Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

Ok so 10 yrs ago:-

Professor: Make this web front-end with blah blah blah pages.

*I create the thing and submit it*

<Next lecture i come in class and the projector is showing my website>

<I get excited that im bout to be praised for my work infront of whole class>

<I grab a seat>

Professor: I had high hopes from you. I did not expect PLAGRISM from YOU.

Me: Wwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaat the faaaaaaaaaaaaq??? Where is it which part????

Professor: Ive seen "lorem Ispem" before somewhere else. This is fucking plagrism.

<I sat 15 mins in disbelief>
<Got out of class>
<Dropped out of the course>

My classmate accidentally deleted Recycle bin shortcut from her PC, i was starring at her, she grab my pendrive, ran to libraries Computer, copied recycle bin, and pasted it in her desktop,

And last but not least... She got Job in Oracle.

7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.

Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.

Fuck.

Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.

Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.

Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.

He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.

And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.

I need a fake rock with a key under it.

Great Sunday.

@dfox thank you for sponsoring our event with goodies. I think devrant gained a few Dutchies tonight. Ive also made sure @linuxxx could grab some (yea try to spot him on the picture!).

** Non Dev Rant **

I just need to rant about this because I'm furious.

Last night I had a house warming party. It was mostly, if not all, of my girlfriend's friends. I'm a cranky old developer so I don't have friends.

Everyone was nice and dressed nice and brought us gifts.. all of the gifts were pretty much specifically for my girlfriend.

So this one girl came... she's younger.. around 25. She came with no gift (I wasn't expecting gifts I just need to mention it for the plot), and was dressed in sweat pants. Alright, no problem.. I really don't care at least she's here.

So as more guests arrive I finally get a gift. Someone brought me a case of beer and a couple of yummy cookies. I had to put it down on the kitchen counter for a bit because I needed to grab more chairs.

The basement door where the chairs are is 10 feet away from where I left my present..

I come back from upstairs.. not even 5 minutes later and I see sweat pant girl stuffing one cookie in her fucking mouth and the other in her pants...

Are you fucking kidding me!? I bought desserts and snacks and all the alcohol you can think of and you steal MY fucking present. Not just one of them... but BOTH.

She saw the other guests give me it.. say "here buddy this is for you"... followed me in the kitchen and STOLE my fucking cookies.

I was going to eat them this morning with my coffee and I realized I couldn't because this fucking ass hole took my fucking cookies!!!!

I hosted this party for my girlfriend's SJW ass hole fucked up friends... put a smile on my face... pretended to like people... and for once didn't yell at someone... and the fucking thanks I get is 2 stolen fucking cookies.

Fuck her.

Java devs: grab a drink! You'll need it after seeing this.
The "Shit students do, even after almost a year of Java lectures" saga continues...

Every day.

I am a PHP developer.

Yeah, "another PHP is awful" rant... no, not really.

It's just unsuitable for some ambitious projects, just like Ruby and Python are.

First of all, DO NOT EVER use Laravel for large enterprise applications. The same goes for RoR, Django, and other ActiveRecord MVCs.

They are all neat frameworks for writing a todo app, as a better-than-wordpress flexible blogging solution, even as a custom webshop.

Beyond 50k daily users, Active Record becomes hell due to it's lazy fat querying habits. At more than a million users... *depressed sigh*.

PHP is also completely unsuitable for projects beyond 5M lines of code in my opinion. At more than 25M lines... *another depressed sigh*.

You can let your devs read Clean Code and books about architecture patterns, you can teach them about SOLID & DRY, you can write thousands of tests... it doesn't matter.

PHP is scaffolding, it's made of bamboo and rope. It's not brick or concrete. You can build quickly, but it only scales up to a certain point before it breaks in multiple places.

Eventually you run into patterns where even 100% test coverage still doesn't guarantee shit, because the real-life edge cases are just too complex and numerous.

When you're working on a multi-party invoicing system with adapters for various tax codes, or an availability/planning system working across timezones, or systems which implement geographical routefinding coupled to traffic, event & weather prediction...

PHP, Python, Ruby, etc are just missing types.

Every day I run into bugs which could have been prevented if you could use ADTs in a generic way in PHP. PHP7 has pretty good typehints, and they prevent a lot of messy behavior, but they aren't composable. There is no way to tell PHP "this method accepts a Collection of Users", or "this methods returns maybe either an Apple or a Pear, and I want to force the caller to handle both Apple/Pear and null".

Well, you could do that, but it requires a lot of custom classes and trickery, and you have to rewrite the same logic if you want to typehint a "Collection of Departments" instead of "Collection of Users" -- i.e., it's not composable.

Probably the biggest issue is that languages with a (mostly) structural type system (Haskell, Rust, even C#/JVM languages to some degree, etc) are much slower to develop in for the "startup" era of a project, so you grab a weak, quick prototyping language to get started.

Then, when you reach a more grown up phase, you wish you had a better type system at your disposal...

Grab some popcorn

So I'm working on a computer vision project that grabs video from my webcam and detects faces in each frame. Earlier yesterday morning I was capping out at 30 frames per second, which is what I believe to be the max for my webcam. As the day became night and I was wrapping up my work on a portion of the project, I noticed that my newly compiled version was only getting around 8 frames per second. Confused, I looked into my frame grabbing + face detection code.

"Maybe I can only detect faces in a certain region of the image, based on where the face was in the previous image?" No, still 8fps. Hmm.

"How about I lower the resolution of the image, that would definitely help!" I tried that, but no speed boost came either. What??

I start to dig deeper. Maybe I'm not linking my libraries correctly, and it's using an older library I compiled. So I recompile that. Nothing.

"Am I low on resources?" I close out of all my other apps. Nothing.
Okay, wtf. Now I just comment out the face detection code entirely, and only grab webcam frames.

8fps. ?????

Suddenly, I get an idea. I get out of my desk, walk over to the doorway of my room, and flip the light on. I sit back down, and run my code.

30fps.

The stupid webcam switches to "night mode" when it detects low light, which restricts its ability to output frames at high speed and caps at 8fps. Damn, I felt like a fool 😂

Navy story time again. Grab that coffee and fire up Kali, the theme is security.
So, when I got promoted to Lieutenant Jr. I had to attend a 1-year school inside my nostalgic Naval Academy... BUT! I was wiser, I was older... and I was bored. Like, really bored. What could go wrong? Well, all my fellow officers were bored too, so they started downloading/streaming/torrenting like crazy, and I had to wait for hours for the Kali updates to download, so...
mdk3 wlan0mon -d
I had this external wifi atheros card with two antennae and kicked all of them off the wifi. Some slightly smarter ones plugged cables on the net, and kept going, enjoying much faster speeds. I had to go to the bathroom, and once I returned they had unplugged the card. That kind of pissed me off, since they also thought it would be funny to hide it, along with the mouse.
But, oh boy, they had no idea what supreme asshole I can be when I am irked.
So, arpspoof it is. Turns out, there were no subnetworks, and the broadcast domain was ALL of the academy. That means I shut EVERYONE off, except me. Hardware was returned in 1 minute with the requested apologies, but fuck it, I kept the whole academy off the net for 6 hours. The sysadmin ran around like crazy, because nothing was working. Not even the servers.
I finally took pity on the guy (he had gotten the duties of sysadmin when the previous sysad died, so think about that) and he almost assaulted me when I told him. As it turned out, the guy never had any training or knowledge on security, so I had to show him a few things, and point him to where he could study about the rest. But still, some selective arp poison on select douchebags was in order...
Needless to say, people were VERY polite to me after that. And the net speed was up again, so I got bored. Again. So I started scanning the net.
To be continued...

00:00: Yeah I'll change that now, it'll only take 5 minutes.

00:05: well that's done, better do this too though before I forget.

02:20: well that escalated quickly.. Better grab 3 hours sleep while I can.

04:00: Fuck.

Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.

Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:

- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.

I wanted to copy some backup data over again:

1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.

2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.

3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.

4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.

5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.

This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.

FUCK.

!rant
After knocking off from work, I went to nearby Coffee shop to grab a Coffee. I met a girl and we started talking about our day. She asked me to do her a favor and take a look at her laptop, it’s been playing up for sometime now. So, I went. She took me to her bedroom where the laptop was, and the conversation continued on topic romance, sex and girlfriend. You know what happened next…Yes.

For the first time in my life I fixed a hot cheeks computer and got laid.

What was wrong? There was a malware in her computer which was opening random websites.

You guys ever spent a longer period of time on finding a bug and once you found it, first go grab a coffee/snack to allow that bug some final moments?

Like some sick kind of power play along the lines of “I will fix you at a time and location of my choosing”

Couldn't sleep last night. Spent about 5 hours laying down reading devRant.

Mom calls taxi to go shopping. I'm starving so I go with her. The only reason I went was to get food.

Half way there, so tired I could fall asleep while standing.

I order my food. Walk to bus stop. An hour until next bus. Fuck it, I'll get a taxi.

Phone slips out of pocket while in taxi. Goes under seat. Can't grab a hold of it.

Driver says you can just get it from the back before you leave. It will be easier. I put my food down infront of me. And try one last time.

He then spends the entire trip telling me how all these customers keep leaving shit in his car, etc. Meanwhile we almost got into 2 accidents. Anyway...

So we get to my house, I pay. I get out and get my phone. I walk inside the house. Open devRant.

Wait, where's my food?

Her: I like a man who lives dangerously
Me: I sold a game to my client without debugging it
Her: grab a mop

I find it super annoying, this trend where no one wants to write learning documentation anymore, but instead put up a bunch of demo videos and video "training courses."

I don't want to spend 5 minutes watching you do something that would take me 10 seconds to read. I can't search for terms in your video, and I can't use them as a general reference manual. I can't go at my own pace, easily keep my place between devices, enter code as you go, the list of cons goes on and on.

I would rather pay you money for a good eBook (and no, PDFs don't count), than to have the only realistic way to learn about your software be a playlist on your YouTube channel.

This, however, this...

Went to check out Ansible again, because I've heard good things lately and it's been a couple years since I've looked at it.

Took me a while to find their docs because there's almost no mention of anything on the home page except trying Tower for free.

Found the docs. The first item there is the Quick Start Video and I think, "Cool. That's a good use of video, showing off the product."

I dig out some headphones, click play:

"Ansible is a powerful" BOOM!

Enter my email to watch the video?!

Ah, forget it. Maybe I'll see you next time, Ansible.

(tl:dr at the bottom)
context:
my partner programming skills are pretty basic and he does not work in software development. instead he is in the largest (and only) electricity company here.
history:
one day his boss ask him "hey, do you know how to use google maps?"
Partner: "yeah, what do u need?"
His boss: "great! please make 10,000 routes with these coordinates, i need them for tomorrow"
Partner: "WTF!" ,grab his phone and call me, "(explains me te situation) dude, can you make like a script or something?"
Me: "Sure, but we'll need a loooot of coffee"
We spent 18 hours developing a routes generator with java-fx, mysql and JS.
Next day we went to deliver those routes and to "show" the system. They told us that after searching for 6-7 months, they wasnt able to find such a solution as ours.
Next day, I took a plane to this company HQ (My partner was food-sick, so i had to be there by my own), had a meeting with the TOP Bosses (on of them arrived in a Helicopter, lots of body-guards) and after a 3-4 hours, just like that, we had our first Big Contract with a huge ass company.

tl;dr:
we ended making an 8 months national project with the biggest and only electricity company with an 18hrs-developed system.

Radio Shack store closed near my house. Had a huge fire sale. Electric circuit components were 90% off.
My wife thought I'd gone insane when I got home with two huge bags full of LEDs, resistors, switches, IR sensors, photocells, capacitors, bridge rectifiers, a spare breadboard, a pair of helping hands, etc.
My only regret is that I didn't catch the fire sale in time to grab all their Arduinos.

OMFG
Waking up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling in my ear and noises. Started shaking the head, which did nothing except panicking because of intensifying scratch noises in my head.
Getting the fear to be eaten inside out.
Get the phone and call sister to get me to the doc but her phone is powered off. Starting to Google "consequences of an cockroach in your ear", reading this is not as bad as I thought and that some people do not even realize it !??
Laying down for 3 minutes in the dark, *heating up and feeling my pulse* hoping it will crawl out. Which obviously did not fucking happened, this sucker just squatted my ear.
So I go to the bathroom and start filling up the tub. While it is filling up, I Google "how to get cockroach out of your ear". Finding an article that you should pour oil in your ear to suffocate the squatter. So I go to the kitchen, grab my sunflower oil, go to the mirror and start pouring. I am starting to shine like a bodybuilder and hear the noises again. After what felt like an eternity, I hear even more scratching in my head, this is the moment I do half a headbang and *wush* *flap* something hit the ground. I look down in the hope it wasn't just the sunflower oil and see this little thing which is clearly a cockroach. I am fucking relieved, not hearing any noises anymore.

There have been so many low quality posts lately, ugh. They’re almost all poor attempts at humor in a pathetic grab for internet points, and many showcase a distinct lack of understanding.

Where are the rants?
Where is the competence?
Where is the anger?
Where is the rage?
... Where is the effort?

Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!

So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.

Him: So what are u going to show me?

Me: A walk through of the app.

Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)

Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.

Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)

Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"

Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!

Me: (smiling) Yes!!

Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--

Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.

Him: If u leave, ur done!!

Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)

Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!

Me: Happy 😁😁😁

It's time for another teacher story. So grab a cup of tea and listen.

We were casually talking about Arduino programming because he told me he teaches this in another class.
Teacher: it's so sad that i can't use my java code on the Arduino. I mean the Arduino uses java so there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: *internal* HOLD THE FUCK ON
Me: you know that the Arduino uses c and not java, do you?
Teacher: but the Arduino can do java commands! How do you explain this!?
Me: because java uses the c-syntax and it's more of a coincidence that they're named the same way?
Teacher: huh. Ok. But C# doesn't use it, am i right?

How can someone this dumb be a programming teacher 🤦

Do you really expect that I can debug in a few minutes, a part of the software that I didn't build and have never seen before and have no knowledge of the external, third-party web service that code is reaching out to?

Dude, flippin' chill, take a walk, grab a drink, pop some popcorn and give me some time to figure out what the hell this code is doing so I can properly debug it!

You know what it turned out to be? Wrong test data used for the 3rd party service. So in essence... Nothing was wrong! Frickity frack!

11:45am: "Ok one more issue to fix and then I can take a nice long break and relax a little bit. My next meeting isn't until 2.

12:45pm: "Well this issue is taking longer than expected but that's okay. I can grab lunch and still relax a little bit."

1:59pm starving, thirsty and really need to pee and can only choose one. Oh, and the issue still isn't fixed: "god dammit."

Got to grab some coffee at my job and found that mug

- No I wont give you a ballpark estimate.
- No I wont grab a cup of coffee to discuss your idea
- No I wont check out your existing app/website

I'm a professional and my time is actually what I'm selling. If you want me to spend my time on you then you better spend yours to persuade me.

Send me a brief, your research on competitors, your roadmap, a deck, whatever. I'll probably won't read any of it. But at least I'll now that you you mean business and you value and respect my time.

Why the fuck cant people keep their hands to them selves???
I had a fucking moron come up to my desk, say "cool toy!", grab it and play with it.
For him that was fine....

I on the other hand wanted to stub that mother fucker to death and feed his organs to his kids.

That mother fucker grubbed my probe holder, shorted out an 8k$ evb and failed my 12 hours hardware test.

Had a discussion with a developer about security. His software transfers all user data (password and files) unencrypted, so anyone can grab them with wireshark. I told him that this is a severe issue. He said no its no problem because if you get hacked its your own fault, because you probably used an insecure network. NO ! YOU FUCKING MALADJUSTED SHEEP-MOLESTING OBJECT OF EXECRATION, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ENCRYPT SENSITIVE USERDATA NO MATTER WHAT NETWORK YOU USE. FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY.
Not implementing encryption is one thing but then acting like its no problem is a fucking nother one. Why do people not understand that security of userdata is important???

Oh, you want to grab the scroll bar? How about I resize your window instead?

Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?

Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.

Customer: ...Okay...

Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.

Customer: I like that, let's do it!

Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?

VueJS FTW!

Today I realised I've been a fucking idiot.
For the last few years I have familiarized myself with libraries like React, VueJS, Preact etc.

All while playing around on my own side projects but when it came to doing actual work (perhaps from a lack of confidence/working experience with them) I always reverted to vanilla js or jQuery because I convinced myself it wasn't the `right` use case or `the project was too simple or small`.

I WAS AN IDIOT.

The below screenshot is a prototype of a n invoicing tool I needed to write which uses VueJS and is implemented in 50 beautiful, clean, maintainable loc. Combined with TypeScript it is a dream - never did I think I would see the day where I could grab an inputs numerical value without prepending the variable with + so I don't end up concatenating them as strings.

If your like me and haven't started using some kind of data binding view framework stop procrastinating and just do it. I feel like I wasted a large chunk of my life clinging onto my old ways.

Fuck applications which repeatedly try to grab focus while starting up in the background. Yes, I clicked your little icon, you attention whore. But I'll fucking alt-tab to you when *I* am ready.

Once upon a time as a developer for Palm handhelds I wrote an application in C which had to print via a Bluetooth printer.
When connected by wire everything was perfect, switching to BT it kept crashing for weeks without me finding the source of the problem.
Then came the day of my companies summer party. I've been the last guy to sit in front of the PC, investigating my problem, when at about 9 PM my boss came and told me, I should grab something to eat. So I went down, drank three beer and got back to work.
At about 9:45 PM the damn wrong * was replaced by the correct & and everything was fine.

PointerIssuesSolvedByBeer++;

Time to change my skills from PHP developer to AI researcher, Blockchain engineer and grab some thousand dollars deal on Freelancer

FUCK WEB DEVELOPMENT.

Seriously, what the hell. Things evolve so goddamn fast and someone new to the field can’t even grab something to start with. Once you start understanding something it fuckin changes and something else takes it’s place.

Fuck this shit, I’m out.

Best part of working from home? Oh boy, here I go

1. NO COMMUTE !! Fuck public transport. I can just grab my laptop straight to my bed, get comfortable and work in whatever posture I wish to.

2. Relaxation and peace of mind. The local park, library, football ground. I can go anywhere to get work done. All I need is my phone and laptop.

3. Better food - I can cook my own food. Dieting actually works by eating home-made food and not the fried bullshit we eat outside.

4. No office politics - Remote working means you don't have to think about being a circle and getting liked or not. Get your work done and that's it.

5. No "Extra" Activities - We all know HRs are just bored af people making employees have "fun" activities just to push a "culture" agenda on LinkedIn. Umm no thanks.

6. No toxicity - Well, this one is a doozie, you don't get workplace toxicity but you do get home toxicity. People assuming that you stay in ur room all day and do nothing. I'd still take home toxicity though.

7. If there is no work, I don't have to pretend that I am working and hiding my screen from my boss. I can just play video games in that time.

8. Option to start a side-hustle. You have more chances to retain some energy after your shift to start investing/putting time into something that can make you extra cash.

9. Worldwide opportunities - Because of WFH, I work with clients from Netherlands, Estonia, London and Cayman Islands. It never would have happened if I was in an office job.

10. Only work, no extra bullshit - be it smoke breaks, casual tea, conferences, work summits etc. None of that and I don't want it.

11. Your errands get done - Need to go to the dentist at 10 am? You can do that. Need to pick up your kid at 3 pm? You can do that. You need 5 pm time dedicated to go the gym? You can do that.

In conclusion, I absolutely vouch for WFH and would never take WFO for as long as possible.

WFH FTW !!!

A Monday morning poem

I enter the bureau, feeling all relaxed and well,
my colleague looks up:
"Abandon all hope, welcome to hell."

This indeed, he doesn't say,
his face only twists a little in dismay:
"I need that schematic, did you finish it yet?
And there also some tests I'd like to get -
how was your week-end by the way?"
I start my computer, don't remember what I say ...

I grab some coffee, half a day is gone,
the PM pressures: "I want that asap done!"
I am cluttered in tasks and bullshit, too:
"Go fuck you right now - yes, I meant you!"

I don't say what I like to, I mentally punch a wall,
I crank some more code out and git-commit it all.
Some devRant on the lunch-break, some shallow talk,
I leave the building and take a short walk.

My mind rotates, I cannot enjoy the scenery now,
I return to my desk, and figure out what to handle and how.
But my plans are crashed by a colleague dashing in:
"I need you to do a test setup! I need to begin -"

I do the setup, I do some other stuff,
At the end of the day I feel totally rough,
Work is piling up even more -
"Tomorrow", I think and close the door.

At home, I just flop on on my bed -
I should be learning instead ... -
with some pizza and chill.
I think about sleeping, I hope that I will.

...

It is now Friday,
my brain is fried, too.
I am finished with this poem - how about you? :)

What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.

guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"

I've been working exclusively from home for over 2 years now. I've been seeing several posts from people talking about adjusting to working from home, so I figured I would compile a list of tips I've learned over the years to help make the adjustment easier for some people.

1) Limit as many distractions as possible. WFH makes it much easier to get distracted. If you have roommates/family members at home, ask them politely to leave you alone while you're working. Make sure the TV is turned off, put your phone on silent, etc.

2) Take regular breaks. I find it easier to accidentally go hours without taking a real break from work. Try working in half hour intervals, and then taking 5-10 minute breaks. Read an article, watch a youtube video, grab some coffee/tea, etc.

3) When you eat lunch, eat it away from your computer. I often find myself eating lunch trying to wrap up fixing a bug, which makes it feel like I never really "took a lunch." Lately I've been trying to step away and do something else completely unrelated to work.

4) Get ready for work like you normally would. It's very easy to wake up, throw on your favorite pair of sweats and sit at the computer with messy hair half awake "ready" to start the day. Instead try doing your normal morning routine before sitting at your computer. It will help your mind and body go into "it's time to work" mode.

5) Keep your work area clean. I find it very difficult to work when my workspace is cluttered. Studies have shown working in a messy place tend to make us less efficient.

6) Keep your work area work related. Try to only have the things you need for work in your workspace. If you're working from your personal computer this can be difficult. I always end up with camera/music equipment left over from the previous night's photo editing/jam sessions. So try to clean off your desk when you're done for the night so it's ready for work in the morning.

7) Prepare for meetings. I have alarms set 10 minutes in advance so I can go from programming mode to meeting mode. During this time I'll go to the bathroom, grab a snack, water, mute all my email notifications, close any non essential programs, get my code ready if I need to present it.

Stuff is hard & stressful right now, but hopefully these tips will make it a bit easier. If anyone else has any good tips please share them.

People: I will never put one of those smart speakers in my home! You're basically just putting in a microphone that will spy on you!

Also People: Hang on I have to grab my phone/high-fidelity microphone/high resolution camera/GPS tracker/Data Aggregator and make sure I have it with me literally everywhere I go, because who knows when I will want to comment on a cute picture of a cat!?

I hear my intern yelling at Cortana in the other room. "Cortana, open keyboard!". He repeats this 5+ times. Issue is there is no keyboard connected so he just wants to use the on screen keyboard, and thinks Cortana will open it for him. Issue is the computer isn't hooked up to the Internet, and Cortana does not do that command without the internet.

Just grab a fucking keyboard!!!

Go grab at your nearest Apple Stores 🤗

Technology never stops to amaze me.

I bought hdmi stick with nes emulator, connected it to power using usb on my tv directly no power adapter needed - only cable, it has 2 remote pads powered by batteries, all fits into my pocket and it has removable sdcard that I can connect to my computer and upload games.
I can go to someone’s house, bring up this little fella and we can play games together. It only took 40 years to do it.

Damn I remember playing, mario, contra or micro machines as a kid.

Spent 8+ hours playing great old games already lol.

I just need portable 60 inch tv screen or projection screen and battery that would power it for at least 8 hours and fit to my pocket and my life is complete.

Imagine you go to the bar, sit, grab a beer and play mario with random people all night.

Thinking of auto adding ‘you dumb fuck’ to every email I send to a client. Fucking useless time wasting bastards.
Example: I’ve forgotten my password for the cms can you send me a link to reset it.

The login page has a link clearly labelled ‘forgot password?’.

I send a screen grab with a big red circle around the link and some polite text, which I was desperate to add ‘you dumb fuck’

> be me
> spend 0.02 Ether (about €5) on one of those old-school MUD-style games
> send to the same Ethereum wallet from a previous purchase
> realize that the destination wallet changes for each purchase (probably to mitigate the fact that transaction history and contents in Ethereum wallets is entirely public)

> send an email to the game dev asking to return the transaction or pass it on to my player account
> *cricket noises*

About a week later, i.e. now:
*checks that Ethereum account that I accidentally sent that transaction to*
> $0 on it, transaction has been withdrawn

Now I couldn't care less about the €5 - it's only 2 beers worth - but what I do care about is honesty. Dear Chat Wars admin, that money wasn't yours. Also, I am one of those players that plays very few games but tends to commit to those I do play. The last one I played, I spent several hundreds of euros on over the couple of years I played it. I could've probably paid for your servers, spare time development and then some. But obviously not anymore. Choosing a quick grab of €5 over a relatively steady source of income from someone that tends to financially support what he likes... Re-evaluate your life choices.

Just like that incident with the stolen flash drive that was worth only €10... I couldn't care less about the raw value of them, but I do feel very disappointed in humanity when people go for a quick grab of such worthless things.

Doing linguistic research where I need to parse 2000 files of a total of 36 GB. Since we are using python the first thing I thought was to implement multi threading. Now I changed the total runtime from three days to like one day and a half. But then when I checked the activity monitor I saw only 20 percent of the CPU usage. After a searching process I started to understand how multi threading and multi processing works. Moral of the story: if you want to ping a website till they block you or do easy tasks that will not use up all power of one core, do multi thrading. If you need to do something complicated that can easily consume all the powers of a single CPU core, split up the work and do multi processing. In my case, when I tried to grab information from a website, I did multi thrading since the work is easy and I really wanted to pin the website 16 times simultaneously but only have 4 cores. But when it come to text processing which a single file will take 80 percent of cpu, split it up and do multi processing.

This is just a post for those who are confused with when to use which.

I just realized why you should never help people with tech problems, at least for free.

I went to grab the rent from a family that lives in my grandma's childhood home.

The father asks me if I could have a look at their new internet connection because it doesn't open any pages on the browser.

After fiddling for about an hour and a half trying every trick in the book and gently explaining to his children how everything is supposed to work (kids need to learn how these machines work imho) I ask him to give me his service provider number and confirmed that indeed the problem was that the connection wasn't activated on their side. Installed chrome, set the date,/time because it wouldn't sync and told them twice how to get past the certificate problem should some page not open. Smiles all around, all is well.

Fast forward next to next morning and I get a call from the guy telling me his internet doesn't work because he pulled out the power cable for whatever reason. I instruct him to restart the router just to be sure and then ask him what's on the screen. Turns out it was the certificate problem. I try as best I can explaining and reminding him how to get past but he doesn't understand. He goes on asking me to "come over for 5minutes and have a look at it". I politely tell him that just the trip is half an hour and that I am currently in the middle of exams to finish university. His tone becomes increasingly passive aggressive as I tell him again that it's isn't possible for me to make the time for a one hour round trip at the moment. Hangs up with a grim "right right whatever you say."

First time I was genuinely angry at a person being both so ungrateful after helping them and not even trying to fix something after I took the time to explain it to them.

Manager: "Can we get an accurate report on how many containers we have on the Kubernetes cluster?"

Me: "Well not really since Kubernetes is designed to be dynamic and agile with the number of resources and containers being created and deleted being subject to change at a moment's notice."

Manager: "I want numbers"

Me: "Okay well if we look at a simple moving average over time, we can see how the number of containers changes and then grab a rough answer from that"

Manager: "These numbers look a little round, are you sure these are exact?"

I'm going to throw myself into a pile of used heroin needles and hope i get stuck with whatever the hell this guy has to somehow be a manager while also being this retarded.

TL;DR — Never ever use work chat to gossip about work. NEVER.

—

Just some minutes ago, my boss asked a mate to move aside from his computer and began checking out some docs.

By the tone he used, I assumed something was wrong, I stood from my workplace and went to grab something from the kitchen. Came back and he was looking through a thread in slack between a mate and another work mate.

I thought he was going to send something to himself but then he asked me if I could help printing out the screen. Took a quick look and they were talking shit about him.

Now, it'll be an awkward silence until I go home and those two stay to argue about that thread.

Sheez.

I will grab some food after fixing this bug, aaaaaannnnddddd you haven't eaten anything from 2 days.

Folks, please:
If you grab pics or comic strips to post them here, include at least the link where you've found it/taken from.

Any eyedropper tool on linux that works in 2 click or shortest amount possible? Like instant eye dropper tool on windows, I don’t need stupid pallete on the color picker, I just want to grab the color asap with little effort

So last night i was dealing with some mysql query issues trying to grab some complex data from a relational database and ended up giving up.

This afternoon i was about half-asleep going to nap, not even thinking about the code and randomly came up with the solution.

A few hours later i made the changes and it works as intended.

Anyone else solve code subconsciously ? 😂😂😁😁

Recruiters trying to grab my attention by using my name in the subject line - only they forgot to change it from the previous candidate. Ouch!

So my office manager decided to ban kitchen utensils in the office. Part of the reason was that there was too much stealing. Apparently too many mugs, knives, plates & spoons have gone missing for it to be just through loss.

I tried to reason with this office manager. I asked if we really want to create a culture of mistrust where we ban basic utilities like we’re children.

I appealed to the business logic do we really want freelancers going out to grab a coffee 10 minutes a day over a period of a year.

I tried to appeal to the digital nature of the office can we “source the solution from the office”

The other office have to bring in their own utensils but the other office has a canteen.

Essentially I feel like this was a power issue a decision was made I’m not allowed to question it.

Apparently my “behaviour” has been flagged with the CTO. 🤣🤨

I have to stir my tea with a knife unless I put stuff in my desk.

As a solution I decided to reach out to several green companies that provide disposable cutlery and kitchen where they agreed to send a sample which I put in the kitchen. I have a feeling this will be taken as hostile move in of what is: a solution.

Seriously W T actual F.

Fuck our new project manager.

Literally all she does in her time is schedule meetings for others and send us emails stating that X needs to be done by date or why are we delayed with Y. Then she even manages to completely screw us with the meetings she schedules.

Today I woke up to seeing a beautiful gapless column of colorful rectangles in my dairy.... for today. And last time I saw this Monday it only had 2.5 hours of meetings!!

Now a lot of us from our team had the Friday afternoon off so it may be that she did this beautiful piece of artwork during that time, in which case she could somewhat rightfully say that we should have taken a look at it. But we actually have a convention to only schedule planning meetings for Mondays which these fucking aren't and even if she hadn't known this, who the fuck schedules a ton of meetings to Monday?! from a Friday afternoon?!?!

By the way the new pretty pink and orange meetings I have today are about actually important topics in between which I would normally appreciate to grab a tea or at least use the fucking restroom. Officially I only have a 45 minute lunch break all day.

Oh and naturally she sets up the meetings as organiser so that we can only suggest her new times and can't change it on our own.

But naturally PM lady never actually attends the meetings because she wouldn't understand shit. So when my fav female colleague, Sammy and I joined our 11am meeting, the first thing Sammy said - well after I greeted her by "wtf" - is to just leave the call on while we grab brunch.

So here I am sitting in the close by park with my brunch and thought I could use the now extended lunch break time efficiently by ranting my ass of and asking you guys why the fuck such people like our PM get paid.

WANKETEERING FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!

Just now I had this great incident with rosé wine hitting my couch (on a Monday, yet another reason to hate that fucking shit day). If that is you dear Google searcher, let me tell you this. GRAB YOUR FUCKING SALT, AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN AND POUR IT ON THERE IMMEDIATELY!!!

(edit: seems to work quite well for sucking up the wine moisture, not sure about smell or discoloration.. so far so good)

At least that's what a wanketeering cunt told me after having me read through 5 minutes of their dribble. While the motherfucker explicitly mentions that you're on a time limit, mind you!!! Because you know, fuck your goddamn couch, I want that fraction of a cent in ad money, that oh you've blocked it? I have no fucking idea. But waste your time on my shitsite nonetheless!!!

You know what, marketeering motherfucking dickhead. If that salt isn't going to fix my goddamn fucking couch, how about I take your goddamn shitsite down for the next FUCKING MONTH, HUH?!! Just to make up for the hundreds of fucking euros that a motherfucking couch is worth?! That'll serve you fucking right for pissing off a hacker!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Same days you just need a duck.

Me: map.get(record.Id)

Code: null

Me: no, map.get(record.id)

Code: null

Me: let's grab this record from the map

Code: null

Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.

Code: null

Me:.......

Code: 😉

Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.

Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.

I don't understand all this chat about misrepresented groups in tech. Why is it that this forced inclusion as reached even the tech community... Personally I have no problem working with anyone, but yeah...

...in 10 years, I never worked with a female colleague, never with a black person, never with a transgender/unicorn... But I would have absolutely no problem sharing with them... Every person Ive work with so far has been very passionate about tech and software and they sure worked their asses off to have the position they have, learning everyday and coding long hours...
If you're 'misrepresented' grab a fucking book, Google, train, fight, find your way... I never had enough money to study a degree but I loved CS so much since a kid I just made myself a fucking programmer and now I'm a white, straight, male working in IT, so fucking what.

Crazy code.

You know when you come across some code, where you think: “I kinda see what you were going for, but it’s still hella dumb though...” right?

Currently doing some work on an F# backend, and the dev clearly knew enough of the language, but their code makes me question a lot.

The problem is simple: use a third party tool to generate images of each page in a pdf.

Said tool supports:

1. Querying the number of pages
2. Getting all pages as separate images in a single invocation

Can you guess how the dev solved it?

They’ve recursively incremented a page number, called the external tool to grab the image of that page.

“But how does it know when it’s run out of pages?” I hear you ask.

Simple. Catch the inevitable exception, and check against a hardcoded string literal to see whether it says “must be before the end of the document”.

I shit you not.

I nearly had an actual seizure when I was debugging some semi-related code and ended up in this wonderland of fuckery.

The recursion and pattern matching was flawless though, yet the tool’s website clearly states the supported functionality.

The whole thing feels like they tried to do it the right way, but couldn’t be bothered / couldn’t get it right, so they ended up creating this insane bit of madness.

Does anyone else get this super lazy feeling where you want to write code but you don't wanna have to actually type it? Like I'm here in bed thinking about my projects but I don't wanna grab my laptop and get to work I just wanna think my code into existence.

A colleague of mine had to debug performance problems in a foreign, proprietary application that is ancient.

To be crystal clear: Only reason that thing exists is because some old geezers fear change.

Asked me for help cause it's an _ancient_ MS SQL server that is luckily running on hardware owned by us.

Finding the credentials was already a funny task.

We had to access the vault (not joking here, we have a physical vault for storing sensitive data and critical backups), grab a folder and find the necessary data cause no one ever dares to touch that thing.

The application is btw for a sort of ERP / inventory system that is used in some ancient shops not yet migrated...

Yeah. Story speaks for itself.

Anyway, after dusting off ourselves, we were able to connect.

Was a bit ... Interesting. Everything's in german. The worst kind of german.

After looking at the first tables, I started giggling.

My colleague knew immediately that this was a sign of danger (insert Simpson meme here), raised his eyebrows and asked "How bad is it....".

Me, still giggling, "lemme take a further look, this is gold".

*long sigh from the colleague*

Well... It ended with me putting my hands in front of my eyes, turning around and saying: "I cannot look at it anymore, it hurts too much...."

To summarize:
- German table names
- When a table exceeded 300 plus columns, they added another table with the same plus suffix "_ddd"… where ddd is an zero filled integer sequence like 001
- To join this mess, they created views... Named "generator" - Sequence Number ... Some had the beginning of table names appended, which doesn't make it less confusing.
- the process list was listing queries running longer than 5 mins.

Which isn't at all surprising when generating carrtesian products of N tables with left join.

I've seen shit.... I've seen a lot of shit.

But that shit scared me.

Lots of oof in one image.

I like how they had the audacity to say (and I fucking quote): "this is good news!"

I don't like to complain about sites generating revenue. I understand it is important and I even feel morally obligated not to use an adblocker. But all I will say is that the site has sustained itself for a very long time without the use of poor-quality and unrelated ads, and this feels like a lot more of a money grab than something the site actually requires.

Anyways, happy to see a -400 score on it. And I guess I can't wait to get Amazon ads on SO.

What?... really?... You read my code? ...*wipes away tears*

THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! You sir/madam/undefined are a true gentleman and scholar! (even if you are just a troll picking random shit apart to flash around your superior knowledge of design patterns).

Any time I receive a code review, that is bearing that is an actual review, born of free will and not a mandatory report - I feel flattered beyond words.

> Think its shit? - GREAT FINALLY FEEDBACK!
> Have an idea? - I'm all ears.
> Trying to sound smart? - You still read/used my shit.
> Want to understand my approach? - Grab a drink and get comfy son.

In a world where I am usually the only person in the world that knows WHAT MY ACTUAL WORK IS and there being only a select few people on the planet able to understand it, I am always grateful for developer feedback.

Seriously... out of your own volition you used my code, read it, made an effort to understand my thinking and THEN REACHED OUT TO ME with ideas!!??

I could kiss you... you beautiful binary saint.

Sometimes I get frustrated so I grab a decommissioned computer and take it to the roof, then I watch it plummet 4 stories to it's death.

On my first week in the internship, I have to create a small website and it has to be finished ASAP. So I used Bootstrap.

After finishing I tested the website in chrome debugger tools for every screen size (design responsiveness), it was working fine. My stupidity was that I haven't tested on actual mobile/tablet.

The site was live, I send the link to one of my friends and he said "why everything is so small? looks like I'm browsing on PC". I quickly grab my phone and visited the site and it was not responsive on mobile. Started to check the code again, tested again on chrome tools it was working. But not on mobile. Changed the bootstrap file but no fucking changes on mobile.

After few moments of thinking, I realized that I haven't included the "meta viewport" tag. I felt so stupid and it was kind of embarrassing for me.

Now I first include meta tags before working on new project.

Oh, this PHP thing is becoming big, we must use this; *makes ASP*

Oh, oh, this Java thing is really popular, and we're not the big bois now! *releases C#*

Waaait, functional is cool now? Damnit. Dude, grab this~~~ *F#*

Uhh. So people actually like JavaScript now? A wild *~~TypeScript~~* has appeared

Why does Microsoft have a history of following trends, and releasing poor clones with no substantial improvements??

Please stop pasting screenshots into Word docs and emailing them to me. What the hell is wrong with you? You are on a fucking Mac. You figured out how to grab a screen region with an obscure key combination, but you can’t figure out that you can paste them directly into Gmail, Apple Mail, or Thunderbird?

Wrote myself a flight stability controller for a drone I built - used an ultrasonic sensor for altitude so it should've maintained a constant altitude, but I had the throttle increments too high...
Hooked up the battery - off it fucked, hit the ceiling, bounced off a wall, and broke 2 props before I could grab it and yank the battery off.

Protip - if you're building a drone, tie it to a heavy fucking rock for your first flight test!

I went to get groceries yesterday, and it was raining but not hard. No big deal.

So when I pull back into the parking lot at my apartment complex, a large metal object catches my eyes.

"Holy shit I think that's a computer! I better run grab it and get inside to see if I can salvage anything!!"

So I park and run over to it. I get a few yards away from it and see what it actually was..... Someone's nasty ass broken microwave.

I got so excited and it all came crashing down after a few seconds

I wonder whether this is a bug in Chrome, or if it's just Google drawing the conclusion from my northern geo-position, that we still haven't left the stage of building longships, raiding England and Scotland, burning monasteries and writing awesome poetry and literature in weird characters sets.

Well, I'm not Ragnarr f*cking Loðbrók or Egill Skallagrímsson, so I can't read electronic component data sheets the way those guys did.

I'll go grab my chisel, so I can carve a bug report into a suitably flat stone and shove it down the TCP/IP series of tubes leading to Google.

Why the FUCK can’t I deploy a cordova app to my phone from VS, god fucking damnit all, I hate mondays!
*30 minutes later*
Well shit, the USB cable was only connected to my phone, not my PC...
*sobs and goes to grab more coffee*

I hate some parts of this company.

They literally have a "Designer" which made a mockup for our new UI and honestly when I first saw it I almost threw up.

Having made a lot of designs myself for personal projects and for fun I LITERALLY SAW he barely put any effort into it he just threw some stuff together took a shit on it and called it a UI.

For that interview we were actually expecting wireframes and not mockups since we were not sure what workflow we wanted for the UI.
Of course this would have come with feedback from us and then would have been reiterated and this was clear from our last talk with him.

Maybe he didn't know what wireframes were ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If this wasn't enough, he was also consistently misspelling words all over the place, not aligning parts of the UI, misplacing common UI elements and stupid stuff like having a GIGANTIC + button for adding a object to a list for a NO TOUCH SCREEN UI.

(The plus button was all the way to the bottom left of the screen as far away from the list so users get a good hand workout).

But everyone just loved it because "We have known him for a long time and he has a big portfolio so he must know what he's doing".

I couldn't bring in anything, you truly notice the difference between "I don't agree with your opinion but you are heard" and "Shutup my buddy the designer is amazing".

I was not being an asshole I was giving critique on specific parts of the UI and not just saying "it's shit" hoping we could improve on it. Still having naive hope for the future of this project.

He even looked kinda mad and irritated by my opinion and just looked at the people previously mentioned.

I truly hate people who just keep using the exact same worthless piece of garbage people because they have known them for a long time.

Personally I wanted to grab him off his chair and throw him out through the window, 2 floors down, straight into the garbage bin, making damn sure he doesn't accidentally fall into the recycle bin.

Never ever would I enjoy or like this application's UI if I had to work with it as a user.

Semi rant/ opinion
I have been wondering a bit about what my fellow devs think about adblockers

I have been using an adblocker for years.
I am guessing we got a good mix of both people who are pro and against them

I do get the site's owner point of view wanting to get a little bit of cash out of their site buts its the ad publisher that come in and royally screw things up with their garish flashy shit.

I wouldn't really mind 2-3 small static adverts on a page, little ones that don't disrupt the flow of the page or clash with the page colour scheme (i know that one is a bit far fetched but anyone who loaded up a dark page in the comfort of a darkened room only to have a big bright ad turn up in the middle of the page force them to squint ). Sadly publishers don't give a damn, their only concern is to
GRAB YOUR ATTENTION...

FLASHY FLASH FLASH MOFO!

OH AND HERE IS AN AUDIO ENABLED ONE FOR YA, GOOD LUCK MUTING IT YOU POOR SHMUCK , ONE CLICK ON THE DAMN THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THE LAND OF POP-UPS

AH YOU WANNA DOWNLOAD SOMETHING BUDDY ? AH WELL I HOPE YOU LIKE INDIANA JONES' SCENE WITH HOLY GRAIL
CUZ HERE ARE 10 DOWNLOAD BUTTONS, ONE IS THE REAL THING THE REST WILL ARE TOOLBARS

They are the biggest culprit here yet moan the loudest about adblockers.
Sort yourselves out then complain to us about ad blocking

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

Don't forget that today is towel day! So grab one 🧣 and rock this mostly harmless place 📖

Oh no Microsoft might buy GitHub! It's the end of the world! Everyone grab your code and hide in a nuclear bomb shelter.

Here's a life hack for you.

If you're ever in need of a whiteboard for drawing/sketching, grab a few white a4 paper sheets, a roll of transparent duct tape, tape both sheets together side-by-side. Cover both sheets with tape

et voila! You have yourself a portable & foldable whiteboard!
The more sheets you involve, the bigger the whiteboard will be :)

P.S. It's very handy!!

!rant
I've lost all fucking motivation to do anything at the moment.
Fuck not even gaming is much fun anymore.
Also amazing that I have so little time on Mondays that I can't even eat properly.
Literally living on caffeine, a spoonful of, like, porridge and water on Mondays.

And of course the nice bistro is closed on Mondays.
Then there is that motherfucker of person at school that just randomly starts sharing weird ass details with you and promptly started to break out in tears when she failed maths today.

Like fucking hell, then for some reason the same person fucks up everything in her volleyball group by literally doing nothing and complains when she gets hit by a fucking volleyball, like, she doesn't even attempt to dodge it catch it.

So much for that fuckery.

Then there's these little brats that just completely play asshole and are being jackasses to everyone including upperclassmen and teachers.
Grab em by the throat and fucking put them in a toilet.
Literally the reason why our school is generally known as the 'Drecksloch', literally dirt hole.

The fucking volume is driving me batshit insane in school to the point where I just start yelling at people.
Fucking kids, it literally doesn't cost you shit to just shut the fuck up.

Okay, vent over.
Sorry for that.

TL;DR: shitty day, but stickers made my day

First off, I'd like to thank @dfox and @trogus for the stickers.

I had a really shitty day, It started off something like this. Usual day at University, faculty not teaching anything. Messed up shit with the girl I like very much, still not talking at this point. Pretty much downhill. Start teaching myself some Android, while this junior comes up me to be like 'please teach me this', ok sure. He fucking leaves the moment I start installing homebrew on his mac and says "you exploiting my mac", NO FUCKER I NEED A PACKAGE MANAGER TO GET PACKAGES YOU DUMB FUCK. Further, that day, come to know its half day and not going to learn shit. WTF! But still, I get attendance so it's good. I suggest going to this new cool place to grab lunch. the girl I like goes like this "Let's GO TO JAILLLLLLLLL, IT'S COOL PLACE TO HANGOUTTTTT" , LIKE. WHY THE FUCK YOU WANT TO HANG OUT AT A PLACE WHICH LITERALLY IS NAMED 'JAIL'. Fuck it, let's go. SO. FUCKING. NEGATIVE. PLACE. Food is ok, not good, ok. I'm fucked up and sad at this point because love of my life is hanging out with other people, I'm ended up in the shit corner of the world, with shit food. AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANY THING PRODUCTIVE.

But in the end of the day, I reach home. open gates see this parcel and I'M HAPPY AS FUCK. IT'S FUCKING STICKERS, OMG.

Seeing those stickers I realized I don't need to be sad anymore. Writing this post just to thank this amazing community and the members in it. I love you guys all, :) <3

In case you and your friend are bored,
Here's how to have fun :
0)Have Linux installed
1)Grab as many monitors as possible me( and my friends connected 4)
2)Open a shell
3)Drag it all the way across all your screens width (basically open a terminal of width 4 screens in my case)
4)Run "sl"

Profit.

I can't really show how it looked like because it's a long video and can't attach here
Do try it out though.

Seriously, wtf..

- Getting ready for the K.I.D.
- Will need a red LED light/lantern to see things around w/o waking the kiddo up
- Order a bunch of various models
- Receive some of them
- The another one arrives - it only has white and blueish-white modes
- Reach out to the seller, ask to send me what I've ordered
- Seller replies with:
> Hi, friend
> I am very sorry this light is out of stock now

WTF dude... I order a particular SKU of your products, I need it for its particular properties the other SKUs don't have and when you see you've got no more left you do what? Send me a random product? Seriously, WTF man?!? How about ping me with a message, explain that you've oversold the item and suggest a refund? naaah, too much work, right? Just grab whatever products you still have left on your shelf and send them to your customer instead. /s

WTF MAN?!?!

I walked into the office.
Following the usual morning words spit out, more undead then awake.
"Good morning, jada, jada."
I'm placing my backpack on my desk.
Now opening the case with the notebook.
I grab the notebook as usual.
*crack*
Shit.
Now I'm holding the battery pack in hands. My notebook still chills in my backpack.

FUCKING FUCK SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? CURSES ON THE MANUFACTURER OF THAT PIECE O' SHIT!

Fresh internship story (Part 2)

I just realized how dumb my temporary boss really is and how much he loves to command everyone.
I told him that I am going earlier a few days ago and he got pissed lol.
He is someone who thinks he knows everything, but he does not.
He blames everything on everyone else.
He is never wrong, we are always wrong. That is probably what he is always thinking.
Clients who enter the store are precious (makes sense-you have to handle clients well, to get more bucks), but the thing is that he even screams near the clients at us. Besides of that I am new there. Be a little bit more patient, fucking prick.
Imho he is too old for the tech industry.
He loves to use the workers as slaves.
Do you work on a laptop rn? Well... fuck that. He has a new task waiting for you.
He keeps interrupting me every 5 to 10 minutes while I am focused.
Random dialogue from today:
me:"the client did a win10 upgrade and not a regular windows update"
boss:"nope. that is a windows update."
me (internally): should I show him the folder called "Windows10.Upgrade" and the "windows.old" folder both with the same creation date in "c:"? nah, fuck that. he is gonna put himself up again. do not want to have a stronger headache than this one I am having rn. (btw. I usually do not have headaches. I get headaches like once in 5 years, but since 4 days I have it every day.)
I am sick of this.
Today I had the urge to fucking grab his fucking "fuck me please" eyes out and eat them while he hears the explosive sounds his seperated eyes do. I still want to enjoy the rest of my life without going into a prison tho.

Wake up, it's 1983...
Node? React? Copilot? Programming Socks? Furries?
Man, I told you to not drink so much the last night, now wash your face and grab a coffee, you have a program for the VAX-11 to finish.

Me,: we devs need silence to be able to focus properly, and to develop good quality software.

Marketing guy: we need to hang a frame on the wall.

Other marketing guy: yeah, let's grab the drill and make several holes, fuck those devs.

It's sprint meeting day! Time to grab some coffee because it's going to be 5 hours of PMs ranting about tickets and progress. Yay!

It grinds my gears to no end as to how insanely BAD most Electrical engineering software is. Lets start with Tina. A circuit simulator. A few versions ago it was rather good but now it feel like its built upon more legacy crap than fucking Windows! This causes it to have memory access violations and crashes even when you look at it from an odd angle.
On topic of circuit simulation. LT-Spice! It has less errors than Tina but is impossible to use without being lobotomized first. Who the FUCK decided it was a good idea to reinvent keyboard shortcuts by movin all of them to the F-row at the top of the keyboard. Also there is no option to delete a component. YOU NEED TO USE CUT IN ORDER TO REMOVE IT!
And at last Altium Designer for Layouting and Schematics. Whose license costs 9 grand. No one outside of some companies will buy this because of the price. Altium realized this and made two watered down versions of it. Which dont really get updates anymore. (last one was in 2018) So they essentially made a cash grab from people who cant afford their actual product. There also exist other (and a lot cheaper) products than what Altium offers. The problem is that they dont work well with interoperability. Schematics drawn in one program will look distorted in another or not import at all. And since Altium is the industry standard you got yourself this nice steaming soup of impossible collaboration. Its kinda like Adobe being absolute shit at progressing their software just because they got no competition. Or rather they do but the industry wont switch cause adobe is so engraved into it.

My day:
5:30AM - 2yo son wakes me up, I send him back to his bed
6AM - wakes me up again, gotta grab a coffee
7:30AM - leaving towards the office
8:30AM - finally arriving to the office, after horrible traffic.
*continue working on major schema change I started yesterday*
12:30PM - Lunch + Beer
1:30PM - Tequila time!
*back to work*
7:30PM - Finally done with coding, leaving the office
8PM - home at last
9:30PM - Beer time
9:31PM - "I'll just write a couple of more lines"
12:30AM - "That's it, no more code for today"
12:31AM - "I'll just scroll through devRant"

I guess no mo' coding for me today. Time to grab muh good old flasher :)

Even if you are denied after all your job interviews, don't be sad.
1. you looked promising enough to call you to the interview in the first place
2. you need to work on some gaps in your knowledge/xp. Oh, you didn't know that? Well, now you do! Not even that - you also know what the gaps are!
3. you hear of new technologies, net tricks that are there. Dig in!
4. you become more aware of what positions are there and what requirements could be applied to them in different companies. Makes you build a company profile and make better choices for applications later on.

Now imagine the pressure on your shoulders if they would have hired you while you have so many gaps in your knowledge... It's overtimes every day! It's possibly missed deadlines. It's mishandled tasks. It's bugs all over the place and other devs judging you!

Brush your tears dry, grab candy or a chocolate bar and go improve yourself!

Laying cozy on sofa, watching yt from phone. Decide there's a need for a bigger screen but too cozy to adjust position to watch from TV. Grab trusty old chromebook running Debian from arm's reach instead. Haven't used that thing in a while. Try to connect bt headphones. Notice that the Bluetooth module is not detected according to the UI. Weird, never noticed that. Wonder what that's about. Apparently someone had fixed it in kernel already long ago, I'm on a much newer kernel. Too lazy to pick up wired headphones from across the room. Maybe I'll update the firmware, I haven't done that in a while. Oh, the script doesn't run because it requires newer glibc. Wait, I'm still on Debian 11, maybe it would be worth it to upgrade to 12. Wow, upgrading Debian is a surprisingly manual process. Wonder what I'll be doing tonight. Wait, what was I doing again?

Just remembered one day from university
So, I've not been on any programming lectures and labs
Decided to go for one at least
Terrible hangover, late for half of a hour
Grab list of tasks
Fuck, 15 tasks. All very easy, but a lot
Half of a hour later teacher started to check works
- Oh, please, come back to me later, I need another 5 tasks to be done
- What? Did you read header? You were supposed to do two tasks of your choice
- ...

Let's grab the SCRUM-Accelerator-9000 and start a new SCRUM-meering

So I work on Embedded System. While working on my project I was drinking water from bottle.

And kept it near my laptop.

Just there all my circuits were open. Connected via USB with my laptop.
And while working I tried grab the bottle and guess what?
Yeah, It fell. But thankfully it didn't touch any of my circuits. If it did!!!!

I was frozen on spot.
Phew!!

Just went to grab a USB stick from my pile of random sticks, to make a windows installation drive. Well lucky me, happened to grab one with an iso already on it

Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.

0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report

This is a well approved method.
It always works!

Be a fellow who's distracted af. You just had a presentation in another city. You're driving home and a light lits up saying you need gas. You stop at the petrol station, pour in some gas, grab a cop of joe while you're at it, pay and leave. You're 15minutes away from the gas stop already and an unknown number is calling you. You pick it up. A male voice says

Voice: "hello, this is police. Did you just leave a gas stop 15 minutes ago?"

You: *wtf, what the fuck did I do now!* "yes, I sure did."

Voice: "you forgot to pay for the fuel"

you: *oh shit, he's right! I remember now - I only paid for the coffee! Shit! I'm in trouble now. *
"oh.. Right, you're right, I forgot... I'll turn around and come back to pay

Voice: "wait, don't rush, I may be able to help you. I'll call you back, keep your phone close" *hangs up*

5 minutes later phone rings again.

Voice: "can you pull over, please? Here's a phone number of that gas stop. Give them a call, I'm sure you'll sort it our. Have a nice day!" *hangs up*

you call that number. A woman picks up.

You: "hello, I forgot to pay you for the gas, gimme a few minutes - I'll turn around and get back to you"

Operator: "do not worry, I think I can help you! You can pay for it at your home town if you like, but I'm afraid they might not be working today. But they will tomorrow! Would that be OK for you?"

you: "umm, yeah, of course! It's my fault - anything is OK for me!"

operator: "ooorrr.. I could pay for you now and you would pay me back. Would that work? Here's my bank account, I'll pay for you when you send me those 50 something €"

a fantasy story? Made up story? Bed time stories? Dysney movie plot? Phishing? Canada?

No. This is Lithuania :) believe it or not, this is a true story, and there are more like this one.
Respect to the police!

First message of today :
"Hi, I'm X from the Y office. Do you remember that was you to set up our internal network two months ago? Ok, yesterday we called the elettrician to fix two wall plugs. Now our network is completely broken. Come to fix because we think you did something wrong."

I forced myself into some other jobs i had to do for about 2 hours. After that i grab the smartphone to answer.

Oh look, there is another message.

"Hi, always X from the Y office. We just restored the static IPs you setup after we've changed them early this morning. Now everything works again."

Oh really ?

Fran's developer have some pun skill. Pun intended

HA DUMB SCHOOL. our school is throwing away a shit ton of server and desktops and I wanna grab some of them.

Find what you want to build. Watch some videos. Code. Grab some books. Code. Find some friends to code. Code.
And learn some theory to improve your code. Code.

Get a job. Code. Get paid.

Coding and debugging in js

I hate people that freelance and say they will build someone a website for like $500+ and all they did was grab a free, pirated or purchased for $20 on themeforest theme and throw it up on a wordpress site. its criminal how much they rip people off and insulting they call themselves web developers. tempting to hack their WordPress but I would feel even worse for their customers.

Usually I'd go grab a smoke and coffee and think up a solution while smoking.
I quit smoking 2 weeks ago, no idea how to fix it now.

A little something I've been working on today. So normally this would grab my devrant avatar but if for some reason there was a bad connection or something, I made it show this raccoon image instead xD

At one point, my laptop's hard drive went down. Turns out, windows had written some garbage data to the mft, and fucked up the file structure. Luckily i was able to restore a big chunk of the data using recuva. I cleaned the disk after saving the most important files, cleaned the disk, reinstalled windows. All good so far. I put the laptop's drive and my recovery disk into my desktop to put back the files. During the install in forced me to make an account, which I wanted to delete. So I ran "rmdir /users /s" and went to grab a cup of coffee. Turns out, cmd was pointed at my recovery disk instead of my laptop disk. My whole backup wiped.

tl;dr
I am either the most responsible or the biggest idiot in the team

----------

TODAY.. oh boy.. fuck today. Like literally tuck this day and this shit. We ware doing releases for an integration we ware working on for ~1.5 months ... Aaand things went wrong - I guess we didn't make a sacrifice to the release gods - finally at around 8:30pm, being pretty much the last in the whole fucking office after a few last minute fixes I get my skinny ass on my way to grab a Corona and enjoy the public holiday tomorrow ...

Aaaaand I wish that was it, it turns out some things ware forgotten by.. well everyone aaaaand shit doesn't work (ofc ffs, why should it).. I see a slack notif and the feeling of dread gets me a couple of messages back I promise I'll be there in a couple of hours tops..and here I am ranting doing shit covering my desk with "food", hating my fucking self...

Me and the Head of Dev are literally the only ones working ATM...

Well. Fuck.

A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.

I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.

This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.

I'm feeling seriously dirty.

The level of desire to give my boss a positive klap right now is too damned high.

Cunt flies us across the country to work 4-5 hours of unpaid overtime every day for a week to fix his Royal fuck up, some of my guys decide they gonna take the later uber into work cuz we gonna grab a run or an extra hours sleep cuz we fucking tired after a 13 hour day and this is the shit we get:

No wonder they call it Slaapstad 😜 - guys, no later than 8am at the office please so we can make a collective start.

Holy retarded internet company. The fiber cable that comes from the power pole lost its connection to the building I live in. So the fiber was laying on the ground in the parking lot. The upside is it is still working. The problem is people are going to run over the fiber and break it. So I sent an email to the ISP on Thursday. They didn't create a ticket all day on Friday. By the time I got home they were not open. I called their tech support number and pressed 0 until I got a real person. I explained they need to fix this soon or it will get broken. They said "I understand" and then proceeded to create a ticket for fucking wednesday next week! I told them it will damaged by then. They said "I understand". Then I get a text saying they will do this wednesday. No you stupid fuckers, you do not understand!

Queue the McGuiver music:
I got out some steel wire I use to fix stupid shit like this. I made a hook to connect the steel cable holding the fiber. This hook will go around some exposed electrical conduit. Then I got a board to lift it up high (no ladder and 5 inches thick of ice on ground). I cannot balance wire hook on board and get it to slip down. So I got a steel pole I have and attached another hook with electrical tape. As I passed the hook over the conduit I used other pole to grab bottom of hook and pull it down to keep a hold of the conduit. Now the fiber is up in the air again above the parking lot. I hope this stupid hack works until wednesday. My right arm hurts like hell cause the strain of holding the fiber taut while I pulled the hook down. It strained my right hand.

Worst customer service on the planet with Century Stink. They fucking make it harder than hell to get help and it seems they take almost a week to fix shit.

The ones I said hi on microphone, grab wireless headphones and start playing fifa on PlayStation with friend, beat him couple of times and said bye.
Well maybe it was productive overall cause I had lots of fun.

Decided it was high time to give windows the boot, other than the very rare gaming I do there seemed to no longer be a valid reason to keep it. So off I went, kubuntu looked nice, but after 2 hours I determined it did not like me much. No matter how much I google, could not find out why it would not pick up sda in the installers drive selection.

So figured, last try, grab the Ubuntu ISO and booted with that, and what do you know, 5 min later I am installing my software....

CoWorker: “Yea then just use double inheritance to grab the methods off the two classes.”

Me: “Yea that doesn’t seem right... the first object is a string parser the second object predicts future occurrences...”

CoWorker: [louder] “No trust me, I’m taking a developer course right now. If you inherit both classes your new class can use all the needed methods!”

Me: “Okay, go for it bro.”

So tired of people who think they know what they’re doing...

Ah yes, the sound of me still working at 2:30am. Marvelous.

Gotta grab a coffin and a castle and pretend im dracula, wouldnt make much of a difference.

Heya,
College is no place to chill and be laid back as shown in movies. The reality is that it is more challenging than school with peer pressure being no stranger to us.
Being a newbie in the tech domain, and being a girl, I felt the gender gap and the intimidation newbies like me go through when we see legit programmers who flaunt their skills and make it obvious that they exactly know what they are doing.
But along with all this ranting, for all the newbies out there, remember that this phase too shall pass and its not as scary as it seems (I kept convincing myself).
Always start with something easy and take baby steps, one good coding language to start with would be python, as it is more understandable and less intimidating and complex-looking than languages like C and C++.
I still struggle, but there are times when it gave me great joy like the time I developed an app with Flutter or when I managed to grab a free tee from hacktoberfest 2019.
Stay home and Stay safe buddy ;)
P.S: If you a dev and want some cool swags check the website devswag, you won't be disappointed :)

Could someone finally make remote controlled bed that transform to armchair and can ride around the house so I don’t have to get up to grab a beer or open the door....

I want to ride to fridge and get back with some beef jerky without using my muscles.

Damn technology is always aiming for stuff that nobody needs.

Next level reinforcement learning:

Grab a baseball bat and show that damn machine who's the boss, i.e. reinforce that message by highfiving the said machine in the face with the aforementioned bat.

I hate jerks that cut in front of me to grab a seat on a train.... No civility and I am clearly disabled too...

Now I am waiting for the next one...

I've tried so many ways for that at night or during walk spark of bug solving ideas:

- fluorescent ink on regular paper
- florescent mini whiteboards
- "alexa remind me.."
- writing down in my phone
- recording on my phone
-..

But all of those due to my short term memory made me forget half the things by the time I opened the fucking phone/app, found where to grab the pen or the whole dance for alexa, to remember the exact phrase I have to spell out, when it should remind me, what time,..

Earlier today I remembered how I had a little tape voice recorder I used to use a ton, thankfully that tech advanced by now and found myself a stereo mic setup little voice recorder that can also act as an mp3 player!

Went for a walk today, while listening to some podcasts, then it hit me as usual on how to fix and implement some things that were awkward at best on paper when I left home, pressed the record button, recorded it and went straight back to music mode, which remembered where I left off!

I'm so indescribably happy, I ordered quite a bunch of the same to just throw around everywhere, at the bed, in the bathroom, kitchen, for walking outside, everywhere haha

I want to program everyday for a whole year because I want to use the programming knowledge that I learned and use it in ways that will make me think outside the box. Hopefully, I can grab freelance work as a Web Developer, which has been in high demand these past few years.

I'll be documenting the process on my YouTube channel, which I'll share when I publish the first video.

I will NOT procrastinate... I WILL DO THIS!!

What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.

Fuck you Steam, just fuck you and your price politics.

I have a Swiss and one Russian Steam account. I have on my Swiss account over 450 Games and on the russian one around 4.

I have a friend in Russia and to play some games with him, I need a russian account.

Guess what? Since the last change to Steam Shop I cant use my Swiss Credit Card anymore to buy games in Russia.

Now when I want to test a game first on the russian account and when it's good to buy it after on my main Account, I can't.

Why should I pay for a game in Early Access the full price, when the game is bad and will be abadoned in a half year?

Sure they are some good early access games, which I payd the full price for (Switzerland has the highest Steam Game prices). As example ARK or Battlegrounds. I love these games and like to support the Devs.

But I get really angry when I have to pay for a Game which is worth 5 $ and sold in my Country for 20 $ and will be unsupported after a year.

Really fuck you Valve and Steam 🖕🏻🖕🏻😡

Atleast refund the people the money, when the game is abadoned! But sure, you're just in for a Cash Grab...

Good evening outta germany..
Happy coding ,be smooth, grab some beer and dont freak out 😃
This place is just excellent.

Sending texts via Excel... Kelly Rowlands VBA knowledge must be good! (screen grab from kelly/nelly dilemma)

I finally quit being a stubborn ass and started using cloud storage. well that's quite a few gigs saved off of photos and docs. now no longer have to remote in to grab files. next month setting up plex

I walked like a mile and a half in some extremely uncomfortable boots to my uni's surplus warehouse to try and grab a tower at some ridiculously cheap prices (like an Optiplex 980 with an i7 for like $30).

I got lost as fuck because it was like 6 months since I last came here. I was there about 15 minutes after it opened and they're already sold out. Time to walk another mile back to the bus stop salty as fuck.

sitting at work handjamming xml, turn around and tell my senior dev"it would be great if i could write a program to just search this folder and grab all the names for me..." he looks at me like like i have about 20 heads and am an idiot, after about 2 minutes of staring at me he remembers im fairly new and just tells me its super easy in C#... so i learned C# real quick. Anything to make my job easier right?

Last week a coworker saw a spider walking around on the floor. They were looking at the spider and telling me about the spider. I walked over to the spider and reached down and pretended to grab the spider. I then proceeded to pretend to toss the spider at my coworker.

His response: "You jerk!"

Not sorry.

P.S. I would not have done that if I thought my coworker had a fear of spiders. He doesn't and he proceeded to dispatch the spider shortly after.

A headache starts popping in my head like modals and popups on websites, so I decide I should take a pill and proceed to get myself some water (yeah, I cannot stand headaches for more than 2 minutes).

As I enter, the room is only populated with the "cleaning lady" (she's quite aged), I tell her "hi" and proceed to grab a glass of water.

"Hey, you are good in IT right?"

Oh fuck.

RUNNNNN.

That lady is impossible to escape once she wants to talk to you.

So my skills as a developer were used to configure her facebook...

Hope my headache starts leaving soon, it worsened by a factor of 9000 after that traumatic episode.

About two weeks ago I had a cyber security competition. I spent a week or so working on a bash script so I didn't have two spend hours and hours on end doing tedious tasks to get points.

So here comes competition day and I have about 12 or so scripts that I predicted to get 60 or so of the 100 points. I open the competition image, grab my scripts, and run my call script (script that calls all the other scripts). Maybe 15 minutes later, the script is done...

ZERO FUCKING POINTS. I double checked all the files that the scripts configured and all of them worked. But NONE the vulnerabilities that my script fixed were vulnerabilities that the scoring report counted. Instead of me taking 20 to 30 minutes on the image it took my and 1:07... doesn't sound like much but the highly competitive people finished in around 1 hour and the people who just didn't give a shit about Linux took 3 hours...

Luckily... I was put onto the highly competitive team after that and it all worked out... I'll hopefully add more to this script before next competition.

Making scripts for custom physics is fun. One moment, the object gets stuck on the ground. The next, it shoots off into the far distance.

Lesson of the day? Don't be an idiot for once, stop, grab a notebook, Google some formulas and think like a human being before messing around with the script again.

Why is it that so many developers have trash tier hardware? Sometimes I feel like 90% of developers are hardware retards. You work on a computer all day why the fuck are you running one from the early 2,000's that takes a year to boot and can barely run the applications you need? Hardware is a lot cheaper than time and better hardware will save a huge amount of time. And why the fuck do so many devs use laptops? Trashy little craptastic aluminium shit cans folding under the weight of the heat they produce. The more work you do the slower they go. Meanwhile I sit back on my heavily over clocked, water cooled, desktop and fly through workloads that laptop users wouldn't begin to be able to think about. So basically buy a desktop with high end hardware and you'll be amazed what you can get done and how much less painful stuff will be. And if you need to go mobile just grab a Chromebook and remote into your desktop. You'll be happy you did.

...another (probably about fourth) completely futile attempt at making MASM compiling pipeline work...

...what the fuck... seriously, i've spent together about two weeks of time trying to make a fucking default hello world compile... ml64 problems, then rc.exe problems, apparently i was missing some dumb CommonService.dll which not only doesn't exist anywhere on my computer, but it doesn't even seem to exist at all in this fucking dimension. After several hours I had the bright idea of "fuck MS rc, let's just grab any other random resource compiler that I can find, and see if that one works".

Funnily enough, it does. Except Visual MASM can't run it from it's build process because it fucks up the commandline call, so I need to run it manually, and then when I run the build from V-MASM, the rc call still fails, but then it checks for the resulting .res file and finds it, so it happily continues with success...

...and now fuckin... what even is it? *goes to check*
oh yeah, now linker is shitting itself:
LINK : fatal error LNK1104: cannot open file 'user32.lib'

And I'm just completely defeated, just searching system-wide for the lib intending to copy it into the linker folder because fuck this fucking bullshit, I've had enough of drowning in MS BuildTools versions and installations and uninstallations and fixes and modifys and repairs and all that FUCKING BULLSHIT.

HOW. THE. FUCK. is this in any way usable for anyone. I suspect nobody ever actually tried to build an assembler project in the last 30 years, so nobody noticed it DOESN'T. FUCKING. WORK.

THIS.
THIS is why I hate anything that's not a proper IDE where I install ONE thing, and do everything in that ONE IDE and let IT figure out all this linuxy-soft-coupled bullshit of twentyfuckingthousand fucking useless commandline apps threwn around the whole fucking system where I'm fucking supposed to know where the fuck what is and which version and GO FUCK YOURSELF.

GIMME. FUCKIN. ONE: IDE. WHICH. WILL. INSTALL. ALL. THAT. IT. NEEDS. TO. BE. FUCKING. ABLE. TO. FUCKING. WORK. AND. COMPILE. SHIT!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

At work everybody uses Windows 10. We recently switched from Vagrant to Docker. It's bad enough I have to use Windows, it's even worse to use Docker for Windows. If God forbid, you're ever in this situation and have to choose, pick Vagrant. It's way better than whatever Docker is doing... So upon installing version 2.2.0.0 of Docker for Windows I found myself in the situation where my volumes would randomly unmount themselves and I was going crazy as to why my assets were not loading. I tried 'docker-compose restart' or 'down' and 'up -d', I went into Portainer to check and manually start containers and at some point it works again but it doesn't last long before it breaks. I checked my yml config and asked my colleagues to take a look. They also experience different problems but not like mine. There is nothing wrong with the configuration. I went to check their github page and I saw there were a lot of issues opened on the same subject, I also opened one. Its over a week and I found no solution to this problem. I tried installing an older version but it still didn't work. Also I think it might've bricked my computer as today when I turned on my PC I got greeted by a BSOD right at system start up... I tried startup repair, boot into safe mode, system restore, reset PC, nothing works anymore it just doesn't boots into windows... I had to use a live USB with Linux Mint to grab my work files. I was thinking that my SSD might have reached its EoL as it is kinda old but I didn't find any corrupt files, everything is still there. I can't help but point my finger at Docker since I did nothing with this machine except tinkering with Docker and trying to make it work as it should... When we used Vagrant it also had its problems but none were of this magnitude... And I can't really go back to Vagrant unless my team also does so...

Grab some books, watch some videos, read documentation, and just start programming.

!dev

Sorry if this is a bad read, pretty new to devRant and writing in general.

I can't help but think and think of how much I fucked up my opportunities to completely change my life/financial status a couple of times. Damn.

A few years back (it was 2009, I think) I was playing Diablo II online, helped some random guy get through the hard levels. Normally, in such situation the lower lvl player allowed the higher level guy to grab the valuable boss loot; however this time the guy except sharing the loot with me asked me if I want his spare 2000 bitcoin. I asked if it's of any value, he said "not really".

I said I'd contact him later, when I figure out how this thing works and how to setup a wallet.

Guess what, I was too lazy and forgot about this thing completely. Then we lost contact.

In 2010, I made a comeback to bitcoin, but instead of buying it, I downloaded the bitcoin client, the blockchain (it was 800 mb in size, I remember) and have been contributing by running it on my PC for like a year.

Finally decided to get it ~3 years ago. Bought 2.5 BTC for 400$.

Was holding it, until I fell for the "free OmniseGO" scam and somebody stole them off me.

All of these can't get out of my head.
I visit coinmarketcap literally every hour to see how much I could have now. My girlfriend, friends, family, all fail to cheer me up. I still made a pretty good deal buying 5.5 ETH for 45$ and thats like 2500$ soon, its nice but this much I can make by coding

Shit, what do I do to stop being stressed except for seeing a psychologist.

May my failure make you smile today

// Stupid JSON
// Tale of back-end ember api from hell
// Background: I'm an android dev attempting to integrate // with an emberjs / rails back-end

slack conversation:
me 3:51pm: @backend-dev: Is there something of in the documentation for the update call on model x? I formed the payload per the docs like so
{
"valueA": true,
"valueB": false
}
and the call returns success 200 but the data isn't being updated when fetching again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:00pm: the model doesn't look updated for the user are you sure you made the call?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:01pm: Pretty sure here's my payload and a screen grab of the successful request in postman <screenshot attached>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:05pm: well i just created a new user on the website and it worked perfectly your code must be wrong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:07pm: i can test some more to see if i get any different responses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:15pm: ahhhhhh... I think it's expecting the string "true", not true
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:16: but the fetch call returns the json value as a boolean true/false
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:18pm: thats a feature, the flexible type system allows us to handle all sorts of data transformations. android must be limited and wonky.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:19pm: java is a statically typed language....
// crickets for ten minutes
me 4:30pm: i'll just write a transform on the model when i send an update call to perform toString() on the boolean values
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:35: great! told you it wasn't my documentation!

// face palm forever

Anyone in South West Kansas looking to grab a drink? Lol, I fucking can't with my (l)users today...

Hi developers.... so i just feel like posting this post

I'm a self-taught developer its been 6 years now and i managed to get myself a job this year at a tech startup and they actually developed this developer department just for me..... with the promise that if i manage to get this department up and running I'll get a higher position as the company grows

So it's been 4 months now and i think i'm doing exceptionally well as a developer since I'm the only developer in that organization..... and some how I feel like if i use my problem solving skills to work on other real world problems not just code and designing systems..... like bringing solutions to real none code related problems i could actually achieve more and make a big difference

but I'm actually learning a lot and hope i'll become more and do more within this organization and grab that top position role

Grab app notifications system sucks to the max. Actually the whole Grab app sucks when it compared to Uber.

But fucking Uber is expensive and high and all mighty. They are like hey our app is the best, so use if you want or fuck off.

Grab. They are not expensive and they do shit tons of promotions and gives much more coupons. But all the news are sent to that buggy NOTIFICATIONS page and that fucking page is buggy as shit.

I wonder that they are doing it intentionally. Hey give lots of promotions. Just make it hard as fuck for people to access and use it.

So my day started well.

I come in an the DVR monitor is not working, ok lets turn it off and on, nope. Lets turn the DVR on and off, nope still nothing. Played around with the VGA cable, nope. I cant replace the cable because its hard wired into the monitor....

I grab the spare screen next to me and connect it all up and it works!

Boss tells me to throw "broken" monitor out, I say I want to test it just to make sure, connect it all up to my pc and now it fucking works!

There are days I hate technology....

I swear to god, the next time someone brings in sh*t to a meeting again that's totally off-topic, I'll grab a nerf gun and turn this place into a f*cking war zone!

I gave a rant yesterday about this. But I have to say it again because it's so gratifying. It went like this

Me: "you should patch the module instead of using it for your python unit test."

Them: "You keep telling me this, but maybe there is a better way"

Me: "there is, I'm telling it to you"

Next day, Code review.
Me: "You need to change this"

... silent on the issue ...

On a call...
Me: "You need to patch the module. Don't mess up the namespace."

Them: "I don't think so, X did the work"

(In my head: then what did you do)

Me: "We can grab whoever you like Y, X. Let's see if X is busy"

... X isnt busy, hops on call 45 seconds later.

Me: "we're using the module, we should patch this'

X: Muses the thought for 2-3 seconds.

X: "yeah... Yeah we probably should patch that"

Moral of the story, don't take shit personally unless your right... Then relish in. But if your right and X says otherwise, you can always + a rant.

One of the most inefficient practices I've seen done in companies is the company housing 50+ devs having to hire an expensive consultant who is only available on a limited time to figure out mysterious or in-depth problems with the company's main application (for example, JavaScript problems).

Then the whole dev team sits on his shoulders and production can't run smoothly until he fixes things. Even worse, him having the so-called qualifications, being the 'expert', but when asked an in-depth JavaScript question, they don't know the answer.
When I suggest to figure out things in-depth so problems like these can be prevented in the future, I'm met with: "Nah bro, we'll just apply quick fix #2" just because I carry the title 'Junior Developer'. Makes me want to hit my head on the wall on how stupid these people are.

This could all be solved if the dev team would be competent in the first place, knows how to read documentation and isn't lazy, most importantly. I hate teams like that.
Grab, the damn, documentation, read W3C, read MDN, get educated, and stop using band-aid solutions! Gah.
Toxic companies like these are what's wrong with some places in the development world.

I'm a proponent of knowledge.
Fellas, know your stuff.

I think it's a scam that the multinational corporations have pulled off that they've managed to get everyone to call and equate something technical and legally specific, "piracy."

Piracy is the theft and resale of physical goods. Copyright infringement is not piracy. It's a crime(in most countries), for sure, but it isn't piracy. The word "piracy" is emotionally charged, and its use serves the interests of corporate profit, not the interest of the origination of creative works, and certainly not your best interest. It's a deceptive practice. It's a lie.

But "copyright infringement," and "intellectual property," don't grab readers' attention like, "piracy." So, like how DeBeers has indoctrinated the world into thinking that diamonds are valuable, the RIAA, MPAA, and the BSA have indoctrinated the world into buying into the lie that copyright infringement and piracy are the same thing.

I've got a user who keeps asking for weekly updates on a project I'm on and my pm is supposed to interface with them and give them the status. But my pm comes back to me like "so everything is good right?"

When we just talked last week about how it's not and I still have work stoppages. I have status updates written in our ticket tracker for him and he has tons of emails explaining the issue but he always forgets what the status is anyway!

Jesus, having to keep reminding someone of something when the information is right out there for them to grab quickly and easily is bloody annoying. He just neglects this one project! I'd cut out the middleman but I need him because I don't know enough about business rules to make decisions or ignore concerns that crop up in my planning!

A new team member joined us today. After introduction, he grabbed a chair. F*** YOU, IT'S JUST YOUR FIRST DAY BUT YOU'D GRAB KATE'S CHAIR WHO JUST TOOK A COFFEE BREAK?! PET PEEVES I HATE CHAIR GRABBERS

Dashlane is the worst password manager to use. I was trying to set up categories and since it does not have a simple selection box change feature I had to grab almost 100 at a time to change. Unfortunately after changing them I realized I had a duplicate and I clicked on that one to delete it. The system was still selecting all 100 (it uses a slightly gray color to show what is selected rather than a clear check box type feature) and it deleted all 100 passwords. It never asked me a question or gave me an undo feature. The interface is very difficult to handle.

Further, to set up a second user and grant them access to a large number of passwords (in this case my wife I wanted to give her access to 128 passwords), you must click them one at a time and then when you set it up they cannot get their own master password. Very cumbersome.

Time fixes bugs better than hard work

That moment when js is like: bro wtf are doing? You don't declare variables types here.

then you're like: wtf this is right, it works. until you look at the js console and you grab a cup of bleach.

Got our snazzy new HP Elitebooks from IT. Nice lil laptops.

Guess how many apps they installed for us off the list of "Applications Devs Need" that was submitted with the original request that they asked us to provide.

Goddamn 0. 0 Apps installed. ”Instead here is admin access, install what you want.”

Being a PC guy I don't mind setting up a new environment but things like Office365 and Adobe CC could of been installed for me, I don't have the licence info offhand so now I gotta bug IT again and why ask for a list if your not going to install any of them?? Ugh. I don't have time to sit here while Adobe installs the whole suite....

/rant

What's the first thing you install on your new PC? I find I grab ConEMU first.

@dfox @trogus: feature request: is there anyway to store on my profile a list of recently viewed rants? It can be for private use only.

There have been a bunch of times that I will be viewing a rant, go into safari to grab a link or find a photo, just to go back to devRant and iOS has reset the app and I can't find what that rant I was looking at. It's really frustrating.

I know getting iOS to keep the app state may be difficult but storing a list of recently viewed rants, while not the simplest, I would think is straight forward.

I've said this once before and I'll say it again, if you create a game engine, development kit or the like that is single threaded with no easy ability to allow multi threaded work loads, grab a cactus and firmly shove it down your urethra :-3

(It's mostly a rant with GameMaker but fuck sake, we have CPU's with more than 1 core... Let us use them!)

!rant

Today is the day, i'll finish up all the contract work that sits on my desk, cash in the money and finish up the free website i made for a befriended gamedev.

I've been sooo angry about other humans over the week but escaping into development and helping the few friendly humans out there is making me calm again.

If anyone of you feels down, grab a tee, clean your desk, take a bath and just start coding silly things, or try to help a mate in need. :-)

I've been using Git since 2014. So why do I STILL cringe whenever I have to revert commits or do a hard reset back to HEAD? What's going to disappear? What will remain? Will my entire Git history be vaporized? It's a total game of Russian Roulette to me. So, without the certainty level I want, I just do what feels safer...I grab the versions of the files I think are what I need and stick them back into my repo, then git status and commit the correct changes back in.

Can't decide if I should join this nice internship or let myself enjoy this summer and rest a bit, as I burned out a bit this semester with studying and freelancing.

Why is it so difficult to decide..

The internship is at cool place with nice tech and I feel like its a nice opportunity to grab, but I feel like I need the rest too.

And I have to decide tomorrow. I guess I'm terrible at decision-making sometimes Ffs..

Let me start this off by stating I'm a Java dev, and a noob with C++.

Thought it'd be cool to learn some OpenCL, since I want to do some maths stuff and why not learn something new.

So I sat down, installed Nvidia proprietary drivers, broke my x-org server, purged, reinstalled, rebooted and after a while I got stuff sorted out.

Then on to my IDE. I use CLion and it uses Cmake. C++ noob knows shit about Cmake, so struggle for two hours trying to figure out wtf is going on with the OpenCL libs and why they're only partially detected. Fml.

Finally, everything is configured and I'm set. I start working on a Hello World program using OpenCL. Finish it in 20 mins, all good. No output. Do some googling, check my program a million times. Nothing wrong here. Check the kernel, everything as in the tutorial.

I start checking error codes after a while reported by OpenCL (which I had no clue was a thing) and I get some code saying the program was not created properly (to run the kernel). No fucking clue what's up with that. Google around, find another tutorial, rewrite my code in case I'm using outdated code or something. Nothing.

Fast forward an hour, I find out that OpenCL has logs! So I grab some code from the website I found it on, and voila, I finally get some info on what's going on.

Get a load of this bs.

In the kernel file, so that OpenCL knows that it's a function to run, you have to put __kernel. But in all the places I read, it said to put it as _kernel.

Add the underscore, compile, run and everything is perfect.

Then I tried just putting 'kernel'. Also compiles and runs fine.

Two hours hours and my program was fixed by adding an underscore. IF ONLY C++ GAVE AN INDICATION OF WHAT BLEW UP INSTEAD OF SITTING BACK AND BEING LIKE "oh wow man feels bad, work some magic and try again" THEN THIS WOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN SO LONG.

Then again, it was OpenCL that was being shitty with its styling enforcement or whatever the hell the underscore business is. But screw it. C++ eats shit too for this. Sure, maybe Java babies you by giving you the exact error and position that the error took place at. But at least that way you don't waste hours of your life chasing invisible bugs 😠😠

I'm going to eat some food... Too much energy was consumed fighting the system... Then I'll get back to OpenCL because 😇 but that doesn't make it less bs.

Well, this happens time to time...

I'm freelancing as a backend guy. I like to take care of all infrastructure before really starting to build anything, this mostly includes dev/staging/prod environments with some linear promotion strategy. So.. I did this API. Still on staging, proceeding with the development as planned, everything goes according the timeline.

And then.. this happens... At some point PM told frontend guy that it's time for production (without notifying me), so the frontend guy does what "anyone" would do in this case - tells PM to create DNS record for production to point to staging app.

Time passes, I'm still unaware of this. But I'm starting to see some quality entries in the DB, not the usual QA crap. I write to them that they're doing good job and continue with my tasks.

One of the tasks required some major DB change. I could've written migrations script, but since we're not in "production" yet, I just wipe the DB and recreate schema as I need it.

In 10 minutes the furious PM starts shouting that "production" is down and I need to fix it ASAP.

I'm lost, I'm asking questions, I'm slowly understanding what's happening...

So I want to grab some coffee, sat back down, wrote politely that they suck, added a finger emoji and terminated the contract.

Felt like the right thing to do as I definitely don't want to continue within the same "team".