Hmm... Can someone help me find the "please wait" key?

Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.

Really want to get shit done today.

Lets browse Spotify for 3 hours to find good focus music.

Spend 2 hours designing a new IDE color theme and inspections which should really help me do code reviews faster

Oh, lunch time!

Maybe after lunch I should read some random clickbait blog posts on organizational paradigms.

...

And now I'm stranded on devRant. 😫

Every day in the office kitchen I find bottles of milk open and left out, in the fridge with no date, and empties everywhere. Yesterday I found 11 open and partially used bottles of milk. I’ve designed this flow chart to help educate people (in a way developers can understand) on how to manage milk which is apparently a real challenge for some.

Hackr.io is the best website to find effective tutorials for every language. I think every body should visit this website and vote for the best tutorials to help noobs.

All the possible help is good to find a bug...

Four semesters in. As a class we’ve learned Java, SQL, HTML/CSS, JavaScript, C++, C#, and a small amount of PHP

We’ve built databases, websites, apps for phone and desktop, and we’ve toyed with game development in unity

We’ve used multiple IDE’s with differing pros and cons, virtual machines, server development stacks (XAMPP), data structures, and we’ve used multiple sorting algorithms to learn their differences.

Some things on here are immensely more difficult than others. If at 4 semesters in you still don’t know how to AT LEAST google your issues for 10 minutes or even READ THE DAMN BOOK, then please don’t bother asking TA’s for help we have our own assignments to do and can’t afford spend an hour working with you to fix your code while you just ignore our suggestions

Four semesters in you should know where to find help online and if that doesn’t work, how to ask for and accept help. If you can’t then I’m sorry. I’m going to spend my time helping others, before I waste my time trying to help you

My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.

The very first call i attended, went like:

Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?

*Listening his problem*

Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".

Client : where can i find "Right Click"?

*me calling ISP*

ISP: hello, how may i help you?

Me: got no connection... you guys maintaining something again from your side?

*30 minutes later*

ISP: we'll check the problem from our end and email u wgat we find

Me (poker face): bit i have no internet :|

MASTURBATION!

Just kidding. What are you, @Agred, twelve?
Mostly I'm going for a walk. If somewhat cleaner air won't help me I'm giving up entirely and driving home. Most of the times it gets the job done, as after around 20 min of driving my head gets clear enough to find some idea to push forward with task at hand.
Playing some video games for few minutes also let's me rest a bit and sometimes find a solution. Although this isn't something I would do often in the office for obvious reasons.

Random dev online: Any chance you could help me figure out how to use something the company you worked for wrote? I need to do XYZ

Me: I didn't write it but sure. Theres a doc here about the full process of doing XYZ <link>

Random dev 5 seconds later: But how do I actually do it? The link doesn't show how to do it via code.

Me: You'll find if you actually read it, that it does. Because I checked. Good day

It's getting close to that time of year when we are all encouraged to think of others and spread joy around the world. I've decided to go against my usual snarky/anti-social nature, and do something to help others this year.

I'm announcing the practiseSafeHex charitable fund, to give back and help others.

This fund will invest in cutting edge medical research to detect the genetic abnormality in humans that results in project managers not being able to comprehend the simplest of concepts.

Together we can find the reason why the concept "more meetings = less work" is uncomprehendible.

Together we can discover why we can't use an automated bot to generate reports, instead of spending hours in excel spreadsheets.

And together we will find a reason why the answer to the question "can we please just try it?" is always "No".

We do this not for ourselves for short term gains, we do this for the greater good. Together we can find the cause and build a test to filter these people out. So that never again will stressed out developers have to deal with these petty ridiculous issues.

Together, we will solve this!

Thanks,
practiseSafeHex, CEO and managing director of the practiseSafeHex charitable fund for the betterment of developer sanity

Plans for 2019

- make my app good enough for prod usage
- find someone to help me with ui
- find someone to help me with marketing
- register my own company
- end my twenties
- maybe quit my 9/5 job by the end of the year

it's gonna be a fun year :)

Right, you pesky type initialization bug, I'm gonna find you. Hiding by throwing your exception in an external library won't help you. I'll download the sources, library by library, and look for you there too.

I *will* track you down, bastard, and exterminate you locally. Then, I'll make a pull request and kick your sorry ass off GitHub, off the internet and off the bloody surface of the earth. Oh, you have no idea how dead you're going to be when I'm done here!

My grandmother asked me to help her find an article about a recipe for a chocolate cake. The recipe she wanted was the first result on Google, so I sent her a LMGTFY link (let me Google that for you, a website that writes by itself the word or the sentence). Later on the same day, she said that her laptop was possessed by a ghost.

Dutch devRant meeting.

The current idea is:
Place: The Hague
Starting date: Saturday the 21th of October.
Ending date: Sunday the 22th for the ones who'd like or just Saturday for the ones who'd like that more.
Spot/place within the hague: (help me out here people)

People can get their own sleeping accommodation. Please ask if you cant find anything :).

So for now remains as main point: when/what time!

Share your throughts in the comments.

Once the system "lost" a user_id var that says who started a batch, but it was a mandatory field that was filled at the beginning of the process.

I tried to find the reason, failed, called a senior for help, he also failed to find the reason.

After a couple of hours I looked to him, he looked back and I said,
"Let's call it a solar flare bit flip?"
"It's the only logical explanation"

So it became a bit flip issue to the PM, we had a good laugh, we send as "system instability" to the client.

The bug never happened again, no one ever found the true reason, maybe it was really a bit flip 🤔

THE NEXT FUCKIN TIME I SEE SOMEONE SAY "hay, how do loop python PLZ HELP" instead of asking a goddamn search engine IM GONNA FIND YOU AND SLIP YOUR FUCKIN THROAT WHILE I KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKIN RIBS WITH ALL MY POWER AND SLOWLY DRINK MY COFFEE AFTER THAT.

He asked me for help on something, i didnt find the problem so i asked him to create a new branch and let me figure it out.
I went back to my PC, cloned the project, but it took me like forever ..
node_module was removed from .gitignore, i asked him why ? He said "i changed on the source of a package i used, what can go wrong? " ...
I almost hit him with a chair c:

Client: "Help me I can't find my programs"
Me: "Have you installed them right?"
Client: "Yes, I have"

Basically I spent an hour explaining him that dragging an installer from the download folder to program folder isn't actually installing...

Programmers then:

No problem NASA mate, we can use these microcontrollers to bring men to the moon no problem!

Programmers now:

Help Stack Overflow, my program is kill.. isn't 90GB (looking at you Evolution) and 400GB of virtual memory (looking at you Gitea) for my app completely normal? I thought that unused memory was wasted memory!1!

(400GB in physical memory is something you only find in the most high-end servers btw)

* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...

I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.

And then another one.

Help.

some students at their CCNA prep course asked me for help to find the wiring fault.

Bloody hell I have been stuck for two hours on a problem and couldn't find any solutions. So naturally I asked my Senior for help. I was trying to export a js file like :

---------config.js--------
module.export = function (app){
//code here
}

-----------Index.js------------
var config = require('./config.js')

config(app)

but it would throw an error saying config is not a function. Wasted two hours only for my senior to point out that I missed an "s" in module.export 😑

Feels so stupid. bloody ass.

We just got an intern in our company a few days ago. She is supposed to be a php developer, not good, but at least something okay. I find major errors, that even a newbie should regocnize.
It's going to be a long internship, if I have to help her all the time with basic stuff.

The office decided to buy us all ice-cream. I got mine out the fridge put it on my desk and before I sat down was asked to join a meeting, after that on the way to my desk got called over to help someone. Eventually got back to find my ice-cream had melted over my entire desk :(

MySQL has the absolute worst error messages.

"You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds blah blah near '(some random code line)'".

How vague can you be? It doesn't help that I always find the error in a completely different place to where the message says it is.

Thanks so much for the clarification Pikepass....such a big help. Now I know exactly what format my account number should look like and where to find it!

I fucking hate it when apps are not named the same way as the fucking product or company. "Connect" app. Connect fucking what? "Mobile bank". Let me try to search for it using the name of my bank. Haha, oops, I forgot I should rather go fuck myself. MusicCast. You're fucking Yamaha and if I can't find you at Y then gods help me.

Had a meeting with a web development firm with 10+ developers on staff to discuss ways we could help them improve efficiency and they said "we don't have anyone who knows SQL or databases"...

How do you even find 10 developers who "don't know databases"?

Me starting a project: Okay I'm stuck with this project I'll just shelve this for now

[3 weeks later]

*comes back to project*

*find a solution with problem I came stuck with*

WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 3 WEEKS TO HELP ME FIX SHIT WRYYYYY

Escalation channel

Q: @here I'm sending a request to X and I'm getting a timeout. Please help.

A: Can you please share the request you're sending?

Q: It's <URL> and I send this token as a Bearer: <token>

A: I understand that, but it's a lot easier to debug if we have the curl for said request. You can find it here: <postman_screenshot_with_arrows>

Q: Here's what it looks like: <postman_screenshot_with_17.4_km_long_curl>

New clients and impostor syndrome.

As a self-taught freelance web developer-designer with minimum experience and an introvert it's hard to find new clients. Also the impostor syndrome-experience (call it as you want) doesn't help at all :/

When you resign and before you leave your coworkers ask you to help them write a job description for your replacement and you be like "MUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Just TRY to find THIS!" #IDoAllTheThings

Please help me to find it.🙏

The hardest part about writing an app is getting anyone to find it :( on that note, please help? <3
If you have little ones I promise they'll enjoy it! it might even get you an hour or two of quiet coding time.
Tap the top bar on the main menu that says 'My First Puzzles' ten times to get prompted for a secret code (3hfazJUD) to unlock all packs free :)

That moment when...

You’re supposed to be doing work.
You have a deadline.
It’s your sister’s baby shower and you promised to help.
Sis comes over every day to hang with family.

I’ve still not managed to get any work done today, video games and hanging and baking have had my time 🤣

I was up from 12-1 making jelly shots from scratch because my mum wanted blue ones and couldn’t find any blue jelly 😂

They’re bubblegum and for my first attempt I think they look pretty sick.

Will have to find out whether they set in the morning 🙈

Anyone an idea? Trying to install proxmox on my HP Proliang again but no matter what I do, it can't find a bootable disk. I've done this about 20 times before (and that worked well) and I did change the boot order but I already set that back again.

Anyone? Help 😥

Me to librarian: can you please help me find "self help books"?

Librarian: NO!

What idiot decided to translate the Excel-formulas?! It's impossible to follow an example you find online or to get help on a complex formula without translating it to English first! (Yes, I know there are online translators out there, but still!)

companies: "we can't find good help!"

also companies: "we don't answer applications promptly, don't understand our own requirements, don't want remote, don't..."

The guy was a complete asshole. He criticized every line of code i did and said he could find someone else who could do it better for less.

It also doesn't help the fact that i worked alone in that project.

rant_type = "self rant"

I've made my IRC client look like my Sublime Text, so whenever I'm chatting and any of my superiors look at my screen, it looks like I'm working hard :D

Though I often find IRC a good place to get help, it's often instant, and I often get the proper answer straight up, instead of going through lots of StackOverflow pages and other sites

Help me solving this logical puzzle. I'm dumb as fuck.

You need to find the logical link to get the missing number.

Dear Contractor,

Please understand that the reason I have hired you is so I could offload fairly marginal tasks and projects to someone else so that my work queue stops being a constipated mess of things that need done. HOWEVER, if you continue to freaking need constant hand holding I'll do the damn project myself. STOP ASKING ME EVERY 30 SECONDS IF I HAVE AN OPINION ON WHAT FUCKING TEXT EDITOR YOU SHOULD BE USING.

Good help is so hard to find.

Sincerely,

Sr. Developer

It is so frustrating to be searching for a problem, find a possible answer on Stack Overflow, and click on it to find out that the only answer was some douche bag explaining to the poster how their question is irrelevant or explain how much more they know. Either answer the question or help them politely.

Case In Point:
Q:
"Is there a ____ library that does _____?

A:
"Why would you want to do that? There are far better ways."

Either provide the "ways" or shut up.

Fuck people who say they want to learn to code and then make 0 effort. You try to help them, find them resources, hold their hand, offer to mentor, come up with projects and they still do nothing. A grown ass man who says he wants to be a developer and get would rather play vampire survivors than open a web browser and learn anything. Why do you waste my time?

Everytime I don't sit in front of my code (and go for a walk or something), I immediately find bugs or things to improve from all the code I've written, IN MY HEAD. If you have a hard time finding bugs, try this, maybe. Might help.

I got a dayjob in a company. I got an error. I cannot solve it and I am so desperate. So I go to stackoverflow, nobody answers. I post on git issue, but nobody solves the problem. So, I pay someone to solve it, like Hackhands.com to find a mentor. There is no mentor that can help. So I pay more, hired a peer, and finally a development team just to help me. They get paid only if they solved it.

But each of my folks repeat my same steps, asking on stackoverflows or github, and none of these help. So, they end up hiring their own friends and mentors. Their friends also end up paying (pay before problem solved) someone to help them.

their friends pay for friends of friends, then friends of friends of friends

And all of a sudden it becomes a giant MLM scheme.

And those people they paid for actually work for a company behind the scene which I am a founder of 😁

Multi billions startup idea, is it?

I find it interesting to see how scenarios sometimes flip.

30 years ago, the generally accepted "best" thing to do when when interacting with a person of colour was to "not see colour" - to treat them as you would anyone else. Meanwhile the similarly accepted "best" thing to do when interacting with a physically disabled person was to recognise their disability, help them if appropriate, give them a boost, encourage them, etc.

Today it seems very much like the opposite. The correct thing to do when interacting with an ethnic minority is to see their colour, recognise their struggle, help them if appropriate, etc. - whereas with disabilities, that approach generally seems to have been labelled "inspiration porn", and the correct thing to do is simply not to see the disability, treating them like you would anyone else.

Not entirely comparable of course, but there's enough similarity there that I find the situation interesting.

Some people would rather post idiotic minion gifs than help find the truth in GitHub threads.

But that's the world we live in.

Army of 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

A half answer on SO gives me a pointer to a possible solution. Using that pointer, I actually find an answer and it's quite involved. So to help others with the same question, I edit the answer to complete it with the additional steps. No edits to the answer involved, just a few additional steps.

😡 The answer author comments that they appreciate the info, but they reject my edit so their answer isn't changed!

What a douchebag.

Help, I don't know if I want to code as a job for the rest of my life.
I feel that I miss physical activity in my job. Its just sitting and programming.
I like programming, it's an infinite series of puzzles, and I like puzzles. But more physical would be nice.

Maybe I should find a 2nd job that is more physical and balance the two.

What is everyone's thoughts on this?

Half fact: Code reviews help to maintain clean codebases.
Full fact: Code reviews are a way to find out who secretly wants you fired.

May or may not have just spent 10 minutes trying to troubleshoot why my terminal couldn't find nano only to realise I'm on a windows PC after every other command i tried failed...

I'm out of my comfort zone, send flannelette and help!

!rant, but some kind of story

I work as a lead dev on a gmod server of a pretty big german community. With the fun stuff, there come the duty‘s to help Jr. Devs or even help people get into Developing. The part, where you help junior devs is always fun, but what I find interesting is the part where you help people learn coding. It’s not easy work, but you learn more every “lesson”. I catch myself exploring and learning something new, even if I know the topic. For me it’s a new journey every time.
Not sure if there are many people who can relate but I just wanted to tell my side on it.

!rant
If you don't even know what MySQL is, fuck off and let me do my job. Don't insist that you can't find the solution to the problem. That's why I'm here. Your incompetence and persistence are slowing me down and if you really want your stuff to be done on time, don't even dip your fingers into my codes. I know you may think that I need help, but your help is useless if you have zero knowledge and can't even understand the solutions given in stack overflow. I'm fine doing this on my own, so fuck off. Just. fuck. off.

Why are some seniors just so full of themselves? I mean... Yeah I know that they know more than me (junior) but common, you don't have to rub it in my face! Tho I'd rather have it that they rub it in my face than them explain it with the most difficult terms / hardest words they could find in the dictionary!!

I also don't need them to complain that I'm on a different platform than them (while they help me)

I don't know but maybe this could help somebody here too, so I'm gonna share this.

I've discovered this Android app called Island, which essentially sandboxes apps by cloning them in its internal environment.

I've sandboxed that Facebook cancer app in order to keep it fucking frozen when I do not use it (I know, web version is good, but I find the app smoother).

It seems to work like a charm (better than greenify-alone ibernation, actually), but I'm still testing it.

Cheers!

Why do co workers find it acceptable to eat and type on their keyboard with greasy fingers and then go on to ask for help only to realise that my fingers are wet / greasy seconds later.... eugh

Coworker: Oh, I couldn't find my Excel file, can you help me to find it?
Me: What is your file name?
Coworker: The file created long time ago, I forgot my file name. But I open it yesterday.
Me: Ok, let's check open recent. (It's surprisingly empty)
Coworker: Yeah, I cleared it just before you arrived. I thought clearing the recent item, will show older items.
Me: ...Ok, let's do a search on all Excel items, which drive did you save your file?
Coworker: I don't remember.
Me: (After search) There are 1000 Excel files. You can start from eliminating the items you remember and ultimately you will find your file. That's all I can help.
Coworker: @x$(/"! ?!

There always a forgetful coworker around me that thinks I am a magician.

!dev

i am so lucky to have a good memory. i am not the best problem solver, but i remember lots of previous solution. being a dev has really help my thought processes though.

tldr; i told my gf i'd get an ass tattoo of her choice if i got a 1500+ on the sat and now i'm nervous because after looking online i can't find a single math question i got wrong.

I love job posts made by HR cronies:

"A majority of your time will be enabling development in our React Native app with a large amount of time dedicated to the rest of our stack."

So, if my math is correct... a majority is greater than 50%... but... "a large amount of time" meaning the rest?

Another job post asking for the typical 10x dev

BuT wHy CaNt We FiNd AnYoNe?!?!?! ThErEs NoT eNoUgH gOoD heLP tHeSe DaYs!!!

Do not use a "debugger".

A debugger is like doing a full-body scan of a sick person. You do not get any specific useful information, and you find a whole lot of information that doesn't help and is just confusing.

Source: Learn Python The Hard Way

Your thought on it?

Today i was trying to solve a problem on my graphs algorithm (find the shortest path) but i was not able to do almost anything, so i asked for help to a friend.

He started to try to help me, but after a long reasoning we both stopped to understand what we were doing.

After a while, i've decided to run the code totally random and... it worked! And that's not all, it worked better than we were trying to do!

What a lucky shot😎
(Sorry if there are some errors, english isn't my first language)

Very important lesson I learned while working with Xcode:
Always have multiple major versions installed and ready to be used.

Xcode 9 can't convert old Swift 2.2 project to Swift 4 and can't open the "old" project? Xcode 7 can help you.

Xcode 9 crashes randomly while moving top level packages? Xcode 8 can help you.

Yeah, always funny to find new bugs in Xcode...

Intend to help a friend to find out what's wrong with a software installation in his laptop today...
But forgot that his Windows installed in Chinese version... how am I supposed to help.... (; _ ;)
I can't read Chinese... can't even find how to open Control Panel...
_________________________________
My native language is not English, but I always have all my techies set up in English.

I feel like I am getting years older every day in this job..

Could someone help me find a mobile developer position (Android I prefer)..

Can anyone recommend a good cross platform way to develop GUI applications?

Looking at building an IDE for GMS-2 to add a new workflow but can't find any good GUI's...

(I want to use C# and yes i would ask on stack overflow but im more likely to get help here and not get called a dick head... Maybe)

I'm really crying right now while reading golang projects/libraries.CANT F**ING FIND WHAT INTERFACE/S WERE IMPLMTED!!!! Help me Oh Lord!

I'm a java dev btw.

Not a rant but as an intern that is older than several of the members of the team I'm assigned to, including my mentor, it was still nice to be complemented on my ability to find workable solutions on my own rather than running for help whenever there is a problem.

I thought it was rather weird to be complemented on this but apparently how I work isn't always the norm.

Waiting to find out results of interview. Dying. I need a change so bad.

Can't stop thinking about questions I wish I would've answered better but I have skin crawling anxiety during interviews and I haven't had one in a loooong time 😭😫 fucking fuck shit fuck universe help me out.

I'm very bad at reading someones code. For example when someone on uni asks me to help him with code I just write it from scratch, I can't find the mistake or even understand thoughts of this person. I'm afraid that when I'm going to work in team I'll be useless. Can I even do something with this?

Sometimes, people you work for are just dump.
Someone ask me this:

"Can you help me find the 'e from the internet'?"

And by "e from the internet", she means internet explorer...

The problem was, she right click it and unpinned it from the taskbar...

Ps: it's the same person who maked me do my first Rant.

My dream project is something very simple but not yet done in Pakistan.

I want to create a marketplace for musical instruments and related equipment. Currently it's very hard for amateur musicians in Pakistan to find the gear they're looking for, and being one of these musicians myself, I know how frustrating it can be. So it'd be great if I can solve that problem in a country where the government does very little to help independent artists grow.

Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:

"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."

... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?

Now I have a Course called "Microprocessor and Assembly Language" this semester. I'm not understanding much of it from the classes (I don't find our teacher very good at teaching). So couple of days ago she says we have to submit projects at the end of this semester and it must be something related to hardware, not software(as she thinks Assembly is a language for Hardware). Now I have to submit a proposal to her very soon with an idea for the project. I'm killing myself over it but can't find any idea. Can anyone help me regarding this matter?

Found this @ $ find --help
😂😂😂

Is the way people solve problems intrinsic to the native language they learned growing up? Can the shape of our thoughts be optimal for solving certain kinds of problems? Like sentence structure, grammar, etc.

If the pattern of thoughts a language promotes can help us solve problems. Then is there a spoken language that can help promote solving computer science problems?

I know I have to work to think differently to program in different styles of programming. I wonder if we can learn from different spoken languages patterns of logic that are applicable to engineering.

Mathematics, while not a spoken language, has helped me re-frame things in programming. I think programming has also helped in other areas. Like using binary search to find the end of a pipe in the ground.

Stickers came today. Thank you guys @
@

Please help me find the 2 guys I should thank for that. YES I FORGOT THEIR NAMES.

Why is the most useful Explorer shortcut (rename element, F2) besides the least useful one (Help, F1)??
And why does Help open in the browser? Not the default one, but EDGE.
Fuck them. I'll find a way of disabling F1 one day...

Care to help me with some some-what basic math?

100 characters exist in the ASCII codec.

I'm trying to figure out the minimum amount of characters required to encode them. (= Turning each digit into a two digit char set that doesn't mach any other char set to enable me to do other things with them. i.e: A = dE)

It would simply be: x^2, where x is the number of minimum characters required.. But I don't know how to interact that with 100 to find x.

!rant
How about a feed where people can ask for help?

I know there are sites such as stack overflow for things like that, but I find devrant's community to be a lot more friendly and just better overall.

Also I believe it would be kinda funny if the questions would not be required to be 100% dev related.

That shitty moment when you are reverse engineering an app (LINE), but can't find any useful hints.
Web analysis didn't help. Decompiling the windows executable also didn't help. Testing the app on different behaviour with python scripts didn't help. Analysing the android app on windows with the jadx decompiler and other decompiler didn't help that much.
BUT today it worked. I did use a paid "Dex dump" android application. I found some methods that the app receives from the servers with a thrift protocol.
Now I just need to find the right parameters to be finally able to make a bot. Hehehe.

That was a hard way, but it paid out. I did learn so many things. It took me like a whole year.

Email from client: "help! I'm updating my content but it's not showing up on the website! What's wrong?"

A couple of emails back and forth and decide it would be easier to go find out what's up in person, seeing how she's in the same building but downstairs.

"So what's the problem?" I ask
"Oh I figured it out myself. I remembered when you gave me the training that there's two steps to the process but forgot the second one"
"Second one?" I ask (you click update and voila)
"Yeah I forgot after you click update you have to refresh the page, thanks for coming down to help though"
Me: 😑😑😑😑

Quantum Made all of my favorite extensions useless. I am crying.
Can anybody help me find alternatives?
especially for KittyKeys!!

Dell is such awful machine to use with ubuntu even it was officially ubuntu installed machine it has so much issues and my work is suffering because of this machine which costs me 70k PKR. Having 8gb ram 500hdd, core i3 processor 4th gen.
I'm suffering from wifi getting disconnected time to time I couldn't find help on ubuntu forms nor on official dell site
I guess both sucks pretty bad

will atleast never buy dell machine again nor with stupid ubuntu os just

Do we have, as developers, some social networks, that could help us to find a companions for developing apps. I don't mean such things like GitHub, where we operate with Open Source software. But, for example, I have an idea, but I'm alone and need more developers to implement this idea. So I need to find those guys who wouldbe ready to join me. Do we have such a communities? Don't you know?

We support IE at work.

went to test page in IE, CRASH... With a freaking jquery exception, what?!?! Error was no help, debugging was pointless.

Took me 30min to find out that I can't define a variable in a JS function definition like "function doStuff(isThing = false)".... That's ES6 only...

Made sure I prevent further mistakes by setting my PHPstorm language setting to ES5.1

We all have that moment in life when we feel that people around us are just there to -use- you. Honestly it feels annoying when the majority does. My friends noticed that a lot of people used me to help in their tasks. I usually don't say no, I find every opportunity to be a learning one.

A friend of mine, after hearing our stories, said something to me that has ever since stuck to me:

"if people don't use you, you're useless".

Honestly, I find this to be one heck of an advice. Certainly has made me feel like I'm on the right track!

!rant
Someone got a tip how to start contributing to open source projects? I really want to spend some time to help out but I have some problems finding something small to begin with. It seems that everything i find needs some kind of specialist know how.
So my plan is to start with some small things to work myself up to bigger projects

Thanks :)

Not strictly a dev-goal, but anyway:
Now that I am responsible for a few people in the company I work for, my goal is to find a balance between managing and dev, and to help them develop their skills, be productive, and enjoy their work.

Love my mother to death. But whenever she asks for help such as how do you save a word file, and where to find it - I loose it.

I want to build my lab at home, a useful lab, what can I buy to make a lab that I will use almost everyday please? I already have MacBook pro, an HP elitebook on OPENSUSE, my main gaming computer on Windows, a Raspberry Pi, tons of cables and a bit of money. Can you help me to find?

Me: "Yeah so I have this problem, I generated an environment and setup a NodeJS docker image on it and it returns "Cannot find public IP address", help"

SO: "Yeah but what are you trying to achieve? Here is a link of the documentation everyone saw and that didn't help at all."

Me: "I just want to... reach the fucking server? Without trouble? Please?"

Some people need some cocaine in they morning coffee, if it can help then open their fucking eyes

When you get that customer's customer who forgets what the email is about:

-customer's customer was complaining they couldn't see a thing on some website-

Me: "That reference number didn't work... can you give me another reference number or something that might help find the thing?"

Customer's Customer: "I'm sorry but you're going to be more specific, I can't help you without a reference number."

-It appears customer's customer thinks I'm asking them for help now... let's see if...-

Me: "Never mind, close ticket."

Customer's Customer: "Ok!"

-me closes ticket-

┐(´ー｀)┌

I just remembered I have a list of funny things I want to put in a tech movie. Just thought of new one today:

Programmer trying to do IT work and cannot locate the person they are trying to help:
I have a specialized set up skills. I will find you, and I will fix your printer.

The character would be a programmer and have a PHD. Printer Help Desk certificate.

Anyone here doing meditation regularly. Do you feel that it enhances your programming skills? Not to mention it help s to find inner peace.

Someone asks for help as to why their website isn't working, you find the problem and tell them, then they're like "no that can't be the problem". So you fix the problem and they ask "what did you do?"

Friends do have their uses after all.

Me: I'm still trying to find a to-do app I actually like.
Friend: Don't you make software for a living?
Me: More of a help desk monkey but yes.
Friend: Why don't you just make the app you want?
Me: Because it hadn't occurred to me that I could probably do that until now.

Time to go read up on android development and java.

There are 10 kind of people:
-those who will not get this at all
-those who expected 10 to be in base 10
-those who are used to the joke with 10 in base 2
-those who will think 10 is in base 6
-those who will add kinds of people and say that my interpretation of "10" was wrong (a subset of those will make the second group be rigth)
-those who will help me to find a way to recursively break this joke (pls, help, i can't find it... 😭😭)

I hate it when someone asks me for help in a part of his code, then I find that the problem is the whole code not just that part.

I have 3 options:
- try to make it work, and get lost in his shit, not refactored code.
- tell him that I am not that good so he get out of my face
- kill him, so he can reproduce

PS: just kidding

Alright, as some of you already know, I got a gaming PC recently. I have a PS4 and an Xbox one but this is the first time I'm about to play PC games properly with a GTX 1070. I'm extremely thrilled. So please PC gaming masters help me to find good games. I play Forza Horizon 3 now. I love that game. I need to get another game or two. I was looking at Mafia 3, new Assassin's creed and FarCry 5. I need your help to figure this out. What should I play?

Ive been looking for a rant that mentionned being payed to review code for something like 50pounds an hour.

Can any one help me to either find the person/rant/company that offers this service?

!Rant
Help/ideas needed

I need ideas of projects to develop in my free time, I'm tired of the old technology and ugly projects from work, I want to develop something new, fun, to feel the excitement of coding again ;)

The field does not matter i'm willing to learn.

And , no , I can get another job, that is not an option because of the special benefits it's offering that I can not find in another company(very flexible schedule, I'm a student and need it).

I spent the majority of my afternoon trying to find a good site to help me improve on my coding but they all seem the same. I'm tired of switching sites and going all through the basics that I already know again and again. I need a project! Some sort of goal or maybe just switch languages.

Guys help me grow my small collaboration group. If you're interested in learning new things,collaborating new ideas or just wanna talk to some cool cats then join us. My goal is to grow it as much as possible so anyone can find the help they need on their next/current idea. If interested drop your email and ill send you an invite to our slack. I don't care what your skill set is. You might learn something new. You might not . if anything youll make new friends:)

For chrissakes, the Stackasses on Stack Overflow have, in their typical fashion, downvoted my question instead of attempting to answer it.

I seriously need help with coding a PyQt5 wizard I made in Qt Designer. I’m so sick of fucking around with these idiots.

Can someone point me somewhere PRODUCTIVE where I might get some help? Looking at Experts Exchange and wondering if they have the necessary expertise. Getting to the point where I’m actually thinking of shelling out money. But I’d much rather just find a good online community or something.

TIA

Spent a little more than an a hour trying to figure out why an octopus deployment tool isn't picking up my project definitions.
Called a colleague to help me, as I explain the situation to him I find out that I created *.yaml files instead of *.yml
Wtf brain! Y u do this brain?

After 1hour of live chat they were able to help me find the actual page content (green mark) ... speechless

How do you guys get LinkedIn recruiters to annoy you? I want to be annoyed too - I reckon it would help me find places that are hiring

You can find so many tutorials, learning paths for C#, C++, python, angular, jss, java, etc.
But literally none for batch file programming (if that's even what it's called) so little documentation on cmd.exe and writing .bat files :'(

Can someone please please help?
Just point me in the right direction?

inb4 google it

Can't even find a proper way to learn android app development.. Some tutorials are way too basic and others way too advanced.. Even books arent of much help to me... I know the basics... How do i learn further :/ How do i code without having to look at some example every time ://

Hey guys.
Can't find help for this.
I want to program my arduino with my phone, but ArduinoDroid doesn't detect the Arduino while the device detects a USB device plugged in.
Can't find any help so don't know if it's my android (xioami mi A1 Android 8.1, soon Android 9). Anyone who uses that knows?

The Missing Button Paradox: The time it takes for a presenter to find a button on their screen increases based on the amount of participants who can see the button and try to help the presenter find it.

Real life experiences developers, web developers and or designers! Please help.

I have been self studying for web development for almost 2 years. Even still, I'm too afraid to apply to jobs. I haven't built a solid project for a while because I'm losing hope. I know well beyond beginner html, css and JavaScript. What do I SERIOUSLY need to know before applying? Any suggestions? Concepts? Abilities? I think my girlfriend is losing faith in this choice I made as well. If I can't find a code job soon, I think I'm destined to find full-time work, anywhere.. and I only finished a 2 year degree.

Please help, fucking desperate.

Bug is not fixable

I get these as I have to submit security issues as bugs and then help whoever is in charge of the fixing find and implement a good solution. But apparently , nope . In some devs opinion , sqli issues are not fixable .

Can anyone of you help me.
I couldnt find anything on the internet, on how to remove that one branching commit, or how it got there in the first place.
(that commit and the one above it, introduce exactly the same changes)

Ok..now its up to you guys. I couldnt find any answer on google that could help me..
SSH : is that only like a dos or batch command line (simply script language) , to go with?
I see often the "$" sign , for what does it stand for?

My grandpa cannot find his car.
Help please - Error 404

As I dismantle the infrastructure for a now dead project I once worked very hard to main, I find myself oddly emotional about it. I can't help but feel a since of loss. Goodbye friend.

I just find out that AI is gonna extinct humanity. And developers will be on a privileged sit to appreciate that. So i decided to learn python and machine learning to help!

Starting the process of applying for developer jobs without any computing qualifications (I'm self taught) and I'm convinced that I'll not hear from anyone 😣 any tips from Dev rant to help me find that first job?

I'm about to interview for a Support Desk position with a year left in college. Studying software engineering, is this a bad job for me? As I get closer to my graduation, I'm going to apply for developer positions, but would this experience hurt me more than help?

Haven't had any luck trying to find a developer internship. Live in Atlanta.

I'm a developer, what have i been doind at my job the past weeks.TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO F*CKING FIX THE TEST ENVIRONMENT, SERVICES AND GIVE ME SOME PROPER TESTDATA, I cannot even test the stuff we need to replace because THERE IS NO WORKING TESTDATA AND NOBODY FEELS RESPONSIBLE TO HELP ME. Then how the hell am I supposed to rebuild this stuff if I don't know how it is working now >:(

Looking for help I'm a software development student been studying programming for 3 years so have some experience just wondering is any good online tutorials or books that could help me develop my Python skills we don't cover it in college and I would love to pick up on how to use Python but all courses I find are very basic and expect I'm a beginner

Maybe some of you guys can help me out with this.

I'm having trouble using GitHub for Unity with a repository that I have associated with an organisation.
In GitKraken I have to authorise the app for it to be usable with the repository, but I can't seem to find any simple way to do this with GitHub for Unity.

Anyone else here who's had the same issue, and knows a fix?

Have you ever tried to get something working in node.js... and the version and uninstall and reinstall... hours and hours of dicking around with this god damn raspberry pi zero only to find that node jack shit does not support the "older" ARM 6 processor on the newest raspberry pi zero Wi-Fi units. And omg the amateurs out there with the copy-paste half-assed "help" clogging out the real info. God damn hobby ware.

I often use white noise to help me sleep and more and more often recently I've start using the deep sound of a moving hair dryer to help me concentrate. I find it extremely relaxing.

PLEASE. Help me to find a good name for my function.

My function returns json or XML based on the accept header parameter.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Anyone else here trying to access the menu of any service display they come across. Can't help it ;)
(Or trying to find an outgoing link if the display is set to a certain website.)

Updated Visual Studio and now my Xamarin app can't post the login and register credentials anymore. My server api is working, I tested with postman. Can't find any help online and I'm fucking done!

So, A very close friend of mine is a fellow computer science student. But she has no interest in coding. Mostly because she never tried it. Is there any post or video that can help her find a motivation.

I know that interest comes from within, but set that aside for a while and help me out with something that inspired you.

Day 2 was fun to implement but…

I find that elf very suspicious. How does he know what another elf will play? Is he a demon that can see into the future?
And why would that elf help me? He could keep this knowledge for himself and secure a place near the snacks tent.
🤔

Can someone help me to get some good practices with expressjs/sequelize combinations?
I managed to find how to not have all the models in the same js page and how to organize the routing but when I look the time it took me to find, I would like to don't have to search now 😂

So we now answer IT support calls. I’m a developer that does help desk support work. Is it just me, or does anyone else find that extremely fucking annoying? I don’t want to spend my day being interrupted all the time to solve an IT problem when I’m employed as a developer. Fuck sake. The worst bit about all of this is I can’t find another job because there aren’t any. Glorious.

Someone help!

I'm looking at replacing my Moto 360 gen 2 because I've given up hope of the gen 3 (even if I know things that I'm not allowed to share) and I'm looking at the ticwatch c2 but can't find any CPU comparisons between the SD 400 and SDW 2100...

I know the 2100 is essentially the 400 on a smaller manufacturing process but still...

When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.

1. I wish you can help me find my Dev Jasmine
2. I wish she comes with Dev Abu/Iago
3. I wish you can be my friend Dev Genie

I can't seem to get a job. I know I lack team skills (agile team environmetn stuff) and "commercial" experience. But I had hoped by working on Opensource projects, displaying my ability to write clean documented code, and use of TDD publicly would help get to the initial interviews. But I'm still not hearing back from anyone and it's getting harder and harder to find work when I keep getting questioned about why I haven't been employed for almost two years

So hard to find someone who can help with UI temple using sketch🦄
😭😭😭

Just wondering, so many people are building extensions for devRant but I didn't find any APIs anywhere. Can someone help me with a link where I can find these? Thanks :)

I launched something and I checked it and checked it and checked it on mobile and desktop. Come to find out, it’s still wrong and it was out there live and broken. I’ve never done this before. I can’t even calm myself down enough to think of a solution because all I feel is impending doom. And it also doesn’t help that I’m running on 4 hours of sleep.

So asked to help out on an extra project that another Dev ( who is a senior developer ) is working on and I go to clone the repo but find 15 or so commit messages on the master branch saying "Work on feature x" (not an actual x). This is going to be fun...

Windows is stupid

My desktop is in my room, and consistently every night at around 11 to 12 it wakes up from sleep, consequently waking me up. I did some troubleshooting and apparently it's doing "automatic maintenance"? I couldn't find a way to turn it off.

If any other devs have had this problem, please help, I'm getting sick of this.

Just a quick question someone might be able to help with, I'm looking for an android tv box that is relatively up to date and going to be kept up to date for development.

Haven't been able to find anything on Google other than the NVIDIA shield or Xiaomi Mi box...

Hey,, fellow ranters, if you have some free time and want to interact with shitty Korean sites (yes, i am cozyplanes) that support all the way down to IE6, this is the chance for you!

Help me find a school code that is somewhere in the JS,

If you are interested, see comments below, and drop me a line here!

Some meme page on Instagram has been chatting with me asking for help with a C# project.

1) who is this guy and how'd he find out about me

2) why tf are we on Instagram

3) I don't know much C#, much less cross platform development with C#, so I have no clue why I'm helping, if I am

Find what resets you mentally and use it to your advantage. For me it's either a shower or a long walk (with music). Both help me relax and gather my thoughts so I can start fresh.

Remembering of when I first learnt about the importance of version control.

There I was, working in Visual Studio, laptop unplugged; the laptop suddenly shuts down - battery dead. Not too worried, might just have to rewrite a few lines I had not saved. Restart the machine, open VS, the file I was working on now contains strange characters - totally damaged.

Google for help, find a question on stackoverflow with the same issue (comforting moment). The answer I get:

"First question, why wasn't your code on source control?"

Maybe someone here can help me out. I get annoyed when I need to use the mouse; I lose concentration whenever I have to find it on my desk (small glance from the screen to find it). I work with a Mac and need a mouse to test everything I make works. Is there some tiny presentation roll mouse I can hold whilst I type, or a clit mouse I can add to the keyboard out there?

*Wakes up*
*Message from aunt*
Aunt: Hey sweety I can't find this movie anywhere on the internet plz use ur cyber superpowers and help me thx
Aunt: *Link to the movie's trailer on Youtube*
*Clicks link*
*Scrolls down*
Youtube comment: *Link to the movie*
*Copies and pastes to aunt*
Aunt: omg thxxx <3
*Goes back to sleep*

Because why even try when you can ask your nephew to do it for you?

Boss asked me to find out good beginner java course for the new n00b colleagues. Help me out please.

Looking for the gif of the "developer" in Times Square. Can't find it via Google search but I want to show a friend as the guy looks roughly like a dev friend of mine. Help me out.

Did you get onboarded as a developer properly? I mean did you have enough help to start coding real fast in your team? I find my new team has so many resources that I can't even go through and pinging someone every time feels like a kill every time.

I have been in work 25 minutes before my colleague asks me to help him save and email a file to someone, AGAIN. I have showed them so many times how to do it but they keep losing the file (saving it to the local disk rather than network so they cant find it then forgot how to export the file as a PDF)

Can the subscript of an array be a floating point number ?
i know, i know, i can find answers on google and i found one on quora but i want you guys to help me 🤗 in the comments

Help, i can't find my Symfony.

That moment when you are very busy with an important feature busting your brain on a complex algorithm and a colleague cant wait to hold his questions..

Then finally agree to help him debug, and you find the problem within 10 minutes..

Can anyone help me? I couldn't find a file manager on my iPad.

I need some help people. Need a good tutorial to understand Bootstrap grid and responsive framework. I have always worked on Media queries before. Couldn't find a good tutorial.

How do you find the balance between just howing the junior how it's done (or end up doing it yourself) and giving them hints so they can figure it out on their own?

Not trying to be an ass, on the contrary, I just want to help.

But it's frustrating as fuck seeing all the little, simple stuff going wrong over and over and I end up just giving in and take time off my assignments to "help out" (point out the error/give the solution).

I started catching feelings for my toilet. It's always been there for me to help me take all the bullshit out of me. Now i feel bad for shitting at it so much. In fact after unclogging the toilet it now hasnt got enough water inside so now the shit smells more. Gotta find a way to fix this toilet just how it found a way to fix me

Hi,
I tried to install Visual Studio 2015 update 3 but I am getting below message.
Can someone please help. I did a Google search I could not find a fix for it.

I honestly think the hardest thing as a developer is to find people who will contribute to a proj nothing against people preoccupied just saying if anyone wants to help they can but back to the main point I also think that motivation is hard thats why I am so grateful for the devrant community

I really wanna make an AI that will reply all my messages, do all my programming, do my laundry, cook food, buy groceries & help me find my soulmate

19:30, still in the office fixing server issue. Lync message pops up from "let's call him the ba", help! Need to rollback a change on someone else's project that has just been deployed changing the username and password from Xxxxxx Xxx2016 to xxxxxx xxx2016 to stop people from accessing it.... Genius design! By the way, I've just had a look at that 40 page doc of changes you emailed him. When do you want it? Tuesday. Wtf? (Bank holiday here on Monday so one day to make the changes) Ok, if you're busy, it's only text changes so can some of us help? It's only a find and replace right? Er, do you have visual studio? What's that? FU

Thought I would help the webdev find a memory leak so step one build a developer version of chromium. Problem one ncurses and libtinfo 😅 got to love the split! Problem two gpg keys on old nucurses compat libs 😅. Linux is not for the faint hearted 😎

I don't mind helping people when they come across an issue as chances are I already know the answer, but it's got to the point at the company I work for where some devs automatically come to me for help without even trying to debug or find the answer themselves. Even when an error is written out in black and white - "this protected function must be public"... Anyone can code, but what makes programmer good is the ability to debug.

Ive repeatedly posted this over and over and i will continue to because i really want this collaboration network to grow! If you're not interested then share this with anyone who might be:

"Guys help me grow my small collaboration group. If you're interested in learning new things,collaborating new ideas or just wanna talk to some cool cats then join us. My goal is to grow it as much as possible so anyone can find the help they need on their next/current idea. If interested drop your email and ill send you an invite to our slack. I don't care what your skill set is. You might learn something new. You might not. If anything youll make new friends :)"

I NEED HELP!

Please if I find this out my boss will let me out of the basement. A thermometer that sends a electric signal when the temp is 100. (Or any specific set temp)

I haven't seen the sun in 2 hours. HELP.

I couldn't find something on the internet, so maybe you can help me.
I run Debian + i3 on my laptop, and it takes incredible long, to start some software, especially from the Gnome-DE.
Does one of you know, why this occurs ?

I need help:

I’m on a (old) MacBook Air (2018 but before the new one) and I use 2 browsers: Chrome & Brave (school and personal).
Since 3~4 days, I keep getting logged out of all my accounts on both browsers, and I can’t see to find why.
I don’t block all cookies, all my login info is saved (autocomplete), but I always get logged out.
Any ideas?

I'm a fool.

Trying to delete local version of domain account:
Supposed to use command:
net user [username] /delete

Tried:
net user "domain\user" /delete

Didn't work, came up with help which said an option was net user [/delete] [/domain]
So I decided to try:
net user "user" /delete /domain

... "The request will be processed at a domain controller for domain domain.local.

The command completed successfully."

Well FUCK

So now the user's account has been deleted on AD, trying to restore it but AD management tools aren't picking up AD's object so I can't find the tombstone.

SHIITTTTTTTTT :((

TL;DR: I've fucked a user's account and can't find what I need to fix it.

Moral: Don't be a fool like me.

Hello fellow Ranters,

I'm in need of some help, I want to try building a small website, like maybe 4 pages worth of work for my uncle. But I'd like to build it in such a way that a non-programmer (my uncle) could upload photos to a portfolio section through an administrative console page. I'm doing this mostly to learn how to build something like this and also as a side project to help out my uncle.

From what I've read, I'm thinking that Angular (maybe?) might be the right way to go about building dynamic pages, but I'm not really sure and was wondering what you guys would suggest? If possible can you please also recommend a place where I can find examples for something like this?

Thank you in advance for your help and recommendations, I really appreciate it!!!