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Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.
*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......
*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*
Well, okay then.13 -
*client calls*
"hello, we forgot the password to our WiFi router. Could you reset that for us?"
😐😶😮😅
"We host websites and servers sir, we don't control your router :)"
"Right, i thought so, nevermind!"
Well, that's a new one O.o23 -
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I present you the API I'm working with...
That's a pretty fucking useful error description right there.
21 -
Client: Hey, you're the IT guy right?
Me: Hey, how can I help?
Client: Yeah for some reason I've lost power to my computer
Me: *Checks power, all computers are down due to a power cut*
Me: You'll have to contact your power supplier as you've lost power to all computers and lights.
Client: What, but the computers are not working right? - that's you're job not mine
Me: That's not how it works.
Client: Fix this or I'll bill you for the loss of money we've encountered during this and report this to your boss.
Me: How about I bill you for my time and advice and inform by boss that you tried to blame me for a power cut.
Client: You can try.
Me: *walks off and puts time in the ticket, requests purchasing to send an invoice*
2 Days later:
The client does not pay the invoice.
Me: (phone call) Hi, an invoice has been sent to you and we haven't received payment yet.
Client: were not paying that, you broke our power and made our computers break
Me: null22 -
Me: *staring at computer screen, not looking busy*
Boss: Why are you not working?
Me: I am, I'm just waiting for this thing to finish installing.
Boss: You do realize you can still do other stuff while that's running, right?
Me: Didn't you send me an article last week about the dangers of multitasking?
Boss: um...
Me: *now intently staring at progress bar..."
Boss: fuck sakes... *walks away*11 -
Girlfriend: "My computer is so slow!"
Me: "Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"
Girlfriend: "That's not funny, I actually need help."
Me: "Okay babe, I know you think I'm being an ass right now or tying to be funny, but honest to god half of what pays rent here and buys you so many flowers is me telling people to turn something of and then on again. Just try it."
Girlfriend: *Restarts computer*... "You were right..."28 -
My views on the github/MS thingy.
I've had to explain in at least 20+ rants that some people might have legitimate reasons/opinions for disagreeing with this deal. I find it quite bad that I even have to say this but that aside for this rant.
Microsoft is a commercial company which does a lot for open source, that's a fact.
In my case, I mostly look at the part of Microsoft in regard to how they treat users and user privacy as this, in my opinion, shows for a great deal how trustworthy a company is.
It's publicly known that Microsoft joined the prism surveillance program in 2007 which in my opinion also meant selling out all users.
Next to that, through at least windows 10 it has done quite intrusive user tracking which I also see as a betrayal to its users.
I could go on and on about cases but I've made my point on at least microsoft.
As for github selling itself to Microsoft, this most likely means that it'll also be integrated within the prism network. That's my main point of concern as to why I disagree of this deal and have lost my trust in github for selling to a company which, imo, has absolutely no respect for its users' privacy and has ethics I entirely disagree with.
I still haven't formed an opinion on the rest of arguments out there as, due to a medical thing, I'm hardly able to focus right now.
You might agree or disagree, that's your very right and that's perfectly fine. Just don't say that I haven't come with an actual argument/opinion as for why I disagree with this deal.20 -
*client complaining about an issue they've been having for a long time now*
Them: this has been going on for ages, if a solution doesn't come up soon were moving somewhere else!
Me: I'm sorry to hear that but in the last ticket I see that my colleague sent a message asking for information but you never replied?
Them: that's right!
Me:......... Why didn't you reply...?!
Them: we were so annoyed that we have this issue that we just didn't want to reply anymore!
Me:...... Do you realize that we can't smell or sense that its still an issue when you don't reply to our request for more information?!
Them:........ so I should reply again if I want this to be looked at again?
Me: yes that's be a goo.....
*click*
😶7 -
Wife asked if she could see my Python so I pulled it right out.
She yells, "That's not what I meant and you know it! Show me your code!"
Now apparently I'm in trouble 😂7 -
Saw a McDonald's today that's asking to be hacked - their menu sign's IP address is right there on the bottom of it (original image at https://i.imgur.com/P3sFGHE.jpg):
16 -
Drug dealer : yo, you code right?
Me: yeah, why
Drug dealer: can you hack into the police station.. You know, see if they are checking me out.. If they know I'm dealing.. I'll just move
(I've never hacked but I know i could learn if I have to)
Me:... That's actually brilliant
I love in a small town at the moment.. I bet the police security is a joke
Kinda high risk though21 -
A recruiter from Amazon scheduled me a phone conversation with a hiring manager. So I took it in my room, cozy in my PJ's, but the manager decided he wants the video enabled. And that's when I realized what he's seeing right behind me...
41 -
Security tester: Injects XSS into a rich text editor and flags it for a vulnerability.
"Oh that's fine, let's just disable right click on our page so no one can inspect the page and inject anything."
...
My boss ladies and gentlemen.9 -
Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.
Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.
F : But that's your job. No?
Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.
* Goes on to see the frontend *
I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.
Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.
F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!
Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!
Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*
Bastards!7 -
Manager: I need you to come up with a quick, temporary solution.
Me: Ok...but it will be kind of hackish and ugly.
Manager: Yes that's completely understandable.
Me: So again you say this is just temporary right?
Manager: Yes we will come up with a permanent solution soon.
*that was over a year ago and the "temporary" solution is not-so-temporary it seems*10 -
This happened right before lunch.
Me: hey, what languages do you know?
Classmate: i know python that's pretty much it. What abou...
Random fella: ...-yOU cAn TalK SnekK?!?!?!4 -
CIO: what kind of web server do you want for your dev environment? WordPress?
Me: Uhm, Linux centos running apa-
CIO: whoa that's dangerous you need to think of the people who are going to support this.
Me: right...
CIO: we're going to pick something and stick with it.
FML company is just starting to do in house dev. CIO is heavily involved and knows more than I do... My life is a Dilbert comic strip9 -
Dear Telegram, the fact that you're using a service which provides app usage/metrics/analytics kind of is not nice.
"But they've got the right to!"
Of course they do. But, when you advertise yourself as a messaging app focused on privacy, I expect you to behave that way.
And yes, we know your crypto is broken as fuck but that's not the point right now.
Oh and yeah, the next blog item will probably be about Telegram and how not-privacy friendly it is.22 -
*sets up BIND DNS server*
Domain name system..? Domain? As if it wants me to know my place on the internet?!! THAT'S SO OFFENSIVE!!! Change the name right now!!!
BIND? For real, a BDSM reference?! How sexualizing can you white cis males be?!! SO OFFENSIVE!!!
In the /etc/bind/named.conf.local I have to fill in a master type? MASTER??
🅼🅰🆂🆃🅴🆁???
🆂🅾 🅳🅰🅼🅽 🅾🅵🅵🅴🅽🆂🅸🅱🅴
Clearly technology is part of the patriarchy. I can't use DNS like this. Now where's my contributor's covenant?!19 -
Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...8 -
Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.
Me: Why do you need a proxy?
Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.
Me: Download the TOR browser.
Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.
So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.1 -
Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do?
Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable.
Boss: I hadn't considered that.
Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.
...credit~ dilbert.com -
I hate it when people say they want to "GET a new girlfriend"...
Shouldn't it be "FIND a new girlfriend"?
I mean you can't just go into the supermarket and get some butter, milk and a new girlfriend. You can't buy them. By saying that, you seem to me as if you're treating women as objects. I know it's technically possible to buy a girlfriend, but that's prostitution.
I think that "GET a new girlfriend" just doesn't sound right...
Your opinions?38 -
So I was applying for a research position in linguistic department, and had the interview today.
Prof: So you know excel right
Me: (show a project to him to prove I at least know csv file)
Prof: Ok so you know excel.
Me: Yeah kinda.
Prof: Ok that's good. Cuz right now we are using amazon Turk, and the data they returned, which are excel files, are not really the way we want it.
Me: Ok sounds like a parser can fix it......
Prof: Yeah.... the students in the lab are doing it manually now
(Dead silence)
Prof: Ok move onto next matter
7 -
Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...2 -
*reads JSON license*
"The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil."
Well that's actually a nice license.. if only nuclear research etc could be licensed like that.
Wait actually.. WanBLowS is using XML for its "diagnostic data", right? I always found it so weird that they don't use JSON for that.. but I guess that this is why 🙃20 -
A fun experience with a client:
Client: We want to use a database in the cloud without internet.
Us: Uhm that's not possible.
Client: Why not? You don't need internet to use a cloud database, because it's in the sky right?
.....
We will never forget our first client.
p.s. he also wanted to use his wifi printer without internet and cable
I pray for a future where clients have a better understanding of IT related concepts🙏2 -
Hey guys, dfox here. Due to many requests, we have decided that now you need only 100++s to get a stressball! Also, we've decided to make the collaboration free for everyone! That's right, any project you have in your mind, post a collab now to get help from other developers.7
-
Immagine that you microwave a burrito, and it turns out perfectly. But if you add one grain of salt to it, the microwave will blow up. That's what the code I'm working in right now is like...
😿🔫7 -
Website on sign off.
Client: yeah I just updated all the content on the old site but that's ok you can just copy and paste it, right?
Currently trying to formulate a reply that doesn't start with the words "For fuck sake..."8 -
The office toilet chronicles - episode 3
Someone left shit on the toilet seat. That's right. Shit. On the toilet seat.
This is the second time this happens. I'm working with fucking monkeys here. One of these days they'll start throwing feces at each other. I just hope I'll be long gone when it happens.13 -
I'M AN IDIOT.
I accidentally typed the wrong command when I was compiling my C++ code with GCC, and guess what?
My .cpp file is gone. The .exe is still there, but that's useless to me right now.
It wasn't an important code, just something I recently started on, but I can't believe I did something so ignorant.
18 -
Note to self: never ever touch the bugzapper that's busy zapping a mosquito! Always remember that there's well over a 1000 volts on there regardless of its power rating. Anything over 50V can kill you!
.. if only my drunken fool self would realize that. Seriously though.. the kick of a bugzapper's shock, it's amazing! Just like drugs however, don't try it at home. Oh well. At least not me but yet another mosquito has bitten the duster. Serves those parasitic bitches right!!!23 -
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...16 -
Guidance counselor at school: so what field do you want to go into?
Me: computer science
GC: what does that entail?
Me: programming
GC: that's like super repetitive, right? You're a smart kid don't do that
In my head: no you mf dingle-dong. That's the job that will take your job away from you in the next 5 years
Ffs, why do people think coding and entering data into Excel are the same things?6 -
I find it so infuriating when someone uploads a lot of data containing other people's data as well without asking those people if that's alright with them. (Contact information, address book, etc).
That you don't care about that/privacy is your choice, even your goddamn right but then please don't take other peoples right to privacy/their own choice away in the fucking process.5 -
Been a jr. dev at a company that's badly in need of more devs. So they hire a sr. dev to work w/ me. Dude's got yrs of xp over me, so he should be ramped up in no time, right?
Jk, he doesn't even know the basics of git. Also, his code is shit. If he's not let go anytime soon, at least I'll look awesome relative to this guy come performance reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.3 -
That's right you fucking c*nts! Put an unsubscribe button but still send me emails even after unsubscribing a million times!🖕6
-
I'm the only windows user in my office(my only other choice was Mac). One of the salesmen walks in my office with his macbook.
salesman: what do you know about macs?
me: nothing, why?
salesman: well I just got a new MacBook and I can't right-click, is there like a setting or something I gotta click?
me: well there's no "right-click" by default on Macs, but I think there's a way so you can click with the right side of the touchpad and get the "command-click" you're looking for. stand over there quietly while I finish this function then I'll look into it.
*i proceed to fiddle with some code for 5 or so minutes while he stands in the corner*
me: ok so let's look at your MacBook... ok *at this point I jump on my computer* let's see what Google has to say.
search: enable right-click on mac
me: huh! look at that! Google gives you the answer right there, poof! like magic. now we just follow directions, system settings>keyboard and touchpad>enable click with bottom right corner. bam! anything else?
salesman: yeah, I want the little bar thing to go away *talking about the dock auto-hide
me: ok well that's called the dock, let's ask Google again...look, Google gives the answer again, without even needing to click any links, I could probably click these links and get more in-depth instructions, but right here at the top is the answer
salesman: wow man, thanks! I've got a meeting in 10 minutes and I never would have figured this out.
*before he leaves
me: here take this...
4 -
Staying nice.
I care about the product we're creating. More than I care about the feelings of my coworkers... and that's not always a strategically sound plan.
Getting annoyed with someone rarely helps make them see things your way — even when you're objectively right, and they're absolutely to blame for all that is wrong.4 -
Maaaaaaaa man has been programming in Swift since 1997; assuming the description was written this year.
To put that into perspective, that's two years after the founding of both Java and JS.
I'm sure he's programming with his mind right now while we mere mortals are waiting for it to be standard by 2120 😭
Finally recruiters can hire someone with 20 years of Swift experience. This position has been void for awhile now... Catch up guys!
Hats off to you man!!!!
14 -
Aww SwiftKey, after two letters youre suggesting the right password, that's so nice of you...
Wait a minute... WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?
You're not a password manager and you don't do that with other passwords, what's wrong with you?4 -
I rarely codes in the morning, it's just not the time. I can't focus.
My inspiration comes at night. That's the right moment for me. I sometimes wish that my office hour is at night 😂
How about you?13 -
Me: "Team, we need to make a call. We have 2 options to deal with issue X: we either apply the mechanism A, sort the issue out right away, but risk creating another issue in the long run, or we take another path and try and change the process revolving around X to make it less painful if any."
Colleague: *calls me on Slack*
Me: "You, tsup?"
Colleague: "You said you wanted a call"
Me: *that's not the call I had in mind......*
4 -
"That's a frontend problem."
Really? And you call yourself the engineering lead? Oh right, "frontend is not engineering", was that it? Ok, thanks a lot for the help, you can continue licking your balls now. I don't know why I still bother trying to ask you for advice.5 -
Uh...all of them? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I used to work with a 'floor supervisor' who vaped excessively and obnoxiously. He had one of those things that made vapor like a space shuttle launch too. When he was talking during conference calls or presentations, rapt attention and respect were demanded. When anyone else was presenting, *whoosh*, big cloud of vapor, right in front of the screen, right in the presenter's face. It looked like the building was on fire ten minutes in. Opening the door was like getting out of a car that's been hotboxed. That guy was a douche.2 -
If there's anything I've learned till now then that's: You should know how to Google the *RIGHT* thing
Things I haven't learned: How to Google the *RIGHT* thing2 -
Me: *starts to get into electronics*
Me: *unplugs a few wires while building a project*
Me: Shit, actually, didn't want to unplug those. No worries.
Me: *instinctively reaches for the nonexistent Ctrl-Z*
Me: Oh, that's right. My actions have consequences in the real world.5 -
End to end encrypted (maybe decentralized?) social network including shit like voice/video/group calls.
Privacy site I'm working on right now.
Yeah that's it for now :)12 -
Almond, are you there?
> Sure, of course.
Oh ok, it said you were on mute.
> I was, I always go on mute if I'm not talking to help cut down on background noise **hint hint**
That's very confusing for the rest of us, can you leave your mic on please?
> Right... Okay.8 -
Got an email...
Colleague A (who acts like he supervises me because he's here longer than than I am but he doesn't) : Webpage is broken. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague A : Sorry I didn't pull the *other* file you committed (Yeah I know we're still on cvs...)
Another email...
Colleague B (who really is my boss) : Webpage doesn't show all records. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague B : Sorry I forgot check page 2.
That's all my development team. Right, development, not designers, or anything.
FML...2 -
!dev
I am about to move into my own house. Yay. But every ISP I called is very insistent that there is no house there.
"Are you sure you entered the right building number? The entered house does not exist." Yes it does! And it has existed since 1912...
Stupid Germany with its stupidly bad internet infrastructure. I guess that's what you get for privatizing the network.7 -
Interview question:
"What are your three most favorite design patterns?"
Me: "Huh? They're tools in a toolbox. If I want to drive in nails I use a hammer or a nail gun. Do I need to cuddle with them? I don't pick favorites and I don't try to solve everything with just a bunch of patterns. And I've work with a bunch, right now I'm drawing a blank though as this question highly confuses me and would like to do a Google search listing a few names as the only one that's comming to my mind right now are the factory and builder pattern. And no, not necessarily favorites."3 -
Non CS friend: I want to learn Hacking, and Hack Facebook.
Me: That's pretty easy, We'll start with Hacking Twitter today, then tomorrow Facebook.
F: Ya, thats ok.
Me: 1. Login into your Twitter account,
2. Open the account you want to hack,
3. Right click on the tweet, and click inspect element, and Change the tweet as you want.
F: Wowww... Man that's amazing...
*** He believed that he is a hacker for one whole day ***5 -
PM: Can you fix this issue with the file upload?
me: Sure, give me the file that's having the issue so I can figure out why that specific one isn't working.
PM: Oh... it wasn't working so I deleted it.
Me: OK, are there any other files that cause this error.
PM: No... it was a single case. You can fix it anyway, right?3 -
Employer: I want to make a search engine but only for our products.
Me: Sure. It's called an eshop.
Employer: You know that eshops are not engines right?
Me: Technology has changed the past few years. (hidden irony)
Employer: I guess that's geeky stuff. Tell me more about this.
Me: First, you need to upgrade your flash eshop.
Employer: (frustrated) You IT people always want to do things your way, aren't you? Nevermind, let's get to business, how can I make my site better?1 -
Got a funny look from someone the other day...
Turned out I was shouting at my monitor...
That's normal right?10 -
Friends' Boss: You're one of the programmers, right?
Friend: Yes sir.
Boss: I need you to fix this layout problem for me.
Friend: But sir, I'm a back end programmer, I hardly know anything about style stuff...
Boss: You're a programmer, you'll figure it out.
That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works.1 -
When you live in a 3rd world country, get a relatively expensive 16mbps connection (that's still very unreliable), and try to clone WebKit… why the hell is it so large even with `--depth 1` and `--single-branch`? Why doesn't `git clone` support resuming/incremental cloning? Is this even 2018?
I want to code but life is actively fighting me right now. I hate this.
/rant
26 -
I just blocked some of the top management from connecting to our WLAN because I was testing a verifing feature for said WiFi that kicks all devices not listed in the DB.
It happened while my boss/senior/guidance was trying to show them the advantages of a centrally managed infrastructure.
He covered my ass well and tried to sell it to them as proof of a secure solution, that unknown devices couldn't log in.
I feel like human trash right now, but that's what you get for testing in production.4 -
What am I doing right now? Scamming scammers.
I'm attempting to build a delicious Windows honey pot for scammers to play in only to be terribly disappointed by how buggy it is.
That's right mother fucker I've rigged this computer to not work on purpose!
Have fun trying to run your shitty programs and steal data that isn't there.
Oh by the way if you want to play in this playground it's www.scammer.info3 -
Front-end dev makes site look nice: "that looks great! Nice job"
Back-end dev makes site do everything useful: "right, that's how it's supposed to work"3 -
My little sister is running for Miss St. Patrick's Day in my home town. You vote via a link everyday. It looks like it is done via Angular and jQuery.. I happened to found the API that does the voting via their source code...
As a big brother I want so bad to add a few extra votes... but that's wrong... right?12 -
"How much info can we get from cookies? I want to get gender, approx. age and at least first name. That's possible, right?"
Me: "that's not how cookies work.. the info needs to be stored somewhere, where we can access it. It's not in guests cookies"
"How does Google do then? They're tracking everything we do.. *bla* *bla*"
- my business partner..........5 -
How clients tend to not understand how much work developing a "simple" or "small" feature can be.
Hey add live chat, that's easy right?2 -
What type of a college offering computer science course doesn't have programming societies and does not care if the student know programming or not?
That's right, AN INDIAN ONE9 -
Fuck air line companies.
They always lose your shit.
Like Ensiferum here. Airlines lost their shit so they they have to play acoustic.
Acoustic most pit motherfuckers. That's right. Acoustic. Most pit.
Fucking metal! 🤘11 -
-Problem
-searching everywhere
-complicated algorithms
-almost there ...
My little sister: hey! Can you install this game on my tablet?
Me: no! I'm busy right now
Sister: mom!!...
Me: okay! okay!
<installation process >
...
What was I doing?...
That's how everything gets ruined :/7 -
i know we're all sick and tired of the covid talk, but...
I'm so, so sedentary right now, more so than two years ago, and that's a feat.
this past week i had to walk a little and do some stuff, and today i woke up a little earlier and spent my afternoon in the sun. and it feels so good, to just... do nothing, sunbathe, pet my cat, kiss my boyfriend.
i never realize how much this shit wears me down until i catch a break. it's not just the pandemic though, it's this career, this lifestyle. sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours straight, no window in sight... that's death, no matter how much of an introverted nerd i may be.
if someone wants advice, I'll tell you to go out, get some fresh air, do nothing at all. we don't need to do something at every minute of the day, that's not resting. find a park, a beach, some piece of nature and just breathe it in, it's worth it.4 -
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
I think that's the thread dump of my brain currently.
Anyone knows what date and time we have?
I'm so lost right now.
17 projects atm thanks to e.g. Microsofts Exchange Hell.
I. Hate. Everything.
Go spread your butt cheeks so I can give you two fists of love before you write a damn ticket regarding yet another (security-) problem in infrastructure.10 -
Me : so here is your quote for the app
Client : oh yer and it needs to work in both android and iOS, that's not a big deal right?
Me : of course not, however I am going to have to add a little something to your quote!
I don't get how when I ask a client if I got everything right so I can draft up a quote, they don't think to mention stuff like other features they had an idea for or cross platforms they wanted but didn't say in the original proposal -_-3 -
Got a ticket form a client reporting a calculation giving the wrong outcome.
In return I ask her what she thinks the outcome should be and why.
"The right answer because I said so."
Yeah thanks that's going to help a lot. -
Ah.. the beauty of clean code.
I wrote a very cleanly written program two years ago. Proper variable names, not too many, right naming, right design pattern,.. Now I come back to it and I am able to instantly figure out the code again. It only took me half a minute.
The importance of clean code... that's something the industry needs to understand more. Well, then there's the money issue. lol5 -
I've been fucking around with arch since 9pm and now it's 2am...I have class tomorrow...why did I do this to myself? oh that's right because it looks beautiful.
5 -
When you accidentally run " rm -rf * " in the directory containing ALL you projects, not in the directory of a single project.
That's right. You just encountered THE DEATH STAR.9 -
I'm a bit tired of dev and applying for a customer support job for half my current income. During interview I already got promoted to technical support. Even dev job was possible, but I'm done. I've seen the wheel reinvented too much. Also, the looks of software became more important than ever and that's not something I do.
But I'm very positive now. I know the company already, they're great! Super culture! Always hired the right people and me once before as a py dev6 -
>Linux kernel setup compiles right
did I finally do it?
>boots
>about 1/3 of the way through it hangs the machine
...that's about right.1 -
The cool little startup that hired you right out of college/university, that promised your work will be recognized and well compensated?
Well, they'll end up complaining on why you don't work more than 60 hours a week on shit pay, force you to work at the "office" (read here one of the partner's basement), and retain your vacation pay from your last paycheck. That's not cool and also illegal here.
It's been 10 years and it still infuriates me when I think about it.4 -
How can some developers send emails like "I did <x> and <y> right, but I still have an error!" with NO copy/paste of the error? Come on, you hate user emails that just say "Your site doesn't work." You should know better.
I'm going to just start answering with "Wow, that sucks, and you did everything right, huh? It must just hate you." I shouldn't have to go force you to tell me what the problem actually is at that basic level.
I used to think this was a user thing. We wouldn't do that... hah, lost user, oh well, that's why we're helping them. Apparently it's not.6 -
Today I reached a point where I made an really bad looking, uneficient, unreadable function, but it works!, That's what counts right?!
Just kidding, I just couldn't fix it, hopefully the me from tomorrow will be smarter.7 -
Just had a scolding from an asshole behind the wheel for using my old BuzzyPazz instead of their new electronic system. I didn't go with the invitation earlier because I don't want a central server to know where I am, and when. Yet that mofo is gonna threaten me with sanctions because I value my privacy, and even showed that I'm a legitimate passenger that's properly paid to get on the fucking bus?! Catch the right "criminals", motherfucker!!! 😤1
-
For some reason, when testing if a block of code is firing, I always do console.log('fart'); More often than not I forget to remove it before going to production. I feel good knowing that's out there on dozens of sites right now.8
-
Ok, I've tried multiple times to learn it, but just hate React and JSX. I don't know why-maybe because I'm a not a professional developer yet and can't see the right use case for it? I feel that's it's so overly complicated to render some HTML. Should I keep trying to learn this or just work with what I like for my projects, then learn React later? ARGH18
-
Sure Amazon, 0.02$/GB * 0.000120 GB = 0.01$, not 0.0000024$, sure, that's right.
0.05$ for what amounts to less than 2MB of data transfer in total (there's two more lines like that in the bill).
Eat a bag of dicks.
Free tier my ass, if I wanted to spend money I'd rather use Azure.
3 -
That's the reason why I'm still using Windows 10 Insiders builds...when you get into GSoD, you can shoot nice photo where you actually are. For me right now, that's the cafe in the shopping center.
9 -
Ugh, I hate when customers refuse to pay for staging systems but then randomly complain about stuff that's WIP and not working as expected yet ...
"Yes, sir, this house doesn't have a roof right now because the basement isn't done yet."2 -
That's right guys. That's the mobile version of devRant with notifications running on Mac OS X. All through the power of Arc Welder for Chrome. Hopefully we'll get the API soon so that we can get this natively.
6 -
!dev (?)
Ughhh
I hate fucking school books,
My students get their books from the school, they got a 2014 edition, I got them from my employer, I got the 2019 edition.
"How different could they be?"
Totally different, the chapters are in a different order(Who learns classes before loops and conditions???) everything is different. "Okay", you might say, "surely it's just just a few pages prior or later right?"
No!
"So open your books on page 69(lol)" *Starts explaining*
Students: *Look confused* "ehm, Soldier? Are you sure that's the right page? I don't see the table"
Me: "Lemme check I'm not wrong" *Looks at the book* "Yeah, page 69, you see the table at the bottom?"
Student: "No?" *Shows me book*
Me: "Wait, that's not what I have, can you show me the book?"
*Looks at book, it's a completely different subject and chapter*
*Goes to ToC, finds the place where the table is*
It's on page fucking 98, this happens for a few more times.
"Okay forget the book, I guess I'l just draw everything on the board for now."
Fuck you book publishers or whoever is responsible for this cashgrab of planned obsolescence.5 -
Worst part about being a visual designer?
Looking at anything that's a pixel too much to left/right/top/bottom and not being able to UN-see it6 -
*types class name wrong, presses tab to auto complete*
Different class comes up from suggestions. The IDE automatically pulls in a bunch of useless imports to make your code work. Your code doesn't work, that's not the right type...
Fuck.7 -
That moment when you teaching your coworkers about vba:
Me: and you close the formula with a curly bracket
Co-worker: Wow that's easy, and you say coding is hard
Me: you're right, here try to learn Java2 -
Have you ever lost all the motivation for anything in life. Yes that's me right now. Can't even be bothered to right this post properly. Fuck everything and everyone.9
-
Client: my video player has two play buttons.
Me: ok that's weird let me check yes it does have two play buttons your right so turns out the client has taken a screenshot of another video player with the play button still on it and used that as their poster image hence two play buttons.
Finding it impossible to explain this to them arrrrggggghhh why why why1 -
So a new dev had an issue, if the wrong credentials are in the code it will crash because the unauthorised error isn't being handled.
I physically added the error handler, to his code, on his machine ... 3 days later it's not there.
Asked him and he says "sorry I must have deleted it"
... that's grounds for dismissal right? ... like ... seriously2 -
An entire platform was removed from Google Play, and may be removed from other markets too, not for something they did, but because of the POLITICAL ALIGNMENT OF A MAJORITY OF ITS USERS.
"the users are evil" you're right, let's ban Tor, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Twitter, Facebook, etc. because they've got a metric fuckton of "evil users" too. Oh. Wait. No, that's not how that works, is it?
https://usatoday.com/story/tech/...57 -
My new phone - the Motorola C Plus - has insane battery life.
Took it off charge Monday 07:30am with 100% battery.
It's now Thursday 11:00pm and it still has 10% battery.
You're looking at 90 hours Standby right there. Damm, Motorola.
I put it on Airplane mode when I sleep and have the screen brightness turned down, but still.
That's impressive.3 -
We've been using a recruiter who works out of the same business park as us. They purport to be "specialists in technology".
Somehow a conversation got started and I ended up explaining how we make use of open source software, where possible.
Their response: "That's the free one, right?".3 -
Okay, here's a rant for you: neo fucking vim and their fucking wrapper plugins for wrapper plugins for wrapper plugins for plugins "tHat'S wRitTen in LOWAA". The fuck is wrong with you, you fucking dumpshits?! Bram was right to not get involved in this bullshit!!7
-
When you can't sleep, because you are more worried about your code review...
That's my state right now... -
So I'm not one to show off something buuuuuuut, I'm a programmer and can barely draw a straight line let alone do pixel art, but I decided fuck it; let's try again and considering the left figure was the first compared to the right being the 10th, I'd say that's not to fucking bad :-D
4 -
Anybody can rant about stuff and get angry - that's easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
- Aristotele -
I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us1 -
!dev && !rant
@dfox and @trogus my so was like, wait... Is this like a thing to complain? That's awesome!
Wait let me guess it's for developers only, right? Why can't we normal people have this? :O7 -
Well that's it folks,
Australia has started to shutdown and become the isolated island it once was again, even more so with states shutting down independently.
Atleast we have the intern -
fuck, got to reboot the modem... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
where was i, oh yea -
internet right? It's not like the NBN wasn't designed to have every fucking Aussie using it at once or anything 🙄
https://abc.net.au/news/2020-03-22/...5 -
When you already have a huge deadline that's barely doable, and then your boss shows up with yet another task he forgot to ask you to do!
And of course this has to be done right this afternoon... 😵 -
Please just let me cancel my 1-year subscription for the end of that one year NOW without only giving me an option to cancel everything right now and still pay 54 € fee, that's not only silly, it's what makes customers shout FUCK YOU Adobe! Long gone the good old times, who needs your outdated stuff in 2022 anyway?5
-
One of the devs at my internship company decided to have a client's website load all of it's pages from the website's Database.
That's right, a PAGE as a database row!
And I don't mean having it get some of the info from the columns and putting it into the page's html with php or some shit. No, I mean an actual html file copy pasted and added into the database.
This company scares me sometimes.1 -
On top of all the shit that's going on right now... This morning my shower head broke of, so now I can/have to hose myself to cleanlines.. Can't wait for corona shit to pass so I can start looking for a new place to live that will hopefully not fall apart.. :/
And then my laptop decided to do a harikiri.. MMD! Fuuuuck oooofffff!!
9 -
One of my students failed one of the necessary tasks for exam admittance, then handed in the next one (even a bit too late via email instead of uploading it properly lol). Then I reminded him that he already failed the course and that I cant accept his solution, thinking he might not have read my previous evaluation?
"oh yea, that's right, i remember now!"
I mean like.. how do you forget something like that?!?!6 -
Update to interview that I had, it went well, I'm starting a 3 month contract 30th May, (soon after my honeymoon). When that's over we'll have a discussion and hopefully I'll be the right fit for the company.1
-
There is a book that is supposed to be the best book on its subject... but I just have to say - This book is not a good book. It's a bad book. That's right. I know the author well, - but it's terrible and I just need to tell someone. Thank you for listening.8
-
!rant
I trolled my friend by telling him that there's a 100 MB data transfer restriction on Windows right now because of the Ransomware that's floating around the internet.
I can't believe it worked and now he thinks he couldn't copy anime or games from me because it exceeds 100mb file size.
What's your best troll moments to people who're not computer techies?2 -
My dream project is to continue and improve my gaming website. It's a blog & community that's supportive of (but not limited to) female gamers. It's a positive place for gamers of any type to go, judgement free.
I have so many big ideas for the site, a forum, possibly user profiles, gaming quizzes and trivia, lots more ways to interact. I would love to do like a "find the right game for you" type of thing and have more time to blog..but I just simply don't have the time right now. :(
Baby steps for now. 🎮4 -
Back at <biginternationalorg> I witnessed a developer deliberately build an xss vuln into a company web application, so that he could plug a JS file in with all of his passwords hardcoded. Bear in mind, this is an org that provides services to both the UK and US military, and if you have access to some stuff you have access to the tools you need to impersonate high-ranking military folks.
I know its like, twenty different passwords, but that's what a goddamn keychain is for! If you don't trust windows keychains, do what I did and run a VM with a Foss keychain installed! Don't build a vuln right into a public facing web app, that's just stupidity. -
Python Question:
I'm learning Python and thought I'd start with web services since that's a concept I'm familiar with. My question is, in the attached code, am I doing it right when it comes to python? Cuz I feel like I'm following the same structure I follow in C# WebAPI and NodeJs
What about naming style? Is is the default for python? cuz I'm also using C# naming style :\
Thanks in advance ranters :)
26 -
It's the best thing ever where watching one tutorial doesn't work. So you go to another. Then you see a suggested video that's unrelated to your current task, but it's a short video. So you quickly watch it.
Boom. Next thing you know, it's fucking 45 minutes later and you just watched some random ass dude's entire fucking life story in his vlogs.
Fuck my life an Adderall would be fantastic right now. -
(Internal IT communication)
- Which one is the right email account for xxxx ? aaaa@ourcompany.com or bbbb@ourcompany.com?
- Yes, that's the correct one.5 -
I can't remember the last time I had THIS MUCH FUN developing an Android app! 😳 Have a paper due, but learning RN is actually making this pet project a huge distraction! 😳 This is a whole new world of mobile development 😆, but what if another framework takes it's place 😵. But there's still people who know Angular, and that's widely used...right 😓 and moble dev has never been this easy, so maybe it'll stick around like Node...
who cares... I'M FUCKING LOVING React Native now!!! 😆
4 -
Factually incorrect is the same as spam right? Okay maybe not, but that's how I justify a down vote sometimes...2
-
Postman Rant
wow just wow ! just got turned my home internet off by the cable company. And they are right to do !
I apparently didn't sent them their money. But why didn't I ?
Im the typo guy who likes a bill in any type and then pay it. Sorry for beein old fashioned there. Now this lack of human intelligence aka. my postman didn't brought me them. Instead I always receive others Bills and shit( ok sometimes he drops it right ). Does he think the people
in this house live in a fuckin hippie community or some
shit where we all are one system. WTF ????
But my revenge will come you giant shitpile, except from reporting you to your office.
You FUCKED with my internet connection. That's personal2 -
Yeah, it's just a website....hosting 3B active users...
That's like a 3 person job, at most, right?
10 -
Right now. It's happening. I'm sitting on one of those seemingly impossible issues. I'm reading the exception and can't fathom how it can be true. I mean, the evidence is right there! The error message must be wrong! But that's the thing, it never is. It's always something stupid and obvious. After you figure it out, you shake your head and laugh at yourself for not seeing it. It's all shits and giggles after you figure it out, but that's not where I'm at right now. Right now I'm being laughed at by this stack trace. It's mocking me even!
Jokes on you though, because I'm coming for you!!2 -
'Google knows everything about you.'
'Facebook records conversations.'
'Personalized ads manipulate you.'
Guess that's why YouTube showed me an ad in Spanish yesterday. Or why I never clicked on an ad. Or why only every 1 in approx. 10 ads is somewhat relevant to me (and thats with me explicitly stating my interests in ad personalization options).
I don't have anything against shielding your privacy. It's your right not to use a product if you don't want to, but I don't see how people can make these statements without providing solid proof.
Just my opinion.5 -
I present to you a php framework with an "orm" that doesnt support table joins. Yes, you heard it right.
I just want to say few things to the developers community -
If you are a bad programmer, please spend your time at improving rather than writing frameworks, or making the stupid decision on using SUCH SHIT FRAMEWORK AT A CORPORATE COMPANY!
Also if you are not sure if you are a good programmer or not, chances are you aren't. That's just how it is.
6 -
So I went to take a look at Mozilla's "privacy not included" guide.
That's some good comedy right there, fucking rubber ducks that spy on you.
Jesus fucking christ -
Weekly Q: How do you keep yourself motivated?
A: No matter what - I allocate a little bit of time every week to something I really care about right now.
When I was green it was mostly learning. Now it's mostly codebase cleanup, dev experience improvement or dabbling with some feature that's not prio.
Might not sound like a lot but doing it weekly does add up. -
Updated to Windows 10 1803 (April Update) and I noticed a little button appearing near the search box in the task bar. Turns out to be a new feature called Timeline. I open it and it shows some excel files I had opened some weeks before.
That's very coo... HOW THE FUCK DOES IT KNOW WHAT I DID BEFORE I EVEN UPDATED WINDOWS???
Richard Stallman is right..6 -
Any JavaScript developers out there willing to help me out with something?
I have an interview question that I like to ask candidates that no one ever seems to get right. But, to me, it seems pretty basic, so I expect MOST JavaScript developers at almost any level of expertise to get it, and I like it generally because it demonstrates some core knowledge of JavaScript concepts and syntax.
But I want to verify that my feelings about it are reasonable, because give how few ever seem to get it right (and I'm talking across literally hundreds of interviews, MAYBE 2 people have ever gotten it right), I'm starting to wonder if I'm right or not.
Look at this code, and then answer the question after. Please do so off the top of your head and without testing anything since that's normally the experience a candidate would have. I'll give the answer after some time for anyone who gets it wrong but is curious.
But this isn't about YOU getting it right or not, and it's not about whether it's the best way to do something in JavaScript or anything like that, it's just about whether it's a reasonable question and whether my expectation that MOST JavaScript developers should get it right is fair.
const O = {
sayHello : function() { alert("Hello"); }
};
const S = "sayHello";
Question: using ONLY the variables O and S (and you MUST use both), write code that executes the sayHello function.
Thanks!34 -
All software sucks, I overheard a colleague say. I used to be proud of what I wrote, but after 20 years I realize that I am never going to write perfect code. It may be good enough, but if that's all, than my colleague may be right. What a relief :)2
-
my instructor forgot to do Cengage shit right again... why me...
Assignment wants me to "go do a thing to sort 3 numbers with if/else statements"
I'm going to use a list and list.sort() as i'm not stupid and these are bad habits to teach...
...or not.
(I know I can put the values into the right vars and then print those but that feels so wrong to me for something that's gonna be printed ONCE. That also doesn't help as it's searching for if/else statements... although it's not searching for a whole one... nor in actual code...)
4 -
So all Matrix movies are now on Prime... Not sure when exactly that happened but watching them right now.
Apparently the original was released in 1999 so that's like 20 years ago.
Seems like the image of future AI hasn't changed much.
And I just got kicked off the TV so a group of guests can watch America's Got Talent... :(7 -
Busy trying to rewrite company website, I'm a desktop developer. I'm ashamed to say I used the following
<div class="hidden-xs hidden-sm>
<br><br>
</div>
To get a spacing right, I don't think that's legal.4 -
How do you know when to quit working for a particular company?
When you quit your job, what are the things or factors that tell you that that's the right time to do it?
🤔3 -
Have you ever had to get over someone? I don't mean in a relationship. I mean having that person betray you in a way that shows that they are beyond help?
That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm not crying I've skipped: anger and denial, I've breezed through bargaining, right now in the middle of acceptance and depression.
Now I'm having a hard time admitting I had feelings for her at one point. 🙁
Currently Listening To: f*** You by Cee Lo.3 -
I often ask myself why I chose this career path.
Right now, I had one of those moments where it all clicks and falls into place.
Where you can take a problem, have a rapid fire thought through your head and you've got all the modules in memory (pun unintended,) and it's just a case of touching keys.
I think that's why I do what I do. The feeling of satisfaction after you go 'I got it!'
🤙🤙1 -
The team in our office was forced to have, and I'm not kidding, TWO hours long agile meetings EVERY day. That's right, only 6 hours a day for work. Crazy managers
-
Can't believe i've just had to explain master/slave terminology to someone who has been running our Jenkins CI/CD stack for several years.
That's unusual right?6 -
First time programming for work... Man in the middle student password changes. Yep that's right I'm being asked to write a program that will change students passwords on their Google accounts and local domain while also keeping a decryptable format password in a database. Granted it's much better than not letting students change their passwords at all. Plus were doing it because it will let us fix their issues while their out of school so...8
-
Idk despite whatever my resume may suggest, I think I'm still a Junior. Dunno if that'd ever change tbh. I mean, that's the downside of "cutting edge tech", right?
I don't have any advice.
Everything important has already been said by somebody out there.7 -
AAARRRRGGHHHHHHH
I am so frustrated right now. Why can't a single thing happen peacefully.
Why are there zillions of hurdles in everything that's need to be done.
Existing is painfully expensive.6 -
Ugh... Spent the last hour figuring out why my Python script wouldn't send an email. Turns out my computer used a DNS cache that pointed to the wrong name server, but BT (shitty UK ISP) takes fucking forever to update their DNS. And obviously you can't edit the modem's DNS to the Google DNS, because fuck you that's why.
I want Richard's decentralised Internet right now.2 -
I just *thought* about buying a domain. Now I get goDaddy ads literally everywhere. That's some next level spying right there. :o5
-
Assuming you're not a beginner , which language would you learn right now (or) which language would you prefer to stick with provided you already know it.
*The assumption made is to prevent comments on python cause that's usually beginners choice
Personally I want to hone my skills in rust.10 -
That's gotta hurt dawg: Emotion(a CSS-in-JS library)'s 2nd most active maintainer ditches own solution for SASS + CSS modules: https://dev.to/srmagura/...
Didn't feel right from the start. Everyone showing their true feelings for CSS-in-JS in the comment section.
Please tell me the next big thing will be going back to basics & not go to even more insane lenghts for marginal DX improvements.2 -
Neovim has the following testimonial on their website:
"A nice looking website, that's one thing Neovim did right." -Bram Moolenaar
Hilarious!1 -
Imagine this scenario:
You'll no longer be living the life you got accustomed to. You'll no longer be seeing people you used to see and interact almost everyday. It's quite overwhelming feeling when that reality hits you.
That's how I'm feeling right now. It feels weird. A major part of my life since over a year will no longer be there.
Though i hated most of my time there, it still feels.
😑3 -
Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.
That's right, the English summer has arrived.1 -
Just finished making an ER diagram for the 5th time now.
It was less painful this time. (Thanks draw.io)
(About the 4th ER diagram - le professor says "It looks like a flow chart, that's not right", but it's clearly not?)
I'll have to submit the draft tomorrow to the professor, I just hope that he green lights it so I could finalize the project report.
I hate making ER diagrams now. -
I want to use Babel or Typescript for the first time. Because as I read it is the way to go, when compressing JavaScript and make it browser compatible. If that's false, please correct me.
There's a question I've got about this. Right now I am using a PHP router file dealing with requests and selecting the right .js file and compresses it. So I can write like modular JavaScript functions and include them when needed.
My question is, what do I have to change in my setup to switch to the mentioned technologies?11 -
Me: Interview is in 3 hours, I'm prepared, it's non technical anyway, just be yourself.
Brain to me: What the fuck is big 'O' notation? Objects you mean chairs? Turing? That's some kind of robot right?
Also me: fuck....1 -
After an important meeting where you actually get to give feedback and share some of your ideas for new features or bug fixes, one of the managers sends a follow-up email to the team telling you to get features done, like they were his suggestions.
Manager “I'd like you to work on.... “
Me "Right, that's what I wanted to work on... "6 -
Here comes my rant about versioning.
Why don't you use semver? Or something that makes fucking sense?
I've been banging my head against this lib that was required, wondering why the thing was crashing everywhere, for hours. Then I had to dig through its code, for a while too.
And then I finally discover that, from 1.3.9 to 1.4.0, half of the API changed and was backwards incompatible. Yay. Also, one would think that's a thing worth of mention in the docs, but why bother right?
Uggggh -
You can find so many tutorials, learning paths for C#, C++, python, angular, jss, java, etc.
But literally none for batch file programming (if that's even what it's called) so little documentation on cmd.exe and writing .bat files :'(
Can someone please please help?
Just point me in the right direction?
inb4 google it17 -
So I was referred to an ai tech startup that's building a bot that you can talk to about your career n experience and it will suggest and connect you to companies looking to hire. I was really excited when I saw their site and signed up for their beta.
Well I got an invite and tried talking to it but it doesn't respond...
Not a good sign right?1 -
tl;dr: What dark theme are you using in IntelliJ?
After seeing how easy it is for my coworker to do refactoring in IntelliJ, its git integration, some Emacs-like features in it, and generally because he made me believe it's an all-in-one IDE (is that right?), I'm considering leaving Sublime for IntelliJ.
The thing that's stopping me though is that I'm not able to find a good Monokai color scheme for it. I am using Boxy Monokai theme in sublime, and it's just awesome.
What dark theme are you using in IntelliJ?12 -
Sooo... I have an Haskell exam tomorrow and I thought I had the evening to review some stuff and try to code a little bit more. Guess I was wrong since I had to take my sister to her soccer practice at 7 pm and am arriving just now home.
Well, I guess if I fail, I'll just blame it on her.
That's what siblings are for, right?5 -
The main difference between chrome and Safari is an ideological one. When I'm about to watch a movie and have my all dark themed screen at full brightness, chrome can blink a white screen right in my eyes as it was loading its stupid start page.
Safari doesn't do that. That's the difference that matters to me.2 -
Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.
Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.
Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.
They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.
To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.12 -
I occasionally wonder if my supervisors think I'm an idiot because I'm constantly implementing stuff the wrong way and asking if I am even on the right track to a solution.
I guess that's what internships are for but I hate being dependent entirely on other developers. I may not know the best way to do stuff but I do know how to do stuff :(4 -
TFW you realize you only have 2 days left until your school-leaving exams.... I'm so fucking nervous right now... Aaand apparently our city has won a soccer match, I can pretty much hear everything that's happening at the stadium... there also seems to be some big rap concert somewhere in the city... I can't open the window otherwise I'll have to listen to all that noise.5
-
*While designing the native app for a web application*
Me: So this feature in the app will basically be the same as Feature1 in the web app, correct?
Client: That's exactly right.
*Presenting the new app to the client*
Client: Why is this feature not behaving like the Feature2 in the web app?
Me: You said you wanted it like Feature1
Client: What? No, it must behave like Feature2
Please help1 -
So I just spent all morning struggling setting up a project and getting it to run. My colleague sent me a screenshot of the documentation wiki, but didn't give the link.
*4 hours later looks at email for the Nth time*
Wait he did... that's not a wiki, that's Readme.md... this is in the repo link right above it!
I didn't need to checkout the repo so didn't open it... -
What is REST?
The Legendary : Its stands for Representational State Transfer
Me : That's what i need right now.7 -
Another GeeksForGeeks rant
Wisecrack got me a bit interested in primes (just a passing interest). I looked up their python implementation of "Sieve of Atkin". Wow, is it bad.
First of all, they use PascalCase instead of underscore_natation so that's points off right there.
Their function takes a limit as a parameter (pretty obviously).
Their program breaks if you pass a prime number as a limit. That's right, if you give it a 2, it breaks. Pretty pathetic.
Reading the comments, their Java implementation is wrong too.
For fucks sake guys, if you're going to have an algorithm blog at least write good algorithms.6 -
My company boss just changed the holiday rules...
Previously we had 2 Saturday off + 2 casual leaves and bank holidays...
Now as rule we did holiday on Monday, so he is i think angry or something...
He told us now no Saturday off, no bank holiday... Only we will get 2 leaves... That's alll...
I think it's time to Quit... Right?15 -
Most awesome game ever! It mostly plays by itself and cheats... or maybe it a bug: You (as Autoplay) don't have to beat all the NPCs to advance....
Strangely it feels sort of familiar... O right bc I usually God Mode all games..... But still need to play thru them manually.
Also there's some Chinese left in one of the buttons... they forgot to translate... But maybe that's... Most of time all we care about is the graphics and seeing rank go up....
3 -
I kind of have my ideal dev job right now.
It's interesting and diversified work, I have the possibility to experiment and to learn and I have some great colleagues. Well, most of the time. :D
What I miss right now is a higher flexibility of work hours and workplace e.g. home office due to changes in my life. Also, I don't earn that much, but since it's not a full-time job that's OK, also I still can make a living. -
Currently writing a long-ass new issue to the Docker/CLI repository, to tell them that their online documentation for the manifests is absolute garbage. I mean, a documentation is supposed to tell you how to run commands, not something like "Yeah you try it and maybe it'll work. No it's not the good format, you dumb fuck. Nice, bro, but if you check what changed... That's right, nothing changed. At all. For no reason. Keep trying, it's fun!"
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So been working with the COSMOS framework and I have litteraly spent more time reworking the CLI to be so much more functional... Still haven't implemented a simple echo command but hey... Shit looks pretty that's all that matters... Right... Right?
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I wrote a simple Python script to split a Wikipedia page into manageable chunks. But it took a while to load, so I decided to add a loading indicator. Just a few dots appearing and disappearing. How hard could it be?
"Okay, so I just need a few dots as a loading thing."
"Right, so I suppose I'll need a separate thread for this... Better look up Python's threading again"
"So the thread is working, but it keeps printing it out on separate lines"
"Right, that should fix it ... nope."
"I should probably fix the horrible mess here"
"Hmm... maybe if I replace the weird print() calls with all those extra parameters with sys.stdout.write()..."
"Right, that kind of works, but now there's just a permanent row of dots"
"Okay, that's fixed... Ish."
Well, it works now, but there's a weird mess of two \r's and a somewhat odd loop. Oh, and there's more code for the loading indicator than for the actual functionality. This is CLI by the way.7 -
in other news, i'm in a group of like 5 devs out of a thousand who actually have something to show for this hacking project that's been going on for two weeks now
most "project" links lead to empty github repos, half assed repos, or cloned repo templates / empty / useless READMEs
wouldn't be surprised if i see a fork of bitcoin submitted soon
oh wait that's litecoin
but, fake it till you make right?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 -
woow PHPStorm is such an incredibly buggy piece of shit .... how can anyone work with such a buggy IDE?
It randomly looses settings on restart. A lot of functionality is just so poorly tested. Anyone ever really tried to work with the integrated DB tool?
Or the CSV plugin? there are countless bugs in both usability and function-wise.
But I guess that's because it's just plugins ... you know .. you don't need to use them ...
Is the PHP code formatter a plugin too? Guess I don't have to use it at all, if it randomly scrambles whole lines if I format with a missing } or some other improper syntax. Right, overall it's my fault, right??
Fuck you PHPStorm, and you IntelliJ too. you're not better at all.12 -
Hm... so my screen time makes me happy and so does building apps that do work for me.
And when the weather is nice, I go out...
So even though I have a lot of screen time, I am good right?
https://ted.com/talks/...
P.S that's an app I wrote that gets me the transcript since reading is faster than watching a talk (I now watch only if I want to see the slides/pictures).
2 -
Why can't they get power saving right? Every keyboard I have to pull out the sleep button. Once you press it that's it. PC is dead. Put to sleep.
Do I have to venture into the ancient forest and find a prince to wake it up?
Same thing with monitors these days acting all weird.
Can we put a wake up button on these things? They're backwards. At least have a screen explaining its waking up. The slightest indication.
If power saving is going to be such a hassle I'm going to turn it off.6 -
Today I managed to make my VM (running CentOS) AND my Windows 8.1 crash with a SINGLE line of PHP that's supposed to make a SQL request.
I fucking hate Drupal, because even though I feel like I accomplished my life, I also want to end it right now -
Help, how can I use $90 of credit on digital ocean in 20 days, for something useful enough i might decide to keep it after the credit runs out
right now all i got on there is a cheap webserver droplet that's $5 a month
5 -
My job isn't stressful all the time. Sometimes I'm in meetings and I'm just bored. And sometimes I have a coke to drink. That's pretty nice.
But right now my app is breaking and I don't know why. It either corrupts the heap sometimes or breaks the execution engine sometimes or attempts to write pointers I don't control into protected memory sometimes. Can't reliably reproduce them. And every time I try to debug one it causes the other.
But I do have a Coke. -
When you try playing Google's kids coding game but can't seem to find your way around and you like this shit is stupid... that's where I'm at right now
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can you guys show me yours & your favorite personal websites?
i need mine to be unique and POP. right now mine has a linear gradient background that changes each time with javascript to look cool, but that's pretty much it. do you guys have any ideas?
i really want the user to be able to deepfake the picture of me in it by using their camera and tensorflow.js so that the picture will change to their facial expressions, but i'm not sure how to do that yet.32 -
I made a serious mistake that is to start directly a programming language without mastering the algorithms, because finally, without a good knowledge of Algorithms we will never be innovative in this field, that's why I reinitialize myself and I take a step backwards to start the algorithms right and master them well.
Your advices please. -
Video game. Nothing but a final boss fight right from the start. Boss has infinite health. There is no time limit. If you die in the game, you die in real life.
That's what it's like to live with bipolar disorder.
For the love of god PLEASE keep yourself away from emotional stress and trauma. -
How many hours does it take to get your configfiles right?
First .zshrc, then .vimrc, tmux, weechat, wpa_supplicant, grub... so much config.
But that's sort of the fun of it all3 -
The sun is glaring on my laptop screen so badly, that I can't see my dark-theme console. I really hope `git add .` does only what I wanted it to today. That's why we have source control, right?
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Yeah right. If we go hybrid mobile app it's like the same work as native but you get 2 apps for 2 platform for the same time / cost. That's how it works 😭
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Muahahaha!
Stupid canvas! I killed you!
No more anti-aliasing for you! Now it's time for pixel perfect drawings and a finally functioning floodfill algorithm!
I only had to make my own full custom drawing routine. It is not that I had other things to do, right?!
Seriously: Who the heck decided to implement anti-aliasing for a canvas that cannot be deactivated? Who!?
Oh, I hate frontend so much. That's not my world... -
Now that's an election done right...
Stupid US political system/media where all the attention goes to Republicans and Democrats candidates and both are the same shit...
Yes I know not dev related but just had to rant....
11 -
Older lady designer with 2 huge Apple monitors asking me to change a color on the UI or left shift list elements. That's not too bad, right. NOOOOO. All of those request asked individually in a timespan of 4 weeks. I was assigned to do just that and nothing else. Damn I was bored...I was not allowed to help other teams or even my own team members officially. Finally my boss called me up for another project. SALVATION !!!
PS. That project got cancelled. No suprise there. -
Thank you Matlab, for my daily dose of frustration.
Thank you Matlab, for deciding to surface-plot a 2D variable with the x axis = columns and y axis = rows, because of course that's the most intuitive way to go about it.
Because of course that's consistent with the standard way to refer to a variable's elements.
After all, everybody knows that Z(i, j) refers to the i-th column and j-th row of a matrix, right?
Thank you, Matlab, for depriving me of the little fuck I gave about getting something done today.
Now go die in a fire.6 -
Just got off work, pulled up to the stoplight right outside the office, and some kid texting on his phone rear ended me. That was about an hour ago. So that's how my week ended. How's yours going?2
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My job description is software developer, and that's the thing I do less because I have also been assigned tasks from other areas that nobody wants to do. Yeah sure, make the IT guy do it, he's not busy and doesn't do much anyway, right? Oh but wait until they do need something coded...3
-
Is there something like tinder that doesn't require a photo?
I just don't like my own face right now. That's all.35 -
My family supported it from day 0, as I went to a specialized school to finish "high school".
They do push me towards more studying (I got a bachelor's in computer science), but idk if that's really the right call. -
Hello World! I'm new here. Hey guys. What are you guys working on right now? Unless you're just staring at a wall or playing video games that's fine too.9
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Clients in software/technology sector are NEVER right. That's it I said it. Truth is they are as dumb as they come.
-
My team builds robots and we're trying to use an IMU for orientation. Asked one of the members to find our spare one because the one in the robot was apparently throwing errors.
Him: "Oh hey I couldn't find it"
Me: "did you look in all the boxes?"
Him: "ya dude I looked in all our boxes, even the box we never use"
Me: "shoot ok I guess we lost one, I'll order another one soon"
*1 day passes*
Me: goes to our main box to get a keyboard out
Me: opens the box, IMU is sitting right on top
Me: pulls out the keyboard, sees ANOTHER IMU sitting in the box
Me: "hey coworker, you said you looked in all the boxes, right?"
Him: "yeah dude no clue where it is."
Me: "it's sitting right on top. Plus there's another one in here"
Him: "oh lol that's weird"
That's all you have to say for yourself? That's weird?! DUDE NOT ONLY WAS IT SITTING RIGHT ON TOP OF THE BOX, THERE WE'RE *2* OF THEM IN THERE, IN THE MAIN BOX WE USE
the sad part is that's not even the worst part of the story... That part to follow soon ;)1 -
Everything works hurray
- why not change this column in the database ?
Ok
- everything breaks -
Let's write additional 50 lines of code,,,
Still broken
but it worked once that's an accomplishment right? 🤣4 -
I'm so used to watching all websites with the dev tools open, that when I finally close it, they all look skewed to the right and not centeret.
Oh well, that's just a part of the game I guess -
It's insane that to get a phone with decent specs without getting one that's even bigger than what I have(a 5.5" asus that feels like a behemoth) I had to get a phone that was released almost two years ago. I figure sony will release a new compact some time soon, but the price was right on the XZ2, and it feels wonderful to use a phone with one hand again.4
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Looking for potential clients on Upwork is like finding a holy grail these days.
Cheap clients with laughable budgets and high expectations on the right.
"Devs" and "Designers" with questionable skills who will work for the lowest rate possible on the left.
And don't forget the ever growing service fees and absurd measures like turning your profile private if you don't make any income in 30 days. Suuure, that's totally going to help anyone who isn't willing to work with low rates.
I am getting done with Upwork. Back on Elance I managed to get a couple of really good clients for long term projects and good commissions. Here it's impossible, even with lower rates.
You're competing against people whose portfolio involves changing a few colors for a envato template or logos made of stock graphics, and they are still more likely to be hired over you because they are willing to work on a t-shirt design for $4!
Networking is where is at. Getting contacts, talking to people, force yourself to introduce to companies as a potential asset.
That's how you get the good projects, right?
... Right, folks?1 -
I can't do my job without internet. Guess which construction fuckers couldn't keep their shovels in the right holes and knocked out our power and connection to the interwebs. That's right. Those numbskulls right outside my building. The same ones who've been incompetent enough to have this project going on all. summer. long.
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Happy happy joy joy!
That's right
I'm all happy and shit
I'm gonna get people out of this mess and smile broadly from ear to ear1 -
*me writing my sweet code like nothing bad could happend*
Xcode: bum! Compiling error
Me: what the...
*compile again
Xcode: yeah right. Bam! Error
*clean, etc. compile again
Xcode: yeah, try your luck looser
Me: ok, let's google it. First stack overflow answer: just change the simulator and should work correctly.
And of course it worked. And that's how it works all day.
Fuck you Xcode! Fuck you Apple!
-
People usually use their phones in portrait mode. People often taking vertical photos and videos. People read books, and every book has portrait pages. Almost every website has unused space on left and right.
But when people see my vertical monitors they all like: oh man, you are weirdo, that's awful and uncomfortable.5 -
We have a notorious question in one of our coding interviews, designed to weed out people who've slapped 'Postgres' on their CV (because that's what we're looking for) when what they really mean is "I've used MySQL a lot, and it's basically the same, right?". People get choked on that about 70% of the time.
If you put something technical on your CV, be prepared to be tested on it in a coding interview!1 -
People that we have to work with man! This one guy I worked with once wrote a base script that had 100ish variables and nothing else that got inherited by another script containing again nothing but more variables that got inherited by another script which you guessed it right has nothing but more variables and this went on for about 6 more scripts. A total of around 600 variables and no functions or anything. The final script had all the classes and functions with yup that's right more variables. That person is the tech lead of a game dev studio now.
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People who use word-break: break-all on body paragraph content need to stand in a narrow, claustrophobia-inducing room, cut off their left hand, and hold it up against the right-hand wall, while holding the stump of their left arm against the left wall. That's what it feels like to read break-all in longform content.
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Me: I'm currently working an unfamiliar stack and need extensive searching to implement this or that, but that's ok, duck duck go and SO is my friend
Also me: oh look, [facebook/devrant/youtube/I really need to sort this unrelated shit right about now since I just randomly remembered it and will forget in 3..2..1../devrant] -
We are probably going to see even more kotlin. That's something, right? The dev future can't be all bleak ^^1
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How would you implement a system that allow people to share a product that's normally one price but because of the referral there is a discount. Oh and the discount is supposed to based which country you live in.
Right now the whole system runs on the honor system and a little front end verification. How do I clean up this mess??
Sure getting the user's location could work until they use a vpn. I don't really know what to do here.3 -
So a company sent me a "few days/hours" homework assignment (that conveniently uses their exact software stack) before even doing a phone interview. That's not cool, right?1
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"Hey critnukes it's me your dumbass costumer and I was told to call you from the owner, so do you know where our mailbox is?"
You live in the other end of the country, surely there must be something wrong with you to think _I_ could know. Well, they were so used to us knowing everything they didn't even think about it.
Guess that's a good thing right? -
Unfortunately, WordPress doesn't provide built-in functionality for exporting user data. The only way to do it is using an import and export user plugin.
But that's fine. Don't waste your time on essential functionality, just keep adding more features and gimmicks to your Gartenzwerg editor.
Always good if you got your priorities right.12 -
Angular devs:
If you're importing a component into another component just to get a value from the controller of the imported component, that's like, awful, right? I can think of at least two other ways to do that more efficiently2 -
Guess what dumbass forgot to take into account markup for the database field and now everything is chopped off.
That's right. Me. :)
Lesson learned though.3 -
I simplified 7 functions down to a blob because it was truly unreadable and fragmented. As I did it, I thought there was no way I did it right. This can't be the logic. Nope. It is.
Yeah, the formatting could be better. End of the shift so that's a tomorrow thing.
10 -
Why the limitation to only see 30 +1 posts listed via a profile while using devRant on a desktop @dfox?1
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So I've been studying masters in business analytics and big data. So far it's been 2 months and I don't have a clear picture about what big data actually is.
I guess that's normal and no cause of concern right guys ? -
New job
Week 3: We might assign you to a new Java we might be creating
Week 5: So you might be working with the other team on an webapp.
That team has taken 2 weeks to decide the tech stack to use for the webapp and still hasn't decided.
Week 7: So we have only one role available right now and that's production support.
*Insert ultra rage face*3 -
Imagine if you could anything you want to do right now other than working like play games, watch a film, or sleep. That's your goal.
But to get it, you have to finish your work as fast and as effective as possible. Didn't finish your work? Sorry, can't stop. Hustle it.
The sooner it's done, the sooner you can do whatever the fuck you want.4 -
Trying to craft a capturing subtraction group without having a good grasp of regex... That's a bad practice, right?1
-
I kind of wish there was an option for a small brown dog for my avatar.
My dog is a small brown mutt (I think that's the word? She doesn't have a breed) and right now there's no dog that looks like her 😭6 -
That moment when you think you are earning above average salary and levels.fyi punctures that ego by showing that you are well below the median.
*sigh
But hey at least I'm not dependent on esops. That's good, right? Right?2 -
OMG I want to throw my monitor out of my window right now!
Someone just went through my entire project and un-cuddled all of my braces, AND THEN STARTED ALL MY FUCKING VARIABLE NAMES WITH AN UNDERSCORE!!! Are you kidding me??? People actually do that??? That's literally worse than php's brilliant idea of starting every variable name with a dollar sign!
I can't even read my own code anymore...2 -
Ugh. Been working on a huge React component that's now dependant on another co-workers PR, and had this one open for like a week. Go to merge and one of the fucking useless reviewers decides that *now* is the best time to flag everything wrong with my code!
I get it, it's good feedback, but uh... Could you not have done this a FUCKING WEEK AGO instead of RIGHT BEFORE I GO TO MERGE?!
Prick.2 -
🎵 in heaven there is no beer that's why we drink it here RIGHT HERE and when we're all gone from here all out friends will be drinking our beer 🎵
-
So I work with another team that develop services I use for my website.
The thing is, when they do big changes, I am not warned. So when I update my proxies, surprise, don't compile anymore, have things to change.
Worse is, I have their code right now. And the code that is deployed right now. They're not the same. So I know that I'm gonna have to change again things some days, but that's because I searched through the code. -
Nobody is here, right? So, I can complain without sounding mean...
Vue Mastery and Vue School are both absolute nightmare education offerings.
That's all. Mindbogglingly invaluable.
Maybe it's the churn... but also - you could rerecord those videos in a week or two and have them updated... easy...4 -
I've got a basic understanding of c ++ and recently been asked something that's left me stumped. Am I able to take audio data (A sign wave as an example), output some of that data to a buffer that then directly outputs it to an audio device or speaker, without saving the data to an audio file and playing that? Been looking around Google (,Still am) and I'm not finding anything exactly the same that's answering my question or one that gives me an idea on how to do this. Any help or advice would be appreciated, even if it's only pointing me in the right direction1
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Right. My next project from now is to create a copy of the bc command. It'll be long. It'll be hard. But that's the end of the harder part! 💪
-
Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
I wish they'd make the idea of gifting a large number of offspring with longevity a happy one. I don't want these creatures hurting my kids so I'm not giving them any
Oh
And welcome to fort Collins
nicht rennen
sie mussen gehen
And didn't matt Damon play Jason Bourne ?
Yup. That's about right.
https://youtube.com/shorts/...2 -
Let's exclude some files from our coverlet coverage test!
Sure! That's easy, just remember to pass this super short, understandable, and rememberable command-line argument:
-- DataCollectionRunSettings.DataCollectors.DataCollector.Configuration.ExcludeByFile="**/myFile.cs/**"
You're fucking kidding me, right?
It's 2022 and tools are still using PowerShell syntax... just kill me1
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