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I tell my parents that I chose Game Development in the GeoLab course(The college which my mother really wanted me to try), and mother's response is: „Gaming is mankind's disaster. Why do you want to make more people miserable?“
Kill. Me. Now.84 -
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Hi IT, I can't enter to my computer, i put my password and it says it's incorrect.
Me: Ok, hold me a few.
(10 seconds without do anything)
Me: Try again.
User: It worked! Thanks!!2 -
Me: Sometimes I talk to myself while debugging.
Me: OMG 😱, me too..
Me: Lets try pair programming next time.9 -
Boss: I can't open the website.
Me: What connection you using boss? Try to switch to LAN cable. Our office wifi a little bit wonky today.
*plug in LAN cable
Boss: Ahaaaaa! It works now. Please, next time make you develop website wifi compatible.
Me: ****8 -
Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday
11 -
She: "I am not getting anything out of these classes!!"
Me: "Try making some Objects first"
*Awkward silence*8 -
*Working on Friend1's laptop*
*Friend1 leaves and his laptop gets locked unattended*
Friend2: Now what? We need to finish that thing on his laptop..
Me: Let me try..
*thinks*
*Enters Friend1's name*
*Laptop unlocks!*
6 -
"That's fair" 😂😂
Try visiting - https://nerdstagram.com
Follow me on Twitter for more such stuff - https://twitter.com/manbirmarwah
11 -
Client: "This feature doesn't work! I thought you said it was done?!"
Me: "Please press CTRL+F5 and try again..."
Client: "Okay, great, works now."
A conversation I seem to have on a very regular basis.8 -
I asked my teammates if it would be ok if I made multithreading code for the collisions of our game engine and they just sent me this, I'm going to try anyway. Yolo.
2 -
Me : You should try this app, its great!
Friend: What is about?
Me : A place where programmers and developers tell jokes and complain to each other
Friend : But you can do that i real life too
Me : But now you don't have to leave your computer to do that1 -
Professor in OS lab: Open up Cygwin and try some Linux commands
Me: Opens up dual boot Ubuntu and runs the commands on Terminal
Professor looks at my system: Is this the latest Windows 10 ?
Me: ...13 -
Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.
You think JavaScript is bad? Try MatLab, JavaScript will look like a saint.
You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.
Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!31 -
Me: I'm gonna write some code today. Try to push more commits in a single day than I did last week.
Github: You only get half a contribution tile today, bitch.
5 -
!rant
As seen on a marquee:
Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you will disappear.
#stayweird1 -
Windows: Try Edge! It blocks 13% more malware than Chrome!
Me: Try using your brain! It blocks 99.4% of ALL malware!
*Later*
Windows: Try Edge! It blocks 13% more malware than Chrome!
Me: Edge, you are malware: You are an unwanted piece of software installed without the user's consent, and you make annoying pop-ups.10 -
Me: try googling this
Team mate: ok. So what do I Google?
Me: are you seriously considering specialising in computer engineering?4 -
Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.
Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?7 -
OK morning rant from yesterday.
Get into the venue, connect my surface to the dock, keyboard won't work.
Try more USB ports, try another machine, keyboard (corsair k70) is totally broken.
Ugh.
Fine.
Disassemble keyboard, someone asks me a question, turn around and knock full coffee cup over my surface book.
Fuck sake.
Now I need a new laptop.4 -
Dev from other team asked me for a code I had previously written. I emailed it.
Dev: Thanks, I received it but am not able to open the .py file
Me: Try using Microsoft Word.12 -
!rant Decided to use the DevTools audit thing to try to improve my personal website. An embarrassing number of hours later and I finally have to tell the perfectionist in me to chill.
12 -
Conversations between 2 java programmers.
Me: How it's possible that your code works?
Frank: I don't know. I try 10 times, and each time, I get an error.
Then I take a break...
Eat a humburger, play ping pong, drink coffee.
Me: That's it?
Frank: Yes
Me: I need a break...4 -
Is it just me or everyone have this issue that when I sleep with some coding problems my mind will try to find a solution for it?14
-
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5 -
She: I have a problem with my android phone, I can't take screenshots since yesterday.
Me: Ehm... did you try to turn it off and on again?
She: no.. let me try.
...5 minutes later...
She: You're a genius!!!
Me: I know. 😏😎2 -
Any time someone gets an idea that they talk to me about 'I want to build an app can you build apps'
Me : I'm not amazing at it but I can certainly try what's the idea?
Them: it's like Facebook but...
Me: that's plenty2 -
Me: I should try out Figma's vector tool
[30 minutes pass, this happened]
Pros: its nice
Cons: not as intuitive as Illustrator's or Inkscape's....
AND MUH GRIDS
13 -
I turned fucking 18!!! Finally it's legal for me to drink beer!!
Gotta try coding while bring drunk😱 I wonder what it would be like.
36 -
Me: *Has 3 difficult exams to study for and hours of work*
Also me: I should try my hand at encryption in Python.7 -
friend: how do you create a game?
me: *laughing* slow down, first of all try to learn to code, then...
friend: cut the bullshit! your the IT guy, tell me, how you simply create a for e.x. Call of Duty?6 -
Dad: "Install this apk for me"
*try it and installation fails*
Me: "I checked the repo and it's for a much older version of Android. Won't work for you."
Dad: "Don't be a quitter. It can definitely be done."
Please stop asking me for help.6 -
Being in an office where men actually listen to my ideas and don't try to talk over me? 🤔😍 It feels just like devRant4
-
To all newbie developers,
Before you ask a doubt about an issue to someone else,
Try doing an initial investigation to find the root cause,
Look into the logs,
Find the stack trace,
Google things,
Have breakpoints and try to debug.
You come to me with a weird NullPointerException and ask me why,
Without even looking into the logs once? We ain't God bro.13 -
There are two types of dumb people in our office:
1.Those who try to open a .exe file with Word.
2.Those who ask me why the file is not opening.1 -
Today @ 4pm:
New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.
Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?
New dev: ... no
Me: ... why?
New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know
Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?
New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.
Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried13 -
My First Post
My friend recommended me to try this app, and I was very impressed by the community here. 😀
I love you, devs!!7 -
Does anyone else have this? I always try to adjust the way I say things to non-hostile/aggressive (talking about things I have very specific opinions on) because I'm somehow afraid of starting a heated argument. On here, at work, everywhere.
Going to try to just speak my mind, even if that would get me into more fights etc 😅11 -
Me: Can't wait to try out the changes I've made to the code.
Visual Studio: Let me compile your code from scratch so you can sit there for half an hour like a dumb fuck.7 -
I decided to go to a beach, sit on a rock and try to advance my side project. And look who decided to come and help me!
9 -
User: “X service doesn’t work.”
Me: “Are you running it using the instructions I gave you?”
User: “No, let me try… Ah, it works now, thanks!”
🙄7 -
When you write code and forget to comment it, and then you come back and try to figure out why the heck you wrote certain parts of it.
Let this be a lesson for future me.
7 -
If you are tall and experience back problems like me, give one of those balls that you sit on a try. It costs 15 euros and it solved everything for me. If it doesnt... well... throw it of your balcony and let me know how high it bounced4
-
Me: let's try to be a little social and make some friends and talk to people nicely
After 5 very hard minutes of trying
Me: fuck them!! where's my laptop5 -
I fucking hate being the "ask me anything" guy in the office, how am I supposed to code if people interrupt me every 5 minutes?
OH LOOK AT MY HEADPHONES! MAYBE I'M CONCENTRATED AND HAVE SHIT TO DO! I mean there are other 10 devs, why don't you go to them? or maybe try to GOOGLE IT, I HEARD STACK OVERFLOW IS GOOD YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
don't get me wrong, I like to help people but I hate when those bastards come asking questions that could be easily answered if they read the code for 5 fucking minutes.
when I have to look at code that is not mine I try to understand it by myself, even if it's not documented, and I try not to bother anyone unless is really necessary.
But then this sluggish leeches think I know the whole codebase and that can interrupt me whenever they can.7 -
Einstein :" Insanity: doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results.
Me: O yeah? Try nondeterministic algorithms3 -
piece of code: *not working*
me: okay, i can try this again later
me: *comments it out*
4 hours later
me: omfg why are there so many comments??? :( -
Me: I've been using ubuntu with i3 for 6 months. Is awesome. Everything works great.
Brain: Have you seen debian or arch linux. They're better than ubuntu. Just try' em
Me: Brain shut up. I don't have time to reinstall everything + I'll 100% fuck my pc up. I'll do it another time.
Brain: Trust me. I know what's better for you. Try it now
Me: No.
Brain: Pleeeeease.
Me: Ok fine.
Me: Now windows doesn't work, debian doesn't work. I need to format my hard drive and do this shit all over again.
Brain: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Hey. Install arch linux.9 -
Humans generally distract the fuck out of me when I try to code. And when they leave me alone, Windows decides its a great fucking time to install its shitty updates.2
-
I left some spaghetti code on production at the company i left, i really hope my replacement isn’t a psycho who’ll try to find me3
-
Client: Can you build a Webshop and make it SEO,SEM and advertising-friendly?
Me: I COULD TRY. Whats your budget?
Client: Up to 400€
At this point I slowly faded away.9 -
Remind me to never ever ever try to make my own CSS from scratch, never.
Much love to all the people making css frameworks, we appreciate you <34 -
Coworker: Why isn't my internet working? I've checked everything, even the ethernet cable!
Me: *sobs*
Me: *connects ethernet cable*
Me: Try now... -
They see me coding
They testing
The Try and Catch blocks show me coding dirty
Show me coding dirty ...3 -
Me: Hello. I'm from dept. ABC. My system isn't working.
IT: Have you tried logging OFF & ON again?
Me: (Let me rephrase) No the system isn't turning ON 😅
IT: Before I come over to your desk, can you try restarting once? 🤓
Me: (Motherfuck..) 🙂5 -
Coworker: There's clearly a bug here, this thing just says OFF and doesn't work!
Me: Well, did you try switching it to ON?
Coworker: OH SHIT that fixed it!3 -
try {
// code that will someday
// throw an exception. Today is
// not that day.
}
catch(Exception ex) {
// The big day has arrived! BUT...
// I'm a heartless bastard who
// does not log errors.
// Good luck finding me!
}2 -
Me: Hey, I need to know when the user double clicked this.
B: It's easy, just put a try catch with DoubleClickException
Me: ...
B: ...
Me: and how about right click?
B: RightClickExce...
Me: Ok. I'm out5 -
Coworker: You see, once you get older, you learn to not worry yourself with what browser you should use and just use safari
^--- Only 2 years older
Me: ...
Me: Don't try to justify that €12 spend on a json viewer for safari.8 -
Me as Junior Dev doing mysql first time, specifically INSERT test data to test db, sucess on first try.
My Senior co-worker says: WOW, Baby's first INSERT...... that sounds so wrong out of context xD -
Friend : “What’s a devDuck”
Me: “We’ll use it as a problem solving technique. It’s a technique where if you get stuck, you try to explain the problem to a rubber duck.”
Friend: “Because you don't have the people skills to describe it? Autism levels skyrocketing”
Me: T_T4 -
Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!
Now Talking to my girlfriend.
Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep2 -
Me: *has problem, goes through hours worth of crazy complicated troubleshooting and tests to try and fix problem*
Literally anyone: have you tried the that super basic thing that you're supposed to do every time you start?
Me: oH GoDdAMMIT!!6 -
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK MICROSOFT?!!
I go to log into my laptop:
me: *enter the pin*
Windows: Error
me: Ok let's try the password...
Win: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: *checking my password manager* Nope, pretty sure that's correct... Ok, whatever let's try to reset it.
me: *generates new password and resets the password for the account*
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new password*
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: that's weird... let's try that again
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: Ok... reset once more *I enter the same password I generated before*
Windows: ThAt Is An OlD pAsSwOrD
me: *getting really pissed* FINE, GODDAMIT, HERE, NEW PASSWORD
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new new password*
Windows: wRoNg PaSsWoRd!
jdjsjcjj+3+@!o(€;#@!(&(1!!#((#(€_"jsjeucjcjfdjosdifhshabxnfnxjsosoguwqlqqlall#7@+1(
aaaaaáaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT CUNTS AT MICROSOFT!!!!!1!!!!!!!
I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO THOUSAND PIECES AND THEN RUN YOU THROUGH A SHREDDER!!
YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTIC CUNTS
FREAKING DEGENERATES22 -
Me: I want to try Angular2 as a frontend framework.
Boss: Just use jQuery.
Me: That's not a framework but syntactic sugar for JavaScript. I rather not use it at all and rely more on ES6 shims. Let's maybe try vuejs.org?
Boss: Other devs know jQuery, just write it in jQuery. We'll need to build it fast and you have used jQuery before, haven't you?
Me: Yes, but ...
Boss: And you haven't used these recommendations.
Me: Yes, but ...
Boss: I won't take the risk. I want something that is known to work.
Me <dying on the inside>: If you insist.
Image source: https://hakanforss.wordpress.com/20...
PS: I don't work there anymore ;)
11 -
Coworker: "Yeah, I know the code module is 25K lines of code, but don't try to break it up. At some point I realized that they just have to be that big."
Me: 😦3 -
Not sure if those are real song names or Spotify is trolling me when I try to trigger a "no results" UI in my app.
6 -
You know you are a geek when you try to shoo away a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary...4
-
Had an onsite at Google.
After a couple of days recruiter told me to try in 6 months to a year again.
It sucks that feeling.5 -
Me: "I should try to waste less money this month"
Also me: "I wonder what 1000 euro whiskey tastes like..."
(Please describe in comments, I don't actually have 1000 euros for whiskey.)11 -
*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss
I got solution
but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution
*came back on desk*
me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what was solution ? wtf?1 -
CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .
Me: yep, it’s really useful
CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?
Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.
CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...2 -
Me: Updates my debian.
Nautilus: Is slow af.
Me: *googles alternatives*
Me: Let's try ranger.
Me 10 sec after installing: Holy jumping jesus on a breadstick there's a lot of shortcuts.7 -
You hired me to be a JavaScript developer. Just because you have stock inMicrosoft is not a good reason to try stuffing Typescript down my throat. Maybe you should have hired a Typescript developer!6
-
There is no hope for this one. Actual user remark: "I had to uninstall AVG: it kept bugging me with these irritating warnings whenever I try to install new cracked (with microtorrent downloaded) software" :/1
-
today I experienced real-time bug fixing and deployment..
The phone was attached to the debugger, the client is using the app, me catching the logs.
Client: oh here is wrong behavior.
Me: *tapping on keyboard, then* ok try now please..
😅2 -
God knows how many morons try to brag to me on how they know hardware programming because they own an Arduino, whenever I say I study Electrical Engineering.4
-
Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦
3 -
Someone put my name on a mailing list for pornographic material to try to get me fired from my new job6
-
User:
"Your application does not show notifies"
Test the app, search trough the logs, try and try again. Nothing.
Me:
"Did you disabled the notifies in Windows"
User:
"Yes! Uopps...."1 -
Me: Right, time to sit down and write some code.
Also me: I think I need to try a new IDE to see if that makes me more productive.
Productivity tools are my own productivity anti-pattern...!3 -
- my son, can you fix the window ?
=ok dad *after a while * I installed win10 try it now.
-wtf I meant the window of my room, bring me back my lovely Xp1 -
New rule: if you come to me for tech help and didn't try turning it off and on, don't even bother.6
-
client : show website
me: sir server is down
client : what? I don't know,I want to see my website.
me: sir try to understand it is not my issue
client *call cut*
fucking asshole -_-1 -
This just happened. What the actual fuck!
I'll try my shot to experience. They are bad that doesn't mean I shouldn't experience.
It'll give me some different perspective and learnings.
51 -
A "online" friend wants me to create a wp website.
I declined it.
Then he asked me, if I would at least try it, when I have free time.
Geez.2 -
Github README: Try the demo before getting started.
Me: Runs the demo
Demo: 96 errors with 32 warnings
VS: Run the latest build?
Me: Yes
VS: Unavailable.
Demo: (evil laugh)
Me: F### you dev!4 -
I hate this guys in my class who are asking me for a solution for the programming homework but they don't even try to solve it by their own...😔7
-
Me: I am ready to marry my soulmate.
Everyone: Who's the luck girl?
Me: My laptop.
Everyone: 😳(speechless)
Ps: should i try it on april fool?6 -
Me: Found solution on StackOverFlow, lets copy/paste code and try it out
*Clicks ctrl+v*
Computer: There's your value!
Me: Wait that's not what I copied
*notices that I copied from a different computer and expected it to paste on this one*
*cries in corner* T_T6 -
Just had someone try to tell me that Windows programs are more stable in WINE than in Windows. Haha no.6
-
On the phone.
Them: "So we do X and Y and Z... can you try again?"
Me: "Yup. Still getting max retries error"
Them: "You know what, let me restart the server"
Me: "Whatever you did it worked. API is back online"
Them: "You're kidding me right?"
Took us 4 hours to restart a server.1 -
Me: "You could try using Redis, cache that baby and try and squeeze some speed"
Dev: "Hun?! Should I use it on the front end or the back end?"
Well... Webdev is not his thing to be fair!4 -
Every time I tell a more senior dev I need help, they tell me to try the obvious things, I tell them I tried those things already, and they think I must have just done it wrong. So they spend an hour explaining to me how to do something I literally just did, and then more time trying the exact same things I just tried. Nobody wins.
Except for me when I find the correct solution while they’re re-implementing the failed solutions because nobody trusted me.
Sadly, this happens all the time. “Did you try a and b?” “Yeah, no luck.” “Okay, so when you try a, you have to remember to call c and d. Let me explain...”
So much wasted time. But the silver lining is in getting to be the one who found the solution (until they wonder ‘why’d she even come to me anyway if she knew the answer?’ ... 🙄) Because I trusted you to know what “team” means, and it’s not too late to learn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
!rant
TFW your graphics ASM code works on the first try.
Yes, it just happened to me, and it's a relatively annoying rectangle drawing routine.
Writing complicated ASM code and making it work on the first try is definitely a new thing to me, I feel so powerful! >:D4 -
I've been writing documentation and I've already caught myself pressing ctrl + space a few times to try and get Word to autocomplete a long word for me.4
-
Freelance:
Me: I'm done with the major bugs. Can I do the minor bugs tomorrow?
PM: can you hang on just a moment? Can you pls remove the ...
Me: I'll try. I'm experiencing brain dysfunction right now.
PM: Oh? Hahaha! Just a minor tweak tho. Teeheehee.
Me: (fudge)3 -
working in IT support sometimes makes me wonder if people are really that stupid or they try to test me if i am really stupid.4
-
In two days, on 28 June, I'll know whether I'm going to enter the path of becoming a software dev or if I have to try again next year. Wish me luck fam.7
-
Parents - It’s so hard naming kids you know.
Me - At least it’s an one time job, try naming VARIABLES.6 -
Me: I've got this wonderful idea, I'll try it in swift
OSX: download the 4.47 GIGABYTE Xcode
Me: :'( ok
Xcode : you need to update your OS and that's again more than 4.5 GIGABYTE
Me : Sublime -> Main.class
1 -
What a joke PayPal's so called testing environment is!
Last time I tried to use it, PayPal told me not to try because it doesn't work.2 -
Happy new year to the best community ever. May you have more ++ this year.
As promised, 2018 is the year i will TRY to post a rant a day. 😁😁😁 Wish me luck.1 -
After 700, it takes you to the dark side! That dino bird surprised me outta nowhere.
Try and beat my score? Anyone up for the challenge? :P
9 -
That moment when you teaching your coworkers about vba:
Me: and you close the formula with a curly bracket
Co-worker: Wow that's easy, and you say coding is hard
Me: you're right, here try to learn Java2 -
How long till I can try again? Please, tell me! I'm dying to know!!
And I never got the verification code either.
---___---
7 -
So I was just watching a show with subs and see this line:
"So just try and catch me!"
The first thought that came to mind was:
try {}
catch {}6 -
I need someone standing behind me 24/7 making sure I don't try to String == "test"
Just wasted half an hour wondering why nothing was happening11 -
I don't really have to help her with tech, however, let me just brag a little..
I convinced my mom to try out Linux a few years back. To this day she still uses Manjaro, and tells me she has less issues than in her Windows days. So proud. -
Me when after a client has signed a spec document and they still try to add more features. Cannot find words to explain how much I hate scope creep.
2 -
The park, under a tree. Preferably beside a lake or stream.
There can be people present, so long as they’re not too loud and don’t ask what I’m doing, hit on me, or try to chitchat.10 -
make code change
stop server
try to re run server
dependency problems
java, tomcat, gradle , eclipse, just kill me, dont torture me like this1 -
My mom is amazing, bought one of this for me to try and Limon concentrate because I love lemon juice
3 -
First wikipedia asks me donation. Then tells me facts 98% Indians do not donate. And when I try to donate, it doesn't let me donate without PAN. I am a student.6
-
Every time I want to post here about a problem, my social anxiety tells me what I should try before asking about it.3
-
class Ex extends Slut {
Boy[] boyfriend;
Ex(){
boyfriend = new Boy[2];
boyfriend [0] = new Me();
try{
boyfriend [1] = new Boy();
} catch(HeFoundOut e) {
boyfriend [0] = null;
}
}5 -
Normal person:what do you in front of laptop all day?
Me: I try to cushion the fatal blows of reality -
Ok soooo boss asks me: "When is the website going to be ready?"
me: today i'll be through
----------------------------------------
4 hours later:
Site 90% done
- messed up theme
- try reinstalling theme
- 2 try
- 3rd try
- 4th try
- 5th try: success , time 6:00pm
-----------------------------------------
SENDING DAILY REPORT:
Site is 90% complete and waiting for content from client
- projects
- logo
- images3 -
me@devrant:~$ sudo apt-why install gnome
Sorry, unable to find a reason to install gnome.
Try Xfce, Cinnamon or KDE instead5 -
How to make me not want to
ever contribute to you:
'Please read and sign this CLA'
( Also telling me that shit only whenI try
opening a PR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU )5 -
Chief Software Engineer: "There is no way this has ever worked."
Me: "Did you try it?"
CSO: "No."
CSO: tries it.
CSO: "Nevermind"
CSO: Hangs up abruptly. -
Today's argument .4 of second is 400ms not 40ms. For fuck sake listen to what I am saying instead try to bully me into fucking believing your bull shit you fucking cock womble!3
-
Me: Let's try to implement this in js...
Also me: npm install webpack webpack-cli typescript --save-dev1 -
My boss has been working in web development for roughly 10 years now.
Today he learned about the existence of try/catch in JavaScript and asked me in which browsers it's
supported in 😢 -
Rust I think, it introduced me to using iterators and monads. I try to use them wherever I can, they're so cleeaan.
-
Gotta love when recruiters try telling me they have a front end role that requires 5+ years experience in Java and Spring.
Get your technologies right2 -
** Chatting to a Dev and a normal being**
Dev: Damn Linux command isn't working!
Me: Try Sudo
Normal Being: ... Are u guys cooking meth or something?? 😱
Me: LEAVE 👉🚪 -
QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
...
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y
FML2 -
I try to change my workplace to a local coffee shop or library.
That new environment and a good, large coffee really boost me -
Writing code to put me to sleep.
try{
me.sleep();
} catch (InterruptedException e) {
throw Pillow.atInterruption(e);
} -
A colleague is walking me trough some of the source code because we try to fix an issue.
colleague: Oh we don't use this anymore
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: This part we should refactor someday
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: Oh I think this is old code and does not exist anymore.
Me: .. .. ...
Great Colleague BTW :)
PS: fix will be posted Later.3 -
I'll never understand distro hopping. You're having something that works fine and that you're used to. You can always change the look by using another DE. But you prefer to throw it all away, try something else, end up deceived, try something else.
Just, why? Educate me, what are you exactly looking for that makes you want to change after some time?11 -
I don't mind helping but puuuuuuleeeeeease learn from what I have been teaching. Flex your brain and give me your initial ideas instead of waiting to be given the answer. I need to know you are learning and you are critically thinking the error. I don't expect you to be right but I expect you to at least try. Please try!2
-
When will I learn. Every time I try to update Android Studio, it breaks all my shit.
Serves me fucking right.
2 -
Let me try if this will motivate me:
Open DevRant.
Search for "wk107".
** scroll **
** scroll **
** scroll ** -
This code smells, its like a puzzle that only will get more complicated the more you try to solve it.
- me after plowing my keyboard for a week writing subpar ad hoc code -
Oh that looks pretty let me try.
Ow God why !!
....
Ah....that makes sense
Obsess over it for months
Make failed side projects with it.
Ad to cv -
At a coffee shop, not sure what is happening, but there is a 1/4 Chance of me connecting to a server each time I try to open a page! Fuck it is frustrating!
-
Working in the government debugging usually starts with “have you tried it in IE? If yes, try it in something else. If no, try it in IE.”
Oh 2024 please deliver us from this hellscape which the heathens before me have wrought.2 -
another true story time:
be me
read about banned pokemon episodes on wikipedia
electric soldier porygon: an episode that red blue flashes caused 685 viewers taken to hospitals by ambulances
😈lets try it
write a simple program that makes same light effects
try it on myself
no kill
try it on roommates
no kill
try to send it as many people i can reach
omg people why don't you die?
gave up after 1 week of unsuccessful attempts3 -
I swear if you try and ghost me after making me waste my time with those labrat🐀 tests...
...let's just say you're going to find all your companies email inboxes in pretty bad shape by september3 -
!Rant
To Coders suffering from back pain, try this.
Worked for me so i'm sharing it. The demonstration starts at 3:25.
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
Me: we are running in circles going nowhere 🤬
Manager: ok, from tomorrow let's try walking backwards triangles maybe that works better
Me: 🤦♂️🤷♂️3 -
Same twat manager from my last rant... He'd call my mobile after hours because we were friends once, and progressively get drunk throughout the call and try to come up with ways to usurp the director, who is actually a decent guy. He'd try to talk me into schemes and convince me to leave with him or get him ousted. Silly fucker.
-
Someone : How to shutdown the computer from web browser
Others : Mm.. That's not possible 😂.
Me : Try https://github.com/neutralinojs/... 👈🏻 🧐5 -
Followed the angular js tutorial until routing section. Then gave up.
It's not for me. Maybe I'll try again in a few weeks.5 -
So I decided to try out Kubuntu 18.10, aaaaand it doesn't work too well for me. Oh well, back to 18.04 :v
1/3
12 -
I see many people try to build automated insults using ML and reddit roast me, is it possible to build an automated compliment bot ?5
-
Me: Build Swift 3 Project got 1 warning: Conversion to swift 4 available. : “Let’s try that” after that archives it: 100 warnings and 20 errors -_-5
-
I want to dive a bit into GUI-Programming on Linux.
Can you recommend me any Languages/Frameworks/Librarys ?
I thought about giving Vala a try, but wanted to hear your thoughts.5 -
Me coding in swift:
func doStuff() {
// code
}
"oh I see the code isn't working yet. Let me try this"
func doStuff() {
DispatchQueue.main.async {
// code
}
}4 -
Why install a native app to use devrant on a mobile phone? Your website is not totally broken in a mobile browser. Responsive web is possible in 2020, believe me and give it a try!12
-
Each time I try to study someone else’s (cool) JS files, to learn from it, there are always some funky function calls that throw me off. I wish the person could be beside me and just walk me through why they did what they did at each step.
It’s just tough sometimes. I see all these cool projects on GitHub and I go, “let me try to analyse it,” and then I see all these properties too. Sometimes I feel compelled to just check the API but it seems like I’d be going into a blackhole of never-ending API depths.
What are some tips that you JS pros have?2 -
Back when I was a total noob at programming probably 6-7year back. I once fucking try to memorize even-odd number program for the practical test because I was unable to understand anything related programming.
It was like - read 20times the include statement and try to remember what was in between < >.
I totally feel embarrassed now after looking back, that silly me didn't even try programming properly.1 -
Is it me or you also feel guilty for handing over the shitty code that does the job and try to make it better before handing over?
-
When devs clash:
-See, I've got this *condition* where myDick() is bigger than yourDick(), so Try{} me and see what you Catch{}2 -
Can we all please try to keep emotion out of coding? It never ever helps to get upset at a code review.
Please please please accept constructive criticism, and dish it back to me! You can hate my code just don't hate me. :/2 -
I'm gonna try to use Microsoft Edge one more time at least for a week instead of Firefox… Wish me luck?8
-
Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.
Also Me Sometimes later:
MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.
God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.2 -
Colleague: Why doesn't this line of code print something out?
Me: Are you sure this line of code has been executed? Try Adding a break point here.
(add break point and debug...)
Colleague: Oh. WTF?!3 -
Me: your SSH wrapper is breaking how Ansible works
Ops: try to use Ansible in another way
Me: your SSH wrapper is breaking how Ansible works
Ops: try to use Ansible in another way
< This goes on for two weeks >
Me: can we please not use wrapper
Ops: we use it to manage ssh keys
Me: this is breaking basic ssh functionality
Ops: OK we are setting up a weird convoluted way so you can run your Ansible playbooks.
Me: ... < doing "it is at least something" dance > -
In front of a vending machine:
Me: gonna buy a drinj.
Me to me: ganna try to crash these windows xp pcs with 3 mb ram, tear them appart, ripp of their soul, and later on ask the manager why this happened, cos afterwards I have no clue 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈2 -
So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.
Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .
*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building
Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.
*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build
I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂 -
My last week of vacations. A brake on bussiness programing... lol
Monday:
Receive a phone call from a colegue:
Hi the equipment it not working.
Me: ( upset with the acuracy) reboot that shit!
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😲😨😵😱
Today (Thursday):
Collegue: The printer is not working!
Me: 😡 Im on vacation. Check the cable or try to reinstall the printer...
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
2 fucking hours later:
Collegue try to call
Me: Did not answer... 😡 Fuch this shit.
Colegue send text message saying that they had a problem on the video projector but its ok now..
Me: 😠😡😢😢😢
I'M ON V A C A T I O N3 -
I've never had to put up with bullshit after bullshit after FUCKING BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
ONE THING GOES WRONG SO I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE OH SHIT I LOST THE CORD, FOUND IT, DOESNT WORK, FIX THAT, "COULD NOT EXPAND FILESYSTEM PLEASE TRY RASPI CONFIG" BLAH BLAH. I WAKE UP THINKING TODAY WILL GO SMOOTHLY BUT LINUX DECIDES TO FUCK ME OVER THEN I TRY TO GO TO THE PI BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST REFUSES TO WORK6 -
Professor: with rm -r /* you can delete everything on your pc
Me: ou boii lets try it can't be so bad🤪
Prof: pls never try this, when i say everything i mean everything
Me: ou frick what did i do 😱
Note for me: Next time do a backup4 -
#momtexts
"I don't know what button got pushed but I can't type with my laptop key board now. Can you tell me what buttons to try?" -
I'm thinking about switching back to Arch. Are there any distros, you can recommend me?
I've used Manjaro few months ago, but I'm also willing to try something different or even pure Arch.3 -
>be me a tech nerd
>see sexy women
>try to engage in conversation but only make werid gurgling noises
>never live it down3 -
Best part of being a dev: when I try to explain what I'm doing to non-dev, they look at me as if was talking about black magic. A mix of fear and admiration.
-
I love Microsoft softwares and Apple hardware but I try to keep them away from me to prefer free softwares or at least MIT license things.
That's something that makes me feel guilty.4 -
Today i try to Reprogram something from 1995 because my grandma got an pc update from Xp to win10 and one of her main programs don't work there
Wish me luck6 -
After a long development and you do a live testing you but you forget to update the prod repo. AFkdkskdkdkskf errors is coming. My boss try to kick me 😂😂
-
Trying to learn something new.
Find a library in a foreign language. It's c++.
Unable to include lib.
Copy contents
Try absolute path
Compiler gives me the finger
Abandon project -
Conversation with a backend co-worker.
Me(Frontend): Here! The POS printer (for development purpose) has arrived! It supports Linux and Windows as mentioned on the box. I've sent you a decent npm package (escpos). Try to print a barcode with it, I'll sync with you tomorrow.
(Next day at noon)
Me: Whatcha doin?
Backend guy: Trying to set up the printer.
Me: ON YOU MAC?
Backend guy: Yes.
I try be as helpful as I can to anyone but it seems like this guy actively looks for a way to invent problems!3 -
Man it really pisses me off when people try to manage shit by keeping all the windows on the same desktop, meanwhile i create a new desktop for every app i open.7
-
A contact of mine asked me to try and recover emails she had deleted from her gmail. I told her if this is the case, I cannot help and she needed to contact google.
Unfortunately, she wouldn't accept this and kept asking me to try, so I reluctantly gave it a shot.
As I thought there was nothing I could do.
I am now half expecting her to ask me to try and access googles backups.
IM A GAMES DEVELOPMENT STUDENT, NOT MR ROBOT!1 -
Me: preparing to go to sleep.
Github: you’re now able to use code spaces beta.
Me: fuck sleep for a while and let’s give it a try
Anyone is using it ?6 -
facebook, where the fuck do you have a list of your scopes, do i have to magically guess them?! just let me get the fucking dictionary and try every word!!!!!!!!!1
-
Right now anything I write quickly becomes crap. I'm happy. It means the whole "lets try out raw javascript again" thing actually helps me learn something.
-
Technobabble really bothers me… if I don’t try to overwhelm you with buzzwords and overly complex technical jargon within my industry, then afford me the same courtesy!3
-
When people try to tell me that spaces are better than tabs and that PascalCase is better than snake_case :-310
-
The ability to vertically align in css correctly. On my first try.
That would save me a world of headaches... 😒5 -
So I'm a final year comp sci student, and really struggling to find a job. I've been applying a lot, doing assessments e.t.c, but people don't seem to like me when they meet me. Am I doing something wrong? I normally research the company as much as I can and try to show how much I know, and try to give the best answers I can think of, but I'm not sure why they don't like me. Any tips or advice?13
-
Colleague: "Let me just try that on a decent phone".
Hes an Android user.
Me: "Yeah. Try one of these"
1 -
No matter what I do and try: Scala always look so damn ugly.
And yes, I do use scalafmt. Yes, I try to follow the scala approach, yet still -- my poor eyes.
It's also not helping that the bracket mess and the lack IDE-help in regards to finding where I missed them reminds me of time wasted in lisp. -
Freenom just removed one of my domains because "it was hosting ads". When I try to re-register it, they want me to pay for it. Is this a common practice of theirs?2
-
When someone asks me to work on a project and I check if I've got the time to work on it
try:
import time
except ImportError:
print ("Time not available")
Result: "Time not available" -
Can someone try to sell me on NoSQL? I've never seen a use case for it so I want to hear a NoSQL Fan's perspective13
-
For me the most frustrating thing about working on someone elses project, is when you try something and it just does not work, you dont even know the code to try think about what the problem might be to begin with. What about you guys ?
-
Me and my coworkers are going to have a weekend "gamejam"/hackathon starting tonight but we can't think of any good challenges to try and code - can you guys come up with something we can try and tackle in a weekend?3
-
Is it only me who mostly failed on technical interview. Because most of the time from my previous employer they always try to keep me stay whenever i submit resignation letter and they said that I one of the good performer...1
-
"When I try make a change, system XYZ is not happy do you know why?"
Really? That's all you're giving me to go on? -
Fuck away from me And Get FUCKED.
FEels so fucking good fucking off other companies who try to contact me first and give me an interview JUST GO FUCKING FIRSR YOUR DADS ASSHOLE TILL HE SHITS IN UR MOUTH FROM THE SUPER MASSIVE GIANT SHITHOLE FUCK YOU FUCK OFFF
6 -
Whenever I'm trying to get something done urgently suddenly something wrong happens. And then a chain of 'something wrong' starts. It doesn't matter how many different ways I try, there's always something wrong waiting for me on the way.
And when I try to fix 'something wrong', something else wrong happens.
I feel like this whole universe, each and every atom in this galaxy is trying to fuck me up.3 -
How programming affected me.
I solve everything into smaller problems and now if I cant it irritates me. On top of that I try to find logic in everything and ruin good jokes. -
A tale as old as time:
Customer: "This is wrong in all these X places!?!?!?"
-screenshots, panic, etc.-
Many emails and clarifications later we find out it is wrong ... in just ONE place ... and it wasn't even one of their initial examples.
Customer: "Why does this take so long to fix???"
Bro.... -
Me: Hey check this app about dev rants!
Windows phone user: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
At least they can try :
"http://devrant.io/rants/" + Rand();
4 -
I don't have any bright skills in IT so if u want to success , don't try to learn everything :| Don't be like me...1
-
Maybe it's just me, but:
1. Never works on first try:
doStuffWithWhile()
while (someShitIsNotOver)
doShit()
2. Works like a charm:
doStuffWithManualLoop()
doShit()
if (someShitIsNotOver)
doStuffWithManualLoop()6 -
@#&$%₩
Stupid fucking Astrobox, why won't you pick up the 3d printer anymore??
Why is this fucking piece of shit giving me issues every goddamn time I try to use it? Why?? -
Soon I'll reinstall my linux system. (Currently Antergos + KDE). People keep mentioning arch, i3, and rice. I wanna give it a try. Any suggestions or hints you guys can give me beforehand?2
-
I'm doing it !
I WILL run current PROD projects in a preview 1. (Well, at least I will try).
Wish me luck !
8 -
People ask me why do I have trust issues. They should try to code and make things work properly... they would understand
-
I keep closing browser tabs by mistake whenever I try to expand text selection by clicking CTRL + W
IntelliJ ruined me! -
i have a problem in vb6
im recently make a simple chat room
i want my chat like this
me : bla bla bla
stranger : bla bla
me : bla bla bla
im using vbCrLf is not like tht but like this
me :blablablastranger:blablame:blabl
im just try Chr(13)&Chr(10), vbCrLf, vbNewLine
is still nothing
can anyone help me?
*sorry for my bad english4 -
I try to be braver, but I always pussy out, I'd like like a wingman that forces me into uncomfortable situations but I don't want to depend on crutches
-
PM: hi, how are you?
Me: Okay, Not okay
PM: same here --- Okay and not okay.
PM: Also, I see three items are still pending with you. can you give it closure today?
Me: Okay, I will look it now and try to close it.
-
Yesterday I wanted to give Gentoo a try. I could not even get the ethernet working on the fucking live-USB. Guess no Gentoo for me.
-
Every time i try to learn a new skill it always ends up in leaving the course in between. Does this only happens to Me? Or there is anyone else?3
-
Anyone freelancing even if they are very introverted?
Would love to try freelancing but i fear that me being introverted could make me seem incompetent.5 -
"Get out of the weeds" they tell me.
I try and then every.single.project.goes.red.
Maybe I should just do and stop trying to manage.2 -
Read about concepts that are new to me and try to implement them.
Code reviews with experienced devs -
anyways my ex told me if i want to try our relationship out again for the second time, i can always text him. but after he said that he blocked me on everything. i was thinking about texting him because i do miss him. he didn’t block me on instagram though.5
-
I'm getting contacted by remotely.works with job offers, I like the idea of doubling my current salary, but it really worries me the job stability and I believe switching jobs to work remote for a US-based company leaves me with responsibilities an employer normally take cares for me.
Should I risk it and give it a try?3 -
HELP ME DECIDE !
For my next project, i am gonna make a voice assistant app in javascript. Comment what commands and corresponding actions you would like to see. Try ta think of something funny and entertaining !5 -
I feel that these little bitches should get what they keep asking for by being evil mean spirited garbage
I am so sick of being around whores at work
Every time they tease me or try to tempt me I think why the hell would anyone defend them ?6 -
My rubber duck.
Because talking out loud has kept me from making a lot of mistakes. Sometimes ideas are just dumb if you try to explain them. Even if it's to an inanimate object. -
Is scrolling broken on devRant on Firefox for anyone else? When I click on a rant and try to scroll, some wonky piece of Javascript keeps bumping me back up as I try to scroll down, with both the scroll wheel and the scroll bar. God damn it, stop hijacking scrolling! There is no reason for you to!3
-
Ciao a tutti i dev, se siete italiani datemi capire come funziona st'affare!
HI all, if you are Italian try to reach me out!3 -
I usually like sticking to a distro but when the DE I wanted to try and like at the moment in time couldn't be loaded onto manjaro without serious intervention I am deciding to try out void linux with anyone has any tips you can tell me5
-
I hate so much RStudio that it gives me anxiety attacks whenever I try to debug something with it. What a fucking nightmare1
-
Try playing T-Rex game in chrome with dark mode enabled. For me, this looks like a bug, but maybe it's a feature!
1 -
It amazes me how infectious delusional thinking and in general malfunctioning dysfunctional mindsets are
Where they try to associate one thing with another and make you scared too
Selling a fucking phone ! -
Are you devRant guys doing maintenance?
Every time I try to ++ something now it just tell me I've got some connection issue...
Edit: it looks like fixed now :) -
Honestly, fuck my computer. I dual boot win10 and arch, and due to some work i had to do over on win10, its been 2-3months since i've booted back into linux. Today i decided to go update my stuff, turns out it wont even boot into to GUI. When i try to go in tty and upgrade everything with pacman, it gives me an error without even telling me whats the problem. Next i try to install it again to another hdd, doesnt work. Someone please kill me swiftly....9
-
How about, instead of bitching about how bad it is that something that I had nothing to do with doesn't work, actually listen to me while I try and fix it.2
-
God - this code is disgusting! Well, let me just try to change this one repo call to return an Optional...
"Hey! The app is broken! What did you do?!?!"
God dammit... -
I always try to make solid plans with an exact time. It helps keep me on schedule with work and friends
-
To this day, I'm constantly surprised how developers who are more experienced and senior than me, DO NOT use try-catch wraps around their code before pushing it onto the production server.
Developers like these have such a high level of confidence that scares the crap outta me.9 -
For me it's going to be:
Learn cpp (for my education)
Make a game (to train cpp)
Try to find a project idea generator or build one -
Me: Let's try the ballmer peak
One Beer
Other Beers
One Cuba Libre
Two Cuba Libres
Me: I think I'm ready let me take the test
Result: 93/100
mmm Interesting, let me try more. -
So today I stuck my python in a cage and did some sea# surfing
What are the odds it's gonna byt me good when I try to play with it again4
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