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Well that was a fun call I just had.
Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.
Me: What?
Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.
Me: What?! Why????
Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.
Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.
Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.
Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.
Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?
Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.29 -
My dad found a phone a few weeks ago and asked me what he should do with it. Knowing how much it hurts to lose personal data, I said I could try to find the owner and send it back.
My first attempt was to search through the files on the SD card in order to find an identifying document (CV, bill, address...) but there were only family pictures.
My second attempt was to unlock the phone and check the information about the owner and the accounts linked to it. But for this to be possible adb has to be enabled. Good thing is that that particular brand shows an option for activating adb on the recovery menu.
But then, it's Android Oreo and I haven't found a way to lift the lock pattern. I thought I could bruteforce it over the shell (as I found there could be about 1300 possibilities for 2 to 5 point patterns), but there is the same attempt throttling as on the screen so that would take ages.
Finally, I found the owner in the most "social" way : The phone was displaying the weather for a particular place. It turns out that there are only 3K inhabitants in that city, si I thought that a big enough Facebook group might help me find the owner. So I posted a message on a 500 people FB group dedicated to this city with a selfie of the owner : someone identified her within 20 minutes.
Mission accomplished 😎41 -
Today I presented a client with their new website.
Feedback from the owner was "I fucking love it".
Got a cash bonus and a bottle of champagne before leaving.
Today was a good day!18 -
Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.
[Checking...]
Me: It's running in Drupal
Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.
Me: Who the hell is "she"?
Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]
Me: Is she a developer?
Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.
Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.
Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.
Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.
Owner: What the fuck is terminal?
Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?
Owner: You sure are grouchy today.
Me: Yep...35 -
console.log('This website owner is a verified shit nugget. Avoid business.');
If you get a bad client, warn others! ;)11 -
So I went for interview today.
.
.
Interviewer : Can u give some theory test about php?
Me : Sir, Can u please open your site?
Interviewer: sure 🙂
Me : Sir, I just logged in as Owner of ur company, Your site is not protected from sql injection.
Interviewer : 😌😌
Me : Sir, test?? 😜
xxxxxxxxxxx -------------------- xxxxxxxxx20 -
Lost my iPhone last night😭 - looked all over but no luck - last chance the gas station - called and the owner said he found a phone with devRant sticker on the back. I still was not sure as lots of devRant members in NY but yes it turned out to be mine. Nice!
And the best news is the gas station owner told his dev son about devRant! So my temporary loss may change his sons life. Sometimes things are just meant to be. 😀
12 -
The story of how humans evolved to an asshole.
Code-reviewer: please change 'if a==b' to 'if b==a' as it is easier to read so I can approve.
Code-owner: -_-16 -
So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.
Title: Senior Software Engineer
Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build
Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!
Title: Dev Manager
Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.
Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request
Title: Product / Product Manager
Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop
Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them
Title: Program Lead / Product Owner
Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)
Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists
Title: Director of Software Engineering
Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)
Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happen9 -
We have new scrum master. First meeting together.
Project owner:
- I would give them time to wensday (2 days away) days to do migration
Manager:
- delivery is in Tuesday. can we have two teams to work on it so it will be done twice as fast?
Scrum Master:
- do you really think that if you get 9 women pregnant they would deliver you baby in a month?7 -
> Find cool repo on GitHub
> Works very well
> Respectable weekly downloads
> …Hasn’t been updated in a year
> …Owner from Shanghai, China
> …Hasn’t pushed to any repo in over a year
> Last profile update: Feeling sick 🤒
> …
>😔
> Rest in peace friend, thanks kindly for the time you’ve saved me.16 -
Today I found somebodies phone... Together with his bank cards in the flip protection wallet ... I was able to turn it on and charge it so I awaited a call and now through the caller I was able to return it to its owner within 2 hours of finding it 🥰 got a nice bottle of booze as a reward8
-
In my new neighborhood I found this WiFi network which has been protected for so long by just its name "Virus".
Am sure the owner never thought of geeks who instead of running away from" virus" just get closer.
Am ranting using "virus" network7 -
Dev: To send push notifications, please open a ticket to get access to the new tool we are using which is dedicated to managing push notifications and push notification campaigns.
Me: ok done.
*5 days later*
Tool owner: Can you please add to the ticket the reason you need access?
Me: “To use it”2 -
"Hi xxx, please stop asking me the same question. I've answered it 4 times already via email, slack and in person on our zoom calls, over the past 2 weeks. I do not own the ticket and have no idea of the status or the dates. Ask the owner."
- slack response I was forced to write this morning to the guy my company put in charge of the entire product (mobile, multiple backends, frontend etc.).7 -
So I found a HDD in a trash bin, plugged it to a USB, and I found this while browsing shit
Either its previous owner is hiding something or is just a lonely man and promptly forgot where his ahem... interesting stuff was stored.
I only backuped what I need and erased the damn thing btw, its now a spare drive
16 -
I just recently started my first job as a full stack programmer (still studying at university). I got assigned one month to code a complete front end to our api. Now, 4 days before release day the owner of the company makes breaking changes to the api.
Just. Beautiful.1 -
Ok, some @#$#!!@ at my company set the WordPress cache directory to "/" on a Linux server, some other plugin triggered the cache clear and the Apache user was the owner of almost all the WordPress directories of several MU installations, this all happened on a Friday afternoon.2
-
Did you hear of the story of the fucked up data migration at the british bank TSB? People can't access their money for a week now. And people see the accounts of other bank custumers. The CEO had to call IBM for help.
https://theguardian.com/business/...3 -
A few weeks into my first dev job, the owner of the company sent out an email directing that we were no longer allowed to use open source software in our web projects.
I didn't stay there very long.8 -
So this happen on my previous workplace. I worked there for 4 years and quitting was the best decision I made while was there.
One manager/owner there was the most toxic, piece of shit, disrespectful cunt I have ever worked with. The type of guy that comes in and every person's productivity goes down in a heartbeat.
As he was a owner he usually came in later. This one morning it was 11-ish and a meeting with a client was happening and it was an open space.
He comes in.
He puts his laptop down.
He sits.
He screams of the top of his lungs:
- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
- ANTS ALL OVER MY DESK!!!
- I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS.
He leaves for about 30 min.
He came back with a can of spray, and literally intoxicated the office and everybody had to stop working.
And there you go one of my last place's beautiful stories.5 -
Product owner: "I want these 6 epics delivered in 12 months"
Me: "can't to that with 2 devs, need more"
PO: "how many?"
Me: "can't say, you haven't spec'd them"
PO: "how do you know 2 devs can't deliver them?"
Me: "educated fucking estimations you fucktrumpet - at least 2 of them look like 6 month projects for 2 devs, so you need to pay for more resource!"9 -
I was made owner of the GitHub repo in my team.
I am the second guy with rights to merge to master.
Soo happy 😬7 -
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
when I already deployed the feature, but QA and product owner just started to talk about acceptance criteria
-
Scrum Master: Let's estimate the task. Chose your estimations individually, then we will reveal at the same time and discuss
- variety of votes, ranging from 1 to 8
Product Owner: I don't agree, this should be a 1 or 2.
Dev Team Lead: Agreed, this is why I chose 2. Let's vote again.
- All votes now are 1s or 2s
Good fucking job 🤨11 -
You fucking son of a bitch!
First you make me do a project in two fucking months, and that's a fucking job-load for only one dev to deliver a SPA with payments and whatsoever.
Then you pushed me to accelerate deployment date and there I am, getting tired and using time I don't have.
But oh no, you prick, that wasn't enough, you had to do just one thing. YOU HAD TO DO ONE FUCKING THING!
What's that? Oh, sorry, I thought I overheard that you wanted to accept online payments but YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SIGNED UP, YOUR BUSSINESS IS NOT LEGAL UNTIL YOU REGISTER IT.
Motherfucker, I can't do anything, you better fucking register your bussiness if you want this to work the way it's supposed to do. -
We use MS Teams and I started a new team for the contract renewal. My preference was to continue with the old one for files and searching. I am the “owner” and the PM is the “owner”. Everyone else is a “member”. Owner means admin. The executive sees that she is a mere member and demands the PM add her as an owner. He makes her an owner. Then she decides that she outranks is and should be the only owner. We discover this because we can’t on-board a new person on the team or configure build notifications or GitHub code review notifications.
Basically the executive has stopped the team from using Teams because her ego tells her that she is the one true “owner.”5 -
Ok I need to know who is in the wrong and who is in the right so voice your opinion in the comments...
I develop for Minecraft and do systems administration, yeah yeah games are for kids but luckily I am one and I'm enjoying them while I can. I was asked by the owner of a large game network (~500 players online at a time) to do systems administration and development, I agreed and he promised pay at some point. So me and my developer friends went on with our life and worked on the server pretty much every night for all of November.
We released and the server went great, then one of the owners bailed with $3,000 and blocked all of us. No problem we will just fix the donations to go to our buisness PayPal. We changed it and the owner made ~$2,000. Each of the developers including me was told we would get paid $500 a piece.
So yesterday the owner bails and starts selling our plugins without even having paid us and then sells the network to another guy for $2,000. (That's well enough to pay us) did he pay us? nope. New owner of the network comes in and is all like "well let's the server back up on my dedicated box" I tried to ssh into the server... Nothing the port is closed. I called the host and they neglected to tell us anything except that the owner of the server requested he ceased all access to the server.
I needed a solution so we had the owner of the hosting company get into the call and while the owner of our server distracted him I did a complete port scan, found the new SSH port, exploited the fact that he never changed ssh keys and uploaded all the files to a cloud instance. Then I ran this on the server... "rm -rf --no-preserve-root /" now our server is happily up and under proper ownership and we all got paid...
Was breaking into the server the right thing to do though?6 -
I just got a call from a recruiter asking if I had any recommendations for a company in town. Eight years ago, I met the owner of this company and he seemingly went out of his way to ignore me every time we met. His attitude was cold, unwelcoming, and not a character I ever wanted to associate with.
It's a small world. Please don't burn your bridges before you ever get your company's first round of major funding. Yes, I know a lot of people that might have wanted a position like this, but not with him at the helm.
As much as I wanted to express my disdain for the owner, I hold steadfast that the only respectful answer to this recruiter is to say: "I have no recommendations for this position."1 -
I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.1 -
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you need properly tested backups!
TL;DR: user blocked on old gitlab instance cascade deleted all projects the user was set as owner.
So, at my customer, collegue "j" reviews gitlab users and groups, notices an user who left the organisation
"j" : ill block this user
> "j" blocks user
> minutes pass away, working, minding our own business
> a wild team devops leader "k" appears
k: where are all the git projects?
> waitwut?.jpg
> k: yeah all git projects where user was owner of, are deleted
> j.feeling.despair() ; me.feeling.despair();
> checks logs on server, notices it cascade deletes all projects to that user
> lmgt log line
> is a bugreport reported 3(!) years ago
> gitlab hasnt been updated since 3 years
> gitlab system owner is not present, backup contact doesnt know shit about it
> i investigate further, no daily backup cron tasks, no backup has been made whatsoever.
> only 'backups' are on file system level, trying to restore those
> gitlab requires restore of postgres db
> backup does not contain postgres since the backup product does not support that (wtf???)
> fubar.scene
> filesystem restore finished...
> backup product did not back up all files from git tree, like none of refs were stored since the product cannot handle such filenames .. Git repo's completely broken
Fuck my life6 -
Project Owner: We don't need Git, it's a waste of time to set it up!
Yeah, whatever you say old man...7 -
When you edit some HTML with the developer console and then your grandmother says: "But you have to undo it after this, because the owner will be not amused when they see that you have edited their website."
Jup this is how the internet works: everyone can edit their website :D2 -
yeah I actually forgot to thank stackover flow from what I am now. Thank you Stackoverflow
credits on the owner of the photo.
2 -
SM = Scrum Master
SM: "Card #130, you added a comment saying you aren't going to do update the report?"
Me:"Yea, I explained why in the comment"
SM: "Product owner wants it."
Me: "Product owner isn't the manager using it. I talked with Steve, he said the data is accurate and they have to go to the database anyway to verify the error. That report has no way of knowing the message logged could be a false positive."
SM: "That's not our job to decide. If the Product Owner wants the feature, we add the feature."
Me: "It is absolutely is our job. Steve is the user of the report. I could really care less what the product owner said. The only reason he created the card was because Steve told him a specific error logged could be a false positive, and only happens, maybe, once a month. I'm not wasting my time, Steve's time, or this project's time on wild goose chases."
SM: "I'll schedule a meeting this afternoon to discuss the issue with the product owner. Don't worry, if you can't figure out how to filter out the false positives, I'll assign the ticket to me."
fracking fracking kiss ass. I swear, if he goes behind my back again ....I... deep breath....ahhh...OK..Thanks devrant. Work place incident diverted.6 -
Will AI take over the world ?
Will that be cause of a bug or just machine learning ?
And finally, who is the winner and the owner of the earth?
4 -
As a developer, I'm sometimes accused of pulling strings out my arse.
As a dog owner, I've literally just had to pull a string out of my dog's arse.
I really wish she'd stop eating fabric.2 -
Friday, 3pm, job interview.
Friday, 8pm, mail from the company owner:
'we liked your profile very much, so we'll make you an offer on Monday'.
No signs of life since then. I guess you didn't like my profile THAT much... 😅8 -
Dear every single Samsung owner I see, if you spend $200+ on a life proof case but still end up with your screen and back smashed... I think you have bigger problems than just a smashed phone...3
-
I once worked at a small dev shop and the previous developer there must have hated the owner of the company.
He hid a script in one of the interal company apps that the owner used every day... the script looped over a method that sent the owner 500 emails that solicited viagra.2 -
I have this side project that I’ve been working on for the past 6 years part time but over the past 2 years just as a sysadmin to keep it running, it’s unpaid work but whatever, dropping in once a month or so doesn’t worry me.
Well the owner of the domain hasn’t been reachable for nearly 9 months and the domain expired a while back, not much I can do about that, so I pushed everything over to work at the IP level while I reach out and wait - that was 2 months ago while I waited for the owner to renew it or for the domain to fall.
Today the domain fell, so I jumped on to buy it back up only to find its already purchased... 😦
so I find the owner, it’s fucking parked on a shitty “buy me” page with a price tag of $4500 USD. Fuck these slimy hoarding domain parking bastards.
I know the site was on its last legs, low membership and traffic but I’ll be fucked if I’m paying that much to reacquire it. -
Ticket from legal department: implement GDPR recommendation, log customer consent, separate checkboxes to opt-in to T&C and newsletter
Ticket from marketing department: small print T&C on sign-up, remove "conversion killer" checkbox
This is why we need a product owner4 -
This former developer made an app 2 years ago which is in production since then. On the 404 page it's throws the database credentials. The database saves personal information about the mobile owner.
Luckily I found out and fixed it. The client doesn't know about this.
Oh boy!1 -
I forgot the rant owner but there was a rant about annoying border alignment of windows calculator app.
Good news for you. Windows made it open source now. 🕺2 -
I thought our owner is only a billionaire, but now...
"Added support of the 150 years date-range for the specific crypto symbols"
...now i'm sure he's also immortal...1 -
//TODO uncomment the following line if the Product Owner change her mind again this week....
*yesterday before I took a vacation2 -
Time for the self assessment for the year...
"Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?"
Oh idk.... Maybe owner of a small coffee shop with no stress whatsoever...
Or I might fuck off to my own little mountain like Luke that'll be nice...4 -
https://thehackernews.com/2018/11/...
Chaotic Evil: Some dude 'hacked' 50k printers that were open to the public and printed a message that the owner should subscribe to PewDiPie.11 -
Apparently the fire hose in our building wasn't connected to the water main, because the legislation stated the building owner had to install a fire hose, not connect a fire hose to the water main.1
-
Lack of documentation on internal deployment process/tool we are forced to use, but can't migrate because the process owner won't approve it because it doesn't meet their unposted ever changing guidelines.
-
Probably the store owner talking to a customer about jerking off while he went like 5 years without sex.
(Im working a basic job while in college)1 -
Product owner/Scrum master: "We don't have any time to review pull requests. We need the development time for features"6
-
Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.
Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.
Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].
Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.
Owner: Are you going to help me or not?
Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter. -
Product gets launched in 2 hours. Just casually updating the documentation. Nice chill day. Everything tested and validated.
Then some random f**king designer comes barging in vomiting all these "necessary" features to the product owner.
This was yesterday. The designer and product owner are currently complaining to us devs that there are bugs everywhere...
I need a beer.3 -
TL;DR - Developers, do not buy HP Stream models laptop unless they are selling at $1.
Cannot even handle Sublime + Firefox + LAMP use case well. On lubuntu OS with literally nothing else on it. Sublime crashes every hour.
Now I am learning how to code using other tools before I can buy a better replacement for it. Failure with gedit; very slow and sluggish. Currently trying Geany.
It's a pain in the ass to learn new tool especially when you are so accustomed to something. 😣12 -
Jesus. Got elected by the product owner last minute to give a presentation to a bunch of stakeholders. What the fuck is the point of your job if all you do is delegate your responsibilites to other people.4
-
" What's the big deal ?
It's just an if condition right ? " - Every manager / product owner ever.
And all the devs be like #facepalm !2 -
When your product owner tells you to forget about architecture and unit testing, "just push it out"...
2 -
Sprint planning:
PO: I have a great idea for a new game changing feature
Team: cool, let’s talk requirements, etc
PO: nah, I trust you can come up with the best implementation possible
Sprint demo:
Team: presents the feature
PO: Why are you guys always doing it your way, instead of following my vision?!
Every single sprint...2 -
I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.6
-
Listening to a product owner describe a system that they want when they don't understand what problem they are trying to solve is quite an experience.10
-
Gotta love product owners that don't seem to understand agile.
We delivered the set number of items in the sprint we committed to plus a little extra polish. During the last day of the sprint we're spending the time to push all our work to UAT do he can actually perform acceptance testing...
He decides he should chase all of us up on stuff that we never commited to or even mentioned we'd touch.
Had to explain it to him at least 5 times during the day.3 -
Joined a new team at work 6 months ago. Immediately set upon by a useless PO who was somehow set in her ways while still being around 30 years old. Absolutely refused to change the broken team dynamic or processes in any way whatsoever. Made terrible tickets, never did refinement on tickets so they were always missing stuff and constantly blocked. Generally unlikeable and difficult to work with, incompetent at her job and resolutely refused to change literally anything to make the team function better.
She finally leaves after 6 months and the team dynamic changes immediately. Suddenly we are improving our processes, getting stakeholder input, refining tickets, taking reasonable amounts of work in a sprint. We have discussions without her butting in and getting frustrated when you bring up legitimate concerns. No longer do you have to tiptoe around and appease her ego if you want to point out the obvious flaws in the work she drew up or even just examine it from a technical perspective.
It's insane how much things can improve once you shed the dead weight of people that are just determined to be difficult and won't budge an inch to change their ways. Good riddance.4 -
A few years ago I was working in a startup where the designer was given way too much decisional power (he was friends with the owner).
He had a tendency to keep editing parts of the design during the development phases, so when we had to work on a new big section of the application, before starting the tront-end development, I asked him to confirm that the mockups were final.
He confirmed the design was final and was not going to change.
10 days later, of couse, he sent a new, completely different, set of mockups. The startup owner expected the new design to be implemented without moving the deadline.
(I left that startup shortly after. The issues with the designer were just the tip of the iceberg.
The owner tried to keep a payment hostage to "force" me to sign a new 1 year contract. He backtracked when he thought I was recording the call. I got my payment and left.)1 -
We use scrum in our company.
And with scrum I mean we don't have a scrum master, our senior developer is the project owner, we estimate in hours and the estimate is binding, so you are not allowed to work longer on a task than the estimate.
So yeah.. "scrum"4 -
I was asked to come to client with the product owner and the marketing person. They told I just need to answer technical questions. But, in reality both the product owner and the marketing didn't even understand what our product is. I need to explained and carried on all the presentation. And the worst part, while I was struggling explained everything, the marketing and product owner was chatting and browsing random website5
-
!rant
Just deleted 6 files and simplified a process significantly, omg it feels so good to throw stuff out
My product owner was once under the impression that writing more code was something I enjoyed doing, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.
Writing new solutions and patterns is fun, adding anything other than that is just more future maintenance work1 -
> "you've been slacking off in development go do some damn work"
> 20 commits since yesterday
> guy isn't even the project owner1 -
The moment the product owner we were working with almost had a seizure.
Ps: Sadly, he's still alive and continues being a dick 😑 -
I am the only developer for a nationwide company. Everyone else in this company has no idea about IT, from the owner down.
I have about a year of actual IT experience, so God knows how I got this role.
Fellow developers, especially .NET developers, how do you estimate the time required to complete tasks set by none technical people?9 -
So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).
Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..
1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.
2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.
3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..1 -
Me: we need to fix all these technical debt and prevent new ones from growing
Boss: this needs to be prioritized by product owner
Correct me if I'm wrong but a PO didn't see all the shit under the hood, (of a nice looking "car")... And by the time the engine starts choking... It's already too late?1 -
It sucks having to revert 2 days worth of commits all for some issue that I can't independently confirm actually exists. Site owner has panicked and wants to hit Ctrl-Z back 7 commits. There goes two days of my life I'll never get back.3
-
Met an owner of a dev company with interesting openings and drank some beers. After a while he begins to rant about his employees. Yeah. Didn't took the job. At least he paid the drinks ;)4
-
The mysterious life of developers
CLICHE DEVELOPER - which can be spotted by the conference t-shirt and the pale skin. Main source nutrition black carbonated liquid.
HIPSTER DEVELOPER - this species only drinks warm liquids based on expensive spices and beans, and his only tool is a so called Macintosh.
for many individuals in the herd it's considered prestigious to not utilize the mouse at all.
The herd works towards a common goal, a goal set by the project owner. When the project owner arrives the developers often hide digital image of cats from their screens........
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
at the gym before work.
owner finds I work in IT, end up spending a hour diagnosing his broadband drop out issue, and installing antivirus on his unprotected PC :/2 -
working on a crappy legacy site written by an invalid. The job was to replicate an existing site for a school with the original's permission. I fix a shit ton of bugs and update the original.
For the first time ever I got a phone call from the original's owner to complain that I had fixed their site -.-
leave things broken from now on!5 -
Product owner (who is also the application administrator): please build feature to allow administrators to create automatic alerts to be sent to application users
Me: ok
Feature gets built, tested and deployed to production
Two months later:
PO: I've noticed in our monitoring tool that there haven't been any alerts sent out to users. What's going on??
Me: well have you created any automatic alerts?
PO: umm, no. How do we do that?
Me (inside): 🤦2 -
Not sure to delete this block of code... or just comment it out until product owner changes her mind!3
-
Got into a fight with a teammate last week (acting PM, she was) over how she basically failed to do her job.
Got blamed for talking about it by project owner. (basically, they wanted to make themselves feel good by passing down the blame down the blame chain... But I rebelled)
... Don't want to walk into the same meeting tomorrow. 😢😔😞8 -
was invited to contribute to a project. after about 60 commits in a row, multiple refactorings and several added modules it feels like having highjacked the project. the owner sits in silence. prolific but awkward.2
-
YOOO Product owner if you don't specify which freaking page something doesn't work I CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!2
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Product Owner: There is a major bug with your code it's not working.
I then spend hour looking at code to find out.
It's a content problem! -
How did you come to know about devRant?
I was shopping stickers online, and the owner of that site referred me to devRant (personaly, we were having a chat via that contact us chatbox).
Share your stories, because I don't see any ads of devRant, so everything must be organic here...19 -
So it's required by law to chip and register your dog. I just got a puppy so I had to change the owner of the dog from the kennel to me. And the only thing I needed was my chipvalue and the registration number.
So all I have to do is scan the dog and try the registration numbers and then I can change the owner. Like wtf. And it does not even send a confirmation email. I checked by changing owner and email again.
My registration number is only in the 600K so other registered pets should be easy enough to bruteforce.
Or am I missing something?7 -
I just had a 3.5 hour interview last week. Chatted with the owner for an hour and we were laughing and joking around... Didn't get the job. Still don't jave a job.6
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What the actual fuck GitHub/CircleCI?!??
I transformed a GitHub account into an organisation and lost admin access to a repo even though I'm the owner of the organisation. Now I can't even access the settings for the repo on CircleCI. What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?!!?! THE FUKKKKKKKKKKKk? -
Not code related by my boss has verbally harassed me for the past two business days (I recently put in notice that I'm leaving). End of the week cannot come fast enough. And no, we have no HR, yes he's the owner, no it's not worth fighting him for.10
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How do you guys handle a client who is two months behind in payments?
I am building a website for a local business and the owner is very far behind in paying. I am a bit behind in the development schedule, but he is in the know about the status and progress of the website and I’ve reminded him multiple times.14 -
This is how Scrum works:
Three coworkers are in a Scrum Team. One of them is also the Product Owner and the Scrum Master... The PO decided this Monday that they need to add a new feature for the Tuesday night release, which is estimated at 80 hours. I told the other two in front of a manager that this is not scrum. Nobody gives a shit.2 -
Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.2
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I f&#king hate it here. I am just eyeing to exit as soon as 1 year of my contractual obligation is over. My employer is a good employer. Provides good benefits but I just can't take the bureaucrazy in here. Just yesterday, had to ask another team to deploy objects on our behalf as they are the schema owner. They did it and asked us to review it today. But how? We don't even have manual access to the schema, because we are not the content owner and security! But that's fine, I can always query the catalog views and check the metadata and should be able to conclude the deployment. Right? NOOOO. Because security! Of what? Column names?
Prev rant: https://devrant.com/rants/5145722/...2 -
Hi, this is my first rant!
I started working side by side on an AngularJS project with a javascript developer who has been with the company for almost two years now.
Today our Product Owner reported that he couldn't continue with his conformity tests because there were some blocking errors. Looking at the controller's code of the page he reported with errors I found this debugging nightmare
4 -
So I am only 15 and I am trying to find local businesses that will allow me to either build them a website or let me redo their current website.
Doesnt sound thay complicated right? I have gotten to do it once, for a laid back coffee shop owner whos business went out of business a day after i emailed him about it being done. I mean how the hell does that even happen!
I have tried different types of emails and shown all of my work, which it is all good sites that look professional. Issue is alot of people dont trust email offers or dont trust me cause im 15. I am not much of a person who can walk into a store and talk to the owner about it, i am not social in that aspect.
So anyone have any ideas?5 -
Not specifically a Dev job, but I did do a bit of development at this wifi startup. It was a wifi shop where we set up wifi for hotel clients all over the US. Anyways, they said I would make great money doing "on call" support, and me being an intern and naive I said absolutely I'd do it. Well 3 months later I was put on call essentially every day and one weekend I was with my mother and it was her birthday. At her party at this nice restaurant, with all of our close friends/family, I got a call. It took me 45 minutes to solve because of how idiotic the clients were, and after that I got 4 more calls equally as frustrating and long throughout that night. I asked for help from employees, the owner, ANYONE. Nobody helped. Needless to say I emailed the owner and said farewell that following Monday.
-
Quiet working environment (aside from hearing a joke from time to time)
Fast computer, lots of screens, keyboard and mouse of my choice
Good product owner that doesn't accept bullshit request into the sprint
No legacy crap5 -
At the product backlog refinement the product owner told us (the devs) how the database model must be designed! He said he knows it best, because he knows all the requirements. 🙈4
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Last Thursday, project owner insisted that the module I was working on to be ready for testing this Monday(though the supposed deadline is next week).
Went to work on a day off to deliver it as requested. Monday came. Monday went. No testing started. Project owner was on leave.
Now he's asking if we can start with the testing.
Hope I have laser beam eyes so I can toast him. -_-2 -
Proud owner of a brand new Volkswagen, baked less than a month ago :)))
Lots of touch and tech inside, lots of assisting technologies -- quite a jump from a 2005 Audi a6. You can even track your car in your phone now OOTB :) cool!19 -
Junior dev here.
I'm removing features that are worth days of work because business requirements weren't properly defined with the business owner. Disheartening.2 -
> Opens heroku
> Opens application
> *this pipeline does not have an owner*
> *internal screaming*
> refresh
> "Ah okay, heroku is retarded"
> *sigh of relief*2 -
First day back from holiday: after 30 minutes of work (excludes start-up, catch-up etc.) The P.O. (product owner) comes to me
Telling me I needed to switch project, ok I thought at least they switched the project from what ever it was to a propper OTAP street while I was away
Few tickets later the P.O. asked me if tickets x could be deployed to our test servers as well as production.. (note the ticket was already merged with our develop branch and he wanted only that single ticket x to be deployed)
WTF is the point of a OTAP street if you're going to deploy it to every server type at once?
So day one after my holiday I already needed to fight the P.O. again
At least I wasn't disturbed during my vacation... Witch is a first.8 -
You think you know agile? Which of the following is the most useless? Sort them in an ascending way (where 5 brings the most value) :
1) Product Owner
2) Project Coordinator
3) Project Lead
4) Front office
5) the cleaning lady2 -
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE CLOSE TO DEADLINES???
My team exists of three developers and a product owner. By the end of the month we have to deliver two new applications. It has not been going as smoothly as we'd hoped so far. However, one of the developers has cut his time for this project from fulltime to 1-2 days a week starting this week. The other developer is also needed on another project and has to run to the rescue whenever there is a problem with the servers, so he doesn't really solve any bugs either. Also he'll be leaving straight after deadline so he has to document everything only he knows and he'll be on holiday next week. Also, the product owner leaves tomorrow and will be back after deadline.
So.. Here I am, junior developer, have been here for about three months and I have to fix everything and do the communication to our testers as well. I'm feeling too overwhelmed right now...5 -
I remember when this person I worked for suggested all the engineers get on a day long call with the product owner pointing out problems and the engineers fixing them on the call. It was absolute chaos when i told my team 😂
Has anyone else ever encountered such??4 -
As a student, I live in a house with friends and the actual didn't have a table in my room.
So after one month waiting for a answer of the owner I decided to buy one in second hand. All I can say is that I love it.
Any suggestions to some improvements?
PS: external drive is only temporary
8 -
So, I've seen a github repo whose owner puts all of his code in an unformatted README.md file, no further files. I'm not sure if I should be concerned for them or scared.1
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Article in Seattle Times this morning detailing the "Legacy of Bill Gates Sr." who recently passed away.
I haven't read it, but I assume it's basically "Owner of the bill-gates-contrib repository."3 -
I hate doing discovery and system analyst type crap. I'm a Dev, not a technical documenter. I'm not the product owner and I shouldn't be defining requirements for the application. Why does this seem to happen a lot?1
-
As a gun owner and an avid FPS player, and one day (when I get the time) a builder of such games, please may I set something straight?
8 -
Product Owner: Hey, can you guys own this incredibly fragile legacy app built with Grails, Angular and Mongo?
Me: No
PO: Go on. You can rebuild it!
Me: Sigh.. ok
- 6 months later -
Me: When can we rebuild this bloody app??
PO: lol sry no budget lmao! -
Today I had my first app preview. It went really well, although not all the functionalities worked as expected, the product owner was very pleased!
Perfect start of this week! -
Live deployment next week Monday but Product Owner really need this new fix in.
Can you code, push to test, test it, push to acceptance test, UAT it before Friday...
It's Wednesday today 😐
Project manager says ok 😱1 -
Just imagination but, if infinite money and resource was present (and if this was hypothetically possible)...
A machine that is able to replicate ONLY one portion of the brain thinking activity and produce a version of a robot with that thinking capacity. This would be unique per person, and licensed in a way so that the owner of the robot is only able to use and control it. (I'm saying only one thinking capability should be allowed as a robot should never replace a person ideally.)
This would mean that the person is able to increase efficiency as the robot could be set to resume activities in the period that the person can't (i.e. sleeping).
One example of using this scenario could be that the person chooses to create a robot by replicating their coding thinking capabilities. This would mean the robot doesn't do much but has the same thinking ability to code as the owner. The robot could be used when the owner is sleeping or on holiday. As the thinking capacity is the same, the code logic would be the same as when the owner would have wrote it.
This would be a DREAM project to work on.
But alas... This isn't happening anytime soon in my lifetime (or ever realistically).1 -
It was on my first year of university. I had to develop an administrative system for a tattoo studio.
But practically the only I did was consulting to db and saving information 😅 and the girl who was the owner of the studio told me that using the system was a wasting of time. It was easier to her do those things handmade
But I learned a lot from that experience -
a first time project owner sets up weekly requirements meetings for a new project. everyone has input, but the project owner. 4 months into building the application to the requirements gathered, the project owner says, that's not at all what I want. 4 months wasted3
-
Product Owner.
Not Product Liaison.
Not Product Buddy.
Not Product Suggester.
Own it. Bend it to your will. Make it better or sunset it and build it again. But don’t be a wet noodle and say “I’m just following orders”. You give the orders, you own it.3 -
There is quite possibly nothing more irritating than getting a message every couple of hours from your product owner titled - "How are you going with the task?"9
-
!ranting
Is there any app other than devrant that gives you free stickers?
My owner and I want to have some. I like to have tattoos all over my body.
-w/ <3, Laptop9 -
I'm reluctantly in charge of my company... for now. Trying to avoid any of those fancy, personally cringe-worthy, titles like owner, boss, acronyms starting with a C.
My solution, suits our unique branding, is having my role as:
DragonOverlord
Any arguments as to it actually being a position are quickly thwarted, as it's obviously a class.19 -
What in the actual fuck GitHub?!
Why can't I edit a file direct on the web UI? I was able to this morning! If I can't edit against master then why the fuck is the icon there?!
Also, why did you add the unnecessary step of "add tag" when I am fucking CLEARLY adding a new fucking tag.
8 -
>Be a dedicated server owner
>Fuck up and have an issue you do not know how to solve
>Ask us for help
Huh... Okay, fine
>Machine has apt repos from 4 different system releases
>Nope.elf
Some folk should never decide to admin a machine on their own :|4 -
I’m living the dream. Lightweight, powerful, beautiful gaming laptops are a thing (have been for a while) and I have the pleasure of owning one.
I remember one of my college peers having a BRICK Alienware laptop in 2010. Don’t get me wrong, It was awesome at the time and I was super jealous, but it was insanely loud, heavy af, and as thick as a calculus textbook!
But now with the amazing RTX GPUs, and TB SSDs I can game on max settings, benchmark fairly well and take it with me when I travel for work alongside my work laptop all in the same bag without breaking my back.
🤘🏼 I love my Asus Zephyrus 🤘🏼
The fan is still hella loud though 😆
Maybe by mid or late 2020s we will have a revolutionary cooling system that would rid our dependence on fans for cooling. Just dreaming out loud here. It sure would be great to not have to clean the dust out.8 -
Needed money for my company, not enough clients to support business on SaaS alone. Took on a 5k / month job building a platform that competes with my SaaS (more niche, less generic). Also sign up new client who that company's owner is part owner onto my current SaaS. Win / Win?
I do a lot of custom work to my platform to fulfill their needs, which is why I ran out of time for the 5k / mo project. I did these customization for free. Losing money to keep client, but also improving my system.
Work gets busy, I need to drop the 5k project. Client is upset I am working more on his other company (he is not majority owner). I return 1 month of funds to the owner and say I cannot continue.
Owner threatens to make other company that he is part owner stop working with my software if I do not complete project. Blacklisting...great. I agree to work with an overseas developer to do it and PM it for 3 months at least. Making nearly nothing from it (now 1k / month for PM), working nights to deal with India, losing sleep...
Other company suddenly folds due to conflict of egos with that SAME owner. Users drop from 16 to 1. I drop the project, no more strong arming me. Everything is a loss, all effort and money lost for nothing. Bad bet..however...
Owner becomes 100% owner of the other company, and of the software company. I transition him to PM his own project, he still uses my software because It doesn't, nor will it, ever do what the one he is building does. Also, partners from previous company break off and use my software again. New Client. #profit.
But holy hell was it stressful in the interim. People's business tactics are disgusting. Stay calm, play it neutral. Win. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to succeed...at least for a little bit.
I was so scared that how he screwed his partners he would screw me over as well if I built one of the modules I have planned for my System, but haven't done yet.
If I did it for him first and then built my own (totally diff codebase) I really didn't want to run into any legal issues considering the schematics he has now are mine, but I didn't finish that part of the system for him. He is obivously highly competitive. Even though he wanted me to, and still does, want me to run his company for him.
Who knows, maybe in the future. To be CTO / COO of two SaaS CRM's in the same space may make sense. But I will never sell my software to him or partner with him. Too much drama. Avoid the drama. Be careful out there fellas.
If you are a creator, people will take advantage of you in every way imaginable. Read the fine print, read the people, document everything. Don't put yourself at risk. -
in the freelance marketplaces, some people write, "Need a freelance developer for SMALL TASK". who the hell defines those tasks as SMALL task? if you knew this is a SMALL task, why don't you just do it yourself? if its so small, why don't you just ignore it? if its a small task, why don't you just spend five-ten minutes of your "precious" time to learn how to fix it?
& then when it comes to paying, they say, "My budget is 5$, because its a small task"
Seriously? in 5$ my electricity bill wouldn't be covered.
& Then comes to the marketplace commission! Most of the times, its about 20%
So, I get 4$
Then it comes to the bank tax and blah blah!
So, now I get around 2$ or 3$
Now, I don't know whom should I kill first -_-
The clients or the marketplace owner or the government or the bank owner or myself :}11 -
Must contain 8-18 characters, 1 lower, 1 upper and 1 special character. Cannot be the same as email address.
18? Why fucking 18 characters? That's not any pragmatic limit. What fucking product owner came up with that requirement?8 -
Never thought I'd be back here after all these years. But today I thought I would rant about our product owner, who thinks he's priceless to the project. The man walks out of meetings that don't go in his preferred direction. He gets flustered whenever discussions become technical and demands everyone ELI5 the entire thing to him. He clears his throat loudly every time he wants to make himself noticed, like loud grunts of a wild boar. He will find ways to shift blame away and onto others. He does not like being recorded during meetings and does his best to make sure his decisions don't have a paper trail in case they go sour. No paper trail also means he can contradict himself everyday ans get away with it. I wish there was a way to make him resign or switch to a different project. Other managers and even his bosses are already aware of his behavior and yet still no significant changes in his actions or behavior.
-
TL;DR The "senior dev", that the client hired on their end, is acting as a middleman between me and the project requestors. Taking the credit for my work.
I've already bitch about this before. I've been in a crusade to defend the production server from this fraud for a long time now.
But most recently he has removed me from all meetings with the actual project owner. I create the solutions, then he goes through them to understand it a bit. He proceeds to present it to the project owner in a way that almost blatantly says that he made it.
I'm sick and tired of working with this asshole. He is literally useless, worse he is slowing things down and breaking others.
I'm just gonna begin countering this... -
Fucking product owners. Churning out retarded requirements every sprint and then complaining about how the requirements haven’t been met, just to add new retarded requirements the next sprint.
Hot tip, if your product owner is obsessed over apple events, tell the cunt to go buy a new Apple Watch and suck on apples trillion dollar market value. Fucking goofy cunts.2 -
Product owner: when will you have that script written and submitted to DBAs?
Me: if nobody bugs me, hopefully COB today.
Product owner: great!
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
Team lead: write this other script.
Me: I just finished user support, I have another script to write first. Does yours take priority?
Team lead: yes.
Me: ok....*sigh*
*writes 2nd script*
*submits 2nd script to DBAs*
Product Owner: you done?
Me: *face palm* ......NO! -
I have more of those with personal life affecting job. I am currently going through one of those when my emotional attachments stop my brain from functioning (those damn hormones! 👊) and I am literally too old to be played with via feelings, but here I am. 🙄 Owner of a stupid fucking heart.3
-
Be happy or offended. You decide.
When Project Owner congratulate your team that the app is not crashing on QA. -
Installing COSU devices. Need to setup 200 Androids. I boot up number 43 and it's set to Chinese language. I switch to English. It registers with the network.. WTF there is a sim card inside. =D And it was in a sealed package.
Now I am a proud owner of some poor bastards China Unicom WO sim card. =D -
We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.
So far, so good
Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.
It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?
One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.
PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.
20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.
By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.
I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.2 -
I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.2
-
I got an email from an owner that was a bit strange. It was a forward of an email he sent to someone else. At the top of the body he had written:
****BLIND COPY****
hahahaha
I shared with him the proper way to handle such a task :)1 -
Two steps from UAT being done:
Product owner: "Oh yeah, one more thing."
My brain: "You gotta be shitting me!" -
E-Mail from client who couldn't add the WhatsApp link in her website:
"so if I click the link they can directly send the message through WhatsApp?"
Why the fuck would you click your own link to message yourself?
How is it that people can barely speak and still be a business owner?4 -
Agile Product Owner: How long do you think this task will take?
Me: Probably 13 points.
APO: That is too many can you break it down into separate tasks?
Me: Sure its probably an 8 and an 8. Since i need to work on them sequentially and one depends on the other, the second task will take longer if i need to make changes after the first one is merged.
~ Turned 104 (8 tasks * 13) points into 128 (16 tasks * 8 points) points.
A 13 represents a whole 2 week sprint.
An 8 represents a week and a half.
We cannot fit 2 8 point tasks in the same sprint, so now it takes 2 whole sprints to complete 2, 8 point tasks.
We have no smaller tickets so we don't work for the rest of the sprint.
Anyone else been here?6 -
#Development Story:
No Size for iPad (only mocks are mobile and desktop)
Ambiguous on Close Button (size and position)
#Development:
Me: iPad size, should it be X?
Product Owner: Yes
#QA
QA: Close button is to Small, change to bigger
ME: (ok....)
#Product Owner Review
Product Owner: Close button to big, make it smaller, also iPad size is not that, is Y.
Me:
3 -
Pushed out a big update that included restructuring every directory. No one had access to the admin section. Yeah needless to say my boss was not happy since no one could do any work. Turned out during the process I made every admin page need the highest level of authorization which only the owner has. Easy fix but stressful day for sure
-
I finished school 3 months ago, Ive had a traineeship for those three months. Now Im employed at that company and they want me to be the PO of a project already. Ive never been PO, any tips?
In this Project I will be both PO and mentor for interns and Im gonna have to write code for the project as well.3 -
Browsing through upwork jobs. Saw a job post where the owner has requested a programmer use his username on stackoverflow and answer questions on specific topics on his behalf. Payment suggested was some $/Upvote.. what the hell!!1
-
New Year's day 10am I got a text message from the product owner.
To wish me a happy new year one would guess. But no! She was telling me that the cron job that I developed 2 years ago failed and I need to apply the change on the configuration manually.
What really irritated me was that was no matter of life and death, this could wait for us to get back at the office. Or even worse, she could have done the change herself, after all she was checking emails anyway.
What a b.2 -
I'm as nervous as a guy who just proposed.
I had been contributing to a vs code extension for more than 6 months now. And my contributions were good. Recently I put forth few plans for the development of the extension to the repo owner and he accepted it.
One of the ideas is to ask the owner of another similar repo to merge with us and help us make the best there is.
I had just sent a detailed mail to him and waiting for a reply. Hope he says yes 🙈 -
My project is losing in one week: product owner, team leader and to make matters even worse our best dev also leaves. FUCK ME. We will see what happens when shit hits a fun.2
-
I'm stuck in a rented apartment in my work-city and working from 'home' during the quarantine. Now, the owner wants me to leave for a month while he shuts down the place - right after the quarantine ends - when I HAVE TO GO TO OFFICE.
:]5 -
I used to work for an owner of a company that just would not order/buy anything that we needed. If we were running out of a license for something, he would wait until at least a week after it expired to renew it. We lost so many sales and trust from people because of that fuck.
-
Product owner said don’t allow decimals in markup and we disabled decimals. At the 11th hour she said well what I wanted was for them to add decimals and we round up and save the rounded version. They initially type in 20.6 round up to 21 then calculate the percentage. And you refresh the page markup now says 21% not your original value. How is that even smart.4
-
Just helped in the little 'Büdchen' (kiosk comes close, but in reality it is more of an little super market) around the corner to Update the firmware of a money bill verifier and counter... As there are new 50 Euro bills.
God. Serial to USB. After running installer and starting firmware update, the owner was a bit frightened as it took so long....
XD
Setup. 30 secs. Firmware. 6 Minutes. XD -
So i fcked up a lot monday. I was working on ftp system and i had some problems, so i wanted to test on my own account.
What i didn't realise was that usermod -g group user
Overrides current users instead of adding them like
Usermod -G group user
So i overrided my users groups including root.
And the next day i logged in, my user didn't have sudo permission 😊
Luckily the owner had a friend with sudo which saved us. Because we only have 1 account which we me and the owner uses. -
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT!
This stupid fucking car alarm has been screaming on my street for the last 30 minutes already, and the owner has not stopped it yet! It's 2 fucking AM and I'm trying to fucking sleep!
FUCK!! -
To all who fancy MS being a platinum member of Linux Foundation and all that "love" which MS so loudly screams around. MS and Canonical are working together. Unity was only the beginning.
You do realise if Linus, the owner or Linux's GPL ( https://kernel.org/pub/linux/... ) dies it might lead to catastrophe, right? An owner of a license can make exceptions in license.
A man has limited time. A company can wait..2 -
According to product owner, solution is modern and cutting-edge because it is written in .NET
For her it doesn't matter that application is written in ASP.NET 2.0 with VB here and there.3 -
!dev (feel free ignore my rambling)
Fuck my piece of shit landlord that doesn't want me to provide a next tenant because they already have someone (without visiting, I believe they have some shady dealing since I noticed a pattern in regards to the last two flats that changed tenants) and doesn't give a shit about the kitchen I had built in / says "maybe you can leave it [for free] or maybeee the owner will take it but don't expect as much as 500 or 600€ and whatever the owner proposes is non negotiable [...] if you wanna take it out we'll buy a new one" (i.e. fuck you we rather pay 4k for a new one than give you the 2k it's worth)
(╯° □°） ╯︵ ┻━┻
aaaaargh this certainly doesn't help my stress levels which are already 11/10 with the flat search1 -
The product owner, cum our solutions architect is dumb.
It takes him ages to explain one shit.
Also, he is an expert on triggering useless chaos and panic, thanks to his innate abilities to misinterpret shit.
He thinks everything should happen at 3×10^8 m/s.2 -
I used to play on an electric guitar which I was trusted to store after the original owner emigrated, now that I left as well I'm out of a hobby.
I have an ever-extending list of small luxuries I plan to buy once I have stable disposable income, the first item is a stratocaster with an amp.1 -
In the kingdom of aws reigns the Owner of Products.
In his court many a vassal noble (or a "sre" as they are often called) delivers their tribute.
Wise ministers (called "analysts" in these here parts) advice the Owner of Products on how to instruct his sres and where to lead the kingdom.
Needless to say, in the court the blabber is endless and the egos of the courtiers, deservedly or not, are even larger.
But there is but one member of the court, leader of none but master of japes, who dares to mock not just the courtiers, but even the Owner of Products.
Tester the Jester, from the houses of Operations Research and Quality Assurance.
There is a unique relationship between a ruler and his jester. The jester mocks the ruler, with the most outlandish of propositions, with the most malicious interpretations of the ruler's orders, evidencing the most absurd (but mathematically viable) results of a plan.
The jester makes ridicule of the ruler's edicts... so that the Owner of Products may remain humble, without need to defer to any upstart courtier.
And, in a more subtile manner, the jester prevents any courtier from maliciously complying with the edicts of the ruler.
For all in the court have heard how the lowest among them voiced the preposterous interpretation... And dare not show themselves to be even lower.
TL;DR had an all-hands meeting of tech leaders with the allmighty PO. In the meeting there is this bloke who apparently spends all his time just fucking with the bigwigs' ideas. Dude is a department of one. It seems that his whole job is being an outlandish scenario simulator & sarcasm artist. I now have way more respect for this place. -
post != rant #sorry
Just curious. How would one go about programming something like this? Do you guys think this machine just displays a fullscreen web app made in html/css or is there another approach with an actual programming language, not markup language that one can take? I heard it uses RFID technology to show cartridge levels, and records the time dispensed, alerts store owner when low, and brand dispensed alongside just dispensing drinks.
16 -
Guys, i'm so sad and laughing too cause i losed my GitHub account. I tried to recover but... i don't have the old OS where i had the SSH key so i can not authenticate myself as the owner, don't have the 2FA on my new mobile because i'm dumb and... i don't had the recovery codes... please, kill me...
The good news, i can make another account with the same e-mail.2 -
I am in school. Talking to the dean of the program he mentioned that there is a programming class that is required. Naturally I inquire about the language in the class and he responds with Python. I am ecstatic. I love Python. I eat, sleep, and breathe Python. Class comes up, and time to buy books. I am now the owner of Windows Powershell Cookbook and Learn Powershell in a Month of Lunches. :-(2
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TL;DR Does Telegram really secure?
Some people say Telegram is the most secure and safe messenger, some say it's not. If you're familiar with it you may know from news that Telegram did not gave its clients' info to government, you may have heard that Telegram's encryption is not the best one, BUT my question is does it store peoples' private chats' keys? Actually it does with normal chats because if you reinstall Telegram you can easily get normal chats' messages. Also my friend said that any application in mobile stores like App Store sign a agreement with stores owner company that if some points met, the application owner have to share info of its clients. So dear friend what do you think, should I continue using Telegram)?
P.S. sorry for my not the best English5 -
Yesterday Ibdid buy an iPhone. I did it to learn swift development and people started to tell me that it was stupid.
I know I could have just used my emulator on my Mac but I just do not want to, testings apps is better in their real envieonment
I hope you guys understand my point, I am getting tired of all this "you stupid iPhone owner" shit
PD: I regret nothing3 -
A meeting between me, the CEO and the owner of a company. The subject: they asking me about my friend who decided to dropped their shitty company.1
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So i finally get offered an internship at an awesome company by its owner but now its 20km away frm whr I live nd its unpaid so I'll hav to figure out hw im gna fork out transportation money5
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Our project using Agile methodology, we have every day stand-up meeting(scrum meeting) that normally end around 10 to 15 minutes with 7 ppl.
One day The Project Owner came and join our stand-up meeting that cost us like sprint planning
And The Project Owner did not stop there, he come again next day for the 1 week.
Because of that our product backlogs and Sprint Planning goes haywire.
We failed to delivery what we planned for that project. -
Since this evening I'm a proud owner of a VFR 800 A late Gen6 ('07).
What a way to rest my mind from programming and IT altogether!2 -
How would you call this role? Product Owner? Graphics Designer?, Both? Neither?
I work for a small startup besides university and we do need a person responsible for how site looks. But then again we also need a product owner for the frontend. So why not combine these roles? A person who's responsable as product owner for all the frontend related bits plus does the designing. Initially this person would work with just one frontend dev, possibly more over time.
Question:
- How would you call this role/job?
- What would be an appropriate salary?
- How would you evaluate an application to this role?3 -
So we started to get build failures because the build server is full. Team leader asked the co-owner for more space. Got told we should just do less builds. You know stuff is outrageous when even your team leader goes on a rant about how stupid that is and how things are going to crash and burn in the future but nobody gives a damn.3
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!rant
Just got my new monitors. 2x 28” 4K monitors... didn’t realise they were this big, so now I gotta get a new desk, but that’s fine, I just bought an apartment with a spare room I can make into an office (as soon as the current tenant moves out)
I live in a co-share apartment, and the owner wanted to sell it, so I bought it.5 -
Question: How to deal with an idiot product owner?
Doesn't understand the job description. Thinks he's the manager. Controlling. Loud. Annoying. -
When the co-owner of the company you work at thinks he's the shit but still does everything in visual basic...this guy is still in his early 30's too lol
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I wish I had a product owner that wanted to own the product. Or a BA who thought their role was more than "get the developers to have meetings with the business". Or a QA team that didn't want to log all new features as bugs because "if we make bugs we're doing our jobs right?" Or a project manager, that I dunno, makes sure everyone understands their roles.1
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So, towards the end of a particularly disruptive Sprint, the Product Owner Manager, who asked for A3 pictures explaining the flow to him and had multiple meetings with us and business and rewrote a spec of something already in development and changed priority of stories, wants to know... what is taking so long and business wants all these changes next week.
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Is anyone on here a proud owner of one of the current gen enthusiast platforms? (Threadripper or i9)
I am seriously wondering how much impact that brute power has on my build times. I just tried a ramdisk for my maven build and it seems that the faster storage did not increase build times much. So I am assuming there is a cpu bottleneck?3 -
"Hey critnukes it's me your dumbass costumer and I was told to call you from the owner, so do you know where our mailbox is?"
You live in the other end of the country, surely there must be something wrong with you to think _I_ could know. Well, they were so used to us knowing everything they didn't even think about it.
Guess that's a good thing right? -
>project owner tells us not to push directly to master unless necessary
>project owner will not abide by his own rules, pushing everything he does directly to master
... i cant even anymore -
!rant
I have a personal dilemma. I'm creating an API wrapper for a small project, and I ran out of API requests. I "requested" the owner to grant me more to keep testing the wrapper.
He tells me that I either need to pay for more or code better. I don't know if I should keep going or just tell him to off himself.4 -
The owner of a github repo has added me as a contributor but haven't given me write access, so i can't push commits.
When i asked him, he said i have to make PR. The fork button is also disabled. So i guess i can't make a PR also.
Now WTF i am suppossed to do now?
No write access, fork disabled . Still i have to push my commits ....ughhhh2 -
When a webshop stock owner gets mad when their stock quantities don't add up, because it magically doubled +1y ago, and has been corrected now due to physically missing products while collecting ...
oh well. -
Q. What's the greatest number of rebuilds / redesigns for a full system that you've done?
It still sticks in my head that in one job we went through five specs, and the system still didn't do what the business owner wanted! I think the goals posts must have had wheels!
😂😂😔😔😭😭😨😨4 -
One more week till holiday...
Yesterday's demo went well...
Product owner compliments team for efforts...
This week is going somewhere 😄 -
Got bored while pushing a large unity project, set Nice=-15
Works like a charm.
Actually, a GUI tool would be nice, something like xkill that sets the nice value of the owner of the clicked window to a really low value, for when you just want to get something done quickly. -
The new owner info for my laptop:
"Don't dare to touch it's a private property if found will be shot dead and survivors would be shot again" -
According to wikipedia they currently own 74 micro satellites, hope they will be selling them on some auction, people will gather and buy one for community I could give some money to be partial owner of the satellite.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
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Dear owner of websitex.com,
How do you expect your website to perform and increase sales with so many 404s, no meta titles and descriptions etc... (blah, blah, blah for a page)
Me: very glad to hear that, I took it down, deleted the files and let the domain name lapse 2 years ago... XXX -
In my first Dev job, it was a startup and my employer(owner), didn't even had the passion and vision I had for the company
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So at the end of our sprint retrospective we (me and one other dev) apologize to the project owner for the fact that QA had to happen on dev for a few days because the database changes were not properly applied by the DBA. It was a one time thing, a little weird but not a big deal.
A few hours later we get a call from a new DBA saying that the project owner said that we wanted the old DBA off our project. So now we sound like assholes ruining a guy's self confidence and made working with him awkward as hell.
Thanks, project owner. -
When you ask the project owner for a workflow explanation and his reply is "I don't know how it should work yet, just do whatever you get first", you know it's time to ditch the bastard along with his project.
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When you change the owner/group on the sudo file and now you can no longer run sudo and root has been sent #hopethisbackupworksandisquick
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Birthday Present: Lenovo X1 Carbon with old Sim Card from previous Owner! ( Turn out the Laptop is used and not Fresh)
So I'm back on Shitty Windows 10! or ChromeOS Flex instead of ChromeOS natively on a Lenovo Chromebook!5 -
Start my internship at ‘around 11:00’ today. That’s how it was put by the owner. The company doesn’t have an office so they meet in the home theatre of a mansion twice a week. Across from the indoor basketball court and ping-pong room.
If it’s not a real company, experience still looks good on a resume right?1 -
Last Friday, owner goes to client location to take part in a demo. Dev supervisor is gone for the day for daughter's graduation so they leave me in charge of application (which I wrote anyways) and in charge of embedded software developer. The 2 of us work hard to make sure all parts work flawlessy. Demo goes great and owner is very happy because company looked great in front of client.
Owner calls dev supervisor, again who was on vacation for entire demo, and congratulates him for a job well done.
WTF??? -
A mechanical engineer, a computer scientists and a business owner go for a drive and the breaks go out. The driver struggles with the handbrake, but eventually brings the car to a stop. The business owner knows a guy who owns a tow truck who can get them back on the road in no time. The engineer says, "Let me take a look at it first. Let's see what the problem is." The Computer Scientists says, "It was probably a fluke. Let's just get in and see if it happens again."
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I made it as dev when the repository owner increases stale time for pull requests to wait just a bit longer for my change
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When you go out to have a client meeting, then the client doesn't show up (and you only learn they won't show up after you have texted them twice).
Looks like I need to start sending out meeting reminder emails again.... -
So I want to get a bird. A conure. And I really want to get one but I’m deathly afraid I’m not gonna be a good owner. I’ll sacrifice a fuck ton for it and I will commit to taking care of it and befriending it but I’m just really really afraid.9
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Me: Assigned to do some NoSQL injections test cases in December on Jira by product owner.
After asking him about it, he said it can be vague and it’s only for developers to get an idea. I also have this restriction where I can’t really keep actually data or databases in our test sample application, so I could only mock mongodb. Product owner says just mongo is fine.
I do it. Now it’s January, product owner away for a month we so director is managing it. She then schedules me to talk to database team. I show them the very simple test cases which essentially just inject payloads I found online into different parameters specified in test case. They say if that’s it. I say yes. They say what’s the point of this. I said that it’s probably to test your database clients and ensure they’re rejecting bad Malicious input? They then keep asking but I’m just the dev and tell them the product owner is away. Then the guy calls my test case essentially useless and the others agree. Then they tell me to do it for other databases which I can’t mock like couchbase even tho my PO said it’s fine for mongo only.
Am I just being silly here? I am pretty new to working in a dev environment so please feel free to be blunt.3 -
Wanna get the next value of a sequence in Oracle? Oh just do :
SELECT sequence_name.NEXTVAL FROM DUAL
Wanna get the current value instead? Try this query :
SELECT last_number FROM all_sequences WHERE sequence_owner = '<sequence owner>' AND sequence_name = '<sequence_name>';
Yeah thanks Oracle...1 -
Whenever I am assigned a task, I always feel like I understand, but when I work with it for a while and present the results, the task owner is not quite satisfied.
Any ideas of how one can solve tasks better?4 -
The whole windows server + ms sql server ordeal is the biggest fucking joke I've ever seen in my time being a dev.
The ms sql dashboard uses a hidden user to access files and stuffs, so I spent 1 hour trying to make the dashboard's explorer to find the database dump file, only to find out that the file need to be owned by the hidden user. So
I spent about 1 hour trying to set the correct owner of the dump file, but to no avail, the explorer still couldn't pick it up. Then I spent another hour to set the correct owner for the containing folder. Finally, a 6 years old answer on SO point out that I should just put the fucking .bak file in their default folder, and voilà, the fucking thing works like a charm.
I can't get why Microsoft has to go out of their way making permission management on their os so fucking convoluted. The fucking usernames are a fucking mess, you have to go through a bunch of form to change just the owner of a file (please don't start me up with that running some command on powershell bullshit, I would rather deal with bad GUI than a badly designed CLI)
If I were to being positive though, Microsoft is actually one of a few tech companies having a good technical decision of moving their shits over Linux. -
I'm developing an add-on to management a real estate and I was almost 2 months trying to solve how to reconciliate accountant accounts depending on the owner, which tax resolution could be variant, after many nights and tears today I've solved it in less than 2 hours. 😒🤯1
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Estimating a 1 day change as 4 weeks when the scrummaster, product owner & BA haven't bothered to run the simplest dilligence check and can't be arsed to even give a quantitative valuation.1
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I must deploy a new solution today so my product owner came to ask if I finished and asked a new feature for today asap.
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Playing chase the stakeholder when trying to find the owner of a sharepoint page for authorising changes.
"Sorry that person doesn't work here anymore, ownership was passed to her line manager in Venezuela." -
I just had a long argument with the scrum master about my roles as a developer, and apparently it looks like, that I am a tester and a project owner too. For just one payment. FML!
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we have been working... we swear...
this is right at the end of a project which was artificially extended because the review process wasn't setup in time. we've had to do certain things the product owners way, whilst shaking our heads and this useful chart is one of the side effects. sidenote, product owner is looking at this chart and showing it to higher ups, trying to show progress being made... i give up.
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I hate my Scrum Master. Normally he doesn't even checks pull requests, and when you need his help, 80% of the time he's missing. Now that our boss is the new Product Owner of the application, the SM is bugging us A LOT
So fuck him, go away to do whatever the fuck you did before. Stop pretending you "work" -
When your product owner/team leader prioritizes extracurricular activities over your thesis...... You trying to take us down with you?!!?!?!?!
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Linux noob... just accidentally made myself (not root) owner on all files. seemed fine for a while, but I couldn't sudo or even ssh. had to rollback my server nearly a month to fix it 😭
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The new team member seems to hate me... For releases, each component that needs to be released has an owner responsible for building and post release merging.
I already own 2 branches but she assigned me 2 more... -
1 - Correct me if I’m wrong, but in true Agile, a product owner ought to be able to interact directly with the dev team, and vice versa, in the card/conversation/confirmation process of creating, estimating, and executing the user stories, correct?
2 - If Company “A” contracts with Consultant “A” to have software developed, and then Consultant “A” then contracts with Company “B” who then contracts with Consultant “B” to do the development, who would you define as the Product Owner?
3 - If Company “B” is barring Consultant “B” from talking with Company “A” and Consultant “B”, is Agile even possible?7 -
I had an issue with office 2016 add-ons crashing, apparently they use IE, so I looked online for this issue and landed on a Microsoft QA forum, where the issue was IE crashing. Some of the comments on that page were amaizing "IE keeps crashing, I really regret upgrading to Windows 10. I'm a really fustrated small business owner" <- that's just sad...
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Ok, about to graduate as a system developer.
I wan't to become a great developer first and later on in my career switch focus more into scrum master -> product owner.
What should I think about when choosing my first job?1 -
In a Backend API team, should the product owner know about all the flows that our APIs are used for, as in, should the product owner be the source of truth for this? Obviously it is best for engineers to know this information, but is it the POs responsibility to know this?2
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Can slack team owner see other peoples direct messages even if they're not in that chat
Probably a stupid question. Sorry1 -
Had an interview a couple of days back, and trying to sell how good the company is, the owner proudly declares, all their code is procedural.2
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Question for the Web Devs: What is your go-to CMS for Web Content Management? Was looking for a small project and wanted to learn to build Websites where the owner would occasionally add or update content on his website3
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I just discoverd a search input and can inject code on it. Send a email to the owner talking about the problem and what can happen. i dont received a reply and the website Stay the same
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Has anyone forked (not fucked) a github project/gem just because the owner no longer gives a fuck to make those PR's?2
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Heard an interesting idea: along with estimating tasks based on time/points, a dollar value should be placed on it by the product owner, basically how much money they think completing the task would bring in for the company. If this was based off of real data, I could see a lot of tickets being moved back into the back log.
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Currently our team is in a cycle of blaming the PO (indirectly) & feeling bad about it. He's really a nice guy and is doing his best! (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
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