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-
Ok so 10 yrs ago:-
Professor: Make this web front-end with blah blah blah pages.
*I create the thing and submit it*
<Next lecture i come in class and the projector is showing my website>
<I get excited that im bout to be praised for my work infront of whole class>
<I grab a seat>
Professor: I had high hopes from you. I did not expect PLAGRISM from YOU.
Me: Wwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaat the faaaaaaaaaaaaq??? Where is it which part????
Professor: Ive seen "lorem Ispem" before somewhere else. This is fucking plagrism.
<I sat 15 mins in disbelief>
<Got out of class>
<Dropped out of the course>25 -
A rare bug appeared. It was my duty to finish it.
SH = Manager
SH: So when do you think you can finish the task?
Me: I still have to analyze the problem. Give me a moment and I'll get back to you.
SH: Alright.
*An hour later*
SH: *Approaches my desk* Have you found the source of the problem?
Me: Not yet. Please give me some more time.
SH: Ok.
*An hour later*
SH: *the approach* You found it yet?
Me: Yes, I've found the the source of the problem, But... *explains the problem and thus concluding that it's a complicated bug*
SH: Can you finish it by tomorrow?
Me: I'll do the best I can but I am not entirely sure if I can finish it by tomorrow.
SH: OK great!
*The next day*
SH: *Le approach* Hey I have a colleague here that may be able to solve the problem, he has skills with XYZ. Ok, I will leave you two at it then. *the leave*
Helper: So can you tell me about the issue here?
Me: *explains the bug and the source of the problem*
Helper: Have you tried solution A?
Me: Yes sir, but it yields a different output... *explains what happened with solution A*
Helper: Well, that won't work. What about solution B?
Me: I've tried that, too. *Another lengthy explanation*
Helper: Welp, ok. I'll get back to you on that.
(...But he never came.)
*A few hours later*
SH: *A.P.P.R.O.A.C.H.* Hey I have this team lead from another department. I think he can help you out on this one. *L.E.A.V.E.*
Helper 2: What seems to be the problem?
Me: *Explains again with all the solutions I tried but failed*
Helper 2: Wow. That really seems to be a complicated problem.
~~
Me (In my head): -_-
~~
Helper 2: Listen, I need to get back to my team. I'll keep you posted if I happen to find a solution for your problem alright?
Me: Alright thanks.
*Towards the end of the day*
SH: *APPROACHHHH* Have you resolved the bug yet?
~~
Me (In my head): You made me spend half the FUCKING day explaining to these people who didn't even give a piece of FUCKING SHIT to contribute to the problem and you are asking me if I am done with this FUCKING BUG? FUCK YOU, YOU SON OF A -
~~
Me: No, it is not finished yet..
SH: You have to finish this because we don't have tomorrow.
~~
Me (In my head): SHDIFHWISGSIFGSISBAUDBEIQBDIWGFIEBWIDHWIQBDOSBCISBDOSHDIAGSUSVDIFBDKDJWIQKDBDIDGSUWVDIABDIXBSIDBDIDBWUWGUSVDUWVDJQBDUDVWISHDUWVFG
~~
I went home for the day.21 -
Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
classmate: Hey, "friend" told me you do freelance website development. right? I need to create a new website and need your help.
Me: umm... OK... what's it about?
Classmate: It's for my dad's friend's business.
Me: OK. but I will charge the standard rate.
classmate: No... I will make it myself. I just want your help.
Me(Internally): ...not again...
Me: Do it yourself then.
Classmate: It will be quick. an hour or two max.
Me: *speechless*
Classmate: And one of my uncle who did IT told me that c++ is faster. can we use that instead of HTML?
Me: huh...?
classmate: you don't know shit.
... classmate walks away...
This guy somehow manages to get As in exams (mostly cheating. and our papers are shitty theory papers which you can mug up. so that helps) and in a year will have an IT degree.56 -
Production is down
Me to Customer :What did you do?
Customer: Nothing
Me blurt out: The fuck you didn't!
Customer: ...
Me: ...(fuckfuckfuck)
Customer:... Well, I did run these scripts..
Me: (oh thank Christ)
Me: ok, I'll get right on it (Click)
Me to TeamLead: client called. Their prod is down!
TeamMate: did he say he didn't do anything?
Me:Yes
TeamMate: ..... Every fucking time...14 -
Me being a good collegue teaching my friend basic C++ for upcoming exam and trying my best not tore my friend apart.
Crime scene: university's library, today, 1PM.
Me: Create a new class, just type 'class' and hit TAB
Him: I'm trying to but it pastes some code
Me: That's the point of hitting TAB.. now that we are finished, include it in your main file, the one with main entry point
Him: I have no such thing
Me: Look for main function
Him: There's none, what is it called?
Me: ...main
Him: Yeah, what is it called?
Me: ..main, the name is main
Him: I get it, but what is it called?
Me: 'MAIN' FOR GODS SAKE, THE NAME IS 'MAIN' *points towards my code*..
Him: Oh, okay, I get it now
Me: Ok, let's compile
*Error pops on his screen*
Him: You know what, I don't think you can really program.. *closes laptop and walks away*.
FML16 -
Do not continue reading if you value your life.
Visual fucking studio 2015 installation. MOTHERFUCKER !!!
OK new project will only work on VS2015. Need to download it. OK, go to MS website. Project works with community edition. Fucking great. Download the installer. Run the installer. MOTHERFUCKER DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BROWSER TO THANK ME, YOU FUCKING FUCK. Ok...Wait to download the packages. One fucking eternity later download completes. FUCKING GREAT. Proceed to package installation. After two fucking hours installation progress bar stays the same. Google "vs 2015 installation stuck windows 7". MOTHERFUCKING BACKGROUND PROCESS IS FUCKING STUCK AND INSTALLATION DOES NOT CONTINUE. FUCK YOU. I'VE LOST TWO HOURS. OK, stop the process. Installation gets cancelled. Run the installer again. STOP THANKING ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT :@ OK, check again all downloaded packages. All good. Continue with installation. Installation completes. MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU WANT TO RESTART THE WHOLE SYSTEM ? FUCK YOUR WINDOWS UPDATES. Ok, restart and be done with it. SSD to the rescue. Try to set up the project.
MOTHERFUCKER I DIDN'T INSTALL THE C++ PACKAGES. WTF WERE YOU DOING ALL THAT TIME? OK, run installer again and install C++ packages. I SWEAR TO GOD MICROSOFT, IF YOU THANK ME ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, YOU'RE GETTING HATE MAIL.
Ok, installation completes. It's coding time. NO BITCH. VS2015 silently crashes after splash screen. :@@@ Google wtf is wrong again, turns out the C++ packages fuck shit up. Ok, pass some arguments to devenv.exe to reset. Restart VS. Ok, seems to be working now. Make a test project. Fucking awesome. Close VS and get the project files from perforce.
OK, files downloaded. Open VS again....
VS: "You're my bitch, you won't code today. Run from console and pass some shitty reset parameters"
YOU FUCKING FUCK. GO FUCK YOURSELF UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE. Ok, pass the parameters from console. Run again. Same "you're my bitch message" :@ OK, run with administrator rights, opens like charm. Run without admin rights again, "you're my bitch message". :@@@@@
Restart system, VS2015 finally opens project normally. Build project, 6934 errors.... :@ I'M DONE ! IM GOING BACK TO LINUX PROJECT. FUCK YOU ALL.18 -
Manager: You really shouldn’t be doing that
Dev: It’s in my job description
Manager: Yeah but you still shouldn’t be doing it.
Dev: Who should I hand it off to?
Manager: We don’t have anyone else to hand off that task to.
Dev: Ok, do I stop doing it?
Manager: 😡 Of course not, it needs to get done! I’m just saying you shouldn’t do it.
Dev: ???????????13 -
Manager: THE SERVER IS DOWN THE SERVER IS DOWN!!!!
Dev: Ok I’ll look into it
*5 mins later
Dev: Wow these are really strange logs, it’s like config values are being changed all over the place while I’m looking at it
Manager: Well I figured while you were looking into it I’d go i to the server settings and change everything I could find in order to try and get the server back up again. Two sets of hands are better than one, Is it up yet???
Dev: …No.
Manager: I THOUGT YOU SAID YOU’D LOOK INTO THIS. I NEED ANSWERS NOW. WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!?!?
Dev: …13 -
I go to unlock my car, but the button I usually use is gone. Instead now it unlocks by long-pressing the car handle.
Ok, got it.
Then my ignition isn't there? Oh, it's in the middle of the steering wheel now? Ok.. but it doesn't work? Oh I have to sign in with Google or Facebook, alright...
Wait, where's my odometer? Oh this is "card" view, and I guess I want "compact" view, huh. Is there a dark theme? Guess not.
Why can't I shift? Oh the stick is a hamburger button now, weird. Um, and reverse is in a sub-menu? That's going to get annoying.
Alright just need to look in the mirror to see if.. wtf? You call this "responsive" or something? I can't see out that tiny window.
I'm very disappointed in all this, I wonder if I can roll back. Oh WHERE ARE THE BRAKES OH GOD
UX DESIGNERS
HAVE
FUCKING
KILLED ME
WHY DID WE TRUST THEM AND THEIR GODFORSAKEN UPDATES10 -
"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"6 -
USER: I can't see any data in the page...!
ME: ok, I'll do a check
ME: API calls get no data back. Boss, did you change anything and put it in production?
BOSS: Absolutely not, I just modified the name of what was the "Family" parameter in "Type".
ME: Seems legit. Totally agree. I'm going to lunch. Can you check in the meanwhile why calling the API with "Family" does return nothing? Thanks.3 -
A recruiter called me today. I had to barracade myself in the laundry room to hear him, and still needed to ask him to repeat himself 7-8 times. he spoke at what must have been 15% volume with a super thick Indian accent. He also couldn't pronounce a full third of the terms.
Here's how it went.
recruiter: you full-stack dev? what experience?
me: yes, about 8 years, maybe 10.
recruiter: you know C#?
me: no.
recruiter: you know java? tomcat? spring?
me: no, I don't know Java.
recruiter: you know react? angular? apache? node?xml? json? html?
me: yes. yes, angular 1. yes, yes, ...
recruiter: ok, i email you java job posting
me: I don't know java.
recruiter: ok, i email you.
Recruiter used "email java job posting." It wasn't very effective.
Recruiter moves quickly! Recruiter used "did you get my email? email" immediately after. It was super effective! @Root becomes angered!
Recruiter calls.
Recruiter calls.
@Root becomes enraged!
Recruiter calls.
recruiter: what [???] [?] [???] [??] java [???] [??] [???] okay
recruiter: You know C#?
me: No, I still don't know C#.
recruiter: ok thank you for time. 😡 *click*
What just happened?
I really don't understand their species.39 -
Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* We need to do B
Dev: I know, you created a ticket for it yesterday
Manager: Yeah but it hasn’t been done yet. It needs to get done.
Dev: I’m currently working on A which is higher priority
Manager: Ok but B needs to be done too
Dev: I know, it’s next on my board
Manager: I’m just making sure you are aware of it
Dev: I am aware of it, it’s next on the board
Manager: Ok but make sure you do it after A
Dev: Yup it’s next up
Manager: Ok, don’t let anyone distract you
Dev: …9 -
So I just booted up my laptop.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
I agreed to all of it.
And continued my day.
Have a nice day everyone.
P.S no I'm not talking about emails10 -
When doing first level support....
[windows desktop software]
Me: How can I help you?
Client: I installed the latest update from your website yesterday, but the version number hasn't changed
Me: You downloaded version *** ?
Client: Yes
Me: And you installed it?
Client: Yes
Me: Did you get an error message during the installation?
Client: No, everything worked fine, no errors
Me: And the installation process was completed?
Client: I think so
Me: Hmmm... Lets try it again. I will assist you.
Client: Ok
Me: Start your browser and open the website.
Client: ..... did it
Me: Good. Now click on the link to the download page.
Client: .... did it
Me: Do you see the the update package at the top of the list?
Client: Yes.
Me: Ok. Now click on it.
Client: Why?5 -
Manager: What’s taking so long on that PR?? It’s just some small styling adjustments
Dev: No it’s not you added an entire new calendar module that doesn’t work
Manager: Ok but besides that it’s just a small couple of css edits
Dev: You made styling changes in 50 files, half of which break our mobile responsiveness
Manager: Well then STOP talking to me and FIX IT if you’re so smart.
Dev: You also added a series of filters on a table in this same PR that cause th—
Manager: OK SO I GOT A BIT DISTRACTED THE FACT IS IT ALL NEEDS TO GET DONE SO IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S ALL ON ONE PR SPLITTING THINGS UP INTO SMALL UPDATES IS JUST UNNECESSARY BUREAUCRACY AND IF YOU LIKE THAT THEN GO. WORK. FOR. THE GOVERNMENT!!!
Dev: …10 -
# Day 0:
Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."
Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."
Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"
Boss: "OK."
# Day 7:
Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?
Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."
Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"
Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.
Boss: "OK."
# Day 13:
Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."
Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."
Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."
Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.
Boss: "You should have told me."
Me: ಠ_ಠ9 -
I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"10 -
long rant = this;
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
The task: get Windows 7 on my mom's new Lenovo running win 10.
First idea: dual boot. Go into disk utility and shrink win 10 partition leaving empty partition. Easy!
Unfortunately it all went downhill from there.
Restart, can't get into boot menu. Google says you have to do that from Windows. Ok.
Laptop says BOOTING FROM CD IS NOT SUPPORTED. WTF??
Go into BIOS, enable legacy boot, prioritize legacy. Restart. Ok, it boots from disk.
Go to install 7 on the empty partition and it can't because its an unsupported partition format or some shit. Whatever, wipe everything. Ok, installing windows.
Windows installed, need drivers. Go download them with another computer and go to copy them over with USB disk. Windows doesn't detect it. THIS POS DOESN'T HAVE STANDARD USB DRIVERS?!?!?
Of course, the laptop didn't come with any driver software. I end up burning a fucking CD like its fucking 2001 so that I can get the goddamn wifi driver on it.
Ok, I have wifi. Go to Lenovo site, find driver page. Select all the drivers I want for the model/OS and click download. Lenovo site says "hey, use this driver update software." I'm like, hey asshole, why don't you just give me the drivers i asked for. But fine.
Driver update software downloads, I install it, nothing happens. I run it, it says it's already running. Still nothing. What the goddamn flipping fuck?
I go download the drivers individually. I try to install USB driver. It says my system is not supported. .............Try to install chipset driver, not supported. ............ I can install maybe half of the drivers and I still can't even use a fucking USB mouse. Gonna have to wait for windows update to find it sometime two days from now.
I hope everyone in charge of Lenovos fucking ass backwards pointless piece of useless fucking shit drivers gets raped to death with a serrated knife.22 -
– “It doesn’t work. I don’t know how to run this.”
– “Ok, did you install the Python interpreter?”
– “No, what’s that?”
– “You have to download it from www.python.org. Get the 2.7 version.”
– “Yeah, it’s ok. I’ll just use something else.”9 -
Boss: We need a new functionality to record company names for now.
Me: Ok. (This will be a quick one)
(few mins later)
Me: Ok, adding/editing/deleting company names.. done. I also added "date recorded" field, just in case we need it.
Boss: Ok, thanks.
(~20 mins later)
Boss: We also need a functionality for the users which has "this" permission to be able to "request" for a company registration. We need to add fields to record the contact person, email, phone, etc.. Once a "request" has been submitted, "this" person-in-charge has to get a notification on the dashboard. And the requesters, should get a notification that they have a pending request sent. Once the registration is done, the requester has to be notified.
Me: 👀6 -
Me: Hi Guys, theres no docs on our custom push notification / deeplinking implementation. I've tried to work backwards from a QA testing doc to add new links. Can someone tell me if this is all ok? It seems to behave a little weird.
Dev: Looks ok, but we've moved to the braze platform for sending notifications. You'll need to trigger braze notifications now. Test that it works ok with that <confluence-link>
*hour later*
Me: I've tried the debugging tool, both with my payload and one of the samples from the link. It displays on the phone, but tapping it doesn't trigger the deeplinking.
Dev: No it works, try one of these <screenshot of samples I used>
*hour later*
Me: Tried it again on the real device to make sure, as well as on develop and master. Not working with those samples or mine.
Dev: No it does. It comes in here in this library <github link to line of code>
Me: ... Nope, debugged it, it doesn't get passed the next 'if' check on the next line as its missing a key/value. The whole function does nothing.
Dev: Oh do you want to send a braze notification?
Me: ..... you told me I had too .... yes I guess.
Dev: ok for a braze notification it works different, send this <entirely different sample no where on the link>
Me: ...... but ..... this is only for braze notifications ..... why .... all the samples have deeplink url's .... but they don't ....... are you ..... FFS!!!!! !@#?!
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)1 -
I get a call: "Hey the site is down. Fix it!"
Worked on my workstation, not on my phone => DNS issue.
Local cache: "All OK"
ISP's DNS: "No record"
Google DNS: "Server error"
MXToolbox: "All OK"
CloudFlare DNS: "Domain? What domain?"
After a day of fucking around with configs and wanting to strangle the customer support guy, I just started pressing buttons, until suddenly, it worked. Turns out I'd accidentally enabled DNSSEC on a domain, that wasn't configured for it.
Lesson learned: There is no official DNS error code for "DNSSEC failed somewhere upstream". If you're lucky, you might get something useful out of the authoritative server, but apparently not on Mondays.8 -
> Manager: Why does service X behaves Y way? It should do Z instead.
> Me: *explains why*
> Manager: I don't understand this...
> Me: *explains it in more simple terms and shorter sentences*
> Manager: I'm still not sure I get it.
> Me: It is like this because of a third party provider and we can't change anything for the same reason. Also it is working like this for half a decade now.
> Manager: Ok, I get it. So please fix the service, it should do Z instead of Y.
> Me: *facepalm* Sorry, I can't. Ask (frontend guy), maybe he can help you.
> Frontend guy a bit later: ┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)8 -
Me and a junior coder are working on a project. However, he likes to think he's funny and say "Ok google" to stop me from using my phone.
He said "Ok google, search midget porn" when I was calling my mom so naturally I need to get back at him, so when he's in the rec room, I backed up all his code on my flash drive, and copied it to the clipboard, and removed all project files from his computer.
He came back while I was in the bathroom, and when I reentered the room and was balling his eyes out, that his project was gone. I said to him, don't ok google me again and I handed him the flash drive back. He has never done anything bad again.12 -
I applied for a backend job. Somehow i ended up doing frontend. Ok whatever the pay is alright and i dont mind doing js. But then i see the backend team doing absolute horseshit, stacking up overhead and not even fucking documenting the endpoints, i get mad.
And now our sysadmin left so there is no fucking server and i cant run locally because of 9trillion config files (remember the overhead part?) and the pm is nagging me to get the site done WHEN THERE IS NO FUCKING SERVER. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SET IT ALL UP AGAIN? THATS NOT MY FUCKING JOB YOU IMBECILE FUCKFACE.8 -
Me: I have been doing really similar tasks I'm going to spend some time making a template for it.
Supervisor: ok just don't spend to much time on it we have a lot to do.
Me: shouldn't take too long
1 hour later.
Supervisor : how's the work going.
Me: almost done with the template.
Supervisor: this is taking you way to long I need you to just get back to work.
Me: ok
He leaves and I continue work on the template.
30 mins later.
Show him the template.
Me: I cut my time on this specific task by 80%
Supervisor: good job glad I knew you should do it.
WTF YOU WERE TELLING ME NOT TO.5 -
Dev: Hey that internal audit you asked me to perform didn’t go so well
Manager: It has too! I’ll get in a lot of trouble if it doesn’t pass.
Dev: Ok well it’s a lot of work to get it to a passing state, we have to dedicate a lot of resources to fix all these findings.
Manager: We don’t have any spare resources, they are all working on new projects! Why did you have to find things??
Dev: ….It’s a lot of hard to miss stuff, like missing signatures on security clearance forms
Manager: Ok can’t you just say that everything is all good? They’ll probably not double check.
Dev: I’m not really comfortable with that…Look all of these findings are all just from one member of the team consistently not doing their job, can’t you just address that with him and I can make a note on the audit that issues were found but corrective action was made? That’s the whole point of audits.
Manager: You don’t get it, if anything is found on the audit I’ll look bad. We have to cover this up. Plus that’s a really good friend of mine! I can’t do that to him. Ok you know what? You are obviously not the right person for this task, I’ll get someone else to do it. Go back to your regular work, I’m never assigning you audits again.8 -
Ok, I get it, stickers are "cool". However, every time I see a laptop full of them I can't help but think three things.
1) Why on earth would your ruin a perfectly nice, clean, design.
2) I see the stickers and think "wow, (s)he must really be a fan of a lot of tech companies
3) I think your were one of those kids in school that glued stickers of skateboard apparel manufacturers to your backpack because it was the "cool" thing to do.
But mainly the ruined design thing bothers me. Just..... WHY!?!15 -
Boss: A client has reported that he can't add products to the cart he gets redirected to "empty cart page" on safari or edge not sure, can you check it out?
Me: Yes
later...
Me: It's working on safari and edge but not on IE, I get that exact same problem on IE.
Boss: ok don't mind about IE
Me (inside) I've lived long enough to hear that YEAH !!!
Goodbye my old friend IE hahaha :D4 -
Yay my stickers finally arrived! Thanks guys <3 @dfox @trogus
And it freaked out my mum. She called me all panicked like "you've got an international letter what did you do did you get scammed or something"
...
"Mum, those are stickers...I got for free"
"Ohhhh... ok then"
But shre was very worried there ^^'
19 -
That moment when you get an image from a designer and it is ok to use in the app first try. 🧐
Correct size, format, transparency, spacing, colors and everything.
I thought that day would never come.4 -
Ok... gotta get this off my chest...
I was tasked to train a junior developer recently. Manager says he's (skill) is rusty, but has potential.
I thought to myself... "Rusty? I can deal with that... how bad can it be?"
He ran into some issues while going through the training material, and asked me for help. It was a simple task of printing something to the screen...
After glancing at his code, I said you have to make it (variable) a string. He LITERALLY types s-t-r-i-n-g...
Me: 😵💫7 -
Hi
Aaand, I can't even post a rant with so little chars... Yet coworkers and customers find it ok to only write hi and wait for me to respond.. Just write what the fuck you want in one go so I can decide if I really need to jump, or I can get back to this later..32 -
Client: We are tired of having to go only to specific users to get things actioned, we need everyone to be given admin access so that we can get work done efficiently
Dev: Highly do not recommend that *outlines the likely consequences*.
Client: We don’t care, we DEMAND you do this. We’ll make sure everyone is careful.
Dev: Ok but I warned you. Please submit this request in writing.
Client: Ok, not sure why you would need that. I told you everything would be fine.
*Not even two days later*
Client: HELP!!! OUR DATA IS NOW COMPLETELY MESSED UP. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED THIS IT’S AS IF EVERYONE IS RANDOMLY DOING WHATEVER THEY WANT HOWEVER THEY WANT IN ORDER TO SUITE THEIR OWN NEEDS. IT MAKES NO SENSE HOW THIS HAS OCCURRED. I TOLD EVERYONE SPECIFICALLY TO NOT CAUSE ISSUES!!! WE NEED THIS FIXED A.S.A.P!!!!!!
Dev: …6 -
The worst tech day if my life... In terms of broken things.
I went to London... For a meeting with a new client.
I missed the train being me I made sure I got the early one so I could get another if I missed it...
1st tech fail, the machine didn't print off my tickets just the receipt which is why I was late
Got to London thought I'd try uber I didn't want to be late...
25 minutes till destination ... Ok
2nd tech fail... Was 45 minutes 😔
Now I'm 10 minutes late!
So I rush out of the uber to try and get to the meeting ....
3rd tech fail 😔 I drop my laptop ... Screen was ok I got lucky .
Went to meeting it was in a coffee shop ! I was alone meeting 5 people in this charity.
This company didn't occur to them I'd need internet to show them websites 😐
4th tech fail no internet
Needless to say I didn't get the job. Sad because I would of done a good job . At least I got to chill in London. For a few hours.
They put me on a hot seat as such all asking me questions
I was 19 terrified stressed. And it's only been a year... I'm doing the same tomorrow!
Fingers crossed7 -
Manager: We will be building a new app. THIS TIME EVERYTHING MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, ANYTHING LESS THAN TOP QUALITY WORK WILL BE REJECTED!!
*Not even 2 days into the new project*
Manager: Ok that’s good enough, we can fix it later. Can you go quicker on the next feature? Just sacrifice a bit of quality so we get these tickets closed as fast as possible. I said we can fix it later. Getting tickets closed asap is top priority.
Dev: …3 -
Fuck off you disturbed snowflakes with your SJW bullshit.
I get it, words cause damage, but words taken out of context for emotional self pity is on you.
Ok I expressed my feelings on the matter, see you next year for the next round!12 -
What's the difference between a wasp and single loose hair?
Apparently none till the wasp stings :/
Yesterday I thought I had a loose hair on my neck.. ok, I shrug it off.. later again the creepy feeling.. shrugs off..
I continue to work, sumberged in code, wanting to find the fucker (bug, not the wasp/hair).. lean in to the monitor... 10 cents away from the screen... Ok, maybe that's it! Feels the hair on my back, near shoulderblades again... shrugging again more violently to get it further down to fall out.. nothing.. ok, got the bug, threw myslef back in the chair with substential force & BAAAAM!!! Motherfucking hair bit me!! O.o
I scream in horror & on top of the lungs (it was late, after work hours so I didn't expect anyone else still at the office) PROKLETA PRASICA (roughly translated to goddamn female swine).. I previously saw some green bug flying around the office and I thought that nasty thing bit me (didn't know they bite soo, much more horror for me).. O.o
Anyhow, I jump up from the computer and see my coworker looking at me all baffled.. I proceed to franticly take of my headphones and hoodie..thinking about wtf should I do now, I cannot get undressed in front of him (not for my sake, bra is the same as top of the bathing suit for me, but still..I don't want anyone suing me for impropper behaviour of undreasing in front of coworkers..), how the fuck should I get to the toilet?! O.o
C: Are you ok?!
M: Um.. sth bit me..wtf?!
C: There was a wasp flying around somewhere some time ago.. are you alergic?!
M: um..not sure, I don't think so..we'll see soon..
I proceed to the WC, to take off tshirt & check/kill off the fucker.. on my way there (walking funny to not press the hair to my body again) I got another surprise, another coworker was working late..
C2: Are you ok?! O.o
M: yeah, sth bit me, probably a wasp..
Ok, finally on the loo..ok, do not lock self in in case it escapes and you need help.. don't even shut the door. Check.. standing between the doors I contemplate on how the fuck should I take my tshirt off without angering the fucker even more and getting bitten again.. O.O
I lifted the tshirt up my back to let it out.. nope, not there..the creepy felling of buzzing around between my shoulder blades continues.. crap.. what to do?!
I stood there & contemplated the task.. ok, roll up the tshirt to the shoulder blades, not against the body (duh) to prevent further stings..tighten the fabric, so it cannot escape, quickly remove the band from the body.. done..reversed the tshirt and straightened it.. bzzz... Fucker fell somewhere.. Dafaq?! Was it really just a wasp?! If yes, no problem...but what if coworker was wrong and I got bitten by that nasty green whateveritsname bug?! Eeeeewwww! Is it poisonous? Gotta find it & kill it for good.. waited a bit, than saw a goddamn wasp crawl from under the toilet.. wasp!! Yess!! Stopm stomp fucker!!
I get dressed & go back to my desk..
C: Did you terminate it?!
M: Yup, fucker went on a toilet paper trip down the drain!!
I sit down, starting to get my headphones back on and proceed to work.., but before I could, one last gem:
C: CTO would say, thank god it didn't sting you in your finger cuz you wouldn't be able to type anymore..
M: O.O so true hahhahahaaa
Disclaimer - I like animals, but I freakking hate wasps..especially if they get under my tshirt to sting.. :/7 -
6 months ago:
Boss: We have this idea to improve our onboarding to avoid drop off in the new app. See this section here? Were going to take that out of the onboarding and just let them pass straight through to the app. Then when they get into the app, there will be a banner telling them they should go to settings and set this up. That way they can ignore it for a while and get into the app sooner
Me: Get into the app sooner to do what?
Boss: Explore it
Me: Explore an empty app with no content, as they are a brand new user with nothing setup? While theres a big banner on the screen saying "You have insecure settings" ... basically forcing them to do it straight away anyway?
Boss: Yeah, we can give them some recommendations or something while they click around. It will be good. This is months away anyway, we'll talk again
Yesterday:
Boss: So this weird unexpected thing happened. We showed some beta users our plans to remove this section from onboarding and they felt weird about it. They said they didn't like the idea of the banner telling them they haven't set it up correctly
Me: Thats not weird, I said the same thing 6 months ago
Boss: ......... oh, really?
Me: Yep. Its not an improvement to get them through onboarding quicker, just to tell them they have to now go do it somewhere else
Boss: ... right. Ok maybe we'll build it anyway and see how they feel with it in there hands?
Me: nope
Boss: ... what do you mean?
Me: We are behind, you've asked me 3 times in the last week if we are going to be able to get everything in on time ... and now you want me to build something that everyone, apart from you, says they don't like. So realistically, i'm going to build it, and then remove it next week ... and we'll have a discussion about what has to be dropped because of this
Boss: ........ right .... ok .... hhhmmm
Me: *sits with resting bitch face*
Boss: ... maybe we can hide the banner until later. Not show it to them until they've done something in the app?
Me: ... maybe we can not do any of this?
Boss: right but then the onboarding will ...
Me: *talks louder* ... yes will be the way our users want it to be
Boss: ... hhmm i'm not sure
Me: Ok heres what we'll do, so long as it doesn't delay me getting the designs I need, feel free to have the designer mock up what it would look like using that figma on device preview thing. If users say they like it, i'll build it
Boss: ... right but it won't be real on device app so ...
Me: Its that or we cut feature X
Boss: ... well we need that
Me: ok glad we agree, let me know what feedback the designer gets
Boss: ... ok10 -
I just had my very first salary negotiation in my entire life and now I just want to hide under my bed.
Why is it so damn painful!?
It’s not like I’m asking for sacks of money, but I also have to think about what allows me to have a place to live & what valuable skills I offer
Both parties should get an acceptable outcome right!?
Like there’s no insurance, no benefits.
Having this conversation so soon may have been a mistake. Fuck
I hate this feeling!
Ok wake me up in January24 -
I reversed engineered the network protocol for a game.
I uploaded the source code to GitHub and made a post on UC Forums.
I kept getting bombarded with messages from the same person, it went something like this:
Him: "I can't get this hack to work, pls send finish hack, thanks"
Me: "First of all this is not a complete hack. You actually need to know how to code to use this library."
Guy: "Ok, can u help me make hack for game?"
To keep this short, I basically told him:
"No. Look through the code, learn it, use what you learned."
Couple of hours later he replied:
"Ok. I look through code but don't know how work. Send me code pls."
From the kindness of my heart I made a extremely simplified wrapper for the already simple code and sent him the project files.
He replies with: "Thank for hack, I not able make it work. I build I try inject game but no work. How to run dll file."
At that point I gave up...3 -
So I'm going to get married next june. I made an app for the guests where they have all information available, can send music wishes and can share images of the wedding with other guests.
Here is my story on publishing it in the App Store:
Me: "Hey Apple, I made a small app for my wedding. Mind putting it in your store?"
Apple: "Yeah, whatever" *publishes it*
One month later:
Me: "I made really small changes, please take this update."
Apple: "Ha no, its not interessting for enough people." *rejects it*
I panic, because the app is mentiont in the invites to the wedding which are already printed.
So one day later:
Me: "Ok ok, I added a button in the intro where people can send me a mail if they are interested in using the same app for their wedding."
Apple: "That changes everything! We will accept the update."
I'm happy, that they accepted it in the end, but really?!? There are so many shit apps in the store, why do you reject any not-fart app, because it is not interesting enough??? And why the fuck do you accept it in the first place?15 -
ok im seriously feeling evil.
windows users listen up:
is there any way i can make it so that when you press the semicolon button, the greek question mark comes up?
preferable an easy setting.
as you can tell, i really want to get this guy.13 -
Senior manager: I cant understand how this project has taken so long?
Me: Well you hired me as a C# WPF developer and then asked me to deliver an android app without any kind of training so i had to teach myself app development and reverse engineer the undocumented protocol it needs to use to communicate with our product.
Senior manager: Ok. I get that, but it should only take around 3 months to get up to speed though right?
Me (to myself): how in the hell? New platform, self teaching, undocumented protocol for a complex low level real-time system, other responsibilities taking at least 50% of my time and i should be as productive as an outsourced app dev company in 3 months???!! FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!3 -
Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh
Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows
(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.
... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.
Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...
Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward
I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible
An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way
It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux65 -
Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*
I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...7 -
fuuuck, I overslept today, and I have to introduce a new team nember today and I will be too late in office because of that.
OK so i take a shower, and brush my teeth and get my clothes on in under 5 minutes (which is actually very fast for me), run for my train, just made it into it, get to the next station where I have to switch trains, and then it hits me again: 8 minutes delay, OK that made it even more bad than it was vefore, because I will miss my train on the next station where I again have to switch.
I will now end up 45 minutes too late in the office, only because I overslept. I hate me5 -
Working with clients Across the globe.
12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.
3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.2 -
Most horrible part of my life:
Boss: Hey J make an android app where people can access my website.
J: Why not just use the browser on your phone?
Boss: Because I said so.
J: Ok, you want me to make an android app for your website whilst editing photos and videos for you? Can't you get someone else to do it?
Boss: Just get it done.10 -
I really hate it when online sources aimed at educating people looking to get into programming attack specific languages. I'm ok with them recommending some good starting languages (ex. JavaScript, Python, etc.) but I find it extremely inappropriate and damaging when they list languages they consider "bad." Languages like JavaScript, PHP and Java constantly get called out even though they power a huge chunk of the web and services hundreds of millions of people use every day. IMO it's a huge disservice to tell beginners not to even look at these languages. We should be teaching the language isn't really what's important - it's what you build with it.5
-
Yep. So the dev teams boss says it's fine to run a production environment on a single Windows instance with the db on that same instance, which they already totally lost once from a reboot after an auto update before I came along tasked with fixing the cluster fuck they created.
This from a man who somehow runs a dev team while using gmail via the web because he can't use an email client, uses email to track tasks but can't because they get lost amongst his 3000+ unread emails, has a screen dirtier than a hookers vag on half priced Tuesday, and got a new laptop but had to get his daughter to set it up and transfer his data because he couldn't.
But ok... you have a degree, You must know what you're doing.
It's ok though, I'll keep covering your incompetent ass while you keep raping the company because no one listens.
Peoples ignorance and arrogance astounds me.4 -
At a festival where I was with my GF from back then, I asked her whether it was OK if I drank some more, which she was fine with, but she didn't get the implication.
Later in the tent, when I was totally drunken, she turned me around and wanted some action. The sudden movement didn't go well, I was just able to open the tent, vomited out of the tent, and turned around to continue sleeping.6 -
Finally I could get the correct computer :)
Just missing the raised arm for the screens instead of desk stands
(ok,my real desk is not transparent but it was to cool to not take ;) )
2 -
Live chat with Verizon support online
Wait in line for 30mins finally get an agent
But then she doesn't respond
I take a angry screen shot of the chat and send it to Verizon's Twitter
Get a quick response and the agent replies.
---
Then...
Me: I want renew/upgrade my services at the discount price
Agent: not possible. Contact regular support number to discuss
Me: what if I cancel and sign up again
Her: OK here's the direct number to our retention hotline7 -
Ok wtf? How is it that I can give myself admin access to almost any Apple computer just by turning it on, holding down two keys, and then removing one file called “.AppleSetupDone”, without any kind of authentication? And I get access to all of the data on the device too. Within two minutes of having physical access to the computer.
This is a company with millions of devices in use, why is this even possible? And the only way to prevent it is to have a firmware password, which, by the way, is not a default option...are you serious9 -
Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok1 -
John: You know, I don't appreciate it when I run the application and it crashes on me. Especially when you say it's working. If you say you've debugged it and got it working, I shouldn't be able to break it in the first 2 minutes.
--------------------------
me: You know John, with all due respect, there are two ways that this can go. Either we can actually work on this project as a team and get something done, or I can leave and have you flounder on your own trying to complete the rest of this project for the next 4 months. Now, I know that you don't have a lot of experience in this framework, so that means you owe me the respect I deserve and not complain about the way things are getting done.
--------------------------
Me: Ok, John, I'll fix it.1 -
!rant
Me: sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope. There is a problem with a package.
Me: Ugh... ok I'll fix it. *20 minutes later* Fixed. Sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope, the package cache file is corrupted.
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF LINUX OMFG.
Oh, I fixed it.
I LOVE YOU LINUX.11 -
One of the biggest things that grinds me gears is when I'm tutoring CS at my school as a student tutor is that I get those students who obviously aren't studying or even trying, in fact hoping their tutor will tell them exactly what to type to get that A in the class.
Me: "OK so here's the idea of..." *explains the idea on what they need to accomplish in a more simplistic, visual idea*
Student': *blank stares*
Me: *Blank stares back, thinking of how to make it simpler...*
I then explain I in even more layman terms till they get through their head I'm not going to tell them what to do. I'll guide, but I won't tell what to do.
Please don't waste my time, or I'll waste your time explaing the very fundamental basics of how a variable works instead of helping with your homework.3 -
So we started looking into docker. As always I needed to do the research and I was fine with it.
We have 4 projects that are sold into one suite so logically I follow the microservices build structure.
3 months later after everything has been set up, we get called into a meeting. The whole suite should be a monolith as microservices doesn't make sense to the people planning everything.
Ok pulled my current plans out abd made everything a monolith. Just note I also get pulled away to other Business Units to do work for them.
Get pulled into another meeting 2 months later. Why isn't the docker containers in microservices!? It is stupid running as a monolith and we should've done our jobs better etc...
After the meeting my manager and I just sighed and walked to the office. So basically 5 months doing the the exact same thing we did in 3 weeks.
Now they want to develop other services and want to strip every method into a microservice and bundle it together.
Life of a DevOps engineer right!1 -
My progression of learning git rebase:
Year 1: WTF just happened?! Where is my code?! *deletes and re-clones repo*
Year 2: Ok if I do it suuuper carefully I can get the other dev's one-line change into my branch...shit...shit...wait...fuck...oh lol it worked.
Year 3: Oh yeah let me organize my commits real quick. *drop pick pick squash reword pick fixup drop pick* *git push -f* 😎7 -
New dev: I need help with this issue. I've been debugging it all day.
*2 hours later*
Me: spent a while debugging it, eventually came across a stack overflow post that says you can't do that.
New dev: oh I saw that earlier, didn't think it applied.
Me: ... why ... accepted answer "It is not possible to do this, this way".
New dev: hhhmm, ok
... get the fuck out of this building immediately.3 -
> starts coding at a young age
> makes it my whole personality
> goes through a rough year of quarantine, graduates high school, changes changes changes
* no. coding for a super extended period of time*
now I'm slowly trying to get back into it consistently. miss you besties lol hope yall are doing ok I'm back and I'm better and also older. I think the last time I was consistently on here I was 17 lmao
I work at another bank now. I finished my first year of engineering at my uni. Ontario is slowly opening up. I'm doing better :)3 -
Introduced a ‘new’ logging framework for our web site. Web team is testing the integration and I get an email saying the logging wasn’t working. Instead of sending me how she is searching the logs, she sends me a screen shot of the code (which is ass-backwards of how I documented the logging library, but that’s another rant). OK, she wrote 5 lines of code that should be one line, but OK, the error still should have logged fine. I search the logs, and sure enough, there they are. Errors logged just as they should.
So I email back (with screenshot of the search query and results) asking how she searched for the errors.
Hour later she responds ..”I don’t know.”
That’s it.
WTF do you mean “I don’t know”?…WTF…you are a –bleep-ing developer too! This is not the first –bleep-ing splunk query you’ve written!
OK..I’m calm..feeling better. Wouldn’t be so bad if she emailed just me with the question (I’m not a splunk query expert either, we can figure it out together), but she was sure to cc 3 of the PMs involved in the integration, my boss, and other team members to make it sound like the problem was my code.3 -
Can we clear this once and for all... Explain java and JavaScript like this...
They are like apple and pineapple...
In a recipe you wouldn't go yeah I could substitute in the other ... Because they are entirely different things ... Similar names... Entirely different !
We get it... They are different fucktards don't ... We get it... Ok....12 -
After zero contact for approx 4-5 years I get an Instagram message:
Old work buddy: Hello, I have a website question for you
Me: Ok
OWB: Hope you’re well, btw
Me: *hmmmmm*
OWB: basically blah blah blah can’t get this part of this Wordpress theme to work
Me: I’ll have a quick look. Oh btw I have big news...
OWB: You up the duff?
Me: Yep!
OWB: Congrats...do you think you can help with the website?
Me: Probably not at the moment and it looks like a pig of a job to make the theme work properly.
OWB: *silence*17 -
Guy: "We need you to update a few applications so we can get some new data. We have very important reports we need out of it!"
Me: "OK how soon do you need it?"
Guy: "Two days!! So we can start putting in the data then will have you create the reports."
...two days later...(in the spongebob narrator voice)
Me: " OK its done. Go in add the data you need then let me know so I can generate the reports."
....4 weeks later...still haven't heard from them and they haven't put in the data. Glad it was soooo important that I had to drop everything else to put in the updates that haven't been used. -
Boss came in with new project:
boss shows me the design
me: it's a wordpress website ?
boss: client wants it with prestashop
me: but the brief is for an ecommerce website with 2 categories and a blog, wordpress with woocommerce and a blog should be enought
boss: no, client wants it with prestashop
oh I forgot, client wants it in a shared hosting server, where I can't add php extensions
started the project, fucked my weekend with anxiety and depression, and then products list came in ... 15 product
me: ok, I need to get the fuck out quick
I quit, I sleep at night, I smile with my kids ...2 -
I really want to.
I want to get away from Windows.
But I have yet to find a distro that works.
Today I tried again again.
I found out Linux Mint released version 19.
Snapshots integrated. Cool. I will try it.
Installed with Cinnamon. Looks nice. Everything is running fast.
Aaaaand I hate the mouse movement...
Why is there no 1:1 movement? Is acceleration on? Does not feel like it.
Ok. We can fix this right?
Opened the Mouse settings.
There is no way of deactivating mouse acceleration. Only customizing the amount of acceleration. What?
Ok customize it. No change at all.
Try extreme settings. Nothing.
Google for a solution. Says I should install dconf-editor and change settings there.
Install it, change the settings. Hey it works!
It is far from perfect but I can live with that.
Now the scroll wheel is so slow...
But there is no setting at all? Not even in dconf-editor.
Google the solution. Need to install imwheel and configure it. Really?
Okay will do. I wanna use this.
Finally. Mouse works as it should.
After all that, why is my lap so hot? Fucking hell the cpu seems to be burning.
Fuck that!
I am out! Back to Windows!24 -
Me - Yeah great so you say it's big data we are gonna be analyzing and having to store, are you currently utilizing a service and aggregating any of it into smaller manageable segments?
Client - well yeah it's lots and lots of data, we can share it with you if you sign a nda.
Me - ok... sure, how are you gonna share it with me.
Client - oh I can email you the spreadsheet.
Me - .... Spreadsheet ... Um... Ok... 'Stands up and walks away to tell this as the most interesting meeting of the month, to some one that will get it'
--
Buzz word for the win!9 -
Gas station clerk: "with our phone app you can get a discount for fuel and car washes!"
Me: OK, I'll definitely try it out next time!
Me: *drive home*
Me: *download and install the app*
1_week_later.jpg
Phone: Out of storage!
Phone: Battery draining faster!
Phone: Gas station app uses 200-300MB and is running in the background
Me: *uninstalls the gas station app*
Never ever again.
Why would a simple thing like that
1. run in the background
2. use this amount of storage
??? I can't get my head around it. Seriously... 2-3 activities with nothing but text in them. 200 MB??!!?? Are you using fucking pictures of letters for the text, or what? a.jpg, b.gif, c.avi ???7 -
Life is hard.
You are born. DNA gets determined. You go through infancy.
Puberty comes and DNA is like
"uh from now you'll pretty much have strong sexual urges, a huge desire to be sexually prolific, nothing weird like being pedo or into rape though".
me: Uh ok.
dna: oh, also, you're gonna be one of those late bloomers, you know, you talk like shit, you dress like shit, you smell like shit.
life: that's true and also you don't have anyone in your life to teach you about that shit, so forget about kissing, having sex, let alone being in a relationship for a long time.
*a lot of years go by with a lot of missed opportunities, mistakes and regrets*
life: ok, you seem to have become a decent sex partner out of a lot of scarring experiences, but there's one problem: you've fallen in love with somebody.
and you're married
and you have kids
me: well, does that mean I can't fuck other people?
life: yeah, no. I'm surprised I even have to explain that, it's called cheating. It will pretty much ruin your marriage, and fuck up your kids.
me: ok, I guess no then. I'm still fortunate enough to have sex with my wife right?
life: yeah... but you still want to fuck other people
me: what???
life: yeah, did you think that falling in love would make you not want to fuck other people? fuck no
me: ok, well I'm very grateful that I get to experience sex at all.
life: yes... there's a thing though, your partner has a much much lower libido than you.
me: ok, well maybe if I exercise and dress better that might change
life: that will definitely help, you'll feel more confident and have more stamina, but every time you retry exercising, you remember how much you hate it and how little stamina you have.
oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you had kids and work, yeah no time or energy for that.
me: ok, then should I just embrace a more liberal lifestyle, like becoming a swinger?
life: ha, fat chance, it's a very taboo thing and you're not that liberal, neither is she.
me: uhhh, i guess i can sometimes watch porn then...
life: watching porn regularly will make the only sex that you have worse, according to statistics.
me: ok, I guess I should get ripped18 -
OK, so I was making this website for a university event. After publishing it, I start getting calls that the registration form isn't working. So I review the code and fix the problem. But when I push it to production, the problem still persists, all this while the event management is breathing down my neck because they can't get any registration! kept on trying for the whole fucking day, switched off my phone and went to sleep! The next morning, I find out, I had been pushing the old version of the file! Yes! I felt incompetent and stupid!2
-
So I finally graduated and got a job with a startup. I had to move to a different province to join it.
Hmm, ok sure. I spent a month planning and buying stuff, rented an apartment etc.
All set right? Plot twist.....
Just about 15 hours before moving there, I get a call that investors backed off from investment and my position was cancelled.
Wtf? Did it just happen? I even rejected a big company offer for this and I am unemployed still!!! Can't believe what can happen sometimes....7 -
Dev: Hey I need something from Team B
Manager: Ok I’ll get it from them now
Dev: Unfortunately they have the current time blocked off as uninterrupted coding time for the next two hours.
Manager: Yeah that means they’re not occupied by anybody else. It’s the best time to get a hold of them!
Dev: …4 -
WTF, Google?! Get your shit together!! No one wants another GUI disaster makeover which leads us from bad to worse.
Every time I log into g+ or gmail, the whole flippin GUI has changed.. OK, it might be just my taste for simplicity, but I do not think a 'better GUI' should make you feel like an ape trying to code.. :\
If people with programming skills can't use it 'out of the box' & without googling stuff like "where did you hid the new email button", how the f do other people who are IT inept supposed to use it!? OR is it just me?! If it's just me, I'll shut up and love the new GUI.. otherwise: juck!!
#itSucksToBeOnTheOtherSideOfTheCode :\9 -
Ok I give up. I concede. I can't take one more second of trying to get ANY window manager to run under Arch with an Nvidia GPU.
Back to Debian it is...18 -
At work the other day...
Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."
Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"
Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."
Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."
Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."
That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.4 -
I watched this video today about the new Xbox adaptive controllers. I had heard about it before, but never knew how capable or functional it actually was.
And watching that video made me realise exactly how much the tech we build , and support helps many people live the lives they wanted.
All the rants about languages , editors , frameworks aside , things like this were built with an idea and an inclusive intension to help. And that's exactly what we all are here for :)
do check the video out it made my day and I'm sure it will make yours too ..
https://youtu.be/MHOYQQTvQu4
Ok now let's get our pitchforks back and go hunt some vim users down.
Bye
1 -
Me and my manager throughout 2020
January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.
February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️
March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...
April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!
May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool
June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing
July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m
August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me
September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work
Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar
October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?4 -
I had to make an account for my kid's school.
Last night I start. I put in a username, then it has a quality meter for the password. I put one in and it goes to like 90%. Ok, fine. I submit and...
Validation error on the username field. Message? [object Object].
Try all different kinds of username: no numbers, all caps, etc. But no luck so I give up.
Today I try again and get stuck again. Then I think... "Maybe the devs suck worse than I think..."
I change the password so that it's rated 100% and submit... Success.
Fucking devs.3 -
Other Dev: I worked really hard over the weekend to get the issue fixed, I raised a PR but it has a zillion merge conflicts. Would you mind taking a look at it?
Me: Ok. *Changes base branch away from Master.*
Other Dev: Whoa! How’d you fix them that so fast???
Me: Experience.1 -
CEO: What are your plans for these hollidays?
Me: Clean up the house. I haven't had much time because we've had some busy last few months.
CEO: Seriously? Are you joking? (I could see in his eyes, "why would a talented programmer ever waste their time doing menial housework...") I mean, you could be working instead and earning a couple more bucks...
(Fuck him, none of his business...)
Me: I can't delay it this time. My wife has dust allergies.
CEO: Oh. Ok. I get it. When I was a kid, my father and I had some serious dust allergies. The house maid had to clean everything thoroughly at least once a week.
Not surprised...10 -
Ok then!
Time to install Arch Linux on my MacBook Pro...
Coz why not... I wanna try it and see how it runs on this machine 😌😌
Plus... Customization ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I think I can get back to Mac OS right? Just need the USB of Mac? 🤔28 -
I don't get people..
He is a good person and and realy tries..
Tries what?! To annoy coworkers that have to fix every single thing he does?!
Some people will justify anything with 'he is a nice person and tries hard'. WTF?!
So if someone is a nice person, likes to talk a lot, has 'good' social skills but writes crappy code he doesn't test at all.. or tests and see that it's glitchy and still doesn't fix it.. so he is a good worker for that?! Dafaq?!
So if he is a 'lovable' person, he deserves to be here, doing more damage than helps.. he deserves to have a job, with same pay (or even more) than me?! WTF?! How?!
Why is this ok?! If we were heart surgeons and he killed a person or two due to lack of skills or negligence, what would happen?!
He'd get fired on spot!! Why can't it be the same with devs?!
Why on fucking earth do we need to put up with people who try their best and fail?! Especially if their best is lowest of all, lower than the 'I don't give a fuck, just doing sth so the boss stops nagging'?!
Fuuuuuuuu!!!!
But ok, some people are not cut out for some work, I get it.. but why the fuck do other people justify that with 'he tries'?! Dafaq?!
Maybe next time 'I'll try' to perfom brain surgery on you..and you'll end up a fuckin plant.. is that ok with you?! I'll be trying (not really) and do my best (well I will try not to use a chainsaw when cutting open your head).. will that be ok with you?!
Fuck!!5 -
Yesterday
Boss: Can you export the foo data and send it to me?
Me: Sure
Me (later): Ok, just shared foo.csv with you. It should have everything you need, just let me know if you need the bar data.
Boss: OK, thanks.
Today
Boss: Did you get the foo data exported?
Me: Yes, I shared that with you yesterday
Boss: What did you name it?
This is all in a chat, by the way, not in person. Scrolling for 1.5 seconds reveals all the relevant information.
How do I respond in a way that is not sarcastic and does not belittle my boss? I'm not sure it's even possible.2 -
TL;DR: shitty day, but stickers made my day
First off, I'd like to thank @dfox and @trogus for the stickers.
I had a really shitty day, It started off something like this. Usual day at University, faculty not teaching anything. Messed up shit with the girl I like very much, still not talking at this point. Pretty much downhill. Start teaching myself some Android, while this junior comes up me to be like 'please teach me this', ok sure. He fucking leaves the moment I start installing homebrew on his mac and says "you exploiting my mac", NO FUCKER I NEED A PACKAGE MANAGER TO GET PACKAGES YOU DUMB FUCK. Further, that day, come to know its half day and not going to learn shit. WTF! But still, I get attendance so it's good. I suggest going to this new cool place to grab lunch. the girl I like goes like this "Let's GO TO JAILLLLLLLLL, IT'S COOL PLACE TO HANGOUTTTTT" , LIKE. WHY THE FUCK YOU WANT TO HANG OUT AT A PLACE WHICH LITERALLY IS NAMED 'JAIL'. Fuck it, let's go. SO. FUCKING. NEGATIVE. PLACE. Food is ok, not good, ok. I'm fucked up and sad at this point because love of my life is hanging out with other people, I'm ended up in the shit corner of the world, with shit food. AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANY THING PRODUCTIVE.
But in the end of the day, I reach home. open gates see this parcel and I'M HAPPY AS FUCK. IT'S FUCKING STICKERS, OMG.
Seeing those stickers I realized I don't need to be sad anymore. Writing this post just to thank this amazing community and the members in it. I love you guys all, :) <3
3 -
TL;DR;
Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...
Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:
Boss: is there any problem with the server?
Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.
Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?
Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.
Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?
Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...
Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.
Boss: OK. Thanks
TL;DR;
Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...12 -
So my teacher wanted to play a movie cos the class got good test results, and so she asked me how to play a movie on her laptop and get it on the TV and this is how it went down...
Teacher: Sukhi, do you think you could help me.
Me: Yea sure, what do you need help with
Teacher: So I want to play a movie tomorrow but I don't know how to get it up on the TV
Me: Oh its easy just get a HDMI cable and plug your laptop into it.
Teacher: Oh yea I have like 6 of those. Ok then see ya tomorrow.
*The next day*
Teacher: Hey Sukhi, heres the HDMI cable. *Pulls out a AUX cord*
Me: *laughing and crying at the same time*2 -
Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...
After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...
So the following talk happened:
Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)
Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.
Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...
Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE! -
OK I've just got an idea that I think would be quite neat:
How about a virtual rubber duck that sits in the corner of your editor? Just like the gem in old Word, if you remember. It's yellow and quacks sometimes, and nods understandingly when you talk to it (mic monitoring).
And it also monitors your typing and says (popup text bubble) things like:
"those parentheses doesn't look balanced to me"
"did you really initialize that variable?"
"you wrote JASON again"
"you forgot the ;"
You get the point.
I don't have time to implement, feel free to steal my idea and become a millionaire.5 -
Does anyone else get intensely frustrated and stressed trying to explain something to someone who repeatedly fails to understand?
"ok so you click decrypt password and then you give it your private key"
"ok I clicked on download rdp file"
"no you want decrypt password"
"and then it will download a file"
"no you need to give it a file"
"which file?"
"THE FUCKING FILE IT SAYS RIGHT THERE STEVE"
Keep in mind this is the fifth time I've walked him through this12 -
Ok, so I basically spent my weekend trying to work out why the fuck my python docker container would not connect to my mariadb docker container. Tried fucking everything, bridged network, host network, links (even though theyre deprecated), you name it. It would NOT WORK!
In my despair I finally turned to StackOverflow. There I was told 5min after posting the question that the reason was probably that mysql is a quite heavy service, which takes a bit to start up.
I thought to myself "Oh, get the fuck outta here, that can't be it, shit's way too easy to work!"
I tried it nevertheless by adding a 10sec delay before querying the database AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS!! So, I essentially just lost a weekend because I was too impatient... I think I'm gonna punch some trees now.4 -
Why do some people have to be so self-centered?
They asked for my help with a logo. I said I will help even without any charges. I know they don't want to spend money. And that's why I frankly said I can help free. But then they said they will feel bad then and ask for my quotation. Ok, I sent.
They said "Sorry it is too high, can you give 60% discount?" Ok, sure.
Then they asked if they can get it in 4 days. Ok, I said.
Then they said they changed the name just now.
At least give me a fucking ounce of respect.2 -
I just got a phone call from "Microsoft" because there are Trojans on my pc. The broken English (and the content of the call) told me that it was scam, but I wanted to have my fun, so I continued the call.
After I told them that I am on my Computer, I was forwarded to an "expert", and now the funny part starts 😁
Scammer: you have your keyboard in front of you??
Me: yes
S: you see the strg, control ctrl button on the bottom left
M: yes *rly?*
S: what button. Is next to it?
M: fn
S: ...
M: ... *XD*
S: and next to it?
M: that's the windows button
S: ok, press that button along with 'r'
M: ok
S: what do you see?
M: *telling him what I see on my GERMAN pc*
S: ok, type 'eventvwr' *spelling it like hell*
I did so. Just while this spelling I could have hit my head on the desk... It was hilarious
He navigates me to the error and warnings and tells me that those are Trojans 😂 and that this is the reason some programs (especially my antivirus software) aren't running properly.
Well I told him that those aren't Trojans and that all my programs are running properly. I don't know if that was the reason, he stopped the call, but I wasn't able to connect to their 'headserver'.
In the end I am sad that I wasn't able to f*ck him up more. Maybe I would have been able to get some more information about their company to kick their *****.
Next time I will be (more) prepared7 -
Made an Android app a while ago. I needed some pet project so I decided to go with Java for Android. First time, no experience at all.
So everything went ok, I had a little help from a colleague, structuring code, and pushing to the store. Work done app was doing ok.
A year later I came back to this project. I needed to fix a bug - date time and daylight savings crap. 😥
Spent a week on it. Ready to push a new version to the store, with some extra features! Build apk. All good.
Wait. I need to sign the APK? Wtf. I had to format my hard drive. How do I recover my fucking certificate?
*Google's for a while*
No fucking way. I can't restore the certificate. Or get the keystore back. The solution is to create a new app with a brand new package name?
Thanks for nothing, I'm done with Android development.9 -
When I started programming ~5 years ago.
Teacher: OK, C++ classes and structs have 3 access modifiers: private, public and protected.
Private fields can't be accessed out of the current class.
Me thinking: wow, that's cool, but how can it be? I have to research.
I went to home and wrote a class with one variable with its set and get functionality.
Then I opened Cheat engine) and tried to access and change the variable. When I succeeded, I started hating this world of programming.
After some time I understood that it's wonderful cause it's up to you.5 -
porra; caralho; toma no cu.
this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.
srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me
first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.
cleaned 35 gbs.
finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.
ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.
tried downloading the updated Android version.
it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!
Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.
unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.
I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML
Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.
I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.
did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.
I'm fucking losing my mind here.
In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK MICROSOFT
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...15 -
Built a C#/.NET application with support for a serial device. Tested it on systems A, B, C initially, all Windows system, same .NET version, same targeting, same build tool version, same initial connection configuration etc, etc.
Testing - works on A and C, B nopes.
...
OK, let's check the source, is there something about B that makes it impossible to execute that bit? - No, there is not, you checked that already, stop poking around, it definitively should work on B.
...
OK, maybe admin privileges, there is I/O involved, didn't need that on A and C, but who knows - nope, doesn't work on B.
...
OK, maybe something wrong with the connection settings? First try at reinstalling driver - but no, it doesn't work on B.
...
OK let's try with another device - more/less devices on B. Other USB ports. No. Still does not work on B.
...
OK, this is stupid, but, is the cabling alright? It is, of course it is, stupid - but it still does not work on B.
...
OK, at that point I'm just gonna ask a colleague, GrumpySoftwareDev whether he has any clue why it doesn't work on B. GrumpySoftwareDev knows nothing, but discovers that one of his applications doesn't work on Windows 10. You know nothing, Jon Snow, but it doesn't work on B.
...
OK, now I'm just going to ask another colleague TheLastOfHisKind who handed B down to me somewhat bluntly if he ever experienced problems when working with B and its serial configuration. TheLastOfHisKind tells me he does not and kindly offers me some input on the situation. Still no progress to get it working on B but he hinted he might have fucked up B's driver. I already reinstalled the driver but didn't reboot, which comes after reinstall.
...
OK, I'm just gonna remove and re-install the driver, then restart. Hu! Now the UI is gone but another serial device reacted on a general call. Not fully working on B but we're getting there.
...
OK, I don't know, I'm getting frustrated, let's borrow another system D - which has roughly the same configuration as B - from my colleague StrongCurrentGuy. StrongCurrentGuy borrows me his system and cautions me not to break it. I install the driver, plug the device and copy the application from B. It just works on D. Not on B though.
...
OK, you know what. I'm done. For shits and giggles I'm gonna remove that driver again, reinstall it and restart, maybe it'll magically work afterwar- WHAT THE HELL, I JUST OPENED IT AFTER RESTARTING, IT JUST WORKS - ON B!
... seriously, what the fuck. But yeah, at least it works now.4 -
fck you visual studio!!! seriously what is wrong with you?!?
~me peacfully writing some code ~
ok let's see what we did
vs: I can't compile that. The key whateverKey in line 15 is not defined.
me: ok let's investigate...
nowhere in line 15 use whateverKey.... ok....
wait I didn't change that file at all.
~me clicking rebuild solution~
vs: can't build that because of whateverKey in line 15.
me : WTF?!?
checking git diff -> file not changed
me okkkkkkk......
closing visual studio and reopening solution.
Build succeeded.
What the actuall hell?!?
I'm spending way too much time trying to get that shity peace of software to do what it is supposed to do!6 -
There’s so much we can learn from Gordon Ramsay..
I wish I could swear & insult like he can..
Woman: “who do you think you are? You insulted my friend!”
Gordon: “well if I did then I probably meant it, now get your fat ass back to your table”
“Congratulations, you just got your head out of your own ass. Now piss off”
*Customer wants more spinach*
Gordon: “ ok I’ll make you more spinach *dramatic pause* and push it up your ass”
Or my all time favorite:
“You fucking donkey”14 -
The question "are you busy" is the most loaded fucking BS question ever. If you answer and say you're busy you get told that you aren't that busy since you answeted the chat. If you don't answer the messenger blows up your shit asking many more times and possibly even fucking calls you.
If I don't answer, I'm busy go the fuck away. "But it was super important and I needed it fixed right away!" Ok, but when I answered your message just 4 minutes after your originally messaged me don't make me spend another 5 minutes asking for information you knew I was going to ask for and could have provided in one of your follow up messages (Client name, website, page with the problem, description of the problem). Also, don't tell me that it has to get fixed because I'm the one who made the mistake. It has to get fixed because it's wrong, it doesn't fucking matter who made the mistake.3 -
Recruiter reaches out to me, he says he saw my LinkedIn and thinks I'd be a great fit.
I say ok and send my resume.
He gets me a phone screen. I do it, I think I do a pretty good job. (I'm able to answer all the questions well, I think I'm onto the coding interview for sure.)
A couple days later I get a generic rejection email.
I'm not sure what happened. They had my resume, I know I did well on the technical questions (I do that kind of thing for my current job all the time.)
No idea why I'm rejected. If it was something about my experience, they could have seen that from my resume. If it was something from my phone screen, I have no idea what it could have been.
Just wanted to rant >:[8 -
Sales was about to close what I thought was supposed to be a basic WordPress project with a pretty steep delivery time (two weeks). I thought to myself: "well, ok. It's going to be rough for us to fit it into our existing schedule, but I guess the budget (unusually high) compensates." After I say OK, I find out that they were actually about to sign a FE application that takes data from various document management applications. I lost my shit. I hope there's a special place in hell for sales reps that don't get the specs before accepting projects.2
-
OK so... project I've been working on! It's a virtual processor that runs in the browser coded in JavaScript. OK so I know, I know, you must be thinking, "this is crazy!" "Why would she do this?!?!" and I understand that.
The idea of Tangible is is to see if I can get any tangible performance over JavaScript. I've posted a poorly drawn diagram below showing how tangible works.
The goal for tangible is to not use html, javascript, or CSS. Instead, you would use, say for instance, c++ and write your web page in that, then you compile it using my clang plugins and out pops your bytecode for Tangible. No more CSS, no more html, and no more javascript. Instead everything from a textbox to a video on your web page is an object, each object can be placed into a container, each container follows specific flag rules like: centerHorizontal or centerVertical.
Added to all of this you get the optimization of the llvm optimizer.
18 -
Me: OK, Google.
Google: Hi, how can I help?
Me: Open example.com
Google: OK, which browser?
Me: Google Chrome.
Google: Sorry, I didn't get you.
Me: Google Chrome.
Google: Sorry, I didn't get you again. Just say the name of the app.
Me: *Looks at the list and finds Chrome (without 'Google')* Chrome
Google: *Opens Chrome*
I couldn't reproduce it as the. Latest version of Google Assistant now opens the page in a WebView.
7 -
Ok, so I REALLY HATE ChromeOS. MY story is this: I'm using Chrome, and I want to get a file from my computer to my phone. Simple enough, I just plug my phone in, and... oh, wait! First it has to open two new windows for my phone's two storage areas. Ok, fine. I close the windows, get my file prepared, and I click/drag it over to the folder I want. Except, the computer doesn't FUCKING see it as a device anymore. It knows it's attached, but it doesn't fucking communicate with it. Ok, maybe it's a cord problem. Nope! Same issue. Maybe I need to update? Nuh-uh! That doesn't work either, since my computer's not supported anymore! And, the cherry on the top of the fucking shitcake that this whole situation is, the Files app, the one that you use to view the stuff on your hard disk? OH, IT JUST GOES AND CRASHES. I can open it! Nothing shows up. No devices work. It's just stuck like that until I reboot my machine.
God... FUCKING damnit, chromeOS.12 -
Ok, let's actually try and work on my games Dev kit workspace functionality and not get side tracked with devRant... Oh fuck I'm on it right now... Well shit!
I think I browse through devRant at an unhealthy amount lol -
Me: ok let's actually start work on a project when I get home. Something small that I can finish, bin and be happy with, just need to clone my assets repo...
*Types command, nothing happens*
Hmmm that's strange, opens router config and sees it syncing at 0Mbps
*Mad World starts playing*1 -
Spent the last half hour helping my wife over text trying to "fix" FireFox. She said any site she tries to go to just "spins and spins". Chrome, Edge, all work fine. Tried the trusty 'ipconfig /flushdns'.
Me: "Open the command line, by selecting Start and start typing cmd. You'll see the Command Prompt application. Right click and run it as an administrator"
<15 seconds later>
Her: "Do I left click or right click to run as adminstrator?"
Me: "Left click. You'll get a pop message, just click yes"
<about 10 seconds later>
Her: "This thing popped up, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
<more waiting>
Her: "Says something about making changes to my computer, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
Her: "Is it going to make changes? Are you sure I should click yes?"
Me: "YES!!"
Her: "Don't yell at me. You're supposed to know how to do this, not me. What do I do now?"
Me: "Type ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'Type ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, just ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "Yep, just put a space between ipconfig /flushdns and press enter"
Her: "Is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of ' ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, the space goes between ipconfig /flushdns, not before."
Her: "You're not making yourself clear. OK, now what?"
Me: "Press enter"
Her: "It didn't do anything."
Me: "Did you press enter?"
<more waiting>
Her: "OK, it's done. Now what?"
Me: "Restart FireFox"
Her: "Still not working. Just spins and spins."
<not 100% sure restarted FireFox>
Me: "I'll look at it when I get home."18 -
Ok seriously is Microsoft mining Bitcoin on my computer? If I leave it idle for >5 minutes it starts using intense amounts of CPU and I have no clue why (doesn't show up in task manager, all the processes added up in taskmgr are like 15% max). It's super annoying since I have a razer and high cpu turns on BOTH VERY LOUD FANS.
I checked for malware and stopped any update or useless background tasks (cortana, indexing, etc) and it has not helped one bit. If I click the screen or move the mouse it subsides immediately.
(No, I won't get a mac--I have two and they lacks compatibility with the software I need as well as the specs for what I usually work with)13 -
!rant
OK, I have a dilemma and I need some developers helps. I'm going to tell you about myself. I am 19 and have been programming since I was 11. I consider myself a full stack web developer and that is where my passion lies... I love web development. The problem is that I am currently studying comp sci at a top 10 uni and I don't really like it. I kind of enjoy it, however, I am mostly doing it for the degree because my goal is to move to the valley (currently in the UK). I'm not sure whether I should pursue this degree because it's interesting and tbh I might just need time to get used to uni life or should I just go for it in the industry?6 -
So a client of mine who I've known a long time referred me to a friend of his for a project. OK great! Quoted the guy a price got the OK but didn't know my client had told this friend they would be paying me for the job. Well I found this out when I went to get payment from the guy. I call my client and he proceeds to tell me "yes we told him we would pay for it but thought it would just be included in our project fee which was already paid".. WTF2
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First off murphy is a bitch. Week started off good, nothing bad happening then friday night came and i get an email about a site being down. Ok check it out real quick, cert is expired. No real big deal just a 20 minute fix, didn't bother me that i didn't get an expiry alert. Now is where murphy decided to be the biggest fucking bucktoothed cocksucker, generate a csr for a wildcard domain using an existing key and sent it off when i get it back the private key doesn't match the cert. Again ok maybe i fucked up, generate a selfsigned cert no fucking problem. Contact support to see if they have an idea. Oh now is when it gets fun, the fucking dumbass preceded to tell me how i didn't know what i was doing and how i just had to generate a csr and private key at the same time after i explained to the bastard that I've already tested it with a selfsigned cert. (How does this fucker have a job) By now apparently i was pissed off enough to scare murphy's pansy ass away cause i told the fucker to refund my money, got a list of 30 subdomains and setup letsencrypt on it. Now the part on this that is fucking hilarious is that it took me damn near 24 hours to be called a fucking idiot from a guy that doesn't know his ass between a hole in the fucking ground and 30 minutes of being pissed off more than i have been since i took anger management classes in the 9th grade to say fuck it and switch.7
-
So I get home from work, sit down infront of my computer and start browsing a few sites.
The loading times was not as fast as they should so I checked out my network setup. I had been auto connected to my ISP provided modems WiFi, which happens every now and then, so I reconnect to my faster and better WiFi AP.
Invalid password. What? Ok.. Let me just type in the same password, slowly..
Invalid password. MF..... Same password, looking down at my keyboard.
Invalid password. GDMF...
Browse to my AP config site, type in username and password.
Invalid password. Oh no you fucking did not just deny me entry as well.
Ok. Something is up and I'm going to get to the bottom of this!
Boot up Kali, fires loads of crap at the WiFi and the site. Still no damn luck! WTH!
I go upstairs to my AP, turn it off and on again.
I can now login on both my AP WiFi and config page.
It had frozen.
Thats two hours of troubleshooting for a "have you tried turning it off and on again" solution.
I feel great about my competence after this.2 -
Ok, I normally just play an FPS just to get it out of my system.
Just played titanfall 2 multiplayer for the first time, getting matched (And winning against) level; 40's is the best feeling you can imagine!
PS. Ive never sweat this much in my life!2 -
Those of you who run Linux *exclusively*... What are you doing in the OS that makes it a big deal for you?
Personally, I spend the bulk of my time in *apps*---editor, IDE, browser, messaging, calendar, etc. OK, a little time in command line, but minutes a day, if I add it up. And I can get Bash anywhere.
Now, you could argue that, if I spend most of my time in apps, then I should have a minimalist OS. Fair comment. Is that all it is?
But, I feel OS is quite an unimportant part of my day. App launcher for much of it.15 -
We often rant about people who think that because we can program we can do everything with computers.
But I have to admit that when I get asked what I do I often only say that I program or do something with computers. I usually don't get more specific because it's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't know anything about the subject that I would have to explain the basics each time. And I'm just to lazy for that.
It's nice when people ask me how it is going at work but I probably won't say anything more than ok or fine because my day was fucked up by a memory alignment bug in the chainloader and I now don't have the patience to explain what these both things are and why they fuck up my day. -
In my previous work, when I was under pressure (very often, because we were to few people for all the work) I used to manage the situation in the following way:
PM: It's super-important and prioritary to develop < 2 days feature >. Sales really need that feature because they cannot work without it.
Me: Ok. I'll need from them < 2-hours-to-get data > and then I can leave what I'm doing and start with the feature.
PM: *... goes to tell sales ... comes back*
PM: Well, they say they can work by doing < some not as confortable way as feature, but pretty acceptable >.
Me: Ok, then I'll continue trying to prevent the systems break down inminently.
On this work I learned a lot, but clearly, we were too few people to mantain the site, and too much lazy sales people. -
Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.
I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.
Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.
So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.
So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.
So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?
And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.3 -
Got contacted for a job "interview" by a company because they were looking for "people with my skill set". All my profiles say I am a fullstack web dev with experience in frontend js frameworks and js and php backend frameworks.
Come in to find the "interview" is an exam. Ok, fine. My brain could do with some exercise.
After the basic IQ type questions, I get the web dev exam.
It is 95% of the questions are about CSS and HTML basics.
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.7 -
IT department of client still doesn't get its shit together. Previously, I've ranted that they insist I access their GitLab through a fucking RDP.
Me: requests an account to their Confluence space
Them: give me a Confluence account. Naturally, Confluence requests that I confirm my email. That needs to be confirmed in the inbox of my.name@theircompany.com. Mail servers hosted by Azure, using Outlook.
Me: ok, let's configure my Outlook, 2FA as they configured to demand it from me... install MS's authenticator app, ok so far so good... Now I'm ready to login and find that email from Confluence and... ERROR 500 INVALID LICENSE
Fucking hell. You just love your siloes so much you actually make it impossible to access it and feel good about my own good will. -
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
Mom: hey I can't get into the phone, the PIN and PUK aren't working. See if you can fix it otherwise you'll have to go to the communications company to ask for a new card (my mom is working and can't do it)
Me: //gives it another try. Doesn't work. Searches online. Yep, can't do anything, it needs a new card
Me: sorry mom, you have to get a new card, there's nothing I can do.
Mom: OK
Me: why did you ask me for help, again?
Mom: well because you can do things and fix things and so, and I thought that maybe you could fix it
Me: 😑2 -
My friend: I think you two would really get along, once she heard you were a programmer, she really wanted to meet you.
Me: Sweet, OK, so you said she's pretty much in the same field as me, what does she do?
Friend: Oh she's in IT
Me: Nope.
Friend: What, why?
Me: Cute but , in terms you'll understand, you just don't try to arrange a member of the football team with the waterboy.8 -
3 months project:
- deadline changed to 2 months
- specs delayed by 1 month
Now a 1 month project...
Started one month earlier so I could achieve something...
Now, 23 days to deadline: here, take this 20 page PDF with 200 questions ( witch can be drastically reduced) to make the new form section (2nd section out of 6).
Me: OK, but it could be nice to have everything at once so I could design it accordingly , I can see questions here that are repetitive , it would spare me a lot of work if I could see the big picture.
she: Just put those (200 f#cking questions) on and show me so I can see if its good and deliver the rest based on it.
OK, fuck it I'm just let hibernate create all the fucking tables and I figured out where to get all the questions she wants anyway... there are 7 categories with repeated questions...(about 150)...
Just wonder what's so hard to do her job... she had 3 months to do it and I only have 1... -
Hmm... That's 2 yrs from now.. o.O
Mmm...ok... Keep the job, rewrite old crap (I mean code) I'm maintaining & rock at it..
Personal issues wise, get married get own flat/house & hopefully get back to climbing at least on weekly basis.. Ooh & maybe a doggo & kitteh.. xD
P.S. maybe find a phone that will outsurvive me.. or at least survive me for more than 3 months.. :/6 -
I've only been here for 1 month for my new position in Ops, and I already miss software development!
All I do everyday is just typing commands on the terminal.
If I am feeling fancy, I may create a script or two (that's the closest thing I have to writing code).
I hope I can get more interesting thing to do in the future. If not I can't see myself doing this in long term. It's OK for occasional tasks or added responsibility but I don't want to do it as my main job.11 -
"I want you to make a font, it needs to be heavy, but not too heavy. Like it should be able to float on water. So, bold enough to get a person's attention but not screaming"
...ok2 -
...What a day ,
"CTO new priority need this project started and completed ASAP."
Me: "What about my current project you wanted me to work on that was a high priority which took over Another project I was supposed to be working on?"
CTO: "This one is a higher priority than both of them"
Me: "ok sure shall get onto it".
PM: "A client has come in with an issue on another project I need this fixed now".
Team leader assigns me a bunch of tasks that need to get done which is ok but 5 people need me to get it done so they can do the bulk of their work.
Later for a side project CTO asks me to get a list together of things that are missing for this side project, about 60 seconds later he asks me to send him the email now - bare in mind nearly 300 assets I need to go through which are not organised so what the heck I just send him it mid sentence.
End of day get told that CTO wants me on yet another different project...
Each of these projects takes 4 months to get done. But arggggg... oh and then I hear that our new PM has decided to cut all project deadlines by half....
I am but a single person,
I just want to sit back and watch everything burn around me... But the company has a history of Scape goating people on failed project deadlines... Never a dull day in the office but tbh kinda like it. -
At work one morning, I was asked in chat for a way to edit an xml file on a Mac. They couldn't open it due to permissions. I told them to open Terminal and run sudo vi /path/to/file.xml. Never got a message back about it, so I assumed everything was OK. Later that afternoon, I received another question: "I'm in, I've made the changes, now what? How do I get out?" It wasn't funny until I realized how many memes existed for this. I'd imagined they'd quickly opened and edited it and spent hours unable to exit it; though, realistically, it probably wasn't attempted until the afternoon. Truthfully, I was new to it, too, and have no idea why I suggested vi over something else.
-
Ok so I have done some work with crypto currency mining pools and recently a client requested for me to make a splash page that showed data from multiple instances of these pools APIs. I went to find some documentation for this open source api and to my surprise there is none. I thought of querying the public API from the clients side and it worked, however it's so slow that the data shows up roughly 20 seconds after the page loads.
Easy fix right? Make a PHP server get the data every 5 seconds, cache it and serve the data with the page and use a websocket for live updates! Until I found out that there is no practical way in this garbage framework to get the damn API data without making an HTTP request or mutilating the original source code. I'm so done with this garbage framework. It literally loads pages based on a page and action parameter on the index.php. I quit.1 -
So I still get occasional email from my former employer’s ecommerce mailing list. The budget for live model shoots is nonexistent, so we had to make do with photoshopping products into different scenes. Not ideal but done right it was ok. I’m looking at the latest ad emailed to me and realized something...was...off.
1 -
A few months ago I got recommended a Flutter and Dart course on Udemy, thought yeah fuck it lets get it, fast forward to 5 minutes ago...
"Ok I'm bored, feel like coding and doing something different, lets do some of this course..."
*Opens udemy, clicks on course*
"Hm, must have changed the thumbnail..."
*Clicks first lecture and is greeted with "Hello friends!"*
Yep, got the wrong fucking course didn't I ;-;
Here hoping Udemy may offer a refund seeing as I hadn't started the course till now... Fuck1 -
I like to code as a hobby as well as do it as a day job so it surprises me quite alot when people get all funny about me coding outside of work/uni. It's just funny because half of these brain dead students know nothing about anything other than what they're taught in education. Most students are so fucking stupid nowadays and they don't like to read or research or learn. But I'm the anomaly. Ok guys. Well done, go get pissed; it's the best you can do with your braindead selves.3
-
Getting a location in android is so complicated:
First there's the permissions. Ok add it to the manifest. Oh wait, run-time permissions.
Gotta check if user has allowed the specific app to use location or ask for the permission.
Ok. That's done. Why am i not getting a location? Of course, user can turn it off from settings. Gotta check for that aswell. Or ask for it somehow.
Finally i should be able to get the location! Now, how to I use the Location service to get location in the most efficient way that suits for me? Or should I use the Google api.
Every answer in stackoverflow uses a different method. Oh well, gotta try out them all :).2 -
Continued rant of : https://devrant.com/rants/1152021
Ok, I am using this program again, this time with 43 programs (i guess), and it saves me at least 30 minutes.
Some were interested how I made it, well, another person (who is not in devrant) helped me (and he is not from stackoverflow) make it.
You can see how it works (the frontend) by looking at the image below.
I am afraid that I can't release the source now, and maybe not soon because of personal reasons.
Back to the point, I found a massive bug there, you can see "Finding uninstaller" in the middle of the two, and I can't fix it, so I shall just leave it alone.
It is Saturday now or Sunday I guess, take a good rest, and get back to work in Monday! (or school for students)
-
OK, today I tried to install Windows 10 on my laptop. The laptop was working fine, until I tried booting from the stick
Now I can't even get into the BIOS, even without having inserted the stick
https://streamable.com/tsp4n (that's me trying to boot it)
Does anyone have a clue why and how I could fix it?18 -
Them: You have 6 days to build this frontend page for our wordpress site.
Me: Ok...
*proceeds to spend 4 days trying to arse my way towards a semi reasonable bootstrapped website based on the existing website's styling.*
Me: *Presents website*, so... uh... yeah, I don't usually do frontend stuff, I'm more of a backend dev, but here's what I could do.
Them: This looks like absolute horseshit.
Me: So what do you not like about it?
Them: All of it. It doesn't look anything like the wireframe that I gave you.
Me: Ok... So let me get this straight, you want it to look exactly like how you designed it in your wireframe? *wireframe looks like a child drew it*
Them: Yes! Is that so hard?
Me: I mean, it's a little hard. I'm not exactly a front end developer. Aside from that, I think this design is not very user-friendly.
Them: we don't care about your opinions, OP. Get back in there and make it look exactly like the wireframe.
Me: Ok.
*proceeds to go to fiverr, and contract someone else to do it for me while I get to do fun stuff in the back end.* 😂
----
We'll see what they think of the project when it gets back to me. Wish me luck guys.1 -
I honestly can't remember what the hell was wrong with me when I configured my laptop. Now I am stuck with a very decent laptop with a 200something GB hdd that is even slower than any hdd I use in my other computers. Wtf. It is ok for most Situations because I only ise it to write emails or browse the internet on the go and for the demanding jobs I have several very powerful pcs at home. But for travelling it is such a pain in the ass! I can't always upload everything to a cloud and I often don't have reliable internet connection, so I help myself with usb harddrives but that sucks as well. Argh, I need to get myself to buy a 1TB ssd. But they are so expensive!
-
I hate those mother fucking, Cock sucking, dick farting retarded faggots, who get the opportunity of a new job/internship just because they have a certain "relative" in the said company/organisation.
I mean its ok that you are getting an opportunity, but just don't act all-knowing-god-tier while you don't even know how to print a statement in c++ and got it.
How many more relationships should I increase of mine so that I get into the same position like them.
One of my friends got the internship just because his girlfriend's brother works for the firm.
Now that's just super barbaric unless he gave a blowjob to the gf's brother.
Their Fucking assholes need to be drilled by a giant pile drivers.5 -
I am 17 years old, and I am trying to learn programming. I am currently trying to learn something in BASH. I have also used some JavaScript and Python to get a grasp of some concepts.
It is very satisfying when I am in the mood, but I often find it hard to find motivation to learn. Does anyone have any advice for studying techniques? General advice would also make me very grateful! :-)
I hope this is OK to post here..5 -
THREE DAYS of debugging, reading all the logs I could find, creating tens of new logs in our appliaction, and SUDDENLY an email from your IT admin:
"Hey your CURL requests are being rejected by my !oh so secure! firewall rule".
Not that I haven't said at the beggining, that THIS IS YOUR F...G NETWORK PROBLEM because we get "connection reset by peer" errors, and you ASSURED that everything is CHECKED and OK!
5 -
Ok, so I have been lurking around here for a while now. Not at all knowing what to rant about. I like my work, I don't have to deal too much with annoying (or almost any at all) customers and all in all I feel fine.
However, I feel like I want to, in some way step into this awesome community in other ways than just comments and ++.
So this post will be about a book. It's almost our Bible. Well it's probably the closest thing to a proper part of the trilogy we will get.
And for not being written by Douglas Adams (the almighty) himself; this book is surprisingly good! If you haven't, and get your hands on it, do read it!
3 -
Him: i get this error when i insert into table, ForeignKey_contraint failed, what can i do?
Me: you have to obey the constraint, make sure it exists in the other table first
Him: ok i did that but i still get ForeignKey constraint error
Me: yeah that table has a couple foreign keys
Him: could you give me a very specific example how to insert into this table
Me: ........ here is a command to remove constraints on the table
Him: thanks, that fixed it!
I am helping a programmer who works with Costco integrate to software my company sells. I don't have source code, just an understanding of the database and what the software does. If he is getting paid more than me, then I should get a job there and ask for double, I could easily work 10 times faster than this buffoon. -
Ok so riddle me this. The service for an application were required to run to send clients insurance through (as per government regulations) was working fine all day working super fast. Rare but awesome. I get a call one hour prior to the office closing (I don't work weekdays) and I am told that all of a sudden insurance isn't sending.
My mind goes right to this fu**ing process. Sure enough it's stopped on the server. Well shit ok. I click start..... Nothing. I kill it from task manager.... Nothing. "SERVICE CAN'T START"
I'm like ok that's fine let's check event logs.... Nothing. No problem let's just run it not in a service container and see if there's an error. NOPE IT DOESNT LET ME.
Okok so that's cool let's just try reinstalling the app. NOPE CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT RESTARTING THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER WHICH BRINGS THE ENTIRE OFFICES MANAGEMENT SYSTEM OFFLINE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING APP NEEDS TO BE ON THE SAME GODDAMN SERVER.2 -
TLDR; sometimes I want to murder my friends.
Pratten: Hey Ethan can you image the robotics programming laptops?
Me: Yeah sure no problem. Let me just make a custom windows iso with all the software we need so I don't have to deal with installers after the fact.
Pratten: Ok great!
Me: *makes custom ISO compiles it and puts it on usbs*
Pratten: hey could you also add drivers station?
Me: uggggg... *Recreates iso and preps bootable flash drives*
Me: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED?
Pratten: nope that should do it ;;;)
Me: ok great. *flashes laptops and runs install. (they're old so it takes a while)
Pratten: ok good job thanks. Did you install *NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED TOOL SUITE 1* or *NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED NEWER TOLL CHAIN THAT ONLY HE KNOWS HOW TO GET* ? If not I'll have you install those later.
Me: *suicides*8 -
After playing et and wow a few year it all started when I hosted my own ts2 server with npo license. Rented a server for 90 bucks as a highschool student (13) with no job. (Who the fuck rented to me? I had my own bank account and lied about my age. Had a credit card at 14 but that's another story)
*Shit is expensive*
How does one get some value out of a server? Oh right, let's host Webspace and ftp accounts.
That got me into server administration and bash.
After dropping wow in bc i started playing on private servers.
*Shit is buggy*
How do you fix wow server? Let's learn c++ and push patches to arcemu. Why is this part crashing on this one server? Let's look at the binary. Wtf is this? Oh assembler?!? Ok let's try to read this. Ok I get it now. Let's fix the code.
Ok let's host my own wow private server. We need a website for account creation.
Let's learn php. Wait php is easy compared to mastering c++? I need an app for my first smartphone (iPhone 3g) to manage the server on the go. Let's learn how to do that. Why is this so easy? Switching to Android: wait java is even easier?
And that's how I learned that if you start with the hard part and grasp the concept, everything more abstract is significantly easier. If you start to read code to learn any language it's easier then following books (for me at least). If you get an error, track it down, you might learn amazing things in the way.
And if you want to get into reverse engineering, start by being passionate for the thing you want the reverse. It will be hard before it gets easier and you will need all the willpower you can muster not the just stop.
Programming for me is not a job but my passion. It's like I'm on vacation every day of the year (expect meetings, fuck meetings)2 -
"Configuring incomplete, errors occurred!" Ok, I get that. But would it kill you to tell me what errors? If you behave like an asshole, I'll hate you as well!
-
Them: I want to be a full stack developer!
Me: Are you sure?
Them: Yeah. absolutely I'll do whatever it takes!
Me: I'll hold you to that, I will piss you off everyday if I have to, to get you learning.
Them: OK, yeah, do it!
Some weeks later
Them: I want to be a front end developer, routing and models are confusing.
Me: I would laugh you out of an interview, keep practicing and just stick with one thing before chasing the next quick reward endeavor until the difficulty curve ramps up and you give up on that too!
Them: ... But it's hard...
Me: So practice, over and over until it sinks in, it's like playing the cello or whatever, just keep practicing!6 -
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"""
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
sure?
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
# oboi
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
"no"
then install them
"no"
why not?
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
why not?
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
"XP Pro"
x86 or x64?
"x64"
# fucking...
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
"oh ok"
<User left the IRC channel.>
"""4 -
"Hey guys we originally set the demo date to August 5th and thus far I have not seen any previews before that, what's going on here?"
Ok see, that is the kind of thing that I would take to me own lil broken heart IF:
1 It was coming from a product manager at where I work
2 He would never get any sort of updates or would just plain not know about us
3 He would be I dunno....fucking paying us?
This is the thing, a friend offered the chance to help him build a product for a business man somewhere down in the land of tacos. Being in a "fuck it" mood and not wanting to say no since it sounded interesting enough I said yes. The "owner" said that he would not be able to pay since he already had hired a team of developers before that did not deliver and as such he was instead offering a part of the company.....sounds familiar?
Not wanting to let my friend down, I told the owner that I would help just as long I get complete CTO power over the product and not crying about the stack being used or ME NOT GIVING THE PRODUCT MY FULL ATTENTION BECAUSE HE WAS NOT FUCKING PAYING.
He said ok.
Of course he did not like it, but he said ok.
He has been asking for the code, the platform, demos and a bunch of other shit which I continue to refuse since he has not offered me or my boy a copy of the legal documents that we require.
Him: "You will get them soon enough, I still need to see the product just to make sure everything is ok"
Me: "You wouldn't even know where to begin looking unless you have a third party that could verify the code, last time I checked I was to be the only one good for this"
Him: "Yeah and you and <friend> are, but I just need to see the product"
Me: "I send you videos and demos, sorry dude, but no binding document == no code. I know you think I am young, give me some fucking credit because this is not my first rodeo"
Him: "I am not trying to play you or anything, you can trust me"
Me: "No, not really. Talk to me about this when you get the documents"
Him: "Well its cuz this is taking too long...."
Me: "Tssss I know!!! It sucks right? Want a good product, built with all the bells and whistles and YOU DON'T WANT TO PAY? guess what dude, I do have a full time job, your product gets my minimal attention, right there at the bottom next to taking a shit, meaning that I will give your product the same time and attention as I would going to the throne. Aye don't feel that bad, I normally take about 1 hour on the shitter, you get that for fucking free."
To be fair ladies and gents I normally don't just explode on people like this. But I just can't fathom not paying someone for a rather large software product, with only a promise that "it will sell" and then telling them to hurry up.
Far as I am concerned this product will flop, but he seems to think it is the next big thing(of course).
He can go choke on some chode.
Fucking prick.1 -
Crazy deadlines> Director: "You need to design a new architecture that has failover, multi-AZ, automated deployments, CI/CD pipeline, automated builds/tests as well, for our new SaaS product. You have 3 days to complete it"
Me: "Ok cool. Do we have the new product developed? Can I have the spec docs of the new software, libs and packages required for the env?"
Product Lead: "No we dont have anything yet. The POC is on my local PC, but I dont know what packages are needed to run it"
Me: "So I cant design anything unless I have the minimum requirements to run the new software"
Director: "Just get it up and running in a live environment and we'll take it from there"
Me: *sigh*..this is going to be a big mistake -
Me: Ok, we'll implement that message tech. But since the clients are servers in that architecture and can't speak IPv6 we've to use a dedicated VPN so the endpoint is able to connect to the servers (clients). Since we have limited network resources we should use VPN cert-encryption and send the actual data plain to save at least some overhead.
Boss: Ok! Let's do it!
Next day.
Boss: Hey! I talked to a guy from that message tech. Their encryption is certified. We should use that instead and get rid of the VPN to save the overhead!
Me: *unable to say a word*
What in "VPN in that architecture is mandatory" is unclear?
Well, I assume we'll kill the architecture then... Fun Time! -
Boss: Write a program to generate a report using some data from an existing one.
Me: OK, I will look into doing a POC
Boss: Also it would be stored in Mongo so all the data is queryable
Me: OK I will generate the file first
Boss: But it needs to be in DB, couldn't you just upload it when done?
This discussion goes on for 30 mins+ preventing me from finishing release related work...
IF THE FCKING POC/REPORT ITSELF IS WRONG OR IS MISSING INFORMATION/CAN'T BE GENERATED WHY THE FUCK DOES WHERE IT'S STORED MATTER?!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE TOY EATING TIME ON THESE TINY DETAILS THAT DON'T MATTER AT THE MOMENT.
FUCKING GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT. YES EVERYTHING IS DOABLE... JUST NOT NOW.....5 -
Me: Ok it looks like Gamemaker will never come to linux and I can't get it running under wine... Suppose it wont hurt to learn monogame while I have Linux, Mac and windows to hand...
*Googles tutorials*
Me: Oh god there is fuck all, it just points to XNA stuff... Oh look a tutorial for monogame itself!
*Notices its an official Microsoft tutorial*
Me: Swallow your pride Alex... Go to the dark side and use a Microsoft product willingly...
... I feel dirty... As if i should have a bleach bath...2 -
Why is it accepted that cs people just have poor hygiene. If I walk into a room and almost get floored by the stench if BO it doesn't make it acceptable to say "you're not used to it? It's that cs smell, man." like, ok. that dude should still go fucking shower.
Literally the entire lab was just rank from one guy, and the room is at least 30X1005 -
I had a client who wanted me to install a php project from github on a live server. I agreed to do it for $10. I set it up and it showed the setup page. so I left it there and thought this is probably how far the client wants me to go.
But then he asked me to go through the setup and completely install it. I was like ehh..ok I will do it.
But then came the shit storm of bugs in that project's installation module. Had to run through a gazzillion issues on github. Eventually I gave up.
Then I tried installing it on my localhost and surprisingly it installed fine. So I just made a zip and uploaded it to the server.
2 other devs had failed to get the job done before me. I t felt really good to get the job done.
The client tipped me an extra $5 too.
=)2 -
I guess all of you know udemy.
Can anyone tell me whether HR actually gives any shit about "I finished an udemy class"-certificates?
I like udemy. To get into a new language or something like that it's pretty cool (if you are ok with paying for things you can find on google, too). But somehow i don't trust their certificates. Do they make you look like a fool if you put them in your cv? Or is it a prove of "see how engaged I am"?4 -
Had a deal with a client that i’ll make a website for him in a month because I have other jobs that i need to finish first. I called him 2 days ago i said that i’ll upload the website for confirmation of the design in a few days, he says ok. I get around to it, developed the frontend on localhost, put it on my server for him to approve and sent him the link. He said something about a specific photo not being grayscale or whatever - I don’t even have any info for the site that he sent, got confused, ok.. I go to his old website to get some information onto the new one, surprise surprise a new website that I don’t have anything to do with appeared. Wtf, check the ftp - was uploaded 5 days ago. Fml just wasted a day and got no sleep. 99.9% that i wont get paid. Bamboozled. Cant sleep, wtf4
-
OK, I kind of liked this devRant thing, when I clicked to register for a new account, I got a stupid popup about free stickers, clicked it, the title says "get free stickers ...", to catch users attention but then you read "you have to reach 30 ++'s on a single rant"
OK, fuck off, I don't want these stupid stickers and stop doing this shit again.5 -
I was discussing scope and budget with a potential client for a side project. It involved a good bit of complex postgresql and subsequent aggregations and creation of reports. He was hiring because the last guy's work was so poorly documented, they couldn't verify its accuracy.
Me: "So, what are your thoughts on a budget?"
Him: "We were thinking something like $15/hour."
Me: "Um...ok. If I can ask, where did you get that number?"
Him: "That's what we paid the last guy."
😑😑😑😑😑😑4 -
Get given two asset packs for a project I confirm with project lead, project manager and CTO which one they want to use. They then confirm with client and they all decided asset pack 2. Ok great, 3 months later week before deadline "we need asset pack 1 used instead"... Different resolution, different aspect ratio and now get nagged every few minutes how done is it, and that it's vital we meet the deadline. So close to just walking out that door.
-
OK so I have this joke its not fine tuned yet but I'm gonna try it anyway, tell me what you think:
If I ever buy a sex robot I would get 2, male and female, that way I can turn them on before I leave for work in the morning and by the time I get home they would both be exponentially better.3 -
Ok, so I got everything running on Ubuntu 17.10. switched to i3 because holy mother of God is never have to resize a window again!
Switched to using the Von editor mode in IntelliJ because dear lord is it faster!
I love all of it. The only problem? Instead of the 6-10 hours of battery I got in Windows, I get MAX 2 hours in Ubuntu because it's always using the Nvidia card and switching to the integrated Intel causes an instant log out after the log in. (Tried everything already, nothing works)
Still, I love it.3 -
Im ok with working for your startup for 2 years for peanuts. Im ok filling in 5 other types of jobs on the way while u still fucking micromanage everything, rendering all designers useless and making them leave after a few months. Im ok telling u its ok when u say u know how hard it is to keep going cause im such a positive team player. Im ok buying my own computer cause u r too cheap to buy a device that can run fucking Safari. Im ok working day and night for years carrying your company on a promise that when u sell i wont be forgotten. Im even ok with new people making way more than me from the new investment for which i worked my ass off for years, almost burning myself out. But if you sell the company for big money and get rich without even telling me, I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
p.s. true story, second employee, got taken advantage of heavily. still working there acting like im not in the know, waiting for next move.4 -
i need to reinstall windows 10.
but i don't have an ISO.
ok i will Use Media Creation tool from M$ to get one.
I selected to burn directly to USB
and 1 hour and 50% later the AntiMalware blocked autorun.inf and mediacreation tool crashed
fuck fuck fuck fuck
so i'm still here waiting....
but this time i selected to download the ISO and i will burn it later.
i don't know who blame the antimalware or MediaCreationTool.....
i think that i will blame both.2 -
Ok.... why doesn't this come in an ISO... or a more straightforward downloader.... WTF!
I just want core and maybe C++.... and it's for a future install.... I have 2015... not gonna upgrade til I have to upgrade Windows or get a new PC... Was just planning to save it on my external HDD...
6 -
Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Lol.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
👏GREAT MORNING:))))1 -
PM: Can you help out writing a test suite for feature X? Really high priority!
Me: Ok, give me a day or so.
I get it done, and setup in CI-tool to test on the feature branch.
*Next day*
PM: It doesn't work! Can you have a look?
Me: Uhm yeah.
Only broken on feature branch of course.
Dev working on feature X: Ok pushed a potential fix, can you run test suite again?
PM: Yes, can you get on that asap?
CAN YOU RUN YOUR OWN FUCKING TESTS?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ -
*Creates a random .NET core console application on windows*
Alright, I've created this in Dropbox til I get some traction with it..
*Edits a few things, saves project and syncs files then open's project on mac later that night*
And some more progress, brilliant, save and done..
*Turns on pc next day and see's dropbox taking 80% CPU usage and %20 disk usage*
What the fuck! Ok ctrl alt delete to the rescue!
*Notification pops up saying Dropbox deleted over 20, 000 files*
Well... Aren't we off to a fucking great start .NET Core...
(Yes I know I can get all files back, done and done and can't actually 100% pin it down to .NET Core..) -
when your script doesnt work like intended.... it only exits with error code 0 and i get a message everything is ok... dam it
6 -
Urgh clients, it doesn't work ? Ok how bout you tell me the error that's causing it and I might be able to help
All I get is it does nothing 😐
And you think I can diagnose a problem that apparently does nothing, from at least 10miles away with no remote desktop 😞 -
ok. worst interview.
i was refused for a dev position because i couldnt answer a non techincal question they had for me.
i mentioned in my resume that i previously worked on sms ( when it was still a thing ). the interviewer asked me how sms can help their company. i couldnt get around to a specific answer. i mean, come on! isnt it your job to think about the application in your own company?5 -
So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.
Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .
*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building
Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.
*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build
I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂 -
Ok let's get our hate and love out for the 3 main OS types, tell us why you hate or love each of them.
Windows: I hate its lack of customisation, colours and wallpapers only go so far, and how fucking bloated it is and how little you can do about it.
Linux: it's open, free, and pretty much a sandbox for changes and is lightweight, plus if you don't like something about it, remove it, whats not to love!
MacOS: I love it because it just works and could also run on a potato (yeah I said it, fight me) and it's just a very good looking is with fluid animations and simplicity.
Now, don't be hating on people's opinions here so keep it civil :-P13 -
Development: we need Nginx installed on *insert server list*
Me: ok, let me get in tough with the platform team.
Platform team: This should be installed in the userspace, Unix teams don't support this.
And here I am, trying to get a reverse proxy running on servers on which I do not have sudo rights.
Since it doesn't work, it's my fault, both sides block the door.
I installed it locally on a virtual machine, but the compiled or installed code doesn't work once copied.
The joy of being an "application engineer". This job title means nothing!12 -
Thursday
Project Manager: Reckon we can get a demo/status update tomorrow?
Friday:
*status update*
Project Manager: Alright great
Monday 1pm:
*basically a shit tonne of noise all morning, can't get anything done*
Project Manager: Reckon we can get a status update right now?
*status update*
Project Manager: Alright, reckon you can demo it on Friday?
Me: Uh...
Project Manager: Ok, let's aim for a demo anyway.
Research Lead: Great!
Org Lead: How is everything going?
Me: I don't like how Project Manager micromanages.
Org Lead: Ahhh, yes, but it was me that asked him to manage like this
Me internally:
What's 65 - 28? Oh yeh, 37 more years of this. Is there a way I can kill myself painlessly?10 -
Just because I know Laravel, Django, Angular2 and React two companies are offering me double the salary I am getting now. But I love my current work place and I might get the amount here too but maybe after six or seven months. I love it because there are better developers here than me and I am learning a lot. Is my decision to stay ok? What would have you done?(btw I am staying anyway)4
-
A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!
Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...6 -
Ok i will never get airpods.
Not becasue of its price.
But becasue i will lose them in less then a week !
If we divide price by how much time i used them, it would be 20bucks per use...
This is expensive !2 -
TL;DR: fear of bricking my laptop due to typo pinning.
The worst nightmare i am living in right now...
I was noticing i did need some software in sid so i decided to use apt pinning for said software...
I configure the system, ok test looks good... I push it to production, run it on the system....and the nightmare starts.
Lits of packages get updated, and i am screaming 'noooooooo' since debian sid softwarz can sometimes break everything! I discovered that i did test my apt pinning config for the presence of the amount of numbers, but not at their value... Sooo, by accident swapping pin numbers for stable and unstable you get... Your worst apt-get update nightmare...
I hope it does not become a brick.1 -
This happened 2 years ago. With 1 year c++ application development experience in a big firm, the new company hired me as "intern". That moment I was like ok ok whatever then the nightmare began. They forced me to code on windows xp with visual studio200x with an old ass c++ (much older than my previous work, there's no string data type) and it has to work on IE. I told my supervisor that this code is obsolete and I need a new windows, IDE, and newer c++ to work on. He said he will get it done. 1 month passed I still sat my ass on the same chair with an old ass pc in front of me. Best thing I could do was designing a new web ui yet they still force me to work on their unfinished obsoleted codes. Well u know what? I quit 😒3
-
First meeting with a client, who wants a programm to organize the produced data they have collected.
Interviewing their "technical director":
Q: "How do we get access to the data?"
A: "Yes, the data is stored as (insert really unknown data type) files on our servers.
Q: "Ok, but how can we access the data from you? FTP?"
A: "Umm, I will give you the link to something... I mean the folder".
If I had a rubber duck in my hands at the moment, it would have been it's last, but loud quack5 -
OK, I know the general consensus of StackOverflow on DevRant...but jesus h christ...do devs not debug their own shit anymore? I can't say how many times I see "I get this exception...how do I fix...hurrr durrr....". When it all comes down to it, if they just attached a debugger and looked that variables/properties, they'd see what kind of stupid shit they are doing.
-
Need to install android studio and sdk 24, but have to install sdk 25 first. Oh comcast is having a degradation in my area and im down to .5 mb/s. Its ok i didnt want to start learning ionic last night. Nooo i wanted to wait until after i get home today.
Oh yeah, something broke my windows install last night and i had to reformat so i got to install it twice after spending hours installing all the other things i need thanks to dsl speeds.
GG -
Recently I stumbled upon some articles on the internet claiming you could use window managers on the windows subsystem for Linux. I got a tad too excited, left what I was studying (today I regret it, I just finished a test I didn't know shit about), and started sudoing apt-get install the fuck out of my terminal. Downloaded an X server for Windows and pressed i3 on the terminal.
The server's window was black, but I knew everything was ok, so I pressed alt+enter. My poor eyes melted on the presence of the brightest, whitest terminal window I've ever seen. I must admit I felt really disgusted by the white, but that didn't matter, I had fucking i3 running on my windows laptop. Now when I get home I'll try to fix the dbus problem that prevents gui programs from starting and make everything look pretty. I hope it works!
tldr: I burned my eyes with a white terminal. -
Is it a bad sign when after an interview they say they have more candidates and that they'll get back to me after?
I need to prepare better for next time, will be ok5 -
Ok. I got it. I need a portfolio. That will speak for you. I’m working on it. I’m building great stuff. In the meantime. How the heck do I get a job as a junior web developer with no experience. I only have a coding bootcamp and a 4 month internship. All companies want people with experience. You won’t even have an interview without experience. So what’s the strategy then? Looking out for some words of wisdom from fellow devs.4
-
Ok. I'm working on a small website, and MOTHER OF OF WEB DESIGN.
I try to set up WAMP, but it takes me 2 F-ING DAYS.
SO THEN THE FREAKIN HTML SCRIPT REFUSES TO WORK. AND THEN, ONCE I FINALLY GET MY HOPES UP, WAMP DECIDED TO JUST NOT WORK TODAY, SO I SPEND 3 HOURS FIXING THAT CRAP, AND THEN AFTER THAT PIECE OF HELL, I CAN'T FIND ANY EXAMPLE CODE OUTSIDE OF ADVANCED WEB DESIGN, SO I SIFT THROUGH THAT, JUST TO FIND HOW TO MAKE IT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL A DATABASE IS. THAN I REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO INSTALL MIRE PROGRAMS. THAN, I REALIZE THIS GUY IM LISTENING TO IS USING A MAC OS X ALTERNATIVE. SO IM DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET THIS TO WORK. AND THEN, *POOF* ALL MY WORK IS UNREADABLE SPAGHETTI.
ALL FOR A DAMNED TEST.
TL;DR, Php is not good if your working offline.9 -
I live in an apartment building and ordered a DVD from Amazon, 2-day delivery on Friday. So was supposed to arrive yesterday but got a "Delivery was Attempted". I said ok probably the postal service being lazy. Some days they just don't deliver even though they should...
They tried again today but I get notified of the same problem. Now I'm pissed so finally contact Amazon. Turns out they didn't use USPS or any of the big shippers.
I'm going WTF... isn't it common sense... all these rocket science engineers and they can't add a simple if?
if(address.HasApartmentNumber) shippers.Select( x => x.CanAccessApartmentBuildings)9 -
Do you ever procrastinate getting into a project, at any phase, starting, mid code updates, etc,,, knowing it is not only going to take you time to get your head back into it, but you also know that once you do, and hopefully yes you get into a groove, that it requires a mental time commitment... that last word, commitment, I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to get into, commit to just yet, so, I start procrastinating by doing a whole list of small stuff I need to finish first, because god knows when I get into this thing, I won't be able to jump out and do anything else easily... and then let's say all that goes well,,, small stuff done, I've procrastinated long enough, now I'm ready to drive in, OK, here we go, 5 minutes of reacclimating myself, and someone walks in, wants my attention, which I can't give them, I've already started down this slippery slope... and somehow I come off rude if I don't acknowledge them....aaaggghhh...!4
-
Ok, so I'm a student and in my free time, I mostly write a bit of python, C++ and a bit Haskell for fun...
I wanted to try out Android development now...
HOLY FUCKETY FUCK, THIS SHIT TAKES TIME!
most of the time, I get an idea, open vscode and start typing (maybe install some modules for like 10 minutes), not with this: Android studio took hours to download with all the needed SDKs and libraries, then I created a new empty(!) Activity, then fucking Gradle needs hours to get it fucking ready... On a fucking XPS 13 9370!
How do you guys cope with that waiting, does it scale that way to bigger projects?
I would call myself rather patient, but if I have an idea, I don't want to set up the most basic environment for 3 hours...
Man that shit is bulky...4 -
Continuing my last random post. (Please don't bother to take a look at it.)
But, hey you. Yes you, get yourself one beer/whisky and cheers!!
Why? Because my first django project ran successfully in staging environment!! Ok, There were few little bugs. But I fixed most of them.
I don't drink. So please go and enjoy on behalf of me.
And don't drink too much. Keep one bottle for production deployment.
P.S. This is just a beginning of the new journey! Still, lot to learn and experience.1 -
Not using all my time. I really don’t apply myself sometimes. Sometimes that means not using work time efficiently, sometimes that means I get stuck on a simple problem for too long because I don’t think through it. Also, I’m trying to love coding more. It takes a lot of code to get a small result sometimes, and that’s ok. I got hooked on being able to do big things with little code from the start. As we get better we know there’s more that can be done, but we are more familiar with just how much work it really is. At the same time we are more capable than ever of doing it. Just gotta embrace the suck, then love your finished product.1
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Having to hold hands.. dudes been here nearly a year, and I still have to walk him through things. Keep in mind this guy apparently has prior experience. It goes like this:
Him: this process is failing and I don't know why.
Me: did you check the logs?
H: no.
M: ok well what about the code? Have you traced through to find where the error is happening?
H: no not yet.
Couple hours later..
M: Did you get that error sorted out?
H: no.
M: never mind, I'll take care of it. -
Here developing a react native app using console.log everywhere cause the debugger won't stop at the right line or skip libraries when stepping.
But I still somewhat like RN 💙 I think it's a fairly ok framework when you get the hang of it.
I was thinking about giving Flutter a try though, and see how easy it is to use. What do you think about this library?2 -
Ok so this has been asked before I guarantee it buuuuuuuut.
I've been meaning to set up a Minecraft server and was curious if any other devRant users would wanting to join in and/or help pay for upkeep?
(Don't need to pay but it would help out if it does get some traction!)
Just comment if you would like to and if I get enough interest I'll look into setting it up :-)4 -
Automate is a great app...
(Scroll to last paragraph for a question if you wanna skip the faff)
Semi addicted to a time waster mobile game that has micro transactions. Yet you can get free ingame currency by watching ads over and over.
Using automate i managed to 'automate' the process of "watch add. Click ok. Repeat"
Now when i sleep or idle ill just let it rake up some cash. Sadly it isnt full proof as sometimes (1 out of 20 times) it fails to run the ad and that breaks ot all. But restsrting it is easy and thats another 20 cash!
What have you done to skip tedious work for something trivial or some trivial gain but felt good you did it anyways?4 -
Me: OK (I have a test on a couple days from now, I have to study)/(it's 3am I have to get up at 9am - I try to have a good sleep schedule OK)/(I need to get up and get ready to go to uni)/(some other thing I should be doing). I'm just gonna check devRant real quick.
//30' later: still on devRant
Me: Goddamn it not again -
some old time clients finally decided to pay me, so I had a bit of cash on me (I feel rich, lol).
here's the thing: I am torn in between buying a second monitor and investing in that server i planned to build in a previous rant.
I could just save the money, I dont know if I am being extra right now, I remember when I just had half a laptop screen to work with, now i have a this used 24 inch monitor I bought for cheap now I want to expand with another 24 inch probably. this arrangement will make things a bit comfortable and faster for me but it still wont affect me if I dont get it...........ok I'm talking too much5 -
I remember when i was first deciding whether to do web programming or desktop applications, i chose java/C/C++ mainly because I already had experience. Back then when i was researching web stuff it was HTML + CSS + javascript and something called jquery, ok cool seems like I can pick it up in the future. Fastforward to 2018 and i was looking to get into it, BUT holy fucking shit what a confusing minefield and cesspool of javascript horror and frameworks and bloat, wtf happened??
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Ok, so I saw someone post in Dev rant that the incognito browsing history was stored in the system32 folder so I thought that's quite amusing, I'll tell my cousin to see if he falls for it. Next thing I know he actually deleted it! He then asked me how to fix that. Me being the twat I am told him that the fix was quite simple. All you need to polarise the hard drive to get those sectors to start working again ( literally talking out my a** here to make it sound a little more legit). To do this take the hard drive out and rub a magnet up towards the pins where the cable was connected. He now has a broken hard drive and I have to convince him that it was because he rubbed it the wrong way as I really CBA to have to buy him a new one and get his little laptop up and running again. I really didn't expect him to actually do it or listen to me. To top it all off he wants to study computer science at uni (he's just started collage).2
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Ok can someone explain this to me, i cant get it to function properly on chrome. Others are fine...
7 -
> be me
> client proposed changes
> "Get this done now"
> me "ok I'll get right on it"
> wheresthechangesihavetodobecausethisis_alreadychanged.php
> Call client
> "oh yes, about that, I already did it, thanks"
> ???
> profit -
Ok so I had to make a revision on a PDF with JS that was being tested to fix some bugs, I hadn't touched it or Acrobat Reader for more than a month I think but I could work on it well back then.
I had to see the problem first so when I go and open it with Adobe Reader, it crashes. Weird. I can't get it to work.
Well I'm reinstalling it then.
After downloading the (now correct, I tried to use an old one I had and lost some time) installer, I tried to install it and it asked me to close Outlook and Excel. Weirder.
I do, and after finishing it said "you have a newer version, open it?". Super weird. Of course when I accepted it didn't work.
I uninstall my current installation and while uninstalling it asks me to close Chrome. Ok now I'm not ok with this shit.
Adobe wtf?
I needed to fix it in some minutes and it ended up taking hours.4 -
The moment your friends discover that you are web dev:
-Hey, can you help me with something?
-Yeah, what?
-I want to install Word, can you help me? I can give you the computer if you want
-... you can get it from the web page, and you have a student's discount...
-No no, I will buy it, and you can install it, ok?
What the hell is wrong with this world?1 -
Ok so I just changed my keyboard layout to neo2 because qwertz can suck my balls. Looking quite good so far. I've been writing some smaller texts and it looks like you can get used to it quite fast (i also changed because I wanted to learn writing with 10 fingers anyways. Not that I've been writing slowly before, but why not).
The bad thing: all shortcuts (vim etc) feel strange because I have to betray my muscle memory now. So I thought I might also just switch to emacs now. Have to learn it from the beginning but it might be worth it.
Did anyone of you have any experience with neo (german) and what editors did you use?6 -
Reddit... is so confusing to me. Can't post until you've posted enough... ok... I get it, like a green-card. I have to be in the US for 7 years before I can get a green-card, but I'm not allowed to be in the US. BUT
Seriously... answer me this:
What do I write here... if I want to ask the moderator a question? I've sent a bunch and I'm starting to think that it is my fault. I'm not going to lead the witness here: just please explain it to me.
Will this send it to all of the mods? Do I need to pick 1 mod and put their name there? Please... help me understand. This just shuts my brain off when I read it.
6 -
Fucking hell. So, I had an interview with market research company and in said interview I got told to bring my passport to my first shift training and it was ok if it was 5 years out of date. Additional info, they were supposed to call us on Thursday to book said shift and send us an email with a information pack. They never did.
Ok, day of shift comes along. After I booked it because no one fucking bothered to call any of us. Email never arrived but whatever. I go to the place and bring my 3 years out of date polish passport... Big fucking mistake. They don't seem to like polish passport seeing as how it's only the British ones that get the out of date is okay thing. So I'm sitting there still calm because sure, company policy, they have to do it. The training guy was nice and all, offered to get me to their office to speak to them about it. I accept and off we go.
At the office, I basically get the information that it's only British passports that get it and I basically can't use anything else as proof of ID, which is funny seeing as I have a polish identity card that I can leave and enter the country on within the EU. I suppose I'm going to try looking for a job that doesn't require passports for now and if I find a good one then they can go get fucked by a bull for all I care.
In conclusion, I get to wait till I'm 18 (thankfully only a month) to apply for a new passport in the local polish consulate. Brilliant. All thanks to some cunt that decided they require fucking passports with such beautiful (note the sarcasm) rules. The fucktards.
Hoping the apocalypse comes early for these cocksuckers,
BadFox -
OK so here's the business/economic reason of why MS bought GitHub.
https://stratechery.com/2018/...
I don't quite get it... but basically it seems its like LinkedIn, just buying the users/access to the developers...2 -
Ugh. Where to begin!
If you gotta make a standard for everyone to follow, you better make it readily available. Even though you barely have any users, but if it's a standard, anyone can try to follow it tomorrow. Or else take it down completely.
There's a standard for learning tools handled by IMSGlobal (Don't ask who they are, no idea). So if you want to build a tool to integrate with different learning platforms, follow this.
OK now, to read the documentation you have to register for an account. As if this is bad, ....... wait for it ........, sign up has to be approved by an admin. My request is already weeks old but not approved.
OK. Google around and try to see if some alternative can be read than that shitty website. Apparently, they have a Spring plugin on GitHub that can be used as a Maven dependency. It has a small readMe attached so I can get something out of it.
And I'm using Spring, golden right? Not quite...............
turns out the stupid readMe is outdated. If you follow those instructions, you get errors. WONDERFUL!!
Now I have to dig through all the code files and try to make sense of what I'm supposed to do. -
Ok, for what I saw here, many issues with management can be solved the most bureaucratic, ass-covering way possible – get that in writing and mention it when resulting issues come afloat.1
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Ever since i started using clojure for private projects i find it increasingly frustrating to work with other languages. They all have their ups and downs sure but i just hate having to transform my data over x different data types to get only a fraction of the result i want from each. Im tired of looking up how to operate each different data structure. I could maybe be ok with it if this whole constant conversion of things was effortless but i find myself spending more time trying to get the language to work with me than doing actual work. There is this friction i feel between me and the language when writing java or python that just fucking tires me.1
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once I heard a joke that a nerd programmer want to have sex with his so called gf, she said if u could post something online and get 10K reply then she will do it.
guess what that dude did?
he post "PHP is the best language ever" on a dev forum
he got 10K reply in 10min, the gf said ok so be it let's do it.
the guy said could you wait, I really think PHP is the best language ever I need to persuade those assholes on this
at last he win the war but lost the sex1 -
I watched a few reviews for the new nvidia RTX 4070 Ti graphics card. One question on my mind is: why is it so huge?
⏺️4090 is huge -> ok I get it, 450W power is a lot of W
⏺️4080 is huge -> ok I guess, 320 W of power is a still a lot of W; although it should be considerably smaller than 4090 (but it is not? why)
⏺️4070 Ti is huge -> 3 slots size for this graphics card? What the actual hell? This card is rated just 285 W. It makes no sense
I do not get it. The only explanation I can find is that the manufacturer got so lazy they cannot be bothered to design 3 different cooling systems, so they reuse the same cooling system on all graphics cards. RIP4 -
Mark: hey guys I wanted to connect with you all (on FB) and have a quick chat before the meeting.
Cook, Pichai, Bezos: ok, mhhm... what's up?
Mark: yes so I think we gonna be in for a grilling so want make sure we minimize the damage.
All: uhhm....
Mark: I'm suggesting we agree on the order which we join the webex so we don't look bad..
Pichai, Cook: I don't get it...
Bezos: ... oh I think I get it.... you mean appearing as FAAG?
Cook: hmm..
Pichai: what's that?
Mark: not important but anyway... The solution is simple.
Bezos: yes Sundar just login first and I guess can send us all push notifications to our phones.
Pichai: hm... Ok... Wouldn't this get us in trouble though.... This sounds like collusion...
Mark: ok guys... Uh let's just end it here then... This chat Never happened...
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rant == needHelp(c++/Qt)
Ok, so I want to pass a pointer to my main class like
CSprite2D::CSprite2D(int number, Ui::MainWindow *i = 0) //gets the number of total sprites from MainWindow
{
number_sprite = number;
ui = i;
QTreeWidgetItem *item = new QTreeWidgetItem;
item->setText(0, "Node 2D " + number_sprite);
ui->treeWidget_2->items.append(item);
}
But I get an error (blablabla doesn't have a class type)
I know, some people hate it, when others use devRant as StackoverFlow, but I can't get any good results off SO, as I always get downvoted for some minor stuff3 -
Once I was waiting on a client to ok some minor spelling corrections in an app. I don't know what I was thinking but I pushed it to the store without thinking.
I told my manager, and I was so annoyed at myself. I was trying so hard to get into a senior role and I was feeling super terrible. I actually requested a letter of warning, but my manager just laughed and refused. PHEW! -
!developer_rant
Ok, so my pc is on it's way out (Cries in the corner) so i thought i would just bite the bullet and buy my new system, comes to around $1800 AUD without the GPU which i already have... So i decided I would use zipmoney as i prefer to pay by month (yes i know it costs a little bit each month) but... My application got declined for a $2000 account... So you are telling me i was able to apply for a bank loan last year for $4000 and get approved, get approved to rent a house... I have a perfect credit rating but apparently i dont qualify for a simple loan because i dont earn enough... I'm earning almost double what i was when I applied for a fucking bank loan!5 -
so here i am, recreating the same code.
i'm using an acceptable solution for running this on a linux system.
they updated it so blkid won't display information without root now, a dozen times. ok. fine. i get it blkid can also SET the id.
so.
lsblk -fJ
nice command, gets me the info I want.
implementing, recognizing the implementation.
good code.
why the fuck do I have to rewrite a relevant utility that bypasses google's shittiness ? why ? WHY ?2 -
I dont understand why people talk so much crap about python. How it "pseudocode".. yea its a" joke" i get it. But if whoever is making said joke dont even know what pythonic programming is , nor practice it. Then said person dont really know how to code in python.. its more like modified c++ and they cant talk crap.
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Another Team: How do we do this thing? What aws role do we need?
Me: You do it like this, and I don't know the role by this guy does and all you have to do is ask him for the name of the role to assume.
AT: Ok, great.
AT: We're going to do it like this (wrong way, completely against best practices and completely against what the company architects dictate)
Me: No... thats the wrong way. Don't do it that way. That is bad, because (Reasons A, B, C). Do it the way I told you it should be done.
AT: Ok! I see thank you!
3 hrs later
AT schedules a meeting to go over options to do the thing ... including the WRONG WAY and they still haven't talked to That Guy to get the role name they need.1 -
"How about we don't do it this way because I have undone what you did and have redone it in a stupid way and if we have to do it the correct way we'll have to undo MY work, so let's just keep it like it is, ok?"
Really? And one of your arguments is "because it's working now", bitch it was working before, you just didn't read my code.
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt though, I don't think you did this on purpose, you were tired yesterday, I get it. But still, could've talked to me before deleting all my code.
I'm not that mad though, I got paid the same and still found a nice pattern I can use on my own future projects, it just won't be used at work. -
I get tired of people complaining about rails "magic" it's annoying. Ok we get it, you have never taken the time to understand it's naming conversation or looked under the hood.
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Ok, we were troubleshooting a network connection problem. My boss told me: use fping, a small command line utility that gives you a timestamped ping. We can then check when did the connection go down. Ok. Since I've always advocated the importance of knowing advanced scripting tools, i tried to do it with powershell. I've been playing with Test-Connection for an hour to try to get not only the timestamp when the connection is ok, but the timestamp when the connection is down. Don't want to go into details. I've just a question. A solution that allows you to do such an easy task in say 20 lines of code is the proof that the system works or that it doesn't work? To make long story short, now i'm downloading fiping.6
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ok that's it, I hate Gmail security. If I don't have access to my phone I can't get on my account in order to recover my phone, fuck.
I have tried to disable all of the security but it's impossible3 -
!dev
Went to NYC to get an MRI and ate out afterwards around KTown, 32nd St and walked into one restaurant. Got the menu and basically saw everything was at least $20-30... Walked out sorta embarrassed but wondering when did they get the expensive... Were they always that expensive...
Went to a curry place next to it and it was OK, just got a beef curry, but that cost $17...
So this year I got a raise "because I'm a top performer" but today I'm just wondering, is this just another inflation adjustment...
Oh, I also bought some cakes... Those were $4 each but had a 3 for $10 deal... and some special bubble tea was $6, gave a pass on that too...4 -
When all the feedback you get from a damned class diagram was "Ok looks good :)"
Not sure if good because it doesn't look like a complicated cobweb anymore or because the relationships established were right - though I doubt you can say that just by looking for a mere 30 seconds at a class diagram with more than 20 classes. -
We are getting a lot of questions about the performance of one of our site. An external bureau sended over a document with every little lighthouse point to improve. Im ok with that but if i turn that into a 3 page document with my own findings and a manager says: i dont get it maybe you should start reading the document because you clearly didn’t.
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I DESPISE languages that enforce a style on you because "muh community code consistency". Like ok, I understand it, but if it gets to a point where I cannot configure *MY* IDE to format *MY* code the way I want I'm gonna get pissed at you. Why does it matter to you if my project uses 2 or 4 spaces? At least give me the option to disable your fucking formatter and use my IDE's default one.
Fuck you Dart.10 -
Ok, this is a weird one....
My main pc is a laptop running windows 10.
Recently it started doing this odd thing: sometimes when i click shutdown it shutdowns... And then turn back on by itself !!
Since i turn it on when i get back home and then shut it down when i go too sleep the first times it happened i thought that i pressed the restart button since they are close (and a few times it really happened) but since then i started beeing careful when clicking and yes, it turns on by itself wtf.
But this doesn't happen always so maybe it's a software bug (Does possession count as software issue ?) , if it was an hardware issue I'd expect it to happen always.
But since is not a major issue i keep forgetting of googling it.
Probably it's just a winzozz bug or it's the start of the AI uprising.... Who knows..3 -
Client's IT department is fine about giving me a laptop for exclusive access to their VPN, security reasons, etc. Ok, fine I get it.
But they do not want to give me a Linux machine - only Windows!
How am I supposed to get shit done.11 -
Ok, you've got some free time and a folder full of bookmarks to get through the subjects you need for that cert....
....but it has been busy these past few months. One day out of your holiday just to chill and do nothing, then you can get to work....
....you have 9 days. 2 out of the 9 is ok just to relax, it is a holiday after all....
....ok, your going back to work in 2 days and the most you've done is read some semi-related articles that were shared on Twitter. Sort it out....
....24 hours to go, you've essentially done nothing productive. I guess I'll go back to fitting it in at work or convincing myself I'll do it when I get home after a long day.
Anyone else struggle with this? Not just for certs in particular, but just learning in general. -
I'm very confused by the notifs , everything ok? @dfox
I should mention I have gotten some 20+ mins late (I know cause they mention me whilst I look at the rant and then I get it)
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I have been using Linux for a while and I get update notification about 3 times per week. I find it annoying. As soon as I plan to get some work done, I get a large notification popup saying "Hey, it's time to install le updates". I find it distracting; especially so because I use my laptop about 3 times per week; so basically EVERY TIME when I'm about to use it, it says "HEY you know what? Time for UPDATES".
Updates on Windows are annoying too; but at least they do not appear as often. I find this unacceptable and I do not know how anyone could think that distracting people from work so often is "ok". This is bad.11 -
Hey guys,
Need an opinion if this is gunna work or not
I have a machine that currently has windows 10 de-activated and I want to activate it with a win 7 license, except, I don't want to lose the state of the machine.
Here's what I plan to do:
Clone the machine to an external drive, wipe and reinstall windows 10 and activate with windows 7 license. Get it to the point where it's on the desktop. Then clone it back to the state it was before.
The thought behind this is that the activation is tied to the mobo so the data/install of the actual windows doesn't matter.
I know this isn't exactly a dev question, but I figured its still kind of in the same area so it would be ok.
Thanks to all that reply ❤️15 -
The 7 stages of Computer Debugging:
Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.(task is assigned nothing to it it's nothing..)
Pain and guilt. ...(shit I knew I needed to the a sick day)
Anger and bargaining. ...
(Ok let's see if we can get this fucker fixed ....Get fixed now you asshole)
Depression. ...
(Oh man I never going to leave this office today 😭)
The upward turn. ...
(Well sec let's try stack overflow 💡)
Reconstruction and working through. ...
(Yay I found an actual fix after browsing 23 answers)
Acceptance and hope. (Fixed is in code repository... It's 21 and also hope to get some Xbox time)
P.S
It's a striking resemblance the grief stages 😜 -
Does anyone know an easy to use server to run a java algorithm? Like I'm a total noob yet and I need something where I unzip the src folder and I get it up and running. Terminal use is ok. Each run takes me 8 hours and I need workforce...
I want my computer back for my personal projects :/2 -
I did something really stupid and I need some help.
I was trying to use rvict1 to catch packets from my iPhone. I was high when I was doing it and my Mac asked for some type of permission. I pressed OK by accident instead of using the option to modify my system preferences to continue the process. Now I can’t get that systems preference window to show again. Anybody got any tips?9 -
Anyone notice how fucking difficult it is to install software from GitHub... well for amateurs mostly. I went through pretty much hell to simply install a spotify playlist downloader script from GitHub. Had I not have had Python installed I would have had to download that too. You Install Python, Google a guide to get the pip command up and running. Download the software. PIP it? Then you find out it uses 3 custom libraries that have to be installed separately. Oh that reminds me, u still need an IDE to open the script and figure that, on your own. Then the script is super buggy, expected though it was still in development. I have no idea where I am going with this. Point is ppl need to get better with hosting code at GitHub. And it wouldn't hurt to include a guide to installation in ReadMe.md OR Installation.md. Ok am done now xd5
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Ok. I still can't get SSL working on my site so I'm gonna assume its my fault. Time to go back to a default template test that get it to work and if that works go from there. Ive done EVERYTHING my host says to on the dashboard side I can short of crying to them. And honestly. Fuck that2
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