Based on popular demand, we're proud to introduce a basic image repost detector on devRant!

Right now it uses very simple hashing to see if an exact copy of an image was posted recently. If it was, then we display an error and we don't allow the image to be posted.

This is experimental so if you experience any issues with it please let me know.

If you don't know SQL, then just mention NoSQL in your CV.

My 7 year old sister: Why do you always use the duck? Go on google.

Me: Because Google spies on you.

Sister: How??

Me: *too tired to explain* by magic. Whatever you go on, they'll know.

Sister: *shocked expression* WHAT? *proceeds to ask a million questions.*

Sister: What do I do now?

Me: Use the duck (she calls ddg "the duck.")

Then a few hours later, I saw her playing Y8 on DuckDuckGo. I'm so proud of her. :)

Now if only I can convince my 15 year old little brother to do the same thing. He doesn't seem to care at all.

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

If you know I want to exit then why don't add the parenthesis yourself??

Fixing family / friends technical problems, episode 2.

Problem: "I lost my iPhone, I know there's a thing that lets you find it. Can you help?"

Debugging:

Me: sure, it's called "find my iPhone"

Friend: ah yes that's it. How do I use it?

Me: I'll show you, just login here and ... oh you didn't set it up?

Friend: Probably not, I don't know much about this computer stuff.

Me: ... when you setup your phone for the first time, it's a full screen thing that says "do you want us to locate your phone if it's lost. Yes / No". It's hardly writing an encryption algorithm now is it?

Friend: no it's not, but still I just didn't know. I probably clicked no for everything.

Me: ... says here you clicked yes for iCould ... and yes for photo sync ... so you read the one about your pictures but not about lost or stolen property ... nice.

Friend: ... so you can't find it then.

Me: No, natural selection took it away from you.

Friend: oh **** off.

Rant!!

Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..

I answer the call...

Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..

Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally

Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..

She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet

People in my office sing me praises for what I can do with Linux even though I joke with them that “I have no idea how to do that - but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I’ll figure something out for you.” I even once specifically said in response to my boss commenting on my skills, “You do realize that I just like…google stuff when you ask me to do something with Linux that I don’t know how to do, right?”

But his praise didn’t change at all. There was no “Wait, that’s all it is?”

Instead, he said “Yes, but the fact that you think to do that - and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you’ve learned and use it going forward - is still so much more than any of the rest of us can do. To you, it’s “just googling stuff,” but it’s still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don’t shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay?“

And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don’t undervalue your googling skills, kids. It’s not lying if you know you can figure it out.

*Interview*

Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?

Me: What is that I'll be doing?

I: What technologies and languages do you know?

Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?

I: Any experience working on frontend?

Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?

I: Can you work with databases?

Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?

I: Can you do big data processing?

Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?

I: Any experience in cloud development?

Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?

I: Do you know CI CD?

Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.

I: Yes. Go ahead.

Me: What will be my position?

I: A full stack developer.

Me: What technologies do you use in your project?

I: We use all the latest tech.

Me: Like?

I: All latest tech.

Me: You mentioned big data processing?

I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.

Me: what do you use for that?

I: Java.

Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?

I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.

Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?

I: Just to know if you're familiar.

Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?

I: Flash

Me: 🙄

I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.

I: Are you willing to join?

Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.

Client: Glad to have you on the team, you come highly recommended for your experience in Microsoft technology, specifically asp.net

Me: I was contacted for a php, mariadb project

Client: well they're all the same

Me: actually sir no.... No they're not.

Client: then why was I told to contact you

Me: you tell me, your hiring manager contacted me for a php project not asp or. Net

Client: well I guess I know who to blame for your, sorry for taking your time. Can I contact you if we have a project made with that thing you mentioned?

Me: php?, Sure

Client: nice...... Take care

Me: you too

That went better than I expected

I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..

Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?

Me: No! 😑

Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.

Me: What do you want?

Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.

Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?

Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.

Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.

Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.

Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.

*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.

Storytime!

This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.

Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.

Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--

Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.

Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.

Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!

Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*

Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?

Customer: Yes, it has.

Me: On how many computers?

Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.

Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*

Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?

Me: *gives price*

Customer: And do you have any?

Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*

Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.

Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?

Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*

Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!

Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.

Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?

Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.

Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.

Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3

Customer: ...Okay, fine

Me: *updates the ticket*

When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."

If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.

If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?

If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.

If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.

If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.

IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.

Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.

"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."

Pause....

"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."

I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:

"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"

Me: Can you go to that page and see if the issue is fixed?

Colleague: if I go there it breaks things

Me: yes, it should be fixed now, can you please check it to make sure?

Colleague: but if I go there it will break things

Me: Can you just go to the page

Colleague: it broke something

Me: what did it break?

Colleague: I don't know

Me: ...then how do you know it's broken

Colleague: because the gallery doesn't work

Me: WELL THEN THATS WHAT'S FUCKING BROKEN THEN ISN'T IT

Everything was going fine in the Interview, then:

Company X's HR: "So if you are selected in both X and Y, which one would you choose 😊?"

Me: 🤔🤔🤔 Long deep thoughts...

HR: "😒 I know your answer is X, But why X 😑?"

Me: Oh.. X! Hmm.. 🤔🤔

Result:
Successfully Rejected
#BeingHonest

Moral:
If you are sitting for X's interview, you have to always choose X with no lag, even if Y= Google.

All well; Ends Well: Placed in Y👍

PS: Here, X, Y and Me are real-life entities.

Four semesters in. As a class we’ve learned Java, SQL, HTML/CSS, JavaScript, C++, C#, and a small amount of PHP

We’ve built databases, websites, apps for phone and desktop, and we’ve toyed with game development in unity

We’ve used multiple IDE’s with differing pros and cons, virtual machines, server development stacks (XAMPP), data structures, and we’ve used multiple sorting algorithms to learn their differences.

Some things on here are immensely more difficult than others. If at 4 semesters in you still don’t know how to AT LEAST google your issues for 10 minutes or even READ THE DAMN BOOK, then please don’t bother asking TA’s for help we have our own assignments to do and can’t afford spend an hour working with you to fix your code while you just ignore our suggestions

Four semesters in you should know where to find help online and if that doesn’t work, how to ask for and accept help. If you can’t then I’m sorry. I’m going to spend my time helping others, before I waste my time trying to help you

Apparently, part of being a software engineer means knowing how to read minds and do other people's jobs.

While implementing a user story for marketing, we found some associated features that, according to the database, have not been used for years. We tell them this. We do the courtesy of asking, "Hey, is there anything on the site that is utilizing these features? We'd like to clean up the DB."

"We don't know."

Engineering suggests, "Ok, lets turn the feature off, then, and see if anyone complains. It's been years according to the DB."

Marketing gets angry and hostile and says, "That's not the way to do things!"

I don't vocalize, "Well, not knowing how to do your own damned job is not the way to do things."
-
Marketing asks us to integrate a third party feature to the site. We ask, "Ok, what page do you want it on, and what information do you want to collect, and what should it look like?"

"I don't know. You're engineering. You tell us."

We implement it as best we can.

Marketing says, "HEY! This isn't done right! It's missing this and this and this!"

"Did you ask us to implement that? According to the user story, it passes acceptance criteria."

Marketing says, "I thought you would just know that! I didn't know it was a separate thing. Just put it on all the pages, then. You guys really should know the site better."

Engineering gets angry and hostile
-
Marketing says, "We need this removed from the site."

Engineering replies, "We have a GUI for that. Just go to this URL and you can do it yourself."

Marketing replies, "Well, if that's a really complicated thing, can you just run a script against the DB?"

Engineering says, "If we've built a UI for you, we really shouldn't be executing SQL scripts directly against the DB."

Marketing gets angry and hostile.
-
Engineering tries asking nicely.

"Marketing, if you want us to add new stuff to the site, or change stuff, please tell us what it is and where it should go and what the customer experience should be like."

Marketing replies, "We don't know the site that well. We are leaning on you to tell us."

I do not vocalize, all while trying to keep my eyes from bulging out of my head, my face red with rage, "YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF SELLING SHIT ON A WEBSITE THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. YOU ARE ASKING FOR CHANGES TO SOMETHING YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?"

Engineering is angry and hostile.

When you introduce your girlfriend to your Best friend and after some time they start dating each other and you are unaware of the situation but after sometime you get to know about their relationship , now you're really pissed and want to take revenge, then you remember that the girl's parents are strict af and you know that they won't tolerate that their daughter is in relationship
so, you tell her parents about her and
they decide to send her to a different school located in another city
The End

tl;dr
When two pointers are pointing to a same memory location then if any one of them deallocates the memory, the other pointer becomes a dangling pointer
:v

Had this conversation with a friend a while ago (not dev related). He convinced me to start working on a design! (detail: he doesn't know me well, know him through a best friend but I consider him a friend)

Friend: *shows new tattoo* what ya think?
Me: awesome man! I still idk maybe want a tattoo too...
Friend: ohhh! What of?
Me: uhm well... my favourite music genre... uhm...
Friend: what's up with your doubts?
Me: well.... everyone always tells me not to tattoo anything relating to music because musical taste cab change easily...
Friend: may I guess the genre?
Me: yeah sure :)
Friend: hardstyle, maybe raw hardstyle/rawstyle?
Me: yup!
Friend: well why wouldn't you get a tattoo of it?!
Me: well, I mean what if my taste changes?
Friend: dude. do you have the slightest clue how fucking happy/energetic you look when you hear that music?! It'd be hard to imagine you losing your love for that genre! And if then, then what? That genre has gotten you through the darkest places, most difficult times and has pretty much made you into the person you are right now, even if you'd change factories genres, it'd be a reminder of how you beat getting bullied and became the person you are now!
Me: yeah.... but everyone keeps telling me that its not a good ide..'
Friend: fuck them. You love this music to the fucking point, you told me earlier that you'd like to start producing it!
Fuck those people. If you'd like it, go get that fucking tattoo!

I love that guy!

Anyone into electronic music production here? I could use some tips 😅

Just a heads up since sometimes these things get missed on new devRant version releases: you can now download images attached to rants by tapping on the "share" icon on the top right of a rant and then selecting "save image". The image will be saved into the gallery on your device.

We've also improved Facebook and Twitter sharing.

Let us know if you have any questions!

I am but one man. Please remember that I am only human, and as much as I have automated, some things still take time.

Also,

I DON'T KNOW IT'S A FUCKING ISSUE UNTIL YOU MAKE ME AWARE OF SAID ISSUE. IF THIS ISSUE GOES ON FOR WEEKS, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AWARE. PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET ME KNOW BEFORE IT BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU. BECAUSE WHEN AN ISSUE BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU, YOY THEN BECOME A HEADACHE FOR ME.

Tinder is the worst app out there. I keep receiving notifies like "hey honey! You received x new likes!" or "you're performing well! A lot of people are appreciating you".
What's the problem, you say... well, the problem is that I HAVE NO A FUCKING ACCOUNT, I deleted my account months and months ago and if you want you can try it as well. Download, sign up, set the worst photo that you can find then delete your account, you'll receive a lot of awesome messages!
Actually I received these fake notifies also when my account was active, and when I opened it then I discovered that there was no new likes. But was so fucking hard to put an if statement to check if the user's account is active? Come on... I know you want to trick people and convince them using your app, at least do it the right way

Him: everything is hackable, you know
Me: oh well, enlighten me with an example.
Him: well take for example whatsapp, which was bought by facebook, so if Facebook is hackable, then why not WhatsApp
Me: ok, so tell me how do you hack Facebook ?
Him: just like how you hack WhatsApp.
Me: *digs in the Bosch toolkit to find and drilling machine* How about I drill some knowledge into you? *evil jack nicholson (the shining) smile*

when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.

checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.

he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.

i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..

2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..

I swear I work with mentally deranged lunatics.
Dev is/was using TFS's web api to read some config stuff..

Ralph: "Ugh..this is driving me crazy. I've spent all day trying to read this string from TFS and it is not working"
Me: "Um, reading a string from an web api is pretty easy, what's the problem?"
Ralph: "I'm executing the call in a 'using' statement and cannot return the stream."
Me: "Why do you need to return a stream? Return the object you are looking for."
Ralph: "Its not that easy. You can return anything from TFS. All you get back is a stream. Could be XML, JSON, text file, image, anything."
Me: "What are you trying to return?"
Ralph: "XML config. If I use XDoc, the stream works fine, but when I step into each byte from the stream, I the first three bytes have weird characters. I shouldn't have to skip the first three bytes to get the data. I spent maybe 5 hours yesterday digging around the .Net stream readers used in XDoc trying to figure out how it skips the first few bytes."
Me: "Wow...I would have used XDoc and been done and not worried about that other junk."
Ralph: "But I don't know the stream is XML. That's what I need to figure out."
Me: "What is there to figure out? You do know. Its your request. You are requesting a XML config."
Ralph: "No, the request can be anything. What if Sam requests an image? XDoc isn't going to work."
Me: "Is that a use-case? Sam requesting an image?"
Ralph: "Uh..I don't know...he could"
Me: "Sounds like your spending a lot of time doing premature optimization. You know what your accessing TFS for, if it's XML, return XML. If it's an image, return an image. Something new comes along, modify the code to handle it. Eazy peezy."
<boss walks in from a meeting>
Boss: "Whats up guys?"
Ralph: "You know the problem with TFS and not being able to stream the data I had all day yesterday? I finally figured it out. I need to keep this TFS reader simple. I'll start with the XML configs and if we more readers later, we can add them."
Boss: "Oh yea, always start simple and add complexity only when you need it."

Frack...Frack..Frack...you played some victim complaining to anyone who would listen yesterday (which I mostly ignored) about reading data from TFS was this monumental problem no one could solve, then you start complaining to me, I don't fall for the BS, then tell the boss the solution was your idea?

Lunatic or genius? Wally would be proud.

If there's anything I've learned till now then that's: You should know how to Google the *RIGHT* thing

Things I haven't learned: How to Google the *RIGHT* thing

Did you know..

There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.

Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..

So, a friend of mine just called me and asked what is it that I do in programming, and if I knew Java, because her stepfather owns a company, and they're currently hiring. Since she's not a tech person, I answered "basically, websites", but the stepfather was asking something else in the background, and she couldn't understand what the heck he was saying, so she put me on the phone with him.
I then explained, I do all kinds of web related stuff, from simple HTML single page sites, to WordPress themes and whatever, so I know PHP, Javascript, and all that crap.
And then, he asks me this wonderful question:
"And programming languages... ?", as in "do you know any?"
... I was like... Wut?...
I mean, I see where he's coming from. He probably meant compiled languages or something, but still... I felt like screaming at him "WEB DEVELOPERS ARE REAL PROGRAMMERS AND DESERVE SOME LOVE TOO YOU KNOW?! 😢"

I decided to go with a "nah, not compiled languages, no..."

"If you want to be a good developer then be good at one programming language." - I don't know why but I do not agree with this.

Hello fellow DevRanters!

Recently I have put together a UX survey about DevRant! Us!

If anyone is interested in filling it out, I'd greatly appreciate it.

The more responses the better! If you have a friend or know anyone who is interested in filling it out then sharing is caring! If not, a ++ wouldn't hurt to spread the word :)

If you have any questions, feel free to comment down below.

Why?
I am required to do a UX report of an app of my choice for my University assignment - I thought, why not?

FUCK THE RECRUITERS WHO ASK US TO MAKE AN ENTIRE PROJECT AS A CODE TEST.

Oh you need to scrape this website and then store the data in some DB. Apply sentimental analysis on the data set. On the UI, the user should be able to search the fields that were scraped from the website. Upon clicking it should consume a REST API which you have to create as well. Oh and also deploy it somewhere... Oh I almost forgot, make the UI look good. If you could submit it in one week, we will move towards further rounds if we find you fit enough.

YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU!

I can apply to 10 others companies in one week and get hired in half the effort than making this whole project for you which you are going to use it on your website YOU SADIST MOTHERFUCK

I CURSE YOUR COMPANY WITH THE ETERNITY OF JS CALLBACK HELL 😡😤😣

Me and colleague went to coffee shop to work...
C -> colleague
M -> Me

...
C: "do you know what I tell myself when I want to gain the courage to talk to a girl I like?":
M: (gave it some thought) "No what?"
C: "If internet explorer has the courage to ask me to become the default browser! Then what am I afraid of?"
M: "No wonder your relationships are buggy! And full of insecurities!"

1. Trust no one even yourself
2. Ask questions even if they are stupid
3. Test your solutions, even manually
4. Write comments
5. Take your time to solve problem, even if it looks like easy see point 1
6. Take some time during work to get familiar with code and read something about technology that is part of your current work - even if you know it - see point 1
7. Always try to see a big picture - see point 2 - why is it implemented is more important then how is it implemented

You know what does my fucking head in?

Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.

Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.

If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.

A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.

-Welcome to our entry level positing with Xyz company. I know we told your recruiter we are very hands on with developers. But we aren’t. Also you will be the only developer and there is no team.

-uh…. Okay..

-for the first part of your interview we are going to have you write a program in node that will reach out to our api and sort medical data with our clients.

-so you want me to create something live, and you’re going to be using it before you hire me in the actual work place?

-if it works, yes. Then we will decide on if we will hire you or not.

Wtaf?

sometimes in my head i go through code i wrote some time ago and think: "did i think of this case? if that happens something could go very wrong." when i look at the code i see that i already thought about it and catched the case back then. then i am like "daaaamn i am good".
do you know that feel? :D

Actually the worst fucking developer experience is meeting those all knowing people who think they know everything but actually they even don’t know how the fucking tools they’re using every day are written and how they work.

Those people that think when they installed library it should do everything how they imagined to and don’t fucking bother to debug problems and create pull requests if it’s fucking buggy.

Those fucking ranters who moan about something they don’t understand.

Those fuckers who think if they understood what A*, Dijkstra, graph algorithm is they’re smarter then others.

No you fuckers you’re dumb as fuck cause instead of explaining it to someone you just blame people for not knowing “obvious shit”.

All those fucking ignorants I am fucking writing about you.
You either start support each other or fuck you people.

OnePlus, first their price grow constantly closer to other companies prices, second when you make a poll to know if you should keep the headphones jack, the community says you should, and then make a phone without one... well you should have expected the backlash

Just got asked by our JIRA admin how to add in JIRA add-ons for our self hosted version.

... if you don't know why are you admin then!?

I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.

Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.

D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.

As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.

Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.

At a point in your life, you'll settle down abit, and you start to think about what you've done in the past (idk) years of your life.

Then you think about your career, how everything is ever since you discovered you were good at a certain thing since highschool.

be it programing, writing random codes, pentesting (or if you had that "hacker" phase in your life) or fixing laptops and etc.

"Good"

You think about the word, and you had a thought: You only know how to do it, how it works, how its done, and how to do it.

You only "Know", it takes practice, patience, dedication and years (or months depends on you) of experience before you can really say for sure you're "Good" at it.

Me? Im no where near good. but that doesn't stop me from going there.

And i hope the same goes for you. You can do it,

Have a great day.

It astounds me that people will actually pay thousands of dollars to come to a bootcamp and just fuck around...

Like we will spend an hour going over materials and concept and when it comes time to apply it and build something the kid next to me never knows what's going on! And then always asks me how to do it.

I tried being positive about it and be like hey if I can explain it to him...then that means I really know it!

Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm ready to strangle the kid.

He will sit on his phone playing games the whole time the lesson is going. Then when the lesson is over, put his phone down and immediately ask me how to do it...

The fuck!? Maybe if you'd just listen you'd know wtf you're doing by now you useless vapid brainless twatwaffle!

I wish I knew for sure I wouldn't offend certain people if they read this. I'll be vague for a reason..

WHY THE FUCK ARE. PI WRITING A PROGRAM IN A LANGUAGE OF YOUR LIKING AND THEN TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH FILE TO UPLOAD?!,!,!? How about the ones that make it work?

And why did you send the program, unformatted? This hurts.

I'm trying to teach these children how to fucking be professional in their jobs and this is what I'm working with.

How hard is it to know your tools and pick one that shows you know what you're doing????

And all this after the deadline, and the language written wrong

How many times have I ask my boss about the new project's deadline only to get "it has to be done by yesterday". Damn, boss, if you know, that we are occupied, then don't get a new project, only to blame the coder for promising an impossible deadline to the client!

Pattern I'm noticing...

*email* Hey, can you help me with my code, I don't know why it's not working...*end email*

no comments. if you wrote the shit and don't know what the blazes it's doing, how am i supposed to know what you broke? I'm not a mind reader, I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote the code.

true, I could go through and read it and try to figure it out, but then i'll be cranky and much less likely to want to help you in the future because you're causing unnecessary work, and part of my job is to get you ready for work environments, and I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY FUCKING POWER TO MAKE YOU THE ONE PERSON THAT EVERYONE DOESN'T HATE, BUT I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ME THE HELL OFF.

Oh, I'm sorry if I have spoken during this meeting. I didn't realise I was invited just so I would be told "we're not going into that much detail at this stage of the project". I was just trying to point out that when you mock up any UI, you should take into account the fact that information is hierarchical: more important stuff before less important stuff, you know. Maybe you don't want to swamp the user with buttons all the time. When everything is important, nothing is. But that's just detail. And then the boss says we should create two more incongruent screens and all of the sudden that's a brilliant idea! So then again, sorry. I know exactly where my place is now. You pretend you know what you're doing and I fix it for you.

Not a rant, just a tought:

I was thinking, how amazing is to work at software industry, I mean, is there any other field of work where you can start without knowing little to nothing of the thing you are going to work with?
Got hired to work with a friend of mine in his uncle's company, started as a technician, providing support to clients, after that, started coding little windows applications using c#, even tought, I didn't know shit about it, time passed and we needed a mobile application, then when I realized I was already coding for Android in Java even though I didn't know nothing about it too.

It's just, you can do whatever you want if you will... It's amazing! I love doing what I do.

Don't just copy stuff from the internet and use it without knowing what it does.

If someone says to run rm -rf to save space, first search what rm does, and why you need the rf flags.

That will save you from a lot of problems.

I know a guy that does that, copy the first answer from SO, then runs it -.-

Stakeholder: In user profiles, I want users to be able to renew gift memberships for their giftee.

Me: ???

SH: For example, if I buy a gift membership for you and it expires or is about to expire, then I want to be able to renew it for you.

Me: Typically, gifts aren’t the gifter’s responsibility to manage. There’s no reason for you to be able to manage my membership from your account, even if just to renew. You’re opening up Pandora’s box here. If you let users renew for giftees, you’ll eventually have a user ask if they can cancel the giftee’s membership because they got into a fight and want to stick it to the giftee.

SH: But our users aren’t using the gift membership sales flow correctly. That results in all sorts of data issues for our reporting services and we spend so much time fixing it by hand.

Me: Your sales flow is confusing. The website asks users to verify membership for a giftee in case the giftee has or had a membership. How it the gifter supposed to know that? You’re trying to make things easier for you, but you’re expecting the user to know that and comply. That’s unrealistic.

SH: But there must be a something you can do.

Me: No.

The state of informatics education is just saddening.
You study "Software Development" and then you get to do exams asking you to do some basic linux commands - with full internet access on a computer. People are allowed to fail this and study on. On the other hand you have to do real coding with pen and paper, have to calculate from hex to bin to dec and stuff and most Importantly - know about all kinds of math stuff completely unreleated to cs.
Graph Theory absolutely makes sense in my eyes, but not if it's plain fucken math without even mentioning computers or applications of it. But if you fail that everyone looks weird at you.

I know about coding. I got A's and B's in all the coding exams _without even doing much for them_ but then fail all the fucken math exams. Makes no sense. FML.

Hello everyone! First rant, didn't know what to post about for the longest time, but have this thing. We were allowed to take some notes into our programming exam. This happened somehow. If you start writing really fucking tiny, then notice there's a bunch of free space left, then in the actual exam end up using it once or twice max. Anyway, hi!

Another smartass! Here we go!

Look, I'm an idiot and I'm absolutely aware of it. But you don't get to give an opinion without having the knowledge or skills. I may be young-ish and stupid, but that doesn't mean you're right, or that you know better than me ffs. If I'm down to earth, that doesn't mean you're above me. If you want my respect, then behave yourself. Just because you think you've "schooled me"...doesn't mean you did.

... Aaaaaand those are stuff I'll never say in real life. Gah. I can't lecture people I don't care about, but some do piss me off regardless. And what is with this sharp increase of people pissing me off these day? 🤔 🤔 🤔

If you have not tried Google then I don't know what kind of developer you are... Exhaust all resources then Google.

How to teach a 5 yr child to code?

The method is simple you don't need to teach him to code just help him to understand the method to execute a task. It took me years to understand that coding is a way to express what you want to say- the method and also is our expression. So, if you can help him/her to understand what to express, then I believe the method on how to express is totally unworthy. He/she can say printf("I know this") or print("I know this") or #I know this or he/she may create a new language.
Which you might call: The Baby's Code in future

If you like it do ++

Do you know that feeling when you finally have no more errors, but then you can't tell if the software actually does the right thing?

🤢

Wisdom of the day:
'No crashes' is not equivalent to 'it works'...

What is it with over qualified, over certified consultants that go around spouting "best practises", and then come delivery time, have the most absurd bullshit that a junior with 3 weeks of knowledge in a particular subject would know what you just served up is nothing more then a pile of shit that will not be deployed even if your livelihood depended on it.

... Monday gonna be fun!

I am angry. Do you know why? It's a rhetorical question, because you don't know why I am angry, which is why I'm going to tell you why I'm so. I Followed my friend, " Jane Doe" ( you don't need to know her actual name) to this store in my town. Then these 14-15 years old girls came up to me, and started asking me about my braces. "Where'd you get it?
" How much did it cost ?"
I get these questions like almost every single, and it's annoying. 😒
This one question got me angry. "What 'if' her braces are fake?" A girl said whispering to her friend.
Fake??? My braces are realer than you could ever be, jealous bitch. I said that in my mind, I don't have the guts to say it out loud, besides these girls look like they could tear me to pieces, and I wanted no conflict. I walked away as soon as my friend got her stuffs from the store.
My friend couldn't help but to tease me that I'm a doormat. I guess she's right. 🤔☹😤😟😖

If body { background: red; } isn’t the first thing you do to test a CSS file is included, then I don’t know what kind of developer you are.

You can't call me a "nut job" on Lync then five minutes later dump your fucking work experience kid on me so that I can "tell him what to type" and "let him do some of the work". I'm a paid technical intern, not your fucking babysitter, so maybe you should pay your own kid attention rather than let somebody else to do it to make you feel superior.

You know fuck all and have needed my help numerous times, and been sheepish every time I've known something you don't. If I helped you with something, say thank you and don't act like my presence perpetually pisses you off. Sit down and show me some respect, as I always have to you, or I'll report you to HR for being a demeaning twat. Your call.

Or perhaps I could have a word with the new Director you've been arse-licking. I'm sure he'd love to hear that you have been treating like shit the one guy who can save you from the shit show of having no idea how to do the task you've been set.

I know I'm an intern but come on, I could take your job tomorrow if I didn't have a degree to go back to. If you keep being a shit to people then one day I will actually do it!

ajax hell/dom hell
do you know it? no dont talk abut the callback hell.

i fcking hate it when i load any modern site, and it needs a few seconds to calc some stuff, xhr this, calc that, dom/css visible that. at all it takes more time specially if you on low end to mid equipmemt.

And then you think its finally loaded, you want to click or tab something and then another xhr was Finished, dom/css changed, and the button i was about to Click moved and i click something else.

friends of me hates this to.

so please dear webdevs, stop try to be cool and fancy just because you found out how "cool" conditions in css and dom is. stop using that bullshit angular (and so on) bullshit if you cant manage to pull out a html at start that will not changr its layout all the time after being loaded, ty.

DO NOT be afraid to argue with people. It doesnt matter who they are. Senior engineers, tech leads, delivery managers, if you know something is wrong make it heard. I made a point of telling my Project Manager that the current project is the worst ive ever seen. The technology is awful and we all hate the development. They need to know this stuff. And if they come to you with a deadline that you dont think you can make, say it then and there. Then they cant come back and say why isnt this done. Basically dont just do as youre told. If we needed that we would get robots to do our job. We need people who think and have opinions and make those opinions heard at the appropriate level.

You probably know the "marshmellow experiment": have one marshmellow now, or delay the gratification by some time, then get two. What the experiment is supposed to measure is something like intelligence or impulse control.

Hot take: what it also measures, and much more so when it comes to reality, is trust. If I don't trust the other side to be both able and willing to deliver on the promise later, I will rather secure the smaller reward right now.

"in this ad i will show you how to code something called hyper-casual games. these games have brought developers millions of dollars and i happen to know just a little bit about these games. see i also coded my own game and i brought me 6.5 million downloads. i then implemented my business plan and guess what i got now 65 million downloads. crazy. now if you just buy my book u will learn how to make millions of dollars just like me because game development isn't that hard after all!"

My first rant...

Every time a coworker asks for an enhancement, the request is followed by "it should be easy to implement".

1) If you think it's easy, then you obviously know the code better than me, right?
2) The idea of the enhancement may be easy, but you don't think about how a small change can have a cascading effect throughout the entire process... and potentially in a catastrophic way.

Happens every time. Maybe I'm just bitch eating crackers at this point, but it annoys me when people analyze something they have no idea how to write themselves.

If you CC: me on an email I won't read it because I'm clearly not the intended recipient and I'm not going to do your work for you in trying to work out why I should give a fuck.

If you wish me to actually *give* said fuck then send me my own fucking email explaining why I should give a rat's anus about your shitty little problems.

And, if you try to use "but I copied you on the email" as an excuse for your incompetence in a meeting, I will eviscerate you on the spot. You will be looking at your small intestine while I ask your assembled co-workers if they have any other business.

CC: basically means you have no respect for my time. So, if you do it, I'm coming for you...and your family...and your friends...and all the people you know on Linked-In...

FUCK, I just realized something..

A lot of people are probably aware of the statement "Respect is earned, not demanded/given".

Now, if you are aware of the meme "Press F to *pay respect*", you probably know where this goes.

The statements "pay respect" and "respect is earned" are actually connected. Just like money, you pay money to people who deserve it. You work hard for it.

But if this is true, is "attention" also earned? I often hear "Please pay attention" from my teachers back then.

This is some big brain shit right here

Being sick absolutely deleted what bullshit I can tolerate

- Searching through feed of jobs
- See 999$ Job with description "*platform* forced me to put a budget, but it's not fixed, tell me your quote and what's fair"
- Quote X$ with Y$ interview cost
- Get a message, write and then get the budget "I got offered 10$, 40$, .. if you can do it for 75$ it's a deal!"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, THAT'S WHAT THE FUCKING BUDGET IS FOR, WHY PUT 999 IF YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T SPEND MORE THAN 75 WTF?

Professor:
For your first assignment, create a Java application which can do the tasks X, Y and Z but make sure that your output is formatted exactly the same as my two examples in the PDF I've provided. You don't know if these are tabs or spaces? Just pick one and hope for the best. Oh, and don't forget to save all the generated objects in a Collection. The fuck do I know how they should be sorted in there, just make it look the same. Anyway, you can upload your code on our server sometime next week where your program will then be tested. Good luck.

PS: All my presentations are written in Comic Sans. I heard you kids love that shit.

So, you may know this already...But fuck CNET once again! Don't get me wrong, even if I loved the auto-playing video ads I would still be angry af. The site loads with a decent layout at first, but then in a second it changes and all I get is a pile of shit broken because of some <sarcasm>really great</sarcasm> CSS.

P.S. Yeah, I know it's probably my ad blocker killing something that is vital for the site to keep it's shape, but I don't care about that at all. I'll never give it up. (Or let it down, for that matter)

Internships are fucking bullshit and if more senior developers were to take the role of an actual mentor to coach juniors properly then the state of software engineering would be better.

Some people can be let down easy in terms of "this is not for you bruh", others can be built. I know that social interactions are not common for a lot of the morons in here, but being polite and kind is relatively simple if you know what you are doing. Being a dickhead != "royal levels of expertise" and if we were to coach more people into proper development practices then software would not be in such a shitty state.

For an environment that thrives in cooperation I find it hard to believe that we are still subjecting new people to the field to what can be considered slavery with little to actual no monetary compensation.

I removed many of the requirements for the application to a software developer job where I am at (I am the boss, I get to do shit like that) and my fight with HR was "I would rather someone fresh from college that I can coach properly than some dickhead with years on the field that won't listen to anything else than their own words"

Sure it would be slow, sure it would be hard, nothing ever is that simple, but my idea is "train this mkfer, level the fuck out of him, let him be off to great shit rather than giving him to some dickhead that will treat him like shit on account of being a newbie"

And yes, I do know how and what can go bad, I am going to have someone desinging shit in basic html/js/css with some php here and there not giving them the keys to every server I control. Thank you for your fucking concerns, I know what I am doing.

the experiment fails? GOOD more data for me.

Plus, you learn more when you teach others.

You know a good way to handle all of the issues with W10 force updating your system? Do it yourself FFS!

You know there are updates. Windows has been telling you ...

Pick a damn time, start the update and go get a coffee, lunch, take a dump or go home for the day.

It's *never* going to be the right time if you don't choose it. It will always be an inconvenience or you'll be "in the middle of something important" and then you'll get all pissy about it.

Yeesh ...

The most important skill you can have is doing things without shame.

Shamelessly stay in your bed all weekends watching PewDiePie, never brushing your teeth, eating Doritos from under your pillow and peeing into empty Mountain Dew bottle if you feel like doing it.

Shamelessly spend your vacation sitting in the toilet with a laptop browsing reddit.

Shamelessly cut your product in half and ship it if you don't feel like perfecting it.

Shamelessly admit that you don't know something when you messed something up at work.

If you are a millennial like me, chances are your gen x parents told you that you have to be perfect / really good to succeed and to be worthy.

You know what? Fuck your parents then. Fuck my parents as well. Admitting this behavior wrong and actually giving up on living like something is always watching is the best thing you can do to your mental health.

I'm lazy. I write "any" here and there when they force me to do typescript at work. When I need a sidebar, I go and copy-paste that jquery snippet. I write like one article a month at best and I really want to say "fuck it" if I just don't feel like it.

You can always give up on everything and it's perfectly fine. This doesn't make you any kind of looser or something. You're perfectly fine.

Too bad I'm only beginning to master that.

Not quite a rant, but if you came here for a cool way to reverse strings in python then I've got you covered:

backwardsString = string[::-1]

Don't know why you come to devRANT for tips on python string reversal but hey

I thought it was cool at the time ::)))

I want to know what brings you Joy while programming/coding?

I've been trying to catch that certain feeling...

For me it's having everything make sense and a logical flow through the code and it works every if it is adding two vars.

And please definitely not the money if you're coding for money then you're not enjoying it.

!rant

Stupid customer insists that the website must have the *same fucking UI* even when seen on mobile.
Where the fuck are your eyes, don't you see that a big complex table just doesn't fit the fucking screen of your crappy phone??? Of course it needs to be layed out differently.

I don't know if I should politely reply "no", or just don't give a fuck, deploy it, and then let him realize how much he is stupid.

That satisfaction when you're teaching Python and git to a friend, and not only she actually understands things right away, but she tells you: "It's ok if you don't know this, I'll try to look it up and figure it out by myself".

Every now and then, the world doesn't seem such a dark and gloomy place :)

I am really getting sick of recruiters contacting me with "great opportunities" then when I ask questions about the post they just give me the answers they think I want to hear. I know when you're lying because if you knew the answer you would have led with that. At least say you'll find out more and then give me a follow up response.

Recruiter: Would it be possible for you to deliver hacking training?
Me: You mean pentesting?
R: Yes, that.
Me: Well, what will it be used for? Breaking into peoples networks and spying on them?
R: Yes, they'll want it to be able to spy on people.
Me: Well, that's unethical, I'm only interested in defensive security practices.
R: Yes, they'll only want it for ethical reasons like defence and against bad guys.
Me: *dirtiest look I could muster*

I mean there's gullible and then there's what ever it is you think I am.

Public CSS discord: "Oh, awesome thanks, man! No need to apologize, I'll check the code. I DM'd you."

DM: Total meltdown cry baby freak-out... "Oh yeah... well, if the code is broken - then why does my repo have 63 stars? I think I'd know if my code didn't work - it must be your computer. Why won't you let me team-viewer into your computer and see your screen? I don't care about your personal information. It's made with React, not CSS. I thought you would be helpful - but you're not at all. You aren't professional..."

Uh... (I can see the code... team-viewer isn't going to help you... and I'm at work... and I already spent 15 minutes helping you - you fucking prick)

Not just Stack Overflow, but all help forums:

If someone asks a question, and you think you might know the answer based on its subject or context, please spare a thought for others and instead of dragging the post on for pages and pages without an answer in order to show the poster up for being inadequately articulate, please make the first post a link to at least seemingly relevant reference material.

Nothing more frustrating looking for some undocumented api syntax, finding a similar question that you might be able to gleam from, and then only seeing pages of "aaah, but what OS are you on? What colour is your desktop? What is the average velocity of a..."

You can see they are struggling with an api, and you clearly know where to find the answer, so just quit the cocksure jostling of pretending you're any good at support and just be useful. The poster may be a tool, but the thousands of hits from Google will just think you're a twat.

I'll be honest, I've never understood why people say that numbers generated by a computer are pseudorandom and not random.
I know a lot of algorithms for number generation, and I implemented mine, based on time of invokation expressed in nanoseconds, taking digits, manipulating and transforming them. Then I analyzed the probability distribution and it's absolutely flat. So, if you know the Touring test, we can use a modified version of it. If I give you a sequence of random numbers generated by a computer and I give you a sequence of random numbers invented by a person, and you can't notice the difference, so the test is passed.
What's wrong on it?

Shit Developers say:

Fuck you Jasmine and your camelCase

I’ve been wrestling cucumbers all day

Oh no all the cucumbers are broken

In a fit of refactoring madness I have gone and changed a lot

Did you seriously just give ME nil?... No!

If the shit sticks, then we put nice paint on it

Fucking red dot motherfucker (Ben and his failing specs)

You know what we don’t do often..kill each others builds. Kill them and reschedule for later. Mwahaha ha ha.

This build is going to be so rad...(5mins later)...Ok this is not going to pass..I can feel it in my waters!

Can i do that in a digital way or do i have to move my meaty body downstairs to find him?

All the donkeys have be out the gate by sundown

God, imagine if you could patent mathematical solutions

actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you can in the states "no, you can't use a laplace transform, you haven't got the rights, you have to use a less accurate transform on your matrices"
ooooo a boolean that's phrased in the negative, my favourite for code review destruction!

Fuck the police i'll call the object here

Web RTC - its super easy, all you have to do is..probably some hard stuff

I want to go to that conference so I can start arguments with dickheads about semicolons. Just for fun.

This this is not the same as that this.

Can’t come to work I can’t find any clothes. It’s best for everyone if I just don’t come in. ...2 hours later... Yeah my clothes were just in the other room and i couldn’t be fucked moving

(OH about bad bug reports) - you know when they are all like oh joogly joogly doesn’t doodle doodle and it should wobbly doodle you know? and im all like fuck i don’t know any of that shit you are talking about.

Him: "I don’t like it, it’s against REST convention its so 2006 that my eyes are bleeding. As a privileged white male i feel entitled to complain about this." Me: "you. were. eleven in 2006

Source: Kellective Github

At the end of each day, work out exactly what you need to do next, and then...

...don't do it. Seriously. Make a note of it, save it, then walk away. Then you know *exactly* what you're getting started with the next day, and by the time you've done that you're in the swing of things. (Especially helpful if you're not a morning person like me. Much, much easier to get started if you know exactly what you're doing.)

Some of the smartest and brightest people I know are arrogant as fuck.

And I believe they have all the right to do so, for they have earned it.

Be kind and leechers will drain the living soul out of you.

If you aspire to achieve greatness for self, then setting boundaries is important.

This does not mean, you have to harsh to everyone, rather it's about figuring out whom to give your time and attention.

Recruiter: how many years of experience do you have?
Me : 4
Recruiter: the client wants someone with a minimum of 5 years
Me : okay then, let me know if anything else is available.
Recruiter: You can change your resume... just add a year.
Me : ???? No thanks
Recruiter: they’ll never know ... you can tell them later
Me : ....

I am a person who never lies. And when I see/hear others lie, be it for the benefit of mine or not, it gets my blood boiling. I disrespect liers with passion.

And I particularly hate magic fixes at work. You know the ones, when smth is not working for a few weeks, you involve 3 other teams responsible for their tiers, and then one day suddenly everything starts working. When you ask all the 3 tiers what has been done - everyone says "nothing".

If you do this bullshit to me, just know that everytime I remember you, before remembering your name/face/role I very vividly visualize pissing on your toothbrush right before you wake up.

Or did I do that for real..? Idk, it's too vivid to distinguish

Seriously? Microsoft does not support ed25519 SSH keys in neither Azure DevOps nor the actual Azure Virtual Machines? Like seriously? No there has to be a joke. There just ain't no way
It has been in OpenSSH since 2013.
2013.
We're in 2023, if you've forgotten.
10 years ago, OpenSSH implemented this standard.

Did you know what they tell you when you enter your valid Ed25519 SSH key into their system?
Did you know they tell you that "Your SSH key is invalid"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN INVALID???!?! IT WORKS EVERYWHERE ELSE JUST FINE!!! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HAS NO FUCKING BRAINS!!!

Composure.

I am calm, I am calm.

I have always. Been. CALM!

There is no one more calm than me....

I guess RSA it is then.
A second SSH key, just for Microsoft.

Why do some people have to be so self-centered?

They asked for my help with a logo. I said I will help even without any charges. I know they don't want to spend money. And that's why I frankly said I can help free. But then they said they will feel bad then and ask for my quotation. Ok, I sent.

They said "Sorry it is too high, can you give 60% discount?" Ok, sure.

Then they asked if they can get it in 4 days. Ok, I said.

Then they said they changed the name just now.

At least give me a fucking ounce of respect.

1. I'm sick with a cold. I'm dying.

2. You know, it feels like some objects' destiny is bound to mine. Like this woolen shawl that over 15 years ago I used to use to keep my head warm in the heavy snow, then forgot it existed and now it resurfaced as I was talking to mom about my head being cold while having the cold.

3. If things go well, this shawl will come with me on my next trip. That is, if this cold doesn't make a stop in afterlife.
**achoo**

Dear fellow project member,

I agree that most code should explain itself, but if you need to use a certain method which requires you to pass several different values of the same type and you just pass values as you like and then get, as you like to call it, 'unexpected behavior', then that is YOUR F***ING PROBLEM.

I DO know your thoughts about documenting code and I DO know you think documenting code only delays the progress, but if you for once could please CHECK THE DOCUMENTATION I WROTE, there would be no need to message me EVERY FIVE BLOODY MINUTES to complain about something that actually works when used right, just because you are too lazy to read the docs!

If you would do that next time, at least the time i spend writing documentation for our project would not be COMPLETELY WASTED! 😤

Kind Regards

Twitter has become just like Facebook now, where if you click on something interesting and then press the back button everything will be fucking gone. this shit is horrendous and not how webbrowsers work. I don't know what apeshit thought of this but it needs to stop. The back button takes me back to where I was. not to new content.

Lessons I've learnt so far on programming

-- Your best written code today can be your worst tomorrow (Focus more on optimisation than style).
-- Having zero knowledge of a language then watching video tutorials is like purchasing an arsenal before knowing what a gun is (Read the docs instead).
-- It's works on my machine! Yes, because you built on Lenovo G-force but never considered the testers running on Intel Pentium 0.001 (Always consider low end devices).
-- "Programming" is you telling a story and without adding "comments" you just wrote a whole novel having no punctuation marks (Always add comments, you will thank yourself later for it I promise).
-- In programming there is nothing like "done"! You only have "in progress" or "abandoned" (Deploy progressively).
-- If at this point you still don't know how to make an asynchronous call in your favourite language, then you are still a rookie! take that from me. (Asynchronous operation is a key feature in programming that every coder should know).
-- If it's more than two conditions use "Switch... case" else stick with "If... else" (Readability should never be under-rated).
-- Code editors can MAKE YOU and BREAK YOU. They have great impact on your coding style and delivery time (Choose editors wisely).
-- Always resist the temptation of writing the whole project from scratch unless needs be (Favor patching to re-creation).
-- Helper methods reduces code redundancy by a large chunk (Always have a class in your project with helper methods).
-- There is something called git (Always make backups).
-- If you don't feel the soothing joy that comes in fixing a bug then "programming" is a no-no (Coding is fun only when it works).
-- Get angry with the bugs not the testers they're only noble messengers (Bugs are your true enemy).
-- You would learn more than a lot reading the codes of others and I mean a lot! (Code review promotes optimisation and let's you know when you are writing macaroni).
-- If you can do it without a framework you have yourself a big fat plus (Frameworks make you entirely dependent).
-- Treat your code like your pet, stop taking care of it and it dies! (Codes are fragile and needs regular updates to stay relevant).

Programming is nothing but fun and I've learnt that a long time ago.

So apparently I can't test my apps on my own device without paying my Apple Developer Certificate.

I knew it is needed to pay for it if you want to publish/distribute your app but c'mon... This is ridiculous.

My app was literally a fresh app creation, a fucking white screen one page fucking app and when I tried to run in on my iPhone, then I ended up having this problem:

dyld: Library not loaded: @rpath/libswiftCore.dylib
Referenced from: /var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/HWorld
Reason: no suitable image found. Did find:
/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib: code signing blocked mmap() of '/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib'
(lldb)

If any of you guys know how to solve it without paying (even more) PLEASE let me know

THANKS

Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??

Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!

Is it too much to ask for companies in the current world to be.. oh I don't know.. honest and consistent?

If you advertise on your Job section: "We always give our candidates feedback, whether they got the job or not". Then, *****, give them feedback! I applied and they never got back to me. And no, that's not feedback.

Remote server software installation support is great!
You can watch them trying to understand where what is on the file system, they repeatedly switch between windows without doing something on either of them and they set your IE browser policy to allow all kinds of domains & sites which are preventing them from downloading their software.
Todays guy did not know how to transfer a file between the local machine and one in remotedesktop. 😄

(If you do support like this, then don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of you personally, it is just funny to watch if you have to actually sit there and wait for the support to finish.) 😉

Things I wish people had said at my first job (in light of lots of the people I see starting their first dev gig on here). Please add yours.

Congrats!
Take a breath, you will be fine.
If you get frustrated, take a moment to collect your thoughts.
Don't be afraid to say you don't know, you are not expected to know everything.
Your workday needs to end at a decent time. Don't overdo it or you will be useless for more of your hours.
Always take whatever length of time you think something will take and double it. If you think it will take 15 minutes, it'll probably take your 4 hours.
Concentrate on networking and personal relationships.
Pick the smartest people who have moved the most vertically and pay attention to what they say, they might know a lot.
When management makes an "unwise" or "crazy" decision, ask them why or what the context or motive is that made then arrive at that course of action. Some of them might surprise you in their bigger picture motives or dumbassedness.
Six sigma may be in your future, learn what it is.
Automate as much of your own job as possible.

Um, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully that's helpful to people just starting out. Feel free to add yours.

Just me getting angry about the reaction after the Cambridge-scandal?
The news are spamming it every hour, and suddenly everyone is "well aware about my privacy" and deleting their Facebooks.

I mean, as if we didn't know this all along. O-fucking-course your data is stored and sold for adds, you accepted it when you wanted to "see which celebrity you are alike"!

I walk around and talk about privacy with people kinda a lot, and nobody seems to care. And then this happens, and people are going nuts. Waow, what a surprise!

Haha, have a nice evening DevRanters! ;) (20:55)@swe

If you don't know, there are 2 types of bug fixes:

Hot Fix - Patch files directly on the production

Quick Fix - Deploy fix on production and then test it

OK so... project I've been working on! It's a virtual processor that runs in the browser coded in JavaScript. OK so I know, I know, you must be thinking, "this is crazy!" "Why would she do this?!?!" and I understand that.

The idea of Tangible is is to see if I can get any tangible performance over JavaScript. I've posted a poorly drawn diagram below showing how tangible works.

The goal for tangible is to not use html, javascript, or CSS. Instead, you would use, say for instance, c++ and write your web page in that, then you compile it using my clang plugins and out pops your bytecode for Tangible. No more CSS, no more html, and no more javascript. Instead everything from a textbox to a video on your web page is an object, each object can be placed into a container, each container follows specific flag rules like: centerHorizontal or centerVertical.

Added to all of this you get the optimization of the llvm optimizer.

When people says you are good in programming they mean you will clear the exam easily.
But they don't know there is a art of writing code.
And if you stuck in the code then there is a art of debugging the code.

Who knows the both is a good programmer.

You know what really grinds my gears? When people criticize a programming language but uses edge cases and stuff that can be avoided by using the tried and true "don't be an idiot". Take for instance JavaScript, a language I like and a language that has a lot you can criticize. But I feel like a lot of peoples criticism isn't warranted.

What's that? No ints? Use parseInt or Math.floor.

What are you saying? == works in strange ways? Yes, that's what we have === for.

Type coercion is wonky? Think it's weird how string + int works differently than string - int? Wanna string with number + - + - - + - - etc? Don't! Don't add strings and ints, don't subtract strings and ints. You can't in statically typed languages and you aren't supposed to in dynamically typed

Adding arrays and objects, arrays and arrays, objects and objects etc. is inconsistent? Why are you trying to do that?

Adding floats together gives odd results? Now we're getting somewhere! And Mozilla responded to that with a method called toFixed.

Declaring variables with var doesn't always work that well? Use let and const

Then there's this weird attitude that some people I've met have, where they will complain about the module system and how "well you rely on the community for those packages" as if it's a bad thing. And then coming with the "well you don't know what the (open source) packages do internally" as if I (for the most part) give a shit. Then they'll swear by companies like Zend or Microsoft as if they can't just stop supporting the languages they use. Maybe it's just because I like community content more because of video game mods.

Wanna criticize JS, then there's plenty to talk about. Like the built in date object is basically shit. Or how in NodeJS you can have node_modules in your node_modules. Or how classes don't really have the best syntax. Left-Pad. And so on (it's too late for me to be able to remember much more).

!rant

I received a pair of complements on how well I run team meetings after an engineering all staff this morning. Received a similar comment last week.

Someone asked “what’s your secret?”

I reply “Laziness”

“What?”

“I’m lazy. I don’t like meetings most of the time. So when I run meetings, I run them so that they’re over as fast as possible”

“How do you do that?”

“By knowing what I actually want”

“What if you don’t know what you want?”

“Then there’s no meeting”

“Well what if y-“

“Hey listen I have another meeting to get to”

Closing a bug with "Let me know if it's still happening for you" when it's been three years since the bug was filed and you haven't looked at it at all since then be all like...

Faster square roots?

Did you know if you multiply your
product by pi, and then use that as
the area of a circle while solving for
the radius, the result will be an
approximation of the square root
of your product.

Example:

let p (the product) = 492181
then √p = 701.5561274766261

492181*pi = 1,546,232~
(leaving off the fraction for
the sake of brevity)

area = 1,546,232

then the radius of the 'circle' would be 701.56

I wonder if anyone has stumbled on this before?

My new favourite commit message:

"All changes as of 18th Sept"

How tremendously useful? There I was looking to know what changes were made to enable a feature / service, thought I could look for that in the commit message, but no you've given me a much more efficient way of finding out.

I simply need to download the contents of your memory, find out what date you made a change, and then dig through the massive commit to find the piece of info I need.

Forget experience using Git features, managing merges, following Git flow, or even any other SCM ... how can people be so tick when it comes to recording what they've done.

Heres a little cheat sheet for those struggling:

- Commit message
Describe what you actually ****ing did. Don't tell me the date or the time, thankfully Git records those. Don't tell me the day of the week, if I need to know I can figure that out, just tell me what ... you ... did.

- Feature branch names
Now this is a tricky one. You might be surprised to know that this isn't in fact suppose to be whatever random adjective or noun popped into your head ... I know, I too was shocked. The purpose of this is to let other people know what new feature is being worked on in this branch.

- Reusing feature branches
Now I know you started it to add some unit tests, and naming it "testing" is sort of ok. But its actually not ok to name it testing when you add 3 unit tests ... then rip out and replace 60% of the business logic. Perhaps it would have been wiser to create a new feature branch, given you are now working on a new feature.

Dear devs,

I’ve been seeing a lot of comments bashing python. I’d like to know the moment when you went “wow fuck this shit” with python.

My biggest gripe is in large ish projects, because of the dynamic typing things are so hard to debug and narrow down. If it had static typing then python would be the best, but then if it had it it wouldn’t be python in the first place I’d venture.

Go!

If you already know the best way to get this project done, then why are you paying us? Do it yourself then!

!shortRant

You all complaining about shit code from coworkers and about fucking WordPress. Looks different, but know what? Answer is the same.
Money.
Let me explain.
For example, you were born in USA. You can choose any profession, and if you became pro - you will be payed great. Looks nice, isn't it?
But if you were born in Russia, India, somewhere in Africa, whatever, you can be businessman, coder or you can suck a dick to the end of you life.
Not that great, yeah?
You are looking around and see great people with their own dreams and talents. But then you ask them "to which faculty are you going?" Answer is obvious. And that's how shitcoders are born.
And yeah, about WordPress. I'm mobile developer, I just can't understand how awful it is (or not, idunno). The only thing I know - if I were PHP developer, I could earn twice more than now. But why I didn't choose that way? Because I REALLY LOVE MY WORK. Everyday is good, I'm working at weekends often, because I want.
So please, shut up. You could never work with WordPress, but you motherfucker CHOOSE IT. You could switch to node, go, Java. Why the flying fuck you didn't? Oh yeah, MONEY. So please, shut up.

Devrant isn't for crying girls complaining about shit they did themselves. (No sexism, just metaphor, sorry girls)

This god damn unknown company reported my websites' Facebook page is violating some intellectual property. Facebook report says I must contact the reporting party to get this resolved but there were no contact details specified!! I searched on Google and Facebook om how to contact Facebook but no luck.

How the fuck can I get this resolved if I don't know who reported this? Does anybody here know how the fuck I can contact Facebook?? If you do then please let me know!

Chat apps. What's the idea? Those are basically tools of violence. They give you a possibility to in real-time stop someones work and start demanding service. Now. Immediately.

Usually people send you first email and then they after 10 seconds chat "did you see my email?? read it! serve it! please me!" Usually it's just a small request to document something, review someone else's document. Do it ASAP. If you were coding something, then drop it and do someones job for them instead.

You got a request for me to create some verification case list? Put it into my backlog. I might start doing that in week or two. Or month. In case there's nothing else more important. Since I know that you are working with something that you think is the whole universe, but trust me, I got my own problems already.

But hey, if I don't reply to your chat in a minute, please feel free to walk behind me and start explaining your life. No need to wait even for me to get my headphones off. "Oh you are in conf call? Well, this is just a quick thing blaa blaa..."

I'm told that a worker can't clock into work on his phone because he does something different from his fellow employees. So I go to him to ask hey what do you need in order to clock in.
"Oh well I do something different from everyone"

Yeah I know I'm trying to get it so you can clock in on the phone as well what do you clock into.

"Well the other guys can clock into things on the phone you should ask them if you want to know how to clock into on the phone. I do different jobs then them"

Yes I know, what do you different so I can add it to the phone clock in app?

"What I do isn't on the phone you can't clock into it on there you have to clock into it here."

Would it be unprofessional to strangle him?

That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.

Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.

😎✌️

"I know this guy who works in the service centre where they fix ATMs. He reckons if you could create a hacked copy of the OS, he could install it on a machine, then we can go and withdraw unlimited money from it!"

"Listen to your client, take into consideration all of their input, weigh the options, study the details, know the target audience, and then, if necessary, ignore all of it and design what you think will work best." - Von R. Glitschka

Sometimes I don't know if my co-worker is that stupid or...
Well, he came to me with an strange problem with mongoose.
I looked at the error message. And guess what the database was not reachable. Asked him, did you check the mongo db service. No. Of course the service was not running. Told him to restart it. Then he restarted robo t not the service itself. Major face palm. He then asked me if I knew why his service was not running. Do I look like some kind of wizard? Told him to check the logs. Long story short, his drive ran out of space....

Microservices is a buzzword and everyone is using it to modernize their company and themselves.

Add a cloud in the context and boom, you are equivalent of some Tech gaint.

Well then, if you say so why don't you implement or try to implement in proper way. Use the right tools, "opensource" if you have heard of it has a ton of stuff right for the job.

But no, all you do is write the same old services in Java, put a label of "cloud native" and stick it out so proudly that clients think "oh a new shiny thing".

Putting out poster of "Immediate job requiment for Microservices" and staring blank when the candidate tries to explain how the Microservices work, but you know only about EJBs and you are sitting in interview room wondering what he is really talking about. I dint hear a single word of Java because that is all I know. Then finally rejecting the candidate because he dint say EJB in the interview.

The point is, some shit people don't want to improve themselves nor let anyone improve. Fear of being replaced by a younger generation of developers has plauged the seniors in ways no one can think of.

These commercials for the Earnin app are cancer.

"I know you don't get paid until tomorrow why are you buying [stupid shit]?"
-- what kinda psycho knows when their friends get paid?

"I'm using the Earnin app to get paid today so I can buy my dog some food."
--If your budgeting skills are so shitty that you have to rely on an app to pay you before you check, then perhaps an animal is something you don't need to have with your current financial situation.

Like Jesus Christ the situations are all illogical and make 0 sense, yet they're fucking EVERYWHERE.

I am right and you're wrong.

Aka: Living in a yin / yang (black n white) bubble.

If you're unable to adapt because the only perspective that matters is your own small little universe, then you shouldn't be a dev.

As a dev, you'll have to accept that you cannot know it all. There will be smarter people and there will be things that you won't understand.

It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to not know it all.

Pet Peeve... If you are a creator, you are largely doing technical content, and the channel is not about your personality. Then I don't want to see your stupid face. I want to see technical info like text, graphics and block diagrams. I don't exactly know why this bothers me, but it does.

You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.

No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!

I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.

I have better things to do.

Your lack of planning isn't my priority.

If you whine about windows updates then i seriously dont know what to tell you.

No offense, but if you're expecting 0 and not -80, then you know you're using floats.... Are there really devs that don't know what floating point round off is?

just so you boys know, "sorry you feel this way" is not an apology, and if a guy comes with this bs to me they will be sorry for the way I'll feel then

What the FUCK is wrong with people!!!??
If you need to use !important in your CSS.... STOP and just don't.

It should be very clear that if the need arises to use !important then you are either really shit at CSS and don't understand the concept or you are a lazy mother fucker.

I'm so fucking sick of dealing with other so called "developers" shit code and have to spend time I don't have fixing their shit.

There is absolutely no reason to use
!important and to anyone that thinks to be a smartarse and let me know of their shit reasons... just don't because there aren't any.

There is this company that saves your information, before you have even registered.

If you merely fill in a field, they will save it to their database. Not even saving/submitting it, just filling it in.

So when you then visit their store, they already know stuff about you (if you gave enough unique identifiers, like phonenumber or email adress) and recommend stuff based on your browsing of their website

Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off

Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.

Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.

I don't get what's happening with trolls here. Or people who are trying to be trolls.

Ostream got brutally trolled and deleted his account. Then came back with an alt account.

Same with Alexanderr, Nanos, Chaosesqueteam.

I am not siding with anyone, idc who's right or who's wrong, but there's one golden rule for trolling that you should know, before u attempt to be one -

If you can't handle people clapping back at you or if you don't have thick skin, then don't bother.

When you have to lock down #general in #slack because people cant be responsible.

Then get stuck making #bs-general and other #bs prefixed channels so that people know if they join them they will be annoyed.

!rant

Me and one of my best friends joke way too much about being in a relationship that when he said that we should get married I legit spaced out and started to think how would that even work because he lives in Mexico and I live in the U.S. then i wondered how our work schedule would be and who would hog his gaming pc the most

We are both dudes and we are not gay. But you know man...if you are nor gay for your best friend...are you even best friends?

I've been using keepass for everything and just recently I've just come to realization of just how hard it is to get into my accounts now that I've done this.

Literally, I'm useless if i don't have a computer to get my passwords. (I know it's for android too, but i need the database)

I was trying to log into my spotify, but I couldn't remember my password. Then I thought, oh i know i'll just log into facebook and do it that way.

LOL JK you don't know the password
Fuck... what about my email???
LOL NOPE!

Seriously if i was held at gun point and told to log into anything I'd be dead. I've literally secured myself out of my own accounts...

I guess if there is any silver lining, it's that no-one, and I mean 'no-one' is getting into my accounts any time soon.

For some reason my wife was watching me reading away at devrant and then says:

Wife: You are missing your protection!
Me: ehh what ....
Wife: Let me fix that.

Then she comes back with a ... wait for it ... green yellow striped glitter apple sticker for my webcam.

I don't know if I should be proud of my wife or ashamed of myself for not a replacement yet.

This year I'm remaking my chatbot, a new improved chatbot.

I mean it's not new. But it's something I've always wanted to do personally since the advent of my original Chatbot (poorly written in batch).

If you know me at all, then you know that the actual reason for me getting into programming was because I made my own chatbot using windows batch (I was 14 and didn't know a lick about programming or available programming languages...)

Anyways, I'm wanting to dive back to my roots and build something from the ground up, but this time build it with all the knowledge I've accumulated since I've designed my first program.

CoWorker: “Yea then just use double inheritance to grab the methods off the two classes.”

Me: “Yea that doesn’t seem right... the first object is a string parser the second object predicts future occurrences...”

CoWorker: [louder] “No trust me, I’m taking a developer course right now. If you inherit both classes your new class can use all the needed methods!”

Me: “Okay, go for it bro.”

So tired of people who think they know what they’re doing...

Me: *opens existing shared telegram channel*

Me: Hello developers of SDK xxx, we have another issue. We've gotten 2 reports from users of problem X occurring while using the SDK to contact your servers. It happens here, then this happens, using version Y. Code is the same open source app + library as before if you need to check it, same 2 files as before. Here are some screen shots of the error in the app too, just in case

*3 days later*

Dev: yes this does indeed seem to be a problem. Can you provide us more info to debug this effectively?

Me: ..... I sure can ..... if you let me know what it is you need ..... because you currently have access to absolutely everything already .... and i've been waiting 3 days, some specifics of what you need would be great!!!

If you don't know what clearing cache does to the state of the fatherfucking app then why do you fucking clear it? It fucking breaks the flow. Your maggot-infested ass is then coming up with his own explanation why you cleared the fucking cache. If you don't even have a cunt of an idea why we use the app's local storage, why do you fucking do it? You neanderthal rotten piece of sun-baked shit.

Hey, the app was taking to much time to send the request, so I cleared the app data. Now I have to login again and start over. Maybe check your fucking internet connection?

Fuck you. Fuck your cunt of a face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKING FUCK YOU.

Ted, Akka is a damn Scala library. Yeah yeah, I know you can fit it into your Java project if you really want to, but damn, you just end up with ugly Java syntax that tries and fails to be Scala. Just bloody well use Scala. Or use something more Java-esque like reactor if you *really* want to do async stuff and stay in Java land. But please, please don't use Akka in Java. The thing is a mess. I know it's asynchronous which in fairness does help in this application, but seriously just....

Wait... hang on... WHAT?! You're using the whole thing in an asynchronous reactive chain then just calling join() on everything?! What do you mean it's "mostly asynchronous but just blocks at the end?!?!" Do you like watching people suffer for no purpose, Ted? Do you?

Companies really need to re-evaluate what they ask as security questions.

If I know your name and your approximate date of birth (to the month) then, here in the UK at least, I have a very good chance of being able to find out your parents names, your mother's maiden name, your address, your parents address (i.e. probably where you grew up and what school you went to), your parents ages, when they got married, etc. - and all from publicly available info, not illegal crap you find on Tor or social media stalking.

This isn't hard to find if you know where to look - the problem is that people think that it's all private, and behave as such - and companies encourage it. The typical "internet safety courses" don't even touch on it, and even more tech savvy people I know often don't have a clue this is possible.

I think this is interesting and evil at the same time.

You make a huuuuuuuge(like...YUGE level) code base available to a lot of people marketing certain things at an enterprise level and for small companies to use. You make sure people implement a lot of shit with your stack.

Then you tell them that shit will cost money from now on.
And because they might already have a large codebase they can't just change it to whatevs.

Shit is brilliant, moronic and funny at the same time.

Wondering what Gosling is thinking about this whole deal.

If anything this whole thing will make people switch to the excellent OpenJDK platform more and more. I know that starting with Android N google had already moved to the OpenJDK.

Oh well. Wonder if this would make Java developers more vailable and hard to come by cuz I still love the Java programming language and like the monies.

And know I have no soul.

A peeve of mine is when someone in the software industry denigrates a technology/tool/framework outside of his role eg webdevs on sysadmin stuff or viceversa.

I'm not trying to shame anyone for having subjective experiences, I just think that if you're gonna talk about tools that are not on your domain, then you need to be twice as humble as usual.

I'm a webdev and I don't post around how I KNOW how to make ssh secure, while other people devote their entire careers to that and all related matters.

What prompted me is seeing some not webdevs do this here that seem to be sysadmins/devops (can't tell for sure since I don't know them), but in real life, I've seen people from any role do this, webdevs too, even testers!

Imagine you had cancer, and you had a tumor extraction, and the oncologist said to the surgeon "step aside son, let me show you how to deal with cancer".

You know shit is going to hit the fan if the sentence "c++ is the same as java" is said because fuck all the underlying parts of software. It's all the fucking same. Oh and to write a newline in bash we don't use \n or so, we just put an empty echo in there. And fuck this #!/bin/bash line, I'm a teacher. I don't need to know how shit works to teach shit. Let's teach 'em you need stdio for printf even tho it compiles fine without on linux (wtf moment number one, asking em leaves you with "dunno..") and as someone who knows c you look at your terminal questioning everything you ever learned in your whole life. And then we let you look into the binaries with ldd and all the good stuff but we won't explain you why you can see a size difference in the compiled files even tho you included stdio in the second one, and all symbol tables show the exact same thing but dude chill, we don't know what's going on either.
Oh and btw don't use different directory names as we do in our examples. You won't find your own path, there is no tab key you can press to auto-fill shit.
But thats not everything. How about we fill a whole semester with "this is how to printf" but make you write a whole game with unity and c#. (not thaught even the slightest bit until then btw)
Now that you half-assed everything because we put you in a group full of fucks who don't even know what a compiler is but want to tell you you don't know shit and show you their non-working unfinished algorithms in some not-even-syntax-correct java...

...how about we finally go on with Algebra II: complex numbers, how they are going to fuck up your life, how we can do roots of negative numbers all of the sudden and let you do some probability shit no one ever fucking needs. BUT WHY DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY HMMMMM, IT'S YOUR SECOND LESSON, YOU WENT TO SCHOOL PLS BE A MATH PRO ASAP CUS YOU NEED IT SO MUCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW PROPER SYNTAX, HOW MEMORY MANAGEMENT WORKS, WHAT A REFERENCE IS AND PLS FINALLY FORGET THE WORD "ALLOCATION" IT DOESN'T PLAY A SINGLE ROLE YOU ARE STUDYING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT ECONOMICS IT MAKES NO SENSE I MEAN YOU HAD A WHOLE SEMESTER OF HOW TO GREET SOMEONE IN ENGLISH, MATHS > ECONOMICS > ENGLISH > FUCKING SHIT > CODING SKILL THATS HOW THE PRIORITIES WORK FOR US WHY DON'T YOU GET IT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BRAH

If you are a new employee tasked to work with Java, C#, C++ or whatever, choose a Windows PC. And don't get obsessed with having things that look nice, we all know the screen on apple products is awesome, but to get the job done especially if you are a programmer, it's a pain in the ass.

I see Mac owners daily struggle with this and that just to get some work done.

Of course we can start talking about virtual OS, dual boot and so forth, but does it really matter?

Nonetheless if your job is to build ios apps, then of course a Mac Book is a better alternative, but if most of your work is done with C#, then go with Windows PC because it fully supports Visual Studio.

FUCK SPAM !
If you are like me and register to many services online and get spammed with spam (duh) and want to know which services is selling your data , you can register with an email like this :
let's say your email is johndoe@gmail.com
and want to register to Service you can put johndoe+service@gmail.com and mails will still reach johndoe@gmail.com but appear as To : johndoe+service@gmail.com so then you can rant about how Service is selling your data.
credits to reddit.

Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.

If I were to do-over, I would:

- Know that the world is MUCH bigger then even the largest city in the most populous country, and I get to pick where I'm going. So I'm going where the grass is green and bosses are not allowed to physically assault their employees, thank you very much.
- Do not care for missing or useless requirements, and only deliver the PoC. the requirements will all change the very second a client, BA or boss look at the PoC, anyway. Let them come.
- know that companies will replace you and do not need you, just as you do not need them. fuck their needs and live your own life. If they ask for overnight unpaid overtime, leave immediately and laugh all the way home.

Use that Tab button. It's there for a reason. If you are too lazy to use it then use an IDE that formats the code.
Also learn to comment your code wherever needed and in English. If you don't know where it's needed, Google is your friend if not your senior.

My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)

Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?

In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.

Can anyone hear me?

You know what? FUCK Australian employers. I know they'd be damn fucking lucky to have me on their team.

I just finished working on something that I made several years ago (what I raised funds for in my previous rant), I then took it a step further and automated the process [if some things], and now I have my own software finding me new leads and sending them to me via email and push notifications.

With a little bit of tweaking maybe, and a little bit of time, I expect to find some new clients again.

If you don't know if my card is already activated... then who does?

If you are a dream stealing cunt then kindly fuck off. I don't know you, I don't want to know you. Climb into whatever hole you came out of and just eat shit.

Nothing in this life raises my ire more than people who hate on others daring to dream. The haters don't add to society and are just stealing air.

The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷‍♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷‍♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍

Client email: so you know that custom thing I wanted on my website that you made and I refused to pay for? Could you just send me the code, I'm gonna write my own.

*Staring at screen in disbelief and laughing*

Even if you were an awesome client, and you had paid, I still wouldn't just "give you my code" so you can write your own. You hired me to do it because you CAN'T not because you didn't want to, not because you're lazy, but because you are not mentally capable of making your own.

Me: I'm sorry, but I'm not sure you would even know where to start with this, what was wrong with the one built?

Client: I wanna put the code in my Salesforce so it can run the API request and automatically make a lead for me.

My code takes fields from a form, runs the data over to the API, gets the response, allows for user confirmation that the information is correct, and then sends all the relevant data to Salesforce as a lead.

Me: But that's exactly what mine does, just does it from your website where users will be entering the info, and once they've confirmed it you get a Salesforce lead.

Client: well some of my leads come from other places and I want to simplify everything.

Me: no, not possible, sorry.

If you didn't have 25 different websites for one company then all your leads would come from the same place and it would be simple.

Year ago in university.
We opened our university's website and select inspect element in browser then edit the header tag to "hacked by..."

My friends and i : hey look, we just hacked university website.

Our friend : oh let me see, damn you, how did u do that?

Our : it was easy, just don't tell anybody. He answered ok.

After couple days our proffesor asked me : do you know who hacked university website? I want to know if anyone could hack it.

I answered: no sir. I don't know.

I think our friend still thinks we hacked the website xD

I love our industry but it’s filled with way too many tech grifters, fakes and waste men pretending to know what they’re doing. A lot of whom low key hate coding and the people that do it, wish they were as good and those people yet lack the self awareness and humility to see where they fall short and actually learn the technology.

Even if you see the industry as just a way to make some money, learn how to code and if you can’t do that then learn to appreciate the process. Stop talking as if you know what you are doing while embarrassing yourself and coming off as a dunce and condescending to those that do.

TLDR: dealing with other people is stressful

I hate having to explain things to people and then they still don't listen.

Especially if they know nothing about the topic.... I guess like those little kids that ask Why? all the time.

Can't you see I have other things to deal with, just do what I say because unlike you I already tried ... Or just know what I'm talking about....

I think the one of the more common reason for imposter syndrome is that a lot of smart people constantly get told as children the "you're so smart/capable, you can do everything!" too much, and when you hear it enough times, it gets to you, so you think everything is just easy. And then when they start hitting roadblocks, instead of helping or explaining that it's normal for things to be hard and it's normal to fail, usually parents and teachers and whatnot tell them "Oh it's okay, don't worry about it, you're smart, you'll get it" and so they at first it works, maybe it just takes more time but they manage, but as things get harder and they still put little effort because "don't worry, you're so smart, you learn so fast/easy" and as they find out more and more things they don't umderstand or don't know they start to feel a dissonance, which builds anxiety.
And this is where I thinks it actually starts: at some points there comes a situation where they either share this anxiety with someone or someone notices their worry, and(at least from what I've seen from others) usually the response they get is something along the lines of: "Nah, you're just worrying too much, you're smarter than you think, don't be so down on yourself, you need to worry less", which, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure telling someone that thinks he has a problem that he doesn't have a problem, helps their worrying.
And on one hand the amount if things they don't get/know/understand or fail at grows(cuz you can't just be good at EVERYTHING, so the more things you know about, the more things you don't understand) while mentally still being in that "Wait a minute, you're smarter than this, you should be getting this!" mindset that's been drilled into them, and so at some point the illusion shatters, and they start to think "Maybe I'm not so smart after all", and because they think they were wrong about their level, they feel like they have "oversold" themselves in the past and that makes any past accomplishments feel like lucky accidents instead: "If I'm not actually smart, the things I did manage to achieve must've been just accidental", which makes them feel like they've lied to themselves and everyone else when they "took credit for an accidents" and that their life is just a snowball of pretending.

Now, is that actually a cause or is it another one of my crazy 1AM ramblings? I don't know xD
I'm not an expert in any of this and I don't really know any psychology so hell if I know if that's how any of this works but that's just my theory of one of the reasons why. *shrug*. I've had this theory for years, but I don't know.
It at least makes sense to me, but not everything that makes sense is true soooo.

Anyways, wall of text is over.

Oh, and for anyone struggling with imposter syndrome: I just want you to know, it's okay to fail, and it's okay to not know shit, especially in the dev industry where every "insignificant" detail can have an entire rabbit hole of expertise behind it, nobody can expect to know every part of it. And it doesn't make you any less smart no matter how much you fail. Tnis shit is hard, so I hope you stay strong and I hope you succeed in whatever it is you're struggling with.
*Massive virtual hug* <3

At my previous job I was working with cliets as a support for our application. One client had problem printing invoice so they caled. Was web application so invoice was first converted to PDF then you would print it.
I ask client if they have Abobe Reader installed. Her response was some thing like that: " I don't know what are you saying. Its is like you are talking chines."
I asked for remote access, fix problem.

Still don't know how they managed to use application.

You know what really cheeses my onions? When people write their code in a foreign language, say French or Spanish, and then come to me asking why it doesn’t work. Like, mate, how you expect me to be able to make sense of your code if your variable naming is totally foreign? And it looks horridly out of place to boot.

Moral of the story: Write your code in English and save us the headache.

Time to switch to offline and hide in some dark corner to get work done. Tired of all the IM’s and coming over to my desk from 1 person for “critical” work. If they’re all critical then none of them are truly critical. If you sit on the data for 2 months, and then today is the day it becomes critical and the compliance issue is because of your ineptitude then its a you problem not an IT problem. Then on top of that you submit your data to be loaded in the incorrect request form and spreadsheet format you can go fuck yourself asking this be done in an hour. It could be done in 15 minutes if you had it in the correct format as specified in the 20 meetings over the past year which removed all manual analysis and automated the entire process you idiot. Now I have to get it into the correct format in that hour so I don’t have to do the analysis for you.
I have other things to do besides your etl tickets, like finding the actual problems in our actual critical applications. You know the ones where the VP’s of this giant corporation start calling if they go down.
Sorry for the rambling guys.

If the christian god exists, then I'll go to hell because of my sexual orientation. Little do they know, as I wake up there, I'll make two steps back to pick up a chainsaw. It's there and I know it.

Dear god, watch out. Your days are numbered. I'll make Nietzsche "god is dead" stuff look like a fucking joke.

I'm coming for you.

"We're gonna use React Native for our project."

Me:"If that's your decision, then I would decline your offer."

After few weeks...

"Are you vacant for this kind of job? We'll be switching to Flutter".

----
I don't know what happened. I worked for him as a freelancer using VueJS for their project. and he insisted to use React Native to make that web into mobile. I declined his offer. Now he wants to work with me again using Flutter.

Join a military organization set on keeping peace between humans and machines, and then, when people disband our team because they live in peace, become a vigilante.

++ if you know who's this