Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

I was looking for about a month for a laptop. Then on this one magical day I open kijiji and see a Toshiba Thinkpad T450s with 20gb of ram, 138 ssd and an i5-6300U cpu going fo 500$ (value 2000+).

My first thought was. Okay. Scam alert. But you know. What if?

So I call up this person. And its a girl who got a pc from her bf, but really she wanted a mac so she is selling it.

This straight up blew my mind. I decided, fuck it. Got 500. Ran to her. Ran a systems check on the laptop. Checked for any attempts at opening it up. Checked the harddrive. Checked the ram. Everything is solid.

Long story short. Thank god for apple fangirls!

"Can you put my site as the first result on google?"

I can add SEO to your site, just give me your preferred keywords, a description, and let's make sure we follow white hat best practices etc.

"No call someone at google and ask how much to go to the top of the list"

So you want to pay for ads or..?

"No get a figure I can pay to get to first page"
"Or can you just edit the google"

... And so I never renewed that contract ever again, the end.

Root ain't givin' no fucks no mo'

My boss just demanded that I join a conference call. So, I call in, and there's three other people there.

He starts chewing me out for talking with some vendor directly (their VP emailed me directly and asked for a few things, and i was instructed to make him happy). Apparently I used "confusing wording" and "did not talk his language." Bossman was really getting into gear for a ten-minute berating.

It turns out that the guy in question only read half of my first email, and totally ignored the second email where I told him everything was finished and live and working. I told my boss quite bluntly that the guy should have read what I had written, and that he was an idiot. The boss's defense of the guy? "Well, he's a sales guy." I just laughed at him.

Later, bossman started in on me (once again) for not making enough progress on this ridiculous shared-spreadsheet sales tool he wants, saying "We discussed this a week ago!"

I casually reminded him that we had talked about it for the first time ever on Friday night (today is Tuesday), and he had said it wasn't going to be a priority for the next three weeks(!). Again he stopped in his tracks. Again, I laughed at him.

Guy's a tool and I'm so done with caring.

Root's going to be flippant and angry. Root's going to have fun (:

What's he gonna do, fire me? 😂

Someone at Google: how do we make Android build times quicker?

Someone else at Google: we could make a new button next to Run and call it 'Instant Run' and give it an awesome lighting bolt icon!

First someone: what will it do differently?

Second someone: nothing 😎

New neighbor came in yesterday, she cute, and apparently she also goes to the same college as me, though... when she came in last night to thank me she thought I was doing something illegal

Neighbor: "What are those?"
Me: "Lemme ex-"
Neighbor: "Are you doing [hacky hacky uwu]?"
Me: "First before you get the wrong-"
Neighbor: "I'm call-"
Me: "This is a fucking weather sattelite reciever ffs"

[Awkward silence]

Fast forward to today, landlady came in and immediately recognized my weather sattelite rig (I did it for a science fair before I graduated SHS), told neighbor she shouldn't worry because I have stuff like this everyday

God, if it wasn't for our landlady, I would have the police in my ass for neighbors getting the wrong idea...

Seriously nani the fuck

Today's my lucky day for job rejections...

"Unfortunately we have decided not to proceed with you as a candidate because the salary range you expect lies outside our budget."

That's very interesting indeed because in the very first interview (phone call) you asked me about that range and I gave it, straight and simple.

Then I had to do a coding challenge, which I usually refuse, but did anyway. It took about 15 hours. Let's not forget that it had nothing to do with the job I was applying for, but OK.

After that, a second interview, which took 1.5 hours and a third, which gobbled up 2 hours of my time.

Then you tell me that you're not willing to fork over the dosh, after having wasted 18.5 hours of my time!

Thank you very much, you anus blossoms!

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

This is an old rant from over 10 years ago in my first job at 19. I was tasked with turning off one of our clients email because they had left the company. Easy enough, logged into cPanel, job done. Later that day I get a phone call from the clients company asking if there was a problem with the email. No I said, everything should be fine, I did remove a 'joe.bloggs@blah.com' email address as instructed because... *reading job bag*... they had left the company. The client then said, that's my email you've turned off and hung up. Turned out he had been fired and no one told him. I felt horrible. I will always remember that conversation 😓

Manager: This code you wrote violates the single responsibility principle!!

Dev: How so?

Manager: You have one function that you call in *MULTIPLE* places. That’s too much responsibility for one function! Functions should only have one responsibility!! Creeping the scope of a function beyond that is a TERRIBLE way to write code!

Dev: But why spin up multiple functions that all perform the same thing?

Manager: Well if a function has a bug in it and you use that function multiple places then that bug exists everywhere you use that function. If a function only has one responsibility then if it has a bug that bug will only exist in the single place it is called! You really should think first before asking questions like that.

Dev: …

First day at new job, let's go and see how this is going to go! I'll finally be able to call myself a professional linuxer 🙌😄

First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*

*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*

*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*

*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*

*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*

*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*

*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*

FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.

1. Move to new house
2. Setup electricity account to auto-pay every month
3. Wait
4. Receive "disconnect" notice from electric provder
5. WTF
6. Call. Oh, yeah, our website doesn't tell you that you have to pay your first month's bill before you can setup auto-pay. It's in the fine print.

Okay people, here's my rant - if you manage a website that supports auto-pay and you're not PREVENTING your customers from signing up for auto-pay until there is a $0 balance in the account, then you're doing something wrong. Don't let your customers think they're about to loose their electric service because of a frontend guardrails issue.

First we were called "rockstar" developers.

Then HR started using "heroes".

Then "tigers" and some confused associates who didn't get the memo used various other big cats.

Now they're starting to call us "product warriors".

🤦‍♂️

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

College placements, one of the leading tech companies comes to hire people on day 1, I miss the first round coz I overslept, woke up and realized the test started an hour ago, finally went in after the test was done. They still let me take the coding test but with reduced time, and kept talking to themselves that if this guy gets through, I'm fucking done with placements. Managed to do well in the test and then proceeded to the interviews, aced the interviews and was offered a job. People at work still call me "that guy who turned up late and still got the job"

First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'

Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?

Damn, really?!

!Rant

Last Thursday: solicitation
Friday: got a call that I'm hired
Tuesday: signed contract

I did it, I just got my first job!

I was having dinner yesterday and I suddenly get a message from someone from another team.

Them: Hi
Me: Hi

(No response for 20 mins)

Them: I'm having some problem with your service. Its not working when I do <task>
Me: Okay, let me look into that.
Them: Also, <task2> is not working
Them: And <task3> has problems
Them: Could you also look into <task4>?
Me: (visibly sweating) Let's discuss this in detail in the morning.

[Next day, morning]
*convinced that the service has a major bug*
Me: Yeah, show me what is causing the problem.

They show me what they tried. Turns out they made an invalid call and got an error, AS THEY SHOULD, and reported that as a bug. And all the other tasks were because the first call didn't work.

:|

Motivational Quote:-
"If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0".

My first hack... Back at the days when phones had disks to dial a number. I was a kid of cause, I'm not that old. I used to like to call my grans. Once, when I supposed to go to sleep already, I've found out that there is phone socket in my room (the one connected to the copper wire, that is where the word "phone line" came from).
It took me about a half of an hour to detach handset from the toy phone and about two ours to reverse engineer dialing protocol (you just need to disconnect the line sequentially corresponding number if times).
And after that I've heard my granny's voice. I was literally overwhelmed that it worked.

This is my first rant ever.
I guess You could call it...rant[0]

HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?

Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.

HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.

Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks

'lashed out' to a client for the first time yesterday.

Clients have the habit to call after tickets and while its annoying, it's manageable if it happens *sometimes*

It was happening the entire fucking morning and when a client called for an update about a ticket for the second time, I couldn't help but sound frustrated.

"how far are you with the ticket?"
"i have other things to do as well, you know, you're not the only customer i have to help right now"
"i understand, do you possibly have an eta?"
"no. You're next in line, is that clear enough?"
"okay" *hangs up*

*crap*

He e-mailed me afterwards apologizing, that was nice.

I'm sorry sir 😥 nothing personal but it can become so fucking annoying sometimes.

Well that's a first.
A Chinese recruiter contacted me speaking entirely in what I suspect was Mandarin.

My resume and posted work experience lacks any mention of Mandarin, Cantonese, etc. Then again it also lacks any mention of Java, and yet recruiters still call me a Java master. 🤔

I really hate how people see Bachelor of Computer Science as a meme.

I think it's because everyone who has a Computer calls himself a IT-Expert. So today on Xmas family joined for a meal, we talked about work and study and stuff...

Auntie: "So why do you need to study to Operate a Computer, my Son built one by himself without studying, you should study something solid like economics"

First I thought this was a meme, later I found out she was dead serious.

All the math, physics, scientific research, papers, software engineering just to operate a computer 😂

I'm not gonna call her names, because it's Xmas so:

father forgive them, because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

I love fakeupdate.net - that's the way I teach my colleges to lock their screen when they leave the room.

Yesterday I made a Windows 98 screen, turned off the other monitor and disabled the keyboard. First my college was so cool and said: "I know this already just press f11" then he freaked out why this isn't working and wanted to call the support. Was a funny day.

SUPERVISOR: You wrote this 140 lines method, it's too long. You should split it up, it's not readable
IHateForALiving: Bruh be serious, this is a single switch-case; I can't split it.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, I'll do it.

HIS CODE: He split the 140 lines method into 2 methods: the first is 4 lines long; it's a try-catch surrounding a call to the other method, 136 lines long.

Start a new job.
It is amazing.
What, you will not pay my JetBrains? Ugh... cheap boss.
Do you call this scrum?
Now I need to build this dumbass feature.
Wait, all the seasoned people are leaving?
Why did I choose this place at first?
Linkedin.
Interview.
This sounds awesome.
Good salary.
Bye guys.

Start a new job...

friend: how do you create a game?
me: *laughing* slow down, first of all try to learn to code, then...
friend: cut the bullshit! your the IT guy, tell me, how you simply create a for e.x. Call of Duty?

It's fine if you're 'not good with computers' and need help. Ask me politely and sure I'll see how I can help and teach you what you need so that you can do it yourself in the future.

It's not fine, however, if you refuse to fucking learn after the millionth time I've taught you how to do the exact same thing because 'It's too hard' and 'I won't understand anyway'. And then proceed to call me a bad and ungrateful friend because I can't come to your rescue the very second you need me and don't seem 1000% enthusiastic to help at 1am in the morning when I'm still doing my own work.

Sure, I'm the 'tech person' amongst our friends. I *do* understand the frustration you experience when something isn't working. But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to be your 24/7 IT support, while listening to your complaints of how I was probably the one who fucked it up in the first place when I helped fixed your phone/laptop last time (for the record, this was *never* the case).

UGHHHHHHHH

ps: I just found this community and I love it already! Thought this mental rant I had earlier would fit right in lol
(Also, sorry English isn't my first language D:

First fucking night of being on call again.

Normally I set an alarm at 3 to check if any critical disruptions have been going on.

But why the fuck would I need that if I woke up every fucking hour at night anyways?

I'm fucking tired right now and agitated as hell.

I took a one month intern position for a company doing data entry. They had thousands of rows in dozens of spreadsheets, and they needed the data entered, row by row, into two different sites, and then link the two entries together.

After the first day I was ready to lose my mind. But... I'm a developer. You know where this is going 😉

At noon the next day, I emailed my employer: "hey, I finished all three spreadsheets you gave me, and I'm ready for more." A few minutes later I received an absolutely astonished phone call.

Long story short, I had all the spreadsheets entered by the end of the day (unfortunately putting the rest of the interns out of a job!), got paid a decent sum for the thousands of $ I saved them, and received a permanent position, where I'm still working today :)

My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.

The very first call i attended, went like:

Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?

*Listening his problem*

Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".

Client : where can i find "Right Click"?

got a call from a recruiter for a job. said "wokey, let's see what you got to offer"
get to the interview, the first question is "why do you want to work in our company?"
me: i don't know, you called me!

When you get a client from real MOTHERFUCKING hell.

You just really FUCKING want to say this:

Scorched earth MOTHERFUCKER. I will massacre you. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB.
First, take a big step back and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.
I will rain down an ungodly FUCKING firestorm upon you.
You're gonna have to call the FUCKING United Nations and get a FUCKING BINDING RESOLUTION to keep me from FUCKING destroying you.
I am talking SCORCHED EARTH MOTHERFUCKER.
I will MASSACRE you.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

But for your own sake you keep it at this:
Yes sir/ma'am :).

Average linux developer: writes completely fast, optimized code that compiles the first time all via the terminal. He doesn't care.

Also average linux developer: decides to call it Winblows instead of Windows in an attempt to get more people to use linux. He feels like a genius.

Android and Full Stack dev here. Also first post.

No boss, i won't call that client to tell him how to configure ssl for his Outlook.

I just had my first "Microsoft you have a virus on your computer" scam call today and I managed to waste 29 minutes of their time, collect 4 numbers to report and call the guy and asshole in the end.

I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing. I remember getting a phone call from a client at 2am on a Friday because their site was down and having to ssh in from a Nokia with the world's tiniest keyboard to reboot the server.

Of course that particular server only exposed port 22 on it's local network, so I had to first ssh into another server which did have its ssh port open to external connections.

Trying to remember two sets of credentials and type them in on a tiny keyboard, while so drunk you were seeing double, standing outside in the rain as it was the only place you got signal. Yeah…I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing

I got a call at 12:30 one night a few months back. Apparently some back-end scripts I edited to fix an automated test setup crashed around 75 test pc's and halted somewhere around 2000 tests. I quickly jumped on, fixed the issue, and got everything back online.

I was up all night certain I would get fired. First thing in the morning the client says welcome to the club some, of the best have done the same thing.

tl;dr: Bossmang blaming my code for a database connection issue thrown from outside of my code. Bossmang doesn’t listen. Bossmang doesn’t want to believe it’s a connection issue.

———

Bossmang: The code you wrote is causing insane spec failures in the release branch! It’s hard to follow because it’s so insane, but the cause is your code not properly handling undefined settings! Look at this! <spec>

Me: Specs pass on my machine. I ran it with both a set and nil value. <screenshots>

Bossmang: It works when you set it to nil.

Me: But a setting that doesn’t exist returns nil? <screenshot>

Bossmang: Not seeming to.... So this is the spec failure from the release: “No connection pool with id primary found. <stacktrace that starts outside of my code>”

Me: ... That’s a DB connection error. It’s also being thrown outside of my code, and from a `super` call to Rails.

Bossmang: But <unrelated> and <unrelated> and <other spec> is failing, and if I set the version, it has <other failure> instead! That calls your code first.

Me: It’s a database error. Also: <explains probable, unrelated cause of other failures, like someone didn’t mock a fucking external api call>

Bossmang: But if I restore a DB backup, it fails again.

Me: Restoring uses a dB connection, which could be exhausting the pool depending on the daemons you have running.

Bossmang: perhaps.

...

Bossmang: I still think it’s related to spec ordering.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
This is tiring.

Just had my first evening/night of being the on call/standby server engineer.

I'm quite tired but it's a fun experience.
Having to set an alarm at 3am is something I've gotta get used to though 😅

Only a few calls and a few server thingies that I had to look into!

I got my very first dev job! After first making it to an interview where I didn't think I did all too well, I got a boost when on the 22nd December they called me asking for a referral. I gave them one but the person could not be contacted before the 23rd - close to xmas.

After an agonizing wait over the xmas period I finally got the call today. One hell of a way to start the new year!

I got a summer job (full time student) doing actual coding! I am so pumped!!!

I built very involved code with multiple auth systems, async programming, business logic, error handling, and etc. I was asking for the missing environment variables during the call with devops and had a screen share going. Environment variables were the last thing I needed before knowing if it would work. I filled in the config and all the code worked perfectly.

The devs lost their shit. One suggested that I had somehow tested it beforehand because it is impossible that it would work the first time. “How? I didn’t have config details or access to any of the remote APIs until now.”

The dev lead finished the call with, “That was some big brain next level shit.” Then they went and reviewed and tested it after the call and didn’t have much to suggest besides naming nitpicks.

It was at that point I knew I was a hero to the other devs.

About a year ago I switched my job.
At the start everything seemed like magic. I was the It director, I've finally was able to call the shots on technologies, on new software architecture.
First step was to check the current state of the company.
"qqqq" as each pc password? Ok
No firewall from outside? Lovely
Servers running on Windows Server 2008? Spectacular
People leaving pc on after work and left the machine unlocked just not to type the password? Hell yeah
The IT dude playing games instead of working? But ofcourse
Plaintext passwords publically accessible eshop? Naturally.
The list goes on and on.
After all this time, I'm working to fix every hole like that like crazy and because it doesn't show results, I'm soon to lose my job. Well better luck next time as an intern I guess :')

At a game dev class. Class starts and everyone is already doing something and I don't know what. I hear the some guy telling us about what to do with those "assets he sent us". Apparently everyone got a mail with the assets we'll be using and an instruction video for the day. Everyone but me, that is. I call the guy over and I tell him I didn't get the email. "Well why didn't you get the email?" HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW? You didn't tell us we'd be getting one so I couldn't exactly tell you to resend it. So now I'm just sitting here watching the rest of them work awkwardly...(first rant btw)

Probably the most awkward feeling call happened to me just recently.

I was to interview a guy that's like 10 years older from me with 10y more experience in mostly unrelated tech. I was prepared to have some respect for the guy, and was a bit anxious, but that changed quickly.

The first fucking thing he says, on the fucking job Interview is essentially "I've worked in tech for 20 or so years, and I don't appreciate being tested" great start .. needless to say, I tried to reformulate all my prepared Interview questions so they sound as casual as I could while still trying to get him to tell me *anything*. Most of the time I just felt like "why are we even here dude, you clearly don't care about any of this"...

About 12 or so questions later It was finally clear that none of his experience is useful, and even the exp he has sounds like past companies kept him around as a number...

I want to try a few more edge cases, hoping to find anything we could work with, when he calls me out on it and says "Well now you're testing me, I don't like being tested" at which point I pretty much gave up on the dude and let my HR colleague talk.

Then out of nowhere the guy brings up his mortgage, and how he needs money, and how no one wants to give him a job, and that if we don't want him, we should just tell him now.

Then he starts asking how many people we're interviewing, which is obviously stuff we can't answer, I just said "normal amount" to dodge the question at first, but that just made him more closed off and he just silently remarked "so you can be picky..."

That was one of the most painful interviews I had so far. Me and ny colleague pretty much instantly agreed that he's not a good culture fit for us. Probably not a fit for any company really, not with that attitude.

PS: it was a video call, though he had his camera turned off at first, so it was only me with a camera for half the call. He turned it on just about as I had enough of him.

I'm in my second call from hell today. Passed off first to a teammate to run a meeting. First one started 10 hours ago, this started 5 hours ago. Neither are related. Neither show signs of resolving.

Other teammate is on the same call that started 2 days ago.

Who the hell pissed Murphy off?

I don't know what Google's design team has taken for drugs lately, but I want some!!

First, replacement of the blobs into this trash that they call emoji nowadays. 10-20 years ago we called it the crap stickers from MSN.
Next, Android Pie would look like iOS, but in the most grotesque way possible.
And now it's creeping into the apps.. Google Play, YouTube, Messaging, …

It all looks so.. white, and round, and childish. What happened to sharp corners, using all the screen real estate, and.. those colors?! God I can't stand how white the Google apps are starting to look. But I know the solution. I'll accuse Google of being RACIST!! Because black people would be so offended by the lack of dark themes. GOOGLE, YOU PATRIARCHIC, NON-INCLUSIVE, RACISTIC A-HOLES!!! CHANGE YOUR COLORS NOW!!!

I can see how that could actually work nowadays 🙃

[Little perspective: For the last 7 months I'm working in a certain project.]
[The project is full of unimaginative, non-creative devs with 0 initiative and poor technical background.]
[And they're almost all from one country which you all can figure out.]
[But I'm not going to mention it here because I don't want to come up as a racist]
[So there's US (Europeans) and THEM. 3 of US and about 10 of THEM. And we're doing 90% of all the heavy lifting]
---
Yesterday
---
D (Dev from THEM): Hi S, I have a problem with my task
Me: (sighing) Ok let's have a call
* on the call with D we were checking some stuff loosely related to task *
* code wouldn't get invoked at all for some reason *
* suddenly I realize that even if the code would invoke, D's probably doing everything wrong in it anyway *
Me (thinking): I need to double check something.
Me: I can't help you now, I'll get back to you later.
* call ended *
---
Me: Hey J, I need your help, I need to clarify the work package in my mind, because I am no longer sure.
J (my European TL): Ok, fire away.
* call started *
Me: Is it true that [blahblahblah] and so D's task depends on me completing first my task, or am I losing my mind?
J: That is correct.
Me: Well she's trying to do this in [that] way, which is completely wrong.
J: You see, that's how it is in this project, you do refinements with them, split these work packages to tasks, mention specifically what depends on what and what order should things be taken in, and in some cases all tasks from given user stories should be done by one person entirely... But they do it their way anyway, assign different people to different interdependent tasks, and these people don't even understand the big picture and they try to do the things the way they think they understand them.
Me: It's a fire in a brothel.
J: Yup.
Me: I fucking love this project.
J: (smiling silently)
* call ended *
---
Me: Ok D, you can't do your task because it's dependant on my task.
D: Oh... so what do I do?
Me: I don't know, do something else until I do my task.
---
A (THEIR TL) (Oh, did I forget to mention that there are 2 TLs in this project? THEY have their own. And there are 2 PMs as well.)
A: Hey S, I need to talk
Me: (sighing, getting distracted from work again) Ok let's have a call
* call started *
A: S, we need this entire work package done by Friday EOD.
Me: I can't promise, especially since there are several people working on its several tasks.
A: D's working on hers for 3 days already, and she's stuck. We want you to take over.
Me: (sighing, thinking "great"): Ok.
* call ended *
---
Me: Hey D, A instructed me to take over your task. This is actually going to be easier since you'd have to wait for mine after all.
D: Oh, ok.
---
* I switched the Assigned Person on D's task to myself on Azure *
---
This morning, email from D.
"Hey, I completed my task and it's on [this] branch, what do I do now?"

........................................
Me, hesitating between 2 ways to reply:
(and take note there are people in CC: A, J, P - the last one is THEIR PM)
1) "Hi, Unfortunately you'd still have to wait for my changes because your task is dependent on my task - the column to be changed is in the table that I am introducing and it's not merged to develop branch yet. By the way I already did your task locally, as I was instructed to do it, I'm wrapping things up now."
(y'know: the response which is kind, professional, understanding; without a slight bit of impatience)
2) WHAT FUCKING PART OF "DON'T DO THIS I WILL FUCKING DO IT MYSELF GO HOME JUST GO HOME" YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND

In my CS class I turned in some assignments recently. Two of them were extremely similar: one was to test if a number was even or odd, the other to test if the length of a string was even or odd. I completed the first one and then started to work on the second one and decide to just call the isEven method from the previous lab so I can follow DRY (Dont repeat yourself) and not have to write the same code again. I turned it in and she took off points for it. -.-

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

When these "LinkedIn recruiters" call me and start the conversation by saying: "We are a growing company and we can't offer you what you are asking for"

Like what!! Really? You called me at the first place!

Have you guys heard about blind coding?

I had been to competition, first round was quiz.
That was quite easy, though most of the questions were incomplete and didn't make any sense.

They have provided an app. We use that to check the result.

So first round is over, 1 hour later my friend called me asked whether I'm qualified for the next round . I checked the results and my name wasn't there. I was very disappointed.

I left that place after I saw my result. I got a bus which goes to my place.

After 10 minutes, I got a call from the event head asking why I didn't attend second round 😑. I asked why name wasn't there on the result, for which he replied with "database updatation error".

I got down in the next stop and took a bus again to that place.

I reached there, second round was started, First part was debugging. It was easy, I debugged the given program and got the desired output.
Second part was coding. A guy showed a problem to solve and told me to read it quickly . I did as he told.
He opened Dev C++ and gave me a paper to write the program .

When I was about to start typing, he turned off the monitor and told I should write it on paper first and type the program having monitor turned off. 😨

I wrote and typed the program without seeing.
After 30 minutes a college lecturer came to give marks. He told me to compile the program.

TBH, there were many typing mistakes. As header file spelling was wrong it showed only one error.

Him: Huh, cool only one error, well done. *noted that and walked to a guy next to me*

Why the fuck do employers post remote position jobs, only to let you know in the first call that they require the employee to live in/near a certain city. That's not a remote position and it happened several times in my job hunt

(Instant Message)
Client: Are you there?
Me: Yes speak please.
(Why don't you just leave the message? It's not like having a phone call…)
Client: The contract is ready. I'll send it to you.
(Waited for an akaward 10 minute…)
Client: ???Can you receive it???
(Omg are you doing SSL handshake or what? Just send the file!)
Me: Yes I can pleasre send it to me thank you so much.

So after promoting Flutter to the clients (for whom cross plateform solution are perfect match) for almost a year, today I finally got the first ever Flutter App contract. I believ e time for Flutter is really coming. Wish me luck!

My first ever interview for a developer position involved waking up around 9am to a call from an unrecognized number.

I answered and realized it was someone from a startup I applied to just a day before.

Instant phone interview with tech questions on React and Angular, and I BS'd my way through it, knowing almost nothing about either. Got the job, somehow.

I saw a piece of code that, to my knowledge of software engineering, should have never worked in the first place. The code doesn't know that, and it works anyway.

I call this a "bumblebug".

So I would really like to see a devrant like app where devs can share design ideas for problems that are greater than a function call, or topical questions found on stack overflow.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that actual implementation is typically easy, the design approach is typically harder to get right from the first go, so open critique can be very useful.

It was my first ever hackathon. Initially, I registered with my friend who is a non coder but want to experience the thrill of joining a hackathon. But when we arrived at the event, someone older than us was added to our team because he was solo at that time. Eventually, this old guy (not too old, around his 20s) ( and let’s call him A) and I got close.
We chose the problem where one is tasked to create an ML model that can predict the phenotype of a plant based on genotypic data. Before the event, I didn’t have any background in machine learning, but A was so kind to teach me.
I learned key terms in ML, was able to train different models, and we ended up using my models as the final product. Though the highest accuracy I got for one of my model was 52%, but it didn’t discouraged me.
We didn’t won, however. But it was a great first time experience for me.
Also, he gave me an idea in pitching, because he was also taking MS in Data Science ( I think ) and he had a great background in sales as well, so yeah I got that too.

Two months ago, I went to an interview that I thought I aced... Time passed and I heard nothing. Got bummed cause it's one of the rare positions that doesn't require industry experience, plus a friend works there so that would be fun.
Yesterday tho, i received a phone call from said friend saying that he finally got an update on a situation (since the whole thing was kinda in the dark even inside the company).
Apparently, the boss who directly interviewed me fought to the nail to hire me cause I was most qualified (even tho I'm very modest and generally nervous as fuck on interviews), but was denied funds for the new department at the moment.

Still bummed about the whole situation, but god damn it feels great to know that I'm still the first choice if/when they get funds

I just got a call from a recruiter asking if I had any recommendations for a company in town. Eight years ago, I met the owner of this company and he seemingly went out of his way to ignore me every time we met. His attitude was cold, unwelcoming, and not a character I ever wanted to associate with.

It's a small world. Please don't burn your bridges before you ever get your company's first round of major funding. Yes, I know a lot of people that might have wanted a position like this, but not with him at the helm.

As much as I wanted to express my disdain for the owner, I hold steadfast that the only respectful answer to this recruiter is to say: "I have no recommendations for this position."

Morning Ritual

1. Start all devices 
2. Check headset status 
3. Check emails 
4. COFFEE <3 
5. First call... 
6. 20 annoying minutes of two people talk to each other without a result 
7. COFFEE <3 ... cold

Six years ago I created a drupal page pro bono for an organization I'm in. Was my first site really, was hacky af, in retrospect, I created an unmaintainable monster. And as it usually happens, I moved away, the site stops being properly maintained, opening admin view just cries "please update me" (or was it "kill"? Not sure here). Now I'm back in town and get a call from the current one in charge requesting a training. I thought this evil dark dev history of mine is now finally returning to hunt me forever. But no, she actually understood it, and after half an hour she was perfectly capable of maintaining the site. I'm stunned.

!dev

Ffuuuuucckk

This day just sucks.
Got a speeding ticket, went to pay it first thing in the morning. To renew insurance I had to call the bank to update my phone nr for 2FA. In this endless loop of „for this, press 1, for that, press2“ I pressed the wrong number and it invalidated my e-Banking password.
After a while got my number updated, after that called the insurance, after waiting for like 20min got that sorted and wanted to check my bank balance but I couldn’t log in. Now I can’t reset it either because it’s locked.
Need to call then again but needed a break and wanted to cook something but now my FUCKING SINK is clogged.

Have to uninstall half of the kitchen to get to t he pipes..

And it’s only noon.

Customer: *brings in laptop and printer* My internet has been terrible lately, so this printer hasn't been working very well as a wireless printer. Could you fix it?

Me: Well, it wouldn't help much because it would be hooked up on our network, so when you take it home it won't work on yours.

Customer: I don't understand...

Me: *thinks for a second* okay, so it's like you have two streams of water. Whatever you do in the first stream doesn't effect the second stream of water.

Customer: I still don't understand....

Me: Never mind. Just go home and give us a call. We'll be able to help you better that way.

Customer: Okay, thanks!

Coworker: You can't cross the streams, Rider!

(internships included as I'm on my first real job)

Best: my current job.

Worst: using Google services at an internship instead of quitting (yes, this is a big deal for me). People call me crazy when they hear that but I've got my fucking ethics/morals/values.

For the record, if I'd have to choose between having an income/using Google services or starving, I'd go for the income part anyways, I don't have a deathwish.

Was looking for an unknown call blocker when I came across an app which says something like 'call blocker'. The first person in the reviews gave it one star with the text: it doesn't block sms.

IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE FUCKING TITLE/DESCRIPTION YOU FUCKING DIPWIT

This is my first rant with image, I was taking break and decided​ to read Android apps comments/reviews. So I picked this app call "Calculator", developed by Google.

Take a look at the second comments from the screenshot. It is beyond User Error...

Imagine being on vacation and the first notification you see on your phone in the morning is from your colleague on Teams:
"Hey! Are you available for a call despite the vacation?"

Fml and fuck me for being too kind to even spend time answering his questions instead of ghosting him.

In one of my first jobs i developed an (ugly and heavly under-payed) e-commerce/media platform for a customer.
That customer was constantly making fun of his bald partner telling how he was gay, liked dicks, etc., drawing dicks and bananas as sample website logos or uploading dildo/penis images as images, he was always like this.
Once the website was ready for production i removed all the "testing" posts and images and told the client to insert some real content and alert me when it was ready for release.
Well some time after the release i got a call from that client, for the first time he was serious:

C: Hi, why there are dildo images on the server? (the website in production was full of dildo/penis images instead of actual product images, he even photoshopped the head of his partner on a penis and uploaded it!!!)
R: ehm... i told you it was on production and to stop uploading bad content....
C: Ummm ok, please fix it immediatly, thanks!

I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.

Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"

Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.

It happened.
It finally fucking happend, I wish it didn't, but it happened.

I was in my very first call through zoom were I didn't even speak and didn't even really need to listen.

About 1h.

Everything could have been an e-mail, of course

First we had this stupid Hoverboards.

Now we have god damn fidget spinners. Every Idiot got one.

Now there's fucking Fidgets Spinners with LED.

Will the next fucking Cancer be a IDE with RGB flashing Code, animations and this shit is coming form coding Noob Hipsters and script Kiddies, who wanna be cool???

Kid from the future: Yo Bro lets configure our LED Fidget Spinner with this premade software and call it coding. We will be cool hackers.

So I started getting email notifications telling me about transactions made using my credit card. But I DON'T have a credit card in the first place.

Instead of trying to call customer care and pressing an endless array of buttons, I drive to the bank. I tell them the situation and they check every database they have but they couldn't find any trace of a card connected to my account. Turns out their database somehow had cross-links in their database.
How does the one of the biggest banks in the country possibly have such an issue. Worst part is that it's been a day and they still haven't fixed it -_-

I'm working on a larger web project for authorities that went live yesterday.
I also trained the staff for the last two days so that everyone knows how to register an account, use the application etc.

Got the first call today: "I can't create an account...the website does not start".

Uh..okay...what the? >_>

Turns out, the user entered the URL in Google Search and wondered why nothing happens and why the website does not load.

Wow... and that was just the first call.

Call me a child, but I still have a love for Lego. Lately, as I have been sorting my childhood collection into individual sets, I needed a way to track how many of each piece I've found for any given set, and started programming a tool that lets me pull Lego set inventories from the internet and keep track of the parts I've found.
This is the first time I've found a problem and built a program to solve it, and it feels so good! :D

(in case anyone is curious, I'm building it in Java as an Android app.)

So I wrote an application that loads data from a 3rd party API. It allows the user to enter a record locator number and pull it up. By design, the value can be a partial match and it will pull up the record still.

The first API call I make only took 2-3 seconds, so I didn't see an issue as it's loading most of the data the app needs. I keep the filters/fields as they are and move on.

Fast forward 6 months. The user is complaining that the records are taking 30-45 seconds to load. Sure enough, load times are terrible. I've made lots of changes to what fields I'm loading through the API, and I'm calling several additional APIs, so I start pulling pieces of code out to see if anything improves. They all barely make any difference--still 30+ second load times. I end up removing everything except the first API call I developed that was taking 2-3 seconds before. Still taking 30+ seconds.

The 3rd party API allows you to filter using "starts with" or "contains". I used "contains" initially and had no issue, but I decided to try "starts with" since it should fit most use cases.

Load time is less than one second. I add back everything else. Load time is just over a second.

It seems that the 3rd party updated the API and multiplied load times by 10 when using that particular filter. I spent almost an hour on this since the platform doesn't support performance or debugging tools very well, and it all came down to a one line fix.

!rant:

Today I lent a noise canceling headphone for a call at the office. After using it for the first time I see myself using it more often in our open office - even without sound on 😅

What do you guys think about noise canceling? I was blown away by it

Trying to buy a house in another state. First time moving out of state, first time trying to buy a house. Making first offer this weekend. Which is terrifying, and exciting. But it’s also lonely because my other half is in the other state looking at houses and I’m stuck here working and taking care of the cats.

Had a poor mental health day yesterday. Got a call today that my mama (gran on my mum’s side) took a tumble and has been in hospital and they don’t think she’ll pull through. I don’t have many memories of her, but the memories I do have are happy ones. She was always full of life and love and kindness.

💔

Project Leader is explaining to teammate how their UI will call my API and it'll run asynchronously in the background. UI guy asks: about error handling? I said the callback listener will be notified if anything goes wrong. I ask the PL, what next? just log and forget about it (that's my sarcasm)? How would anyone know this has failed?

PL says: good point and can worry about this later. Lets first focus on getting things to work.

You know later never comes. Well, except when the customer reports a problem. Its like every disaster movie you've ever seen before

Java dev here. I rewrote an app and replaced a system call to ssh with a modern jaxrs post for uploading a file and (new) some additional data.
I even used a stream.

1 hour in production, first client doesn't get his file. Log says OutOfMemoryError: heap.

Me: wtf? I already use streams.
Looking at the Jersey library. Docs say nothing. An issue from 2013 says: oh if you silly don't use the Apache httpclient addon, we disable chunking and buffer the whole body, because our tests fail with the jdk included http client otherwise.

Me: meh.

No warning in the logs. Thank you soooooo much! Who could have known?

Head of HR for a company I’ve never heard of has hounded me for days on Cord.io.
I’ve kept fobbing her off and showing disinterest but she kept on about how they’re so interested in talking to me because they need people with my experience. Blah blah.

I finally give in and arrange a call.

First question she asks is “So why do you want to work for us ?”

Wait, what ????
You came to me! I’ve never even heard of this tin shed company.

Spent about 3 hours arguing back and forth with a QA engineer on what a particular API call was *supposed* to do. It actually got a little heated and probably bothered me way more than it should have, but in the end he comes back with "well why don't we just ask the dev that wrote the code in the first place". Guess who that was?

Holy shit, today I was the first person to arrive at work... And then the alarm came on... I didn't knew the code 😅 sooooo a panic phone call later, I turned it off but holy Shit... I've never had this rush this early of the day

Ok this is fucking freaky!!

I was talking to my girl that she mentioned a song on a phone call today and I was listening to YouTube and all of a sudden the same song she mentioned came up which is an old out of my regular genres.
I freaked out and told her that's why I have fucking privacy issues!
And then I suggested making myself a private chatting app...
Her next sentence was:
"Yes you can baby... Basically the world is your app store!" <- her first coders quote (we are contagious)

Just had one of the most cringiest HR interview ever. I'm looking for a new job, and yesterday applied for several med/senior backend developer positions and immediately got response from a well known software company.

We schedule a call today 9:00am, so I take homeoffice and wake-up half an hour earlier than usual.

First thing I notice, lady is 5mins late, but okay its morning, we're all humans, so I don't mind it even though some other person might call it a classical sign of disrespect and hangup right away.

First question: Why did you apply for our company?
- Euhhmm cause I'm looking for a new job and I saw your job ad yesterday?

Second question: Why would you like to work at our company?
- Left speechless.. Well I honestly don't know, not really following your company, I know that you exist but that's about it, shouldn't you be telling me this? (*heavy breathing on the other side*)

The rest of interview left me quite uninterested due to initial questions, like what the hell, I can imagine these being alright for interns and junior developers who might be fascinated by opportunity to work for a big and well known company to build their CV, but c'mon I've went through shit already and honestly don't care for who I work for as long as they have interesting projects, are paying me right and have couple small benefits I'm looking for such as homeoffice, gym card etc..

Today somebody claimed they have the "copyright" of responsive websites.

First of all, I'm here for almost a year now, but this is my first rant. Hello guys!
(linuxxx, call me)

This didn't happen to me.

So, it begins like this:
Some client called us and said "[INSERT_COMPANY_NAME] called us and said they have the copyright of all responsive websites, asking money."

I hanged up, laughed hard and visited [INSERT_COMPANY_NAME] website and saw this:

- Each website that uses the solution must report the domain name in order to register it.
- If a company undertakes web site design, it is the company responsibility to inform and record.
- Any unauthorized website will be considered unauthorized and a violation case will be opened.
...

Pricing (Currency Converted to Dollars)
1 Website ~$260
2 - 10 Website ~$1300
...

Well, eventually I reported this to government. I unmasked this fraud.
OR DID I?

Their site is saying this now: "We do not serve this to anyone except government now, you are making nonsense and we do not want nonsense."

So I posted it on a forum, asking what can we do.

We are suing this company now. Yeah, I said "we".

PS: If we cannot win this, I'll get the copyright of subdomains.

As a freelancer I get side requests from bigger development companies from time to time that don't have the time or capacity to deal with it themselves.

So usually the employees are pretty friendly but they do not like to read any of the documentation I send with the code. They call me up with stupid questions that are usually answered in the documentation.

I had sent them everything they had requested last Thursday so they called me on Friday to ask the usual stupid question. However, this time I had beforehand decided to have some fun! I told them I had to leave for the weekend and to call me back on Monday. Of course they called me during the weekend, but I didn't answer. So they called me today.

What I had done before handing it all in was I had named the methods that I wrote illogically, while stating and explaining the whole situation in the documentation extra clearly.

So I answered the call today and the first thing they did was apologize. Since I didn't answer their calls during the weekend they finally realized that the best way to go is reading the documentation instead of calling me all the time. They were freaked out at first because they thought there was something completely wrong with the code and they had to tell their client that the deadline had to be pushed back.

We are all good now :)

Fuck the NBN - you aussies will know!

So apparently Fixed IPs are not a thing for HFC connections unless you have a business account.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Although I didn’t pay for a fixed ip on adsl and it states it’s “dynamic”, mind you it hasn’t changed in 6 years... so it may aswell be fixed right? Right?

Now I have to go explore DDNS with Cloudflare, looks like a api call on ip change will do the trick but urgh.

Ps: I finally.... made it to the nbn - well that’s next week...

only 3 years overdue since my first “NBN ready” letter 😂

What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...

Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#

This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.

Yay! Finally got my first job in IT.

They call it just "IT admin/sysadmin", but it's... eh..
What I do is make sure the servers work (sysadmin part) and make desktop/mobile apps. So far, the company seems to be quite nice, there are already 4 devs who are friendly. *knocks on wood*

Will see how it goes, and I'd like to thank you for sharing your stories. Learned quite a lot from them!

I officially got a call that i start a job from 15th december

That's my first job after graduating with a computer science degree, and it took exactly 421 days later.

This is depressing and sad. Im not even interested in starting a job. I hoped they will reject me just like the other 10,468 jobs. Im not used to getting accepted.

I have to finish my side project within these two weeks asap rn

Getting my first dev position. 3 months of boot camp being told I'd find a job locally in no time, only to find out the true cost; 8 months (after program completion), 100+ applications, 5 interviews, two call backs, and a lot of emotional nights questioning my decision to switch careers.

Feels good to have the first year of work under my belt. Unfortunately I'm back in the hunt.

Onwards and upwards!

First off, what do you mean by ´people like me´?

Do I look like an outer-space creature to you when you look at my profile? Or are you looking for a do-not-feed sign at the side of my wooden fence?

What even, .. I'm human, like you, you moron with a missing 'sapien'.

It's kinda ironic, as you can't even abide the maximum length your message has, which you speak of. Therefore I reckon you lost the second 'sapien' too.

Yes, now you may call me "people", and yourself... well you're mute. You monkey.

Just rambling. /ignored

Yeah, maybe I can solve your problem in 5 minutes with you. But first you have to spend 5 minutes explaining it to me, and I need to spend 5 minutes listening, and after we're done, it takes 5 minutes to remember what I was doing in the first place.

So you better be sure you could not have solved it in 25 minutes googling on your own, or you're effectively saying your time is more valuable than mine.

And if you spend another 5 minutes forcing me to spend 5 minutes listening to your goddam stories about what it was like growing up on your fucking farm, so help me jebus, I will take that idiotic thing you call a mouse and shove it so far up your ass you'll be scrolling with your duodenum.

How about you started off with programming?

I'll start with a veery old picture of my first Java-Code I've written (if you can call it eben that). At that time I tried to code using a JS-Designer. Just hilarious. 😂😂😂

I'm a web dev who decided to take a shot at mobile development (My first mobile app mind you). I'm writing a mobile app and one of it's features is communicating to my server via websockets.

So I write the code, click to send the data and my server doesn't receive it. Fuck. I check why. I log everything. Nothing.
I spend several of hours and I'm exhausted by this point so i call one of our mobile developers to help me. Turns out my emulator didn't have a WiFi module. FUCK.

Alright so I compile it to an apk and install it on my phone. I popped open a terminal and started my local node server.

I click on the mobile app...

NOTHING LOGS. FUUUUUUCK.

And this is the best part.
Apparently I deleted the console.dir call from my server that executed when it received some data from an emitter.

I only thought of this last night at 2am so I got up and checked. Yep. Kill me.

I don't know if I should cry or laugh...

Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.

Today's flash news?

Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**

But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.

They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.

And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.

This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.

Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?

So it's been awhile since I switched from PHP to Golang.

At first I missed PHP a lot, but golang really has some advantages, so its fine.

But over time, and when the project grows in features, I more and more and more start to miss more and more at least basic classes / inheritance and abstraction friendly stuff from php.

Im finally reaching the point where I start to truly miss php, I can't stop myself after writing a feature to think how much less work that would be in php.

Call me crazy, but damn, it's real.

Client: How long will it take you to build this?

Me: Maximum of 7days

Day 1 to Day 5, To myself: I have so much time, lemme build a Js engine in Rust and open-source it. It shouldn't take that long.

Day 6, After many failed attempts at debugging RegExp:

Starts working on the client's product, scraps off sleeping hour (why do I sleep in the first place)

Day 7: At 23:59...calls clients, he doesn't answer, probably sleeping... Sends message "Product ready to be tested at your call, I've not slept in 7 straight days because I like you"

Soooooo had 2 phone screenings with 2 different recruiters.

So all was going well with the first call until she asks me about certain technology, and I'm a little confused as to how she was working it, so I asked, "do you mean....?". And her reply was....,"I don't know, I guess. That's what's written down here." I seriously almost hung up the phone!! 🤣🤣🤣

The second one was worst! This genius had the bright idea to call me from...wait for it....HOME! I mean all I heard was brats in the background and they kept destructing her. She's like ," so how long have u been-- Billy! Get down off that, NOW! Sorry about that." I'm thinking, "what the hell?"(only seconds into the call) She continues, "So what's your favorite lang-I told u to get off that! Hold on..." phone goes silent.... "Hello, I'm so sorry...." Asked me more programing questions few seconds later..."I thought I told you-------" phone drops! At this point I'm trying to hold my laughter in. She gets back on. "Sorry, dropped my phone. Well, I think that's all the questions I had, did you have any for me?" "Really?" I'm thinking. "Nooooope" I say.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was having somewhat of a crappy day, I needed that.

Not at my current dev job, but I worked for a place that had us be On-call and if someone called we would all get an email telling us who was complaining, where the site was, the problem, etc.
This service was a 24/7 service.

Anyways one of my first times on call I definitely slept through like 12 emails throughout the night, and when I woke up the next morning I saw that the owner of the company had taken all 12 and resolved the issues.

I thought I was a goner for sure.

And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".

Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.

Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!

I'm brain dead.

I hate using the phone. When dealing with urls, email addresses and lists of changes/fixes all day, this is the least accurate and efficient way of getting information to me. Especially when I'm in the middle of doing things and get a call from a boss. I rarely even answer calls from the bosses.

My boss gave my cell to a vendor to get some urls. For 3 days I've been getting voicemail about sending some urls via email. I sent the urls on day one to the first person. 2 other people from the company have called me requesting the same thing. Why does any of this warrant a phone call. A quick paragraph email would solve all of this. I shouldn't even be talking to these people. My boss could have given the urls when he talked to them the first time. They call him when they can't get ahold of me.

At this point, I just want to be as difficult as I can be to continue wasting all of their time for being difficult and wasting mine.

Here we go again. Months have passed since this client first wanted their website launched. But because they were suddenly and inexplicably in no real hurry to make it go live, we are now waiting for them to get back to us on whether to push to Production. Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and as soon as I told them I need the check by no later than April 1st, everyone over there is no longer answering phone calls or emails. Voicemail box is full and not accepting any more messages.

I think this would be the part where I call "Big Nick" and ask him to pay them a little "visit". If I knew someone like that.

Rant

I'm tired of this shit!!!

First I receive a task to create a new functionality for the app that I'm working on and some documentation (this is the only good part of all the rant) but no design.

It's been 2 weeks since I got assigned to this and still no design, no assets, no API calls that ACTUALLY WORK.

Today was testing a plist to get a banner link, and for 1 hour that little fucker didn't returned the image I was asking.

Better, I wasn't getting ANY IMAGE. Turns out that the link sends me to a HTML URL that doesn't have any image... go figure!

So I've been working on this from some images inside the PDF with the documentation given.

Oh! Wait! There's more!

The cherry on top is that I'm implementing a chat/voice call/video call into the app and the framework that I will be using is being created now, and it's not even finished!!!!!!

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

working on a crappy legacy site written by an invalid. The job was to replicate an existing site for a school with the original's permission. I fix a shit ton of bugs and update the original.

For the first time ever I got a phone call from the original's owner to complain that I had fixed their site -.-

leave things broken from now on!

Traveled 3 hours away to go into the office for the first time in 2 years... just to get a call from the wife that the dog is sick and I need to come home...

FML

It's fascinating to see C# mentioned as a "lower level language" now days. Times change.

C# was my first language when I started out learning about programming as a kid (I still think it's a great language) and I remember searching the forums for information about any commercial games written with it hoping it was possible to build something "cool" and "3D". Back then that was pretty much just a dream, or so it seemed. C# was, I understood, way too high level for anything like that.

Today it wouldn't be totally baseless to call C# the game dev industry standard.

You know that feel as a developer when you add a feature to someone's existing project and you see a shitty code. well this has to be one of the shittiest code I have seen.

select_patient:function(patient)
{
console.log(patient)
this.select_patient_index = 0;
var pending = patient.Pending;
var USER_ID_Patient = patient.ID;
var prescription_ID = patient.Prescription_ID;
if(prescription_ID == null) prescription_ID = 0;
patient.Pending = pending = parseInt(pending);
patient.Prescription_ID = prescription_ID = parseInt(prescription_ID);
patient.USER_ID_Patient = USER_ID_Patient = parseInt(USER_ID_Patient);

if(pending > 0 && prescription_ID > 0)
{
this.select_patient_index = this.list.indexOf(patient);
$('#patientContinueModal').modal('show');
return false;
}

$scope.prescription.set(patient,null);
return false;
}

Also the guy has a space in his url.
xxxxxx.com/shopping cart !

My first instinct is to poke my eyes, find the developer (if we can call him that and shove it up his ______)

First Post since... Long I guess?

I got a new project!! I am currently creating a Webserver Framework in Java. I can create fully functional websites with a few lines of JSON.
(Look below)

Currently I don't have direct Javascript support, but I am working on installable modules. With those the Web-Admin can code little code fragments that can be shown (live) on the webpage.

I am so hyped because it does work <3

(Pictures of development might follow)

(Can I even call it framework? Hm dunno.. )

getting part time job as a "junior web developer" while doing my uni, things go well at first. Now my profession is, senior web developer ... and database administrator, and server admin, and the one who call for hotfixes, and who code js for frontend, while under paid because I am still "a college student" ..

// example.json
{ "hasCustomerAgreedToTermsAndConditions": no }

Slightly irritated by my IDEs warning, I squinted back at my code. It took me a second too long to spot my mistake. First, I was baffeld at my own incompetence. Then I grew defensive about it. "Why not?!" I thought. "Less typing, so efficient, so much time saved, so wow!"

I realized at that moment, that it was probably best to call it a day and go to bed.

And so I did.

I don’t know if I would call it a quirk of the language or serious abuse of it :P

But I managed to get a null ref exception when comparing a local int variable to an int parameter to the same function in C#.

Since a local or parameter of type in cannot be null and I compared the variables them self and dud not try to access any property on them (and no extension method or implicit case or similar) my first thought, along with all colleagues that chipped in to help, was that this should not be possible.

Turns out the method was called through reflection and in that part it injected null as the base object to call the method on.

Since local variables actually are referenced through the parent object this was what was causing the null ref.

That took some time to figure out.

!rant

Well after a few really downer and shitty weeks, I think I just struck gold...

First I had trouble getting a new job but was contacted personally for a full time position as a printer and copier serviceman which entrails me getting my own company car, new phone and maybe new laptop and the same day I got a call about my phone that was getting repaired, I was expecting to pay around $400+ for the repair,. nope, the repairer paid for a new phone and gave me a brand new one back, even got the latest model revision too!

Shit turned around quick for me! :-D

If you’re a Russian ux engineer who is present in a Russian ux community and you fucking make your form validate on change event and that leads to the situation when a user starts entering their email and your bouba form immediately throws WRONG EMAIL errors, we don’t call you a bouba.

We call you a ебанок (ebanok) — a small, stupid and miserable creature that you can only feel hatred mixed with disgust towards.

This shit is acceptable if you’re an intern making their first shy steps creating their own personal project, but if you push this to production, you’re a ebanok. If you don’t know how to do ux, just use server-side validation or display errors with alerts on submit.

You fucking ebanok.

Got my first job. I get to work at a call center. (^^)

In my first place there was a guy, we'll call him S.
So S. was not very popular, he had an intimidating look all the time, wore workout dryfit clothes and seldomly smelt like he didn't take a shower in quite a long time. He has an iOS developer on my team. He was blazingly smart and called every code he saw garbage. Nice guy indeed :)

He was a fine guy after you got to know him and get accustomed to his weirdness... Smelly nonetheless :)

I've published my first app on the Play Store! Does this mean I get to call myself a developer now? 🤔

*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?

THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY

True Story:

first thing I did today: got my tickets for a meat raffle at my friend's church.

second thing I did: took a call from the tech recruiter at PETA.

Started a job as a full stack developer. My first task was shocking! Do these small edits on this backend script that collects stuff from one database and edits the entries in another... piece of cake so far!

Here is the project on the TFS...
HOLD ON! IS THIS VISUAL BASIC?!!
I came here to do .Net framework development and .Net Standard... I wasn’t told that there will be VB, I have never used vb.net before.

Now... that I’m going to maintain this script in the future, I decided to rewrite it in C#, few things I learned on my journey of doing this:
1- There is an access modifier in VB called Friend
2- There is a data structure/type called Collection, it’s a value,key pair! Not key value pair... Value first, then key!!
3- Do you know how null is null everywhere?!! In VB they call it Nothing! Yes, as in...
if(myVar == nothing)
{
//stuff
}
Asking the guy responsible for that choice... he thinks VB is easier to read than C#
I DONT WANT YOU TO READ IT, I WANT IT TO MAKE SENSE AND WORK WITH THE REST OF THE C# CODE WE HAVE!!

Let's call this a !rant haha

Yesterday and today are my last days at this company, and for some unexplainable reason, every bug that I've been assigned is been easy to fix, every junit that I've written has passed at the first time!

Damn, best last days ever XD

RANT

We use Exact for our time sheets/hour tracking. How it's supposed to work:
-Manager plans my hours in Exact.
- I work those hours on the given projects
== All fine till here ==
But then ... there is a button (don't know the correct translation) "realise" which books the planned hours for me. So I don't have to do it manually.

This simply didn't work!! No one seem to know why not... Not even the guys at Exact.

Since it's web based I opened the developers window and looked for the call behind the button. You would think it would be at least an Ajax call thingy (I'm not completely into JS)
Turns out it's a readable JS function!

It doesn't stop there... It first makes all calculations on what to display, at last, at the fucking end, it checks a setting whether to proceed the booking or not!!!!

So I found and switched the setting and tried the button again.... Now it fucking works...

No fucking way I am going to tell Exact what the problem is 😫

Q: Why was the function sad after a successful first call?

A: It didn’t get a callback.

Coworker wanted to explain something to me on a discord call just when I grabbed a bowl of milk and cereal.

It's all soft and mushy now 😔

On another note, today was my first day on the job 😁

My first dev job evolved from an internship and ended with me screaming “fuck” at people for a few months until they finally got sick of it and gave me the boot. It was a fair call 😂

Created a simple bot for an online game using puppeteer.

After an evening (and night) of dev and debugging (quite some rejected promise errors), it worked fine and was ready for a 10-minutely cron job.

Fixed a couple bugs in the first three hours. Then started playing minecraft, which lagged like hell.

Opened task manager and saw a list of about 25 headless chrome processes. They had not been closed because of unhandled errors before the close method call 😵

Now added some basic error handling ☺

Somebody please explain.

First I get some call about some investing bs, then I get an automated voice call also about something financial related

From fucking +000000

ok so first post, i would like to say whoever the fuck decided <!----!> was gonna be comments in html, i fucking hate you. not only is it the most ugly comments system out of any language i know, but its so unusable to type out, i'd rather call <script> just to be able to put it in // half the time (if i ever use comments, i rarely do) python its one single character, js its 2 which yeah is kinda annoying but atleast its 2 of the same so i dont have to reach across the fucking keyboard, here comes html the language most devs need nowadays to promote a project at least saying reach across your entire keyboard to fucking write a comment.

I just remembered an annoying experience I once had,

Wanted to know cli version asap (due to some bug introduced in a certain version):

-v (output: view --help for command)
--version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: -version)

Wanted to know it's dependency version:

-version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: version)

You could call me lazy for not always typing --help first but there must be a standard for this time sensitive command.

A random story that just popped back into my head while reading another rant:

Long ago, we developed our own webmail platform at the request of clients. After it was finished, it was never updated and eventually turned into an outdated insecure steaming pile of crap. Up until ~2015, it looked like the first iteration of AOL Mail from the 1990s (and it functioned as such too.) Years, we decided to sunset the platform, and allotted 6-months or so to transition all the active users off the platform and over to an alternative email provider. We had to call each client multiple times and send multiple emails with a deadline detailing when the service would be shut down, and we'd explain that if they didn't transition over to a new service and transfer all their emails before that date, then the emails would be lost forever. Lo and behold, a handful of clients ignored our repeated contact attempts, and we shut down their email service (as we told them that we would.) Of course, they called screaming and panicking "OUR EMAIL IS DOWN OUR EMAIL IS DOWN WE'RE LOSING MONEY FIX IT NOW!!!!," and we told them "We attempted to contact you multiple times, and you neglected to return our numerous calls or emails. We're happy to help you transition your old email addresses to this new provider, but because you neglected to follow the cushy deadline we provided you, all of your emails are gone."

Of course, they denied having ever received our calls/emails, and we'd have to provide them with our outgoing call recordings to prove that we did in fact contact them multiple times. Then they'd blame the mishap on their secretary, who would blame it on the intern, who would blame it on the IT guy, who would blame it on the janitor, and so on and so forth.

Moral of the story: always keep outgoing call recordings when you're sunsetting a product.

Skype password lost -> reset email -> new password given -> login failed on skype client -> login via website -> invalid password -> reset password -> first enter code by email -> done -> assign new password -> login via password -> someone else is using your account, you have to change the password -> first ensure you are you by enter a code -> code entered -> change password -> password changed -> finally login works
Way to go Microsoft!

so I just changed my password 3 times in the last 5 minutes to get access to skype... for a call we finally made via whatsapp... now I will remove skype again until next year, when I have to make that famous "once a year" call with skype

My first job was 3 years ago.
I was tasked to create feature updates for a referral system.
There were two programmers in that project , both had left the company before I started.
There left no documentation whatsoever. They gave me a copy of user manual as my guide. HAHA!
Half of the code was in code igniter framework(wasn't even familiar with it then), the other half was hard coded.
It was a total nightmare. Wish I had the guts to call it quits then and there. XD

Still looking for my first full-time dev role. After being endlessly rejected from every dev job I've applied for, it starts to eat away at your confidence. Makes me wonder if I'm not as competent as I believe I am. :/

Fortunately, I landed a coding interview with Google! It is my dream job to work at Google, so the fact that they even acknowledged me & my skillset makes me so happy and reaffirms my belief in my capabilities. :D

It's pretty odd, that after applying to 20+ open Google positions relevant to my skill level & location and often with references included, then having been rejected from all of them, that I finally got a chance with them when one of their recruiters found me on LinkedIn and liked what she saw. I cleared the screening call, and made it to the first coding interview.

Of course, even with all the interview prep I've done, it was all practically for naught since they caught me off guard with a crazy conceptual problem anyway. (Well, actually, was I 'caught off guard' if I was already expecting to be caught off guard? o.0) I struggled heavily in the first half of the interview, but found my footing towards the end. So I knew I screwed up and that it was highly unlikely for me to get the job.

Nonetheless, Google had the decency to reject me not via an automated email, but through an actual direct phone call with my recruiter. (The cruelty of the automated application rejection system in our society is a whole rant of its own, for another time.) My recruiter told me that they felt I wasn't ready but they liked what they saw, so they will be revisiting me in exactly a year to reconsider me.

To know that I wasn't fully rejected, and that my dream company Google sees real potential in me, is highly reassuring. It means I'm not a lost cause; I simply need to keep looking. Google will want me more strongly once I have the experience that comes from a fresh grad's first full-time job.

So after fucking around with me and promising me that I'd be first call if a position opened up but then hiring someone who didn't even show up for there previous interview, one of them messaged me saying a local ISP is looking to fill customer support positions...

Ho ho ho ho! Fuck you buddy! :-D

Got let go / fired today. I was still on my probation period, but they are going to pay me out for the next 2 weeks.

My boss wasn't even in the call "because he's in a sales meeting".

You know you are being let go when you don't have access to any company passwords, and they don't assign you any new work.

Well, onto something new. But first going to relax and catch up on my sleep.

!rant

I've been posting "dev logs", if you can call them that, to YouTube every now and then as I make progress with this funny little app I'm making. They're just videos of me testing something in the app with background music.

But today, someone was interested enough in my terrain generation, to ask for a tutorial, and I got my first subscriber!

Everything's coming up Milhouse!

You know what you shouldnt do? Leave your bag with your work laptop at the stairs.

Woke up as normal today and helped the kids down the stairs without checking. Then I just heard how I stepped on something.

Lets say its a big crack in the middle of the screen and you see shit. But gladly it work with work with external screens so its just the screen that are damaged. So tomorrow I must either:

- Work as normal with an external monitor and simply wait to call the boss for fix until after christmas.

- Or call the boss and tell him how stupid I am and hope its okay and I van get a new one/fix this.

Right now I feel for the first one.

I am seeing a trend on here, where people dismiss a technology based upon their experience that they cannot use it first try, even though they clearly lack experience or knowledge about the proper usage.

Also people seemingly tend to imply self explanatory at various topics ranging from relatable broadly known experiences to small nieche opinions.

How is that? Since when do people, especially programmers, think they do not need to explain their viewpoint, even though there is not a clear indicator as to why? Stating an opinion without any backup to the claim is just a void call in the wind. Of course i know that user X thinks that Y is his or her opinion. But what good does it do when i can't relate / understand or discuss this opinion?

I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.

*background: client has told account manager he's not paying any more money till his site is done, not only is it the most in-depth WordPress site we've made, but we'll beyond the scope of the signed contract. He sent a few more edits over the weekend which I ignored because we have a team meeting later to discuss he client and where to go from here.

account manager comes in and says he has a call from client looking for me. I tell him that he should probably take a message as I'm not in the mood to be belittled by the client and we have a meeting later to discuss him anyways, we'll call him back.

AM: Come on, he says it'll only take a second and I'll be here so we can do it on speaker.

he transfers the call and we start talking in my office, before the client has even finished his first remark, the AM has left the room. Now we have the least social person in the office talking to the client when both parties are less than happy.

I managed to keep my cool and not tell the client to fuck off, and made sure I was clear about not promising any of his new edits.

Phrases like "that will take time and money" were used a lot.

There may be shots fired at the meeting later.

Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee

If you call yourself a developer or consider yourself part of the IT world and at the same time complain about software updates (all those dumb windows update rants) then do one of the following:
1- write a multi -million line of code OS that runs on virtually unlimited number of PC configurations and hardware and get the code right the first time with no major bugs, no security vulnerabilities, and a consistently fast and stable performance.

Or...
2- stop calling yourself a dev, or part of the IT world.

If the last 2 options are unreasonable, unachievable, or unfathomable.... Then stop bitching about software updates.

I label all packages I know are coming as being for a company: Derp Industries. This is from an old in-joke between my friends and I. This tells me whether a package was something I ordered or not from the label (as I often forget I have a package coming.) However, I just got a call from a DHL driver asking me how long we'll be open. I, uh... I told him we close at 8. He said that's perfect, as he has to pick up from the local holding station at 5 and i'm his first stop.

I'm tempted to call back and tell him I'm just a dude living in a trailer...

In Rx, what is the point of returning Single for all of our networking request responses, if every call to that method, first of all converts it to an Observable so that it can use flatMap, filters, combineLatest etc.

I get that Observable's have more overhead, Single can only return once, thats all clear. But is it not MORE overhead to create a Single, return it, convert it and now have the Observable we were trying to avoid in the first place.

I don't know if its just Rx I don't like, or how the team here is using it. But it is pissing me off, to no end, how massively overly complicated this is. It really feels to me like this is following a textbook approach while ignoring all the practical details.

<rant>
Next person to say "because its the Rx way", is getting a monitor thrown at their head.
</rant>

Just signed up for this site, took me three minutes to figure out how to post a rant.

Do the designers know what a call to action is? Where in this screenshot tells me "post a rant here" or "click here to write your first" or "new rant" or even a plus symbol, pencil, paper, or any sort of symbology?

Nope. It's in a vague, almost invisible menu with a symbol of three dots that usually means "things you don't normally use might be in here". The main function of the site. Tucked away where nobody can see it.

Bad UX has no excuse in 2020.

being a dumbass and ran a blocking call then it broke and i can't kill it with ^C :/
killed it later with htop lol im so fucking dumb

also hi first post here

My first ever dev project was a website I setup with my dad, it was for my uncle's company. 😃

You can barely call it a dev project because we did it in WordPress and the only thing we touched was a bit of HTML and a bunch of CSS 😅,
but it was really fun working together with my (programmer) dad and it motivated me to study programming as well.

The site turned out ugly as fuck, but the standards for websites are very low where my uncle is from so that wasn't a problem. 😊

I earned 90€ and bought myself a new mouse (Logitech G502), which I still use now 4/5 years later. 😎

Bug on trouble ticket system:

"I get a Nullpointer when i call this REST API *stacktrace*"

- It's not a Nullpointer
- It's a problem on your client http
- *Copy message exception, paste on google, first result is the solution"

And he's a DEV!!!!!

Oh my god, GDScript is the single biggest piece of shit scripting language I have ever witnessed. It somehow manages to combine the very worst things of dynamic typing with the downsides of static typing, all in one bundle of utter shit

Imagine you have two game object scripts that want to reference each other, e.g. by calling each others methods.

Well you're outta fucking luck because scripts CANNOT have cyclic references. Not even fucking *type hints* can be cyclic between scripts. Okay no problem, since GDScript is loosely based of Python I can surely just call my method out of the blue without type hints and have it look it up by name. Nope! Not even with the inefficient as fuck `call` method that does a completely dynamic-at-runtime fuck-compile-time-we-script-in-this-bitch function call can find the function. Why? Because the variable that holds a reference to my other script is assumed to be of type Node. The very base class of everything

So not only is the optional typing colossal garbage. You cant even do a fucking dynamic function call because this piece of shit is just C++ in Pyhtons clothing. And nothing against C++ (first time I said that). At least c++ lets me call a fucking function

Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?

That has to be the first time I actually ever saw somebody call 1 billion - 1 thousand million

I wouldn't call any rejection worst.
I learnt new things everytime I had interview actually they came to me like steps of learning and when I get to know enough I got my first job :)

Friday 13th. Superstition.

0655, got WFH laptop going. 0700, VPN'ed in. Bluescreen, first in ages. Yes, Windows, the hatred is mutual. Rebooted. Windows claimed memory fault, offered check, 40 minutes. Noped out. Started machine. VPN'ed in. Some strange script error that I'd never seen before. Rebooted. Script error again. Shut down machine, then rebooted, same problem. 0715, fuck, still wearing sweaters, my e-scooter not charged, and an important Teams call at 0800.

Got dressed, stuffed laptop into backpack, hurried up by foot. Took the bus. Fuck, the next connection on the change station just had gone off. Took a taxi to make it. Arrived at the company, plugged in the laptop, started with no issues. Had the important call.

Took the laptop to IT. Tested it with external network connection and VPN. Worked with no script error. Had it checked for RAM issues. No issue. WTF had happened in the morning?!

Just found my first little game I wrote in c++ and opengl(like 5yrs ago). Need to rename over 300 file names, class names and for each class their members names and function names now because ewww how can you call vars in programming like that. Porting it to Linux now. Library linking is working yet. I remember how awful it was to do that shit in vs. In Linux its ez. Also wrote a makefile because vs always compiled my whole project every time I ran it (for whatever reason).

I think that's what I'm going to be doing as a side project this week.

My bank created a "new and improved" banking app asking me to take a selfie after first sending them a picture of my id.
I am already a customer of the bank, they have a copy of my id, why do they also want a selfie?
Also with the old banking app I could just call them from my phone number (which they also have) and they confirmed it was me over the phone by asking 2 questions and then provided me with a code to just enable the app on my personal phone.

IBM: "oh, you can't actually USE our watsonx garbage, you need to book a call first! yes thats right, waste your time before installing what is nothing more than a chatgpt plugin for VS code!"

yawn

simply iq destroying knowing companies operate like this

🤡

Why can't my team including my boss learn to stop making assumptions... And mixing seperate issues into one...

If there's a fucking production issue, first step is to reproduce it... AKA ask what the user did and what he expects....

Not...
User: hey we call this url and get an error
Dev: ok rollback

Applied in a company for a development work, as I have been a developer for some time now and want to switch jobs. The new company was larger and I had no experience of how processes work at larger companies.

I got a call and after the usual chit-chat I got asked if I would be interested in a support role. Since this was new to me I was afraid to flat-out say 'no', so I told them that I had applied to a developer role through their website. They said that theirs is a service-based company and interaction to clients is something everyone has to do. I started digging, as to why the current position is different from the one indicated on the website.
After some more conversation, the call ended.

Later I came to know from an acquaintance that there are both support and development roles at that company and since support positions are few people's "first choice" they first try all the candidates that call; those that fit into the support roles are assigned there.

Needless to say, the compensation and general nature of the support jobs is much inferior to proper development positions.

I dodged a bullet.

Had a call with my line manager today about extending a deadline to the end of the year. Given the work needed it’s a given as I’m having to pretty much refactor an entire app, plus I also suggested that I train the new guy to give him some experience as I have training and tutoring experience.

It’s the first time I’ve gone “Here’s what I want and here’s what I need for this to work” and it went smoothly.

Great day.

This is what I did today in 5 hours and 45 minutes. Documentation and optimized code inside. One method was kinda tricky but I managed to optimize it from 1,88s in the first lazy version to 35ms in the end. Now that's what I call a productive day

So was starting to get to used to and warm up to material design 2 or as I like to call it "Fischer price baby's first UI, bubble edition" and then Google fucking drop this shit for Gmail .-.

Working with a vendor's api. Every call is coming back error. Emails back and forth for two weeks, sending logs, changing settings, encoding urls...

From them: oh, this field needs to be unique.

Me: how are you just now catching that?!

The doc showed it to be a specific value. We must be their first client or something.

I was 17 and the class was tasked with programming a calculator in machine code! I was hooked went on to learn Java first, then C and C++. Now finished Uni having studied AI and Robotics and in my first job! I call myself a developer but I know there is still so much to learn in our ever changing industry!

I live in Asia, where Pinkerton Syndrome is rampant amongst the professional workforce.

I've been approached by local recruiters who love tossing the company's country of origin (usually a developed nation from the European continent) in the first sentence of an email, and beseech me to call them back ASAP, or lose the opportunity of a lifetime.

I also get condescending emails from Caucasian 'CEO/Director' (no offence meant, I know the entire demographic is never represented by sub-samples) looking to pay below average rates.

Is getting difficult to be civil with these morons.