This was during the first day of my first real dev job, straight out of college. I didn’t have have much experience with version control since I did mostly solo projects in college, and I wasn’t exposed to SVN or Git in school at all.

One of the senior devs was going to give me and another new guy a brief overview of the codebase. He sets us up with the GitHub repo for the codebase and tells us to clone the codebase locally. I didn’t really know what this meant but I felt kind of embarrassed to ask, so I just clicked “download as zip” on The GitHub repo.

After a minute he saw what I had done and was like “yeah, that’s not what you want to do” and showed me how to clone it. I was kind of embarrassed but I learned Git pretty quickly after that.

I don’t really have a moral to this story except that “no question is a stupid one” is much easier said than done for many people, and it can be embarrassing to ask certain questions sometimes.

"Can you put my site as the first result on google?"

I can add SEO to your site, just give me your preferred keywords, a description, and let's make sure we follow white hat best practices etc.

"No call someone at google and ask how much to go to the top of the list"

So you want to pay for ads or..?

"No get a figure I can pay to get to first page"
"Or can you just edit the google"

... And so I never renewed that contract ever again, the end.

At ATM

Options
- cash only
- cash and balance
- cash and receipt
- cash and balance and receipt

Choice
- cash only

Questions
- would you like to see your balance

Then
- would you like a receipt

IF I WANTED A FUCKING RECEIPT OR TO FUCKING CHECK MY BALANCE THEN I WOULD HAVE MADE THAT CHOICE WHEN YOU FIRST ASKED ME. YOU FUCKING CUNT.

I EXPLICITLY CHOSE “CASH ONLY” SO JUST FUCKING ASK ME HOW MUCH I WANT TO WITHDRAW AND THEN LET ME GET THE FUCK ON WITH MY BASTARDING DAY!!

First time I heard a client say: "You've done a phenomenal job, but you've over-delivered. You should have come to me. We could have worked it out." after we had to ask for an extension.
That's a keeper.

My last internship. When acquiring a new project and having to give an estimate the boss/sales guy always went to the programming team first to ask them what the estimate was and then communicated that back to the client(s).

Asked him why he does that because many companies don't:

Well, the programmers are going to write the software so why the hell would *I* be the one who gives the fucking estimates?

Yes that was a good boss.

* Finishing up my English NLP for my App *

Me: Finally it’s ready. Now my app can understand everything that the users say.

* I get my first millennial user *

My App: Hello there! Would you like to ask me a question?

User: yesn’t

My App: * crashes *

!rant
Worked all day and got my embedded systems project working the first time! Bluetooth as well! 😁

It's a Fitbit clone that keeps track of steps that I did from scratch and writing the companion app from scratch as well in flutter/dart. Ask any questions if you're curious!

When you've been the new guy for a while and your colleagues ask you for help for the first time

If you come to me, and ask for my opinion about something, then you throw “You’re wrong” at my face. Then why the fuck did you ask me in the first place? Fucking cunt

A girl that I like once ask me to download movies for her because her internet at home is slow. A day after that I told her that the first 3 on the list she gave me is done. She then told me that she forgot to bring her thumb drive and ask me if it is possible that I email the movies to her instead.

Fucking hell. If I like your bloody app, I'll go rate it myself you fucktwaddle. Don't ask me to rate it just after I've opened it for the first time.

So the job was for a web developer, specifically.
We needed a person who was very confident with PHP, JS, HTML, CSS.

This dude comes in, he says he's confident with all of them, we ask him how he would solve a problem we're having and he answers just like we answered the first time. Which is a good start.

By the end of the interview, he just says: "ok, but like I'm not here to work as a developer"
"WTF are you even here for, then?"
"To work on anything else than that"
"But we just need that"
"I won't do it"
"Ok, then, bye"

CEO: Can you make this and this
Me: Yes!
CEO: That's great, you can start working on that
Me: coding ... testing ... coding ... finished
CEO: Great it works, but can you explain to me what are the benefits of this
Me: ..... (why did you ask in the first place)

So we where given a project with a deadline already set behind our backs and we have to give our deadline despite not knowing wtf we have to do exactly ...

They asked us to don't ask too much time because the budget can't afford too much time...

I'm here thinking: WTF?!
THEY PASSED A FUCKING DEADLINE AND PRICES TO THE FUCKING CLIENT WITHOUT ASKING ANY! ANY MOTHERFUCKING DEV ABOUT IT!!!

We asked them so many fucking questions on the first meeting that they were fucking baffled about everything but kept playing cool like "well, this project is already set and we are gonna have to deal with it"

Bunch of motherfucking stupid cock suckers , go die agonizing on your own vomit and if ask my help I'm gonna answer "well, you gonna have to deal with it because you are already fucked"

!rant

First day on the job. Get Windows 10 laptop. Ask if I can use Ubuntu.

"Well everyone else is using it so I don't see why not"

So. Much. Win!!!

First rant here. Long, but please bear with me:

So after slogging my ass off in various early stage startups for over 4 years and keeping up with the almost non-existent development process, I joined an organisation which has some of the brightest and smartest minds I have had the pleasure to work with.

Mind you, this company is the market leader in it's field and has a 50+ people in it's tech team and the quality of work is pretty impressive.

Now for this week's sprint, I was asked to develop a feature which already exists on the Android app and they want to introduce in the iOS app too. The backend APIs are all in place and all I need to do is build it with virtually no dependency. My PM asks me to start with the UI and ask the backend dev for the API list whenever I need them.This is where the story turns.

For my first API, I go to the backend dev and ask him to share the API documentation and he looks at me as if I have asked him to dance the fucking cha cha. With a straight face he tells me that, 'The organisation doesn't maintain any kind of documentation for it's APIs.' Now this really shocks me. Even in a 5 men tech teams I have worked on, we have always maintained a spec doc for the APIs and this is a company which is known for it's tech practices.

Being the new guy I compose myself and ask if they have anything for me here: Postman collection, a workflowy doc, a goddamn txt file; anything which might help me, and he laughs at my dilusion and says no.

Dejected, I ask for a way to get the APIs and I am told that there are only two ways: either I keep bothering the Android dev for the APIs(No, I don't have the access to the android repo and nor am I gonna get it) which he had worked on 4 months back or I install the prod app on my phone, and use Charles to get every fucking API which is really, really annoying.

I thought writing out this rant would make me feel better, turns out it just made me angrier. Why the fuck can't they document such an important thing!?

HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?

Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.

HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.

Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks

$ rant --not-a-rant

I made it guys

I know this might not be a rant but Im sure nobody will understand this better than my fellow ranters/devs

Four years ago (16yo) I learned about a software development company in my city and Ive been wanting to.work for them ever since, at first I couldnt because I need half college credits, after because I landed a way more comprehensive job, but now I start on monday. The thing is few people have landed a dev job there as students because of what they ask but I MADE IT.

Thanks for reading this far.

Coding won over my first girlfriend!

My senior year of high school I taught myself C++ and thought it was the coolest thing (lol). So I wrote a stupidly simple program that would ask your name and output a random riddle. But if the name was hers it was a riddle in which case the answer was "a date". Looking back, even if she was on my robotics team it was the nerdiest thing.

We dated for 8 months and broke up as friends. But to this day it provides a great story as I pursue software development.

So my friend and I are trying to launch his bot in his Discord server. I'm typing node index.js: nothing. He tells me to delete the points.json folder. I try launching it again. NOTHING. I then ask him what I do then, so he sends me another .js file. Well it turns out I didn't have Node installed in the first place when I thought I already had. Give if take a good 10 minutes later, the bot is online. My favorite commands don't work because I was missing those files.

I'm such a fucking moron! I had a programing test at university today, there where two excercises and two hours time. Finished the first one within 20min, but couldn't crack the second one. As time went by, I got more and more nervous. My hands started shaking. I couldn't think straight. I should just have steped outside, ask for a bathroom break, whatever. But no, I wanted to solve it!
Went home after the timelimit. Sat down, wrote the same thing I had in my head, compile, test and would have gotten all the points. I was able to do in 20min when relaxed, what I wasn't able in 1h 40min.
Fuck me.

After almost 3 years of hard work here’s my Bedroom setup. I produce music as a hobby in addition to dev’ing and 3d graphics(blender/VR/opengl) stuff. Sorry for the unmade bed 😅. Build my first custom pc last October

- I7 7700K
- Asus OC 1080ti
- 32 GB DDR4
- 2 512GB Samsung 960 pro (one for each os)

Feel free to ask about anything else

A few years ago I was in rage because I could not find the second page of my mobile provider invoice. So I called the support hotline to ask for the second page. Then he just asked: "Have you tried to flip the first page?" and I had to reply "oh, well...".

Management knows shit about managing.

They ask us to do x and one month later they have the first meeting to discuss it... They didn't even plan it, only asked.

Its like asking a hamburger at Mc Donalds and letting the kind of hamburger for when it arrives:

"Hey, I want a hamburger"

Mc. Employee: "Which one , sir?"

"Doesn't matter, when it arrives we decide about it, just go on, chop chop"

So making a website for my best friend who soon to be my girlfriend.. I sort of had this idea where I'm going to ask her out and the links are the letters that I wrote to her when we first met. Cheesy I know but give me your thoughts and opinion. #noobwork. About it. Or what should I add or take away.. kinda nervous.

Monday morning, went to the local grocery store to get myself some croissants and 2 bottles of wine.

Cashier: "Already at it in the morning, you sure about that?"

Me: "Long story short, I've got a Wi-Fi driver from Intel to debug and rewrite, and it's a fucking piece of shit.. can't go at it without hitting or preferably exceeding the Ballmer Peak... Also I'm awake since yesterday evening already."

Why even ask? Yeah I'm a fucking alcoholic, and guess why that is.. stupid nontechnical fucks, certified enganeers like that motherfucker at Intel who wrote this pile of garbage called ipw2200, and technology that can't be arsed to work properly on its own unless I build the fucking thing myself, just to name a few reasons.

You know what, fucking piece of shit from Intel, whoever it is? How about I let you choke on my dick while fucking hanging you with a sharp metal wire that's carrying 2kVAC from a microwave transformer, just to see whether I'd nut first, or you either choke, get electrocuted, or get your fucking throat slit first. Certificates aren't an excuse for committing this fucking pile of shit and calling it a fucking product!!

Now, it's time to dive into this giant stinking fucking turd I guess.. first glass of wine to get myself prepared for the shitstorm that's a giant 20k LoC C file with barely any comments, to look what the fuck causes this fucking pile of shit to disconnect and ask for WPA credentials after a while, despite having them stored.. and not reconnect after that, because why the fuck would you?!

I love when job postings are like, you will use THIS tool, and THIS is how it will be accomplished!!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

bitch, i'm the senior engineer, I should be the one picking and choosing tools to match your needs, not you and HR pals!

no wonder your job offer still isnt' filled!

i'd love to ask these organizations why they chose such boomer technologies in the first place and why there is no effort to change to much more developer / user friendly tools.... just a red flag from the start

A few interview tips from the other side of the table:

1. Bring a laptop

I mean come up man! Bring a laptop. Especially if there was some kind of project or challenge to present. I have seen so many people do a big UI design presentation and then come in like “can I use your laptop???”. Of course you can, but your looking very unprepared.

2. Ask for clarification

Communication problems happen in business every day. Different cultures and accents can cause issues. The important part isn’t wether you understand everything said but that you ask enough questions to make sure you eventually understand. Most people just wrongly assume things and start rambling.

3. Know what kind of company you and talking to

In my case, this is a startup. We aren’t IBM or Amazon or Google. We work hard and we play hard. Work life balance is important in life but if your very first question is “work/life balance???” then you played yourself. Wait a bit, pepper it in on the sly. Just don’t ask it right away, it shows us that you aren’t ready to work harder than usual if needed. Maybe try “so how do you like working here? How are the people, hours etc?” Or something besides the first question being a bad signal.

Just some random tips for an interviewer.

From me to you, don’t make me have to tell you like DJ Khalid would ...

Congratulations, you played yourself.

Interviewer: Do you mastering PB? Because this company always use PB.
Me: I good on it.
Int: Oh well you're accept here, welcome.
Me: Thanks.
...
*the first day I joined the company*
Lead. Programmer: Today you will code Java.
Me: Okay sir.
...
Then I ask what the Interviewer's "PB" means, and I got the answer is Power Builder. I think it's the name of the game I always play, Point Blank.
...
And I smile, because of my fool, I was accepted to the company.
....
*sorry in my bad English*

Don't be afraid to ask for help. EVER. Just use stackoverflow first.

My dad's old MS-DOS computer (can't remember specs) when I was 5 or 6 years old. This got me into gaming. I always had to ask him to execute the games I wanted to play cause I didn't know how to do it. One of the first games I ever played was Wolfenstein 3D. Was so scary I didn't want to exit the first room :D

When ever someone asks me to fix their PC I ask them to sit down next to me so I can show them how I did it. First thing I do is open up Google search the problem then look them dead in the eye and smile 😂😂😂. I Then proceed to implement the fix from the first page of results. I don't get many repeat requests... I'm Such a passive cunt.😂😂😂

Made up my mind to quit my new job yesterday. Im constantly bored. Either I have no work assigned no matter how much I ask for more, or I get handed work where the solution is already identified.

Obviously gonna find a new job first, wish me luck!

That moment when you walk into the office on your first day, while setting up your desk they ask you which mouse you would like to use, and you respond "oh no thank you I prefer my trackpad" and the whole office stops what their doing and gives you that look...

Don't you just love cracking dev jokes and have that one special flower start with their:

"well, technically..."

followed by an explanation showing how much expertise in the field they've gathered over the years to be able to point out your joke is not 100% accurate.

Imagine them at a party.

- Knock knock
- Well, technically you wouldn't ASK who's there, statistically people would look first, but nice try

Started to do freelance with a group of 4. We got our first project for 4000$ which needs an engine to be to built in the span of 6 months. Apart from me no one contributed a single line of code since they where busy with their personal work/girls/party/laziness. I myself sometimes got help from some other people and spent some money from my own pocket and completed the project on time and delivered it. On the day when I received my money those guys came and ask for their fucking share since they involved in picking up the project. I gave them 🖕🏻🤬

Is that anything worse than this?

So this candidate came to an interview for a sys admin position. I didn't give my approval on the CV before, the HR department just sent him to the technical interview.

I began to ask him different questions related to Linux, bash commands etc. but he didn't know what to respond. Then i asked him about his past experience and he just replied me: "this would be my first job. I have some experience with administrating some Counter Strike servers and I was admin on a Metin server".

>.<

I got really pissed off with this company. Why you ask? Well, first off they send me an email for applying with them for a job. Ok, harmless. I wait a couple of weeks and they send me another email. I'm excited, perhaps I got the job! NOPE it's the fucking same email for the fucking same job. I half assed their application the second go around because I was pissed off with them. In their section about uniqueness I essentially gave them the finger.

HR: "Thanks for reaching out - your resume is quite impressive! Unfortunately, it doesn't look like there's a great fit at this time. We'll be sure to keep you in mind should our needs change in the future though. Good luck!"

Me: "It is unfortunate to hear, but I appreciate the reply. May I ask where exactly did I fall short, so I may be better informed and prepared for the next time I apply anywhere?"

Let's see how this goes. Biggest hurdle? Landing the first job, I swear :(

TAKE A LOOK AT MY OTHER RANT FIRST!

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So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?

You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?

You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?

Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.

What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.

According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".

Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr

Back in college.
We had this course in which we gathered in teams and worked the whole semester for another teacher building a product. We had roles, like QA, devs, PM...all the works.
I was PM and during our first presentation of the product to our teacher and the client we showed the work of our first month of work. At the end, our teacher asked our QA, who have been silent the whole project and hadn't answered my mails asking for tests, if he had found any problems. "Oh, yes. The whole site is broken. I can easily break throught it"
The faces of the rest of the group showed a level of surprise that made the teacher ask if he had informed us: "No..."
Our client, another SE teacher, started to laugh and that was that.
It was awful

I have teens in my classroom who want elite hacker status but complain about doing programming exercises outside of class. >.<

I explain to them that learning to code takes a lot of practice and can be frustrating at first. Some still went to the dean complaining that my class is tough. I work at a private school where open communication is encouraged and social justice is a thing.

So, I'm over here like "How do I reach these kids?"

I'm optimistic and I try different approaches to teaching and learning. Some stuff has worked. A lot haven't.

I figure I'd ask here: Does anyone have a suggestion for any creative programming exercises/projects that are beginner-friendly, legal, and hacker-ish? (I teach intro to Java.)

The weird feeling you get when you ask a colleague what he recommends as unit testing framework for C# and his first response is: "What do you mean by 'unit testing'?"

I wish my colleagues try to google first and then ask me.

I GOT MY FIRST CLIENT!! I'm not charging too much since it's my first client and I'm just focusing on the experience rather than pay. Were having a meeting Friday so he can tell me what he wants cause he didnt have all the info at the time. It's just a simple website and if he requests more when I present it I'll ask for more muns

!dev

T-32min

Long story short:
I dont have many friends, I'm isolated in my home, for the first time in 25 years I actually felt like my birthday is worth celebrating but Im alone because corona.

Therefore I'd like to ask you to drink a glass of your good (or other) booze at 23:00UTC (Which is midnight here) to celebrate the first bday party I never had and to celebrate DevRant as a great community and each of you, the members.

Am I the only one who thinks recruitment processes are lower quality the more the industry evolves?

I just shocked an interviewer by saying i’m not checking all their boxes from the ad, after being pushed by their hr to take the interview, regardless beeing made sure by HR thats not a problem.

After interview radio silence. i don’t get it...first you headhunt someone, spend 3 weeks in convincing for an on-site and then you can’t even bother sending a “Dude you are not what we look for in the end” mail?

Guess I ask too much from recruiters, did anyone else encountered this?

My company is providing cloud infrastructure to our customers. For research purposes we are running a little openstack cloud in our laboratory datacenter were we can test stuff before implementing it in the productive environment.

Last week the manager asked me to shut down the cluster over night and only power on the servers when we need it. (about twice a week)

The reason: it produces too much heat.

My answer was: No.
First off thats not how cloud infrastructure works, and how about a proper climate control?

Sometimes i ask myself in which parallel universum our managers live 😑

Why the fuck do people go to so much trouble to justify what they did instead of just admitting they were wrong?

The way I handle this type of people is to first ask a straightforward like "X implies Y, right?" If they answer "yes" I say "then this here isn't right" and watch them go around the world to find a justification for it not being wrong.

the most incompetent person that ever worked with me had no proactivity, always waited for an explicit order to start to do anything and had absolutely no autonomy. this guy would frequently ask me stuff that he could find with a google search.

when the IT team was let go, the company lined me up for another job, and my boss actually told me "you work well so i can refer you, but i can't do the same for <that guy>". i honestly thought that was his first job, but no. i have no clue how he managed to work in a hospital before that.

Fuckbug client has no brain but worse is fuckbug has not one bit of understanding.

I am a fucking developer not a fucking DESIGNER.

You are supposed to give me your fucking information. Information as in text and photos and documents that I can use with minimal modification for your FUCKING website.

It was fucking stupid of me to help you out with non-dev work in the first place. My fucking stupidest mistake of 2017.

Just for the fucking slider, this whole goddamn project is dragging for the whole 2017.

I even helped you out with taking the fucking product photo at your office with my camera so we can have decent images to use.

I stupidly helped you out with doing photoshop of those images with your product labels and stuffs.

But in the end, you fucking dare give me 1 properly designed image to use in slider. Then ask me to change the rest of sliders with similar design like that one. If you have that image why the fuck cannot you do the fucking rest by yourself and come and fucking ask me.

I fucking hate you.

# PROD

* 10 app instances running
* 1 instance starts burning up 100% cpu
* we ask for a Thread Dump (stack traces)
* we get a TD taken after they manually restarted the instance
* they: "Please investigate. We need this fixed ASAP"
* .....

EVERY FUCKING TIME!!! Not once in recent years have they managed to take a TD correctly. What kind of a retarded monkey do you have to be for this to not sink in for YEARS!

Who tf put those idiot monkeys there in the first place...

!rant
I just dreamed about a 6-year old kid looking for me to ask me what is a pipeline. A CPU pipeline.
I felt so happy to explain (I was that into computers when I was 11 or so) that I couldn't start, I woke up first.

Time to have a son/daughter?

Had a panic attack during a coding assignment and now every time I think about that problem I just start spacing. Noice.

Also dear companies: if you wanna ask your interviewees about trying to deduce a theorem out of nowhere, maybe do it in the first test and not in the last one. Cause that’s a shot in the dark to someone who’s not a mathematician and id feel waaay less frustrated if I didn’t give you 6 hours of my life just to end up with an arbitrary task like this.

Once upon a time, in a proprietary e-commerce framework used by few hundred sites...

I just took over a project where the previous developer stored password in two separate fields.

password & password_visible

First was encrypted and used for authentication. Second was plaintext password and was shown in the admin panel.

Hope to meet this god someday, I'd sure ask why the hell did he use encrypted password for authentication anyway. 😂

Idiot people...
Today someone asked me how long I programmed for iOS, Told him I started really mastering iOS development since Swift was released, as I didn’t really focus on Objective C. He told me if I need any help, just ask him as he develops for iOS since two decenia... He calls himself a Senior web developer. First of all what has web development to do with iOS? And how the f*** can he program for iOS if it didn’t exist at that time.
It’s not because I’m a student I’m that thumb...
learnt the lesson not to believe everything everyone sais.

As the first and only dev in our family[including relatives], I find it really hard to answer them whenever they ask me about what it is that I actually do at work.

You know what irks me is whenever people ask me how to do something without Googling it first.

Like ffs whenever I Google the same issue because I don't know the answer either, it's literally the first fucking result. Like damn bruh.

I don't mind helping people at all, but please at least try to be an adult and Google the fucking question first.

A dev posts a link to his website on a dev group I admin, first thing said site does is ask for my location. I look, no map not logically apparent reason for it, so I close the site.

Ask they guy why he is asking for such private info and he responds to tell me that he does not think a person's exact location is that private, and if he really wanted it he would just use the IP address.

Like how many fucking levels of dense is that.

Project Leader is explaining to teammate how their UI will call my API and it'll run asynchronously in the background. UI guy asks: about error handling? I said the callback listener will be notified if anything goes wrong. I ask the PL, what next? just log and forget about it (that's my sarcasm)? How would anyone know this has failed?

PL says: good point and can worry about this later. Lets first focus on getting things to work.

You know later never comes. Well, except when the customer reports a problem. Its like every disaster movie you've ever seen before

Friend : hey! I wanna buy a laptop.. range is about entry level nothing hi fi! But it should work for 3-4 years.

Me : sure.. give me a few hours..i'll get back.

*Looks all around foe the best thing in that price range.

*Sends a list of laptops ranked based on value for money.

Friend : bought it! Yay! 😎😎😎

*Buys the shittiest laptop they could find at that price range with an absolute old age processor.

Why the fuck did you even ask me at the first place? Fucked couple of hours for me.

On my last project the customer gave really high reviews and asked me back as a senior engineer. First day back I meet the new PM and ask what I'll be working on.

He responds, "We have a printer that's not working..."

Of course I'm like wtf but then it quickly becomes apparent I'm writing the interface instructions between the software and printer....

Still, I'm back as over priced tech support to fix a printer!

Last year in my first lesson of informatics:

Me: “What does return do?”
My teacher: “If you start your program, Windows will pause and run your program. If your program is coming to the end and hits the return statement, your program will stop and Windows will run again.”

wtf

(I already knew the right answer but I wanted to ask him this question.)

New project, sent a 7 page contract to the client. First day of work and client begins to ask things outside scope and terms.

I explained what is written in contract and he interrupted me saying "I READ THE CONTRACT".

One minute later, he starts asking the same things again.

So met a guy today in college and it was his first day in class. He told me that he is working as software engineer and having 4 years of experience and primarily works with Java lang.
We do programs in Java for practicals and I'm not good with Java (I fuckin hate). I thought maybe I can ask for help from this guy if I'm stuck. And so the practicals started.
And guess what the guy did not know how to compile Java program on 'cmd' and was seeking help from other guy. I'm like what the actual fuck. How the fuck he has 4 years of experience and can't compile a program. Can't even able to set path. Total idiot. Fuck this shit.

Spent about 3 hours arguing back and forth with a QA engineer on what a particular API call was *supposed* to do. It actually got a little heated and probably bothered me way more than it should have, but in the end he comes back with "well why don't we just ask the dev that wrote the code in the first place". Guess who that was?

FIRST RANT: When someone tries to scam a CS major...

Ok, so today I received a msg from a super hot guy on Grindr (that's right, I went there >_<). We chatted for a bit, traded some photos, his full frontal matched his profile pic so I was impressed. Then suddendly he asked me if I could "check out his fanpage" through a link that he will send to me..

"Mmmmmmmm that sounds like a scam bruh."

The mofo didn't give up and even had the nerve to try and assure me that "scammers will ask for money upfront and they're usually from another country (WTF??)"

"DUDE, I'm a Computer Science student! Not particularly fond of links!"

And then he blocked me. HAHAHA #DODGEDIT

Why would you ask me the diferrence between parseInt and parseFloat? When you were the first person who was unable to fix the decimal to two using parseFloat? 😝

Company: We want to attract lots of new talent.
Employee: First, try to retain your existing talent. Please treat them with respect and give them every now and then challenges they deserve.

Please ask the attrition rate of every company you interview with.

Being the wanting to learn a lot student I asked a ton of questions, my first programmer lecture would instead of answer my basic answers said she'd get back to me tomorrow, never did.

She also in the tutorials would when would ask if I was doing alright with the exercise would at "hang on let me get the answer sheet".

I never saw her for semester two.

Once I was told to interview a junior dev. It was my first ever interview from the side of employer, so I hope this story will never appear here told by my vis a vis. Ok, to the subject. Position of jun iOS dev. It was so long time ago, the manual reference counting was the only option on a platform. And I ask her, to describe how the manual ref counting actually working. She cannot answer this. I try to split the theme in to a pieces and ask more precise questions, about this or that situation, what should happen, or at least how she thinks it may work. She cannot answer this as well. Technically for me it was the end of interview, but I cannot give up on her that easy so I ask her to tell me what she is doing on her current position and we had spoke for another 15 min. TLDR she has failed.
Next year, another company, interview for the same position, the same people on the scene. So, I remember her, she remembers me. We both know the question I will ask. TLDR she has failed on the very same question.
Oh god knows how bad I feel after rejecting her second time. But I was little more experienced with the interviews and I was sure this question should not be a problem to those who have little experience on a platform.
Several years has passed. Another company. I’m about to jump to the next company and project managers are doing their best to fill the position with ANYONE as it’s a big fight for developers at the moment. So they have found a junior inside the company who wants to try. And SAME PEOPLE on the scene. Same question on a table. And some other questions, and more. So she’s got that job.
After many years I can say she could have a job from the first time if only I try to question her about other sides of day to day code writing. It was just me - not very experienced interviewer and not very experienced mid developer. I only hope she is not hating me a lot.

Oh my God. Did any of you catch Sundar from Google being grilled by Congress yesterday?

It is so embarrassing watching congressman who think they know technology ask questions did somebody who actually is technically proficient. you would think they would have hired somebody at least to educate them first before looking like an ass on TV.

It look like I asked my janitor to interview our next developer.

So funny though over his left shoulder there's a guy that looks like Sir topham hatt from Monopoly. Hahahahahahh not kidding black top hat and big white mustache.

Right so I'm new here. I don't really bitch much. Just want to see what it's like.

So I was hired supposedly for my java skills. I've been here 11 months. I've written exactly 0 lines of Java. On plus side I have gotten the opportunity to learn c# on the job but on the downside I spent my first 6 months fighting to get admin rights. I'm on my fourth company laptop (don't ask) and every time I have do the fight again. So I wound up doing a lot of not-programmer-stuff while I was waiting on admin rights. Apparently a lot of this is now permanently part of my job.

I was chatting to one of the more senior guys in another team here and he said he hated the first few years of his career, just doing "stupid front end stuff, move this box over there, make that button look pretty" meanwhile I'm sitting here wishing I could have the chance to at least be writing code

Lead messed up the Git workflow (New repo), ask me to fix it. And when I said that we better do it from first properly, asked me if I even know git 🙄 Feel insulted.

Company wants me to give a rough estimate of developing a new feature in a distributed legacy monolit. They told me they would inform me the next day and want the estimate on the same day for a project that will probably take 2 devs 3-4 months. I ask for more time and info, give the estimate and they say it "feels too much". I mean ok. Then why am I even estimating? If in the first place the client has only X money than do the project for X and it doesn't really matter how much work it is, does it?

I just had my first "Group project"-experience and holy fucking shit am I about to explode right now.

I messaged you one fucking week before the project is due and ask for your input that none of you contributed to and if that was too advanced for you imbeciles to handle then HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THREE MORE FUCKING YEARS IN CS. THEN YOU HAVE THE DECENCY TO RESPOND SIX FUCKING HOURS AFTER THE PROJECT IS DUE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WORK.

WELL GUESS WHAT YOU FUCKING WASTE OF MOLECULES, I ALREADY TURNED IT IN AND THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IS PUTTING YOUR FUCKING NAMES ON THE PROJECT.
I DRAGGED YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE FINISH LINE AND THEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG"?

NEXT TIME AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SPIT BEFORE YOU FUCK SOMEONE OVER

My first rant :)

It's only 2 months I work as a developer, and i get so frustrated when at meetings my boss doesn't consider me or doesn't ask me about my work, and instead he asks others about things I am doing..

She asked for it...

Me: being happy with my first rant, scrolling through the app on mobile in bed
Gf: aah are you now on instagram for nerds?!
Me: ... (sudden realization how 'our world' may be perceived by muggles)

'5 minutes pass, both on mobile'

Gf: hey can you help me get this *feature* to work on my iPhone?
Me: why don't you can ask for help on your photo platform for cool people?
Gf: ... (sudden realization to be nice in order to get help with iCrap)

True story

(This happened a few days ago:)
First day on the job, last session of debriefing, HR comes to explain us some company policies.
Among them, they want us to fill in our working hours using a smartphone app (Android & iOS only).
I raise my hand and I ask them what can I do, since I have a Windows Phone.
HR lady's face is striken with sheer terror. Since then, I'm known as the "Windows Phone Guy"... 😁
I'm more than proud of myself. 🙂

P.S. We also got some cool Windows tablet to use during our training period...

My first dev project was making a small 3D engine in GameMaker 7 when I was 14. I had been using gamemaker for two years then but I never got past the "platformer movement and collisions" and "top down movement and collisions"

It was the first thing I made myself without following a tutorial and spend quite a few afternoons at school to ask my Math teacher to explain things like sin cos and tan. Words I saw on the internet but did not understand.

One day when i'm working in starbucks enjoying my coffee and music. suddenly random stranger came to me and ask what am i working on, so i told him i was working on my website project. and my first thought was this guy apparently a developer too, and turns out i need to drop that away as far as i can. since he said he using VS-Code (what i use) since 2012 -_-.

For the first two years of college or so, my dad would often ask when I was going to start taking apart computers in classes.

"Dad, we don't do that."
....
"No, I'm learning about the software aspect."
...
"Never."

I found weird that some developer never ask why when facing a problem. "What do you mean never ask why?" here some story.

Let's say a developer work with simple app. Laravel as Backend and Postgresql as Database. He face a problem that the app very slow when searching data.

In order to solve that problem he implement cache using redis but he found problem that it fast occasionally. In order to solve that problem he implement elasticsearch because he think elasticsearch very good for search but he found another problem that sometimes data on postgresql out of sync with data on elasticsearch. In order to solve that problem he implement cronjobs to fix out of sync data but he found another problem that cronjobs cannot fix out of sync data in real time. and so on...

Do you see the problem? He never ask why the app slow. Which part search the data? Backend or Database (Search in the Backend mostly slower than Database because Backend have to get all data on database first). Has the query been optimized? (limit offset, indexing). How about the internet connection? etc.

For me it's important to ask why when facing a problem and try to solve the problem as simple as possible.

How are practical exams conducted in your university (if you're still a student)?

I'm dreading tomorrow. So I have a practical exam tomorrow and usually in my university, they first ask us to write the solution code on a paper, get it approved from the invigilator (who by the way ignorantly approves everybody's code without checking) and then only we are allowed to actually execute our code and get it approved again from the examiner.
It's been three years now and I still don't get the point of first writing the code on the paper (as if we didn't already have theory exams expecting us to write it all on paper) and then executing it....

I've had it with these automatic updates that I didn't ask for, especially when I'm trying to switch my machine off!
How about asking me first if I want that damn update?
Why do they have to be shoved down my throat?!

That's it! I'm switching my OS!

There was a workshop about git in our university and I was the teacher.
After teaching main concept of version control and git commands I was talking about open source community and github repository. First I should notice /pul/ in my language means money.
When I was talking about pulling changes from repository one of the student raised his hand and ask me "Why they would give us money?"
After seconds of silence I had feeling between laughing and crying

Do you know that feeling when you ask for help in a chat or board and some guy posts a link to the first google result by just googling what you asked?

I mean does that guy think that I can’t use google?

I wouldn’t ask for help if the answer could be found in google in a few seconds.

On the other hand you can’t be mad because he only wanted to help you.

Quick rant, I dont have time.

I have no idea how the fuck but I managed my IDE to show me that it's confused if my class "PackModel" is "PackModel" or "PackModel" (I have only one definition if you are hands first to ask).

its few years and first time when I see shit like that.

Fun fact, it was working OK until I used getter that was returning another object and than IDE got absolutely lost.

I had to use workaround in middle of nowhere as shown on image and suddenly its back fine with it. Not like it's returned by function hard typed and PHPDoc typed to return instance of this very object and in other scopes it just works...

It's Jetbrains so Im confused, it's robust IDE ;-;...

I went to uni for CompSci with knowing no prior knowledge.

In my first year of uni I created a DigitalOcean droplet to host an SQL server. I didn't change the root password or disable password login out of convenience and as I didn't think anyone would be able to find the IP address to be able to hack it.

Within 3 hours DigitalOcean had locked my account for using my droplet to send DDoS attacks. Support contacted me to ask what was going on. I knew nothing at the time so I was a bit 🤷‍♂️.

And that's when I learned the importance of changing your root password.

Will be having first experience as a interviewer.
I pledge that I will ask practical and fair questions and pull the best out of the candidate.

> Be me
> Using another country's public transit system for the first time
> QR reader can't read my bus ticket
> Ask the bus driver about it

"Sir, can I check myself in here?"
"Very high-tech system, isn't it?"
"Sir, I'm a programmer..."
"Shitty system then? Maybe you could fix it?"
(thinking: you're not paying me for this you bastard, and if you want me to get a manual for this piece of shit to repair what should've worked in the first place, you're sorely mistaken...)
"Probably I'm the kind of person who would... Anyway the ticket is valid."
I didn't bother checking the ticket afterwards.

All I wanted to do was get on your bus mate 😐

I had a question about a software concepts I didn't understand so I posted it to softwareengineering.stackexchange.com since stackoverflow would eat me for trying to ask for help with a concept.

I thought nothing was worse than stackoverflow...

I was wrong, in the first 2 minutes I got 2 downvotes and no comments why I got downvoted. I checked other posts...

All downvoted at least -3 and no comments why.
Congrats Software Engineering you stole the crown for most toxic community from stack

Here we go again. Months have passed since this client first wanted their website launched. But because they were suddenly and inexplicably in no real hurry to make it go live, we are now waiting for them to get back to us on whether to push to Production. Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and as soon as I told them I need the check by no later than April 1st, everyone over there is no longer answering phone calls or emails. Voicemail box is full and not accepting any more messages.

I think this would be the part where I call "Big Nick" and ask him to pay them a little "visit". If I knew someone like that.

Hang on... If online banks ask you for the n'th, m'th and p'th character of your password, they must be storing it on plaintext! WTF? I don't even understand why they do that in the first place.

Finally got a new laptop at work!
The first thing to do: install linux in it so the beast could roar free.

Download mint iso, dd it into an usb drive, boot it up in uefi mode, .... /dev/sda read error: -110. Fuck, must be smth w/ secure-boot. Disable it, rinse and repeat. Same error. Wtf, could my drive be broken?
dd iso into another usb drive, boot live env -- read error. THE FUCK! It's wildly unlikely my both usb drives died on the same fucking day!

Go to it admin to ask for an usb drive. Iso->usb, boot -- live env is up. My my, look who's unfortunate today :)

cryptsetup, install, reboot et voila, the beast is finally roaring!

First week at job as newly graduated from CompSci. And I feel like a fucking monkey trying to figure out how everything works, I have help from the main developer but it feels like I have to ask questions all the time and I can feel the judgement in his voice. Today I committed my first lines of code (phoneformatting) and he basically had to hold my hand the whole way through. I feel like shit atm, I really want to be good at this, I watch tutorials but when it comes down to it my mind just blanks out and I can't figure out how to even write a simple fucking method in php (which he did and my brain just shut down ). Please help me, how do I improve at remembering all these terminologies, I feel like if I keep it up like this they won't have me around for long.

!rant
So my boss told me they will be interviewing applicants and he wants me to come with.

Reading posts here on devRant has enlightened me on what NOT to ask on interviews.

But what questions should i ask then?? Any tips for me? First time sitting on the other end of the table.

First day went great. Got my laptop all set up. I still have no idea what I’m doing. Imposter syndrome really set in as of yesterday. Looking at the code base and seeing all of the code made me feel stupid. I understand I won’t know the whole code base.

It’s also my first developer job. I just feel stupid. I’m super eager to learn. But I feel like I’m going to ask a lot of stupid questions as well.

Idk how to feel. I guess a fraud would be the right answer? How can I get more comfortable at my new and first developer job?

Just spent over 5 hours trying to figure out Microsoft’s OneDrive REST api. Basically my first time trying to do POSTs n’ stuff. I got very very close, but the server kept throwing 400 error codes. Eventually I had to give up and ask Stack Overflow. Going to bed now at 2:20am. No worse feeling then not being able to solve a problem you’re dedicated on solving. :/

ok, well, I have a list of worst interview experiences. here is one. This was my very first job interview.

[Things differ with places, but where I live, we give a lot of respect to teachers, interviewers etc]

It was my turn for the interview and I forgot to knock the door. The interviewer didn't like that. But I guess he ignored.

I also forgot to ask to get in. So, instead of pointing out my mistake, he taunted me. When I was already in, in front of him, he looked at me and said "Yh, come in!" as in, you forgot to ask that. But I was already more then, just in.

I felt sorry, quietly sat down on the chair. when I was well settled on my chair, he looked at me and said "Yh! sit down please!". Again reminding me I forgot to ask him to sit down.

Should I have apologized atleast? I forgot to do so! So he reminded me again, "Oh that's okay! don't say sorry."

It was enough embarrassing for me already when I hadn't even utter a word. I don't give a damn about interviews anymore, but well, that was my first one! You must know that feel.

Well, he was quite happy with the rest of the interview, so at the end of it he told me "it's okay it usually happens initially. You'll get used to it pretty soon." I ignored that later but could never forget how it all started. 😂🎃

Hey guys, wanna install Linux first time, but had some doubts.
Config - core 2 duo 2.93GHz, 2GB ddr2 ram, 320 hdd, AMD graphics card.
Doubts :
1. After writing it on usb and setting it in usb boot mode, the system didn't read the pen drive data ... is it because of the writing software ... I used power iso.
2. What about the partitions ? Do they still remain and will the install guide only ask to format the c drive or the whole hdd ?
3. Which distro do y recommend... I had kali/debian/fedora/mint in mind
My friends complained about fedora taking 45 seconds to boot up, I don't know about the other distro's ..
Thanks in advance

My brother is so dense. He Spent the entire day wondering why his headphone port wasn't working on his phone, started bitching to me listing off reasons why he thinks the jack is broken.
I sit him down, ask if he tried turning it on and off again.
For fucks sake he didn't, litterally fixed the problem; the most default solution in the book and he didn't even try it. My god why can't people figure this stuff out.

Officially I have been assigned as the close and extended family "tech guy". Wasting my time solving issues that should be first nature in this century.

Ability to ask the right question the first time.

Sometimes the hardest part of development work is first understanding the question that’s needed.. the answer isn’t typically hard to formulate from there.

Well, this'll sound like my first rant but my boss did it again. working on implementing a new feature. but I got sick last week and took some time to recoup. well come into the office todat, tell him I'm going to finish it. he says okay. 3pm comes around and I go and ask him for some help on finishing it. he says "check out the repository, I already did it."

okay. I'm sick. you want it done. fine. that's cool. but you made me waste literally my entire workday doing something you knew was already completed? WTF?

Ask me in a few months after my bootcamp! I hope to have my first dev job! Scary and exciting at the same time 😳

Back when I was at university, during the first lesson of web development class, our teacher said: “If you have any doubt or problem, please ask me. The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask!”

A fellow student raised is hand and asked how to do printf in Java (it was totally legit as most of us only used C at that point and it was our only reference in programming).

Our teacher: “What kind of fucking stupid question is this?!?”

😳

That awkward moment when you phone IKEA Costumer Service to ask for the buCode that is used in their API to see product status in stores.

First I spoke to a salesperson and almost had to explain what an API is. The next person understood (after a while) that it is a 3-digit code that identifies the store.

And yes, I am from Sweden. 😂

Somewhere in my early teens, I started playing with macro scripts in Microsoft Word or Excel. After that I tried my hand at creating a full-on VB app. After creating several of those I tried Python, C++, then HTML, CSS and JavaScript.

Short story: My first distributed program was what I used to get my first girlfriend: A program that told her all the things I was too shy to say and ask the things I was too afraid to ask... Including "will you be my girlfriend?" Fun times 😄

*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?

THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY

Maybe i should start a new tiktok account and fake saying how im easily hired working a 150k$ a year job in some tech field. Copy paste generic advice. Talk shit about technology i use at my job and help people how to learn it. Etc. And then after a few weeks when people get to know me and trust me i start a course. Or buy me a coffee donation page where i scam money from people who ask me questions about my 150k$/year job.

Seen others do it like Baxate Carter. So i wouldnt be the first one scamming people this way. I have absolutely no morals of "scamming" people for money EXACTLY THE SAME WAY as all of these companies have no morals paying me 500$ a month, or not paying me at all.

companies believe it is MORAL to pay someone $500/month for a FUCKING BACKEND SOFTWARE ENGINEERING JOB WITH A COMPUTER SCIENCE DEGREE. if that is considered as MORAL then i too believe taking money from people to ask me questions about my imaginary 150k$ job as donations is EQUALLY, MORAL.

FUCK YOU.

Halloween reminds me of when I started my first tech job. It was a week before Halloween. I arrive for my first day. The front door that’s normally locked is wide open. It’s quiet. There’s caution tape everywhere. I think, “oh no, what happened?!” I debate whether I go inside or go to the lobby and ask security if they’re aware of a possible crime scene upstairs. I cautiously step inside and…everything is business as usual. It was all part of their Halloween decorations. I can laugh about it now, but I had quite a scare. 🎃

> do you feel sorry for freelancing contractors
> whose previous client abandoned them
> they ask you to help them fix some trivial bugs in the shitty code
> you believe you can change the world by going overboard by also improving the code quality, along with fixing the bugs
> initialize an empty file where you'll translate the shitty code into a more organized one
> start creating variables and generic functions which can be used in a modular and organized fashion
> meticulously document the first function you write
> realize this is not worth your time
> insert some glue code into the original code which fixes the trivial bugs
> glue code has hard coded values so it adds to the shittiness of the code
> submit the work
> get $$$

So I've been really Ill the past few days, like litterly been in bed for two days, popping pills like there going out of fashion. I contact work and get the typical "get well soon" so I get a message today asking how I'm doing (still Ill), I said I'll be back Monday and ask if anything is urgent that needs to be done first thing. So I get a list:

Project A: Deadline Monday
Project B: final review Tuesday
Project C: Still waiting on feedback

So I ask any chance we can extend the deadlines by a day or so I have enough time to catch up even though I'm going to have to rush it as I've been off.

Answer.. nope there non negotiable.. oh

So they want basically three days work done in one day, given the fact I still might not be 100%. Jesus Christ 😂

Quick Edit, I wasn't told there were deadlines.

Don't think too big at first. You'll definitely get there if you play it smart. Babysteps, kiddo, start with the babysteps. We've all been there, we've all started with all the hello-worlds.

Never trust a sole source of information. Always have doubts and double-tripple check with other sources. Some tutorials are misguiding, others could be solving slightly different problems than they appear to at the first glance

listen to the seniors/mentors. Seek for mentorship. This field is too vast to absorb it on your own. Mentors will help you there.

Before diving into coding make sure you know what you want to build, how it'll work. "I'll make it move somehow" is the straightest path to disappointment. Think it through, ask mentors for help if you need

If you're building an elephant, start with his front left feet's toes. Don't start with the elephant.

Always test.

Most importantly - have fun!

Sometimes, people you work for are just dump.
Someone ask me this:

"Can you help me find the 'e from the internet'?"

And by "e from the internet", she means internet explorer...

The problem was, she right click it and unpinned it from the taskbar...

Ps: it's the same person who maked me do my first Rant.

I always feel like a fool when I accidentally rubber duck someone - at least when I do it on purpose I've warned them first! What often happens though is I ask a question I think I need the answer to and then make the connection while they're trying to help me

Sorry, but if you ask a dumb question over IM/Forum/Email/any-other-internet-medium, I'm just going to send you a lmgtfy.com link.

Getting a location in android is so complicated:
First there's the permissions. Ok add it to the manifest. Oh wait, run-time permissions.
Gotta check if user has allowed the specific app to use location or ask for the permission.
Ok. That's done. Why am i not getting a location? Of course, user can turn it off from settings. Gotta check for that aswell. Or ask for it somehow.
Finally i should be able to get the location! Now, how to I use the Location service to get location in the most efficient way that suits for me? Or should I use the Google api.
Every answer in stackoverflow uses a different method. Oh well, gotta try out them all :).

Fuck you BBC, I just want toblosten to fucking radio and you tell me that I "need" to sign in.

I do not want you to tell me what to losten to. I do not want "relevant" content, just want to listen to 30 mins of news.

Then you say it is easy to signup, but then ask for my exact date of birth as the first question wtf ...

So i’m making my first Angular app here. I commited the first code setup and shot in the PR. I got 40+ comments so i’ve been fixing them all day yesterday.

A part of the comments i don’t understand yet so i ask if the colleage can watch with me and explain ehat how and why.

What does this nitpicker motherfucker do? Add more fucking comments to the PR and totally ignores my requests for explanation. Fucking anti social dick.

When someone (and this is typically someone non-dev and not a very structured person) says "Can I ask you a question" and, upon an affirmative answer to that, fires away a whole bunch of questions without waiting for an answer to the first of the questions.

Pleeeease! If you expect an answer, ask me one. question. at. a. time. Or write a freaking e-mail.

when other than IT people use linux first time on your computer and ask u where is "START" button and where is "My Computer "

still the most humiliating thing in the world is being interviewed by someone half your age for a job that is beneath you and being expected to answer their cookie cutter questions.

'how would you handle this'... well. first I'd start by putting my cock up their ass, and then when they said ow, i'd ask what was the matter....

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'D HANDLE IT ! JESUS CHRIST !

So today its my joining day and I'm laying in my bed with high fever and pain in my side belly . Manager was kind enough to ask me to join from Monday .
Fuck this shitty feeling .
(it's my first ever Job)

I hate dark mode!
Stop defaulting to dark mode!
Stop making documentations into dark mode!
Browsers should stop defaulting to dark mode!
Ask me first if I want dark mode!
Don't hide the switch against dark mode!

I know that this isn't the place to ask questions like this. Anyway, is there a easier way to do this? This code updates my age on my birthday. Also, first attempt to make anything in JS :)

SO is like my SO
Yells at me for asking stupid questions. Hates it when I don't Google first. Tells me I'm too vague. Shuts me up before I have the chance to ask.

At the end of the day I've accomplished nothing with my code.

As much as I love programming, I like to help others when they're in trouble with code (even thoe sometimes I'm not that helpful) but I hate when someone asks me for help and when I try that person acts he knows it all and that my suggestions are stupid... I mean why did he ask for help in the first place?

Most memorable co-worker for me is my senior dev at my first job. He is awesome. He taught me everything and he never complained even if I ask some basic things and never got irritated when I made dumb mistakes.. he just simply explained and ask not to repeat that mistake. He gave me one advice that never ever be egoistic about your code, Yes you can feel proud but don't be like I will never tell or explain to my junior ones. Cause of Him I am good mentor/trainer also :) along with developer. Thank god at my first job he was mentor.

!rant

I've been posting "dev logs", if you can call them that, to YouTube every now and then as I make progress with this funny little app I'm making. They're just videos of me testing something in the app with background music.

But today, someone was interested enough in my terrain generation, to ask for a tutorial, and I got my first subscriber!

Everything's coming up Milhouse!

We had a project with a web app and an Android app. We split it out, he took the web and I was working on Android. He was very curious to do the project with me and very motivated at the beginning. We agreed on our first module that was user authentication. After some time when I told him that first module of app is ready and asked him on his progress, (When ever we had a talk he pretend like every thing is going fluently, though I continously told him ask for help if needed ) he opened a folder in vs code containing two files "index.html" and "style.css" and showed me the "login & sign up" design he was doing for days. I have no option but to appreciate his work. On that day I created new folder on my machine "web application" and started working.

At my previous job I was working with cliets as a support for our application. One client had problem printing invoice so they caled. Was web application so invoice was first converted to PDF then you would print it.
I ask client if they have Abobe Reader installed. Her response was some thing like that: " I don't know what are you saying. Its is like you are talking chines."
I asked for remote access, fix problem.

Still don't know how they managed to use application.

Why can't my team including my boss learn to stop making assumptions... And mixing seperate issues into one...

If there's a fucking production issue, first step is to reproduce it... AKA ask what the user did and what he expects....

Not...
User: hey we call this url and get an error
Dev: ok rollback

"Most ignorant ask from a PM or client?"

I'm going to just say generally any ask with "a lack of effort".

1. Stuff like urgent / angry emails about stuff that already exists... like man if you're going to be a jerk in the email at least look first ...

2. Requests that aren't thought through. "I need X to happen." , "So you want X to happen?", "Oh gawd no, only when Y and Z and ... some other vague stuff!"

3. Requests with incomplete sentences... hard to do a thing without a verb or noun or both.

I find it odd that so many people find CS easy and spend so much time outside while still scoring well. I struggled a lot in my first and second years and finally adjusted to the amount of studying I needed to do in the third, and finally performed well.

I'd like to ask, do most CS people find their bachelor degrees very easy?

Holy shit sometimes I hate my job. Current assignment: translate a C++ COM class to C#. Requirement: interface should not change. I ask the other team using this interface to ask me any questions so I can address their concerns. First FUCKING thing they ask for: a diagram explaining how to access the interface. For. Fuck. Sake. The goddamn thing is not changing. At all. I have said that to every stakeholder every time. It's a changed reference and a tweak to some calls to make them .Net calls. Why am I redocumenting something that was documented years ago?

I am a single-pass compiler.
Why?
Well, when I have to do the food shopping for the week, I have a look at the buying list, keep the things in mind, go through the shop exactly once and everytime I see a match with the list, I put it into the shopping trolley.
Efficient and quick.
Soo, on the other hand, my girlfriend is a multi-pass compiler.
What that mean, you ask?
Well, she doesn't have any look at the buying list until she is in the shop. Then, she runs through the whole building until she finally finds the first thing on the list... and repeats with the next one until there's no entry left.
She needs three times longer than me for this, is totally exhausted after it, and, not forgetting, then SHE is angry about ME, because I wanted to have these "special" sweets she had too run through the shop twice for because she couldn't find it at first try.

Okay, it's FUCKing rant time.

FUCK single-file *cough* page.tpl.php *cough* drupal-sites

I FUCKing hate sites without any FUCKing structure, where all logic is built into the overall wrapping pageview file.

Spend more FUCKing time than healthy finding this golden nugget.
In a FUCKing 2000+ lines long file, in a FUCKing mix of inline CSS/JS, PHP/SQL and FUCKing exec(); calls.

Definetily the best FUCKing way to destroy a FUCKing lightbox, for people who are not logged in...
- Why would you even do that in the first FUCKing place ?!??! The customer didn't ask for this..

All this FUCKing mess because the previous developer decided to quit, and did not FUCKing care for the next maintainer to come.

Fellow drupal developers will know the struggle.

What's some valuable things you've learned this year?

I'll start.
Always ask myself, if I can elaborate on any given statement, otherwise just keep shut.

Always ask yourself before writing any code, if it's gonna be easy to modify later on, if not, take a step back and evaluate the bigger picture.

Don't bother with writing things clean in the first go.
It'll be much easier to refactor later on and take less total time.

First year of PhD over, no idea where my thesis is going, no friends who can understand, no one to ask for honest advice, no support, lab mates don't care, advisor is busy with I don't know what....... seems like I'm fucked

First job was as a student, but paid, which was great! Started with some training which taught me more about programming in 7 weeks than I'd learned in 4 years at school/college. Started with some proprietary systems, then moved on to proper web dev/browser based apps using tech you're all far too young to remember. I was instantly at home. So became my career (with lots of full stack experience picked up along the way).

About 3 months in, my team lead said to me (the n00b student) "I'd ask and trust you to do things now that I wouldn't ask people who've worked here for years to do." Meant the world to me... (thanks DH!)

At the end of my time as a student I was invited straight back full time.

I'm creating my first mobile application with React Native. Ask me any questions if you guys have any 😃

Every programmer's worst nightmare is when Stack Overflow says "You are the first one to ask this question".

Read docs, try, google, try, ask.
Do not ask too early, come up with something you already did when asking. But don't hesitate to ask when you're stuck.
No body wants to leave you on your own but you must try something before you ask.
Do not be afraid to share your opinion. It could be that your view is wrong then you need to correct it. But also it could be you have a point and it will be useful. The first will be helpful to you, the second to everyone in your team.

Hey Guys, I'm starting a new project for iOS. This App is for who have trekking or love to walking in to the woods. It record the positions, altitude and is possible to save your favourite places (with photo and description). There are also an SOS functionality that permit to return at home position (also without GSM or internet connectivity) and to ask for help (I still thinking how this can be done). I've attached first layout made with sketch witch will make it clear what I'll do.

Bad dev habit: code first, ask questions later.

Other than that I'm pretty much perfect <3

!dev

I hate family meetings!
I'm youngest in the whole family, everyone have a job but I'm just student in first year on uni.

Almoust everyone treats me like a child and ask me questions about school. I hate it!

Plus my mom brought MY electric guitar (cheap ST imitazion from second hand) which I have only for a year, to aunt's husband, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME! OK, he played a guitar and he had a band but still, IT IS MY GUITAR YOU SHOULD ASK ME FIRST!!!

Also I don't have time for practicing, so I'm not very good at it, I was so embarrased when they want me to play somethig.

OH GOD WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

P.S.:
Sorry for my english.

How to find out your boss really thinks you suck and that he was planning on letting you go at the first opportunity and hadn't yet figured out how to do it:

1. Realize that you're overworked and overwhelmed.
2. Proactively ask for a reorganization of duties and provide two alternatives with several helpful suggestions about how to organize the work so things still get done, but it's not all on you.
3. Mention quietly that you recognize a third option exists of no longer working there but that you...
4. The boss interrupts you at #3 and basically asks, "How soon can you write your letter of resignation?"

Damn, bro. You could have paused for a second or two before hitting me with that.

Oh, my worst dev experience.

First of all everyone know it, people who ask you to repair there computer 🤦‍♂️
Or people who say: "Hey Windows Media player is not working now. Fix it"

But the best moment and worst too is a moment where I present my new website and a friend start to refresh the site with F5 on his browser. I ask him why he do it and he answere "Yeah, you will be rich when I do it"

I don't get it. Why rich? So I ask him and he answere that websites are paid by web request an "clicks" "views" counter.

That was the stupidest thing I ever hear. Okay when I would show ads than maybe it's "true" but without them🤦‍♂️

But that's not the end after I explained him that it's not so he fucked me up that I would be very stupid because I don't register on a service which pay you for it. I explained him that the only service could be an ad service but no he don't understand it and try to discuss with me that a service like this exist. I ask for a link to the service and he could not answer.

For me it was the worst experience because for me it was the most stupidest thing ever and he try to discuss with me and really we discuss 1 hour about it🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Job interview pro-tip: when it's your turn to ask the questions, the first one you ask is "Is this job in an open-plan office?" If the answer is 'yes,' say 'thank you,' get up, and run out of there like your productivity depended on it.

Working on a project to create a space Invaders clone using Android studio/java. Point is to prove teamwork and our ability to optimise for a phone.

Leader makes the engine
Passes code to me who is doing gameplay.
Creating classes, testing them with a temporary activity class to get them on screen.
Okay, time to get it going properly.
Starts creating the game by placing aliens to the screen via the new alien manager, created in the true starting place.
Nothing appears on screen, sounds still play.
Odd. Repeatedly try to fix, but objects will not appear on the screen if created outside of temporary activity.
Show problem to leader as I haven't been able to figure out.
Gets lectured to no end about how I can't just ask him for help (first fucking time) if I get stuck!!!
Turns out, the value for frame time is way off for the first frame, and their positions get going way off the screens range when being placed. Temp activity works as it skips first frame.
Why did this happen? Genius leader didn't properly initialise it, so first frame time was equal to the First Date Object time ever locked - current time 🤔🤔🤔
We figured it out together.

It's been like a decade since I first heard of Kotlin. So wanted to ask:

Kotlin, Yay or Nay?

After graduating, me and my friends looked and applied for jobs immediately. Our first job interview consists of 2 additional interviews but sadly, I failed the second one (don't ask why) but all of my friends passed so I was really bummed out. But I still attended the final interview and surprisingly, they didn't know I failed and we all got the job.

helping colleagues like a troll:
AAA: anyone know what the blabla_type_id column is for in the trololo table please?
AAA: oh and blabla_order while we're at it :)
BBB: ask AAA .... he always knows these
AAA: :)
ME: I would say the first one is id of blabla type and the second one blabla order, isnt it? :)
AAA: you two should work in support :)

#yourewellcome #allwaysapleasure

Devrant isn't like twitter where every fucking tweet is either a recycled tweet or fucking irrelevant to your life. This is a good app for a change. I mean you can ask industry questions here and get great answers and insights unlike twitter where everybody wants to be savage. Maybe I shouldn't even compare the two in the first place but fr twitter is bullshit

Instead of ranting I thought it would be nicer to ask for opinions/solutions: How to cope with a collegue that keeps producing trainwrecks of code which you have to first refactor to make it work in a more logical/structured way? Yes, his initial solution works (in a way), but it's just not how 99% of the other developers would solve it. And yes, we've shown him quite a few times how it should/could be (in a positive and constructing manner)

Funniest Questions ask to Google Assistant

Question: “How old are you?”

Answer: “I was launched in 2016, so I’m still fairly young. But I’ve learned so much! I hope I’m wise beyond my years.”

Question: “Who was your first crush?”

Answer: “Siri.”

Personal favorite quotes from my cubemate...
- JIRA, God of Blunder!!
- trickle-down badge-o-nomics: when I have to ask someone else to lend me their badge because someone else borrowed mine
- Haskell users can kick a motherfunctor right in the monads
- You can't put monads in Go because they try to prefix everything with go-
- Always use live rounds when troubleshooting -- never blanks
- Equifax's Apache wasn't patchy enough
- I saw the last episode of the first season of The Last Kingdom
- You gnow it's good cause it's GNU

Go to compare two technologies. Ask google.
What do I get?

saashub
stackshare.io
slant.co/
g2.com/compare

Fuckign comparison sites, first 4-5 results, practically the whole damn first page.
And all their 'comparisons' are autogenerated masturbation or something keyed in by interns at yet another worth-fuck-all tech startup.

Googles search engine is fucking garbage too.
This is Advertising taken to the level of mental pollution.

Fucking assholes.

So people always complain about how people ask bad questions on StackOverflow, but it seems people on SO are also unable to properly read the question.

I literally stated in my question that I've tried using android's v7 SearchView and first thing someone answers is use the v7 SearchView, I mean c'mon, RTFQ

There is a big difference between IT and CS, the first has a lot of monkeys because most of the hiring managers don't ask technical interview questions that screen out monkeys... Probably because.... **Hmmmm thinking of a nice way to say it** They don't know any better...

I know everyone hates when people ask them for help with fixing IT related stuff.

I have a different approach to all similar questions. I don't get upset or anything, I just tell them that the device they have is a little bit shit, and suggest them buying a new expensive one that is better and will do all that. Your router isn't working as you want? Buy a Cisco (a real one with $1k+ price tag, not that Cisco branded Linksys garbage). Your printer isn't working as you want? Buy some high end Brother stuff. Etc...

After first few times they just stop asking...

Sales: Hey @chenb0x, we told the Client that you were a phone phreak and could make any communication device work.
Me: Well, I don't think that's such a good idea becau-
Sales: Oh, you can do it! Here's the equivalent of a black box and a pocket knife. Have fun!
Me: But, Sales I reall-
*click*

Well then..... t( '-' t)

Since everyone rants about interviews, I think that's the perfect time to ask this.
In a week, I'm going to have my first interview.
Its for an apprenticeship as "Fachinformatiker für Systemintegration".
For the non-german speakers, pretty much sysadmin,server-engineer, sometimes internal tech-support.

The company isn't a tech-company, but a logistics-company.
The interview will be done by the boss of the company's location and the lead of the IT-department.

So, what should I expect, what questions and such ?

Realising that sometimes customers just don't listen...or they don't even bother trying to understand what you are doing.

It's not the first time that a set of requirements have been agreed and then they turn round and go

Cust: "but we wanted it that way"
Us: "did you ask it for us? Cause it would have been in the statement of work..."
Cust: "no but sure, it won't take yous that long. So yous can still fit it in"
Us: fuuuu....

No matter how good things are going, a customer somewhere is going to fuck you over because "you should have known" about their requirements...

So I make websites on the side for small time clients for some additional income. And without fail every time I sit down to work on this one site something goes wrong. First there were problems with the hosting, and now the template that the client chose is no longer for sale. I hope I'm not going to lose them over this :( I've sent them a list of alternative templates and contacted the company behind the original template to ask what is up. Real shame because they picked what I considered the favourite too and now I regret waiting to fork over the money to make the purchase.

How much experience do you have in asp.net? Answered. Next question - How about web development, how much in that? These so called fucking tech recruiters in India are making this industry a mess. These fucking donuts have no clue what are they hiring for, study done on profile is next to zero and then they call you and ask you such questions.
The day was going pretty badly already and this tech recruiter calls me up and starts evaluating my profile and whether it matches with her clients requirement or not! So she starts with some basic stuff and then drops the said pearl of wisdom. After listening that question I went full retard in less than 3 seconds. But our miss mumbo Dumbo proceeds and asks me how many years of experience in xml and Json and whether I have worked on html (!!!!!!). You fucking knucklehead why don't you fucking first have a basic knowledge about your job first and then start dialing? You just caused me a massive migraine attack you dimwitted slack jawed idiot.

It's my first rant. So please ++1 me.

Now my rant:

In this semester I had a subject about system architecture. In this class, we must learn Java script, C# (and ASP.NET framework ), PHP (and Zend Framework 2), but in the classes is taught only UML and patterns. In the moodle of the subject we don't have any information about any of the languages and if we ask the teachers they don't know anything.
And we need in 4 weeks do a work with a widget in javascript, 2 Asp.net mvc, 1 asp.net web api. All with authentication.

So we are all fucked

You little fuck.......

I ask you how to get my access to some system and I get attacked with how did I dare to report issues to you my colleague was having w/o having my own acc...

This is the first time I have played the victim card in my life. Let's see how that works out.

P.S. it's a massive CORP so I expect some some wasp-nest-poked effect.

Got our snazzy new HP Elitebooks from IT. Nice lil laptops.

Guess how many apps they installed for us off the list of "Applications Devs Need" that was submitted with the original request that they asked us to provide.

Goddamn 0. 0 Apps installed. ”Instead here is admin access, install what you want.”

Being a PC guy I don't mind setting up a new environment but things like Office365 and Adobe CC could of been installed for me, I don't have the licence info offhand so now I gotta bug IT again and why ask for a list if your not going to install any of them?? Ugh. I don't have time to sit here while Adobe installs the whole suite....

/rant

What's the first thing you install on your new PC? I find I grab ConEMU first.

Do your colleagues read the emails or they ignore them like mine?
The usual answer is: sorry no time to read, place a meeting.

I do not want to schedule yet another useless meeting because you are unable to read two lines of text.
If I wanted a meeting I would have scheduled it in first place.
Why have I to lose 1 hour of my time to explain, then some cannot join and ask for a follow up meeting, where I have to explain again the same things.

Obviously during the first meeting nobody has even read the description and has idea of the topic, so "we need to check... schedule another meeting next week".

You can imagine what's gonna happen the next week...

A full stack php developer, PM me today who looks a lot bigger in age than me.
First of all, it was pain in ass and dick to understand what he was trying to ask for help. If cannot communicate in English, fucking use php ...Err hindi

All he was saying was, it's not working, and then added working. Inside my mind... "Is it even working or not"

At last I got, what he said. His nodejs application was running on terminal but not localhost. */ Facepalm..*/ 🤔🤔🤔Ass plam /* dickpalm

Today I was looking for a JSON to CSV flattener app.

I need one for work that doesn't send the data to a server... (I actually got in a bit of trouble using an online prettifier which apparently sends it to the server to format...)

But couldn't find one. Now I could code own... But wanted to ask first to myself the trouble.

I found a few but they were huge apps 40mb+)... and trials.

There was also a JS one but don't work well was the data isn't rectangular (objects have different properties)

Having a method that is only called at one place is ok, if you want to tidy your code (except that that hope is long lost in this project). But if that method usually returns an array, except if it's an empty array, then it returns null, but at the only call location you handle that null case specifically to act just like it would if you just had returned that empty array in the first place, then I ask myself: Why separate that?

Important thing I learned is not to listen to devs who suggest to learn a framework because its pointless

If i ask should i learn react or angular, some will say angular some react, and both have valid arguments why

When i branch to react and ask if i should learn nextjs or nuxtjs the same thing will happen

No matter if the arguments are valid or not people will prefer a framework they have been biased towards

All frameworks have cons and pros there is no such thing as "the one" perfect framework

No matter how framework is good people will always find a reason to take a shit on it

So from now i wont ask IF i should learn framework X, I'll ask for the order in which to learn it

For example i Know i want to learn A for whatever reason, should i first learn framework B or C?

I dont need your subjective opinion to tell me how B or C sucks and i should do D instead of A

Wanted to work from home as usual. Logged in in citrix with my credentials and totp, started rdp to connect with the bank.
i try it for the first time: failed to connect
I try it for the second time: error 0x112d (some thing about two programs that have an the same port open)
I ask my colleagues to look after the pc in the office and what was it:

FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE FILLED THE RAM COMPLETLY.
Luckily no data was lost, since i had everything important commited and pushed.

So there is this place I have been interning for a while. It's a health related project funded by an international organisation.

The first part was last year, June to Dec which was ok. The problem started this year, Feb to July. Despite signing a contract, I (along with other interns) have not received our pay which was supposed to be monthly.

It's unprofessional and frustrating. Moreso, some of my bosses are my lecturers. So guys, ask before you trust.