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-
New for avatars - emotions! You can now change your facial expression on your avatar to better capture your dev mood! Getting expressions working right turned out to be quite the undertaking due to the ripple effect of the various layers that each expression touched so our total layers just for men ballooned out from 300 layers to 1100. And @dfox re-architecting how layers work to handle the interconnectedness of expression meant tying together facial expression, skin tone, facial hair, and hair color to make sure everything stays in sync. It’s a fun new addition, I hope everyone enjoys!
I also want to apologize for the delay in getting this out, I meant to have this done ages ago but I got thrown a curveball at work and was laid off back in April and have been super stressed running around trying to find a new job for the past 3 months. I figured I’d have more free time to work on devRant, but hunting for work is so exhausting, it’s really taken its toll emotionally and financially (no unemployment benefits because according to my state even though we lose money every month “you’re still a corporate officer”). Things are finally looking promising on the job search front, and I expect once things get back to normal @dfox and I can get our release velocity back up, but until then, please bear with me.
P.S. If you have the resources, we certainly do appreciate your support with devRant++ Your monthly contributions really do make a difference! Thanks all!
44 -
One of my favorite aspects of devRant has always been getting to learn more about the awesome people who use it. Beyond just the awesome stories posted by many here, one of my favorite ways to learn about and feel connected to the people here has always been desk/setup reveals. I personally love seeing different kinds of setups from all over the world, knowing that’s what the people here use to do their work and compute in general.
As an experiment, we want to try a few different things to highlight desk/setup/remote coding location posts. First, we’ve created the first devRant Instagram account, which is completely focused on developer desks/setups/workstations/remote coding. Please check it out here and follow: https://www.instagram.com/devdesks/
I want to use the account to bring more attention to the wide assortment of setups the awesome members of the devRant community post from all over the world. We’ll promote cool desk/setup/remote work images that are posted on devRant to the Instagram account for more exposure/additional audience.
Beyond that, I also want to try to come up with a way to better organize all of the desk/setup posts on devRant and encourage more of them. One kind we don’t see that often that I personally really enjoy is people coding with their laptops in locations that show the culture of their country or something special about the region they are from. Personally, I’m going to try to post some of those for where I live and work.
So how can you help with this effort? It’s easy! We encourage people to post their setups/working remotely pics and we will start featuring them on the Instagram account and hopefully elsewhere in the devRant app for some increased visibility/searchabilty over what we have now (since pics are kind of hard to search).
Also, we plan to make the weekly rant this week “post your setup,” so maybe wait until then to post, and you can work now on getting that awesome shot :) I know a lot of people here love photography like I do, so I think that part is fun too.
Please let me know if you have any ideas or questions about this, and I’m looking forward to seeing the desks/setups of many more devRanters in the next few days!
P.S. not a requirement, but one thing I think makes these photos better looking through a lot of them is when there is code visible in some way.44 -
*at work* (fictional names)
Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.
😆14 -
Scene: Senior developer left, 3 Junior devs(including me) are now loaded with work.
*Intern asks for help*
JuniorDev1: I have 2 projects of which i'm the lead on one. I don't have time to help anyone.
JD2: 2 projects as well dude, speak to me after work, much easier then.
Me: 3 projects, lead on two. Sure how can i help you.
Took less than 5 minutes to help the intern.
2 hours Later. Check in meeting
PM: Our Junior devs are really busy and can't always help you guys. JD1 are you overloaded?
JD1: Yes, is their anyway we can split the one projects work?
PM: Sure. JD2 are you overloaded?
JD2: Not really, but i agree on splitting the projects between the three of us.
Me: *Are these fuckers serious? i have three projects, they have 2 and they wanna give me more work because they are overloaded and don't know how to manage their time*
PM: Ok cool, i'll update it. CooCooK4Choo, i see you building your own game during lunch time. You definitely not overloaded.
Me: Actually! what i do in my lunch time is my own personal work because it's the only time i have to work on personal projects. I actually do feel overloaded with the 3 projects and now more work from them, could we split the work load evenly please.
PM: I thought you said you could handle the 3 projects?
Me: I can, i have been, but with more work coming my way i don't think i'll be able to.
PM: Unfortunately i need the other Junior Devs on demand, so i won't be able to split the work load evenly.
Me: On demand for what? Why not let the interns help?
PM: In case i need their help. The interns are helping the other Junior Devs with things that don't require too much out of them.
Me: *This FUCKEN BITCH!* Cool, I'm done with the 1 project, expect the business rules at the end of the day. I'll see if i can get the other 2 near done by Friday so i can have time to look over the code of the new projects that i'll be splitting with the other Junior Devs.
PM: Cool, glad we all on the same page.
You know what? FUCK this stupid shit of favoring people in the FUCKEN work place.
This is my first full-time job ever, I've been here for a full year today and i can honestly say these people are just giant children with money. I should know, out of work i am a giant child, but from 8:00 - 16:00 i'm a FUCKEN adult.17 -
When CS professors are lazy to grade so they think they can just give you any grade without you questioning them...
Me: Hi Professor, I see I got a 94 out of 100 on my 2nd project. Your comments said, some of my functions didn't pass your junit test cases.
Prof: Yes!
Me: How come? I tested it several times before submitting and they all passed the test cases. You gave us the test cases to write the code for.
Prof: Yeah, but some of your functions aren't passing on mine.
Me: Since I'm in your office, can you please run it again so I can see?
Prof: Are you doubting me? I gave you the project and I'm telling you they're not passing my test cases.
Me: I just want to make sure because I did work really hard on this project to pass all the test cases. *Runs the code to show him on my laptop and they all pass*
Prof: Fine, let's run it together on mine again. *He runs it and they all pass on his laptop*..hmm, that's weird. They didn't pass when I ran them. Maybe, because of the IDE I used earlier.
Well, looks like you get your 100.
Me: Thank you but which IDE did you ran it in that failed? Just wondering..🤔
Prof: Doesn't matter now...they're passing. Just be ready for your next project...you guys will be writing the test cases yourself this time..9 -
An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me
Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.
##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##
Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭28 -
When I left the house to work abroad my mom called me.
Mom: “every time you touch the computer things change!”
Me: “I haven’t touched it in months, what’s the problem?”
Mom: “my google has changed, please put it like before!”
The same phone call, day after day, I couldn’t figure what she meant and she was getting pissed off.
Then I realized, it was just the google doodle...6 -
CEO "If you make costs to build a home office for covid, please be aware that you can fully declare your bills, and you'll retain ownership over the ordered goods. Please all buy some good desk chairs and keyboards, so you can work ergonomically"
6 months later, CFO: "Bittersweet, why did you try to declare €35000? What are these invoices even? Concrete rebar?"
Me: "CEO told us to build a home office. I got permits from the town to dig a souterrain layer under my house. This is just for the foundation, the bills for drainage pumps, sheetpiling, geothermal heat exchangers, insulation, flooring, electricity and of course desk & chair will follow later"
CFO: 😳
(To be fair, I really did make those costs, but was just trolling by uploading all the material bills)15 -
You know who sucks at developing APIs?
Facebook.
I mean, how are so high paid guys with so great ideas manage to come up with apis THAT shitty?
Let's have a look. They took MVC and invented flux. It was so complicated that there were so many overhyped articles that stated "Flux is just X", "Flux is just Y", and exactly when Redux comes to the stage, flux is forgotten. Nobody uses it anymore.
They took declarative cursors and created Relay, but again, Apollo GraphQL comes and relay just goes away. When i tried just to get started with relay, it seemed so complicated that i just closed the tab. I mean, i get the idea, it's simple yet brilliant, but the api...
Immutable.js. Shitload of fuck. Explain WHY should i mess with shit like getIn(path: Iterable<string | number>): any and class List<T> { push(value: T): this }? Clojurescript offers Om, the React wrapper that works about three times faster! How is it even possible? Clojure's immutable data structures! They're even opensourced as standalone library, Mori js, and api is great! Just use it! Why reinvent the wheel?
It seems like when i just need to develop a simple react app, i should configure webpack (huge fuckload of work by itself) to get hot reload, modern es and jsx to work, then add redux, redux-saga, redux-thunk, react-redux and immutable.js, and if i just want my simple component to communicate with state, i need to define a component, a container, fucking mapStateToProps and mapDispatchToProps, and that's all just for "hello world" to pop out. And make sure you didn't forget to type that this.handler = this.handler.bind(this) for every handler function. Or use ev closure fucked up hack that requires just a bit more webpack tweaks. We haven't even started to communicate to the server! Fuck!
I bet there is savage ass overengineer sitting there at facebook, and he of course knows everything about how good api should look, and he also has huge ass ego and he just allowed to ban everything that he doesn't like. And he just bans everything with good simple api because it "isn't flexible enough".
"React is heavier than preact because we offer isomorphic multiple rendering targets", oh, how hard want i to slap your face, you fuckface. You know what i offered your mom and she agreed?
They even created create-react-app, but state management is still up to you. And react-boierplate is just too complicated.
When i need web app, i type "lein new re-frame", then "lein dev", and boom, live reload server started. No config. Every action is just (dispatch) away, works from any component. State subscription? (subscribe). Isolated side-effects? (reg-fx). Organize files as you want. File size? Around 30k, maybe 60 if you use some clojure libs.
If you don't care about massive market support, just use hyperapp. It's way simpler.
Dear developers, PLEASE, don't forget about api. Take it serious, it's very important. You may even design api first, and only then implement the actual logic. That's even better.
And facebook, sincerelly,
Fuck you.17 -
[Thursday afternoon on a call...]
Client: Before we get started, can you create a sitescape outlining all of the pages and sections of the new website?
Me: Sure! I'll go through the website and shoot you a full layout in xls format as soon as possible, that way you can easily make notes on what you want added, modified or removed.
[Two hours later...]
Client: Hey, did you build that sitescape yet?
Me: Actually, I've been on back-to-back calls with other clients.
Client: So when are you going to get it done?
Me: Well, I have to go through the current website in it's entirety, which I'm guessing is about 1,000 pages. I have to determine which pages work fine on their own, which need to be combined for better presentation and which should be removed due to redundancy. That's something that is tedious and takes some time to complete. That, in combination with having an existing work queue that I need to fit you within and being at the end of the work week, we're looking at Tuesday morning to have it ready.
Client: "Existing work queue"? This is ridiculous. We're paying you good money to make our project your only priority. If we wanted to wait days for work, we would have saved money and paid for a cheaper service. You're already gouging us as it is! If we don't get the sitescape by end of day Friday, we're going with another company.
Me: I would tell you that I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm not. I'm not going to feed you a line to make you happy. I'm also not going to work on my days off just to rush something out to you. You hired us because you wanted things done right, not quickly. Your current website is the result of not focusing on quality, but by how fast you can deliver it. We don't work that way. We only build quality products.
By rushing your project, not only do we alienate our current clients, affecting our reputation, but we build product of less than the highest quality. That will upset you because it isn't perfect, and it reflects poorly on us to use it in our portfolio.
If you want to hire someone to pump out this project to your unrealistic deadlines, be our guest. But you paid a 50% non-refundable deposit, so not only will you lose money, but your end product will suffer.
I'm going to let you sleep on this. If you decide tomorrow that another direction is the way to go, we wish you luck. But please understand that if we conclude our business, we will no longer make ourselves available for your needs.
Please find the attached contracts you have signed, acknowledging the non-refundable deposit, as well as the project timeline and scope, of which a "sitescape" was never originally mentioned or blocked out for time.
I hope that tomorrow we can move forward in a more professional manner.
[Next morning...]
Client: My apologies for yesterday. We're just very anxious to get this started.
-----
Don't let clients push you around. Make them sign a contract and enforce it whenever necessary.7 -
After spending a few months on this site, what strikes me the most, is how unhappy a lot of programmers are.
It kind of makes me sad to see so many of you struggle with office politics bullshit everyday.
I have a confession to make.
I've never had a programming job, or freelanced, yet I have made a very comfortable living with programming and marketing for the past 20 years.
I make my living by finding niches where there is shit software, and creating a better alarm clock.
The first 5-10 years of doing this, I worked my ass off (throughout my twenties)
But during most of my thirties, I barely had to
work to keep it all up. I get residual income still
from stuff I did 10 years ago.
I'm curious if anyone at all would be interested in learning how to do this, quitting their job, for example, or, just having the freedom to write your own code without answering to anybody but your own customers. Many of whom you never have to talk to, they go to your site, they buy, and rarely ever send emails (if you do it right)
Everybody here has knowledge that is so bankable, yet they seem to just surrender to
asshole bosses and clients. It doesn't have to
be like that.
If you'd be interested in this, please ++ this.
I'm thinking of creating an online course about creating and marketing your own software, specifically for programmers like you guys. and girls.
I genuinely just want to see if there's interest. I hope that's ok.63 -
*Interview*
Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?
Me: What is that I'll be doing?
I: What technologies and languages do you know?
Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?
I: Any experience working on frontend?
Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?
I: Can you work with databases?
Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?
I: Can you do big data processing?
Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?
I: Any experience in cloud development?
Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?
I: Do you know CI CD?
Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.
I: Yes. Go ahead.
Me: What will be my position?
I: A full stack developer.
Me: What technologies do you use in your project?
I: We use all the latest tech.
Me: Like?
I: All latest tech.
Me: You mentioned big data processing?
I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.
Me: what do you use for that?
I: Java.
Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?
I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.
Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?
I: Just to know if you're familiar.
Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?
I: Flash
Me: 🙄
I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.
I: Are you willing to join?
Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.5 -
Job interview goes really well. Senior Dev 90-100k.
Ok, so for your "test" write up a proposal for a web based bulk email sending system with its own admin panel for building list, tracking emails, and with reporting.
I write up an estimate. Low ball the absolute fuck out of it because I'm trying to get a job. Know a few good libraries I can use to save some time. Figure I can just use sendmail, or PHPMailer, or NodeMailer for the emailing, and DataTables Editor for a simple admin CRUD with reporting. Write the thing up. Tell them they can have it in LAMP or Node.
Come in at 36 hours.
Then these fucking wanks told me they wanted me to actually do the project.
My exact response was:
"I bill $50 an hour, let me know"
They did not let me know.
Young devs, jobless devs, desperate devs. I've seen a fair amount of this. And for the right job I might go as high as maybe 4 - 6 hours of unpaid work for some "programming test". But please be careful. There are those who will try to exploit lack of experience or desperation for free work.15 -
*deep breath*
Remain calm, don’t freak out, remain calm, don’t freak out.
*deep breath*
Ok, so my sort of new manager (had a slightly different manger-ish role on the team), has for the third time in as many months, just sent an email criticizing the dev team for our working from home-ness (which for the record has not been that bad, 2/3 or 3/3 have been in everyday for the past month)
In this same period, there has been late nights, weekends, successful releases, I’ve been invited to talk at a conference about my work (not a particularly big one, but still). Point is, everything is going well, very well in fact.
There has been no emails discussing our great work, thanking us for extra work, thanking us for picking up slack from other teams who are down a few people etc. no our major concern it seems is the “optics” of our team not being present in the open space.
Our contracts list flexible working hours, and his boss has frequently told us WFH is fine when things are too busy. But no he is complaining for us to get our hours in the office in line and make sure we are in the office more.
It’s been a particularly long and frustrating week, and I’m very tempted to inform him that if he is concerned about my chair and desk looking empty, that I can put them somewhere for him where they will always be occupied until a surgeon can remove them.
However, thanks to the deep breaths, I’ve managed to restrain myself long enough to run this past you all first and ask advice.
Please help,
Sincerely,
My sanity15 -
Warning: This is going to be a long one!
Day 1: Fresh outta grad school. Joined a start-up in silicon valley (50% lower pay than avg salary) . Moved to the bay area and rented a car to travel to work. First day, all excited, drive 35 miles to work.
It's a small company with just 5 people. Greeted by the CEO himself. Asks me to wait outside while he goes speaks with the project manager. In the meantime the office manager asks if I have a copy of my resume.
10 minutes later, the CEO walks out and tell me: "I'm sorry but I don't have a job for you at this time. Please come back after a month". Palms are sweaty, Knees weak, arms are heavy. I feel my heart skipping several beats. As an F1 student I immediately start thinking about my visa status.
I drive back home and try to think what I should do next. Then suddenly the CEO calls me back saying pls come back and we can work something out. I drive back and I'm offered a small spot on a round table with my colleagues. Everyone looks stressed out and sad.
Day 2: Work starts early since we need to collaborate with a team in India. I reach work at 6:00 am hoping my second day is better than the first. Couple minutes into the early morning meeting, the CEO flips out and screams: "I'm going to fucking fire everyone. This fucking thing is taking too long. Just get the fuck out already".
Day 547: I finally quit and joined another start-up :)10 -
// sorry, again a story not a rant
Category->type = 'Story';
Category->save();
Today at work I got a strange email
'about your msi laptop'
(Some background information, a few months ago I went on vacation and left my work laptop at home. Long story short some one broke in and stole my msi laptop)
So this email had my interest. I opened it and the content was something like:
Hi! My name is x, I clean/repair laptops partime and I noticed your personal information on this laptop, normally people whipe their data from their laptop before selling so this is just a double check, if the laptop was stolen please call me on xxx
If I hear nothing I'll assume its alright and will whipe your data
So of course I immediately called him, after a conversation I informed the police who is now working on the case7 -
Dear Chrome,
I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.
No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.
Your abusive friend,
-chappjc
17 -
Sister = bee ( who isn't a stranger to Ubuntu)
Me = Cee
Bee: can I use your laptop?
Cee : why ? Use yours ,it's works fine.
Bee : no I want to use yours and I need to work with windows.
Cee: 🤯
Bee : my work can only be done using windows.
Cee : fine do whatever ( doesn't want to argue )
* Le bee opens MS word, and starts her work *
Cee : 😤😤Seriously?
Bee : I don't like libre
Cee : 😑😑😑^∞
* Few moments later *
Bee : my work is done ,you can have your laptop,btw it's updating.
Cee : 😑😑😑😑😑
* 2000 years later *
*Opens Ubuntu *
*Getting a weird bug*
*Tried to fix *
*Can't open OS files * 👏👏👏🎆
* Windows not shutdown properly *
* Opens windows *
* Not able to login via pin *
* Password ? not accepted *
* Changes outlook password *
* Please chose a password you haven't chosen before *
* Logs in *
* types old pin to change pin *
*You've entered wrong pin too many times *
*System hanging a lot *
* Removes pin *
* Gets huge mcAfee restart system popups , every 10 sec *
* Just shutdown , feels irritated for the rest of the day*
* Regrets dual booting, shd have wiped the windows partition 😫😫*
*Wonders,what the hell did my sister even do to my laptop ?*72 -
Our teacher wanted to show us a video in class so she opened Internet explorer (windows 7) used bing to search for the video and clicked on the link.
The video didn't work and instead there was an error message saying 'Your browser is too old, please use a more modern browser, for example mozilla firefox'
She looked at the error message for around 30 seconds like it had just told her that it is gonna explode in a minute. After some time one of my friends asked if she needed help. Here is what happened:
F: do you need any help?
T: No (very serious voice)
Teacher shuts down computer, stands up, looks at our class angrily and says in a very serious voice:
T: you broke the computer although you aren't allowed to touch it!
Me: mother of god...5 -
Seven months ago:
===============
Project Manager: - "Guys, we need to make this brand new ProjectX, here are the specs. What do you think?"
Bored Old Lead: - "I was going to resign this week but you've convinced me, this is a challenge, I never worked with this stack, I'm staying! I'll gladly play with this framework I never used before, it seems to work with this libA I can use here and this libB that I can use here! Such fun!"
Project Manager: - "Awesome! I'm counting on you!"
Six months ago:
====================
Cprn: - "So this part you asked me to implement is tons of work due to the way you're using libA. I really don't think we need it here. We could use a more common approach."
Bored Old Lead: - "No, I already rewrote parts of libB to work with libA, we're keeping it. Just do what's needed."
Cprn: - "Really? Oh, I see. It solves this one issue I'm having at least. Did you push the changes upstream?"
Bored Old Lead: - "No, nobody uses it like that, people don't need it."
Cprn: - "Wait... What? Then why did you even *think* about using those two libs together? It makes no sense."
Bored Old Lead: - "Come on, it's a challenge! Read it! Understand it! It'll make you a better coder!"
Four months ago:
==============
Cprn: - "That version of the framework you used is loosing support next month. We really should update."
Bored Old Lead: - "Yeah, we can't. I changed some core framework mechanics and the patches won't work with the new version. I'd have to rewrite these."
Cprn: - "Please do?"
Bored Old Lead: - "Nah, it's a waste of time! We're not updating!"
Three months ago:
===============
Bored Old Lead: - "The code you committed doesn't pass the tests."
Cprn: - "I just run it on my working copy and everything passes."
Bored Old Lead: - "Doesn't work on mine."
Cprn: - "Let me take a look... Ah! Here you go! You've misused these two options in the framework config for your dev environment."
Bored Old Lead: - "No, I had to hack them like that to work with libB."
Cprn: - "But the new framework version already brings everything we need from libB. We could just update and drop it."
Bored Old Lead: - "No! Can't update, remember?"
Last Friday:
=========
Bored Old Lead: - "You need to rewrite these tests. They work really slow. Two hours to pass all."
Cprn: - "What..? How come? I just run them on revision from this morning and all passed in a minute."
Bored Old Lead: - "Pull the changes and try again. I changed few input dataset objects and then copied results from error messages to assertions to make the tests pass and now it takes two hours. I've narrowed it to those weird tests here."
Cprn: - "Yeah, all of those use ORM. Maybe it's something with the model?"
Bored Old Lead: - "No, all is fine with the model. I was just there rewriting the way framework maps data types to accommodate for my new type that's really just an enum but I made it into a special custom object that needs special custom handling in the ORM. I haven't noticed any issues."
Cprn: - "What!? This makes *zero* sense! You're rewriting vendor code and expect everything to just work!? You're using libs that aren't designed to work together in production code because you wanted a challenge!?? And when everything blows up you're blaming my test code that you're feeding with incorrect dataset!??? See you on Monday, I'm going home! *door slam*"
Today:
=====
Project Manager: - "Cprn, Bored Old Lead left on Friday. He said he can't work with you. You're responsible for Project X now."24 -
We moved to a new office floor and got a brand new set up. My new extension monitor died just after 4 hours of use, it was showing a black screen a with couple of colourful lines running down the screen.
Got the IT guy to come and replace it. He says he must test it with a display cable even though the screen was dead without any input source. (Ok fine cbf arguing with you, just do it.)
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Realising I was right, he gave the ok for another guy to replace my monitor.
Second guy comes to my desk and realised he forgot the electric screwdriver. (Sigh, how long must I wait...) After he finally finished installing the new monitor he plugged the display cable into a random display port without looking.
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Since the monitor wasn't displaying anything, he jumped into asking me to restart my computer. I gave him "the wtf are you stupid face" and just said "NO". I looked over to where he plugged the cable and asked why he plugged into the "dp out" port.
I plugged the cable to the correct port and monitor was working.
Felt like I can do their job better without any experience in IT support.
PS. Don't play the "please restart your computer" card on me. I also work in technology.2 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you17 -
Ok, so I have a SAAS website where users pay a daily fee to use my platform as there fundraiser landing page.
A new client comes, asks for a discount, and got a 50% off because his brother was a previous client.
Him: Can you please add a list of the days of the year so a donor can donate a day?
Me: Sure, sounds like a good idea, and will probably take me about a week to implement with testing etc. And so I want $$ (hourly rate * one week) for the work.
Him: Don't bluff me I understand a bit in programming, it shouldn't take you more than an hour, and I am paying you, so you should do it for free.
Me: Ok, here is a fair deal, since you understand in programming, build it for me, I give you two weeks and I will pay you double what I am asking for.
Him: I don't understand enough to do it myself, I just estimated how much work it is.
Me: Forget about it, if you want me to build you this feature, you pay. If not you can go to my competition happily.
Who needs bad clients at all?
Why do they think they know everything?
And why don't they understand that time is money?5 -
If the below is you, please stop. I'm starting a revolution called #AnswerTheQuestion
A: Hey, just checked your code, you have a huge security issue in XYZ, you should really address that.
B: Oh god I had no idea, how do I fix it?
A: Well it depends on how you *want* to fix it, no one solution is always the right one.
B: ... Ok, well could you give me some advice?
A: Well, there are many ways to approach this kind of work, but all I can say is that this way, is definitely not the correct one.
B: ... Ok, well how would you do it?
A: That would depend on the customer requirements.
B: ... the requirements is to have a website that isn't easily hackable, what do I do?
A: Nowadays, its pretty hard to make a website completely not hackable.
B: ALL THE SERVERS ARE SHOWING RED, PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A: ........ you really shouldn't prejudge colours. The colour red doesn't always mean danger, depends purely on the use case.9 -
I usually don't work for indian clients. But when I do, they make sure I don't get paid.
Some highlights from my last project,
Client: Do you know ERPnext?
Me: No, but I am good at python.
Client: My boss wants me to find a guy who can create barcode generator for erpnext.
Me: I can use pyBarcode to do it.
This is exciting I thought. I get to learn a new framework. Start working on it. Not an hour passes by,
Client: hey can you remove this menu item?
Me: Which one?
Client: Also can you add the dashboard icons to left sidebar? Like Odoo? Do you know it? It is also python based.
Me: Then why don't you just use Odoo instead?
Client: My boss wants it. He doesn't understand computers. He is pissing mr off.
Me: Then how come he suggested erpnext?
Client: His friend told him.
*experience mindfuck*
For the next 3 days he has me working on these UI tweaks, never mentions barcode again.
But I finish the barcode stuff. Tripple check everything to make sure they work. Tell him to check so I can get paid. Guy asks his boss to check.
Boss > Client: It doesn't work
Me: What doesn't work?
Boss > Client: Everything!
Client: I actually tested everything and they work. My boss doesn't know how to use it. He is very old.
Makes me make more changes and finally when I ask for the work done so far,
Client: Boss didn't come to office today. I'll get you paid. Please try to understand my situation.
Me thinking, "mofo your boss didn't hire me,l. You did". But I keep calm and tell him I won't work until I get paid 50%.
3 days passed. No reply. Set his skype status to "Away" forever.
*spidey sense tells me I'm not getting paid, again*
U am beyond pissed and burnt out. I fucking wish there was a mafia I can request to collect my fucking money from them.20 -
"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."
-- "OK"
"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."
-- "Why? What's the issue?"
"The logic is complex. We should not break it."
-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."
There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.
If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.
If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.
If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.3 -
Alright, it's not perfect yet, only one post exists and the anonymous analytics are hardly working. Next to that I'm tired as fuck and need to go to bed so fuck it, here we go:
https://much-security.nl
There's not much yet, just one tiny post :)
I have no clue if it will work or crash but I think it'll handle well enough 😅
If you'd find any security issues, please don't exploit them, just report them and I'll take a look asap!
Thanks!44 -
Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.
Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.
F : But that's your job. No?
Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.
* Goes on to see the frontend *
I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.
Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.
F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!
Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!
Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*
Bastards!7 -
Me: Can you go to that page and see if the issue is fixed?
Colleague: if I go there it breaks things
Me: yes, it should be fixed now, can you please check it to make sure?
Colleague: but if I go there it will break things
Me: Can you just go to the page
Colleague: it broke something
Me: what did it break?
Colleague: I don't know
Me: ...then how do you know it's broken
Colleague: because the gallery doesn't work
Me: WELL THEN THATS WHAT'S FUCKING BROKEN THEN ISN'T IT14 -
The following meeting occurred at a client between a recently added client PM and our team, we'll call her Shrilldesi, previously from one of the main consulting vendors.
*Meeting begins after 15 minutes of bullshitting, waiting for people to file in*
Shrilldesi: "Ok everyone, let's get started
TeamMember: "We're still waiting for Z and W, not sure why they're late."
SD: "We can start there. It was decided had to lay off Z and W, because we didn't have enough work."
Moi: "Wait, what. Who made that decision? Why weren't we consulted on this? We have another project starting next week that they were needed for. They just delivered the entire public facing rewrite, why would we let them go?!"
SD: "It was decided by myself, pajeet, and venkata looking at the backlog. Not enough work, week gap."
Moi: "This is going to hurt our ability to deliver the next phase. When are we going to start interviewing new people, the project begins next week?"
SD: "We will interview new resources as needed."
Moi: "Who is we? And 'as needed' is yesterday, or realistically several weeks ago as the. project. starts. next. week. Also, we're obligated by federal law to bring back anyone we lay off before we hire anyone else for the same position."
SD: "Interviews will be done by myself, Mohd, and Pajeet."
Moi: "...can I point out that there's only one modestly technical person in that group, they're an admin, and none of them are from this team? How do you conduct an engineering interview without any engineers?"
SD: "That does not matter, I have watched enough to be able to ask your questions."
Moi: *anger intensifies* "I have to respectfully disagree. I don't feel it's appropriate to cut us out of the process of interviewing our own team members."
SD: "It is decided, we will take care of it, let us move on. Next, we need to find work for the Manasa, she doesn't have anything to do."
Moi: *sharpens baseball bat* "...shouldn't we just fire her then?"
SD: "Oh that is so mean, why would we fire her? We were thinking she might be able to do some of my project management work."
Moi: *sharpening intensifies* "You do realize it's a violation of H1-B statutes for someone to be employed in work other than what is stated on their contract, and Project Managers are specifically listed as not specialized skillsets per federal law."
SD: *ignores question* "We also need to find work for the offshore team, they don't have enough to do. Please find them work for the next period."
Moi: *checks how long the wait period is for ar-15s*
SD: "We also have a new person rolling onto our team, he comes from the xyz team, Dikshit *gestures to person we all figured was lost*. He will be handling our front end development."
Moi: *seething hatred* "WE JUST LET TWO EXCELLENT FRONT END DEVELOPERS GO. WE DO NOT NEED DIKSHIT."
SD: "Please calm down. We will be replacing the other two shortly, there is no problem."
Moi: "Have you heard nothing I've said? Did you even run this by legal and HR? Why did we let them go in the first place? Why do we even need Dikshit?!"
SD: "I said it before, please listen. There is not enough work for them. Dikshit will do front end. What is unclear?"
Note: There's not really any dramatization here. It's almost verbatim what happened. Eventually, the next project was cancelled, they incrementally rolled the rest of the local team off. They then had the cojones to express aghast anger when I notified them I would not be renewing my contract, and open hatred when I explained to them I was not a slave, and I refused to be a bag holder for the inevitable failure of a project without any chance of success. I don't really care what happened after that, they can all burn in their own little nepotistic shitshow of perpetual failure.4 -
New job, started two months ago. Forced to use a MacBook. First time using iShit in my life.
- Laptop reboots randomly every three weeks or so "because of an error" (thanks, very informative error message).
- Sometimes if I use two screens and I lock my laptop, only one screen gets locked.
- The most simple tasks require a fucking large number of clicks. There are almost no keyboard shortcuts. My hand hurts because of this, and after two months the pain is getting worse and worse.
- Yes, I know there are apps that give you extra keyboard shortcuts, but those don't help much. I never used a mouse in 10 years.
- Window management sucks. It's so broken and poor in so many ways, I don't know where to start.
- Random errors and pop-ups are the norm.
- I have only four fucking USB Type C ports. I can somehow understand having only Type C because it looks cool, but fuck at least give me 6 of them, or 8. Do you really have to force me to use a USB hub, in addition to a shitload of adapters?
- Multiple monitors don't work unless the laptop is connected to the power adapter.
- The above point means, in practice, that I have exactly zero USB Type C ports available to me: one is used for the power adapter, two are for the two monitors, and one for the USB hub. Whenever I have to connect something that has Type C, I have to choose between monitors and going fuck myself.
- I don't want to comment on performance, cooling system or battery life. This would be a waste of time. Let's just say that it's shit.
Now, dear Apple fangirls and fanboys, please downvote this rant. I want your downvotes, so please don't hesitate to press that (--) button. But please let me say that these products are shit, pure shit. Fuck Apple and their overpriced products.31 -
I have a client (a friend of a friend of a friend) who came to me to build them a "simple" booking solution for their home cleaning business. Easy enough, I first thought.
Having taken a deposit based on my initial quote and contracts all signed, roll on exactly 8 months to where I find myself today.
It turns out, there is no cleaning business as the business will be totally reliant on the website. The original goalposts have now been moved to a completely different fucking country. The (now) required functionality has STILL yet to be finalised (I told client I'm not writing another line of code until EVERYTHING has been mapped out and made crystal clear), as every single face-to-face meeting / back and forth email turns into the client requesting hundreds more brilliant, essential features that make absolutely ZERO fucking sense. And now, to top it all off and push me into writing my first ever rant on here, I've just received an email from the client this morning saying "what I would like to have is like an online restaurant live booking system". WTF?!?!?
I work from home and have only my dog for company today, so please don't judge me. Just needed to let it all out.11 -
Modern software has gotten so bad that it even gets sluggish at times on late 2018 flagship devices. Slow, cheap hardware like is usually developers' and fanboys' excuse, particularly when it comes to Windows stuff? Like hell it is.
Software "engineering" has become so.. terribly inefficient. I'd dare any developer worth their salt to rewrite their program to make it work on an early 2000's machine. After all, those can run pretty advanced GUI's, have a reasonable amount of hardware (just think about how large a gigabyte of RAM really is) yet should be able to make for a reasonable limitation set.
Hardware limitations are the mother of optimization. Not every person on the planet has a 32-core Xeon workstation with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and a GTX Titan in it. Whether your application performs reasonably well on your machine shouldn't be the metric. Try deploying it on that laptop you tucked into a shelf years ago and reevaluate.. please.
And definitely you Slack!! Slacking off, is that what inspired the name of that pile of junk?! 😡26 -
Damn I hate when people ask me to stop coding just because Excel doesn't work or the Antivirus license expired, even worse my boss gets mad at me when I tell him that I'm a coder that we have tech support people, who apparently do nothing, to all the PMs and Lead Devs
Please stop telling me about the freaking deadline if you also ask me to install your stuff.
Sorry for the negativity, had to get it out12 -
I'm trying to sign up for insurance benefits at work.
Step 1: Trying to find the website link -- it's non-existent. I don't know where I found it, but I saved it in keepassxc so I wouldn't have to search again. Time wasted: 30 minutes.
Step 2: Trying to log in. Ostensibly, this uses my work account. It does not. Time wasted: 10 minutes.
Step 3: Creating an account. Username and Password requirements are stupid, and the page doesn't show all of them. The username must be /[A-Za-z0-9]{8,60}/. The maximum password length is VARCHAR(20), and must include upper/lower case, number, special symbol, etc. and cannot include "password", repeated charcters, your username, etc. There is also a (required!) hint with /[A-Za-z0-9 ]{8,60}/ validation. Want to type a sentence? better not use any punctuation!
I find it hilarious that both my username and password hint can be three times longer than my actual password -- and can contain the password. Such brilliant security.
My typical username is less than 8 characters. All of my typical password formats are >25 characters. Trying to figure out memorable credentials and figuring out the hidden complexity/validation requirements for all of these and the hint... Time wasted: 30 minutes.
Step 4: Post-login. The website, post-login, does not work in firefox. I assumed it was one of my many ad/tracker/header/etc. blockers, and systematically disabled every one of them. After enabling ad and tracker networks, more and more of the site loaded, but it always failed. After disabling bloody everything, the site still refused to work. Why? It was fetching deeply-nested markup, plus styling and javascript, encoded in xml, via api. And that xml wasn't valid xml (missing root element). The failure wasn't due to blocking a vitally-important ad or tracker (as apparently they're all vital and the site chain-loads them off one another before loading content), it's due to shoddy development and lack of testing. Matches the rest of the site perfectly. Anyway, I eventually managed to get the site to load in Safari, of all browsers, on a different computer. Time wasted: 40 minutes.
Step 5: Contact info. After getting the site to work, I clicked the [Enroll] button. "Please allow about 10 minutes to enroll," it says. I'm up to an hour and 50 minutes by now. The first thing it asks for is contact info, such as email, phone, address, etc. It gives me a warning next to phone, saying I'm not set up for notifications yet. I think that's great. I select "change" next to the email, and try to give it my work email. There are two "preferred" radio buttons, one next to "Work email," one next to "Personal email" -- but there is only one textbox. Fine, I select the "Work" preferred button, sign up for a faux-personal tutanota email for work, and type it in. The site complains that I selected "Work" but only entered a personal email. Seriously serious. Out of curiosity, I select the "change" next to the phone number, and see that it gives me four options (home, work, cell, personal?), but only one set of inputs -- next to personal. Yep. That's amazing. Time spent: 10 minutes.
Step 6: Ranting. I started going through the benefits, realized it would take an hour+ to add dependents, research the various options, pick which benefits I want, etc. I'm already up to two hours by now, so instead I decided to stop and rant about how ridiculous this entire thing is. While typing this up, the site (unsurprisingly) automatically logged me out. Fine, I'll just log in again... and get an error saying my credentials are invalid. Okay... I very carefully type them in again. error: invalid credentials. sajfkasdjf.
Step 7 is going to be: Try to figure out how to log in again. Ugh.
"Please allow about 10 minutes" it said. Where's that facepalm emoji?
But like, seriously. How does someone even build a website THIS bad?13 -
My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.
The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...
Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...
10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...
Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...
----- PM on holidays
Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)
I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D14 -
Dear son: when I ask you to stop using Netflix because I need all the network juice for a work-related call, please do close it or play a downloaded movie. Don't just turn the volume off...4
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Senior devs out there, please be supportive to juniors. Don't treat them bad just because they don't know as much as you do. Guide them and help them learn and grow as devs. That'll make your company (and/or the community) a better place to work at, because everyone will be a better dev, and you might learn and grow in the process as well.15
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Dear senior developer with xx years of development experience, please, I BEG OF YOU hear my humble unprofessional opinion.
Not every junior is a inexperienced low life.
Even though I'm glad that I'm working with someone of your wide skill set and expertise, I'm not working with you by choice nor it is my intention to distract or "steal" your knowledge.
When I suggested using a newer version of jQuery for this new project that didn't mean I'm challenging you to work on something new for your domain, I'm merely suggesting this change because jQuery 1.2 is just old and a big portion of it is deprecated.
When I suggest some changes on your CSS selectors that doesn't mean I'm acting out of place, it is my genuine interest of having effecient css where possible.
I know you (in your opinion) are the best full stack developer in the industry, but maaaan you kill me when you use js and regex to validate input type=email (table filp) ... Haalllloooo it's 2017 this Sunday aren't we supposed to progress instead of remaining in the same old same ?
RANT!!!10 -
Client: "the content is pretty confusing and inconsistent. Would you say the frontend is ready?"
Me:"please do not ask that way."
Client: "i just asked a question. What do you mean?"
Me: "well.. you basically say that is bad and then asked me if I thought it was bad."
Client:" i was asking a question. It is your problem if you find that offensive. You were to deliver a finished design until 3pm. "
Me:"you just reviewed it and came up with new input..and apart from that there were just some buttons in the wrong shade."
Client:"yes but I expect that kind of critical input from the developer. "
Me: "I understand, but this was a tiny project for 300 cash. I can't go all out on a budget like this. "
Client:"but all the other jobs I gave you lately were paid much better.."
Me: "yes. Those were other jobs, right? Should I feel obliged to work overtime I eager expectation of more and different work?"
Client: "you used to be more excitable...."
:/1 -
Four semesters in. As a class we’ve learned Java, SQL, HTML/CSS, JavaScript, C++, C#, and a small amount of PHP
We’ve built databases, websites, apps for phone and desktop, and we’ve toyed with game development in unity
We’ve used multiple IDE’s with differing pros and cons, virtual machines, server development stacks (XAMPP), data structures, and we’ve used multiple sorting algorithms to learn their differences.
Some things on here are immensely more difficult than others. If at 4 semesters in you still don’t know how to AT LEAST google your issues for 10 minutes or even READ THE DAMN BOOK, then please don’t bother asking TA’s for help we have our own assignments to do and can’t afford spend an hour working with you to fix your code while you just ignore our suggestions
Four semesters in you should know where to find help online and if that doesn’t work, how to ask for and accept help. If you can’t then I’m sorry. I’m going to spend my time helping others, before I waste my time trying to help you7 -
I'm pissed at my cousin who's studying IT at the moment. He wants to copy my thesis project(from 3 years ago) and make it his own for his thesis project this year. Like woah dude! Can't you be creative, work hard, and make a project of your own because that's for your own good? And don't you dare bring up the "I'm your cousin, pretty please"-card up! He also wants me to lie if his professor contacts me and tell that he was part of the project. Are you effin' kidding me? You didn't know how to code 3 years ago! How would you expect me to tell your prof that you were part of the team? I just gave him the documentation(without the source code) and I said I lost the apk. That's just how far I can go for someone like that 😕9
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Linux you are just the perfect OS in all terms but please do something for gamers. I cant keep on switching laptops for work and playing dota. Hell even the keyboard layout is like way different in both.21
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No, MD5 hash is not a safe way to store our users' passwords. I don't care if its been written in the past and still works. I've demonstrated how easy it is to reverse engineer and rainbow attack. I've told you your own password for the site! Now please let me fix it before someone else forces you to. We're too busy with other projects right now? Oh, ok then, I'll just be quiet and ignore our poor security. Whilst I'm busy getting on with my other work, could you figure out what we're gonna do with the tatters of our client's business (in which our company owns a stake) in the aftermath of the attack?7
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QA: When I open the app I get this strange error message that includes "No data connection could be established" near the start of it.
Me: I'll clean up how thats displayed, but the error means your phone doesn't have internet connection.
QA: No that can't be it, I do.
Me: You screenshot shows no WiFi or 3g / 4g symbols.
QA: No those are never there, please investigate.
Me: I have investigated and found that every other one of your screenshots had a WiFi or a 3g symbol. Example: <link>. Please check your connection and try again, i'll clean up the error display.
PM: Oh i've had an issue something like this before. We really need to show users an error screen. We can't just leave them on this screen with no error message at all.
Me: ... we have an error, thats what QA is complaining about, its not loading the text and displaying the error object.
Anyone else want to not pay attention and complain about something else that doesn't make sense? ... no? ... ok good, back to work then7 -
dear anyone looking to teach kids programming (especially organizations):
- please be realistic. teach things your students can use. how to debug, how to solve realistic, real-world problems. not how to make a turtle draw a circle, that's not programming.
- please don't have blocks. just don't. they hurt.
- focus on your content instead of putting up posters on the wall with celebrities talking about the importance of programming
- don't call it 'code,' call it 'program.' do you know how different muggles think they are?
- please teach in a logical order. too many times have I seen commands --> functions --> variables/variable types --> then back to functions and return types.
- don't set an appropriate "age" to do it. please. its enough for people to learn to program, but to be told they're too "old" for a course? I can't tell you how many forgetful seniors and special needs students have been insulted. and don't even get me started on being too young. knowledge is knowledge, skill is skill, ability is ability.
- teach concepts with programming. don't separate them. they work better when they're taught together.
- understanding is more important than style. for beginners, fuck style. all of your program could be all on one line for fucks sake. I've had teachers chose style > functionality, because, fuck working programs, right?
- let your content speak for itself. this is not the place for celebrity endorsements.
- give resources for after a lesson is complete. when a beginner is finished, recommend more resources. you're never done learning.
most of these were things code.org did wrong. fuck them. I was in a constructive criticism mood today…5 -
Been reading devrant posts for a month or so, this is my first actual post. I'm hoping it will be therapeutic. ☺️ I need something to keep me from killing my boss when I see him again tomorrow..
Some backstory: Currently working in HR for the last 7 or so years with complete shit for brains boss, even worse when it comes to anything related to technology. For almost two years I've been working to get another bachelor's degree. This time in computer sciences, to make a career switch to systems and software engineer. Last week I roughly had the following wonderful conversation:
Boss: we've needed new Recruitment software for a while now. Can't you make us one as a school project?
Me: 'Make us one?' It's not really that simple.. I'm barely halfway through my education, maybe I could do it, but it would take me quite a long time even if I could work on it fulltime.. Combining a halftime job with a fulltime education is taking up enough of my time as it is and I have more than enough school projects btw..
Boss: it would be a win-win. Work a little harder in your spare time and when you graduate you have a real-life project on your resume.
Me: I'm sorry, i'm failing to see the 'win' for me here.. I work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week on average, trying to combine work and studies. I'm pretty much maxed out..
Boss: Your coworker(also extreme dumbass) told me you wrote some quick code the other day that helped him out. Don't underestimate yourself, I'm sure you can do this.
Me(in complete disbelief by now): I wrote him an Excel-macro! They don't even teach me that at school. It's a very very very long way from actual software development! I'm sorry, it just can't be done.
Boss: Thats too bad. I expected you to welcome an opportunity like this and be more motivated towards this company..
Me: ***more disbelief and silence, just staring at him***
I'm sorry you feel that way.
***walked away***
WTF, I work my ass off for 7 years for this fucking shithead.. Even before I started this bachelors degree I had at least some understanding of the work developers put in their software. It blows my mind, no, it fucking angers me how people think making software is so simple.. Why do you think it's a 3-year education you fucking cunt?
Please, someone tell me how I can keep myself from ramming his fucking head through a wall tomorrow...6 -
[when starting out with web dev] Just use bootstrap!
Please don't. I teach web dev now, and when people learn a framework initially, they often get a warped and incomplete understanding of how things work. They spend their time learning the framework instead of learning the systems they're actually working with, and then when the want to do something the framework can't do, they're just at a loss.
Don't get me wrong, bootstrap and jquery and so on have their places, but those places aren't when you're just starting out.12 -
Interviewer: Here is the interview challenge. Tell me what the expected output is. You have 5 minutes.
** 100 line class with 4 async methods that contain if/thens nested 4 layers deep that call each other and log things to the console
Dev: Ok wow this is a bit of a maze to work through but I’ll try my best.
** 1 minute later of reading through the code
Interviewer: One minute has elapsed. There is now 4 minutes remaining.
Dev: Actually could you please not interject with time updates like that while I’m reading code? It makes the challenge harder than necessary. Just letting me know when the time is up would be fine.
Interviewer: Ok.
** ~2 minutes later trying to comb through this spaghetti mess
Interviewer: What do you think are you getting close to figuring it out?
Dev: …5 -
"I strive for code quality and maintainability. I actually do. And i will not work for a company that does not care about it and just wants something done as fast as possible.
The only time i will do something quick and dirty is if it's actually urgent. And even then with one condition - my next task will be to fix it properly.
I do not care about your deadlines. I will do my best to meet them, but not at the expense of code quality. I've seen too many projects fall into technical debt, where productivity is so low, that the only way to move forward is hire more people and start working on a project 2.0
And please do not lie about how great your company is, if it's not. These kind of things surface very soon, and you will have wasted both of our time, because as i said - i will not work for a company that does not care about code quality."
you think i'll ever get a job again if i put this on my CV ? :D10 -
A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...6 -
Typical Tuesday morning. Got word that a client was having trouble viewing a mp4 video, thats being used as a background element on their website, on their iphone.
No biggie, I think to myself.
An hour in Im praying to the safari Gods and cursing the existence of iOs (or however the hell you spell it).
While debugging I realise the browser gives up on downloading the video 2 seconds in, the same way I gave up watching that Netflix Neath note abomination, two seconds in.
So i quickly write up an ajax script forcing the browser to download the file before displaying it...F.I.G.J.A.M
But hold up 'webkitURL' is deprecated. Please use 'URL' instead ..dafuq ?
Okay okay I got this just use a work around for that ..aaand done.
Should be working right? Wrong (-_-)
Half an hour later searching stackoverflow like its the gospel and judgement is upon me and I found the solution..I found the solution, simple stupid solution that would make you wanna facepalm so hard that your great grandkids would have marks on their face.
Declare the MIME type in the bloody source tag in the html ... shoot me now
3 -
Yeah, if my so called "friends" can just stop making me feel guilty for staying in with my son instead of going out having beers in pretentious clubs, with music blasting at a billion decibels that we can't even have a decent conversation.
If you could just stop; that would be great.
I'm sorry I have to work. I'm sorry I can't leave my 6 year old alone in the house on a school night. I'm sorry I don't have an army of maids to look after him. I'm sorry I don't have personal drivers to take him to school. I'm sorry if your family or your wife's family is so fucking rich you're basically a kept man and now bored out of your wits.
Please, just fuck off with this toxic behavior. We are not in our 20s anymore.
Thank you.7 -
Jr: I'm having a problem with my environment, can you help me?
Me: Sure! Did you switch to the latest Ubuntu LTS
so that your environment matches the rest of the dev team like you were asked to do the last 3 times?
Jr: No, I like Windows better because linux is too complicated. Can you just figure out how my environment is suppose to work and than fix what I did wrong please?
Me: No. Let me know if you ever need help with the our standard dev environment. Good luck!24 -
I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?
So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.
The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.
Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.9 -
My study's logic every fucking time: (I'm a senior by the way)
Junior: Sir, could you help me out for a minute?
Teacher: I'm busy right now, please fill out the support request form and go ask one of the seniors (yeah, not even kidding)
Junior: Alright, hey dude, could you help me out maybe?
Me: yeah of course, just get your laptop and go sit here next to me!
Other Teacher: Hey you, leave the seniors alone, they've got their own work!
2 -
To that person who came here to weep about how his employees don’t want to work on weekends and how he’s gonna force them to and deleted his rant that was downvoted to oblivion:
Please re-evaluate your mindset. Today it’s just downvotes, tomorrow it’s your entire staff quitting and pressing charges.18 -
Client sent the printing company I work for right now, a fax with an image and a message like "Please print this 4 by 2.54 meters", guy I talked to feels really tempted to scan it in and then just print it lol5
-
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Okay.
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....12 -
Comment on a GitHub issue on one of my repos:
"Almond I posted this feature request last month, please start to work on it in your free time"
Dude, that's just made it a whole lot less likely I'll even give that feature request the time of day. Take your entitled arse attitude to the bank and pay me to do it if you care that much.
Also, free time?!?! Hahahaha.5 -
I was getting a freelancer job to do some backend work for a company in India that is working for a huge company in Saudi Arabia.
The customer in india was my primary contact, I wasn't allowed to talk to the guys in Saudi Arabia. My contact, we'll call him Aman, asks if i can do frontend too. I decline. Now what follows were 4 weeks of backend work during which Aman called me 10-15 times per day via skype to ask me how I was progressing, and if "insert spec here" was already done. He even called me in the middle of the night, well aware of the different time zones.
But in the end all the work is done, Aman is happy. I request payment.
Aman: We can't pay you yet, you didn't do the frontend!
Me: I'm not doing frontend.
Aman: It's just a few simple changes and then we're done.
Me: Gnnn, fuck it, what do you need?
Aman: Our customer would like the frontend to look better.
Me: Ok, so what exactly should look better?
Aman: All of it.
Me: Do you have any specs?
Aman: No just make it look more modern.
Me: So you want me to rework the whole frontend? That's not just a few simple changes...
Aman: How long would you need?
Me: I actually don't do that kind of work.
Aman: We pay you double your hourly rate if you do this and finish it fast.
(This is were I should have just said no... but the greed...)
Me: Ok, but it will take me about 3 weeks to do that.
Aman: OK.
Me: Do you have any preferences as to how it should look?
Aman: No, just surprise us.
(After this sentence I really should have gotten the hell out of Dodge)
After working 3 weeks changing over 20.000 lines of CSS and most of the HTML I present Aman with the changes.
Aman: No our customer doesn't like the changes. Can you make a different version?
Me: What doesn't he like, any specifics, coloring, styling of lists or the buttons?
Aman: He doesn't like the whole thing. Please make us another version.
Me: Ok, you are the customer, but it would really help if you give me some pointers as to how it should look like.
Aman: Just do your best.
Me: ..., ok, that's helpful.
2 weeks later...
Aman: No our customer liked the version before better. But could you make it look more modern.
Me: *Bangs head against wall repeatedly*
Me: What do you mean by modern?
Aman: It should look more modern, as a whole.
Me: Ok, I get that, but could you give me an example?
Aman: Sends me a screenshot of the overview screen with all the elements encircled and modern written beside them.
1 week later...
Aman: The customer has decided, he likes the original version best. Can you undo all the changes?
Me: Sure but that'll take like 1 hour.
Aman: Oh by the way we were asked by accounting why the price for this project was so high?
Me: *hugh* *gnn* what?
Aman: Well at the beginning, you estimated the backend and frontend work to be done in 4 weeks.
Me: The frontend was never part of the original estimate.
Aman: Can you do anything concerning your hourly rate, so that we can get back to the original pricing.
Me: *make a mental note to never work with an intermediary company in india again and cancels the job requesting the due payment*
Luckily I got paid the full amount but not before having another 10 Skype call with Aman...17 -
Backend: Sorry the fix we had isn't going to work. Turns out app is sending an "undelivered" status after you call the API where you claimed we had an issue. This is in fact the cause, please address it.
Me: We do not have an "undelivered" status anywhere in our codebase. We do not do this.
Backend: *CC product* turns out this issue is only affecting 0.1% of users, its very minimal. Lets push ahead with the release.
Product: Ok, lets go live.
Me: ... ... ... we all just gonna ignore that "undelivered" bullshit? ... ok ... very stable release, here we go.3 -
Why do so many people waste their time and their computers turning coal into heat? It really pisses me off.
Often I meet smart guys who are fairly decent coders and after what starts as an interesting conversation is instantly destroyed by cryptocurrency.
It is *exactly* like enjoying a discussion of the intriguing nuances of quantum chemistry only to have the guy say, "thats all cool, but how do you make meth?"
argh.
You want to use your decked out rig to make money? Fine. But please help us solve important problems instead of literally wasting electricity. Just google search "supercomputer physics" and you will find a thousand current problems requiring extremely fast computers for number crunching. All of them can make you more money than crypto and all of them help society at the same time.
We burn coal to make most of the electricity on this planet. Most coal stations burn around 20,000 tons of coal per day. The world burns about 250 tons of coal every *second*. This is converted into carbon dioxide. (coal = carbon, add two oxygens when you burn it, producing three times as much mass in CO2, which then goes out the smoke stack)
The big picture is this: currently we are forced to burn coal to make the world work. Turning off the boilers would result in an almost instant apocalyptic collapse of society. BUT, we don't need to burn it merely to produce waste heat in your video card array.
Please use your superpowers for good.
<end rant>16 -
After a long time just reading your posts, here's my first post:
Just for clarification: I'm studying electrical engineering in Germany. During your time at university, you have to work half a year as a intern to get some practical experience. So I'm in a position where I mainly have to say "yes" to work that is given to me. Also I'm working with a lot of PLC programmers, so I'm nearly the only one who programs non-PLC stuff at the department.
But now it's time for my rant (and also my most satisfying optimization ever). In the job interview for the internship, my task at the company was described as C# programmer. I only programmed C and Python before, but C# looked interesting and so I learned C# from ground up in the summer before the internship. I quite liked it and I was really happy on my first day of work. Then I was greeted with this message: "I know you are hired as C# programmer, but could you please look into this VBA program, it takes 55 seconds until it finishes its task and that's to slow". So I (midly angry because I had to do VBA and not C#) started the program and it was really horribly slow (it just created a table with certain contents from a very big imported symbol file). I then opened up the source code and immideately saw bad code. The guy who wrote it basically just clicked on the macro recording button and used the recorded mouse clicks in the source code. The code was like: Click on cell A1 -> copy cell A1 -> move to sheet XY -> click on cell A2 -> paste copied stuff and so on... I never 'programmed' in VBA before, so I used my knowledge of 'real' programming languages to do this task. After using some arrays and for-loops, which did not iterate over all the 1.000.000 unused cells after the last used one, the program took only 3 seconds after it finished the new table! Everybody was quite impressed, which led to much more VBA optimization... That was clearly not my goal haha :)9 -
Now seriously, WHAT THE FUCK???
Every single time I have to work with people from a particular country [you have one guess. Yepp, that's the one], I see A-FUCKING-LOOOOOOT of manual work?!?
"can you reboot the server?"
-"sure, let me help you, sir" <20 minutes later> "done"
"can you unlock my account?"
-"yes, just a moment sir" <20 minutes later> "please check now"
"can you restart this environment w/ 200 instances?"
-"yes sir, let me check" <6 hours later> "please check now"
"you've missed 18 containers"
-"oh okay sir, will restart them now" <2hours later> "please check now"
[I am already OoO]
why is it that every time I have to work with you guys I am the one who is automating shit. How come you never think of/do any automata? You are fucking technitians, you should know how. WHY DO YOU ENJOY CLICKING ALL-DAY-LONG????
I'm serious. Why??? I'm struggling to understand...22 -
So I just found out that my colleague who I often have to work with does not use a debugger to troubleshoot any bugs at all. Actually, he does not even run or test his code locally either with prints or something similar. He just commits java code directly on bitbucket, no source control, without making sure it compiles and then he runs a CI provided by devops that takes 4 freaking hours to run because he bloated that shit up somehow.
I suggested politely to help him find a more efficient approach and to use my hardware setups for speeding up his work because I assume it must be pretty painful to work with, but he just refused.
That and those "seniors" with 10 years Linux development XP in the embedded field who don't know basic commands like ls, cat and touch and code in notepad.
Fucking me, who the hell am I working with and can someone please end me?6 -
Boss: Client wants those stockphotos for the frontpage.
Me: ok. Please license them and let me know. I will upload them to the page.
Boss: How does that work then?
Me: you have to buy the five credit package. Here is the link...
Boss: (no response)
...few days later...
Boss: please remember to upload those images...
Me: well ok. Did you buy them?
Boss: isn't that your thing?
Me: I don't understand. You had all the info. You new where to buy them. You knew what images to buy since the client sent the preview versions. What do you need? ...and why didn't you tell me that you were waiting for my input? I was the last one to reply to this conversation.
Boss: i don't want to buy the wrong images.
Me: just buy the ones the client chose.
Boss: I don't want to look up the email he sent them in.
Me: I don't understand. I directly replied to that mail. It is in the same conversation.
Boss: ok.
...day later...
Boss sends me mail with images attached.
Boss: are those the right images?
Me: well yes. Those are the ones the client sent. I don't have more information than you.
(Me looking at the attachments and finding them in the smallest resolution available.)
Me: why did you download the images in the smallest resolution? It does not make any difference in price.
Boss: well I thought they were not needed in a bigger size.
Me: why do you make my options intentionally smaller? I am the guy doing frontend.
..please give me the login info for the stock account so I can download the images in a better resolution.8 -
That's actually something that happened fairly recently.. just that I didn't have the energy left at the time to write it down. That, or I got my ass too drunk to properly write anything.. not sure actually.
So on paper I'm unemployed, but I do spend some time still on pretty much voluntary work for HackingVision, along with a handful of other people.
At the time, we were just doing the usual chit-chat in the admin channel, me still sick in my bed (actually that means that I wasn't drunk but really tired for once.. amazing!) and catching up to what happened, but unable to do any useful work in this sick state. So, tablet, typing on glass, right. I didn't have any keyboard attached at the time.
One of the staff members (a wanketeer from India) apparently had an assignment in a few hours for which he needed to write a server application in Java. Now, performance issues aside, I figured.. well I've got quite a bit of experience with servers, as well as some with client-server protocols. So I got thinking.. mail servers, way too overengineered. Web servers.. well that could work, I've done some basic netcat webservers that just sent an HTTP 200 OK and the file, those worked fine.. although super basic of course. And then there's IRC, which I've actually talked to an InspIRCd server through telnet before (which by the way is pretty much the only thing that telnet is still useful for, something that was never its purpose, lol) and realized that that protocol is actually quite easy to develop around. That's why I like it so much over modern chat protocols like XMPP, MQTT and whatnot. So I recommended that he'd write a little IRC server in Java. Or even just a chatbot like I attempted to at the time, considering that that's - with a stretch of course - a sort-of server too.
His fucking response however, so goddamn fucking infuriating. "If the protocol is so easy, then please write me down how to implement it in Java."
Essentially do his fucking work for him. I don't know Java, but as a fucking HackingVision admin, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT HACKERS CAN'T STAND LAZY CUNTS THAT CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO GOOGLE SHIT!!! If I wanted to deal with cunts like that, I'd have opened the page inbox with all its Fb h4xx0ring questions, not the fucking admin chat!
And type it on a goddamn fucking piece of glass, while fucking sick?! Get your ass fucked by a bobs and vegana horny fuck from the untouchable caste, because that's where you fucking belong for expecting THAT from me, you fucking bhenchod.
But at least I didn't get my ass enraged like that to say that to him in the admin chat. Although that probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, to get his feet right back on the ground again.1 -
Why is there so much hate against QA in general??
I read tons of rants about how bad testers are... and as a dev who does a lot of QA work, IT SUCKS!
We (devs) have to accept that are work needs to be tested! Otherwise we want be successful with our products.
BUT the testers need to know the development business! They should be trained at the same level as the devs are.
BECAUSE if the mug on my desk is smarter than the tester it is not going to work!
If the tester has full access to all the technologies, environments and tools (and are capable of using it) he has the ability to HELP!
I THINK that testing should be more than just follow predefined steps and let a random tool generate a bugreport.
I am sure that some of you are lucky enough to work with highly skilled testers so please let them help18 -
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.10 -
If you write a tutorial or a book with code samples please take the time to ensure that (a) you cover everything that is needed to get your samples to work properly and (b) that your samples actually to work.
It is frustrating the bloody hell out of me typing your code character by character into my machine just to have my compiler screaming at me.
On that note: just wasted a week on rewriting a whole bloody library that was "broken" just to discover that the library works just fine but the freaking tutorial on the very page was faulty.5 -
Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.
- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!" -
Slack Boss: hey, could you check work of dev that is okey, we want this update fast.
Me: hey, just tell him to open PR and assign me, I will check and merge changes.
Slack notification: Dev: Hey, could you please merge Pull request on the project ?
Me thinking, hmm weird, I didn't get email.
Checking github, 0 pull request.
Me: hey, I don't see any pull request open, and when you make pr, just assign me I will merge it right away.
Dev: takes half a day
Dev: Makes pr and assign correctly me.
Dev on slack: HERE is PR open now @me.
I get 3 notification to see this PR, sure at least it is there.
I check this PR, 50 commits, X conflicts, cannot merge this.
Me: Hey, @dev please fix conflicts in your PR.
DEV: takes another 2 days to respond.
Boss in the meantime: hey, have you pushed those new changes ?
Me: I am waiting for conflicts to resolve.
Dev: I fixed the conflicts @me.
I check the PR conflicts are there.
Me: are you sure you pushed your changes @dev ? I don't see them resolved
Dev: takes another day and pushes changes to resolve conflicts.
Me: merges PR to master becaus he based it on master, I will sync the developer branch myself.
All good, everybody happy.
I write to dev: Next time base your changes on develop branch and resolve conflicts before making PR.
Two weeks later new PR From this dev.
Based on Master, conflicts everywhere.8 -
Oauth2 examples.
Seriously all examples I found use library that use library that use library to just build url encoded parameters like this
client_secret=foo&code=bar
Got me 5 hours to dig going trough couple of github repos with implementation to see that shit at the end.
Seriously people !!!
Start thinking before you write single line.
I don’t want to download 10 dependencies and 100MB+ just to send 2 requests with url encoded parameters.
It’s in every - literally every language.
I know you’re stupid but please just try to understand how things work instead of copy paste another stackoverflow and medium snippet.4 -
I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--
**Sorry. I should rephrase that**
I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.
It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--
--I digress.
There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...
But it has. It has taken 4 days.
FOUR. DAYS.
...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.
Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.
Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.
My commits are real low at this point guys.
Please boss man, just let me code...4 -
Never accept a deadline you think you can can make if you work really hard. Just to please a client.
-
Biggest distraction while working?
Management.
-> Get ticket to work on. Put an estimate and start working.
-> Management Guy #1: Hey could u please look into... this and that?
-> Management Guy #2: Hey could u please update me on (Old ticket that was fixed and updated on Jira but they would rather ask me in person).
-> Management Guy #3: Do you want to come outside for a smoke break, I know our last one was about half an hour ago but still, just 5 mins won't hurt your day.
-> Co-worker: Hey could you help with this task I am working on? I swear it won't take more than 5 mins. (It takes about an hour).
-> Miss my deadline for the ticket and get flamed for it by manager.
Okay, I didn't mean to say anything about co-workers as a distraction. It's very minimal.6 -
Please disregard. I just need to vent.
Being a manager is so fucking shit. This is not even about devs or tech specific only. Never become a manager.
Why? Because it’s about handling people and all the dumb shit they do. It’s all about knowing what people suck at and preventing that weakness from leaking into other areas. The amount of fucked up people on this earth means that you have to work with at least some of them, and that means putting up with their stupid ass list of super special requirements, that if they do not fulfill, will make them a shit worker. It’s not even an issue of technical skills.
You have the guys that are often late, because “they have depression”, but will complain that “companies don’t treat employees like adults”. Being on time for work is apparently very difficult. Which doesn’t generally matter in general for dev work, but it ends up affecting other things.
You have the completely socially inept idiots that make half the team hate them and try to avoid working with them, increasing problems and work for other people. Just because they’re socially stupid, have low or no empathy, or are incapable of not being insufferable to others.
You have the people that are so bad at estimating that they keep making up numbers instead of waiting to think for a few minutes and say “ not sure, I need to research and estimate that”.
You have the surprise absentee for dumb as fuck reasons like “my phone died lol sorry”. They never do anything to actually improve, it is just “sorry guys! Btw I will do jackshit about this”.
Or the ones whining about virtually everything, all the time. Wtf why do I have to be on scrum at 12 tomorrow?! Wtf why do I have to record the result of that customer call? Wtf why should I talk with XYZ?
And if you leave them alone, everything burns. They actually need someone to tell them “hey mate you need to improve that, shall we plan something to do so?”. I think managers are useless and unneeded when you have adults working, but it seems like most of the population is composed of children. It’s basically another form of daycare.
And you have to prepare shit around all of these constraints.
Then you have the one guy that reads the requirements, has common sense, and is inoffensive and can work like a normal adult human that needs no baby sitting. A ray of light on this shitshow.
I just want to go back to pure dev.22 -
Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!
I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!
GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!4 -
Normal day with some guy that worked at the company. the guy was in his 11 month when this happened. and this was just one of so many wtf moments with him.
Me: hey man, you're gotta work with some frontend stuff, we need you to run mysql(for the backend) and apache. so install mamp, is super easy to get that working.
Me: please just donwload the pkg from this link and click `next` until finish.
Dude: okay, will do
-- some 10 minutes later. --
Dude: hey man I got a problem
Me: Whaaaat? you shouldn't, that shit never gives problem, everyone(literally) have that installed in their macs
Dude: it's true, I got an error, it says: `mamp it's not compatible with osx` ...
Me: oh man, that's so strange, mamp is likely made just for osx(and windows), and also we got all the macs with at least 1 version behind the latest osx. :(
Dude: it's true. I need help with that
-- now I go to the guy's mac and see the `error` message --
Me: hey, this says nothing like being uncompatible man, this CLEARLY says that can't be opened for *reads the error for him* . man, don't make things up, at least try to translate the error and give me the exact information of your `error`.
Dude: ...
Me: man please... I know you have your issues with the language, I do too, a LOT, but I use google translator if I can't read the shit. I can't sit here with you as your translator. -___-
7 -
When new developers join in your team, please make a time and help them to get confidence with the project they will work on. Besides the project's documentation there is a human factor that can make the difference between a just another dev team and a great one.2
-
Manager: "Hi Almond, how is X going?"
Almond: "...I don't know, Bob is in charge of that."
Manager: "Ok. Do you know the status of Y at all?"
Almond: "Not sure, isn't that Bob's responsibility too?"
Manager: "Well, yeah, but I never seem to be able to get a good answer out of him. Find out on both fronts and let me know ASAP please"
...sure, I know how this goes. I'll stop all the dev work I'm doing, do your job for you, talk to the lazy bonehead that never bothers doing anything, report back that he's done sod all (or still "in a requirements gathering phase" as he puts it), be asked "why is he taking so long", have a bit more back and forth, then decide we'll just leave him be as actually trying to get him to do any work is going to be too much like hassle 😒6 -
So I just receieved a rude email from my client as candidates cannot register on his system. He is adamant that the system I built doesn't work........until he found out that candidates are silly and not reading notifications written in h1 with a font size of 33px that states "Please check your email to activate your account".......
FUCK SAKE READ PEOPLE.... READ!2 -
Client (on Tuesday): I was X features on my website before the weekend!
Me: Sure thing, I can do that. Just a reminder, my rates are $Y/hr and the changes won’t go up until I’ve been paid in full.
(Thursday morning)
Me: Here’s the changes you’ve requested on the test environment, please review. Also here’s the invoice for my work, as soon as that’s paid I can upload the changes.
Annnnnddd silence since then... I’m glad that I don’t have to count on just one client’s payment, but if you wanted before the weekend and I have it all set up, please don’t ghost me.2 -
Just to clarify thing, FaceID isn't the same tech as what we've had on Android.
In Android, it's based on image recognition. That's the reason it was so easy to bypass with a high resolution photograph.
In FaceID, it projects thousands of dots on your face and creates a depth inclusive map which is used for verification. That's the reason why it's supposed to work even if you have glasses on, etc
So please let's stop with the comparison11 -
Please allow me to share my thoughts since I can't totally outrage my frustration because we have this so-called fasting to control our anger towards a person we currently disagree with.
A letter from your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner to my young, chubby, smart and clever colleague:
Please do cooperate in times of live editing from the FTP since CTO is not and will never be going to appreciate version control since CTO is too tired for giving a shit and just want deliverables be delivered as fuck perfectly regardless of the resources that we have.
As you know, I tolerated you for not getting the freedom of live editing as what you've experienced from your previous team lead. All I ask of you is to get fresh file from FTP whenever we touch the same file because firstly, God knows how frustrating it is how your hard work is going to be replaced and be gone as much as I do. Secondly, I don't want you to experience how pain in the ass could this be in the long run, and lastly, I don't want any hard feelings to be wasted just because of this.
P.S. I'm too shy to send this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings and don't want to sound too seriouz and feel old. I also hope we share the same telepathic understanding so we can agree with each other.
Your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner,
xoxo ❤️
(thinking of stating my first name) 😂16 -
For the love of god, I spent 2,5 hours debugging why Minecraft from the windows store doesn't work...
The game just shows a red message telling you it didn't work.
I checked the logs, nothing just warnings
I re-installed the game, nothing, same error
Updated java and all parts of the store, nothing....
Obviously I had to install Something called the "xbox identity Provider"... You know... On a PC... For a distinctly PC game to work... Installed by the store... And the provider is also on the store... But it doesn't auto-install with the game
Ever since you migrated to the Microsoft Auth the login experience is awful (I ranted about that already)
How about you do the bare fucking Minimum of an User experience and Install the fucking dependencies when I re-installed something your fucking store??!!!
The fucking bare minimum that every package manager ever created fucking has as a basic requirement?! Are you kidding me?
Rename your fucking services so they make sense and please don't waste everyone's time by having both shitty logs and no dep management for your own apps... Fucks sake15 -
Complete and total rant:
You know what fucking confuses the holy fucking shit out of me? DESIGN
I have MAD respect for motherfuckers that spend their days tailoring shit away in CSS, writing custom animations and toggles in JS and ensuring that their HTML is pristine as fuck. I really do and in my opinion they should b getting mad props from everyone, because if they so decide to learn GOOD server side scripting then they are most definitely on their way to create some awesome functional and beautiful shit.
But...
I am not a designer by any means of it. And I know that shit is supposed to look good and work across a multitude of devices. Doing something like that takes me a couple of lines of code (granted, after hours of work that is) that may take a designer way less.
But why oh why do I see THOUSANDS of lines of CSS code for shit that does not take me half the amount of work that it takes other people?
Like seriously. I am trying to emulate the menu that university of Chicago uses(as an example for a lil design practice cuz i suck at it) and looking into their CSS I see thooooousands of lines of code to do something that I did in about two hundred.
So wtf man, do I suck so hard that I am missing some serious shit? wtf is happening? This confuses me, because in my mind it should take me just about as much work as it takes them right?
AGAIN MAD RESPECT FOR DESIGNERS -- If you are a designer reading this please tell me wtf is happening14 -
When it's 5AM, you had zero sleep and your deadline is in 3 hours: Oh loard my saviour php, please - PLEASE just let my peace of shit code work for once. *reloads page*
Error message appears. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK!3 -
Client tests app 100000 times, app works fine
Client tests app once, app doesn't work
Client sends email to everyone,
"Hey, @CodesNotHot, this app is not working at all! Can you please look at it right now!! This is URGENT!"
I test the app, it's working fine.
I just want to high five someone with a machete on the face right now.2 -
FR rant
Warning : Do not use devRant in the lavatory, especially the shower.
So i was browsing devRant in the lavatory like a normal human being (?) and saw a post super funny, laughed so hard, and dropped the phone. Now the bottom left of my phone doesnt work.
So i was browsing devRant in the lavatory like a normal human being (?), went inside a shower without noticing that i went into the shower, turned on the faucet without noticing that i turned in the faucet, and i was attacked by fierce water with the pressure level 10 (10 is the max). Then i found out my favorite snoopy t shirt, which i wore just before coming into the lavatory, is wet. Completely. And water is dripping from my phone's charging port, but works flawlessly for 5 days.
So i was browsing devRant in the lavatory like a normal human being (?), writing this rant, and just because i feel tired, i moved a little bit and got my bottoms all wet which feels so bad...
So the final thing i would like to say is a feature request. Please check whether the user is in the shower or not. Lavatory is fine. But shower is not. You can use thr data retrieved from thw humidity sensor.
List of phones with humidity sensor : https://phonegg.com/list/...
Android sensor reference docs : https://developer.android.com/guide...9 -
Some people just lack so much independence, damnit!
Einmal mit Profis arbeiten ... ! (*) 😒
(*) German expression that expresses depending on tone or context a mild to severe frustration as well as the desire to work with qualified people just ... once?! Maybe?! Please?! Often used in IT and dev contexts, because - you know.12 -
*Breathes in and out*
WHO THE FUCKING FUCK MESSED WITH THE WLAN ON THE PI?!
WHY THE FLYING FUCK DOESNT wlan0 WORK WITH THE NEW STRETCH IMAGE?!
WHO THE FUCK PROGRAMMED
THIS SHIT OF AN IMAGE?!
EVEN THE SHUTDOWN ISNT WORKING PROPERLY!
I FUCKING LOVED THE OLD JESSIE ONE! OK!!
*Begins to smash head to table*
WHY THE FUUUUCK DOESNT THIS WORK!
PLEASE! FFS IT JUST WONT CONNECT!
*Head begins to bleed*
FUCK!!!
*Stops smashing head*
*Tried once again*
Huh, it takes Longer now...
Error...
FUCKING FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I HAD SO HIGH HOPES FOR THIS SHIT TO WORK! PLEASE RELIEVE ME OF THIS FUCKING BAD DREAM!
*Takes a Deep breath once again*
Shutdown -i
Error, another user is connected.
THIS CANT FUCKING BE! IM THE ONLY FUCKING USER ON THIS WIFI AND PI!
THIS SHIT MUST BE KIDDING ME!
AND NOW IT WONT SHUT DOWN!
*Realizes that I ran out of fucks to give*
OK...
IM NOT ONLY PULLING THE PLUG NOW, I WILL BE PULLING THE GODDAM FUSE OF MY ROOM!!
EVEN MY DUCKY DIDNT HELP ME!
THIS IS USELESS!
FUCK.
btw, there should be Raspberry Pi Capes.9 -
I'm at a pretty cool company today, learning new stack now. Everyone is helpfull and teaches me a lot.
I remember at my first job, when I just started, my boss sent me a MINIFIED .js file (just one file and nothing else) and said "it doesnt work, please fix this". After OBVIOUSLY not being able to fix it, at that moment, I started to doubt my choice to become a web dev.
I turned out to be pretty okay. But, fucking hell, thinking back, that "ex-boss" of mine could potentially influence my later career decisions and not in a good way.4 -
First day out of 10 exam days today! Have to use windows which I'm obviously not a fan of but oh well I'll manage.
But really, at first it didn't recognize my headphones (regular headphones input). Fair enough, after the admin fiddled around for half an hour we got it working.
*lets install Firefox and chrome*
The installers wouldn't launch at all, bit of fiddling around aaand it works.
*lets use Ms word again then*
Every time I try to save a file it gives shit tons of errors.
Found out that it does save but only with those errors.
*alright let's open up some pdf files*
"Error: no permission to use this application*
Oh come the fuck on just work I've got important stuff to do with a lot of time pressure!
I DON'T MIND USING IT ONCE IF I HAVE TO BUT COULD THAT COCK SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT JUST FUCKING WORK?!
The worst part, I wasn't the only one with trouble, multiple people still don't have the jackplug thing working :/1 -
Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).
This results in such joyous things like:
• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms2 -
Ok going to rant about other developers this time.
Can you please stop doing just the minimal amount of work on your games/apps?!
I understand you may not have the time to go through with a fine tooth comb but just delay it, delay it and finish the product to a state that doesn't feel half assed and broken right at the get go.
A small note that the thing that triggered me with this is Android Devs at the moment, with Google requiring you support the adaptive icons and a newer SDK, so many Devs are just scraping by and putting in no effort to bring things up to date (also put more effort into adaptive icons rather than just putting your old square Icon on a white background)
This shit is just leading to everything being 'early access' or in a constant 'beta' stage with the promise of polish later.
Don't be that guy, put the extra few days of polish in... Just please...19 -
Been working with Git every day for the last 3 years and never had a problem with it.
Enters Windows.Stash changes, tries a simple stash apply:
error: cannot stat *file_name*: Permission denied
Please tell me you are fucking kidding me.. I did not just fucking lose all that work..
:q life5 -
Recruiter: Hey you have Java experience, right?
Me: Uhm, yeah, but I have a job...
Recruiter: I have here a three month contract at £200 a day and...
Me: I already have a job.
Recruiter: What? Paying this much, I think not.
Me: Well, no, but it's a full time role and I just bought a house, so I'm not going to jeopardize my financial stability. I mean what happens at the end of the three months, I'm basically unemployed!
Recruiter: We might have other roles available then.
Me: You MIGHT have roles... Excuse me, but do you think I am an idiot? What lunatic in their right mind would quit a stable full time role, for a short term contract with no guarantee of subsequent work?
Recruiter: Well... They do pay well for Java devs...
Me: Yeah, please delete my file...4 -
I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.
Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.
I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
😕7 -
After 1 week working on a screen (design, logic, testing) my boss comes to me saying that what I've been work won't be necessary any longer and I should discard it.
1 month later asks for that same stuff and I tell him (jus like he said I should do) that I discarded the code.
Starts calling me names and how useless I am (this was normal).
So I pick up my stuff and just get out while saying: "please, if you are so damn good, you can do that shit yourself, I quit!"
Was there for 1 miserable year and that was my best choice I made till today.
Right now the company closed cause all the devs ended up leaving him6 -
When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(
-
2018 dev goal #1: ✔️
This week I learned Python 3, as in most of the syntax. Not yet any development, but that will come tomorrow onwards.
Oh, and I hate the funky type system, which is almost non existent and so flexible that I don't know if it's just bad or I simply don't see why I should want it this way.
Please enlighten me why you think Python is great or just plain snake crap.
Did I mention snake case being common practice? And that Python doesn't know real private properties, methods, etc.? How does that work?
17 -
FUCK, I just realized something..
A lot of people are probably aware of the statement "Respect is earned, not demanded/given".
Now, if you are aware of the meme "Press F to *pay respect*", you probably know where this goes.
The statements "pay respect" and "respect is earned" are actually connected. Just like money, you pay money to people who deserve it. You work hard for it.
But if this is true, is "attention" also earned? I often hear "Please pay attention" from my teachers back then.
This is some big brain shit right here8 -
Man the senior dev where I work produces the most half baked shit solutions but I guess management loves em because he produces results.
Like Holy fuck this whole place just has a raging hard on for Microsoft products. Plus management won't spend any money on dealing with any of the tech debt and our prod solution is just to erect more monoliths.
Someone please end my suffering5 -
Devs: Can we please get adequate hardware to do our job correctly? Please, just a new set of larger monitors.
Lower management: Sure, this is going to be easy.
Upper management: Wait what? This will cost us around 500€ times 10? Any maybe in the end other departments will want that to, so make it times 100.
We're a 4+ billion company ... but yes, please, I love scroll bars and they make my work so much faster.4 -
Hi all, first rant.
I work on an app on the Shopify platform, which requires me to look at the front end of people’s Shopify stores about half the day.
Can we PLEASE get the Shopify devs together and convince them to put a hard limit on the number of pop ups and slide ins and modal apps a single store can have running??? When a user (or app developer) can’t click on a product to buy it (or test installation) because ‘spin the wheel’ and ‘join the mailing list’ and ‘Karen in Ohio just bought a toaster’ won’t stop popping into the view, your UX is shit.
I realize people could still actually go in and build these things into their store code - but I’m willing to bet VERY few would.
Thanks - rant over.2 -
I just realized with this pandemic it's better to live in a dirt-cheap country, in a house you own, have a second hand car, work as a dev from home, become good with tools in your spare time, grow your own food in the garden.
Fuck this impossible system with it's promises of finding a cure and it's high pay but high taxes and expensive rent for living in a shitty rented apartment with no friends around, nothing to do than watch YouTube and play video games and be depressed half the time, then die because of lack of phisical activity.
I used to think countries that had good infrastructure were the best. Now public transportation is the worst idea around here, since no one wears masks and pretends all is well.
This is actually a decision I need to take next week. If you believe things will "get back to normal" please give me your input as it is valuable to me.28 -
Need to send a mail to a more senior member of the team. Could use a hand translating the below into something more work appropriate.
"You have reached a new level of wrong, you insufferable prick, please just shut up and leave"11 -
While working on generic enterprise code: querying databases, calling third-party APIs and just passing data around, I'm thinking: "PLEASE LET ME DO SOME THINKING, LET ME WORK ON SOME HARD ALGORITHM OR SOMETHING!"
When finally working on 'some hard algorithm or something', I'm thinking: "ARGH! MY HEAD ACHES! GIVE ME RELEASE! LET ME WORK ON SOME MINDLESS ENTERPRISE CODE!"1 -
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
So, 9months ago my scrum master came to me and asked me to spearhead a "little" API... 2months work, no worries... I started the analysis and quickly discovered that that estimation was grossly understimated...
I convinced them that it was not 3 months but 4. I alerted to the design mistakes that were made, I pushed changes and made sure the entire project worked, was stable and the best it could be... 4 months passed, target proposition donne... Several change requests since then and we have been implementing braindead CR after CR for 5 months... Most CRs came from design issued I raised but we're ignored at the time just to come back and bite them on the ass...
Horrible design, bad documentation, amateur requirements analysis... However, delivered successfully with great acceptance...
What was my reward? They rearranged my team, removing virtually every good performer.
Never did I receive a "good work" or a "thank you"... I don't want one, I am just doing my job... However can you please not fuck me in the ass!? I now have 2 projects to spearhead at the same time and virtually no team... I can only handle so much!!!
Some good news? Ok, just announced I'm the project owner of a new project, that we will take advantage and make a 2 in one.... Great! Some more work for my lap! Thank you for the workload raise!... Ok, timewise? One month! And I still don't if that includes implementation....
TL DR; did my job, got fucked with more work...
Sorry for the vent, just wandering if I should try and not do my job...2 -
Not dev, but IT...
Just found out that one section of my place of work still uses floppy disks. No I’m not fucking kidding. The other sad part? We still have the outdated computers to read them. 😩😂
Please, send help or a job application...5 -
I needed a new laptop to work/study and found a suitable one on Lenovo's website...
25th of july :
- "your order has been placed... blablabla.. it will take approximately from 1 to 2 weeks to prepare and 3-5 days shipping.."
- hum... Ok.. seems long to just put RAM and SSD inside my laptop but alright..
31st of july :
- "unfortunately your order has been delayed, the new shipping date is estimated for August, 14"
- Fuck ! Ill be patient then.. hopefully it'll be ready earlier than that..
10th of August :
- "unfortunately your order has been delayed, the new shipping date is estimated for september, 7"
- WHAT THE FU.. ?!? YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT 8 FUCKING GIGS OF RAM AND AN SSD PLEASE TELL ME ?!? IS IT A JOKE OR WHAT ?! I FLY ABROAD THE 17TH OF SEPTEMBER YOU BETTER SHIP MY LAPTOP IN TIME !!
I'm really mad now and thinking of cancelling the order.. I might have no time to test the laptop before flying.. FUCK !!4 -
!dev rant, but dev company rant (if that makes sense)
<sarcasm>
I love my company's HR, she is such a wonderful and caring woman.
</sarcasm>
<rant>
'Breng' (a public transit company in the Netherlands) was on strike today, so I couldn't go to work. No problem I thought, I'll just work from home. So I send a screenshot to the HR where you could see that every train was canceled.
A few moments later I get a message back saying that I should wait for the next train (although you could see on the screenshot that said train was also canceled)
Now I finally have a train to go to work... After sitting an hour in the cold... And I already see the smile on her face when I arrive at work...
</rant>
<prayer>
Please trains keep driving so I can go home tonight...
</prayer>13 -
I have just done my manicures yesterday evening. And, it's so nice to look at when you have your nails done from my point of view, especially when coding. So much view and can really boost self esteem, lets you smile, and motivated to work though I don't usually love Mondays because yeah, another manic Monday.
I just so love my manicures today, despite the allergies that I still have, the enhancement code that has not yet been deployed by our ever loving, supreme, Grandmaster turd, let's just name him, John Doe.
P.S. please not be easily removed manicures. For you are the only source of my happiness and my motivation to go to work (because bills is too mainstream and will always be the classy reason also)3 -
Nope, definitely not going to work for that customer anymore. Fuck this shit. At least for this week.
My background: mid-30 years old, some kind of business & IT consultant / lead dev working for a mid sized CRM consulting company, with approx 15 years of experience in development and software architecture, most of the time "thinking" in C#, still learning new languages, being a cloud evangelist and team lead. We usually have customers with customers (B2B/B2C).
Personality type "campaigner" (ENFP-A).
Today the project lead of my client (a big corporation in the energy industry) told me that he still didn't order all the necessary resources for the cloud project. Just to be clear: He's on the client side. We (the architects, one internal and me) told him one month ago what we need for the beginning. Just a few things - an Azure subscription, a license for the CRM platform, and our dev tools.
And now let's guess when the project is planned to begin? Yeah, right: 1st of April. NO APRIL'S FOOL. And guess what? Next Tuesday we'll do the onboarding for the new (external) devs, and NOTHING will be ready. Yeah, just let us build stuff in our minds, and on the whiteboards, because it's an AGILE project, right? We don't need any systems and tools...
And now he sent me the questionnaires which need to be answered before any cloud service can be ordered by the corporate IT. And yes, he didn't answer a single thing, and just meant "Those are architecture questions" (they are not) and (of course) "please provide the answers until Monday morning, so we can FINALLY order the services."
Yeah, you fucktard. Of course it's MY FAULT now. Maybe I should write an email to your boss asking how we can speed things up a little bit...3 -
!Rant
Fun fact:
The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.
No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵5 -
online coding exams.
Ask me how to do a rest api, ask me how to do a certain visual in the website, ask me how to setup a docker service running grafana, please just ask me something about the actual job.
Dont ask me to create some mind game that was ambiguously phrased in a timed hackerrank question that expects me to write runnable solutions that pass all test cases.
I have way too much work to play around with hackerrank for weeks so i prepare for your useless test3 -
!shortRant
You all complaining about shit code from coworkers and about fucking WordPress. Looks different, but know what? Answer is the same.
Money.
Let me explain.
For example, you were born in USA. You can choose any profession, and if you became pro - you will be payed great. Looks nice, isn't it?
But if you were born in Russia, India, somewhere in Africa, whatever, you can be businessman, coder or you can suck a dick to the end of you life.
Not that great, yeah?
You are looking around and see great people with their own dreams and talents. But then you ask them "to which faculty are you going?" Answer is obvious. And that's how shitcoders are born.
And yeah, about WordPress. I'm mobile developer, I just can't understand how awful it is (or not, idunno). The only thing I know - if I were PHP developer, I could earn twice more than now. But why I didn't choose that way? Because I REALLY LOVE MY WORK. Everyday is good, I'm working at weekends often, because I want.
So please, shut up. You could never work with WordPress, but you motherfucker CHOOSE IT. You could switch to node, go, Java. Why the flying fuck you didn't? Oh yeah, MONEY. So please, shut up.
Devrant isn't for crying girls complaining about shit they did themselves. (No sexism, just metaphor, sorry girls)10 -
That one fucking time my text editor so damn high, that it choose to encode my file utf-8 BOM.
I was using Notepad++ because I thought it would just provide a good syntax highlighting, without stabbing me in the back
Seemingly nothing wrong with the code, but it took me, a friend and two teacher almost half an hour to figure out why the css simply wasn't work, even though it was clearly used and worker as intended when embeded in the file.
This was some years ago, so please don't judge me for my editor of choice at that time
Other than that, i simply suck at css and gladly use css frameworks 😅8 -
Sometimes I hate it to be a "computer-guy". There is this one beautiful girl, I see her everyday in the train, but I just can't talk to her. I hate myself for not just saying " Hi" or whatever. I'd love to "just say something", but it doesn't work! Why the fuck am I thinking this much?!
Any tips? From dev to dev? Please?!33 -
Me: You provided the wrong credentials for AWS. That’s why it won’t work. Please provide updated ones using document I emailed you last month.
Client: I forgot how to do that. Will you be free tonight after 9pm?
Me:.....
Yes. This really just happened. No. I am not doing it unless they pay hourly. -
I feel so stressed at work right now.
QA signed off on a fix I made, I signed off on a fix I made, and other people signed off on the fix, but it gets out to production and people find it's broken, I get the finger pointed at me.
It's really stressing me out, especially when our client needs custom logic to make their use cases work, and the BE and FE are scrambling to make it work.
It's really affecting the way I work and I don't know what to do. I talked to my boss and he just tells me to "stay positive". Someone please help me.11 -
Dear IT troll: I am not some idiot user. I FUCKING WRITE SOFTWARE! I actually CREATE CAPABILITY! I don't create "content", I'm not some fucking suit that pumps out PowerPoint/Excel/Email all day long. I don't need to be handed a consumers screwdriver, hammer, and wrench set. I need to be able to set up the technological equivalent of MY OWN FUCKING FORGE AND ANVIL! Do you get it? Do you understand me? Give me administrator access and go the fuck away. While you're at it, please quarantine this pile of silicon onto a limited access network if it makes you feel better. My development system doesn't need to connect to the wealth of bullshit in your precious little dumbed down corporate Wiki-wannabe Sharepoint system. Keep my creative space away from Test and Prod networks while you're at it. Just give me the goddamed tools I need to do my work and fuck off!8
-
FUCKING IE!
Anyone please remember to ask if the project|s that you're going to work on do|es need Internet Explorer support.
If it's the case just expect any resemblance of modern frontend development skills go backwards into the backward compatibility territory and never going forward.
I'll start looking for another job, can't be bothered for this payment and regressing my dev skills for client needs.
Again FUCK YOU IE!6 -
I have been commenting a lot recently on linux ranters who rant about windows for stupid reasons.
To all these people who think linux is better and they are smart(er) than windows users, i say:
We use windows in the company I work for. And if you are a linux user, you're just not welcome and your skills are just a waste for the company. And yes it is a successful company with 100s of millions of euros as net revenue.
Our users have windows machines and we offer topnotch Microsoft solutions for them.
When you ask me to switch to linux because of a problem i had in a Windows machine, it makes me feel that you are a stupid person who knows about linux and gives solutions based on his stupidity and on zero knowledge of the scenario.
Please be professional and think about the solution you are offering. It would be best if you did not offer any solution at all in fact.13 -
So... Today I started using my first Python web framework, web2py. At a first glance I liked it, the templating system, the view/controller thing ecc. But there is one thing in frameworks that I really don't like: they make me feel dumb.
I mean, in just one line of code I can generate an entire form, but if I wanna customize it a little bit... I can't. Or better, it is very hard, also if there is a bug, I have to look for a problem in an entire system that I DID NOT wrote.
I don't like the idea that the frameworksl handles everything for you, like it is teasing me, I don't even know how it works, it just works, and man, I don't like it. There's some kind of hacker in me, I dont like a system that just works, I want to know how it works. But the sad thing is that I will have to learn web frameworks if I want to work in the IT, right? Please If you can help me or share your experience with web frameworks do so.3 -
'nother "teacher" story here.
Little background knowledge: I'm repeating the things he told us about at home and try to learn them by myself. I use the newest Visual studio and .NET framework version.
In school we have pretty old PC's and even older .NET framework. But let this insanity begin...
As normally i entered my classroom a little late (I have a dangerous habit of ignoring my alarms) and sat down on my chair. We were only 3 people including me at that moment so everything was pretty chill. I ask him what our task was and something along these lines occurred:
Me: what's our task?
Teacher: you remember your shopping list program? I want a textbox in it next to the listview and I want it to show every listview item
Me: that doesn't make sense
Teacher: yadda yadda just do it
Me: kaaaaay, anything else?
Teacher: actually yes! Please use inheritance.
Me: *baffeld* that doesn't make any sense at all. We have 5 different fruits; you tell me i should make a class per fruit!?
Teacher: yes of course! This is how professionals do it all the time. Please give them a distinct attribute, too.
Me: *angry* I'm. Not. Gonna. Do. This. This is total bullshit and also really bad coding style. I'm not going to teach myself something that doesn't make sense at all.
(Note: i know how inheritance works and he knows that too)
Teacher: You have to do it, you won't be prepared for final exams otherwise!
Me: leave my exam prep to me. I won't do this.
Teacher: *grumbles* fine
Later that very same lesson i got a .NET compatibility error. I couldn't work because I wasn't allowed to change anything on the installation nor to install a newer framework. So basically he told me I should've used 'sharpdevelopment' (which is not able to do windows Forms, but hey who cares) and this would not have happened. I was so furious at that moment i just took all my stuff, told him that I work 'from a place where i got decent software and space to think' and left the room.
Why did this person decide to become a programming teacher?7 -
OK people, I don't need a novel written for every line of code, but PLEASE STOP trying to tell me that "yOuR coDe sHouLd bE sELf dOcUmeNtiNg aNd cOmMenTs mEaN iT's aUtoMaTiCaLLy bAd". That's a bunch of BS. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've saved my own butt by dropping a "this call can't be awaited; causes the library's internal API to throw an error" comment in my C#, or a "can't use double quotes here; doesn't work right for some reason" line in my JavaScript. Sometimes there are very good but un-obvious reasons why something was done a certain way, even though it looks like it could be done better. And don't try to tell me "the tests will catch it". Let's be realistic here, nobody has 100% test coverage on any project that's much more than "Hello World". And even if the tests DID catch it, why waste the time when you could just write a comment?
P.S.: This is not directed at anyone on here specifically. It's directed at all the devs I've met IRL and the comments I've seen on SO, who think that comments must be bad.12 -
Boss: Let's hire a new person to help us recreate our website
Us: sounds good!
Boss doesn't hire anyone and starts the website on his own
Boss: I started the new website. It's in server X and the address is test.y.com. I also want all of us to work on it
Me thinking: great he just wants us to modify the hosted files like he does 🙄
Me: I'll move a copy to GitHub for version control.
Boss: Great!
Boss creates a backup folder on the same computer and folder path that the hosted files are on.
Someone please nuke that server so my boss learns version control like I've asked before. I think I'll opt not to work on a website where he and my other co-workers will just overwrite each other's changes because he doesn't want to learn to git 😑4 -
sales-managers: How long do you need to implement feature X ?
software-dev: Hmmm, that's nothing we have in our default-packages ... could be nasty, because it won't work without feature Y, which also does not exist in the current version 3 of our system.
I need to investigate this issue.
... 2 days later:
software-dev: This is really a nasty problem - to make X work, we've to reimplement Y for our system version 3, but this won't work with feature Z.
If we do this, it may take several weeks.
sales-manager: we need to go live in 2 months.
software-dev: might work.
------
1 week before go-live:
sales-manager: The customer saw us testing feature X. He does not like it. Could we just do it in ... blabla ... this way?
software-dev: This would work out of the box with feature Z, yes - we've to remove feature Y and X for that. But be warned - this might work next week without testing only.
sales-mamanger: do it now!
day of go live:
The customer tried the new feature X - it won't work.
software-dev: But it's not there, was removed, instead he has to use feature Z.
...
sales-guy comes back: He does not like it.
software-dev: why not? its working!
sales-guy: Yes, but he still wants it to work like feature X as he ordered.
software-dev: according to the specs, its exactly what he ordered. look at that: (showing the general specifications of project, showing feature Z).
...
sales-guy: The customer did not review this new document since last week.... Its still feature X
...
dev: really? why? I sent that version to you the day, he said, he doesn't like feature X, and you said I've to change that just urgently.
sales-guy: Please switch back to the version with X of last week. - could you. please ?
me: This won't work, because the other colleagues already finished their stuff on that currently running system - we'll lose all the optimations we've done to make this and other stuff work.
----- FAIL ------- NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SIGNATURE OF THE CUSTOMER !!!
One week onsite and rescheduled go-live is just so-what expensive.
Today (some weeks later) ... I saw someone else sitting in sales-guys office.1 -
Hey guys, I've hit a major snag in my dev life.
My backend/frontend Java project has hit a wall as the material I was using from Udemy on advanced Java programming was boiling down to copy and paste programming without the learning. That doesn't really work for someone with 2 years programming experience but only a good 2 months of Java knowledge. I need to learn not just follow along what's written on a screen. Thankfully I learned to give in about 2 weeks in so I didn't waste a ton of time on it.
Would books be a better option? I self taught C++ mainly from books and preferred that over videos, but when I did C# videos were mostly better than books.
And...I guess I'll open the floodgates to recommendations for other stacks. I like Java and I'd like to keep using it but I know you don't want to get married to a way of doing things. My end goal is to make an E-commerce website that I can show off in interviews about a year from now.
Please be kind, I'm feeling a bit like crap right now. :(
7 -
I made a bit of a tradition of building a list of hardware that's superior to whatever Crapple is releasing whenever Crapple releases something - and for the first time, I decided to make it public instead of just sharing it with some coworkers.
Making it public however took some time (luckily, yesterday was a holiday here, so I got it done now) - at least, making it looking "not like shit" took some time.
So enjoy my (very basic) bootstrap templated, yet possibly useful list of builds superior to the Crapple Rag Mini (which is a completely fictional entity not resembling any existing company in the world. Promise. Totally. Penguin's swear.)
The list can be found here - expect to see an update anytime Crapple pushes new shit to the market:
http://il-pinguino.com/superiortocr...
(possibly not safe for work, children, catholics and SJWs). Yeah, no SSL cert, currently. Hell, it's a private server, it doesn't process any of your info and it doesn't offer downloads... I might add one in the future.
I hope you can forgive my shameless self-promotion, it's not a commercial site, there are no ads/shitcoin miners on it and i don't get a share/cut/whatever - just a small humorous joke project. For now.
BTW: I didn't attempt to build any of those. It should work, but please don't sue me if it doesn't.5 -
I see a lot of rants on this platform complaining about their boss/management.
About how they don't understand how complicated the development can be of seemingly simple tasks or how they would prefer small estimations over realistic ones.
Is that really the standard in this field of work?
Am I just that lucky to find basically the ideal boss on my first try?
My boss really understands how difficult some tasks can be even if they don't initially seem like it. He listens to my ideas as if they are at least just as important as his own. He can almost think like a real developer and is prepared to give us all tools we could want to evolve.
It is a very small firm and I'm basically the only real developer on this project, but I would follow that man to the ends of the earth.
Can some people please clear my conscience and confirm there are still good managers in this field who really care about their project and their employees/colleagues?6 -
macOS facts:
- Darwin core is open-source (https://github.com/apple/darwin-xnu). Not the case with Windows.
- You can use macOS without using any Apple online service like Apple ID, FaceTime or iCloud. Terminal will still work without restrictions, and any app can be installed manually. It's totally different from Google services on Android, without which most of the apps won't work at all.
- macOS updates are trivially to disable. It's a matter of unchecking "Update this mac automatically" checkbox in software update settings. Not the case with Windows, Windows updates are universally hated among developers for intentionally complex UI and update services being very hard to disable.
- Almost every feature or default behavior you dislike can be trivially disabled with one console command. Features won't re-enable automatically like I heard update service does in Windows. The only feature I dislike that I wasn't able to disable was a notification about unsafely unplugging a USB flash drive.
- Out of the box, you get a sophisticated disk manager that allows all kinds of manipulation on drives, just like what you get in Ubuntu.
- Just like on smartphones, you can trivially restrict or provide access to certain features like camera, microphone, etc. on app to app basis. I don't know how to easily do it in Linux, let alone in Windows.
- Apart from mastodons like GIMP, I find open source apps for macOS to have better UI than their Linux alternatives.
- Objective-See offers useful FOSS apps for macOS, they help with privacy and malware detection: https://objective-see.com/products....
I don't want to start a fight. Please, abstain from commenting on one OS being better / worse than the other. Please, don't comment on Mac computers being better / worse than computers of some other vendor. I'm very confused now because of my Dunning-Krueger thing (read my previous rants), so I just want to present the facts about macOS that I think deserve more exposure.27 -
Some customers are nice.
Ive been working with a customer to enable a feature in the database. It was tough, because the escalation from support was your standard 'Customer wants apples in the T-1000, please do the needful'. After several emails back and forth we reach an agreement about what needs to be done.
This is something I'm sure can't be done. I test it in my local install, yep, confirmed that's normal behaviour. The customer, however, is stalwart - he's suggesting changes to the database that would potentially give him what he needs. I figure if he's going to this much effort, I'll confirm with our product specialist to see if there's a way around it.
Five minutes later I'm emailing the customer with an apology as I have unwittingly never known of, or committed to memory, the existence of a distinctly non-hidden check box that enables this exact function. I pass this box several times a week at least, and I've worked on this software for two and a half years. Never have I needed to use it, so my brain just processed it as background imagery.
The customer just responded with the kindest email absolving me of my sins, thanking me for my humbleness and for my time.
I want him to have more problems so I can work with him more.2 -
>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still
>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed
Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal
Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.
I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.
And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.1 -
Is it just me or is it really fuckin amazing when ur teacher tells you after a year that you are a better programmer than he is 😒 even tho ur just a beginner?
I just started learning to code and i was already better at it than the person who is supposed to teach me... which is great if you ask me #sarcasm
And when we finish a simple task on if statements - which he thought was gonna take us a whole hour - in like 5 minutes, he doesnt let us work on our own programs: "Can you close that? Its not related to the lesson"
Ffs man! 😤 Am i supposed to sit here for an hour just staring into the void, doing fuck all, while i could actually improve my skills?
Then you go home and learn more in two hours than you'll ever do throughout the following 3 years in school.... 😧
If this is not a complete waste of time then i have no fucking clue what is.
GCSE Computer Science sucks (at least in my school). Is there anyone out there with similar issues or is it just our lucky bunch?
My advice to young/beginner programmers:
If you really want to learn, please just google what ur interested in and use stackoverflow6 -
If you expect someone to help you with your errors/bugs, at least get some proper logs and explain what you tried that didn't work. Don't just spam them with pictures of errors or "something is wrong. Please fix".
I've seen people taking pics of their monitors. Half the code is eligible due to the glare -_-. At least take the effort of posting your code somewhere and sharing a link. GitHub would be the best go IMO3 -
After years of only breaking even or low profitability BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE CHEAPSKATES WHO THINK WHAT I DO IS EASY AND SHOULD BE FREE OR $5 OR WHATEVER AND FRIENDS I DID WORK FOR FOR FREE TOTALLY ABANDONED OUR FRIENDSHIP AFTERWARDS FOR STUPID MISUNDERSTANDINGS ON THEIR PART I closed down my web dev business and now focus only on full time employment. I don’t even do sites for friends anymore.
But did that stop people who before wanted to haggle prices from now BEGGING me to go back into business or to help their referral or to please-pretty-please just help them with one more problem?
Nnnnnnope!
And even now I hate disappointing people and telling them no even though I know they’ll have tiny budgets and will stall and delay and not deliver content or make decisions so I can finish and GET PAID.
WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?! AND WHERE WERE ALL THESE OPPORTUNITIES WHEN FEWER PEOPLE WERE INTERESTED IN MY SERVICES?!5 -
!rant
Freelance web developers: please talk about yourselves.
How much experience did you have at the beginning?
How did you get started and was it much work to get set up?
How do you find a constant stream of clients?
Do you make a living wage just from your freelance work?
Any other information you'd like to share is appreciated.18 -
Today during a follow-up meeting of the grand project I'm workng on...
TL: ... and I want to start working on the production environment and have it ready by next month.
Me: (interrupts) hold up! We are not ready, we have a huge backlog of technical tasks that need to be addressed and we are still not in possession of the very crucial business and functional requirements that you are supposed to provide. The acceptation environment is just set up on infra perspective but does not have anything running yet! The API we depend on is still not ready because you keep adding change tasks to it. We have a mountain of work to do to even get to a first release to integration yet and there is still the estimations on data loads and systems... your dream will not be possible until at least Q2 of 2024.
TL: stop being so negative @neatnerdprime and try to be more customer friendly. I want it by the end of the next month.
Me: remember what I said to you about moving prematurely. Remember I don't take any responsibility if things break because you rush the project. Please, reconsider!
TL: I just want it, please do it
FUCK YOU YOU SORRY EXCUSE OF A PEOPLE PERSON KNOWING JACK SHIT AND JUST LICKING THE MIDDLE MANAGEMENT ASSHOLE TO RECEIVE ATTABOY PETS ON YOUR UGLY ASS BALD HEAD AND CROOKED TEETH. YOU SHOULD FUCKING DIE IN A FURNACE AND LEAVE NO TRACE BEHIND.4 -
A message to designers and developers:
please please please stop being so touchy about your designs/software. The final work is meant to be used/enjoyed by end users, customers, clients, young people, old people, disabled people, short attention span people, irrational people, patient people etc. So if they say it's not good enough accept it go back and make it simpler (not necessarily better but simpler) and move on!!
Stop going into defence mode and start throwing your toys out the pram or giving people the silent treatment.
Sorry just been on the receiving end and boy is childish.1 -
Manifesto for class naming
Through my work as a professional developer, I have come to value:
ComponentMapper over ComponentMappingService
TransactionalSequencer over TransactionalSequencingService
PayrollCsvGenerator over PayrollCsvService
InternalTestRunCreator over InternalService
Please people, just call them what they are. Forget the noise words and fluff. To quote Morpheus:
“Stop trying to name me and NAME me” -
If you're not going to update your API documentation please just delete it. I spent two hours trying to use the example only to discover SECRET REST PARAMETERS that solved my problem.
If it weren't for the hero bitching in the comments about the missing documentation I would never have gotten this to work.2 -
Team Leader(TL): So you finished the sql scripts and stored procedures?
Me: Yep!
TL: And properly formatting the front end to look exactly how we want it.
Me: Yep
TL: Well we waiting on feedback from the boss so i guess you'll have to do the documentation.
Me: I hate documentation, please give me anything else
TL: It's not a lot dude, you can do it.
Me: Didn't one of the intern's and the database admin do it already?
TL: Yes. but you can take both of them and make one complete one.
Me: *You just don't want me to work on my own things you FUCKER* Fine, but don't expect it to be done this week.
TL: It's Tuesday, why not.
Me: Because i hate dcumentation
I FUCKEN. hate! documentation.4 -
Spent an hour and a half debugging why binders are not working on my Asp.Net project to end up finding out that my controller was missing:
[Route("[controller]")]
attribute at the beginning
Life is wonderful :)2 -
Reading IE rants on here and I'm confused.
If a client/boss asks to have something work in ie 8, for example, why can't you just say...
No.
"No, it'll waste a hundred hours in Dev time, costing you at least 5 grand or more. please have your users upgrade to the latest browser, it takes them five minutes."
Or am I just naive
Just... Why can't you say that.8 -
I don’t understand how Microsoft can continue to ship functionality in modern versions of SharePoint that only work on IE11 (open in Explorer, open in InfoPath, Skype presence integration). The only reason my company has to make web apps compatible with that browser is because of the hot garbage that is IE11. Just kill the functionality and kill the browser. Please.
Yes I know *why* they only work in IE11, it’s because activex is a massive security hole, but just kill the functionality if you can’t recreate it in modern browsers.1 -
No no no. That's it. Less than 2 years experience supposed to be leading a team of 12 soon to be 17 most of which have more experience than me! Been given sever admin responsibilities, training and managing 2 large frame works in addition to everything else I was doing before.
With the current set of projects we were given half the amount of time to do over twice the amount of work. Management seems to expect constant over time. And I keep being nagged by management to finish x,y,z. Every thing is high piority and I keep being asked to switch between tasks every hour or so nothing gets completed when this happens every time I make them aware this happens. The worse thing is that the CEO has a way of naming and shaming people who fall behind work infront of the entire company.
I have only been surviving thanks to a few saints in the team who just get on with the work without argument but now found out a bunch of these are moving to better companies!!!
I like helping people but with everything that is going on I can't find time to and I know at times I end up coming across inpatient with them that they don't deserve. But if you are part of a team please try and solve your issue yourself before asking others every half an hour there are too many of you and I need to get things done too.
And why is it so damn hot sitting at the desk sweating.
Ok I am prob on my meriod and being over the top grumpy. I want to find a new job but so tired in the evenings that I just want to collapse on my bed and do nothing. At end of writing this and feel a little better.2 -
Someone asked for help to solve some errors on an angular app.
Me: sure np, send me the repo link to see what is the issue.
She: *proceeds to send me a 250mb rar*
Me: what is that? I prefer the repo so I can see the history please
She: got me there, haven’t versioned yet
Me: WHAT? You’ve been working for three weeks without versioning anything?
She: yep, because I can’t make it work so, why would I?
I really ask myself sometimes if we are in this world just to suffer.19 -
There is no damn worldwide shortage of Cobol devs. There's a few localised, highly publicised cases where those devs are needed, those cases are diminishing fast, and that's about it.
Please stop touting this nonsense that everyone who learns Cobol can just drop into a job and make 6 figures. The only thing that's going to come out of this is a worldwide surplus of devs who learnt Cobol, and are now gobsmacked no-one wants to hire them to work in an antiquated language they have zero real-world experience in. -
I swear on the Almighty nature, I fucking hate Browser compatibility.
Passing php data via JSON encode. Works superfine on Firefox and Android mobile browser doesn't on Chrome. Fucking shit. Been sitting for 13 hours and gave up. FFuuuuuuck !!!!
Form submission via ajax and it again works on Firefox but doesn't on Chrome. I just can't understand, my mind is fucked by all the angels in heaven. Data gets submitted, the form is reset but the function called to refresh the JSON data doesn't work.
Someone please kill me or I swear I will fucking kill everybody.4 -
This will definetly be an unpopular rant but god damn it I hate to work with untreated depressed people. It's fucking nearly impossible to convince them to try out something new. They are always pessimistic or think that they know everything. They don't care about new things happening around them. Every time in work when we encounter some obstacle it looks like the world has ended for them and every god damn time I need to give pep talks to them like we are in some war and I feel like I need to inspire soldiers to fight even though they are 100% convinced that they will die.
Im done with being a therapist for them. I don't have unlimited amounts of tolerance and energy, I am a human also. I can't keep sugarcoating what I see and I can't continue walking like on eggshels just because somebody is too weak to even take a constructive criticism without becoming passive agressive for days or weeks. I realized that their negative pessimism has started to rub off on me and I think it's time to put an end to this.
Please if you have depression get some help, don't expect that new workplace or employer will motivate you enough to turn your life around. Don't expect that putting on a mask will actually hide who you are and that your condition will not impact others around you in work. Just stop pretending and get some actual help. Start from yourself.8 -
Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.
The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.
In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.
Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.6 -
So I finally decided to switch to Linux.
And I need help choosing distro.
I know this is not a good place to ask this, I could just use google. But I want to hear it from you guys, from actual devs whose work with it every day, and not from some ***** bloggers whose barely know what is OS.
So please just write which distro you are using and if you are happy with it. I will be very thankful.36 -
Obligatory subjective view from inexperienced eyes of a highschooler
I think it's evolving to be more beginner-friendly and more easily accessible. I'm seeing ppl roughly my age can program pretty well (ignoring the mandatory programming classes in highschool that stuff is just no (I know, we had this convo before but do hear me out, although it teaches fundamental programming in Pascal, the execution sucks ball because "mandatory")). I'm not saying we are on par with the in-industry devs, it's just we can code well enough to at least make decent small program/script.
With newer scripting languages that are easy to pick up and syntactically similar to English which is obviously Python, both objectively and subjectively, and its ability to be OOP without scaring first-timers of the what-the-blyn-is-this blank program (looking at you C#) people can be introduced to programming and programming concepts fairly easily and they can switch from Py to other languages with little to some hiccups, from my personal exp at least.
But then there's the "too much kiddies in the field" arguments I saw on dR (I think) a while back then when SO decided to better support newbies. To that, I can only say "Please give us a chance". We're completely oblivious to how the dev world work nor how you guys do your work so before you scold us on this, at least tell us how to work like you before you go on a 2-A4-page rant on how the industry is not as good as before and how it has degraded.
That leads to the problems of politics invading programming. We have it, I hate it, goddammit I wanna murder them. Linux CoC controversy is just...no. And then there's forced diversity in hiring (also ranted on dR a while back) and corporations pissing devs off to satisfy a minor group. I'll just shut up on this. No no no no no no no NO I'm not gonna. Not gonna.
Do correct me if I'm wrong though. I'm a less than a junior dev.2 -
We've recently employed a new lead dev that seems to have a problem in that his solution is always the correct solution.
On a typical day, whenever I push code up for review via pull request, every single ticket I work on, he has something that has to change which doubles the amount of time of each ticket.
I'd be fine with this if the other 2 developers also think he's a bit of a headache in terms of his opinion but a lot of the time, there is always.. ALWAYS something that has to change because his method is better than mine.
For example, just now I pushed up some code that literally just adds in the user's email to the view which is already in the store for that action/effect anyway. I added one line of HTML.
He comments saying that I need to change the way it gets the email by doing a different request in the effect, to get the current user id, and from that match it against the email address, and THEN display it in the view.
This ticket took me 5 minutes. He's making me make it 30-60 minutes (to understand his requirement and implement it).
Is this normal? Am I over reacting?
Opinions please!7 -
any fucker who has written code for the indian ewaybill portal needs to be fucking assassinated. couldn't even get a simple aspx login page to work. motherfuckers.
They just display a message that if we are having troubles we should try clearing our cache.
Like for fucks sake build it properly. This is the main source of income for this fucking nation, probably.
- the password reset doesn't work.
- the userid reset doesn't work.
- sometimes i show up as not registered. i just fucking transacted yesterday you buffoons.
- there is an error alert, that says "error". i god fucking know there is an error. please fucking tell how may we please your ass to bypass those fucking errors 😭.
fuck every developer that works for that portal 😤. Good for nothings.
thanks for creating devrant, dfox and trogus. feels better now 😌.7 -
Hey guys i made an online stock market simulator. It won't work but I just want the feed back of the game's frontend. I used Vue.js 2. Please give your feedback in the feedback tab inside the game. I used the templates from creative Tim. Link for the game http://dalalbull.deeaarbee.tech14
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Scenario after sending a build to QA:
(Monday)
Me: How's the build? did that app worked?
.
.
.
.
.
(here come's friday)
QA: The app didnt work on this part and there some bugs there, and please add this another module.
Me: okay ill fix that..when do you need it?
QA: today
Me: (just kill me)3 -
This little game took me like 2h of development, it's build without any framework whatsoever.
It is based on my memory of a very old game my brothers used to play on DOS, it was used to teach how to type superfast
Little details on how this works: the inputs at the bottom are programmed to be used with keys (only letters), ENTER and TAB, no need to use mouse in this game to move around, just hit tab to move to next, hit enter to confirm what you typed.
I know I should upgrade this to use a list of actual words instead of just random letters, but never wanted to actually work on it again.
http://examcopy.altervista.org/apps...
I highly recommend trying it on a PC, also contains Ads, not invasive, tho
Other games I developed:
http://stefagna.altervista.org/swis...
http://examcopy.altervista.org/apps...
Note: PLEASE, DON'T GO TO THE HOMEPAGE OF THESE WEBSITES, they're kind of NSFW
4 -
I have a project idea:
Web app that will automatically generate random like-a-facebook project ideas that will handle the buisness side and automatically post that offer on multiple forums, linkedin and send email with it. All using AI, Nural Networks, Big Data and VR.
Seriously, once fucking more some african or indian guy messages me to work for his awesome "its like a facebook but different" idea where he needs "just backend, frontend and mobile apps" and that he will just "handle the rest" and that "have no money now but after I sign a NDA he will give me some shares", I am gonna find him and shit on his head. Monday did not even ended yet and I already read 9 "offers" like this on my mail and facebook, only one guy white, rest indians or africans.
Why are then people suprised that we consider black and indian devs as a fucking joke 90% of the time. I have a indian dev friend and he could not find a dev job for 2 months, because everyone would rather work with less skilled asian / white guy than indian / black guy. This is not about racism, but about those retards that are acting like idiots. Hope I did not offend anyone (unless you do shit like this, then, please just smash your keyboard over your head).
Words like AI and neural networks are used just to lure the investors to our gofundme campain and steal their money after 2 years of silence.1 -
Update: for those of you who know cougar woman/ my self proclaimed "work mom" in my previous posts (bitch who keeps stealing my lunch), yesterday she really tipped me over the edge. So I'm fucking hauling ass on my sprint work because I had to take over another team member's tasks (because he "doesn't have time" for it being prod support but all I see him doing is shitposting at his desk) and someone from another team asked the cougar a question about something. she comes up to me all demanding like "HEY you, you got the worksapce open?"
I was like um... no I don't. I'm working on the other application.
and then she's like "Look at my laptop and show him". Okay bitch let me just drop everything I'm doing to help a random person. The fact that she commanded me instead of just asking me pissed me off. Not even a single sign of "please". I'm tired of her truly. She is a snake. Even to her friend on our team. Every time he's out she's like "hey where is _____? huh why isn't he here??? hmmm" in an instigating way to remind everyone that he might've taken off for no reason. When I was too sick to volunteer at an event she organized in the morning on Saturday, she asked me the following Monday, "oh did you drink too much? lmao. a spiteful, grudge holding bitch for sure3 -
How many boring monotonous corporate meetings, leading to no helpful conclusion or action item, is too many in a day?
Jesus please I just want to work!!!9 -
“I’ve tried everything, it won’t work. I HAVE to do it this __insert-stupid-dev-fuckery-here__ way”
Hmmmm 🤔 ok have you tried getting down on your hands and knees and walking around like a little piggy begging daddy to rough you up and put you in a pen?!? Because that’s what your gonna need to do for me to forgive you. Please please please just try to THINK about it before you do ANYTHING6 -
I just mistakenly replaced 48 hours of work with the old files... I think i'm gonna die. Someone please help me if you can.7
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var manual = '.... use chrome...';
User: "Hey this thing is broken, can you fix it?"
Me: "Works just fine for me, what browser are you using?"
User: "Edge, why?"
..... god I hate browsers.... rtfm bitch.. make my life easier please?...
Sometimes I wish I only did back end work...9 -
I once had a manager who demanded I physically print all of the Kanban cards and tape them to the office whiteboard. I was told to move the cards across the board after they were moved in TFS. I still had to keep up with my other duties in the QA department too!
Despite that, I still stayed on board with the company (the pay was good, and the work was simple.) As a QA teeter, I uncovered a rather nasty security vulnerability that would have put all of our customers data at reach to anybody. I advised my manager, and was told - just ignore it and ship the code please. I refused.
I was threatened with being fired, verbally assaulted, and challenged at the most trivial ways in everything I did after that.
Jokes on him now. I work from home in my dream job, doing what I love, with a manager who actually gives a rats ass about my concerns.
Moral of the story here - you don't have to agree with your subordinates , but you do need to validate their concerns.4 -
So there is this social institute I invested three years in.
Left them a record budget to play with. After being chair person for two years before and even administrating the whole 1900 of em.
Turns out they're FRICKIN' MORONS!
Instead of welcoming constructive criticism
/* which is because they can not read one single line of simple text without a fidget spinner at hand. And the second line of text, they ask their meds being upgraded! */.
They start fucking people up by spreading lies publicly!
On the fakken Web!
In so called protocols
/* which they don't manage to spellcheck before publishing. As freaking "devs" they major in */.
Just because I told them, that another institution which is conjoined to them within the universities senate, DOES NOT STAND IN COMPETITION!
They don't get it.
Is it that difficult?
Downvote if it is.
And please help me with those worm infested no brainers marrying in circles.
Its incredible how much you can achieve in some years and still so many people stay ignorant enough to start spewing their verbal vomit all over the campus thus fist fucked professors reign in, because "muh truth! no development. just money, I like money. muh moving student, not like it! not like work!".
What the hell is going on in this society?!4 -
So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!1
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I'm sure this has been ranted about before because I can hardly be the only one.
Android development and the upgrade dance.
Things were worse in the bad old days of eclipse but it's not like they're peachy now, either. Android is one of many platforms I'm developing for - c++ back-end, running on lots of different platforms through a thin bit of platform specific glue.
That's all I care about - that this thin bit of glue just works. I want to write this stuff, forget about it and get on with solving what I feel are real problems, for me, in my code.
The trouble is, I'm never finished writing this and android is one of the worst. With every revision change, google changes *something*. New build system? Why not, you indie developers have *loads* of time and resources to waste on that, don't you? Some weird thing just stops working for no apparent reason? You guys love to drop whatever it was you were working on to figure out what the hell ' android.app.Instrumentation' does and why it can't talk to my main class any more, or why I even need it but nothing in that error message about what I might do to fix this arcane random error.
Google have all the resources in the world, I do not. Yet I have to dance for them, every time I upgrade.
Can you guys please funnel some of your practically infinite resources in to making this stuff 'just work'? -
So I thought I knew source tree, apparently I do not... Lost a week's worth of work, went to history, saw someone removed it with a commit, and now I'm getting blamed for my own work 'disappearing'. The reason I am being told I am to blame is how I control my branches... So how I do it is that I keep a local copy of the master branch, I keep it updated and monitor it for changes regularly (meaning fetch and pull cause double tap..) before I do a merge, I check for any new code on master again, then using the local copy of master, which I just updated, I pull the master changes into my branch, deal with any conflicts, build and done. Then I request my changes into master once I am happy everything is good.
My question is, clearly there is something wrong with the way I do things, so please source tree users, what is the most fool proof way to pull latest from master so that I don't loose code? 😔11 -
I secretly hate customer support and I'm ashamed about that. I secretly hate my work every morning for a couple of hours just for that. Please, don't judge. I just had to say it somewhere :)4
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22.30 PM: "Please ceheck all the points in (30 pages long extremely bad and scarce) documentation. Import doesn't work and customer is pretty unhapy."
me: "So do we have an error or am I searching for a needle in a haystack?"
PM: "Just general error."
FFS i'm sick of this. I can't even test the import because it's on a stupid retarded 3rd party software that expexts CRs on new lines and craps all over the place if it sees a Line Feed&#^$/!&@$&' -
I wanna make a c+friends language and it'd be dev friendly and will throw lots of errors on compile to show love. Also it'll compile slower with each newline so you can always say "it's compiling" there will be classes but people instead and then instead of new I'll have create. As for loops let's go with a friendly do while loop and dontdo while as normal while or dowith i while to have a friendly for loop. Instead of ifs let's say decide() and instead of else let's have or. Instead of functions I'll have well you need no functions you'll have jumps and tests before jumps just like assembly has. Oh and everything will be a pointer because then it runs nicer. To create a variable you can't use = because that's the equal sign in decide you need to use "var int myint is 69" because why not. Then to print to the console "console.outputstream.out(myint)" instead of threads I'll have please like "please work" where work is a jump target. I hope you'll enjoy this language ^^
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Windows just got a BSOD and had the classic "please wait while we collect error info, we will restart for you shortly".
When it reached 100% it actually restarted itself and I litturally said "woah" out loud, thats litturally a first for me. It normally just hangs on 100% for about 15 mins before I just power it off manually.
It sucks that I lost my work, but atleast I got to witness such a rare event.5 -
I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.
We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.
They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.
Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.
Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.
YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.
It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath -
No I don't want your updates every single day, Windows 10. Maybe I don't want to be so edgy with your updates. May be I like it XP style when updates didn't used to bug me with every single boot up and power down. It has become even worse. Who thought defering updates to the next boot up was a good option? It fucking interferes with the flow of work. They were like -
"You know what, let's update till 35% and then fucking update the remaining 65% at next boot"
"But users will be frustated"
"We'll show the update screen with clean font and a nice background. It will calm them down"
"Okay, so let users choose when to download the updates"
"That's not a fucking option, mate"
And if you are going to force updates down our throats please fucking mention what is being changed as a short description instead of showing a 'KBxxxxxxx' update number! If not that, at least hyperlink the thing to your update docs page! OR Mention a version buff if not it! I HATE seeing 'Update for Windows 10 Version xxxx for x64-based Systems' EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I see an update ready to be downloaded.
And no I don't play Candy Crush, or other games that are pre-installed as soon as I re-install fresh Windows or go on Xbox App. I hate to do this ritual of turning off auto download from Windows Store every time. So please don't pre-configure anything for me. Keep it fucking raw. That's why Linux distros win.
I'm just saying, Service Packs were a great thing with a need of little improvements. You guys ruined the whole experience, Microsoft.2 -
I actually learnt this last year but here I go in case someone else steps into this shit.
Being a remote work team, every other colleague of mine had some kind of OS X device but I was working this Ubuntu machine.
Turns out we were testing some Ruby time objects up to a nanosecond precision (I think that's the language defaults since no further specification was given) and all tests were green in everyone's machine except mine. I always had some kind of inconsistency between times.
After not few hours of debugging and beating any hard enough surface with our heads, we discovered this: Ruby's time precision is up to nanoseconds on Linux (but just us on OS X) indeed but when we stored that into PostgreSQL (its time precision is up to microseconds) and retrieved it back it had already got its precision cut down; hence, when compared with a non processed value there was a difference. THIS JUST DOES NOT HAPPEN IN OS X.
We ended up relying on microseconds. You know, the production application runs on Ubuntu too. Fuck this shit.
Hope it helps :)
P.s.: I'm talking about default configs, if anyone knows another workaround to this or why is this the case please share. -
Jesus christ I need my VP and CIO to get their hands out of Azure and GCP and just let me work.
Yes, governance and security and IAM are big deals. That's why you have infraops people like me to deal with that.
I'm literally working with one hand tied behind my back because just about every button press or CLI command I need to do my damn job as a professional cloud fluffer requires me to go bother an executive and ask permission to pretty please can I deploy a new container, can you go press the shiny button? No not that one, move your mouse up...up..now UP..ok over lef-no..can I have mouse control? Sigh fine, do you see where it says "Approvers", no that says "Release Pipeline"
Look I actually kinda like this job, I do, in as much as when I have something to do I get left the fuck alone to do it. Meetings are minimal, aside from the odd days when one of our app services decides to yeet itself into the river Styx, there's little distractions.
Yeah, developers do dumb shit but that's probably best left to the notion of job security and never talked about again less they go to HR and complain that the ops guy was very stern and direct and made the developer take some accountability for their work product.
AND YET
It's so intergalactically stupid that I have to go ask permission just to do ops tasks by the same people barging down my goddamn door asking why the ops task isn't done yet.
"Because you won't give me permissions in GCP to actually DO anything".
Okay. Rant over. Time for lunch. Good meeting, see you all at the holiday party.
2 -
Been trying to install myself a gentoo but it's been more like the mode of broken packages than the godmode of Linux... I mean I see that some packages break if I am trying to compile via musl (not fully supported yet) or via uclibc. But please. CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING TEST THE PACKAGES BEFORE PUSHING TO LIVE? Seriously. I just wanna install a system with i3 and lightdm for the first. But do you think I could build even the first 20 packages WITHOUT A FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?! FUCK NO. I mean it's a clean install - nothing should be blocking - let's wait a day.
*one day later*
Fuck. Shit doesn't work now either.
*gets himself a new tarball*
Wow now it works.... Or not. 4 packages later it failed again. And like that it continues.
Gentoo isn't even running on that new software. BUT IT STILL WON'T BUILD ANYTHING TO EVEN LET ME CONTINUE BUILDING A FUCKING KERNEL AND SETTING THAT SHIT UP.
Now I am totally frustrated - deleted my efivars once because I forgot to unmount /sys from the Chroot - after a few days of trying. I tell myself: Why not just arch? It always worked.
Okay then reboot to windows and get an arch-livesystem.... If only my Windows didn't boot entry disappear again. -
Years ago, I would go on forever with my personal projects. I got so much stuff done I almost couldn't believe it. Today, I just can't. My mental health the last 2 or so years has made me lose interest in everything and i can't even describe how much I hate it. What are you supposed to do when a recruiter asks you why you haven't done much the past 2 years? Say you had mental health problems? Sure they're not allowed to discriminate because of mental health concerns, but they do. I feel like I have to lie on the US disability form, no matter how minor the problem is for the company and little it affects my work ethic. But then, when I'm late more than most because I barely slept or couldn't will myself to get up in the morning, now i can't explain myself.
If anyone here does recruiting or interviewing, please realize that happy face we show at an interview is sometimes a mask for deeper problems we feel we can't admit because we won't be hired. I hate that terrible events made my already inbalanced neurotransmitters worse, but that doesn't mean I will be a worse employee. Please look at me for my skills and enthusiasm for software engineering. That one detail shouldn't be what makes you say no.1 -
I’m from the UK, should I go freelance?
Last few weeks I’ve been feeling really bored with my job. Like mega fucking bored. It’s basically just meetings 7 hours a day, 4 hours planning and then 3 hours of talking about how everything didn’t get finish (I know. I keep saying it’s the fucking 7 hour fucking meetings).
Pay is pretty decent, we have a few juniors, not exactly great code base, kinda cool idea, pretty unique, business will defo work or be sold by corporate owners. (Start up owned by corporate)
I just feel really flat and bored. Mega bored. Keep wondering about going solo and being more of a consultancy or my own little agency? I’ve tried before but I suck at marketing and freelancer and similar sites never provided enough income.
I guess my questions are (if anyone wants to answer):
- What’s this new IR35 or whatever? Is it now pointless to be self employed?
- how would I boost my leads?
- should I do a bit of contracting to get used to it maybe?
- should I just stay where I am and deal with the feeling of not really feeling like I was hired to do anything?
I do also have a little side business I started that I could also work on whenever I have free time, it’s not taking any money at the moment though, early years I suppose?
I’m really sorry if anyone feels offended to read that I’m fucking bored and don’t have a clue what to do with myself. Please don’t reply with some sarccy comment. I really cba to have an internet keyboard troll fight about some stupid opinion we’ll all forget about in a few days. This now counts as a rant. So fuck you. It’s a rant. And I’m rant about the possibility you might comment on my post not bring a rant coz I can’t tell what category I’m posting on. I live in the 5th dimension. Deal. With. It. Or just ignore and scroll on 👍🏼5 -
Hi guys, i have a serious question
I have added port 22777 to UFW to allow ssh through that port then i notice that it wouldn't work, after some time wasting, i added the same rule to iptables, then it worked, why do I have to add the same rules here and there twice? Is Ufw just a decorative app? WTF is going on? How to get rid of iptables and use only ufw? why should i allow the port twice, I need your answers please18 -
I used to work for a consultancy that specialised in a very niche area (I won't say what – this is traceable enough already!). We charged our clients a very high hourly rate, because demand and supply. All the time I'd get calls like the following:
"Please could you just make this small change to the deployment?"
"Yes, of course. You don't have any contract hours left, so I'll just forward you to our billing department so you can sort out the payment first"
"Ah okay, please can you tell us how to do it"
[Even if I explained it, you wouldn't be able to do it – that's why you're coming to us.]
"...or better yet, just do it as a quick fix outside of work?"
[So... work for no pay? No thanks.]
While my company always had my back on these requests (obviously, they wanted payment too), they were so frequent that I got sick of it.1 -
So I am on a vacation for a month and a few days before it ends. My boss calls me and tells me "why don't you take one more week" then he told me that's when he will be back to work as well because he is traveling. When I told him why he said he wants to talk to be before getting back to work.
When he found me sounding worried, he said don't worry there is nothing you are missing we just want to align our plans and give you updates on the period you were gone for.
When I asked him what if I wanted to get back to work sooner, he said I prefer if you wait till I come back
And now I am super worried and paranoid, advice please 😥5 -
The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.
From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.
From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?
From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?
From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects
From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.
Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.
From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.3 -
(TL;DR at bottom)
Does anyone else feel that modern GUI's or webpages or anything thats 2-D and modernized, just seem to contain 10x less data that old interfaces.
Disclaimer: First time uploading picture, idk how it will go)
Let's say Google's Inbox, compared to the old Gmail interface... (In attached picture)
I am the only one annoyed by this?
I really like the look and everything and I love modern designs, but please please, keep the functionality there. I just feel like there is 10x less options to do when I see a system converted to a new modernized design. Even YouTube look ugly now, that I am convinced there are about 10 buttons less under each video.
(New <-> Old in attached picture)
Thinking objectively, all of the buttons are still there, but from other experiences, I just always get discouraged when I see a product with a minimalistic design, and am immediately turned away from it, expecting that I wont have any sort of ability to customize my settings.
If you say that fancier GUI's take too much work to make all he settings, the fucking don't make a modern GUI... I want something I can tailor to my needs... There is always a good line in between, just like "old" youtube's design...
Maybe thats why I hated LastPass with it's fancy GUI's and instead preferred KeePass for my passwords...
As promised:
TL;DR
Anyone else hate modern GUI's since they usually lack features?
3 -
I've never had to put up with bullshit after bullshit after FUCKING BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
ONE THING GOES WRONG SO I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE OH SHIT I LOST THE CORD, FOUND IT, DOESNT WORK, FIX THAT, "COULD NOT EXPAND FILESYSTEM PLEASE TRY RASPI CONFIG" BLAH BLAH. I WAKE UP THINKING TODAY WILL GO SMOOTHLY BUT LINUX DECIDES TO FUCK ME OVER THEN I TRY TO GO TO THE PI BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST REFUSES TO WORK6 -
So I just did my morning shopping and only one register was open. There was an older gentleman in the front, who took some more time getting cigarettes and paying his total. Well Mr. Important in his nice suit decided that took too long: "Lady! Please open another register! People don't have time, I have to go to work!"
The cashier called in for another register to be opened and once that guy made his way to the other line, she said "My mother always told me, if you don't have time for shopping, don't." 😂
ALSO GUESS WTF THAT GUY WAS BUYING, JUST A SOME CHEAP FUCKING CIGARILLOS HE COULD'VE GOTTEN EVERYWHERE ELSE THAT'S NOT A SUPERMARKET -
"Can you go through this hours-long process to reproduce an issue i saw and debug it? I don't have bandwidth."
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure the issue is actually due to your recent changes in [related feature], and I'm pretty busy myself."
"No, that's not how that works. Please figure out the real issue." (Strongly implying it was my fault)
*Goes through hours-long process to reproduce* (yes this procedure could be improved but this is a rant not a planning meeting)
*Of course, it was his change*
"Oh. Well, it's not really a priority." -
I’m a mobile developer, iOS is my main platform. When I work for local clients, from Serbia and region, in most cases I get design by Android standards, Android native features etc, and they usually don’t have understanding for changing to iOS native features and that is just ugly, less quality UX and frustrating. In my region Android is main platform. Does anyone have this kind of problems? Is this happening at your place? Please share your experience, it will help me a lot with mine fights with windmills!5
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Changed db host from sles 11 to sles 12...
Users had to set a new pw...
And there is this guy, who is longer in this business,than i am on this world...
Yet i had to show him passwd...
And now he gets back to me with the following:
C: "since the pw reset my password doesn't work"
> Cutout from the error message, which clearly says ssh algorithm negotiation failed
Me: "just to be sure, are your pws set correctly? And what client do you have, where does this message come from?"
C:"i checked the pws, they match. I still get the error."
...
Me: "... And whats your client? Does putty/cygwin still work"
C:"yeah they still work"
...
Me:"and what throws this error?"
C:"uhm Ant"
*Fyi: some version as old as the brown coals used to do some shady db2 and java stuff"
*Me doin a quick googleing for the error and Ant"
Me:"yup... It appears, that the java lib has some problems with the ssh algorithms.. here are some stackoverflow links, which described your problem." *at least make me try, please*
*Waiting for his response, which will surely result in pure enlightenment and bliss for me...*
Seriously... How dares java to fuck this up... -
!rant
So I’m thinking about buying my very first MacBook but I can’t decide which one to get. Im between the 2017 MacBook Air 256Gb or a 2015 MacBook Pro 128Gb. I’m afraid that if I don’t get 256Gb it won’t be enough for college and work. Just a little background for you guys, I’m a software engineer student and also an iOS/RoR intern at a software development company.
Please help me decide which one to get!12 -
So basically a friend was tasked with doing some syadmin on a propietary system running on top of GNU/Linux (they distribute the software as a distro).
Called me about an hour ago because there was some odd stuff happening so I log into the system and start figuring out what the actual fuck is up.
Just now we discovered that for a certain critical feature you just need to trust that there will be no eavesdroppers, meaning you send system credentials in cleartext over the network, and it won't work if it's not so.
Of course, some tunnels and routing later (which by the way, is "manual" configuration which is highly discouraged by the creators of this piece of crap) we kind of managed to overcome this obvious fail.
Now then, can you please explain me again how is it that these companies grab open source, make useless layers that limit it in every way possible and still profit? I mean, for fucks sake, you should at least let people manage shit with standard, well understood tools instead of "improving system administration", "easing it for...", for whom?
I'm so happy to log into our production server and be welcomed by beastie. -
!rant
So yesterday, I was testing some new features that I just implemented in this project at my internship. The thing did not work.
Today, I came in, literally changed nothing, opened up the test again, and now the features work perfectly fine.
I don't know how to feel about this. Veteran programmers, please give me some advice. -
Can we PLEASE once and for all redesign email and texting to be whitelist only?
Seriously, blacklisting doesn't work. We still have assholes that just because they know a line of text or a phone number can harass you forever. It IS harassment and needs to stop. We can always have the option of throw away blacklist addresses, but lets make primary email and phone numbers whitelist only as a standard feature. The business of SPAM would be dead overnight.5 -
Have you guys ever seen another dev at you work just completely lose it? How do you cope with stress, rage, frustration at work? (other than DevRant) Stories, please.7
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Hey, i'm just a guy and I develop applications and study at the same time, so I dont work...
In a lot of post I read words like IT jobs, 'editing code in production', could someone please explain me their meaning? Thank you3 -
I really feel lost in the world of freelancing, I mean I literally have three jobs on the go so barely any pressure and yet I'm cocking up my time estimations and mixing up code for each site, and giving incorrect predictions for completion, so basically I keep ending up working for free. Freelancers of the depths of devRant, please help! How do you manage to maintain a work life balance? Is accurate predictions and time management just something that comes with experience?
Also huge props to you for being able to keep your mentality!12 -
Working in an expanding business is mostly fun, can be kind of challenging (for those who don't like to step in and do what's needed). One thing in particular you need to do a lot - is interviews. Lot's of them.
There are alsways two sides of the coin, for sure. But, just a little tip/hint to everyone looking for a job - please, please, please make sure your CV and letter at least makes sense for the position you're trying to get.
This (screenshot) is just one example of things in a CV which really makes me want to shout and kick people out.
It's part of the front page of a CV, for someone who is looking for a position as front-end developer / UX specialist. This person claims to be very interested in UX, and has done wome work already in this field.
Can ANYONE explain to med WHAT THE F*CK this actually means?
1) How many stars can a row have? 10, 6, 8?
2) What does it mean to have 4 starss in PHP knowledge? What's lacking to get 5?
3) What's the scale based on, at all?
And you want me to hire to to do UX of loyalty communication (e-mail, mobile apps, websites/landing pages) for our customers - who in turn have millions of customers/prospects?!?
ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?
If you can't even make a visualization of your _own_ knowledge which can be interpreted into some sort of competence matrix, but you just use something you think looks cool... Damn, you could at least have tried.
1 -
Can we just decide that we stop using 2 spaces as indents. I really don't have a big preference with tabs versus spaces (especially with modern editors it really doesn't matter that much) but can we please for the love of God stop using 2 spaces! It's ridiculous, it's impossible to read and to understand what goes where, especially with HTML where it's important to grasp the structure of the page. Another annoying thing is when newbies use 2 spaces, since it's visually hard to make out an indent the file usually becomes completely messed up and even harder to read and work with. So can we as devs just come together and wipe 2 space indention from the face of the Earth and decide to newer use them again!8
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Dear Microsoft, I see what you were going for, and I love you for it; but for the love of god, please fucking fix the clusterfuck that is Nuget.
I use a private feed for client work, and I have the public source registered too, so why would installing a new .core template from Nuget fail just because it tried the private feed first and shit itself?
It really shouldn’t be this hard.
Sincerely,
Brolls -
My master thesis is in ramble.
What I thought to be an achievable task in the beginning turns out to be very challenging.
My skill is not up to it.
The assistant prof I worked with is also not very helpful. I thought he's already familiar with the lib I will work with, turns out he's not so I have to study it by myself.
Me : **Asking question A**
Him : **Explaining B, C, D that's not really related to A. My question went unanswered.
Him giving me explanation on things that I already knew**
Me : "How about this code? Can we please focus on the code?!"
Him : **Finally explains the code so I can move forward a little**
Apparently I have to grow fangs and horns to scare people to give me what I want. :/
He and my prof are not in sync about how to solve the task.
They told me that even though I was behind my deadline (30% progress at 50% time), I still have some time before the deadline of the thesis.
The truth is, if I no longer believe that I can solve it, even if they gave me a time extension, it's going to be useless.
My motivation of finishing it is fading away. It's not a subject that I enjoy, the people I work with are not helpful.
I have been in depression for 2 months, and it's taking a toll on my health.
I am seriously considering dropping it and just let go of my master degree. There are many people who can work in IT even though they don't have proper formal education eh?5 -
Trying to setup a fucking google tag manager to get the fucking google analytics working.
Few years ago it was a 10 minutes work. Now I'm already at 4 hours. Fucking sick
WHY I say why I have two fucking equals accounts, FUCKING THE SAME.
And one is working the other one doesn't give a shit about my analytics.
Ehi, Tag manager, I just set up a Tag called "YourMother" related with its trigger called "Fuck" using same extra variable called "anal"
Can you just show it in my anal-ytics, fucking please?9 -
Struggling with my graduation project.
Me: "fuckfuckfuck whyy this shit won't work!"
Dude: "would you like to solve every problem with just one click?"
Me: "yes please!!"
Dude: "shoot yourself in the head :D"
Well... it's just one click... and everything will be fine... mmmh yeah.1 -
Is it just me, or do other people feel like mysqli prepared statements like to never work the same way twice?
I just finished a 3 hour debugging session where the prepared statement just didn't work. Then, just moments ago, I commented out an "echo" that has nothing to do with the fucking statement! And guess what? It works.
one moment please, I need to let my anger out.
GAAAAAAAA YOU FUCKING STUPID COMPUTER! YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!
and to the people who made mysqli...
I HATE YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
*sigh*
Ok, I'm back.
Anyways,
I don't know how, but I think php can smell anger and loves to make life miserable.
Please tell me I'm not the only one. -
Tech lead: so for this sprint, please implement this HTML page in Angular
Me: do we know what kind of Angular table we are using yet?
Tech Lead: just use the Angular UI one
Me: do we know if that supports drag and drop and custom filters?
Tech Lead: that's not needed for this page
Me: yeah but like 5 other pages of this web app does
Tech Lead: so? We will find a different table then.
Me: but they will look and feel very different and it will be totally obvious that it's patchwork, and we will need to rewrite this page you want me to write now...
Tech Lead: so what if they look completely different. Stop thinking about future sprints. can you have it done next week?
Me: ummmm.....
... this is going to be a fun project. Oh, not to mention I'm only supposed to work on it for 20% of my time....1 -
First post on devRant... Aaaaand it's university hw... I can't wrap my head around this...
So, the problem is: I have to implement writing and printing 64 bit decimal integers (negative and positive with 2s complement) in NASM Assembly. There are no input parameters, and the result should be in EDX:EAX. The use of 64 bit registers is prohibited.
There is a library which I can use: mio.inc
It has these functions:
- mio_writechar (writes the character which corresponds to the ASCII code stored in AL to console)
- mio_readchar (reads an ASCII character from console to AL)
It also has to manage overflow and backspace. An input can be considered valid or invalid only after the user hits Enter... It's actually a lot of work, and it's just the first exercise out of 10... 😭
The problem is actually just the input - printing should be easy, once I have valid data...
Please help me!3 -
Customer: It doesn't do what we wanted it to do, we have this issue, this particular usecase doean't work because you didn't use the patch we sent you. Please use it!
Me: I used most of it, I just fixed few broken parts and dropped part handling the hardware you realized you don't have and I just retested this particular usecase and it works! -
Just because I didn't know the direction to work on doesn't mean I didn't do shit
Also, aren't you the professor so you please tell me what to do
And no you don't need to focus on the sample dataset I'm working on. Yes its name is "Breast Cancer" SO WHAT!!!2 -
So I've received a link to Figma for the new mobile app from our designer. It looks great and all but...
Each fucking piece of text is styled independently. Half of the cards in the layout are simple rounded rectangles, the other half are some components with a gradient. Icons are a mix of vector graphics and line elements. Even buttons aren't components. Consistence anyone? Please?
And now comes the best part. How am I even supposed to reach half of the screens? There are four variants of a screen with very similar functionality, but only a single button in the main screen which would at least remotely correspond to one of them. The guy who invented the wirescreens just kept adding things which would be nice to have in the final app, without revising it and making clear use case flows out of it?
After a few days of implementing this clusterfuck of a design, I have finally settled on a consistent set of font and element themes. Just please use components in Figma. You are paid to work in this tool which can make it super easy for the developer AND for you as well to make the design come to life, so why don't you learn to use it?
At least the designer is a nice guy, but god, could he learn to use his single tool?3 -
Ticket: here's something wrong with the export of transactions, please check.
Very useful description, let me just go over this logic I've written months ago.
Yeah, I went extra sure that everything's right, besides the ones for created during the initial testing that we left. Took me a hell a long time to prove because there's such a vague description but ok.
Of course I have the time to make an eyecandy of an excel spreadsheet for you.
Only for you I'll also go and fix these entries manually. If you want me to do it so badly, I'll gladly do it.
Oh what, you're upset that I wasted 5h for this complete bullshit? Well fucking go and learn the database structure yourself then or get sued idk
Hope it was worth that 1€ difference the customer paid himself.
Not to mention that I also had to do an emergency setup to work from home because those people who are responsible for giving me an appointment for a covid test sure like to wait days after my sick leave is over. ffs, I just had a cold...
Also fuck all this bullshit mac software required to work in this network, half of this shit flat out requires you to use the same software and ofc it's all closed source to the point where I'd be glad to have an electron app for everything. -
So I bought a gtx1650 gpu for my old phenom II X4 pc. It didn’t work – the screen vent black in like five minutes after powering up the pc.
I was disappointed, but instead of returning the gpu, I bought all the other components to build a new pc on ryzen cpu. Including the gpu, it all was like $400 and I still have all my old parts to sale.
Now I’m here, playing all the latest games like doom and wolfenstein on ultra in 1080p 60fps and I’m more than happy.
I basically found a way to convert my bad experience into good experience. I’m just off my therapy, so all that bad experiences that may seem insignificant are a big deal for me.
I didn’t knew it was possible to make a good emotions out of bad emotions that easy. If only I knew the way to apply this strategy for any arbitrary situation.
(please miss me with that boomer bullshit like “nothing is wrong stop whining and get over it” etc. I’ve been there, I’ve done that and I needed medical treatment afterwards. “Getting over it” just doesn’t work)6 -
This is a rant about the passion of programming and building in the business world (AKA corporate/startup world)
I speak for myself and I believe many programmers out there who set out on their journey into the world of programming by a certain interest kindled some time when they first wrote their first line of code. We innocently eager, and dream of working for large fancy companies and start making money while doing the thing we love doing the most.
And then... reality hits. We find that most companies are basically just the same thing. Our supposedly creative and mind-challenging passion is now turned into mundane boring repetitive tasks and dealing with all kinds of bazaar demands and requirements. You suddenly go from wanting to change the world to "please move this to left by 10 px". And from experience that drives people to the extent of hating their jobs, and hating the very thing they were once so very infatuated with.
One narrative I see being pushed down the throats of developers (especially fresh young eager developers with no experience) mostly by business people/owners is "WORK FOR PASSION!". I personally heard one CEO say things like "It's not just about a salary at the end of the month. IT IS ABOUT A MISSION. IT IS ABOUT A VISION"...bla...bla...bla. Or "We don't work for money we work for passion". Yeah good luck keeping your business afloat on passion.
What irritates me the most about this, is that it is working. People today are convinced that doing shit jobs for these people are all about passion. But no one wants to stop for a second and think that maybe if people are passionate about something, even if that thing is in the field in which they work, they're not passionate about working for someone else doing something they hate? If I am really working for "passion" why don't I just quit and go work on something that I am ACTUALLY passionate about? Something that brings me joy not dread? It's a simple question but it's baffling to me why no one thinks about it. To me personally, jobs are just that; jobs. It's something to make a living and that's it. I don't give a fuck if you think you're building the next "innovative", "disruptive", "shitluptive" thing :D. Unfortunately that is viewed as "negative limited mentality".
I am quite passionate about programming and making things, but I am not so passionate about building your stupid app/website with a glue code everywhere!2 -
Guys just wanna ask stuff..I recently just became interested with bitcoins and mining them(trying to earn without spending a cent)... I tried out nightminer py but it seems I can’t get this to work.. I prefer to run it on a cloud server... should I continue or shouldn’t please Identify the pros and cons so that I’d tally them and decide if I should pursue this...14
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Recently I deal with low motivation, because of my internship. I have to write a lot of reports and I just hate that. I'm almost at the end of my internship, these reports just get higher priority.
So instead of being busy with my internship I just start a random side project. The advantage is that I don't think about the reports and the disadvantage is that I don't think about the reports... so at the moment I just don't want to do anything at all.
What I meant to say is, please keep in mind that it's not all about work. Just do stuff that you like, but make sure you have the right balance between it. I just started too late with a relaxing side project and lost track of time and now I only can work on my reports, writing 10 lines a day or so..1 -
TypeScript types are fun. Problem is: the check is compile-time only.
I just wasted an hour not understanding that an integer passed from command line was actually getting transmitted as a string. The library, where that value landed as parameter, happily ignored the non-matching type and worked as if the value has not been set at all!
Dear library maintainer, please enforce your parameter types! Throw an error right into my face saying I shall not pass anything but an integer! Don't just continue to work to produce false output correctly. Thank you!
Dear TypeScript, I really want type checks on runtime.
Dear JavaScript: Why did you ever think loose types were a good idea? (And I say that as a PHP developer as well.)2 -
I'm at my limits with working from home. It started off really cool, but for a multitude of reasons I just need to get out of my house. I'm seriously considering renting a work space to at least go to part time. If anyone in the Denver area wants to go in on one, or is looking to rent out space, please let me know.3
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I have the concept of making and selling NFGs to people. I suppose it would use some blockchain. Some initial NFGs I would like to sell:
- I don't give a fuck.
- Don't worry, be happy.
- Live and let live.
- Shit happens.
- Whatever...bitch.
I suppose some good memes could work as well. Not just slogans.
Please add to the NFG collection.1 -
Hey guys!
I'm just a student and not a pro with years of experience...so this is my first project on github (i've had many projects but never uploaded them)...
I want feedback abt it ...can u guys please visit it when u r free and lemme know what bugs are there, ways to improvise the code, Features to add etc ... Also i'll be glad if someone pulls it and work on the code a bit if they find something wrong and push it...cuz i want to keep learning and open source projects are best way to achieve it!. The code might be a bit childish😅(I'm just a novice)
https://github.com/spdhiraj99/...2 -
When interviewing people still ask me if I work with Eclipse. I'm Android dev, why should I ever work with that piece of sh*t of an non-IDE?
Please just don't ask for Eclipse. No sane androider uses it. I don't like to waste my life using the worst software ever made. I would even say that no one should be using it. NetBeans is better, IntelliJ is best.2 -
Urgh... No exceptions in Rust annoys me. Now you only have the choice between "this didn't work please handle this error, thank you ^-^" and "you fool, prepare for annihilation". So basically if anything remotely serious happens your programs dead and there's nothing you can do about it. I don't get why people have this hate for exceptions. Everytime a new language gets made it's always either "ew it has exceptions" or "it's so nice it doesn't even have exceptions". NOOO! They can deal with serious situations in the best possible way and they can be statically checked (so no "but they're so complex and unpredicable" stuff please). If you can expect an exception they shouldn't be used in the first place (eventhough they are absolutely no less good than Option returntypes or whatever, just different) but in cases when it's impossible to predict an error they really shine. And not having them makes your language worse. If a device driver accesses illegal memory it should throw an exception, so instead of the computer shitting the bed, first the offending function has a chance to resolve the problem at it's root, then a few functions up the call stack, the general control functions of the device drivers can handle it and restart the operation if applicable, and even if the driver fails to handle it, the OS can jump in and restart the driver, log an error and do whatever. It's absolutely beautiful: This hierarchical ramp from near the accident site to more high level operations code ensures the error can be caught at the right level of abstraction without introduction a lot of boilerplate. If everything fails and nobody can handle it *then* the program or kernel or whatever can panic.4
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Productivity Hack: I'm a java developer who decided to write a productivity app that integrates to-do, pomodoro and eisenhower matrix altogether with reports generation. this will also help me logging at work. I'm also using electron + angular2 + typescript, just because, well, I'm trying to learn new stuff.
Long story short, many many many many days later, i'm still waiting for that productivity boost. What is dis webpack? Wat u mean loaders? Wat promises? electron-prebuilt is now electron? Wat u mean npm and node should be updated? .....
Please send help1 -
User: looking up anything in Google Help Center (support.google.com)
Google: (bunch of outdated or misleading answers)
Google: This question is locked and replying has been disabled.
To make it even worse: "Please note that this forum is run by volunteers known as Google Product Experts who are not Google employees and are merely advising on best practices and interpreting Google's policies based on their experience."
So Google uses the free work of volunteers dabbling workarounds for their bugs and misfeatures and, despite Google's reputation as a search engine, fails to present their end users helpful, up to date information.
Dear Google, why not just offer a paid version of your free service where users can actually expect quality of service? I remember the internet before Google and I can't wait for the internet after Google! Seriously!1 -
Went to a hackathon and tried to use ARCore. Most painful experience of my life. There are so many issues and critical bugs that I can't even fit them all into a 5000 character rant, Google has shittier code than a highschool startup.
So instead of typing 5000 characters I'll just save you all some time. If you're forced to use ARCore, don't even try to use the AcquireCameraImageBytes or related apis for actually accessing the camera feed. Just use unity's screen capture API (draw an invisible rectangle on the whole screen, make a texture, readPixel entire rectangle). Turning off all models for 1 frame and taking a screen capture is easier, faster, and somehow more optimal than using Google's code.
Also, they released Augmented Faces on Friday. Their demo plainly doesn't work the way they intended on many devices because the list never gets populated since their engineers are dumb fucks. Just force the face mesh to always remain active and you'll instantly support all devices! You can deactivate it using your own methods but Google's doesn't work on many devices. There's an issue in their repo about this that they are plainly ignoring.
Also if you're interested I have a (working?) engine to use Object Detection for interactions within AR + a create your own adventure game demo made w/ object detection + ar on my git:
https://github.com/pshah123/...
My code is 100% crap so definitely don't use it in production but I was able to get the individual pieces working so hopefully this helps someone! Unless you're from Google, then fuck you please uninstall16 -
Questions more then a rant...
I've moved from being a lead on imploring DevOps and Agile practices in a large Telco to now working for a security consultancy... The team I'm with are s*** hot when it comes to SecOps (which is why I changed jobs) and I've been hired to he the automation and working practice expert on the team. Already got some of them learning Ansible which is a great start!
I've got delivery now being pushed to Git and all client work being tracked in Jira and properly documented and collaborated through HipChat and other CI tools on the way....
My question is this... Does anyone have some awesome resources to teach people Git, Jira, Jenkins, etc. quickly without forking or branching out on expensive training? Focus on being a technical but consultative team. Ideally just wanna pull some awesome guides and make. My own commits on them for the team... Please fire a story or epic away!1 -
Make your code available for your team members, please.
So we're working on this robotics project using ROS, a framework that enables multiple nodes in a network exchange their functionality among each other through tcp connections. Each node can be implemented and executed on your own machine, and tested with dummy inputs, but in collaboration they make a robot do fancy stuff.
The knowledgebase needs data from the image processing unit, providing this data to others with semantic context to high level planning, which uses this semantic data for decision making and calling the robot manipulation node with meaningful input, to navigate the robot's components in the environment. We use a dedicated machine, which pulls the corresponding repositories and is always kept configured correctly, to run each node, such that everybody has access to each other's work when needed.
So far so good. We tried to convince the manipulation guy (let's call him John) to run his code on our central machine, not a week, but since the first day, 5 months ago. Our cluster classification has been unavailable for 2 months, but my collegue fixed that. We still can't run the whole project without John's computer. If his machine blows up we're fucked.
Each milestone feels like a big-bang-test, fixing issues in interfaces last-minute. We see the whole demo just moments before our supervisors arrive at the door.
I just hope he doesn't get hit by a truck.2 -
So, Our company called us back to office after 8 month.. and reason was our boss is giving.. You guys may be work on bed.. It is bad for your back.. Here we will provide you better working enviornment and please do carry your laptop to office :P
But I think its okay to work from office.. Once I was excited to work from home. But dude you can learn from the person sitting next to you, discuss things around,, can see what others are doing.. Its a progress. At home you are just u and laptop :)
Personally I think its better to work under someone superior obvious he/she should be technical and egoless.. then its more fun.3 -
just completed my first side project today after one and a half months of hard work.
Check it out:-
https://git-lan-api.herokuapp.com
Please provide any suggestions and improvements.4 -
If you hate jQuery because you say it's "bulky", then please explain these modern JavaScript frameworks with a bajesus of configuration to make it just work plus the node_modules.5
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If you have a Google document related to this JIRA issue, can you just take the 30 seconds to flippin attach the link to the issue please? Don't make me search Google Drive to find your work.
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Just pushed the last commit about a work they asked me in the last job interview. Please wish me good luck!2
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I feel stupid about once or twice per day because of samll and obvious mistakes I make.
But maaan I feel dumb as fucking rock when I read the Docker documentation, I don't understand any fucking thing, and as usual, I can't find 2 websites with the same opinion about anything
I JUST WANT TO MAKE MY THING WORK, PLEASE -
Team Lead (not my team, thankfully) sends outs a team-wide message (in their exact words):
"please DM me with the task link if you are adding any new tasks in Jira. This is to make sure that i am aware of any ad-hoc task coming up in the jira queue and also to make sure that all the task are following a common template."
Interpretation : "I'm just too lazy to look at each jira issue after the last one that I followed up on (which is my job BTW). So I'll add some extra work for you to explain everything to me on DM"
Way to go for killing productivity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thankfully, this is not my team. If they were my team lead, I'd be super furious. I'd even report it to upper management. I'd even offer to do their job and let them do mine. I think their job just got so easy if everyone was to go report to him like that.3 -
!! WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE!!
So my Xbox one broke down and I want it to be replaced, since it is out of warranty , I don’t mind paying for a replacement(I heard somewhere they have an offer where you pay a small amount for a new one)
But those fuckers aren’t human, not metaphorically, I mean literally , you can’t call/chat with a human , the only time you can contact a human is after 7:30 fucking PM.
Royal fuck in the nuts witha hammer, you’re Microsoft , not some porn company which is only in one country ,please have a “working” customer service, recommend you guys, before going to buy a Microsoft product , just try to connect to microsoft , you’ll probably end up buying something else
P.S. the image below shows how the only time I can connect to a human is after 7:30PM - 7:00 AM, and no emails too don’t work
4 -
A: oh hey my commit is not in the master branch...
A: *seeing bunch of commit deleted activity in bitbucket by B
A: Lol B deleted commits in master branch
B: Wait, what?! I know I have rebased my branch.. but never have I rebased anything in the master branch.. how can this be *intense breathing
B: Are you sure you have pushed yours to master?
A: Sure I've rebased, squashed, and rbt landed my work to master, here look my local master has my commit
CTO: wait what? Is this related to this bug we have in production just now? Please don't panic, let us resolve it
Turns out rbt land just squash your commit to your local master branch and they thus A have not pushed it to the remote. And the bunch of commit deleted activity were bitbucket not informing from which branch the activity was happening. Almost gave us heart attack. -
Not that i am just in this for the money but how do i start making money from what i know? I'm sick of my car wash job, they hired me because i wanted to help them get there website to a better standard but that's not what they'ed had me doing. Now i just work at this dumb car wash.
Please, how do i sustain a income from this thing that i really love to do?1 -
!!!rant
f**king cooperate d**ckheads this ppl are work-shipped like gods who just ask stupid questions just for name sake and they don't know what the heck is going on underneath...they use fancy words like cloud/docker/etc and they please top management d**kers and this guys are top in chain...f**king cooperate political word... _|__3 -
Well, this may out my secret identity to devRanters in my area, but I just submitted my first application ever to be a speaker at a local WordPress conference. The title is "The Care and Feeding of Your Web Developer". If you have a wishlist of how you wish working with employers or clients could be better, please comment and I'll work it into my talk. Thanks!
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I really don't know how I feel about SystemD.
Their recent reveal of Systemd-Homed made me once again doubt the logic behind the project. I mean, yes, systemd is handy to work with at some occasions (SysVInit, for example, doesn't store information about when a certain service failed), but SystemD is slowly eating up more and more of the system's jobs, and I'm a little worried, what would happen if SystemD suddenly went bust.
That will never happen, I know, but... Wasn't the idea behind Unix... Its modularity? That its made up of clearly defined parts that cooperate with each other, rather than a huge, monolithic projects that handle several functions at once?
This is not meant to be a hate post about Systemd, just a little... reminiscence about its goal and role in the Linux community.
Any ideas are appreciated! Discussions are welcome. Just... keep it civil. Please.3 -
Is it just me or anyone else feels anxious due to work, even when there is no reason to be.
I have 2 3 meetings each day, whenever I know that I have to speak in the meeting about something I get anxious. This anxiety can hit anytime, maybe 1 hour or 10 hours before the meeting.
I feel like whatever I am going to say is dumb, people will judge me. No matter whatever people suggest on this, that no on's actually thinking about you or asking questions is good, this anxiety doesn't go.
Please help if you had same kind of problem. Share your scenarios of you were in anything like this.1 -
Somebody please explain to Microsoft Win 10 team that normal usage of a computer should just work, home users don't have hours on end to spend on dealing with:
- BS sound drivers
- high CPU usage & diagnosing, log tracing from system processes
- many other crap you need to invest time constantly fixing or you don't have a useful machine
Windows 10 is a piece of shit7 -
I've always longed for a possibility to just change the source of a picture in MS Word, not having to delete a pic, insert it again and do any settings/adjustments over again. And so it turned out the other day that it has been there all along! Right-click a pic and pick "Ändra bild..."("Change picture..."). It's just that "Ändra" in Swedish means "change" in the sense that you modify or alter something. In this context it would be like editing the picture itself or its settings. A better word would be "Byt" which also means change, but in the sense that you replace something with something. If anyone at Microsoft is reading this, please change "Ändra bild..." to "Byt bild...". If this had been right from start, it would have saved me hours of unnecessary work over the years.
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Just for fun, so if you don't like fun, or humor, stop reading.
Someone in a thread once suggested toppling KFC (a joke of course)
But really, think about it, topple KFC? Why? Everyone knows Chick-fil-A or Wendy's will replace them one day anyway.
Join the "fresh never frozen" rebellion today.
The colonel is some fucking confederate-type anyway.
Clearly KFC appears to be part of the giant commie pinko modern slave state.
If they were real homies they'd sell grape drink.
But do they?
No.
Because it's all about them profits.
They want to be Master.
What's next we're all gonna be forced to wear chicken suits and stand in line begging for tendies while praising a giant golden idol of colonel Sanders like some 2021 throwback to an Aztec god?
Probably Human sacrifices after that. It's an old ritual. When civilizations (we live in a society) run out of meat what do they eat?
Soylent green is people.
Finger licking good.
Praise Sanders. (And please don't sacrifice me next Mr. Sanders! Ill work harder at this writing thing I swear!)7 -
Tooday i try to migrate a Drupal 7 to Drupal 8 ... I think that migrate module from drupal8 will work easily... But i remember on Drupal, noting work as expected on this Platform... I run the migration and suprise suprise content type field are off or empty and I don't have any data imported ...
Go to reports check the error message ... Try to get information on Internet hoo yes i remember no fucking documentation anywhere because Yolo i need to release 1626 modules that in beta or alpha after 5 years of development. And i dont give shit anymore.
Now i try use migrate_plus and tools to make my custom importation... Documentation not found or not finish ... Please omg please just shutup and work1 -
Small experimental demo using JS, CSS and a bit of PHP.
http://abitus.net/tests/...
The code, all mixed in a unique ~600 lines 'index.php' file, is ugly af. But I was mostly interested by the concept here, so it's really intended to be a dumb prototype.
However I think this works. The idea was to use a conceptual design solution in order to show links temporality when it is based on their popularity. More a link gets clicked, more bigger and slower it will be.
There's still a lot to improve. It could work with images or even more complex contents like articles. Just a matter of improving the UI.
Please feel free to play with it and give your opinion. What do you guys think of the concept ?1 -
Wtf Fedora? I install the develop version of TheFuck to work on a plugin, all of a sudden dnf only runs with sudo but gives a module not found when run as normal user? Whyy?
Python import system is a bloody mess, 1 file somewhere with the wrong name and it imports the wrong thing which doesn't contain the thing and crashes.
Can't we just please have STATIC BINARIES? Please? Fml1 -
Intelligent Development class (yeah, that's how it's titled), teacher leaves us as first task to develop our own Database, because later we will make it a fuzzy database.
She gave us three days. Three (counting me) in the team. I began working on Interfaces (Java development) and so on, using GitHub for VCS and documenting each method.
This assholes didn't even ask what was missing or what should they do. One day before date, I told them "Hey, I think I can nail the underlying file management tonight, so, work on the language parser, please"
Stood awake until 1 A.M., waiting for their reply, but there wasn't any.
Next day, I'm the only one of the team and I tried to decline the presentation of my work, but a friend encouraged me, because it was my work and I worked hard.
Presentation went better than expected.
After the class, I have another with one of my team members, he asks "How did you do?", "Us? You meant me, because the other prick didn't go".
And that's all, not another single question nor explaining why did he didn't answered the DM's I sent.
Fuck those guys, fucking team of shit, I hate it when you can't pick your team, but I guess that's just a common place for all of us here, isn't it?3 -
Guys I need to deploy a very simple authentication API service.
You register with a username (actually an ID with a determined format), a password and uuid. You login with your username and password and if credentials are correct you get back the uuid as a response (JSON or whatever the fuck).
If you forget your password, you can use your uuid (which is confidential, very long string) in some POST request to set a new password. If you forget your username, you use the uuid again in a GET request to get back your username.
I've been looking at a bunch of solutions online and I don't think they suit my purpose exactly and all require emails (Like Firebase, AUth0, etc.) So, let me get this straight: NO FUCKING EMAILS INVOLVED PLEASE.
The above are the EXACT requirements I need for my work (for a good cause too). I fucking hate 0-requirement exploratory research tasks and I'm plagued with those. Those requirements are the only way it should work. So again, NO EMAILS INVOLVED PLEASE.
Also, please note that I have never developed an API in my life. I feel like StackOverflow will be assholes about this so I am asking this here.
I know it is very easy to do and there are probably dozens of ways to do this. I just do not know how, documentations are vague and overwhelming (or I'm just a little stupid lately). Another thing is that I am not sure of how can I do this in the most secure way. Bonus if this can be dockerized.
I know I sound a little rude,so I am sorry. It is just my frustration and depressing times I am going through that's preventing from thinking straight.6 -
I have been doing android dev for quite a time now and have started to understand/appreciate a few things that I previously hated (Like Kotlin) . so am not sure where would be my stance regarding this rant in upcoming months, but FUCK DEPENDENCY INJECTION FRAMEWORKS!!
dependency injection is rightly said to be a $25 term for a 25 cents concept. If i start refactoring my old apps today to "follow DI principles", they would require just 5-10% refactoring and i will end up with much more testable code.
But integrating dagger in my apps? Oh please fuck me straight instead. That thing is so overly complicated and confusing. Why would you trust compiler to inject instances in YOUR LOGIC ? it was YOUR LOGIC that guided the compiler, remember?
I am yet to work on a product of scale where frameworks like dagger or koin made even a slightest of sense.
Currently it just feels like another bad choice we took between "simple but verbose" and "complicated but pretty to look at"
The way this framework makes me think like a compiler than a programmer somehow reminds me of this beautiful article i read:
https://theatlantic.com/technology/...3 -
Anyone one here played around with CouchDB before or use it for personal projects or work?
At face value, it seems like a pretty good DB, Just wanted to get some idea from people that have used it before if it is actually pretty good.
I'm not a dba and don't know the caveats of DB tuning or management. So I'm in need of a DB with simplicity and easy management in mind Hahaha.
I'm mostly working with data that is either in JSON or hashtable/dictionary format so it felt like a NoSQL DB would be easy-ish to save my data into, plus I don't think (I hope my guess is right here) that I need regular SQL type relations with the data I'm working with.
Please help me with my noob-iness!Thank you! 😄 -
Is it a problem if you’re a “full stack” developer but the company you work for has your title as “data analyst”? Meaning your teams builds and maintains every aspect of a website that the company employees use in their daily jobs and all that...
I’m just curious how that affects pay, your resume, etc. New to all things tech related so please excuse my ignorance. I just haven’t seen that before.7 -
Hey my bros. I’m trying to create a simple messenger bot just for fun using this tutorial:
https://medium.com/crowdbotics/...
But it seems that I’m kinda stuck with setting up the webhook on the fb page, it displays an error
“the url couldn’t be validated, callback verification failed...”
I googled for answers but it seems that it doesn’t work for me. Can you please help me? Thank you so much.4 -
I have totally lost the sense of discipline in work after working from home for the last 9 months.
And there is a lack of contact with people other than immediate family due to new restrictions which is even more frustrating.
I will always be the one preferring to work from coworking spaces than home.
And if anyone wants to bring up the point of reduced travel time then please don't. My office was just 15 minutes away from home via train. -
I recently joined a good MNC as a .net fullstack dev and right now contributing mostly to the frontend part to one of our projects. I have another team member writing the APIs and when i look at how the middletier is written and how APIs are structured, its just plain shit nothing else. It hardly follows any restful principles, returns weird response code, no design patterns at all, in short its a 10 year experienced dev writing code like a fresher.
I tried to communicate my concerns in a nice way but they were not taken very well. And when later I am asked to work on that codebase it will be like jumping in a pile of shit.
Now my question to you wonderfull people out there is, how do you handle situations like this? Do you have any suggestions for me please?5 -
Hi, so I’ve made a site where I upload small(very) projects I work on in my free time, they aren’t huge animation based rocket ships , rather small but handy stuff like basic light-weight alert boxes.
Now am thinking if any one of you guys have some amazing plugins or things you wanna show, but are feeling too lazy to upload, I can give you a sub domain like awesomesheet.simplecode.in(you’ve to upload the files somewhere like 000webhist)
Just let me know in mohit@simplecode.in
So here it is.
https://simplecode.in
This was made in 2-3 days, so please be kind.
The place is still under construction2 -
If i'm trying to build an example server for a class to demonstrate my grade project (i'm researching hacking, ethical and unethical) and I know basically nothing which is still more than any teachers I talk to on a daily basis (tech manager said I can talk to him with specific questions)
I'm trying to set up and IIS7 server on a spare computer and I'm trying to get Apache to work as well just to learn more but I have no real clue where to start at all
can I get some advice on where to start and maybe some more ideas on how to expand my own
I don't know where else to ask about this since StackOverflow is more for specific questions and I don't know any other sites or apps
please help me4 -
Wanted for once use FireFox for dev / tooling.
Welp, it only took 1 page load to see why devs don't use it :
There is NO information on how long an ajax request took.
A lot of useless stuf like "Destination IP" (Who the fuck cares?) or "Initiator" (I already know where it started, I want to iknow how long it took).
That concludes my try to work with a non chromium browser and i'm sad. because chromium is a new IE6.
Don't belive me ? Look how websites manages checkboxes. Yes that's right with ::before and ::after.
These pseudo elements SHOULD NOT work in <input>. But they do in chromium. Which basicly a deal break to use firefox for our users.
Fuck you chromium. IE6 bis i'm gonna call you now
And FireFox : Please, just COPY dev tools of chromium, yours are unusable.
Ok, I feel better, going back to my bug.2
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