Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "shit dev"
Dev: Microsoft is shit
VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)
Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys
VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)65
*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*
Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"
*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*
GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"
Me: "So what's your ring size again"7
Fuck today was weird.
Today I received almost half a million on my bank account. 😯
Someone changed the ancient cryptic billing system. My user account at work has id 32 in the database, and the dev referenced the size of the creditor id instead of the of the value of the ids itself, and they're u32 ints... So ALL the money moving through our platform was accidentally transferred to my associated bank account.
For all the unit tests we have, this bug tumbled right through.
And no one at finances thought a transfer that big, to a backend dev they know by name, was suspicious — with almost no money going to other creditors...
That worries me a bit. The fact that this shit can happen, even at high test coverage, just because someone mindlessly did a wrong autocomplete or something.
Of course I will send it back... after two weeks and a few hundred € of interest.13
Ooooooh I just skip a heart attack and shit myself at the same time, thank god for error "can not delete database, database is in use"8
> be me
> want to write troll "viruses" to fck arround with frieds
> write batch files
> shit everyone can see what I do
> google 'how to make exe'
> install VS
> google 'make exe with vb.net'
> spend 3hr/s copying the Internet
> send friend exe
> blocked by antivirus
> write other bullshit
> actually learn stuff
> shit I'm kinda good at this
> keep going
> 4 years later
> be system administrator / devop / web dev / app dev / desktop dev
> get paid
> inb4 wants to troll friend - finds dream job instead7
Dev: why should I develop windows phone apps. Almost nobody uses this kind of shit.
Customer: Why should I use a fucking windows phone. The windows app store is as empty as a ghost town.32
I use a lot of dev tools, but one of my favorites is the Linux screen utility. It's awesome to be able to keep shit running on servers whether my laptop stays connected tot he server or not. It's great for jobs that take a long time, can't get interrupted, etc.
If you haven't used screen definitely give it a try!18
That moment when you spend an entire afternoon trying to eradicate a problem but give up at the end of the day, and then solve it in 10minutes the next morning.
Damn you dev life !12
Normal app: "DEV I NEED THIS, 1 STAR. WITHOUT THIS IS SHIT"
devrant app: "Guys, I've created a client for desktop computer for devrant, tell me if I can upgrade anymore"
Such beautiful community ♥4
Me: Hey Google, open devrant
Google: Results for dev brand
Me: open devrant
Google: Results for dev hand
Me: No! open "dev" "rant"
Google: Results of some dude named Dev Randhawa
Me: Dammit open devrant
Google: Dewa rent? Electricity bill paying sites of some town called dewa.
Me: Open d.e.v.r.a.n.t
Google: Opens Google play song from Kevin Durant.
Me: gives up and listens to Kevin Durant sing some shit about LeBron James.11
How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)
Is this day going to end or what?54
Life story of every Dev in nutshell :
Everything is working perfectly as expected and no body congratulates Dev and no one gives a shit.
Single thing is broken and the whole universe be like : "Where the fuck is that son of a b*tch? Bring that bastard in front of me right now."
Advising a person about a code that he has created and you don't know shit about. In dev culture it is considered a dick move.😑10
Client: "We are extremely satisfied with your great work for almost three years now and we are super thrilled to work with you in the future and benefit from your amazing work."
Dev: *makes one tiny little mistake*
Client: "Oh burn in hell you cock sucking piece of shit!"4
Yesterday was Friday the 13th, so here is a list of my worst dev nightmares without order of significance:
1) Dealing with multithreaded code, especially on Android
3) Dependency hell, especially in Python
5) Memory Leaks
6) git conflicts
7) Crazy regexes and string manipulations
8) css. Fuck css.
9) not knowing jack shit about something but expected by others to
produce a result with it.
10) 3+ hours of debugging with no success
dev 1: so what are you working on these days?
dev 2: some wordpress project.
dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?
dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?
You know your idea was shit when you ask a freelance dev to make it for you, get denied and then see your idea being ranted about on devrant...7
This annoying fuck is the single most hated guy on youtube PERIOD.
Every time I try to watch a tutorial or some gameplay demo this fucking cunt comes up with his piece of shit game dev course.32
If I had a dev superpower it would be the ability to generate 3D printed objects at will so I could have more cool shit on my desktop.11
How to be a Dev:
Step 1: have a great idea
Step 2: start work on great idea
Step 3: read a blog about someone who also has a great idea and finishes it quicker than you prototype it
Step 4: check back daily and see them gloat about how much money, fame and shit they got from said idea
Step 4: rant about it on Dev rant to vent anger9
1st post. Not sure if rant.
> Join 1st job after college.
> Desk assigned is close to a senior dev
> Random day, QA asks senior dev questions on something and coincidentally I happened to be working on the same thing.
> Senior dev borrows my system and explains qa something.
> By the end of explanation senior dev had bunch of shell commands written on notepasd on my machine.
> I don't understand jack shit of whats happening.
> QA looks at me and says, "Ping me once."
> I think, "no idea what just happened but must be something related to network ."
> I open terminal and type "ping" and quitely wait for further instructions (address to ping that is).
> Everyone starts laughing their asses off.
> QA guy opens slack, and sends himself the commands on text document.
> I realize what just happened
> Laugh awkwardly with everyone to ease the pressure
Just scared the shit out of my little brother with a bluetooth keyboard. Now he'll never ask for my phone again.12
Me : right, I should replace my multiple cases in my switch with a regex so that code will be prettier
Also me : oh shit I don't know how regex works, I forgot, I'm a dumb piece of shit I should ask my dev friends how to do it
Then again, me : Oh shit I don't have any friends12
Anyone who looked at me yesterday would see a pissed off dev with the highest rate of wtf/minute to the screen gesturing and force palming constantly.
I'm a back end dev.
I made a front end code have 90% (?!?!?!) less code, more readable and I can say for sure 10x faster.
There was a fucking setTimeout() with 5 seconds delay to do something that doesn't even need to wait...
Fuck this shit lol.2
So I have this best friend who is almost 10 years younger than me. (I'm turning 40 this month). He's a full stack web dev, nodejs-god, react-maniac, you name it. He fucking LIVES to code the most amazing shit I have seen to date.
Sitting next to him and doing some fun coding sessions always makes me feel like I am that "slow, fat kid in class"... while he is the coding master.
Sitting at work (marketing agency) where I started as the new webdev 10 months ago, I still feel like the coding guru because even the web 'developers' don't know jack shit yet (coz they never had to).
It's fine, they are learning and want to learn.
All I wanna say that even though one might be seen as a senior dev by some, he might sometimes feel like a junior dev when he's around others.2
I have always thought that I am to dumb to become a dev, but after a few years doing sysadmin shit I have realized that even the most stupid, dumb and idiotic people can be a wordpress developer!
There is still hope for me10
Fuck you google chrome ...just because I use Windows and have only 4 gigs of RAM doesn't mean you can just shit on my RAM.27
I get really tired of people shitting on php and getting greated with immediate laughter when I say I work as a full stack LEMP/LAMP dev. I work just as hard as you (ruby/python/node devs) do and feel like I make some pretty cool shit.
Why can't we all just agree we do great things with our tools and while I may use a different hammer than you, we still use the same nails!!!19
I fucking hate politics. Can we just stick to dev shit on here? Please? That's the only reason I'm here.6
My boss codes, I'm lead Dev:
Boss: "just finished an MVP of the X project. It's 3 files and 1800 lines of code, plus triggers... "
Boss: "yup, your shit, you'll be refactoring it"
Reviewing coworker's code:
Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*
Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️25
People be cleaning their desks and shit, pfft.
Here's my desk, Professional caffeine + nicotine addict (aka - "full stack" Dev)11
Been a jr. dev at a company that's badly in need of more devs. So they hire a sr. dev to work w/ me. Dude's got yrs of xp over me, so he should be ramped up in no time, right?
Jk, he doesn't even know the basics of git. Also, his code is shit. If he's not let go anytime soon, at least I'll look awesome relative to this guy come performance reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.3
Me: walks into a coffee shop and orders a latte
Barista-1: can you cover for me tomorrow.
Barista-2: I am busy with family. Do you have plans?
B-2: are you sick?
B-1: yeah! My throat hurts soooo much and I can hardly breath!
B-2: ahhhhh. That’s too sad.
B-1: commences to make my latte while breaking heavily into it.
Me: Walks the fuck away.
Fuck. That. Shit.
The $6 it costs for that latte isn’t worth missing a week of paying work with the flu!
I got no time for that type of shit. Stay the fuck home for fuck sakes.10
>I hate front-end dev, but I can do it. I hate switching between markup, styling, and logic.
>I like back-end and low level programming
>stay unemployed for a year and a half, because all offers are for React and Angular
>find backend job, yay
>they actually make me work on front-end shit
>mfw pic related9
How to be the Dev with no friends
"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"
Voila: ur life is ruined now16
After I lost a months of work, I was assigned a bug to retest.
Well, something wasn't right. The results were not as expected.
I sat with developer for entire day. We fought, we laughed, we were frustrated, we were trying hard. We literally had no time to even take a leak. We struggled while my entire team was enjoying gala time jerking off each other.
Seniors and managers didn't help when we seeked for help.
Struggled like shit. And found a major bug in one of our earlier realises which is running in production for top clients. Just to remind you, this bug might cause few million dollars of financial loss if that feature is executed.
Well, we report it immediately. My dev friend was excited that we'll be appreciated and rewarded for this discovery. I was sceptical and afraid already because I know shit heads who rule us.
It was observed that one of our other manager was responsible for testing this functionality when it was built and it was missed by her.
Fuck!!! Nobody says a word. And I and my dev friend get questioned that why wasn't it detected earlier.
What the fuck!!! We didn't even know such a functionality existed. We never worked on it. It was missed by some asshole and we get blamed.
Look on my dev friend's face when we were being bashed for no reason was priceless 😂
I could see his world getting shattered.
I stood up for him and myself. Defended ourselves and by now, I have enough experience to game the system.
So I get ourselves out safely and teach my dev friend this valuable lesson on how to deal with shit heads in such situations.
Another corporate lesson: never get excited for reporting something which others missed as it will be dumped upon you and you'll be fucked for doing good.4
I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.
Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.
Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.
Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.
Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.
*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*
Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.
FUCK THIS SHIT.3
I love it how in Settlers 3 tutorial mission, the second test instruction is “Please, don’t press any buttons until asked.”
I can just imagine the devs testing the game, trying to come up with ways to keep the playtesters from failing the tutorial, but they still fucking failed. In the end one dev was just like “FUCK THIS SHIT. Just ask them not to press any buttons until asked.”4
Guys, I think it's time to fight back!
Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!
Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!2
My first Dev job involved password resets. Quickly created a GUI for that shit and passed it off to IT support.
Overheard 2 colleagues having an interesting telephonic meeting late night at my room.
Dev 1: Wait. I am trying to fix it.
Dev 2: Ok. Take your time
Dev 1: Shit. I found it. I knew I was doing something wrong here.
Dev 2: Oh. Nice. What was the bug?
Dev 1: It was a super silly mistake. Don't want to tell. Folks will laugh at me.
Dev 2: Don't worry. It happens with everyone. Come tomorrow at office, and whisper it in my ears. Noone will know.8
If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?5
I learned a valuable lesson today about the life of a manager. I’m not a manager, but I am a senior level dev.
Today I was told there wasn’t room on the new team for 1 person, and I had pick that last team member. I had to choose between a friend who really isn’t cut out to be a dev and a non friend who is a better dev.
I talked through my reasoning and ultimately chose to put the friends job in jeopardy. They told me that I had solid leadership traits for being able to separate my emotions from my decision making. But I felt like a piece of shit.
I cried back at my desk. The friend doesn’t know yet and I can’t tell them. Is this what execs feel when they have to let people go?14
Computer Science is a mysterious world of three kinds of devs, irrespective of what background/profile/language they had/worked in.
The ones at the top, who keep doing crazy shit in big companies or open-source and keep adding material to the unstoppable code flowing. These constitute 5% of the dev community.
The remaining 15% in the middle are the "experienced" fellows who keep building shit to get to the top 5%. They work on enterprise/commercial software until the next upgrade and while the wallets keep getting fatter, they don't actually contribute to the community.
This is the part where I want people to understand the power of a dev.
What sets apart programmers/devs from other engineers:
while everyone else is busy solving the current issues/requirements of the world, we devs are the ones who 'build'.
With a right motive, a developer can solve in-numerous problems of the society, be it education, poverty or unemployment.
An experiment by Lee to put data on the web created a world of unforeseeable opportunities.
Hope to see more of Musks and less of Zuckerbergs in the future.10
Let me just delete this symbolic link and leave it copying the folder to the ssd real quick while I go to lunch...
1 - don't put a fucking / at the end of `rm -rf /path/to/link`
2 - don't ignore the warning of it being a folder after trying to `rm /path/to/link`
3 - backup your fucking dev database too
4 - don't do stuff hungry
A list of Stux's !dev pet peeves.
1) Slow walking (elderly or visibly injured dont count most of the time) people in busy grocery stores. Like please move. I've got shit to do.
2) Thot bots on Instagram.
3) people who leave 2 or 3 car links between them and the car in front of them at a stoplight. I'm not saying you need to be touching their vehicle, but move closer damn.
4) People that say shit like "if you believe x, then unfollow me." Grow up and get over yourself. People are allowed opinions you asshat.
My name is Stuxnet and thank you for attending my TED talk.22
I can't believe how quickly this community has grown! Absolutely amazing to see so many like-minded people I can relate to 😊. Before devRant I had (I shit you not) 1 fellow dev that I could talk to.. Now I have a ton 😄5
Writing inappropriate debug messages in dev, then forgetting to remove them.
It always fun explaining why the API responds with "SHIT!" when a 500 error occurs2
That feeling when your client connection is more stable than the connection of a fucking game server... Incompetent pieces of shit!!! BEING ABLE TO PUT A COUPLE OF SPRITES DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FUCKING SYSADMIN!!!
Oh and I sent those very incompetent fucks a mail earlier, because my mailers are blocking their servers as per my mailers' security policy. A rant from the old box - their mail servers self-identify a fucking .local!!! Those incompetent shitheads didn't even properly change the values from test into those from prod!! So I sent them an email telling them exactly how they should fix it, as I am running the same MTA on my mailers (Postfix), at some point had to fix my mailers against the exact same issue as well, and clearly noticed in-game that they have deliverability problems (they explicitly mention to unblock their domain). Guess why?! Because their server's shitty configuration triggers fucking security mechanisms that are built against rogue mailers that attempt to spoof themselves as an internal mailer, with that fucking .local! And they STILL DIDN'T CHANGE IT!!!! Your fucking domain has no issues whatsoever, it's your goddamn fucking mail servers that YOU ASOBIMO FUCKERS SHOULD JUST FIX ALREADY!!! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!3
Junior dev:Hey,see my code works :)
*After analysis of code*
Senior dev:Let's talk about complexity bro
Junior dev: shit :(
"Wtf, people really do this shit..."
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3
I actually like Microsoft these days. Despite developing on Mac machines, we use VSTS for code repo, build/release pipelines and work item tracking, and Azure for all things cloud. It all works incredibly well together and at low cost.
Microsoft has changed ethos massively in the last few years. In my opinion, the classic dev mantra of “Microsoft is shit and evil, Linux is flawless” is outdated and getting kind of boring.6
Some of y'all talk way too much shit about web development tools/libs without being web devs yourselves......
I don't know enough about OS development to talk shit, you see me doing it? no
fk me I am getting so fucking fed up with this community, it used to be cool rants about the shit that we go through, now is just pop wannabe dev ranting meme bullshit57
Just saw this, people competing who's gonna put coolest shit inside 140 characters
Some serious (js)dev porn inside9
Indian software/hardware devs have a horrible reputation, at least here in europe.
My, my father and every dev I know have had horrible experiences with Indian dev work(both as colleagues of my father and contractors); horrible Spaghetti code that perfoms like shit, crappy pcb layouts prone to failure and much more. All made by people with shiny diplomas.
I'd like to know why this is the case, especially becauseany devRanters are Indians.45
God fucking dammit.
I got assigned to a WordPress project...
I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!
Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.
Dear wordpress developers,
Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.
"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.
"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
"about code, tech and *life*"
For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.7
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.
Shit falls on me since he ain't here.
Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....
Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.
Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification...
Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.
For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.
Fellow dev complaining about server.
Me: My servers could handle the 10x traffic. If they weren't busy apologising for your shit codebase !
*First Rant btw*6
I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk15
When your peer dev is ++'ing your shit on devRant instead of git pushing the project so you can work on it too 😒 @filipe0957
Now with the newborn I really feel compleet :/
Bullshit in the morning from QA.. Horseshit in the afternoon from PM and all kinds of crap from the boss..
And finally some babypoo in the middle of the night4
Hello guys, here is my first rant about my job. So, I work in marketing, mostly content and SEO as the main job and my 2nd job is a somewhat-somehow webgrafic design-something (blame my fiancee for this). This one is about my content job.
As a content, my main role is to translate information (health tech, tech or anything) in a somewhat comprehensive way so about anybody can read my articles. And boy, I love my job, the research part, the writing part, almost everything. But on some days I have to find a way to explain protozoa to normal people. Aaaaaand today I have to explain this shit!
Now, how the f*ck I will manage this, I have no darn clue but I am starting to learn how my dev fiancee feels when he has to explain some complicated stuff to his clients, I swear!9
My fellow coworker dev just sent a staging site link to our CFO to review some new functionality...
CFO clicks on our corporate HQ link in coworker's email signature instead and berates coworker for sending him the wrong link...
This person is somewhat largely in charge of making decisions that affect our digital marketing, website budgets, and strategy.
I can't make this shit up.6
The fucking hubris on some people... If you don't understand git, in a shop that uses git, how in the name of fucking odin's nutsack do you think you're qualified to be a senior dev? I'm not talking understanding the internals of git, I'm talking knowing WTF a branch even is! Oh, I know, its because you eat lunch with the bossman! Cronyisn is alive and well folks! Now I gotta fix all this shit, or its my fault...3
The senior dev is mentoring our new recruit.
😨 I know, my face too.
When the newbie asked how to deploy, senior dev says, "Well, we copy and paste this folder from your local box to the server you need to deploy it on. Much better than that git shit, you have so much more control!"
Last week I was erasing a 2Gb USB thumb while copying some really important shit to my backup disk. I look at the terminal and see it's taking a lot of time to did zeroes on dev/sdb.
Then I realized that dev/sdb is the backups drive and I just erased the firsts sectors of my only fucking backup.
It's ok, I said, let's see what can TestDisk do for me. And it only could find an empty sad partition that had useless shit on it. Whdd couldn't even find the drive. Cat and dd vomited 160Gb of nothing to a file that couldn't be read. I was lost, because I failed doing something I'm really good at. And I did it because I was to stupid to check fstab...
It's the very first time I couldn't recover data, so I'm thinking about delete "Data recovery" from my resume skills and put "Data cleaning. Really effective. I can send you 160Gb of pure horse shit to prove it" instead.2
Software engineering is becoming main stream.
It will become the average job in the future. Anyone who cant dev is going to be poor and do the dirtiest jobs.
Dev average income is going to drop， mainly because a shit loads of frameworks and dumbification of software and code creation will be set in place to accomodate large population as devs.
The will create a seperation between the normal idiot dev who will be paid minimum wage and the smart ones that create the frameworks and dumbed down code creating tools.
Its oversimplified obviously because im not taking into account sys admin and so on but in general it will follow that trend. Its like this today but because there isnt enough devs， idiots are still revered and payed big bucks.
Give it 50 to 75 years imo.5
Worst dev advice?
Mgr: "Stop trying to use that agile shit for your projects. Waterfall is the only way proper application development is done."3
Holy shit, wow I did not see that coming at all. I've this is all I've ever dreamed of as web dev but now I'm not too sure how I feel. Edge gone, safari dying and Firefox struggling...
I wanted one web standard, not one browser engine.10
!dev && !rant
My sister is getting married tomorrow. My cousin will get married in 3 weeks.. a good friend of mine just became a mom.
They’re all about my age.
This made me realize i only have about 2 friends which I see once every few months, don’t meet any new people, don’t take care of my physical health and haven’t been in a relationship for about 7 years by now.
I started working as a dev 8 years ago and really sacrificed my life to the 2 companies I worked for.
I own nice cars and make good money (relatively spoken) , but for me I know I really have to get my shit together and start to actually get a personal / social life.
So I decided to quit my job and move to another country where I feel like I fit in (posted about the idea to do this a while ago and devs here were super supportive, thanks for that guys)
From now on, I’ll make sure to have a good work-life balance and take more care of myself.
Otherwise, success and money ain’t worth shit..
A good weekend to all of you and happy coding.4
Had to change my avatars clothes, dont want people thinking i dont wash.
Went to check my closet on the app, shit... Im a poor bastard. Dont have enough money, cough i mean points to get that new pair of shoes ive been eyeing.
Got me thinking, we are all essentially sugar mommies and daddies. I always wanted to give that a go, so far im liking it.
Long story short - thanks for this space everyone including the community
#liveLongAndProsper Dev Rant2
Which type of dev are you?
1. I exercise/ workout regularly :)
2. I want to. But I ain't got no time for that :|
3. I don't believe in that shit :(
PS: I see some sw engineers in my gym.55
!rant && thanksgivings.
Sure we troll here. Sure we preach strangers here. Sure we hug unconditionally here. But everything is all cool.
I haven't been here very long but I found this community very good to communicate. In fact, we are talking more than dev related things. But I literally don't see any conflict or well.. shit posts/comments.
Really thankful for that. To everyone.1
Giving up/panicking/talking myself down when shit gets difficult ;/.
I always want stuff to work immediately, and I hate it when I don't understand something.
But since this is such a big part of working in dev, I should learn to keep going!2
On negotiation and signing contract
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
Start working for about 1 month
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.2
Wow VSCode has gotten a lot better for Web Dev. JSDocs actually works and can be used to find functions from other modules (aka real Intellisense).
This could change my feelings about JS... now just need to get everyone else on my team to document their shit... uhm... I mean code.1
Really hate being the only programmer around my town and it's other nearby towns...
Really wish I could just meet up with a dev friend for a pint or 12 and just talk programming shit to each other but nope .-.
(Calling all aussie devs in the latrobe valley)6
HOLY FUCK (!dev) SOMEONE KILL THE MANAGEMENT OF DEUTSCHE BAHN ALREADY
Seriously where can I complain? delays on every single train i was on since weeks. and always because of some stupid shit like "we need to let another train pass by". wtf you didnt know that earlier?15
Me talking with my manager for handover before I leave. Just found out, there is an interview for my position, full stack dev.
No one bother asking me or the manager for tech interview and general manager from business interview alone by herself.
Manager: Do you code?
Poor soul: Yes, I do.
Manager: You are hired!
Shit, now I want to know what they ask to tech candidate without tech ppl.6
Had coffee in the late evening.
And can’t fall asleep till now.
Browsed fb for abit.
Saw someone shared some scary shit.
Shook to the core.
Opened dev rant.
Heart felt almost instantly at ease.
Thank u Devrant 😭4
We developed an application and deployed on production (but not launched)
And business team already created lot of garbage or dummy data. Reporting systems are huge pile of bars, stats and shit.
Now, has to destroy and clean production.
Already advise them to do experiments or testing dev or staging.
Damn. First time in my career experienced this. Has to delete production.4
4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.3
Reviewed some Unity game code yesterday
[HideInInspector] public NavMeshAgent agent;
Me:”why is this hidden if it’s public”
Dev: “so designers don’t fuck it up”
Me: “then why have it public”
Dev: “I need it to be set by another class”
Me: “then make it a private bar and create a get:set function”
Me: “Because hiding a public variables from designers is a bad model and by standards things now to be shown to the inspector should be private”
This shit is why I have no confidence in devs my age10
We have this important product with deadline closing in. Dev who was working on it for months went on vacation. Bugs came out, no comments in the code, no docs, some of the variables are as verbose as var abc = "some weird shit"; and I'm tasked with trying to test, fix algorithms and instruct on how to use it.
This isn't first time happening, so I'm dusting off my CV this weekend.5
In my web dev languages class today I went to try the feature to test the site through VS. Literally every browser BUT Edge would load... Even a Microsoft product knows that Edge is shit.
My wife is sick, my infant daughter is teething, and my toddler son won't stop begging for fruit snacks. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in the last 48 hours.
And now, I have to work on my weekend, since our division refuses to say "No, that wasn't in the scope of work" to another business unit and put them in their place. They're lucky they're getting the feature they requested 6 weeks from launch _at all_, let alone with the extras that they requested 4 weeks from launch. Now it's on my shoulders to fix this bullshit because they won't pony up extra budget to pay the external dev shop we used (who failed to implement said features in a timely fashion) to fix this shit.
I really need to get my business shit together and start consulting on my terms. Working for other people can suck a fuck.4
Was invited to work on a new startup which had 2 founders and 3 devs including me.
Within 2 years, founders started fighting related to equity and stuff. Those mfs Finally dissolved the company.
We 3 became jobless but continued as a team and with the contacts we got from previous startup we started working on projects outsourced by other companies.
I was the designer, and the other one a passionate android and ios dev, last one was a pro php, node.js dev. We were super productive and fast. Worked together alot until one of us got a really good job in a company.
We still work on some crazy projects, discuss random shit, help each other with their projects whenever we meet on weekends.
I moved from React Dev to fullstack like halve a year ago. Three months ago I became project lead and now I will start to become a team lead.
Holy shit I'm growing fast2
A few days ago, the Senior Director of our department came over to the dev team and asked the senior developers to gather around, and she informed us that a competitor was talking shit about our company's websites on Twitter, and she asked us to tear the competitor's site apart and find everything wrong with it from a technical standpoint so she could retaliate. We ripped the competitor's site apart and found that they were using a stock WordPress template that they purchased for $50. And here they were talking shit about OUR websites!
She took our findings and reached out to the competitor, politely suggesting that they take can their stock WordPress site and shove it.
They promptly deleted their Twitter post.2
How the actual fuck are we expected to know this many languages / frameworks / libraries for a web dev interview? This shit is RIDICULOUS. No one can honestly say they're half proficient at any of this stuff if they have to know ALL of it. Is this the only way to get a job these days? This sucks balls!7
You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy12
What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!9
So I’ve been working for this company for +4 years. When I started we were 6 dev. Now we are 1. It’s just me. Thankfully I’m leaving next week to start at another company. But right now I’m kinda loosing my mind. I have a deadline tomorrow and I’m super stressed because I’m not done. I have bugs to fix, documentation to write and all that stuff. I’m pissed off because people don’t understand what I do, why it takes time, why I want to be alone at home just coding instead of sitting at the office being interrupted with stupid ass questions about html or upcoming project. I don’t give a fuck about their clients or upcoming projects. I’m only working for them 7 more days and then they have 0 dev left. Fuck them. Fuck the CEO, fucking piece of shit. Can’t wait to flip them off leaving next week.12
Anyone else having the same experience with dev rant?
The algo or whatever is now only showing me things I've already seen. Couple new posts then just a shit tonne of repeated content, most I've already ++'d.
The last week in here has been boring as af because it's all stale content...7
Don't you feel sometimes like you may not be as good dev as you think you are? Like all you do is search for chunks of code in stackoverflow so you can assamble a semi functional project.
I'm having one of those days, and it just feels like shit.6
Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.2
Sometimes you need someone to be your /dev/null with whom you can talk about all that fucked up shit going on in your mind.
Thank you /dev/null
A computer? We can't afford that shit.
Here son. Mom took this from her Job, they were going to trash it anyways. Go nuts.
Sister oh here are all my dev books. I am doing something else now.3
I fucking hate how when an (musical) artist dies, all of a sudden everyone is a fucking fan of them.
First it was Lil peep, then it was fucking Xtension cord dude, then Mac Miller and now Nippsey.
Like ik damn well all the people I am friends with saying "rip Nippsey" have heard like 2 songs from him and listened to them twice.
But now that he's dead you're acting like you bumped his shit all day & everyday? Fuck off man.25
Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq
OH wait I'm not mute....
I'm just starting on the dev world. I only taken Java and C++.(Both professors knew their coding however, sucked balls at teaching it). now i am here looking at this post scared as shit for my future.. damn what did i get myself into?9
I am a pretty well of dev with a nice job and a nice salary. Yet I still suffer from imposter syndrome. It's nice to get on here and read rants about shit I've also has issues with or just feel better about myself because I wasn't the one the person that rant was about. Cheers to you devrant1
Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...
Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.4
Fuck my boss.
He's making me do non-dev work that I'm absolutely not qualified to do and he's even writing to me on Slack to make me do some of it outside my working days.
I'm getting so fucking anxious whenever I'm trying to work with this shit because I have no fucking clue what exactly am I supposed to do.
I love the first weeks after a job change. It's just like falling in love, everything seems to be perfect until you take off the pink glasses.
Have to wait until I'm assigned a burning project to have a full picture.
Actually I am in a burning project. Deadline in 2 weeks. Doing Bugfixes which do not require in-depth project knowledge, and... It's fine. All a matter of perspective. I also think that project based work suits me more than usual 15y old legacy enterprise shit. And I'm able to switch. From embedded C++ over hardware dev to fullstack .NET (I consider myself as a full-fullstack dev, able to do everything from hardware to frontend).
Topics such as IOT, medical, device engineering, machine learning. Wow.
It's my first company having >50 employees and multiple offices in multiple countries. I used to jump every 2 years from one shitty garage company to another.
Wish me good luck ✌️2
Ok, let's actually try and work on my games Dev kit workspace functionality and not get side tracked with devRant... Oh fuck I'm on it right now... Well shit!
I think I browse through devRant at an unhealthy amount lol
...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.
He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.
You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥6
!dev but since dev can still give you headaches:
Ibuprofen is damn close to magical. I fully understand the chemical mechanism by which it works, and it still don’t make sense how that shit can make you a new person in 45 minutes.2
I actually never felt the need to scream at a co-worker so let's talk about that time a co-worker screamed at me instead.
tl;dr : some asshole boss screamed and threatened me because someone else's project was shit and didn't work.
Context: I was in my third year of school internship (graded) and my experience is C, C++, C#, Python all in systems programming, no web.
I was working as an intern for a shit company that was selling a shit software to hospitals (though not medically critical, thank God) the only tech guy on site was the DBA (cool guy) the product was maintained by a single dev in VB from his house, the dude never showed up to work (you'll understand why) and an other intern who couldn't dev shit.
I was working with the DBA on an software making statistical analysis from DB exports, worked nice, no problems here if we forget the lack of specs or boundaries (except must work in ieShit).
The other intern was working on something else (don't ask me what it is) I just remember it was in GWT before the community revived it. His webapp was requesting the company http server for a file instead of having one of it's java servlet to fetch it (both apps ran on sane server) which caused a lot of shit especially CORS error. That guy left (end of contract) and leaves his shit as is, boss asked me to deploy the app, I fiddle with it to see if it works and when I find out it doesn't then that asshole starts screaming at me in front of every other employee present, starts threatening to burn me in the tech world and have me thrown out of my school for no goddamn reason than the other dude's project doesn't work.
After the screaming I leave and warn my school immediately.
I guess that's why the other dev never came to work.
I had three weeks of internship left, that I did from home and worked probably less than 2 hours a day so suck it asshole.
Still had a good grade because I was reviewed by the DBA and he was happy with the work I did.
It was only later that I realized that what he did was categorizing as harassment (at least in France) and decided that never again this would happen without a response from my lawyer.1
Sick and tired of this country. Is it a fucking crime to try to be a good dev in here? I mean, nobody gives a shit about quality and the learning process, it's all about the money, 'making it work', and salaries. Don't the guys have any honor?7
Senior Dev Idiot: "Ugh, I have another meeting with my business users because they forgot how to use my app. I JUST had a training session with them last week too. Users are soo stupid!"
Yeah... No. If your users can't remember how to use your app after a damn week, that means your app is shit and not intuitive or user-friendly enough. YOU are the stupid one.8
dev goals? get shit done!
I have this common illness among devs:
I start projects and never really finish them.
Hate that. Feels so empty.
So this year I finally want to get shit done.4
(I guess the Question category is the best for this)
Do you believe that someone can be a good dev even if they write shit code?
I personally do, if that person acknowledges the fact that their code is shit, wants to improve it, is humble, is always in the search for constructive, etc as in to make their code better and more readable, I'd think they are a pretty good dev.2
Fuck! This is why I can't diet.
I can't get shit done, because I keep getting more things to fix. And I'm not talking everyday fixes, this is just plain retarded.
The asshole that my client hired thinks he's a dev. Takes projects that are working and makes small changes. Simply for him to say "I took this project and updated it for our needs."
Then when that shit eventually starts failing, I'm expected to fix it. It's not even that it takes me a long time to fix it. It's just that I'm looking at this thinking "Why are you not working?" Only to later find that, of course, it's been modified. By. Mr. Fucking. Dumbass.
When you are reading job requirements for a dev job and they put a shit ton emphasis on MS Office. I remember a phone interview where they asked skill level for Word, Excel and Outlook.7
Mentally preparing myself for the shit show that is going to be the next two days because the client keeps changing his mind, we don't have an actual design were working towards and my boss is a prick who's favourite phrase is "Just get it done."
Really need to find a new job soon.5
The reason for half the web-dev world sufferings is that Microsoft won't stop choking their users with explorer or edge, and half of the client are too dumb or lazy to download a different browser to test stuff. Fuck this shit man! Nothing works the way it should on this bitch.
Everytime my manager says- It should work perfectly on IE because client doesn't have any other browser, I curse IE for exisiting. If you can't improve it, just remove it you freakin' sadists. It'll not be an embarrassment to load something better on your OS. If anything, it'll get people to like you maybe. Like you for accepting your fuckery and making a decision in favor of the web dev world and innocent windows users, who only use your explorer to download other browser asap. For just that one time and for all your arrogance, you're making the whole world suffer.3
It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..
I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..
Think I became too old for this shit.
"yes yes you're a dev, now go install this UniFi AP. I need it ready in the next twenty minutes."
I hope you fart in an elevator, shit yourself, and the elevator gets stuck.5
I just want to take a moment to appreciate how lovely and non-aggressive the subscription process for a Mozilla dev newsletter is.
They show a list of topics like
- Mozilla tech
- add on mails
Only the dev newsletter is preselected by default and the rest are unsubscribed by default.
So if I just submit, I'll just get dev mails and I can subscribe to the rest only if I want to.
This is so much better than chrome or other Google bullshit where if I subscribe to a dev newsletter I'm automatically subscribed to every single piece of shit mail available.
You go Mozilla. Thanks for not being a piece of shit.
So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...
Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.
So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...
Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.2
you know you are in some deep shit when project manager asks for username and password on dev environment
... and as bonus: IE is his default browser1
Dev lesson learned the hard way. Never rm -rf with wildcard arguments... If you think you're being clever it probably means you're about to mess up some shit.3
My dev days consist on coding shit that I am really not interested in(web design)
What gets me through them is getting to my home office when I can continue to fuck around with Machine Learning, my guitar or the shit that does interest me....
.......also...listening to Nothing But Thieves is about the one thing that keeps me from losing my shit at work...5
My Software Developing Skills finally paid off... I've spent whole night repairing a shitty Zanussi Washing machine. My life meaning was fulfilled
Oh my fucking God, the non dev we have on our team has no indentation or syntax filter whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if she has an unmatched or unclosed bracket somewhere. I'm gonna have to go in there and clean that shit up.6
I hate the fucking weekends.
Stuck in a family gathering where no one gives a minuscule shit about me or my comments.
No one available on discord to chat while in the midst of this depressing environment.
It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.
"We don't need to design this page, we'll just wing it in dev. It's not an important page."
result: 47 jiras about choice of fonts, alignment, padding, missing images that were never provided, how it looks shit on mobile and can we make it black instead?1
The client wants the booking project to be all in JS Framework (not specifying any) and NO PHP since client hates PHP (and I don't know why) from the very beginning when the only dev was my former front-end partner (lead dev).
I was wondering why the client still continued the project, YET the file extensions were still on PHP. I asked the lead dev what happened and answered he didn't know know how to start migrating to JS framework and just started NATIVE PHP.
Still, as being a good dev and a supporter to lead dev, did accept and the project as lead dev's assistant. Fixed bugs, enhancement and responsive (DEMMIT, I FREAKING HATE RESPONSIVE) and later complained why am I doing front-end tasks, when it's not my task, supposedly. I EXPECTED MORE ON BACK-END TASKS!
(HERE'S THE EPIC ADVISE GOES AND CALLED OURSELVES MASTER)
Me: Master, why did you not started the project in JS Framework instead of native php?
Lead Dev : You know what master, this project has been already done if the client allows US to use WordPress for this project will still be migrated to JS. And now, WE are trapped to make every window size be responsive since there are already a standard for each window screen.
Me: (DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR FUCKING SORCERY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND WHY D'YOU ACCEPT THIS PROJECT, SLAVE, WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT, IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND DO NOT WASTE CLIENT'S MONEY AND EFFORT FOR YOUR USELESS BUNCH OF SHIT!) Indeed, responsive is a such a pain in the arse.
Lead Dev: Maybe, let's just finish our tasks first and wait the project to be migrated to JS.
P.S. The project manager and client asked me if I do know how to migrate the project from native PHP to JS framework and sabotaged lead dev. OFCOURSE, YES! But, I did not respond that quickly, unless eerm, you know, I earn greater than lead dev. Truth be told and practically speaking, it's really unfair for me if I accept the back-job when the lead dev delivers inaccurate deliverables and earned greater than me. No way, Jose!
Now, I am not working with him because I'm super done with him and later did I know, lead dev is looking for Drupal dev to be working for the booking project.
"Don't fall for the hype. A lot of ideas, groups and methodologies are basically cults trying to advertise their consulting services. While I have no problem with that, just remember that when you run into one of these guys and they are quick to shit on the alternatives to their way (and those who built them) to always be very suspicious."
We had the opportunity to meet 2 very bright people who were heads of their respective communities in a similar area. They were both talking a lot of shit, and getting kinda harsh.
A brilliant dev I worked with, who knew both people for years, took me aside and told me this.
Some cults have cool shit, just don't drink the kool-aid
If I ever get the chance to start my own company or pick out the dev team I work with... I will never, ever, ever work with anyone who doesn't understand how to abstract out a problem. Our prod DB is a mess and our API is a mess because we left it to some dudes who are dumb as shit and doing everything ad-hoc. Now their ad-hoc shit doesn't work anymore and I get to clean it up. 😫😞FML
#define useless unnecessary
Fuck off Zuckerman and any dev who codes such shit for useless permissions and especially FUCK YOU CLIENT for asking your dev to ask for all useless permissions for your fucking app just because you think it's cool ;
Holy fuckin shit. Fuck java updates.
Today we deployed to production with a java app. For whatever reason it didn't work, just throwing SSL errors left and right.
Same app works on dev and qa
There's only one tiiiiny difference: Java 8 141 on dev/qa, Java 8 171 on prod
Guess what happened in 171 ... they updated the CA
rip 4h debuggin5
I found out about and started using flex recently...
It's like there was this whole beautiful, magnificent city hidden beneath the piece of shit city I've been living in and I fell down a manhole to behold it's radiance.
FUCK YOU FLOATS AND YOUR FUCKING FLOW RUINING BULLSHIT! NO MORE WILL I NEED TO POSITION: ABSOLUTE CHILDREN!
Advice for every frontend dev. SASS and Flex. If nothing else, SASS and Flex.7
serious question - is a fucking project ever finished and put away or is it common in the dev world to redo the same fucking pointless shit over and over again?4
86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.
Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.2
My latest attempt to improve myself as a dev has been learning front end technologies, or as I prefer to call it, throwing heaps of shit at a wall and seeing what sticks and calling it modern design. Fuckers.
Otherwise I usually try to implement small manageable side projects to learn new tools enough to know what they are good for so if I ever do need them I know what to choose.1
Been on a Android dev meetup yesterday.
Guy in front of me started solving exercises of Graph Theory on his laptop.
I took a peek to see what this shit is all about(I have never studied for a CS degree).
Holy moley this is some scary shit. How the fuck you people study this.2
Unlocks the phone one day:
"Google Play has stopped working"
I havent used this shit since i installed dev rant (3 months)
10/10 development, google you are the best3
TL;DR : I have carelessly deleted my pocket account. arrrrr fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I usually censored my fuck with * but this level of fucked up shit need no censor anymore.... shit fuck fuck fuck
I am using separate profile for my regular ff and ff dev edition. I didn't know both of the browsers are already linked to single pocket account. I thought the pocket account on my dev edition profile was a new one auto created by ff and decided to delete the account. Turn out it was the same freaking account. I even saw the name linnth but I still clicked Delete My Account.
All 5 or so years saved bookmarks are gone. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr1
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Going to shit diamonds
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Pressing ctrl+s in sql dev when checking packages.. you accidentally press space or sth and later ctrl s it compiles.. then shit gets real when you accidentaly lock up everything on prod db..2
TLDR: Walmart bug 😠
As a dev, I know that bugs happen. But as a dev from a small shop that has many clients and very few devs, I absolutely despise when a large company with many devs has a bug in a product that millions of people use.
WalmartContacts.com. How many devs do they have? And how many dedicated to this 1 product? How many people in QA? (how many on DevRant... lol)
And yet I can't even place an order using their reorder functionality. Seems like they should have this shit down. Seems like they should have all their regression testing ducks in a row. Seems like they should at least show some kind of error message so the user knows what's going on. Instead, no message at all, just the final checkout payment page reloading when I submit leaving me to wonder if my card has been charged or not.3
When the only other person on your dev team is an arrogant, miserable piece of shit that you despise but have to pretend to get along with so you can get a paycheck3
After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.
That is what dev is all about 😃2
company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4
No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.
all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.
Now the project is officially under raging fire
Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning.
client: can you change the layout again
dev: I can but it will look shit
sometimes our lead dev just says what we're all feeling2
Good fucking lord, what the fuck is happening with dev recruitment these days. I do get that the technologies go forward, but me being a 13+ years as dev, i am able to learn new shit, pretty easily. BUT NOPE, if you say in the interview that you don't know stuff, then they never call you back.
I worked as a senior fullstack for the past fucking 5-6 years on remote, but most probably i will be forced to move to another city and work as a junior.
Fuck also that my wife is pregnant second time and this time ther is a high risk of misscariege. So i need to work at home and also somehow look after my kid and wife. Nope, according to every hr ever FUCK THAT.6
Fuck PHP! I fucking hate this cunt of a language so much, It’s the bane of my life. PHP feels like the runt of the programming language family.
Why does it not have actual data structures like every other normal fucking language? Why did it have to be so retarded and use arrays for literally storing everything? I’ve been a PHP dev all my career as it was the language used in my first dev job (5 years) and it’s left me without any practical knowledge or experience of working with actual data structures and their space/time cost, you know the kind of fundamental stuff they ask you at every job interview that’s not for a fucking PHP dev
I’m trying to get out of PHP as soon as possible. Fuck this shit14
I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?
One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".
If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.
Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB2
Sorry it's not related but I'm feeling pretty shit and this is a good place to throw it out.
My lower back hurts, the hospital thought it was kidney stones and now awaiting further testing.
Fuck sake. Just want to be able to sit down and concentrate on programming. Can't even concentrate at work, even when working from home.
Bitching over. Time to try learn decorators.6
I think I might need to visit the doctor soon.
I just can't get hungry and if I do try and eat I feel like shit not even 10 minutes after. Only after many hours of going by without eating do i really feel hunger and can eat without my stomach wanting to kill myself.
Yesterday for example. Ate at around 1 o clock (without being hungry) and not even 5 mins later i was lying down in my couch feeling like absolute shit.
Didn't eat anything throughout the rest of the day and today I am feeling like I could eat an entire horse by myself.
I don't know what is happening to me. I am dropping pounds like crazy and been feeling super tired. Really creeped out at what the doctor might say about why this is happening.
I would like to think that is stress and nothing more.14
It's getting cold now over here and all I want to do is sleep... I have no motivation to do anything useful (dev, useful reading) either, just binge watch TV...
So wondering how do you actually get shit done (stuff you should do but don't have to do)? Maybe it's the food related as well?8
When you are a junior dev and you ask howto do some shit to a senior dev. He answers vaguely and you have to keep asking during the wholr process instead of getting a full answer from the beginning5
Stop commenting out code blocks!
Either fix your shit or delete it.
I am open to argue what fixing may mean, as it is perfectly fine to make your broken code not reachable, e.g. via feature flags or skipping certain tests. Yet never ever should you comment those blocks!
So you say you want to keep it for historic reasons? You know, that is why we use version control! If you ever need certain functionality back, you can restore that state.
Each decent IDE also offers a local history where you can even restore code blocks that weren't even pushed or committed. So use that!
Commenting out test cases is a really bad habit, as you have no reminder that you shall restore it.
And no, a TODO and a FIXME won't count as a reminder as you have to actively look for them. And we all know how well that goes, don't we? (One time, I found a typo of a `TDO`. So even with a regular lookup for TODO, stuff will slip.)
Each test suite offers you ways to skip tests if there are valid reasons why they should not fail the build temporary and they offer colorful feedback. Yes, that means that your tests won't be green, but guess what: That's a feature! They shouldn't be.
That yellow is a fine reminder, aka warning!, that you should really fix your shit.
Commented code screams: "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!" and it confuses the hell out of other developers ("Was this commented because of debugging purposes and should be active again or can I safely delete this!?") and adds verbose crap to the code base.
If you find yourself to be in a place that you comment code a lot, I also argue that your workflow is broken.
When you are using a decent debugger, there shouldn't that much of a need to comment in and out a lot of code in order to reason about your code-base.4
Chrome 63 forces .dev domains to HTTPS via preloaded HSTS.
Well, FUCK YOU google. Why do you even give a shit of my local proxy.14
I started xampp, atom, chrome at once and my windows launched xampp in 10 seconds, chrome in 23 seconds and guess what atom was up in just 2 minutes....
Still trying to figure out whether to throw my pc or the windows.4
So we called out our project manager and tech leader, who sent out an email last Friday to our bosses and stakeholders a project schedule - which we never knew about until we saw it in our inboxes - that showed we had already completed development and would go on to UAT testing by next week.
Except if you look at our agile board we have 3 weeks of dev tasks left and a couple more for testing and QA. Then our dev environment is shit because the deployment steps in TeamCity were not properly done by Dev Ops. And we still don't have a UAT environment created, much less tested out. And the project manager is about to go on a one-month vacation. Great!
So we replied back with all the aforementioned information (less the swearing and name-calling) and sent it out to the same recipients, including our bosses and stakeholders.
That was such a fun Friday afternoon.
XFT & URXVT ARE SUCH ANNOYING PILES OF SHIT!
WHY DO YOU WORK ON ONE MACHINE AND NOT ON THE OTHER, WITH THE EXACT SAME CONFIGS!?
I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR HOURS NOW.
THE DEV WHO FUCKED THESE UP SHOULD BURN IN HELL WHERE SATAN WILL FUCK THE WITH AN HIV INFESTED CACTUS!(This paragraph was brought back by request of @UltraJason)
(Also, if anyone knows why urxvt doesn't render Braille characters(for gotop) (even though every other program can render it), please help)4
I've seen a growing trend in series.
If an author wants to insert a romantic sub-plot into a very much mature series,
He won't write it in a believable way, fitting the tone of series.
Instead he will insert cheap teen-drama and make the audience cringe to death.
What is it with this shit?4
Being a junior dev sometimes sucks. People always gotta second guess your work and make you feel like shit. And never apologize when they realize they were wrong. 🤬🤬🤬2
You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.
Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.
And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.
Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.4
Laptop getting outdated and beginning to malfunction and no money for new laptop..
fuck all freelancing now...15
To a fellow dev on my team; If you notice a difference between the spec and the database structure, just fucking talk to the BA! Don’t code something that fails and put it into QA.
And constantly saying “It’s not my job” is a severely career limiting move you dogmatic little shit.2
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.8
I just can keep the gdpr memes and rants coming, this is getting out of hand, a fucking contact form needs a checkbox, that you fucking obviously "store" it, by sending a fucking email, are you absolutely out of your mind, what do you expect I do, just /dev/null route your shit? maybe I should, shitheads.3
Dev DB just auto shutdown in the middle of a restore.
From an online backup.
! Dev related rant
I rammed a knife into our fridge freezer to throw ice on my flatmate. And bam! I punchered the goddamn coil, now we've been without fridge for two days and I'm going to lose shit load of cash.
Off goes beer for a few weeks.7
Me: trying to do any simple fucking project
Me: cant figure out how to do something simple or cant figure out how to start or how something should work.
Me *Looks up problem* (everytime...)
results: SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF.
Am I just a shitty programmer, a shitty learner, or just not cut out for this? because I fucking Love this field. this is the only thing I ever want to do. BUT I CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME EVEN WITH LANGUAGES IM GOOD AT!! WHICH IS JUST PYTHON AND IM STILL SHIT AT THAT.
I TRY TO DO PROJECTS WITH JS, OR C, OR PYTHON PICK WHICHEVER ONE. AND I NEVER KNOW HOW I SHOULD START IT, AND IF I LOOK UP HOW TO DO IT ITS SO MUCH LONGER AND COOLER AND BETTER THAN MY DUMBASS WOULD HAVE DONE (and longer in a good way because its well thought out and works)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A REAL JOB IN THE FIELD IF I CANT MAKE THE RANDOM IDEAS THAT I SEE ON THE INTERNET AND WHY CANT I MAKE THEM AS GREAT OR LONG AND SHIT ON MY OWN. SO MANY PEOPLE CAN WRITE SO MANY LINES OF CODE AND FUNCTIONS AND ALL THIS SHIT THAT WORKS AND YEAH THEY LOOK UP SOME PROBLEMS BUT NOT HOW TO FUCKING DO THE ENTIRE THING LIKE SOME FUCKING RETARD
I CANT GO A PROJECT WITHOUT LOOKING UP HOW TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE MY LITTLE BRAIN CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT18
If your customer service is so bad that people talk about trying to use the occult to get in touch with you, your company is shit.
Dev related cause I only want to talk to the customer service because the api docs are that fucking bad.
Junior Dev: "The man told me I have to use his framework but I don't know shit about it"
Me: "hmmm, since it's something he developed, you should ask him for some documentations or some examples"
Junior Dev: "I did!! That bastard gave me an example but I can't do anything with it. It's just executables, some config file and NO sources"
Me: "well, this sounds odd to me. You're telling me he just sent you executables and not a single source ? There is no .cs file in there?"
-- 2 minutes later --
Junior Dev: "now that I see ... The sources are there ... BUT the damn bastard put them into subfolders ... And there isn't a Solution file ... How could I even ..."
And THAT was the moment my brain collapsed into a black hole, obliterating me from the existence. Or at least that was what I wished for.
I've been reticent to chime in on this weeks group rant, feels too personal...but it is what is is.
Most emotional was losing a dev to cancer, and an analyst to an allergy, and an engineer to an accident...ugh.
Most intense was probably losing servers and hard drives without recovery, not being able to get databases back online because they went down so bad, websites being down, not meeting some quarterly goal, shit not building, email campaigns that go sideways...fuck...anything involving reactionary leadership...unrealistic expectations.
But all that shit, while seemingly important or "stressful", pales in comparison to someone you fought with in the trenches not being there anymore.
restore -if friends
So i work in support (do dev stuff in my own time). Spent 3 months seconded to another team supporting in project clients.
First issue i had in that team was a client with serious data issues which took about 30 hours +/- to diagnose and write some scripts to resolve.
After they went live and got handed over to support they had the same issue again but instead of support picking it up they sat on it till i came back on Monday.
Ive spent about another 10 hours or so picking through audit logs. I get all the shit no one else can either be bothered or capable of doing and to top it off i didnt get the promotion i was going for because i hadnt closed enough tickets, because they keep giving me all the shit to fix for everybody else
When some random customer of one if our (bank) clients tweeted about receiving money to their mobile money account in less than a minute (while it was like an hour before we built an API for that shit). Knowing I was the dev that made that happen made my heart melt1
I have gone through all the options that your public API has for syncing data, and i can now officially say that stripping an iFrame of a Google Drive page would be better than the piece of shit mutation methods you have come up with.
A fucking annoyed dev that just wasted about 4 hrs on your shit.
So my boss was developing a app for personal use and it was very nice and had many features. One day there was a mac os update. He updated his system thinking he backed up everything like a week ago (let me spoil you a little bit... it was four weeks ago...). He did the update and it stopped working whilst updating and he lost all his data and with that he lost the app he made. He has now started from scratch again. Guys what does that teach us? Do regular backups! I learned something from that myself!2
Heyo, it's me. That fool who always says shit about unity.(:
So.. i just got my first real hands-on down, and phew, i gotta say.. I overestimated that heap of bullshit.
It's not like there are basic concepts of gamedev, framebased ticking and stuff like that since before the fucking gameboy - nope - let's do shit different. More ... Shit. First, we invent something new. Lets call it "prefab". None of these fuckers is going to know what that shit is.
What next.. oh the new-keyword. That's bullshit, all languages use it. Lets make Instanciate(). That's the stuff.
On we go, scenes. Most shit is statically created beforehand and used by scripts glued to stuff. Hell that so neat actually. Creating materials beforehand and then we can just load em!(:
NOPE. yo bro your Material where u used one of those loading-methods is null. We ain't telling you whats wrong, cus you know.. Load() returning null is like completely normal, why throwing an exception?
Oh and btw, it needs to be in ./Resources/, but it wont make any difference.
So now you want to google your problem, eh? Forget it. The Forums only answer on stuff like "how to add 2 numbers in unity" and the guide shows you how you did it, but they say it works that way.
Dude holy shit, of course this is a buhuuu i don't know how to do shit rant because i feel like good 8-10 years of dev experience collected while not doing homework for school were for fucking nothing.:b
And i have to use it.
Subjective Opinion: Unity was made by crackheads.7
My first rant in ages:
Been assigned to a new Laravel project at work and the murthafucking lead dev got no fucking clue how to architect a big laravel app. Lead dev talking trash about encapsulation and every big oop grammar he can find while asking us to come up with an architecture concept for the app.
My annoyance is, the fecking project been in planning for like 7 months and d lead dev keeps saying he is looking for ideas on how we will build the app. Fuck this shit!1
We interviewed some candidates for a dev position some weeks ago and, knowing the environment isn't that challenging (at least for me) I voted against the better curriculums because I know they would be frustrated fast, I said that. But I didn't say it was because it's shit here... Of course.... I really just want the good devs to be better then they can be here.... What do you think?3
Our associate program manager is currently giggling at her desk on facebook and we have a meeting in 5 minutes. A senior dev finally gotup and went to setup the meeting room... triggers the shit out of me when producers / program management dont setup meetings that they scheduled.1
Making a simple 2d game in unity for a friend:
Never used unity or C#, but this looks easy. Gravity is already there, background is drag and drop, etc. That shit is fucking easy.
I think the hardest thing is going to be the textures, and inkscape got my back on that!
Anyway, I really need to sleep but I’m just reading the tutorial!
LET ME SLEEP FUCKING DEV BRAIN!2
Soo do parents like actually help when they know about depression and self harm and shit because I might have just told them and I think that was a mistake...7
'It's just...' is the biggest lie any co-dev can give you!
If it's just a small change why don't they do the god damn work and spend the next 2 days wading through an undocumented shit storm.
Next person to say 'It's just x, y & x', that ticket will be going up their tail pipe sideways!
And another weekend full of work, because I don‘t get shit done in the office.
Being kind if the lead dev in my team, everyone is coming to me for nearly everything and I rarely have time to work on my current ‚fulltime‘ project.
It‘s really frustrating. I just want to code .__. FML
(Maybe I should learn other programming languages and switch jobs? I always wanted to learn Haskell)2
What about devRant start monthly dev challenges and winners gets Freebies tech stuff jobs and other shit12
Actually have a dev thing to say now.
I wrote a script to compile my kernel with the latest mainline version using my current config options. It works...so far. I'll check back with it in a couple months and hope it still works good. It also checks daily if my kernel is out of date (yes I'm one of those, fight me)
Also managed to get my laptop to boot from power on to LightDM in 15 seconds, and 9 of those seconds are firmware. It DOES have this thing on occasion where it freezes during the boot process while initializing everything tho?? I've been meaning to try and figure it out for a minute but I put it off so much cause I don't reboot that often anyways.
As for a personal update, I hung out with some good friends today and my best friend heard my singing voice for the first time, she said I have a good voice (she does a lot of musicals and stuff and just sings all the time, so I trust her opinion). I also gave that friend a gaming laptop as a late birthday gift/early graduation gift today because she doesn't have anything to game on and I didn't really use the laptop much anyways. Plus she's like my favorite person ever and she really deserves it. Unrelated note, I have had an off and on crush on this girl for 2 years. She's always been there for me and she's just an amazing person.9
You know something's truly off when you're being challenged for all the wrong reasons. When all it seems you ever do is apply a band-aid every time instead of making the time to fix it properly and for good. Or when the people who should be making your work easier to do instead suggest new tools and features to integrate into your workflow or project because they plug the holes in their management process and can ignore the leaks for the time being.
I need to push myself out of this place and ramp up my skills and update my personal projects so I can prove myself capable and move on to a better employer. Because I'm starting to hate the stopgap short-term approach that keeps getting shoehorned into our work, and only proceeds to make us look bad even if it's the whims of our bosses causing it in the first place.
Thanks for reading.
Worked from 8am to 23pm today. A massive power outage yesterday messed up my schedule. Still have a lot to do tomorrow. Going to sleep now. Stay strong, everyone. Weekend is coming.
Fucking project lead!!! I was told to make a configuration script i have no experience in scripting yet he expects me to deliver it the following day!!!3
!dev but working via a Dev firm..
So these dudas hired me to cut and edit videos for them and get to know them (considering to work as web dev after studies, good way to start they said..) sure bit of an extra income..why not..
First clips I get, butthurt ass image quality with low ass sound that not even my grandma with here hi-tech super eardevice could hear a shit..
secondly who the fuck films a company video with a mobile phone in hands.. not even a fucking tripod... The angles are all over the shitfaced scene and your shaking like a fucking dildo vibrates.. "oh fix it with warp, it's easy".
FUUCK YOU! If I tell you these pieces of shit clips aren't even worth posting on Snapchat stories, how the fuck could you even consider using them for companies?!
Every god damn client video has shitty as dildo vibrating Slenderman light quality... Come one! And you want me to consider working for you as a front end developer (where I probably still will have to go through these pills of shit videos)?! Mate.. you better think twice about that...
Ps. Yes I have consulted them regarding these issues and no.. considering that these piles of shit still come my way they haven't taken my advices..(╯°□°）╯︵( .o.)
(Had to steam out somewhere.. ☕)
I would say Windows, but the thing is it's not a dev technology. It's more of a toy, and less of a piece of software. More like a piece of shit!
As far as actual real technology goes, the worst dev tool I've ever used is any IDE/Debugger. Slows you down so much to rely on them but so many people forget the meaning of productivity with all these little toys...2
There's no such thing as a minor change when there's a company's bottom line at stake. Take things slowly and carefully, in this industry it's better to ask permission than beg forgiveness, because you'll only receive that forgiveness when you're in line at the job center.
And running an npm Install one time doesn't make you a nodeJS dev, so stop that shit.
As you grow older, both professinally as a dev and as a team player, you realise that a complete rewrite is rarely the better answer to the problem at hand.
With that being said, I'm rewriting the glorified-mass-of-infernal-human-feces-with-corn-bits-masquerading-as-mere-shit out of a production service right now. Wish me luck.2
I've been in the middle of some idiotic shit for 2 days because someone didn't know
Literally the very first result in my search and I'm not even a fucking Java dev.
Got my contract w the uni here for another 6 months of software dev work and another contract on the side w another company for software dev work.
This is it, folks. Im finally doing this shit fulltime. Feels good man.
Ok so I studied Computer Science in college, even got my pretty little associate's degree saying I didn't eat shit.
Decided to work in ops and not as a dev because life finds a way
End up being asked to write code at work anyway because I know enough to not break everything1
Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)
After a while of functioning as a dev, I've learned one of many lessons:
The amount of experience you have does not correlate with your expertise, but it in fact correlates with the amount of absolutely broken shit you've seen and your ability deal with it.
> client has no infrastructure of the project
> dev like me still work on it
> I constantly request for mock-ups and infrastructure
> client never responds back, instead he raises issues ahead of sprint
> I snap back at him
> Client wants call now
> What the fuck
To be honest, I'm gonna take a stand here...fuck this shit man, no clear way of working4
Day 3 as the Junior Dev.
Co worker fucks every time on defining functions in python
What my asshole teammate does is:
And he was clearly instruct to return value not print the value what a jerk he is.
I have to fix his all problems and in meeting he brags how his code worked. What a sucker.4
I DONT KNOW WHY BUT UBUNTU 17.04 SET MY ONLY DISK TO /DEV/SDB, I RAN A DD TO DELETE MY USB DRIVE (I TAUGHT IT WAS /DEV/SDB) AND DELETED ALL MY PARTITIONS! F* THIS SHIT, I'M GOING BACK TO ARCH11
So I work at a monitoring station (yeah not a professional dev yet), so basically our entire day is spent on the phone. Yesterday morning, our phone system broke. Everyone is getting calls from all departments. Even departments they're not in.
As if my job isn't stressful enough as it is, now this fucking thing happens, and whattya know, shit still isn't working today...
Sometimes the days are so bad that I almost feel like giving up on this, fuck you npm, fuck you angular material constantly changing shit all the time and fuck you fellow dev who keeps fucking around with global CSS stylings
Started at a shit position (throwing truck) with a company to get my foot in the door. dev position opened up, so I applied. Only to find out employees have to wait 90 days before they can switch departments... 😑😑😑
how is it that you fail to update and fuck up every Apache config file existing on the server.
Why can't I just be a lazy dev tonight, instead of fixing your moronic actions upon those files, one by one.
Why is it that you frigging forget to close Directory tags properly.
Why is it that you show a Forbidden page when everything seems to be finally ok.
And why is it that I can not re-generate that shit with one button.
Fuck this shit.
sudo rm -rf /2
In high school I absolutely hated business and science subjects(phy, chem, bio) as well.
Not to forget fucking maths. Calculas and all that shit I never paid attention to.
I chose CS hoping it would rid me of maths.
Fell in love with programming the very first semester.
Now I'm in my last semester and a freelance Web Dev.
Came to the realisation that I wasted three years in uni, today my final grades were released - for those who give a shit I got a first
I was happy till I realised I got my dev position without them even knowing my final grade.3
So so so frustrated why is finding the right job such a fucking hassle! Landed my first junior dev job that was not what I was expecting mostly I work jira ticket written my middle aged morons to update PDF's servers that never had anything deleted from them 100k of files and about 10k folders shit you not. Don’t delete anything co worker deleted a file that took down a couple thousand person call center.
Looking at other junior positions with junior in the title and they want 4-7 years expierence at two different places. WTF if I have 7 years I would think I would a senior dev or close to one.
Just there is such a disconnect between the people who post the ads and vett the candiates to the hiring managers.
Does it get better? Started going to meet ups to meet more experienced devs in my area but still trying to find the right fit.2
Recruiter contacted me about a job via email. Being the intrepid dev, I GlassDoor'd them. Nothing but shit reviews, so I told him no thanks.
"Oh we've seen the reviews and we're really trying to get our stuff together."
"Not on my back, you won't. I'm not going from the frying pan into the fire. "
He sent me more email asking me to reconsider. If you have shit reviews and have to beg people, uhh, are you that stupid to think anyone will come work for you?2
If you're feeling lonely and want a lot of responses in any dev forum, just talk shit about a widely used programming language.2
my stupid ass workplace use the same build server for production and dev. we daily deploy broken shit to out clients. what the fuck
Been working on a backend-service, sending notifications to our app. Shit didn’t work in backend. I made some adjustments, commited and pushed. Didn’t think it would work and just went home.
Our tester had a app-version connected to my dev-server(Continous Delivery from my last commit). Got an email. ”I see you got the notifications working”. I had a high polling-rate in backend for testing. He got spammed lol
At least my code worked 😂1
after a long days work coming out of my dev cave at 11:00 pm. ... I gotta get some sleep....
3:00AM Wide awake can't sleep any more thinking about all the shit I still have to get done!!!!!
Okay up and coding again by 3:30 with coffee.
4 hrs sleep okay lets do this all over again:(
Who else feels like they live in a while loop:)1
This is kind of a loaded question because it's so broad. So I'll just throw my thoughts down on the idea anyways.
Honestly with all the way that game dev has come it's so sad to see just the increase of people that are so ungrateful and dont appreciate what went into making it. Complaining about small not a big deal bugs that occur, blaming the devs for stuff that's completely not up to them but the "idea man", etc. Although good things are coming out of it. Like children wanting to get into it more which is awesome and indie developers basically holding up the industry while majority of the AAA companies get their shit together. So I see all of that increasing. Also I'm expecting to see the Rust language start to be used in AAA titles replacing C++
Software dev well I see python making a bigger uprising and I'm hoping people become more accepting of python as well.
These are all just random thoughts so please take that into consideration
New piece of code which should work perfectly and solve your problem but it is not working just because you forgot to remove an old piece of code you were trying to fix the same problem! Fuck my life!1
When I went in to this I wanted to be a back-end dev I'm close to a year employed now and I can now that I'm a front-end dev... Really didn't see shit turning out like this1
News Feed for web dev trends/news?
I don't want these "how to do some weird shit with divi" kinda-news, I want to learn about new trends, frameworks, stacks, tech n stuff, especially new js features. Mainly webdev but other dev-stuff, too.
And if someone has a better reader than feedly for such feeds, pls let me know.3
Fucking hell, using Android studio and chrome Dev tools at the same time is a pain. You'd think Google would have their shit sorted when it came to sharing adb with their own programs.
Do a simple fucking thing ... Hoo no that cross origin shit protection XD i know the utility of this protection but in dev damm just shut the fuck up and work
What are your thoughts on documenting developer (local/dev) functional testing? Should we be trusted that we've tested our shit and it works? Or should we provide proof? Are we better to provide proof to protect ourselves?3
Never lose your confidence as a dev, especially when those fucking managers tryna blame you for anything that goes wrong in the system or just wanna make you feel like shit.
This goes out to y’all managers. Fuck you!!!
I checked something and the school I want to apply to for Computer Management (basically the paper I need to prove I’m a dev) requires me to do PE.... Like, come the FUCK ON. How am I gonna learn stuff (and get retold the same shit I know since I’m 10) about PROGRAMMING if I’m doing SPORTS?! WHY?! I can barely get up the damn stairs without my knees fucking up and being out of breath.... fml2
feeling like shit at work because I'm not productive at all.... I'm a fullstack web dev and was assigned to create a java data importer with multiple sources, multiple scenarios and using various data types... What makes this difficult is that I'm not used to strictly typed languages, because I'm used to swapping variable types and nulling them down/whatever I need to do with them whenever I want. In java I need to assign the correct variable types, there are no asociative arrays . I've been fixing one issue this whole day. Litteraly one fucking issue. Maneged to fuck javas garbage collection even though it's supposed to be automatic. Fuck. I feel like I need to stay late, and program on the weekends to achieve anything with this assigment because right now I feel like I make 0 progress. Boss leaves for vacation next week for a week, and he's the other dev that theoretically should be working with me...4
I have the image of every member of this community to be some top shot dev who's frustrated because others can't keep up. You get that image from the types of rant you see...
It might be the case that the guy who posted a rant about his manager being useless, and the rant getting 100+ ++ is someone who would have never written a test case in his life!!! (in my opinion that's more bad than a shit manager)5
Shit my "Senior" Dev coworker days:
"Well, logically, lies are more important because it takes more effort to remember the lie, who you've told it to, and any extra stuff you made up to keep your story straight. Then, when you have more than one lie, you work even harder to keep them all in line".1
Some little piece of shit fairy messed with my code.
Made some modifications in a tamplate file, tested in dev everything worked. Pushed it to prod and in one of its cases it displayed the array key of each element. Checked the code, an that was what written in there in prod and in dev too. However that shit in dev (and previous versions in prod) displayed key->name as intended.
So I thought git blame and check where it went wrong... Guess what... That fucking line is the same age as the file itself....
How that motherfucking shit worked, and what had I had in mind when writing that shitcode is a mistery...
Now that's an election done right...
Stupid US political system/media where all the attention goes to Republicans and Democrats candidates and both are the same shit...
Yes I know not dev related but just had to rant....10
I love it when you and the dev team completely forget about the timeline and start implementing random shit thinking it'll work.
We will get there eventually
I've been for 1 month in my first job as dev and I have a demo on Wednesday about some stuff either I didn't do myself and nor have any idea of how it works. De demo is 6 mins with the full project tribe... from ppl over the globe... wish me shit.6
I got into dev during the AOL 2.5 days where everyone was creating proggies and punters. I was obsessed with the AOL API designed for Visual Basic (VB4 at the time).
So essentially I got into dev to break shit and make peoples lives miserable. Good times.2
Its festive season. Half of the team mates are on leave. Servers are down. No work can be done. Office looks life less ( which it always is). Boss asking why didnt you take leave. Yes because your free time off is almost zero. I need money. People being happy and getting in relationship/married. I am a fucking loner here.
Dragging my ass across the hallway like a ass fucked zombie. Typing this rant with a grumpy face. And people say monday blues are worst.
Fuck this emptiness. Fuck servers on maintenance. Fuck these white iridescent bulbs glowing for no reason. Fuck people murmuring around me. Fuck everything which is in my sight. Fuck this depressive fucking festive season.2
Hey look at these awesome features we offer in the new version!
*carefully upgrades servers*
*app runs smoothly for few hours*
(Docker container exited with code 137) x 100
Another dev: "I can't see the data flowing through the pipeline"
Boss: "Hmm, why did we upgrade again?"
*checks jira issue for the software*
Bug Report #125 fixed in the next version.
Fuck this shit!1
"Version control......what is that? I never heard of it"
Words cannot express the shock I felt when I heard this from an interviewee for junior dev.
How the FUCK do you call yourself a developer you piece-of-shit when you don't know such an essential thing?????9
Absolutely hate it when managers give an estimate for an hour tasks to be completed in 7 days.. why can't they just accept they are shit and ask for the effort estimation from the concerned dev.. all the AGILity goes in an awry..2
What had to be a nice day:
So last week a friend asked me if I wanted to come.
Some days (2) later I said ok and asked him what time.
I’m also doing a project with him (he isn’t a dev), so I thought I add new features and show him the ideas.
Yesterday he wrote a message: “My family is coming, Sorry, I need to cancel”
I’m so angry. I worked long on these features to make him happy, and show ideas. And then when nearly everything is done he cancels.
I don’t know what so tell him/do. What would you do?3
Sometimes non-dev people give the look like they could do the same shit in half the time and you purposefully made the UI ugly (UI wasn't provided and I m no designer).. can anybody suggest some polite ways to tell them to FUCK OFF!!2
I'm getting pretty sick and tired of platforms that try to get as many users as they can and leave the dev community to suffer through the shitty process of shitty integrating with their shitty shit.
me: "say, TL, why don't I see any debug/info/warn logs in dev/qa environments?"
TL: "Yeah, we've disabled them, the logs are too expensive (ApplicationInsights)"
thanks bro... go debug this shit yourself...
Perfectionism... I often refactor my code because I always see something that could be "done better" in my own work, which can slow me down if I'm not paying attention to my main task.
If I could stop time I would perfect my code all day, but that isn't realistic. 😂
Doesn't apply to dev work only, I've had to learn the art of not giving a shit about every single detail in many other disciplines. I just love getting things done really well.
So I'm looking for jobs ATM related to the web business and a find the one job that kind of appeals to me, (it's basically a social network for business) I head over to the site and see that 1. The designs shit as hell and 2. I pull out my 1337 web dev hacks and what do you know the sites vulnerable to MySQL injections!!! How gr82
Posting in dev rant for some is purely meant for the free goodies.... So they post their shit to get likes....2
don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
Jesus fucking christ, fuck angular sometimes ... most of the times. just fuck it
And fuck me even more for writing such shit components when I started out with it.
Takes forever to find the shit that isn't working due to angulars magic change detection and the shittx performance of local dev environment.
Has to run in JIT because the app it too big, and then it takes 10 sec to build everytime you change something. And during that time i get a 100% cpu usage which kills vscode so I cant do anything properly
fuck it, i just wanna have a nice weekend now1
First try on Debian to deploy dev environment, can't fix the grey screen cross cursor vnc issue with gnome regardless whatever solution on the internet.
Screw this shit wasted plenty my time. Reinstalled back CentOS 6.
Fuck the dev! Who decided to change shit on their site without telling me...
It's your fucking app do you want it to work!?
I can't connect the two if you keep changing shit!
I know this dev to be a fucking asshole!6
!dev && !rant
Whose company is hiring remote full stack/back end JS devs with Nodejs, react-redux, react native, typescript, coffeescript? Please help a devRanter.
Time to quit this shit hole 😫5
As a junior frontend dev should I rather work in a web agency or in a biggee company that needs a frontend dev for their software?
I would really like to join a web agency but it seems like only small agencies with shit conditions would hire me...1
Wasted 2 years of my life working at a retail store den i decided fuck dis shit ama pursue dis web dev thing2
Just some free knowledge that I'd like to pass around:
I wanted to free up some space in my MacBook. I checked out different methods.
Here are some methods that helped:
- Go to ~/Library/Caches and try to clean shit up.
- If you have Homebrew, (if you don't, just quit dev already) run `brew cleanup` -- only for people with Macs.
- There's this app called Omnidisksweeper. Check that out.
- Also, indexing Spotlight is something I've heard of but never tried.7
I want to update to MacOs Sierra but am afraid it would mess up with my full stack dev environment, mamp and shit.
Anyone facing issues after update.
> me when angry
" what the fuck you stupid dev stop doing crappy shit"
> me when trying to do stuff
#!/bin/bash set -e
echo "no please"
I should stop blaming devs for doing crappy stuff
We're re doing our company website and they put a non dev on our team for extra "hands" but when she's pushing code and re writing my shit that makes me a little nervous. Good grief we need a merge to master5
Facing some down - simultaneously somehow as dev and privately.
The dev part partly triggered by another burning project. Our team deep in shit up to the chin... And this unanswerable question: who is to blame? Everyone is working up their arses, but the result is still some sparkling firework ship wreck, that only held together for the demo to the board. It's not that we are stupid or lazy, yet we push some unmaintainable spaghetti, because this shit just gotta work.
Dunno, somehow this object orientation / pattern ideologies were also kind of depressing to me: partly because they smell like attempt to enlighten the inept by stupid receipts - and of course then deep down there's this nagging question if I'm not one of this inept not knowing the newest fashion template from the catalogue..
Then this Clean Code - Craftsmanship shit is bugging me similarly. Liked Robert C. Martin's book, but now I picked up some "Clean C++" and.. I kinda feel dumbed down if they try to sell the KISS principle to a 36 year-old physicist/engineer. Good for them that all our legacy shit und own fuck ups nourish this whole industry of well-meaning advisers. Argh, just fuck it, you priests, sell your obvious calendar mottos elsewhere, they are are just as useful as telling a griever that "rain follows sunshine". - As if they would not some time use the raw pointer that their coworker gave 'em, to ship shit tomorrow?
I just helped my friend setting up Laravel on her machine. The npm is giving me headache because of the fucking permission issue. WHY THE FUCK chmod DOESN'T WORK ON WINDOWS IF POWERSHELL RECOGNIZE THE COMMAND?? Then composer says that it cannot find the autoload.php. I thought it was another permission issue end up it's because composer fuck up installing on Windows. Wasted 2 hours for this shit.
Oh and the default language she uses is French. The keyboard layout is entirely different. French is totally awesome but the typos in command is getting really annoying. :(
I'm not saying Windows is bad for general use but I think it's a bad idea for developing non-Microsoft product on Windows. I don't understand how can one bear with so much shit on Windows. Most dev tools tutorials are written in Unix system so fucking get a Mac or Linux at least!3
How to get through tough dev days?
Cursing, lots and lots of cursing. Cursing your boss, cursing at your boss, cursing at your (deserving) coworkers, and cursing life, the universe and whoever invented this fucking shit!1
Agency life where the dev department plays 3rd string to our Creative/Experience team and our Demand Gen team. Mainly because the leadership has no idea how to sell dev work?
Oh, and when dev work comes in, its on a super rushed/compressed time table where we've over-promised, and under-charged.
No margin on this project? Yeah, no shit cause you sold it for 50% of what we told you it would cost, dumb ass.2
rantType = "windows sucks"
I hate Windows so much right now >.>
So I'm using VS, debugging my shit, when suddenly!
Windows gives me a BSOD.
And the stop error wasn't even related to anything I was doing so don't say I did it lol
Anyways, my best idea of wtf has happened to my install was the event viewer spitting a fuck ton of errors after I installed the fall update, so new update = bad I guess lol3
Im dev in a huge company.
I take a 3 days training about the company purposes and goals.
As dev I dont give shit about company aims couse company is borring and there are like 100 levels between them and my real work.
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...
iOS/native app devs!
How usual it is for your apps to differ from iOS UI guidelines? Our lead dev always throws a fit when he has to implement custom stuff, but I see popular games “shit all over” these guidelines all the time and do very well in popularity.
As I’m no expert, please tell me if it is generally accepted to not follow these iOS rules / use premade controls 100% of the time, so I know what’s up. Thank you.2
Right now i'm working as a volunteer developer for a discord server. I've recently been learning JDA (a Discord API java wrapper) and I wanted to get some experience in a more real world environment by working on a Discord Bot. What a mistake
The owner of the server has written some pretty messy, but solid code, and I was asked to build as sort of “punishment system” (warns, kicks, mutes, bans, all of which timed). It started off fine, me doing some work, getting some critic, all good. Soon, it started to get worse. At every point of the way, while i’m working I have him trying to make me add new features, and change massive existing ones even after i’ve done them and moved on with his permission! I keep telling him, “it’s a work in progress, please wait”, but it never stops.
I’m planning to resign, but I have to continue to dodge him and his “suggestions” as I simply want to finish my work, and get out. The reason I need to avoid his as, I feel that if I was to alert him I was to leave in advance, things would only get worse in the time while I stayed.
Worst dev tech, it has to be MS Word. Apparently they follow the OOXML guidelines to create a Word doc but they have to put in their own shit-flavored ingredients to increase a developer's misery. Parsing that document is pure agony.
I was looking for a way to find the default font size of the document and found this gem https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/F...
I recently joined a good MNC as a .net fullstack dev and right now contributing mostly to the frontend part to one of our projects. I have another team member writing the APIs and when i look at how the middletier is written and how APIs are structured, its just plain shit nothing else. It hardly follows any restful principles, returns weird response code, no design patterns at all, in short its a 10 year experienced dev writing code like a fresher.
I tried to communicate my concerns in a nice way but they were not taken very well. And when later I am asked to work on that codebase it will be like jumping in a pile of shit.
Now my question to you wonderfull people out there is, how do you handle situations like this? Do you have any suggestions for me please?6
When you dont have a rubber duck so you just type your mind to a dev friend but he want none of your shit and gets pissed off.1