad both of them are unemotional boxes.

If you write blogs and tutorials about programming,
Please don't just throw blocks of code at people. Explain what this code does, why you wrote it in this particular way and not the other, when people should use this technique and when they shouldn't. Also don't make your tutorial specific to a particular library/package unless you specify in the title.

Stop making blogs just for the sake of making them. Make blogs that help people become better. Advertise for your proficient and show others why you love it. Put some effort into your craft people!!

Senior Dev Idiot: "Ugh, I have another meeting with my business users because they forgot how to use my app. I JUST had a training session with them last week too. Users are soo stupid!"

Yeah... No. If your users can't remember how to use your app after a damn week, that means your app is shit and not intuitive or user-friendly enough. YOU are the stupid one.

So, these guys came to me at work, asking if I knew how the "Low Orbit Scanner" worked...
I said: "no, what's that?"
They said: "It's that tool used for DDoS attacks"
So I replied: "Oh you mean Low Orbit Ion Cannon"
them: "yea that, you know how it works?"
me: "ye, but what do you want to use it for?"
them: "just want to learn how it works"
me: "you download it, run it then fill out the things?"
them: "but I tried it and it doesn't take out the server I tried"
me: "Means your PC is to much of a filthy casual, buy a new one"
them: "can't you help us getting it more effective"
me: "yes, but I rather not end up in jail... I have a job and a clean document..."

The looks of their faces, love to see that disappointment of my colleagues when I say (or atleast hint): "go figure it out yourself"

Me: Why are we spending time building reports for Support? AFAIK they never read or use them.

Boss: Seems they expect you to do it.

Me: Then what exactly are they supposed to be doing? All the issues seem to just escalate back to us.... We should just make sure issues never get into PROD

Boss: I agree, they're always firefighting... we gave them more funding so eventually they should catch up **Me: I highly doubt it, you should just stop hiring monkeys** esp. if we prevent PROD issues.

Me: Yea... we should prevent production issues because someone always has to pay off the (technical) debt and interest rates in PROD are very high

Amazon's AWS support sent me an email about a request to support that I sent to billing, saying they sent it to billing. They then said they couldn't help.

I just need them to stop billing me for things I no longer use!

Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just

>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"

Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???

*lunch time*
Designer: we want to put these graphs on the landing page.

Me: ok, well they are pretty simple I can recreate them in about an hour with JS, and they will look better and be inter active...

PM: we don't have time for that just use the images from the mock up

Me: ok...

*5hrs & dozens of emails later...*

PM: the graph doesn't look quite right, can we just build it in code so it looks better? Oh and we need to have it to the client to review by end of day...

Me: ...

Gah! Person in work has an issue I suggest a fix and even give them the bleeding code. For them just to say it won't work due to x y and z, I know it will work heck I use this 'fix'. Then later someone who has been there longer gives them the same fix and they are suddenly all appreciative. Ffs wouldn't be so annoyed if this was the first time this has happened.

Programming contest assignments, first level:
1. "...if you don't know how to return values from a function, you can just print them"
2. "...if you don't know how to read files, you can assume data is in global variables"
3. Required recursion
4. "...and estimate its time complexity.", "You may pre-process the data, but use at most o(n^3)", "your algorithm must use under n^3 operations"

That escalated quickly!

I like JavaScript as a language. But I hate absolutely everything around it. All of these tools just make things more difficult. Sometimes when I clone a project I want everything there. I don't want to then wait 30 minutes to download the latest version of every library used, with at least one of them always breaking something. I don't want to have to use npm or grunt or whatever. Just give me the damn thing I need not make me spend 30 minutes running round in circles! Never have these problems in any other language!

Come on WebAssembly!

@Android Question

Does all android devs use Async Task for their Json calls or you prefer to do them on Main Thread ?

Am just asking to improve my skills and get some senior programmers opinion

omg omg omg. I just found out rebrickable has an all inclusive Lego pieces and sets database updated monthly FREE and under a CC license!! And their API is also available for use under CC. And I'm so excited I could pee because this just made it possible for me to jump right in on a personal project I've been wanting to start and my SO/friends just look at me and smile politely when I try to explain to them what a goldmine it is to find a library that does exactly what you need and is free too. So I needed to come somewhere and share my news and know I'd be understood. <3

I had a collage who kept linux commands like ls -l, ssh and git commit/pull/push in .txt file and when he needed to use them, he just copy from the file and paste them to command line EVERY F*CKING TIME. He just didn't won't to learn them.

This is not really the reason I got these parts, but I just had them lying around and have been following the project for some time... so why not? Haha. I was also thinking it might be cool to set these up to auto-disrupt known AP names that would be issued by companies most responsible for the dismantling of Net Neutrality. Like just make them in a dirt cheap throwie form-factor and let the companies deal with pissed off customers for a few days until the battery dies (thinking the little generic LiPo’s that cheap quadcopters use would give a few days if attacking sporadically and using the ESP’s sleep function). Just riffing here... ;P ;D

Building a website using Wordpress and Visual Composer for a client is pretty easy, right?!

Until the clients wants to change one of the icons to sofa “you can’t use image, and visual composer has a list of only 5 icon libraries and none of them has a fucking sofa icon”.

Manager says just do it today!
Ok no problem.. just had to figure how visual composer communicate with the libraries to show them in the module area, edit the function, create the font/svg files for the new icon, edit the css file of one of the libraries to add the icon. And boom its working fine!

No tutorial about this stuff so had to figure it out by reading the code and see how they did it so I can do it.

After finishing this, they just gave me few more changes as I have done nothing.

Thank you

I kinda hate to admit it but they were right. Data structures and algorithms are kinda the shit and you should try to learn and appreciate them. Not just so you’ll use them. But in that learning them helps you become a better problem solver.

There’s a self taught dev that my company works with for really bespoke applications. A senior dev that works with him and helps manage the development process told me that the dev in question doesn’t really know how to implement the finer details. Very telling indeed.

I've always wondered why Devs who are using windows seem to be allergic to any command line.
I've seen people install xrdp on Linux machines so they can remote desktop onto them, just to open up a terminal window.

But I think I now understand why.
Terminals on windows just suck.
And I'm not talking about CMD and powershell, I mean the terminal emulators.
The windows one is just awful, and even PuTTY is just annoying to use.

Yes it gets the job done but why do I have to click 4 times in some UI settings to change the font size? Just give me a zoom hotkey what the hell?
And the default colour scheme of putty always makes me want to shoot myself.

How the fuck does TypeScript still not have service worker support? Seriously, it's just a typings file. People have written that typings file. They would just have to include it in the lib collection shipped with the compiler. Yeah, it would have DOM calls intermixed with the SW api, but frankly, having the typings for a set of calls you can't use is infinitely better than missing them for a set of calls you can.
The relevant issue is 5 years old btw.

I mean, ONE of these days, the Prod pipeline has GOT to work... doesn't it?? Just basic odds say EVENTUALLY it will, doesn't it??

Of course, I'm sure I could have had it working long ago if not for the fact that we have to use common scripts developed by another team that we can't alter, and just guess where the problem is.

You know, standardization and DRY are good principles generally, but if you just apply them without thinking and without at least SOME flexibility, you only make matters worse.

Co-worker: "I'm getting files from customers which are in multiple types and encodings. Is there a way to force them to send only us-ascii so my tool gets only one kind which is easier to parse?"

Me: "Welcome to programming with arbitrary sources; you'll just have to build your tools to figure it out and not break (just rely on dozens of existing tools which you refuse to use)"

Consistent theme:
Me: hey, we should really do/use X
Someone above me: Nah we don't need it/we already use Y

1 week later (or less):
SAM: Hey, I was thinking maybe we should start using X

This has happened 5 different times already. 2 of them were security related and only talked about after our infosec guy brought it up.

Don't dismiss ideas your interns have just because we're interns, we might have good suggestions.

me: "I need to buy some licenses for the `software package`. I'm just going to use my corp card..."

manager: "...Sorry, you'll have to go through procurement for those licenses...I'll put in a request"

me: **grumble** -- waits a week -- buys them on corp card anyway

6 MONTHS LATER

procurement: "now how many licenses did you need?"

Best way to avoid procrastination : We tend to avoid commitments or to do large tasks as even visualizing them seems tiring and the longer it takes, the vulnerable we are to distractions

So I use this simple trick
I break my task into numerous sub tasks. For example if I need to finish a feature before day end, I would first list down all the cases I can think of in order and write them down using actual pen and paper.
I then start implementing them step by step.
I mark them checked once done.
It gives me a sense of achievement as I see those checks besides the sub tasks and I can also take breaks between steps.

So all it takes is just first five minutes of planning.
I had to do the above procedure, for this post as well.
Hope it helps fellow developers
:)

Just got my first paycheck. Felt amazing tbh. Proceeded to make a little Python project to help me with high precision budgeting and budget analysis. So, any grad students here who invest and/or save half of their paycheck and use their own code to help them do it?

I hate HTML forms. Fucking hate them.

They're semantic so folk use them to group related inputs.

But they're also functional if you're not just typing something in and pushing enter to send it to a server, you have to override every. fucking. event.

Semantic _or_ functional is fine, but for the love of all that is holy, not both. I hate this.

I fucking told them that yes, i can do frontend but im in no way expert, so dont expect much.

"Yeah, cool, use angular"

I was full of questions and tried to reason with them that angular is literally just an unnecessary load and would slow the development down (its a really simple site).

"No, use angular"

Ok fine whatever. So i built the site, it was ugly as fuck, half the functionality was hacked in with jquery because i have no idea how these fucked up frameworks work (or apparently dont work) when i realized that i get jackshit from the backend.

Turns out most of the json responses were totally disregarding the json standard, like {1: tag0},{2: tag1}, where a json arrat should have been used. The other half was xml. Yeah. Also of course they used spring so the backend took like 3 months where it could have been done in like 2 weeks.

I UNDERSTAND POINTERS (kind of) HAHAHAHA NOW I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO USE THEM AND I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE

ok, so i remake music and make sprites sheets for smaller developers, in an attempt to make them more recognizable. the devs normally give me a place in the "special thanks" section of the credits, and then i got people spam messaging me asking me to make them a game or something, so i explain to them i dont make games, just assets. however no matter how many times i tell certain people, they still keep on asking me to make a game when all i do is remake music and do a bit of pixel art, so the conversation usually goes a bit like this -

Them: Hi! I was wondering if you could make me a game?

Me: I don't actually MAKE games, just things you can use in your game.

Them: So can you make me a game?

Me: I don't know a single bit of programming, i just like to remake stuff.

Them: YOUR A FAKER???

Me: No-

Them: YOU SAID YOU CAN MAKE ME A GAME!

Me: i never said that, and i DON'T make GAMES,
JUST ASSETS.

Them: i'm blocking you

Me: why tho

Them: blocked :)

Me: [content hidden]

___________________________________________________
so yeah. this is why i stopped making assets for games and just remixed tunes for personal use.

"customers don't know what they want until we've shown them"

Is it just me that feels this a lot? I build a lot of tools for my own use at work, and then suddenly everyone wants it after seeing what they can do...

Does anyone actually use ZorinOS as a daily driver?

I've read reviews and they call it a "gorgeous" distro... It looks like a colour pallette swap of android 4.0 and I hate to say this to them but adding wine to your distro does not make it "windows compatible"...

I like the idea of ZorinOS but the execution is just horrible imho

I just want to thank Apple that has switched the Alt and Cmd keys. Every time I use an external keyboard I thank them...

Gamemaker studio 2's 2019 roadmap just got released.. Still no Linux IDE (FFS) but it only took them how many years to realise that not every developer is a malicious cunt and give us the ability to disable to sandbox file system?!

I swear they add and change stuff that is so trivial instead of focusing on the engines major problems and absent features, eg. Can't use SVG graphics, the need to be exported in flash (SWF) because you know, makes sense?

To the JS devs (not all of course, but to many of them), look here: ;

Is it so hard to do? ;

I feel like you don’t use semicolons just to mess with non-JS devs...

Just because it works without, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be used...

It’s as if i would stop using dots Just because I can it doesn’t mean it’s the way to go
It’s just making it more complicated for others to understand
Especially if the code looks like the spaghetti monster vomited into the IDE!

doing things right seems to be a waste of time

especially considering how fast things change beneath you

for years I've said I should just stop overoptimizing but I've yet to fucking try it. I said this to myself 5 hours ago and what am I doing. I spent the last 5 hours trying to overoptimize for a theoretical scenario that I won't ever even be in, because I haven't even decided what I want to immediately do

how about immediately do something Jesus fuck
next Tuesday this system will have to be rewritten again anyway

how many fucking asset loading systems do I want under my belt
just load the fucking assets

maybe decide on which assets you'll be using first so then you don't overoptimize for "WELL MAYBE ILL LOAD THEM INDIVIDUALLY THEN PUT THEM IN A NICE IMAGE IN RAM FIRST BEFORE I SEND IT OFF TO THE GPU" omg just shut up. just because you can doesn't mean you should. doesn't help everyone using this thing keeps insisting you do it this way. but you don't fucking need to.

actually you know what, I blame them. they kept confusing me with yOu ShOulD do It ThiS WAY. next thing I know I'm walking through every possible conceivable way to do asset loading so I can decide how to load assets and then end up in architecturizing of the perfect system. I didn't want to be on this path. but they told me to be on this path. I blame them

take-away: if you can make it work at all, just use that unless it breaks something. fuck how or for "what" the dumb system is designed. people don't stick to their "designs" anyway -- it's idealism just like free stuff sounds great in theory, but in reality it just shits up everything because it's unrealistic

Command: "Infantry unit, this is Command. The enemy is approaching, what's your status?"

Infantry Unit: "Command, this is Infantry unit. Just a quick note, my pronouns are they/them. Can we please use that in all communications going forward?"

Command: "Infantry unit, the enemy is upon you and you're worried about pronouns?"

Infantry Unit: "Command, this is Infantry unit. It's not just about me, it's about respect and inclusivity"

Command: "Infantry unit, you're about to be inclusively dead. Defend yourselves!"

Infantry Unit: "Command, this is Infantry unit. Wait, what? Oh s***."

(End of transmission)

Here at the client site everyone uses Windows 7, since this is not an IT firm. They make jewellery. So I don't blame them.
The problem is their in house dev team are also forced to use Windows.

Today someone from their dev team was with me for a new project. Their senior guy sent us a mail mentioning that the project code is on AWS EC2 instance and we will have to SSH to see it.
I checked the code on my MacBook with SSH and copied it to local using SCP. The dev guy was seeing it in amazement. I asked, what's it?

He just asked, "You don't have to use PUTTY" 😮

I smirked 😏

They’re making us use netbeans for class. Like I have a whole lab on learning how to use it. I’m not going to class, I finished the lab in 2 minutes. This one particular class is so dumb, we’ve had labs on ms word, PowerPoint, excel... they could have just done an optional workshop for people who don’t know how to use them. Waste of 2 hours every Thursday. And the teachers a dickhead

During the "how to install WordPress" the professor tells us to use the root user of the database.... Wooooooo yeah! Let's get fucked!

And he never even notes to them "DON'T use root in production!"

I can just imagine every one of the 40 people in attendance that day wondering how their website could POSSIBLY get hacked...

And they are are going to entering the industry, some of them as freelancers from the onset, thinking all that is ok.

So this Just happened, we were in a Meeting when Manager Tells us about "Time Management" and asked us Whatsapp we could Code for him,
I suggested that we use those Chips to track us and the employees, because we always use them to unlock Doors and Stuff,
Another Suggestion from another Person was:
To use Paper...
I was Like "WTF dude Pen and Paper? Didn't you listen?"

We now use Pen and Paper to weite our working Times Down...

My boss just upgraded our customer support level with a company we depend on, but I'm not allowed to use any of our 40 allotted phone support hours for "code questions" because "we might need them for something later on".

Salespeople telling clients "Your site doesn't need a privacy policy/cookie policy since you don't actually sell anything on your site."

Wrong wrong wrong WRONGITY WRONG WROOONNGGGG!!!!!

Client to PM to me: "Well Jim said we don't need those on this site."

Me: "Well Jim is misinformed, since we use Google analytics, Facebook Pixel, and contact forms, you need to have both a privacy and cookie policy."

PM to client: "We'll find you a template you can use to get started, it'll cover most of what you need."

Me to PM: "we will do no such thing, we can send them a few links explaining why they need these, but they should consult a legal professional and cover their asses for their own business practices. I can provide any technical details they may need like what data the cookies collect if necessary."

PM to me: "well I'll just find something for them then."

*In my head* please just go crawl in a hole and die.

So last time, when HR asked for a meeting I thought they knew who'll be leaving with me. But there is only rumors saying "CTO is poaching inside his team".

And I also learned from the a paralegal, who talk too much, that they just want to fuck with me.

So new course of action: how can I fuck with them? All week end thinking about it. And today, a big competitor, offered me the VP Engineering!!!

So I'll try to make them use their Non-Competition clause.

In France you can set a couple of main competitors and the employee can't work for them for a couple of years. And you have to pay the employee the full salary he could earn during that time (two years of salary). As the employee, you have to disclose this information (you want to sign with the competitor) with your current company and they have a couple of week to decide if they want to use the clause.

So I'm starting to see how I can scare them enough to make them use this clause.

I know it's not cool, but I enjoy so much fucking with them!!!

I have an idea but no time to build it. So I'll throw it out there and see if anyone does it.

How many times have you had an idea that just couldn't get off the ground without a little assistance. Where do you go? How to "pay" them for their work? Etc.

The development community needs a place where you can volunteer to help with side projects and get paid in karma... which you can then later use to "pay" other developers to assist on a side project of your own.

We are already a community that loves to give back, and collecting fake internet points. Why not put those to good use?

I don't want to use Visual Basic!

I'm a 17 year old boy and I have a couple of years of experience with coding. At school we had to choose between a couple of things to do 2 hours every week. One of them was about computers and programming. Sounds fun, right?

The teacher is letting us code in Visual Basic in MS Excel. I tried to explain him that I know how to code, but he still wants me to listen to him.

He doesn't even use any indentation! I can't look at it and I don't want to use VB it sucks just let me use js or anything else but not VB! Why won't you just accept I'm 10 times better than you! Just let me do my thing!

Now he thinks he can challenge me with a password strength checker. I want to use js, some regex to make it very short and efficient and a nicely styled web page. But now I'll be forced to use a horrible programming language (VB) I never used before!

What if I told you that algebra, geometry, precalculus's (ect) laws are the equivalent of api/documentation. we learn them and use them when necessary to solve problems. I will use the quadratic formula in math to solve a problem just like I would use a particular function in programming.

Somebody is onto me.

This week, I received a suspicious email claiming to reset my apple account password.

And just now, I received another mail from Facebook about unsuccessful login attempt.

I use this email only for serious stuff. Looks like one of them is a mole.

I was introduced to an Oracle dba working for one of the companies licensed for them

I was just starting out a few years in
Was using MySQL and dotnet to develop our system

Cost effective

Bastard gives me a kind of smirking smile after talking about basically representing a fucking catalog of use cases no real development and says "it just takes more to get this position"

Few years later oracle buys MySQL , the product he smirked about

Guess their system was really only good for Wal fucking Mart

Burn in hell oracle !

Tabs vs Spaces.

Not because one of them is definitely better than the other, but because it's 2020, we have editorconfig and everybody should just use what he personally prefers.

I don't know what language i want to be my main.

I know many languages but most of them just the basics, to write some simple programs.

I'm currently just coding in my free time, i'm still at school and there is no company that forces me to use a specific language.

But when i'm out of school and want to work as a developer, i can't tell them well i know these languages but only the basics.

What is/would be your choice for non web programming?

/*
* This question isn't about diminishing other operating systems !
* I'm just have no idea. 😫
*/

Is there a big difference on the amount of packages on pacman, apt-get and yum. Can I use either of them and be sure that most applications are available ?

Just published my first internal app, which is nice

We’ve also now started using GitLab, so I need to work out an easy way for use to transfer all of the reports from SourceSafe.

There’s only about 500+ of them, should be fun

We've told our client they can test their brand new distribution modul with a new test account already 42 times (not exaggerating, I counted). At least half these, we've sent also the test login data which they could use.
Just now, a new issue message from them says distributors couldn't see some data, we should fix the problem. Well, they already can't see those, but client has logged in with their own account again for testing...

Just in time for my Spartian score ~

This just popped up in my mind since I saw this post in the week :

Do you ever code in your free time ? And do you use your applications ? Or propose them publicly ?

Figured out the root cause of slow code by using a profiler in an afternoon (more like an hour but needed to confirm/investigate)...

Team spent over a week trying to figure it out using logging and debugging...

Even after I told them to use a profiler...

Guess now I've justified my position of being the highest paid dev on the team.

I just know how to use other tools besides a hammer.

Just fucking use the defacto standard. Shut up. Quit being immature. You're not the main character. No one in the world will use your new standard you pull out of your ass just because you thought you were better than other people. You weren't. You're an average dev by any means. If you feel like no one respects you, keep your ego problems out of your work. Just because your emotions are valid doesn't mean all of us have to live with them turned into code.

If I needed a web framework, I would've used React. I don't use React not because I wrote my own framework. I don't need a framework, like at all. Unless you think that ~300 LOC utils.js file + no build system whatsoever is a framework that is.

Sorry, just encountered non-upper-snake-cased environment variables and wanted to vent.

-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.

Me: Sure, what you used?

Classmate: ASP. NET

Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.

Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.

Me: ..................
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*

(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them)

when your elderly client wants you to teach them how to use their CMS effectively but can't even send emails and just calls you constantly....

!@#GDSGA!Q@#@

In my absolute lack of genius, I just lost way too much time finally realizing that in C# linq-to-objects removes duplicates when you use Union().

At one point I knew this, but I forgot about it because I never want duplicates, slowly forgetting what Union() was doing.

*This time* however, the duplicates are required and it all goes to crap without them.

Save me, Concat()!

You can run but you can't hide from noobery.

Blahb;asdfabnahsdfa.

Company paid 1,500 usd per laptop (dell somethings) for them to just be azure access clients

We can't use outlook or teams. Or even IDEs on them to take advantage of the really good cpu and ram. We have to use the OTHER company device for that stuff

Ohhh and all our azure stuff is getting mac restricted so only the new laptops can access so basically forced to jump back and forth all damn day

Sometimes I feel companies enjoy wasting money

Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes

Heres a rant you dont see everyday, the lazy gits in my office who dont clean up after themselves. Go to the kitchen to make coffee only to be confronted by a mountain of dishes, the peak of which may have been level with High Hrothgar. Had to dry them and put them away before I could really even move. Like just wash something after you use it, then take the extra 20 seconds to dry it and put it away, dont just rinse it and then leave it sitting there. AAARRRGGGHHHH

Am I the only one that can't stand non-maximized windows on Windows but hate maximized windows on Mac?

Could this be a psychological phenomenon in which the designs of these systems make you use them in a specific way? Or am I just retarded?

Anyone else does the same?

if the documentation of a class just has a table of function params and return types without any example snippets of how to use them, fuck you and your entire stack and your entire docs.

So many businesses, even if successful by targetting companies and contacting them themselves, can't get a website that actually tells what the fuck they do or offer, you can use your business buzzwords, smash some "marketing" here and there, but seriously, how would I know what you're actually doing, if I just stumble across your website and would even want to do any business with you, if all your pages are filled with absolute non-sense.

I would love to see the environment that the Mac OS X team works in.

Do they work in all cubicles? Is it more of an open space? Do they use the latest Macs? If so, do they use all Apple hardware? Or do they swap out keyboards/mice with ones that they prefer? Which secondary displays they use etc.

I just wonder if the professional Mac OS X developers actually use their Macs the same way that Apple wants their customers to use them.

I will never fully understand why some people think command line package managers are "more complicated" than searching for and downloading software through the web browser.

I feel like the only reason why they think this is because the command line is not a user-friendly tool to them. All of my friends on Discord use Windows, and after showing them what a fantastic tool the Chocolatey package manager is, they don't want to have anything to do with it, because it involves entering commands.

I give up. If they don't want to use this amazing tool, that's their loss, not mine. I will just continue to run

> choco upgrade outdated -y

and update all of my programs with a single command, while they have to download installers and manually go through the setups.

So, as you may be aware, I work as solo dev for small company. There is easly enough work for team, but I digress..

So, they wanted to stay updated whats progress on some projects. We use slack. I use git. I set up account for them so they can come into my git and controll if issues are solved, etc. I wont get started about any dev ever beeing judged by how much code is outputted, beyond scope of this.

So they started bitching about that git is too technical and too complicated and shit. They made bizzare bullshit google excel (not even in polish) and stupidass form to "audit issues". Hmm.. wtf. I just didnt use it becouse it was slowing me down and was just frustrating, how one can replace git + issue tracker with fucking spreadsheet?!

Okay, so having that aside, I complained about that so they were like "okay, so you want to use git and we want to be notified. whats your solution" me "oh, you want to stay notified, thats easy, I can plug my git into slack"

Now our slack is spammed to oblivion with git notifications.

Now they are annoyed that they are too notified. (Yes I consulted with them what will be plugged into slack)

Oh well

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So Vivo made a bezeless phone this time
But guess what its again gonna contain a fucking kazillion Megapixel Selfie camera with Mars Light Flash to make you look Unique paired with a shit mediatek Processor.
Also,
They have got stones from krypton and their next phone is gonna have krypton light flash just so the fuckin superman can't use that just because they partnered with marvel to get infinity stones so that they can use them in their later phones as a light for the selfie flash.
Guess what? Thanos preodered it ..
Well Played Vivo

I just don't get people designing database tables using VARCHAR/VARCHAR2 for columns that have numeric values in them, then use them as row identifiers.

I simply don't.

On a personal project, running some tests.
I had errors in specific tests, I just removed them and added a comment:
// We assume the user will use it as intended

I just noticed that MomentJS discourages the use of its own library in the docs homepage.

I think it must have been hard, so honor to them

I love the whole NodeSchool thing, so not really a dis to them - but this is a good example of some of the problems I have with web tutorials. I think things like npm should be explained before you have someone use them. Just like jQuery, you can end up with a majority of people taking parts of their stack for granted.

Good to see people are learning and don't use hard coded credentials and store them in the DB.
Now they just have to quit putting them into migration files

Anyone of you use Jetbrains IDE‘s? I love them but sometimes, they have weird bugs and it just triggers me everytime so hard, I could take my Computer and throw it out the window.

How the fuck do classes work in Python? Why, exactly, do people make them for themselves? I get doing it for like making modules other people will use, but just for your own shit...?

I kind of don’t like OOP. There I said it.
Don’t get me wrong there are times I like using it. I don’t mind some of the features but I can rarely find times I want to use them.

It can be useful depending on the project but I mostly don’t use it and when I’m using Python I always feel like I have to? I know Python offers multiple types paradigms of programming to use but everyone’s making a big deal about OOP and I can rarely ever find uses for it. What I said for Python also goes for C++ I feel like I’m forced to do it. And I especially hate it in C++ fuck that.

I’d just like to use Python, and C++ without using it or if I do not have to use all the fancy features. And kinda wish Java and C# didn’t force OOP on you but I just don’t use all the fancy features in those languages (I don’t even use java but I’m mostly talking about C# for that one).

It’s not that I don’t know how to use it it’s that I can never find a use for any of the features or just don’t want to actually do it. Personally I only really see it shining in Game development, GUI development, and MAYBE network programming??

By all means I’m not trying to flame on OOP, I just wanted to throw my OOPinion (HA) on the matter. in fact you can tell me why you like it or dislike it. I’d like to discuss the topic with anyone.

Still remember my first year of university, listening to the full professor (i. e. she has a frickin PhD). She couldn't explain the difference between ++i and i++. When I tried to tell her what they meant, she dropped this gem: "oh, I just wrap them in parentheses to be safe so it makes no difference which one I use."
Luckily, future profs were much better.

FUCK NEXTJS

The STUPID STUPID STUPID Server components force me to create 123953298341923 files just to add a FUCKING "use client" and the top that basically turns this fucking mess into basic barebones React

WOW. Let's have 34 million libraries in our project and then let's not use them with one fucking keyword that forces me to write my 10 components project as a 300 million files project

Then, I LOVE that all my FUCKING FILES ARE NAMED PAGE

That makes things easy

NextJS can fuck itself

Dear god, tried to explain to my mum how to use a computer. Wait for spring creators update...😓
Everything went ... decent: learn opening different windows, closing them again, explaining functionality, which areas/buttons/etc.. are interactive ... and then comes the browser with its tabs😓
the only program which can open multiple "instances" of itself ... in itself. How to explain that? (i know that's probably not correct but that's the only way i can explain it) Needless to say she hasn't figured out how to use broswer tabs and what they are there for.
An now "Sets" come to windows. Oh boy how to teach that...?😥
... I'll probably just never show her just to keep safe😅

Reading code takes time!

Everytime I read:
"var" or "auto" Add: 10s
- Just use the type

Everytime I read:
if(Expression1 && Expression() ? GetNumber() : 0 > 0) Add: 30s
- Just write two if statements or create two bools the line above.

Everytime I read:
delegate = () => {} Add another 5 minutes of reading time.
- Just write a separate function for it. It helps with searching and understand what it does

Please code like the person that needs to check your code or change it just knows basic coding skills and logics.

I do know all these concepts I just never use them because it makes the code unreadable. hard to follow, mistakes that can happen everywhere. difficult to search.

And it frustrates that I need to read 10 extra lines to understand code flow or hover my mouse in an IDE to figure out what type object it is.

It's properly just me... I just like clean readable code. that is logical and failsafe and strict and deterministic with its behavior

Going to put my 2 cents on the Microsoft to use chromium based back ends.

I would personally prefer if Microsoft did a fork of the modules they are using and custom tailor them more, just that way edge will still be what it is but will have a much more matured backend (you can't deny Google has made more progress than Microsoft in this respect).

I agree that it is bad for Microsoft to go to chromium but it's an up hill battle for them to get edge as a legitimate competitor for Firefox and Chrome with as little maturity that it has

It’s 2019.
* Google employee reviews.
* Maybe check out how volatile their stock prices are (if they’re publicly traded).
* Use LinkedIn to find their employees and then stalk them on Facebook and see what kind of content they post.
* If you can’t tell from that, just DM them. Tell them why you’re contacting them and ask for their honest opinion.

I just realized the problem I have with my team is that a lot of people don't seem to be any smarter than computers..

Usually when i tell someone to do something, I tell them overall goal and give them a general direction, the first step I would do. And well then tell them to go work out the details from there or come back to me if they have a **specific** problem.

1 month later I check back in and they're like I emailed ..., Still waiting for them to reply.

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

Can't you be a little more resourceful or creative, try looking for another way... Human....

I understand that, at least for now, I still need to tell computers exactly what to do and how handle errors...

But you're not a computer and the whole point of telling you to do something is I expect you to use your brain and think for yourself when something unexpected happens...

nested ternary operators

like/dislike?

I used to hate them cuz I would have to break them apart just to understand them, but now I use ternary operators so much, nesting at least one level is ok for me.

but i'm the only person that reads my code, what's the concensus.. nesting one level bad?

I wouldn't want someone reviewing my code if they couldn't wrap their head around a simple ternary, so if only myself or people more experienced than myself will ever read them, then fuck it, i'm using them

Client: Can you put all the add on products we sell into the MDSL (Master Daily Sales Log)

Why aren't you adding them to the new console system? It allows you to add them and tracks all actions on the sale.

Client: The Health Agents don't know how to do that, and I think the manger hasn't added them into the system....yup he didn't add them.

Me: So how are you tracking the addon products you are selling?

Client: I don't know. Can you just add them to the MDSL.

Me: I wrote the console system to replace the MDSL, why are you using the spaghetti code system I wrote 8 years ago?

Client: They like it better because of this one report they use.

Me: I rewrote that report for the new system and it even gives more info.

Client: But the owner doesn't trust it, because it shows conversions and sales instead of just sales.

Me: ...

Asked our developers to build a site framework that can scale globally for all our brands.

Tell them to start with these 3 brands

They tell me they will use Drupal for the base, fair enough, i did pick them as they listed ex extensive drupal skills on their resume

Let them work on it, then time comes to deliver and I get handed 3 completely separate drupal sites that are just simply 3 individual commerce Kickstart sites with some really bad themes applied.

Asked what the fuck this is and get told that 'multi-site was too difficult and' is still a goal platform /framework​ because you can run multiple Drupal sites on one server.'

These people were hired and their resumes said things like' drupal multi-site developer'

Needless to say I get to hire the devs now.

Twitter comments are shit
How the fuck to use them? Why don't they just show one under another? If post has more than 2 replies it can be clicked to open its direct replies, some of them are shown in main thread, some of them are shown under opened thread. Some replies from main thread are shown under child thread. And to make it even worse any comment of sub thread can be expanded as well showing some random replies that could be expanded recursievly so you may end in main thread again. It is just impossible to read all replies in chonological order. Show me the moron who made this, I wanna kill him....

Although I didnt get my degree yet i can say that i already knew that university wont teach me shit. Im already at second semester and im currently planning on skipping (passing early) half of the courses.

Most of the knowlege i will gain surely will come from personal projects and research. Some people forget that uni just gives you the oppurtunity and the tools and that is your resposibility to use them and learn by yourself as well.

Dear Microsoft: I don't care if Edge or any other of your in-house developed software is faster than the alternatives, it's about quality not speed.

If you design quality products people will use them, just because they are "faster" doesn't mean shit.

My phone has a useless Google Discover page on home screen that I can't use without singing in with Google and agreeing to them collecting data. 😐

So now I have a useless page on my home screen. (Really, somebody needs to make a layering over app for this shit that just gets my preferred feed and fill it here to makes use of this space. )

Not sure if I am Allowed to ask general questions here but here's the thing. I just began making Android apps. I have made a few basic of them and I use constraint layout via the layout editor in Android Studio. Is it okay? Do professionals do the same or do they actually type in the xml code?

I want to implement a functionality, I use framework X with cms Y.

40% of the libraries I find are outdated, 20% just don't work, 20% offer partial functionality but don't do what I want them to do and the rest just seem excruciatingly hard to implement

I'll try to put something together myself, not sure how it will work out