Are you fucking retarded?

This is a real review for dR

How the fuck do people have an amazing GitHub profile full of contribution while still working and having a social Life??

Am I missing some secret or trick?

This struggle is real...

JavaScript, also known as Java for short…. (can't believe this is real…)

Me, whenever I attempt to use eyeliner...

(real talk, this is why I don't bother trying to use eyeliner)

This shit is real. Entertainment in traffic xD

Don't let your team working be like this:

Monday:
Frontend: Hey, is the API ready?
Backend: Sure, will give you later

Tuesday:
Frontend: @backend, is the API ready?
Backend: yeah, yeah, will give you later, yesturday is busy.

Wednesday:
Frontend: @backend, is it ready?
Backend: Been working on some prd bugs, will give you later

Thursday:
Frontend: @backend...
Backend: ...

Friday:
Frontend: @backend...
Backend: Oh, I just find out that you should ask @backend_b for this API...

(I was actually trying to get my avatar, but this story is real)

This is the coding rig for everyone that claims himself THE REAL PROGRAMMER (and everyone else except him is just an idiot, a noob or a kiddo).

This is the real deadlock

I created an open-source module for Angular about a year ago, which is now used in a real project for a big client by someone else! What a great feeling.

Just had to tell someone, my friends and family doesn't understand this code stuff.

Searched stackoverflow and found the exact issue I was having. The question is from 2014.

The accepted answer is a messy hack. Fuck.

The second answer is clean, clear, concise. It was posted 38 minutes ago.

Is this real life?

To those who say game is not an art, we paint worlds with ones and zeros in real time that you can get lost in for hours. If this is not art, nothing is.

Poetry at work!
Thats a good usage of a whiteboard 😁

Me : You should try this app, its great!
Friend: What is about?
Me : A place where programmers and developers tell jokes and complain to each other
Friend : But you can do that i real life too
Me : But now you don't have to leave your computer to do that

It's funny because this is real :-/

This is real.

String query = "select password from users where username = " + username;

##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !

Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*

Client : no, this is not the right way

Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..

Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..

Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways

This is what the real 1337 Haxors do.

Dev stickers are for loosers.

No for real， just received the new computer i ordered . i hear my daughter scream something from the other side of the house.

I thought she said:“is this your new computer?”

But actuaylly she said: “can i put stickers on you new computer???”

Client just informed our support that they solved their own forgotten password problem by clicking the "forgot password" button in our app. They say they are now awaiting the email with the password recovery details.

One problem: we don't have a forgot password button in our app.

So the head developer at my company quit, and I was chosen to replace him. I haven’t even graduated college yet and am already leading development at a company with over a million active users. Is this real life?

This is a real project.

This kind of bullshit advertising is the reason everybody thinks we can do that every new whimp of the client within a few minutes.

Fuck off! Making real custom websites/apps takes time, planning, design, coding and testing. Its not just pressing a few buttons.

Translation: Make a website? 30 minutes.

This morning Google asked me to come away from a search and into this dark portal to begin its underground recruiting process w/ me. Humbled += Intrigued.

This is a rant because they also gave me a deadline and I have other deadlines, Google!

But the REAL question is: tabs or spaces, Google?

This is some real dedication to the changelog and branding.

This is not a joke. This is not something I wrote to be funny. This is not found randomly off the internet. This is a real part of the project I inherited: a function that not only is more cumbersome to use than the simple <Array>.contains that it wraps, but rather than returning the boolean result from the function, sends it through an if statement and returns hardcoded true and false values for... Good luck? I guess?

Technical Interviewer: "You killed it, and flew right through this. I'm seriously impressed."

Me: "Is this real life?"

This is getting infectious now.. It is spreading to human languages.. We have to do something real quick..

Misunderstanding is like running ftp server on port 80!
Ftp responses for http request!
In real life it happens like this

Hey, i'm new here and just wondering of this is a real rant? 🤔

During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.

Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.

😆

Wish me luck guys I think this is it. I'm going to be financially set for real this time woohoo! Big thanks to my man billy

So I hear Christmas is coming, right? Here's a christmas tree for you!

P.S. this is the real thing. It's a Java project we have to work with... For Christ's sake! The guy who wrote this has recently left the company and handed this code to us as his legacy.

fuck.

Client: That loading screen is going by too fast. The customer can‘t read the slightly too long text. Add 2 more seconds to the load time.

Is this real life?

Have been working on a frontend with actual stats for the DNS server I'm building. This is the result so far (real stats, red blocked domains are marked by me (in redis) as surveillance domains), thoughts?menu

lol. this shit is real

This is real for me too. Lol

Real university assignment:

"Write an AI to win this 2player game, restrictions: you cannot save to a file and every turn is a new run of the program."

And then people ask me why do i keep saying university is useless.

Hey fellow selfish Millenials who want to be paid for their valuable work, how's the job hunting going?

I'm a few days into hunting for some interesting part time work and I'm already encountering some real gems... Pinnacle of irony with this one.

Anyone got some horrific tales to share? This is a safe space for your anguish to finally be released, I promise.

Which is why I wrote my coffee machine in Linux! This is real photo taken by me in englewood co this morning.

As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.

Let's settle this:
Blockchain is just a dumb database, the feature that makes it amazing is trust-less ness.

Its not meant to make a decentralised uber or a Tic-tac-toe game.

Leverage the advantages of the system and solve real problem.

All I wanted is to read a fucking article.

The UX is stunning, my friends.. I can feel real PROs were on this. /s

## MOTHER FUCKERS!

So I just found this app, called LifeRPG. It lets you play your life as a game, compleating quests for exp and "gems"(which you can then trade for custom rewards.. I'm thinking.. Ice cream~ <3) I think this will help keep me motivated more to do actual things in my life. Maybe.. We'll have to see. I already set up a bunch of daily missions, and continous missions.

I think this is the first time that my real name is available as my username 🙆‍♂️

Hahahaha, great start of Monday, discovering angry passive/aggresive comments from previous devs.. xD

// what is this? ever heard of CSS?
// css is for pussies, real men hardcode

// jQuery mixed with Ext. Awesome

After working for about 3 years of my life I've established the following;

Work is mostly stupid people praising other stupid people about their stupid work, while clever people remain in the shadows. Will this be true for the rest of my career or am I just working at a company with a bad culture?

And this is the real rant

This is the real software engineering evaluation

This guy is asking the 'real questions'.

Is this real?

Everyone knows that coworker who just defies anything you say for no reason.

Me: "Ah, nice day today isn't it?"
CW: "Actually, today is historically mediocre compared to the rest of the days that have ever occurred."

Imagine trying to solve real problems with this dude.

Let’s be real here for a second.

All I really want in my life is this virtual doggo!

A real virtual good boy!

Linux evangelism is real.

Credit to Reddit and my brother for waking me up at 3am to show me this.

Yes, this is actually a real thing.

I wonder in what you learn in the prerequisite "Keyboard and Mouse skills" class if this one teaches you how to type and delete text...

This is real. I Used to hop distros like a mad man and I stopped hopping after installing arch and started hopping between desktop environments and window managers. Source: r/linuxmastrrrace

This is for real, not the meme part though

WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS REAL?

I got a call from a managment institute asking me if I have any MBA plans after graduation.

I said no and asked the person where did he get my number.

He said: Google

Like how? How does this even work? HOW?

Everyone is going to Halloween parties this weekend and I'm going to a Hack-a-thon. I think I I'm the real winner here.

when you work for a place that has plain text passwords in the db. lol
I asked head of department if he knew what salting/hashing passwords was and he said no.... is this real life?

Just read a forum thread where someone uses an excel spreadsheet as their database for a PHP website. What makes it worse is they have done this for the past 12 years.

Is this real or someone taking the piss?

When Coronavirus become a household name, our Manager said:

"This is a good to time to build a real-time chat system like Zoom. If anyone is able to build something like it, it will help our company grow."

[Silence]

Manager: "There is a lot of demand."

[More silence]

This meeting is not real. There is no spoon

Did not expect this from Google. Seems like you're hiring real linguistic pros.

Now this is not the only thing I didn't like, they're very disorganized & the interviewer got sick & two of three interviewers were so cocky.. bad bad vibes

On the other side, a small local company is giving warm & good vibes, seems more accommodating even with lower pay.. their website sucks & the tech director was honest & smiling.

So yeah, Fuck You Google
..|.

Is this real??

Now I know this buzzword shit is real

The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.

What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.

My favorite part of devRant is that I always feel compelled to [read more]. This is real life. Sometimes a proper rant can't be summed up in a witty phrase or two.

Applies for Android Internship

Supervisor: Work with this Image Processing Library to "RECOGNIZE" objects from the phones camera.

Me: Wuuuuuh....?

Supervisor: Also it should be in real time and can't use internet.

Me: But that's impossible....

Supervisor: Align your goals with the company's goal. Nothing is impossible......(gets all motivational)

Me: 😩🔫

The struggle is real:

"Honey, it's five in the morning. Go to bed!"

"But mom, I am programming this-"

"GO TO BED NOW!!!"

"Damn mom, chill. I'm going now"

Instagram in a nutshell:
1. Posting a meme without real picture
2. Getting likes
3. Comments:
- Bots: "Amazing","Beautiful view!","you wanna see my nudes?😍😍😍❤️❤️💘💘💘💦💦"
- people :"@randomdude bro this is funny because xy Haaha"
4. FOLLOWERS DON'T SEE MY POST BECAUSE INSTAGRAM IS STILL PROUD OF THEIR NON CHRONOLOGIC-FEED!!

I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.

Indian tech companies can put in weird skill requirements at times. See point 2, for fuck's sake is this real?! And it obviously contradicts point with point 5 right?

I can't tell you how much I hate people who make articles doing relatively simple things, in node, and instead of showing how to do it, they proceed tell you to install a fucking package (usually made by them)

Yeah no thanks, it's great that you figured this out and took the time to "enlighten" other devs but I'll just look at your repo and use the native JavaScript functions you wrapped on myEgoInflatingPagacke.justAWrapperHuehue(). Bye.

In an exam today having to read through two pages of writing on paper. So my brain automatically goes "ctrl-f"...then I realise this is real and I have to read the whole thing FML

I just had the most surreal email discussion I think I've ever had...

I spent over two hours going back-and-forth over email with an enterprise DBA, trying to convince them I needed a primary key for a table. They created the table without a primary key (or any unique constraints... or indexes... but that's another discussion). I asked them to add one. Then had to justify why.

If you ever find yourself justifying why you need a primary key on a table in an RDBMS, that's the day you find yourself asking "is this real life?"

I want the last two hours of my life back. And a handful of Advil.

Today on forgotten movies – Chronicle.

A very grim, very dark movie about accidental superpowers discovery, but with some school-shooter vibes.

Don't you find it predictable how in regular movies a hero saves the world against all odds in the very last moment? Well, forget about it here – this movie is not "cinematic" at all, and that's what I like about it.

A horror in regular movies doesn't usually scare because the image itself is too perfect – you don't usually see the world like this. It doesn't seem real, that's the problem. By adopting the "found footage" screen language, Chronicle delivers the horror perfectly, because the world in it seems perfectly real, just like you see it through obscure youtube videos named MOV_0115 or IMG1014.

I like it that the characters actually look like real people, not like stereotypical superheroes and not even like enhanced versions of people that try to sell you an idea of what "success" looks like.

People in the movie also act real. They're weak, they're scared, they're irrational, and you really start to believe that yeah, this is what probably gonna happen when a human faces something as unbearable as superpowers discovery. And, as weird as it sounds, the superpower itself also looks totally real – raw, unpolished, uncontrollable force that requires getting used to and probably is too much for a regular human. Definitely not a perfect, tailored thing that turns anyone into Mary Sue.

Overall, this movie is the most immersive one I've ever seen. If you want to see what would really happen if you discover a superpower, this movie is for you.

Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from such real or perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.

^^^ This sums up my last year as a systems engineer perfectly

Yay, my raspberry pi and it's projects are now on php7

Damn, Apache was the real pain in the ass with this migration, # ae2enmod php7.2 apparently is for it to decide if it will respect my sudo'n decisions😂

NoMad.WorkWeek.over(True)

TFIF()

What the fuck is this?
I'm so confused...
Where is the Netflix app? Is this real life?
Please help me.

Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.

How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.

Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?

Or is this just some piss take?

I use this timer app... probably more than most people (for food). It works fine and looks nice but the undismissable warning message is a real eyesore. Why not just let me dismiss the message.... why...

Enjoying my new dev environment already.

This is a real install alongside my existing windows install. Surprisingly enough, windows has in no way complained about Arch!

Had to put down my dog today. I've felt real shitty before but this is my closest experience of loss I've had.

I miss her so much you guys. I'm sorry for bringing it down. You guys all feel like a real community so help me feel my feels and not just push it down.

Is this the real life..?

They don't tell you this is in uni but your skill in merge conflict and circular dependency resolution is more essential in the real world than your knowledge of data structures.

Sleeping the Thread for 1 sec, because the database had no real timestamp and a transaction on the same item within the same second would lead to a doubled primary key...

No real feature, but it is a bug and this makes it a feature I guess.

If you ever feel that you have a shitty job just remember that there is a programming language called Brainfuck and at least once in time it was someone's job to debug a real program written in Brainfuck. For context, this is a 'Hello World' program in Brainfuck:

++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.

And here is the same program in the Python programming language:

print('Hello World')

This weekly rant topic is a real pain in the ass for my OCD.
Holy fuck, people can be that lazy?

Stakeholder: Users are connecting invalid memberships to their web accounts. They shouldn’t be able to do that.

Me: Their memberships were valid when they set up the account. Your team’s record de-duping project is the issue here. You decided to mark those memberships as invalid.

I’m real tired of this stakeholder acting like this is a website issue or user error. Plus, this chaos could have been avoided if they and other involved stakeholders had just cc’d me on this de-duping project. I would have said their approach was not a good idea. But they didn’t because they want to do what’s convenient for them. If they want to be a reliable source of truth for our data, then they need to be responsible with how they’re handling that data.

Is this real? 😳

- Finish own blogging website (Vue/Flask as front/back-end)
- Improve my recently published Android App
- Learn ML (have a book for it)
- Maybe start learning Go or Rust

I guess that is way to optimistic but point 2 & 3 should be enough for 2018.

BUT there is also the real world:
- Graduating school
- Start studying.

So this is me for 2018 (at least the first half of it):

!rant

I kinda match my avatars desk enviornment, minus the laptop xD

A real chef will rant about a freaking knife sharpness and weight and handle and all that shit. Because a real chef knows what he is holding.

Us? We are happy as long as the knives in our hands can cut some stuffs or stab some people.

// Disclaimer : I just left this comment on a rant where OP claimed many users (average users) have no issues with a particular OS while a bunch of self proclaimed developers have lots of trouble with that particular OS.

This is so real... 😯

Is this real life? Top two stories are bonkers.

Big names in the EU is visiting this city today. Traffic is fked up and I have been at the office real early today. Good thing that I brought my Switch so I can play some games while I am alone

This burnout shit is real. Time to take some vacation time.

Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...

My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.

The albino cube.

Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.

And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.

Hollywood vs RealLife

Ok it is official I need a life. I mean a real life with those things called "friends", "parties" etc. etc.

I realized this while looking at some code I, loudly, said "Wow today's is your birthday you're exactly two months old!".

I let you guess reaction of my colleagues.

Currently literally sitting in a meeting about meetings. Like for real, the topic the last 15 minutes has been what the difference between 3 of the daily team meetings is.

Then the dumbass who booked this for two hours says about one of the others "an hour is long"

i dreamed a parallel reality

not even fking joking rn

it was MORE REAL THAN THE REALITY WE LIVE HERE

IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE I FKING LIVED IN ANOTHER REALM

this has never happened to me before ever

this shit woke me up at about 4:30 AM and i couldnt sleep for the rest of the fking day

i slept for 1h 30min

after i woke up it took me a couple of minutes to figure out if that realm was the base reality or if this current realm the reality we live in is the real base reality....

i wass fuckjgm lost !

there were 2 identical scenes that happened to me in the first and second realm

but both scenes had a different outcome, the realm i was in the dream had such a good outcome that it felt too good to be real BECAUSE I FKING DREAMED OF EXPERIENCING THAT I ACHIEVED HALF OF MY DREAM, WITHIN THE DREAM

And when i woke up and realized i returned back to this fucking realm i was so goddamn disappointed that i just wanted to go back to fkig sleep and just.. die

what the fuck

my brain is overwhelmed with bullshit and lies so much that i can not distinguish what is fake and what is real

fuck, eeverything in this existence

Fixing the fucking vacuum cleaner, looks like it finally died, dunno how and why, maybe the carbon brushes in the motor are gone or it's just full of dust and crap because noone changes the fucking dust filter... ever!

I don't know about y'all but this is a HUGE FUCKING DEAL for me.
Imposter Syndrome is real but it comes and goes. Just fucking believe in yourselves!

When some random Assembly code I got off the OSDev Wiki actually booted on real hardware. This is where I'm meant to be.

This is some real shady shit...
I was trying to set my office 365 account we got from school to gmail in my phone and this is what it wants to be able to do. In summary (Dutch screenshots):
- It can disable important safety features,
- Lock me out of my phone at any moment,
- Encrypt all data,
- Or just erase all of it
- And watch me while they do it

Nice.

CTO for the picture.

This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.

Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.

This weekly is getting really popular with so many rants coming in.
Shows the extent to which real coders/programmers/developers are tormented by the incompetent education system.
Here is my two cents:
Students should be taught to build their logic on paper before jumping on to their keyboards.

Either CloudFlare itself has decided to join the fun of attacking my DNS server, or somebody is just spoofing their IP in the UDP packets.
Crap, my ipset script is basically useless now, since the real source could be from anywhere :(

Any suggestions on what could I do to make this attack stop? It's not causing any real issues (at least for now), but it's still annoying as hell.
Get fucked, stupid skiddie who keeps manually changing the ip source in his script

What is it with devs who try to bloody "cost optimise" everything to within an inch of its life when there's no reason to do so?! This ain't your personal pocket money project here. This is a real commercial app with real consequences.

Seriously, saving £100 a month might seem like a lot to you, but this is a multi million pound project we're talking about. That's bloody nothing, and no-one will care. If a Fargate spot instance restarts at the wrong time and causes downtime though, or if we need logs going back a week, and don't have them because the log retention period is a few days, then everyone will be royally pissed. All because you thought "it should be ok", or it "seemed like the right thing to do". Sod off.

This is the real shit

!rant

That feeling you get when you write a fairly complex 800 line long class without testing anything and it compiles without errors on the first try.

someone just upvoted my question on stackoverflow. this is the first out of 7 questions i posted that got at least 1 upvote. this cant be real...

CppCon2017 is COMING guys!! All these crazy speakers and conference! I won't say their names because they are too many x) But... FUCK ! That's the only moment I wish I lived in USA... No streaming, can't go... Only one thing to do, wait the upload on YouTube...
When I see people hyped about GoT or whatever... Guys this is the REAL HYPE!!!

Don't understand what the hype about Elementary OS was. Used for ca. half a year, do not see any benefit.

If this is supposed to provide "usability" on a Linux kernel, then I am sorry, but in this regard it is a tremendous failure.

All tasks take long, there are all sorts of bugs, today I needed a multi-monitor setup for a presentation "real quick", dear lord was that a shitshow.

Nah, this thing is not for me.

We got degrees celcius below 0, even a bit of snow laying around and the train is NOT half an hour late.
Can this be?
Is this the real world?
Normally they go "oh, could be snowing today, let's fuck that shit up"
I would say, today there is even a small chance that I get where I want to go SOMEWHAT IN TIME, yeah!😅

This is the current condition of tcs in india.
Fucking servers are busy providing sessions from 3 hours.
This is a contest organised by tcs india for college student and this was a demo round(mockvita). Just to prepare students for the real challenge.
6 hour challenge , i completed it in 3 and now when its my turn to upload the java file its showing me this fucking shit. I fucking coded for 3 hours straight and now when the shit is working, their servers just say fuck off.
Its a global contest and this shit is happening for real.

Wow. That's a new level of ratings.
Just read ratings like these below an ascii cam app(which works like it should):
"This is just a camera witu a mosaic filter, that's why you can't save the pictures as ascii"
"This is not real ascii because you can't save it as .txt or .html"

I don't think i need to say anything.

Today.

Client: “can you make this last minute change to something fundamental?” (Paraphrased)

Me: “yes it’s doable but a major pain in the ass at this late stage”

Client: “great! Well if it’s just a quick change sit tight in it just now and i’ll let you know tomorrow if it’s to go ahead”

Me: “is this real life?”

y=math.sqrt(-2) // this is shit
x= y*y // shit just got real

Had my junior test at work yesterday, and...oh boy. I don't think I've ever been so stressed in my life.

>inb4 "welcome to the real world kid"

Yeah yeah I know but god damn, this was too much. I heard from seniors that you get used to everyday stress, it comes with the job, but junior test ( aka "stress test") is the breaking point for most "new" arrivals.

The test itself tho is not even that hard. Dealing with so much stress and time pressure for the first time is what gets you. Not knowing what happens if you don't pass certainly doesn't help.

I broke down at one point and even after finishing, going home (got no sleep) and coming back today, that feeling of hopelessness is still there.

No real point to this rant, I just needed to vent

This is the real times. This is not that it's happening right now, this is pretty regular. Lesson? Rethink before you decide the variable type

this is a real screenshot from a bootleg mario game. wow.

I heard we were taking pictures of our real desks. Is this still a thing?

FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS

Who the fuck thought "Oh lets put all caches in the options table". This is so incredible dumb. The options table has nearly 8GB and is just unusable. The query for the "real options" takes about 3s. To export this fucking shit I had to block the prod server for 20 minutes to get a db dump. I want to womit in the mouth of the fucking idiot who did this.

"Real devs test in production", in practice.

This was actually the second such notification I received. Not sure if this is standard for mobile app testing...

So now I’m working with this code that is roughly documented because ”variable names are self-explanatory”.

Yeah, you just forgot that FORTRAN does not support utf-8 variable names...

Why utf-8? Because then if I see:

real :: 座標(3)

I would understand that you mean ”zahyō”, the usual 3D position array ”r(3)”, but no, I need to deal with:

real :: zah(3)

yeah...🙃🔫

!rant
My mother got me a programmagle calculator this year for christmas, a Casio fx9750gII. Needless to say I'm already hooked. Casio BASIC might not be the best language I've ever used, and working with string is pretty much impossible but I'm actually having real fun. Hopefully I'll finish my snake code by this week (will update with pics :P).

Is it real that github are changing master to main? Does this mean I need to call my dungeon master main now? She’s not going to be happy...

!dev
I've got problems.
I deleted a porn video I had and now I've been trying to find it on a site I visit regularly for the past week with no real guarantee that it'll even be there.

I mean, a book is understandable, but a frickin' porn video?
Save me from this procrastination guys.

DOS is not “Disk Operating System”. DOS, aka QDOS, is “Quick and Dirty Operating System”. This is real. Google it.
Similarly, Windows CE is not “Compact Embedded”. It's “Chaotic Evil”.

I don't think the Internet became toxic because of anonymity like all those people claimed post-90s

I think it became toxic because normal people with their real life cultures found it and brought their real life cultural norms onto it

I've been thinking why are video games communities so much more holistic than other types of communities
the last few years this is becoming less and less the case, however
and now even games suck.

games now, instead of their old cultures, are becoming derivative plain cultures
everything has to be easy, meaningless, shallow
everybody has to follow the meta or people rage at you with their entitlements to your behaviour
it's exactly like real life!

mystery solved

I have saved my sister's contact number with the nickname. Few days back I've noticed that her surname is automatically added to the nickname. Today I've noticed that her nickname is replaced with her real name in my Android mobile.

When I checked my contact list I noticed that there are 2 contacts, one with nickname, another with her real name.

Is this a new trick Google playing?

Working with old codebase...

multiplyNumbers(2,5)
//adds the numbers together

What the fuck??! 4th grade math-terms??! This is real, btw

I don't have a "most painful error".

The real pain for me is the

WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING

I'VE DONE THIS 1000 TIMES BEFORE

THIS ISN'T HARD

THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE THIS LONG...

It's just the worst combo of events / feelings / leads to the hopeless depths of imposter syndrome and etc.

so a year ago, a client tried to sue our company because he is a dick. we terminated the contracted and went our ways. a year later he wants to come back to us because he thought he could run his real estate business himself using WordPress! I really hate this asshole

Sometimes I sit and stare at my broken code and think "Is this it? Is now the time that I have actually encountered a real problem that has no google-able solutions? Is this a bug with the framework I'm using? Surely not."

and After sometime of increasing the squint in my eyes and decreasing the distance between the monitor and my face... I realise that it was a spelling mistake causing the issue.

Me when there's bible study in the morning

(note: this is my actual real face)

Timesheets, timesheets, timesheets. Business bureaucracy. Stuff like this is just a way to prevent any real work from actually getting done.

I know im being unreasonable but fuck that noise.

"Hey can you make this excel report for me real quick? Here are the columns, you gotta get them from this table in the database. Shouldn't take long."

Alright, sounds easy enough wait where is the data. I have to join how many tables? What is this bullshit data? I want to strangle the guy who modeled this piece of garbage.

Money.

I wish I had a more philosophical answer like building cool shit, but this is real life, so I've made it as a dev when I make at least ₹20 lakh per year.

I couldn't easily find it again and I didn't screenshot it yesterday. But this is not made up.

Yesterday I found a Sponsored post on Facebook about a class for one of WordPress premium theme with visual builder. Well it's more like a workshop rather than a class.

The description said if you want to have stable income, want to work from home, want to experience a *real developer life*, etc etc.

REAL DEVELOPER LIFE. No kidding.

I do WordPress websites. Yes I use premium themes. Yes I do visual builder. Fuck but I don't call that work real dev work and I'm not proud of those projects as real dev works.

In the end, the hungrier guy gets the bread. I guess. I haven't thought of providing such courses at all.

PS : the mentioned theme is Divi from Elegantthemes.

studied node.js (express) and socket.io today, then implemented a real time chat service in our site. I can say that this is the best and at the same time worst day of my life. I started 1:00 pm and ended 4:30 am.

I’m shocked, some of the hideously embarrassing questions these dim mother fucking senators have been asking Zuckerberg. Is this for real?

I find lately my biggest challenge as a developer is sticking with one editor. Currently it is a battle between Sublime Text 3 and Atom. Not a battle where I switch every few days. This is a battle where I find myself switching at least once a day for no real reason.

In january this year i convinced my whole team to switch from Skype to Stride. And now Stride announced that they are teaming up with Slack... I am going to look like complete idiot because we have to switch once again ... 😥

Need confirmation:
A friend message me (this) saying that “it came from Mark Zuckerberg himself and facebook will...” blah blah and then another friend asked me if this is for real.
Let me know your thoughts on this, because I’m not really sure if I should resend it as well

Screen real estate is directly proportional to productivity. Employers understand this!

burn out is real!!! how do I beat this shit???

48 boolean variables.
For real?

It's clear why the class name is "GameHardActivity", this certainly is hard to maintain, understand, edit, and believe.

I can understand people learning, but with 2 years of experience in programming??? And there's a matrix right in the middle!!!! USE ARRAYS, PLEASE!!!!

Never create a work around for assholes. It will eventually become their solution.

Man fuck this guy, this project is almost a year old and it was originally supposed to be a patch. But even with all my insisting, they never tried to move to the real solution.

Now this jackass brings it up and he's a hero, and I don't know what I'm doing. What a fucking way to start the week.

Today i tried made some finishing touches on my discord bot. After dome struggling i finally managed to host it on heroku.

This is what happened after I put it on a real server and my dorm shut down internet access

RethinkDB is such a rediculous overengineered BIGGEST BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER UNFORTUNATELY USED.

Does anyone even use this total shit????

This shit eats RAM memory for just 1 CRUD operation as if you opened 10,000 google chrome tabs. Who the fuck thought that kind of technology is a good idea?

Yes it IS very fast, a real time database. But you'd have to have a multi-million dollar supercomputer to be able to handle so much data like a relational database can....

Quite a few years ago (late 90s, early 00s maybe) I remember watching a TV show where they demonstrated what virtual reality might be like. It was all rough polygons, no lighting or texturing etc.

I'd heard about the Oculus Rift and considered trying it. I get motion sickness sometimes from certain 3D games (Deus Ex, Portal, sometimes even Minecraft) so was hesitant. Last week, decided to just get one and see how it went.

Didn't expect it to be as good as it is - compared to what was envisaged ~20 years ago. No motion sickness. Not only was the graphics detail amazing but the responsiveness is insane. In another 20 years time what will there be?

Anyway on dev topic: Now it makes me want to play with a 3D/VR engine. Considering Unreal Engine but not really sure where to start learning. Maybe a book? Though reviews tend to say they go out of date quick, I do prefer a physical book for learning tech stuff.

Doing some basic car repair, thinking "this is real work, perhaps I should consider a change", then I drop something that goes into something else into something that looks broken.

Keeping it cool, looking for a keyboard for the good old ctrl+z, a chock occurs... Cries

Oh YES! THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!

So, ive finally got better headphones, REAL headphones, not my old Wireless Gaming Headset...

and the difference IS NIGHT AND DAY! I cant go back anymore!

Beyerdinamic really knows their shit...

I've been writing SQL queries for almost 19 years now. At this point I've done more right outer joins in job interviews than I've actually needed to do in real life. Why is this such a common interview question?

Teach data structures by showing how they're used in real life situations. Don't make us do some nonsense puzzle shit. For example, a friend of mine is learning stacks/queues right now and his assignment is to build a simple HTML parsing algorithm to determine whether an HTML file is valid. This shows the student a practical use of the data structure and reinforces that this shit actually does get used in real life.

Dear developer guy who wrote this documentation node!

You're a developer yourself. Don't you know that inverse psychology is something you should avoid, because it will not work?

Thanks!
---

Okay for real, why shouldn't one parse Build.FINGERPRINT on Android? I was looking for a way to determine if the device is an emulator or not, and came across a solution using this, and read the documentation.

I have legitimately identified an 9 figure (possibly more) market with 1. massive demand, 2. sufficient supply, 3. literally, I kid you not, zero companies in the field. No regulations to speak of.

The overhead is trivial and it is very much a network-effect based market.

No I am not joking. Yes this is real.

What do?

edit: 9 figures not 8. Yes it's that big.

Bruh....ig this is a bit too much but relatable to real life...
God is the best programmer....

lol

Today I actually used a data structure other then List or Map for a real problem!!!

This is like a once in a year, several years thing? (Technical interviews don't count)

Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.

Also Me Sometimes later:

MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.

God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.

This is a real history..

So i went to my friend’s party.. and he invited this hot girl.. (u know the girl that would never talk to any programmer)..
so she started asking me about programming, maths, software...

and I was like wtf.. is this real? (because u guys know that this is impossible jaja)
Actually, we spent all night talking about it..

for some reason she started hanging out with me and my friend..

now we are dating.. kind of crazy uh?
(she is an engineer btw)

What is the use of this keyword in js?

Explain it with a real world example

Some days when I'm really effective and create good solutions and deploy it at high speed to the praise of users.
I can't help but raise my arms in victory and announce: "Damn I'm good!".
Screw the olympics, this is winning in real life.

I need to create a couple of websites real quick, mostly brochure style...
I don't normally do this, but, in this case, I have to.
I'm a programmer though, not a designer

What would you recommend for someone like me, that's fast, but reilable

All I can think of, is wordpress but that's a dirty word around here (for seeminglyg ood reason)

anything else?

I made this site which is nice. Its a nice project plus I made this for my own. So I decided to book a domain for it.

Turns out every possible name is booked and it started pissing me off. I mean how positive people are for startups.

They made this a real-state business. Saw land acquire it. You never know which one will be next facebook ha!

Then I hit git.com which was parked too. I thought god bless you and your money.

We had our first "real" sprint planning yesterday. This was a very superficial planning session, as my manager is, by the looks of it, not to keen on the whole "new process thing". Probably because it's not his way of doing things... or simply more simply put - this way round means he'll need find some new ways to crawl up the CTOs ass!

So glad I'm leaving!

The scope for this project was absolute horse shit, and now they are mad because the end product is still horse shit...

I want to feel guilty for the outcome, but I just can't. This is something they should have had foresight for. Validation and testing is absolutely atrocious here. No official real scenario testing, and now the whole thing has been blown wide open for all the shit it can't do.

Just started watching mr Robot, not liking that much to be honest, but still decided to give it a try. Then mr robot takes out the piece of paper with a wrong IP address on and I'm like =_= "is this for real or are they joking with me"?

When you use Git for the first time and your project from 29 commit jump to 62 for continous error with Pull Request.

Of this new 33 commit, only 3 are REAL commit.

Four hour for reset and fix all The master branch.

But finally all is fixed and i've learned more on Git... (?)

Seriously, is this guy for real?😂😂

" Under the hood... the program is using a mix of condition-based learning, procedural generation of sentences/questions, and relational queries based on weighted 'topic' identifiers. It can create its own original statements and questions. It is real-time, and it really does 'think' (an internal dialogue feedback loop)." = If Statement

I saw this in the description for an app aclled "Real AI"

So this is real. In the store I work at. It appears everything is still ok...