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A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!401 -
The programmer and the interns part 2.
We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.
Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.
Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.
Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.
Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt
Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.
Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.33 -
I worked with a good dev at one of my previous jobs, but one of his faults was that he was a bit scattered and would sometimes forget things.
The story goes that one day we had this massive bug on our web app and we had a large portion of our dev team trying to figure it out. We thought we narrowed down the issue to a very specific part of the code, but something weird happened. No matter how often we looked at the piece of code where we all knew the problem had to be, no one could see any problem with it. And there want anything close to explaining how we could be seeing the issue we were in production.
We spent hours going through this. It was driving everyone crazy. All of a sudden, my co-worker (one referenced above) gasps “oh shit.” And we’re all like, what’s up? He proceeds to tell us that he thinks he might have been testing a line of code on one of our prod servers and left it in there by accident and never committed it into the actual codebase. Just to explain this - we had a great deploy process at this company but every so often a dev would need to test something quickly on a prod machine so we’d allow it as long as they did it and removed it quickly. It was meant for being for a select few tasks that required a prod server and was just going to be a single line to test something. Bad practice, but was fine because everyone had been extremely careful with it.
Until this guy came along. After he said he thought he might have left a line change in the code on a prod server, we had to manually go in to 12 web servers and check. Eventually, we found the one that had the change and finally, the issue at hand made sense. We never thought for a second that the committed code in the git repo that we were looking at would be inaccurate.
Needless to say, he was never allowed to touch code on a prod server ever again.8 -
Toilets and race conditions!
A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.
Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?
Him: yeah. And with a single thread?
Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.
Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.
Me: exactly!12 -
I just remembered the first time I set up a Linux-Server. It was a simple Apache webserver at my first internship anf I didnt have a clue about literally anything.
My mentor guided me through and gave me literal step-by-step instructions (alright, now type... and now type...).
At the end he told me "OK, now run 'sudo rm -rf /*' to finish setting up". Me, being the naive and clueless motherfucker I am, happily nuked the everloving shit out of my newly setup server. I was like "Alright, WTF just happened??" He then told me "Now that you know how it works, do the entire thing again all by yourself. And you just learned an important lesson: NEVER exexute commands you dont know what theyre doing". I really did learn a lot on that day and still follow that lesson :D8 -
When someone's calls and completely loses his shit (swearing etc etc) because we HAVE TO FUCKING HELP HIM BECAUSE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE RELY ON THIS SITE WHICH IS DOWN.
Explained him calmly that its an unmanaged server which we literally don't have access to. Keeps on calling me all kinda things and then says he'll email some login details.
Bossman walks in, collegue goes like 'yo guess what just happened with linuxxx!'
Le me explains the story.
Bossman: email me his number. I'm going to call him. You treat my employees with fucking respect.15 -
> Receive sudden phone call in the middle of the night
> Check caller, unknown number
> "Either something bad happened or it's something urgent. I'd better answer."
> "Hello?"
> Friend of friend of friend says he updated his gpu drivers and now has some random fps drops.
> I was in a good mood so I agreed to help him over teamviewer, even though I don't know him.
> Downgrading to an older version of nvidia driver seemed to have fixed the drops.
> 5 minutes later, he calls again. His headset is not working properly.
> Helped him fix the issue over teamviever.
> This continued for at least 2 hours, calling me every 5 minutes to install just another driver or change some random win setting. Turned out he had some retard format his pc because he thought it'd "make it go faster".
> Calls me again, this time he's pc isn't booting up at all. After 20 minutes on the phone the fucktard admits he just tried to reformat his pc because "my pc automatically installed a bad windows update" ( no, I don't understand either) but he fucked it up.
> I begin explaining him how to make a bootable usb stick, how to change the boot order etc to reinstall windows. I even suggested that I'd help him setup win/drivers after windows's done installing.
> He lets me go for about an hour explaining.
> "So that's it. When the setup is over, call me again and I'll help you install the drivers."
> "Bro this sounds complicated, why don't you come over? This won't even take you 5 minutes"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCKING TRASH
CALL ME AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE YOUR GIGABYTE GEFORCE GTX1060 6GB UP YOUR ASS, PERPENDICULARLY
The motherfucker even called me "bro"6 -
People are fucking idiots. Had agreed to a meeting on Monday morning at 9 with some generic startup. Agreed to listen to their pitch after they had bugged me with hundred phonecalls and emails. It happened that my kid got sick during the previous night and this being the only meeting I decided to work from home and stay with the kid. I sent an email at 2am as apologizing, canceling the meeting and proposing a new time for another day this week.
Well at 9am I get a call from reception that my guests have arrived. I call the contact and she's angry at me that I didn't show. When I asked about the email she snaps at me: I don't have time to read emails on Monday mornings.
Well I don't give a flying fuck about your shitty pitch. Go fucking peddle your shit somewhere else if you can't handle your affairs and start snapping at me. FUCK.9 -
Ex-Boss (62years old)- why do you wear a watch? Take it off.
Me (bewildered) - why? What happened?
Him - see I don't wear a watch also.
Come on, take it off.
Me - *took off my watch* now what?
Him - see. Now you can also look at the time using your mobile, like me. No need of watch. U should be modern.
Me- *WTF. Are u high or something, u fucking insane asshole? *
He was one weird piece of shit.21 -
Lads, I will be real with you: some of you show absolute contempt to the actual academic study of the field.
In a previous rant from another ranter it was thrown up and about the question for finding a binary search implementation.
Asking a senior in the field of software engineering and computer science such question should be a simple answer, specifically depending on the type of job application in question. Specially if you are applying as a SENIOR.
I am tired of this strange self-learner mentality that those that have a degree or a deep grasp of these fundamental concepts are somewhat beneath you because you learned to push out a website using the New Boston tutorials on youtube. FOR every field THAT MATTERS a license or degree is hold in high regards.
"Oh I didn't go to school, shit is for suckers, but I learned how to chop people up and kinda fix it from some tutorials on youtube" <---- try that for a medical position.
"Nah it's cool, I can fix your breaks, learned how to do it by reading blogs on the internet" <--- maintenance shop
"Sure can write the controller processing code for that boing plane! Just got done with a low level tutorial on some websites! what can go wrong!"
(The same goes for military devices which in the past have actually killed mfkers in the U.S)
Just recently a series of people were sent to jail because of a bug in software. Industries NEED to make sure a mfker has aaaall of the bells and whistles needed for running and creating software.
During my masters degree, it fucking FASCINATED me how many mfkers were absolutely completely NEW to the concept of testing code, some of them with years in the field.
And I know what you are thinking "fuck you, I am fucking awesome" <--- I AM SURE YOU BLOODY WELL ARE but we live in a planet with billions of people and millions of them have fallen through the cracks into software related positions as well as complete degrees, the degree at LEAST has a SPECTACULAR barrier of entry during that intro to Algos and DS that a lot of bitches fail.
NOTE: NOT knowing the ABSTRACTIONS over the tools that we use WILL eventually bite you in the ASS because you do not fucking KNOW how these are implemented internally.
Why do you think compiler designers, kernel designers and embedded developers make the BANK they made? Because they don't know memory efficient ways of deploying a product with minimal overhead without proper data structures and algorithmic thinking? NOT EVERYTHING IS SHITTY WEB DEVELOPMENT
SO, if a mfker talks shit about a so called SENIOR for not knowing that the first mamase mamasa bloody simple as shit algorithm THROWN at you in the first 10 pages of an algo and ds book, then y'all should be offended at the mkfer saying that he is a SENIOR, because these SENIORS are the same mfkers that try to at one point in time teach other people.
These SENIORS are the same mfkers that left me a FUCKING HORRIBLE AND USELESS MESS OF SPAGHETTI CODE
Specially to most PHP developers (my main area) y'all would have been well motherfucking served in learning how not to forLoop the fuck out of tables consisting of over 50k interconnected records, WHAT THE FUCK
"LeaRniNG tHiS iS noT neeDed!!" yes IT fucking IS
being able to code a binary search (in that example) from scratch lets me know fucking EXACTLY how well your thought process is when facing a hard challenge, knowing the basemotherfucking case of a LinkedList will damn well make you understand WHAT is going on with your abstractions as to not fucking violate memory constraints, this-shit-is-important.
So, will your royal majesties at least for the sake of completeness look into a couple of very well made youtube or book tutorials concerning the topic?
You can code an entire website, fine as shit, you will get tested by my ass in terms of security and best practices, run these questions now, and it very motherfucking well be as efficient as I think it should be(I HIRE, NOT YOU, or your fucking blog posts concerning how much MY degree was not needed, oh and btw, MY degree is what made sure I was able to make SUCH decissions)
This will make a loooooooot of mfkers salty, don't worry, I will still accept you as an interview candidate, but if you think you are good enough without a degree, or better than me (has happened, told that to my face by a candidate) then get fucking ready to receive a question concerning: BASIC FUCKING COMPUTER SCIENCE TOPICS
* gays away into the night53 -
Software engineering is doomed.
The next generation of developers is going to suck as fuck
I've come across a lot of situation that made me think this way.
The most notable examples are right here on devrant.
I've seen a shit ton of rants blaming languages for "bugs" when in fact those "bugs" wouldn't have happened if those fuckers would have read the specifications of said languages.
This new generation doesn't read, when they've got a problem they just fucking go to Google for answers, they don't bother reading specifications, language books, rfc, etc, they don't bother reading where the true source of information are. The documentation ? What's that ? Let's go to stackoverflow first, let's think second.
Same back in school I've seen people in the highest grades that couldn't fucking decompress a tar archive.
In the coming decades we will loose the high skilled people, the people that made the software world as it is today we will be left with fuckers only able to blame things for stuff they don't understand.
This is my first true rant. This is me being pissed off.27 -
Was at my sisters place a little ago and somehow we came at the subject of her laptop.
For everyone who thinks I'm posting this solely to hate on windows, I'm not. This really happened and if you don't believe it, well, so be it, I guess.
Also keep in mind that's she's using a stock version without anything except for word and itunes installed.
She got it a couple of years ago and I dual booted it for her (windows + ubuntu). I fully expected her to use windows because of office and outlook etc.
Asked her anyways:
Me: So, you've got dual boot, although I think already know the answer, what system do you use mostly? (I didn't even consider that there was a possibility that the answer would be ubuntu or linux)
Sister: Ubuntu!
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: 😵
Me: Sorry, what? You're not using windows as primary system?!
Sister: No. It at first takes that motherfucking system about 5 minutes to reach the FUCKING LOGIN SCREEN.
Me: Ow, that's bad :/
Me: *turns laptop on and indeed, it takes a fuckton of time*
Me: Is the password still the same as when I set it up for you?
Sister: Yesss.
Me: *types the password, it's working, loading screen appears*
Sister: Would you like a coffee?
Me: Uhm.... sure? But that would take you about 10-15 minutes to make.......?
Sister: Yes. And that's exactly how long it takes before that fucking piece of shit called windows has finally loaded the FUCKING DESKTOP.
Me: 😅
Me: Okay but it can't be that bad, right? I mean, I hate windows but you mostly need it for studies and such and as you know I'm not judging you for tha......
Sister: YES IT IS THAT FUCKING BAD. WHEN I'M IN CLASS, IT TAKES HALF THE FUCKING CLASS TO LOAD BEFORE I CAN OPEN WORD OR WHAT-THE-FUCK EVER.
THAT'S WHY I USE UBUNTU PRIMARILY, BECAUSE, ALTOUGH IT'S NOT MY FAVOURITE SYSTEM, IT. JUST. FUCKING. WORKS.
Well, I did definitely NOT see that one coming!
There is some bloatware on there but definitely as bad as what would cause this. Virus scan turned up empty. No. Fucking. Clue.
It's not a gaming laptop or anything but come on, it should run either windows or linux very well.51 -
Doot doot.
My day: Eight lines of refactoring around a 10-character fix for a minor production issue. Some tests. Lots of bloody phone calls and conference calls filled with me laughing and getting talked over. Why? Read on.
My boss's day: Trying very very hard to pin random shit on me (and failing because I'm awesome and fuck him). Six hours of drama and freaking out and chewing and yelling that the whole system is broken because of that minor issue. No reading, lots of misunderstanding, lots of panic. Three-way called me specifically to bitch out another coworker in front of me. (Coworker wasn't really in the wrong.) Called a contractor to his house for testing. Finally learned that everything works perfectly in QA (duh, I fixed it hours ago). Desperately waited for me to push to prod. Didn't care enough to do production tests afterwards.
My day afterwards: hey, this Cloudinary transform feature sounds fun! Oh look, I'm done already. Boo. Ask boss for update. Tests still aren't finished. Okay, whatever. Time for bed.
what a joke.
Oh, I talked to the accountant after all of this bullshit happened. Apparently everyone that has quit in the last six years has done so specifically because of the boss. Every. single. person.
I told him it was going to happen again.
I also told him the boss is a druggie with a taste for psychedelics. (It came up in conversation. Absolutely true, too.) It's hilarious because the company lawyer is the accountant's brother.
So stupid.18 -
Where do I even start?
Personal projects?
So many. Shouldn't count.
Unpaid game dev intern?
Unpaid game dev volunteer?
Both worthwhile, if stressful. Shouldn't count either.
Freelancing where clients refused to pay?
That's happened a few times. One of them paid me in product instead of cash (WonderSoil, a company that [apparently still] makes and sells some expanding super potting soil thing). The product turned out to be defective and killed all of the plants I used it on. I'd have preferred getting stiffed instead. Their "factory" (small, almost tiny) was quite cool. The owner was a bitch. Probably still is.
Companies that have screwed me out of pay?
So many. I still curse their names at least once a month. I've been screwed out of about $13k now, maybe more. I've lost track.
I have two stories in particular that really piss me off.
The first: I was working at a large robotics company, and mostly enjoyed my job, though the drive was awful. The pay wasn't high either, but I still enjoyed the work. Schedule was nice, too: 28 hours (four 7-hour days) per week. Regardless, I got a job offer for double my salary, same schedule, and the drive was 11 minutes instead of 40. I took it. My new boss ended up tricking me into being a contractor -- refused to give me a W2, no contracts, etc. Later, he also increased my hours to 40 with no pay increase. He also took forever to pay (weeks to months), and eventually refused to pay me to my face, in front of my cowokers. Asshole still owes me about $5k. Should owe me the the difference in taxes, too (w2 vs 1099) since he lied about it and forced me into it when it was too late to back out.
I talked to the BBB, the labor board, legal council, the IRS (because he was actively evading taxes), the fire inspector (because he installed doors taht locked if the power went out, installed the exit buttons on the fucking ceiling, and later disconnected all of said exit buttons). Nobody gave a single shit. Asshole completely got away with everything. Including several shady as hell things I can't list here because they're too easy to find.
The second one:
The economy was shit, and I was out of a job. I had been looking for quite awhile, and an ex-coworker (who had worked at google, interestingly) suggested I work for this new startup. It was a "reverse search engine," meaning it aggregated news and articles and whatnot, and used machine learning to figure out what its users are interested in, and provided them with exactly that. It would also help with scheduling, reminders of birthdays, mesh peoples' friends' travel plans and life events, etc. (You and a friend are going on vacation to the same place, and your mutual friend there is having a birthday! You should go to ___ special event that's going on while you're all there! Here's a coupon.) It was pretty cool. The owner was not. He delayed my payments a few times, and screwed me over on pay a few more times, despite promising me many times that he was "not one of those people." He ended up paying me less than fucking minimum wage. Fake, smiling, backstabbing asshole.
The first one still pisses me off more, though, because of all the shit I went through trying to get my missing back pay, and how he conned me every chance he got. And how he yelled at me and told me, to my face, that he wasn't ever going to pay me. Fucking goddamn hell I hate that guy.8 -
Wow this one deserves a rant. Where should I even begin? I got a new job for over half a year now doing work in an agency. We're building websites and online shops with Typo3 and Shopware (not my dream, but hey). All fine you might think BUT...
1) I have been working on the BIGGEST project we have all by myself since I started working at this company. No help, nobody cares.
2) If something goes wrong all the shit falls back to me like "wHy DiDnT yoU WoRk MoRE?". Seriously? How should one dev cover a project that's meant for at least two or three.
3) The project was planned four years ago (YES that's a big fat FOUR) and sat there for 3,5 years - nobody gave a fuck. I got into the company and immediately got the sucky shit project to work on.
4) I was promised some time to get familiar with the projects and tech we use and "pick something I like most to get started". Well that never happened.
5) I was also promised not to talk directly to our customers. Well, each week I was bombarded with insults, a shitload of work and nonsense by our customers because (you guessed it) I was obligated to attend meetings.
6) The scheduled time for a meeting was 30 minutes, sometimes they just went on for over two hours. Fml.
7) Project management. It does not exist. The company is just out to get more and more clients, hires more god damn managers and shit and completely neglects that we might need more devs to get all this crap finished. Nope, they don't care. By the way: this is not like a 200 employee company, it's more like 15 which makes it even sadder to have 4 managers and 3 devs.
8) We don't use trello (or anything to keep track of our "progress"), nobody knows the exact scope of the project, because it was planned FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO.
9) They planned to use 3 months on this project to get it finished (by the way it's not just an online shop, it has a really sophisticated product configurator with like 20 dependencies). Well, we're double over that time period and it is still not finished.
10) FUCK YOU SHOPWARE
11) The clients are super unsatisfied with our service (who would have guessed). They never received official documents from us (that's why nobody knows the scope), nor did they receive the actual screen design of the shop so we just have to make it up on the go. Of course I mean "I" by "we", because appearently it is my job to develop, design and manage this shit show.
12) My boss regularly throws me in front of the bus by randomly joining meetings with my client telling them the complete opposite of things that we discussed internally (he doesn't know anything about this stupid project)
13) FUCK YOU COLLEAGUES, FUCK YOU COMPANY, FUCK YOU SHOPWARE AND FUCK YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS.
14) Oh btw. the salary sucks ass, it's barely a couple of bucks above minimum wage. Don't ask me why I accepted the offer. I guess it was better than nothing in the meantime.
Boy that feels good. I needed that rant. But hey don't get me wrong. I get that dev jobs can be hard and sucky, but this is beyond stupidity that I can bear. I therefore applied for a dev job in research at a university in my dream country. Nice colleagues, interesting projects, good project management. They accepted me, gave me a good offer and I can happily say that in 6-7 weeks my current company can go fuck themselves (nobody knows the 10.000+ lines of code but me). Just light it up and watch it burn!20 -
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
FUCK.39 -
Ah, let me open my half baked personal Android project. Maybe I'll finish it this time.
*opens Android studio*
"You have shitloads of updates. Please download and restart now"
Ok, makes sense. I haven't opened it for a month.
*runs the app*
"CoolApp has crashed"
What the fuck? It was all working before. WTF happened.
*half an hour of online research*
The google play service version is somehow fucked up. So let's fix that.
*App opens*
Yay! Let me login right away!
*Login via google doesn't work*
I didn't even touched the bloody code.
*another half an hour of research. Nothing works*
Fuck this shit.10 -
The craziest shit in my life just happened.
I left my laptop(basically my whole life) and my handbag at my dinner table and went to the the toilet for 4 minutes. I live in a ground-house in a rural area, and the front door wasn't locked.
After I exited the bathroom I noticed eevrything was gone. My laptop, my bags, my wallet. Everything. I panicked.
I quickly informed the local security authority while canceling my credit card and resetting all of my credentials, they with the help of the police they tracked the theives in 10 minutes in a neighboring town, with what it seems all of my stuff intact, which I am supposed to get tommorow.
This is both insane and a miracle. I am speechless and thankful to G-d. This is divine providence. I can't explain it in any other explanation
Watch over your stuff like your life depends on them. Don't ever leave your laptop even for a few minutes.8 -
Today the inconceivable happened at the office. A rather attractive female colleague of ours asked if anybody could help her with a Java related issue.
Of course the majority of guys were more than willing to help.
A victor finally emerged. He went on to claim his prize by helping the fair maiden.
After a few seconds..."This is not Java. It's javascript'
I shit you not we just exploded in laughter 😂7 -
So there it fucking goes.
Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.
All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.
Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.
I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and
BAM
Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.
Fuck,
Fuck this,
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.26 -
Today after 1 year of taking shit I sat down with my manager and completely tore the whole fucking company apart.
I absolutely slammed my colleagues, obliterated my team lead, went on and on about how no one understands the basics and how everything we have is copy paste procedural code and the only way to fix what we have is to delete it. I then insinuated I want to quit because I cba with the struggle anymore.
Result? Fat promotion. Not sure what just happened here lmao.
14 -
That moment when the resident IT guy/teacher at your school comes to you at lunch and you look sad.
Me: Hello.
Teacher: What happened?
Me: Batteries almsot dead :(
Teacher: Well, I've got good news for you. I was talking to the school director about you.
Me: Um ... shit
Teacher: We're looking to get you an intership at the company that does networking shit for us (Netcom, anybody?)
Me: FUCK YEAH ... thanks!
*Day brightened by angelic light*7 -
The weirdest shit happened today. My 14 year old sister comes to me and asks me that she has a million dollar app idea that I should make her so that she can put it on the app stores and earn.
THE PLAGUE HAS SPREADDD😱11 -
!rant
So this happened in the zoom meeting today. 2 colleagues were arguing on something.
A : "Do I look like f**king joke to you?"
B : " No, you don't look like a joke , your camera is off. But you sound like one. "
A : "I am so tired of you , f**k you man"
B: " Hey you can't f**k me without my consent, I said I am not interested."
Me : "Uhm guys this is scrum meeting."
B: "No shit captain obvious, we all know that. "
I am so speechless.....36 -
Hey guys, first rant,
At the moment I'm developing a very big and complex app. We are almost done and decided to deliver a test version to our customer. After he received our test he called us and said there is a problem with a function, he just said it's not working and wasn't very specific.
So I decided to check his problem, because an colleague couldn't figure it out.
I started the app via android studio and had a similar problem, there was a huge delay at the automatic recording function of Bluetooth messages, I thought yeah this is his problem.
I showed it my colleague and he said that he doesn't have this problem, we have different Bluetooth simulators so we thought that there must be a problem with the Bluetooth communication or the simulators are broken.
I checked if there is some kind of timing or buffer problem and logged the shit out of the simulator and found nothing, 3 hours were lost🏁.
My colleague checked his last changes because he had changed a lot at the App Api do to new conditions and those customer wishes💀 he couldn't found anything. So we thought maybe it's my device and the device of the customer. We switched the devices and tada no problem with my devices if the app is builded at the pc of my colleague.
I thought ok maybe it's because I turned some ndk features off. Turned it back on, nothing happened. So we exchanged our Android Studio Settings but no difference. So I said yeah whatever my mashine is just fucked. I restarted my mashine for the third time and started android fucking studio. Some little popup showed up "new updates"... the solution came to my mind ... Do to an update of android studio I excidently turned on Instant Run.....🌋 . I checked it, it was activated, these fucking instant run, great idea but not working... Turned it off, everything worked.
I called the customer because he can't have a problem and he said, this time not angry, oh yeah it was just a notification if I want to turn on my Bluetooth and I decided no and the Bluetooth recording is not recording, this is a problem... -😠NO FUCKING COMMENT😤-5 -
!rant
So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.
Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".
Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...
Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.
I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.8 -
1st post. Not sure if rant.
> Join 1st job after college.
> Desk assigned is close to a senior dev
> Random day, QA asks senior dev questions on something and coincidentally I happened to be working on the same thing.
> Senior dev borrows my system and explains qa something.
> By the end of explanation senior dev had bunch of shell commands written on notepasd on my machine.
> I don't understand jack shit of whats happening.
> QA looks at me and says, "Ping me once."
> I think, "no idea what just happened but must be something related to network ."
> I open terminal and type "ping" and quitely wait for further instructions (address to ping that is).
> Everyone starts laughing their asses off.
> QA guy opens slack, and sends himself the commands on text document.
> I realize what just happened
> Laugh awkwardly with everyone to ease the pressure
> FML7 -
THERE HAS BEEN A SLIGHTLY BIG SPIDER IN MY ROOM SINCE YESTERDAY AND YESTERDAY IT DISAPPEARED THE LITERAL SECOND I FUCKING SAW IT IT DISAPPEARED. I SHIT YOU NOT IT JUST VANISHED. AND THIS SPIDER IS A BLACK FUCKER AND MY DESK, MONITORS, TV, HEADPHONES ARE ALL BLACK SO IVE BEEN REALLY PARANOID. AND JUST A FEW DUCKING MINUTES AGOI WAS WATCHING A VIDEO AND I FELT SOMETHING IN MY RIGHT HEADPHONE AND SLAM JAMMED MY EAR AND THREW THAT BITCH AS HARD AND AS FAST AS POSSIBLE TO THE POINT I HAD TO SIT THERE AND COLLECT MY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED AND I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS EVEN THERE OR IF IT LEFT THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE IS SCREWING WITH ME I AM ONE STEP AWAY FROM JUST BUYING A GUN TO SHOOT THAT LITTLE FUCK30
-
So this shit happened today...
We were asked to implement a functionality on the device that allows it to go to standby mode to save battery power. Once the device enters that state, it can only be woken up by actual bus-network activity, and usually that means connecting a shit-ton of wiring harness and network emulation devices... Before implementing and releasing the device software that does this, we told that fucktard customer how difficult it would be for him to connect to the device without such a setup. He seemed to be fine with it and said rather arrogantly that we should implement the requirement as asked...
Well okay you cock-sucking motherfucker, you'll get exactly what you asked for... We implement the functionality and deliver the software...
Now this pile of shit comes back running his mouth on how the device tears down all its interfaces (to reduce power consumption) and he can't connect to the device anymore.... Well what else were you expecting you dickhead.
To make things worse for me apparently he runs to the manager describing his apparent problem. Both of them come to my desk.. With that fucking Bastard hiding his smugly mug behind the manager's back... He thought he was going to have the upper hand... Well guess what fucked piece of shit, I came prepared... I showed the manager how this was a part of the requirements by throwing that JIRA ID in their faces... The manager seems to understand but this relentless fuck wanted me to implement a "workaround" that would allow him to connect to the device easily... The manager almost had me implement that workaround, when I expose a huge security flaw in doing so. Guess what, now the entire team comes to my desk and start supporting my statement... To make it better they also tell how doing so will violate other requirements...
I've never felt so happy in my entire fucking career, when the entire team stood by me and watched that asshole drag his sorry ass back to his place5 -
A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.
Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.
Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?4 -
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
Warning: contains swearwords!
Do you guy's also have coder-"friend" that:
- Always asks how to do things
- ask for code snippets
- steals your fucking code from Anydesk
- steals your passwords while testing
- steals your code from deobfuscated jar
- steals your jar and deobfuscate it
- steals your database to store stolen passphrases
- tries to convince you to build RATs for your users
- tries to convince you to build RATs for his users
- and so on...
??FOR FUCKING REAL THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME!
HE IS A FUCKING SUCKER CUNT! HE PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE DELETED MY PROJECTS AND TELLS ME HE IS STILL USING THEM TO RESEARCH MY CODE FOR HIS CODE!!!
HE FUCKING RECORDED ME WHILE CODING WITH AN API I AM NOT USED TO WHILE I ASK HIM FREQUENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND HE THEN SENDS IT TO HIS FRIENDS TO PISS ME OF AND LAUGH ABOUT ME!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK ARE ASSHOLES LIKE HIM NOT IN FUCKING PSYCHIATRY!
AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!
FOR GODS SAKE PLS LET A LIGHTNING STRIKE HIT HIM IN HIS FUCKING FACE!
AT FUCKING LEAST I GOT SENT AN IMAGE OF HIS ADDRESS SO I WILL SHIT IN A FUCKING BOX AND SEND IT TO THAT CUNT!16 -
What the shit!!!
At 11:00
While studying
"ah... I'm sleepy, can't tolerate any more", and just go to bed.
At 11:05
While scrolling rants
"hahaha... So true, same happened with me.. bla bla...."
At 12:47
Doing same thing from last 1 hour 40 mins
Even not sleepy yet!!!
It's too addictive. Having so much good posts, much better than fb feeds.... Loving the rants... New experience3 -
So yesterday was a regular old day where I came into the office and began my work. My office mate that sits next to me happens to be having an issue with her batch script. It wasn't running correctly so she had decided to call in IT and have them take a look at it. What she was trying to do was process some images through a dedicated super-computer located on site.
So as you can imagine with both of them standing right next to me it was hard not to listen in on their conversation. The IT guy decided to go through a barrage of different troubleshooting methods to figure out what was happening with her script. And soon enough they discovered what was wrong. It happened to be an issue with how Windows decides to deal with new line characters. FYI it looks like this shit "\n \r"
The fucking \r looked like a directory to Linux. So it would squeal to a halt every single time she tried to run.
How this happened was due to her using notepad to edit her batch file.
At this point, I made a comment about her use of Notepad.
"Oh, you're using notepad? I've had similar issues like this in the past when I've used notepad. I really hate notepad." I said with a slight chuckle.
And that was pretty much the end of our encounters. However, at the end of the day, she decided to speak up about this.
"I don't appreciate you making comments about my use of Notepad. That was a form of microaggression towards me, and I don't want you to do it again."
Completely taken aback I replied.
"I'm sorry you took it that way, it was a joke and wasn't meant to be taken personally."
"Well, your intent does not change impact. And by the way, I take pride in my code and scripting. I don't need your commentary about my code nor your micro-aggressions." She said in a huff.
"Well again, I'm sorry you feel that way," I replied back
*I'd like to say that this situation is loosely paraphrased, but the essence of what happened is still there.
At this point, this is what I have to say about this situation. Why the FUCKING FUCK are you using notepad to program anything. There ARE A SHIT TON of differing programs that are available for your use and you decide to use fucking notepad?!?! $%&*@#$^
You could use notepad++, you could use Sublime, you could use every-fucking-thing except Notepad!!! If anything I think I had every right to make a comment about your stupid use of notepad. And darling, your script not working was well deserved, I hope you run into more errors like this because you deserve nothing less for your arrogance. So you can take your opinions and shove them up your fat-ass because at the end of the day I don't give a FUCK about your opinions on my micro-aggressions that you're spouting off about.
I suggest the next time you feel attacked about your code perhaps you should take a cold hard look at yourself before thinking that I'm the one that is the FUCKING problem.17 -
Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.
A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).
So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.
I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.
I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.
How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.11 -
A fucking shit happened.
I finished coding the front-end design of the website and pushed it to the PM and Boss to review. After 5 days, they came back and said that they made mistake. They gave me the wrong sitemap and design. 23rd June is the deadline, I hope they extend the deadline.2 -
Series of events between me (Mi) and dude in office (DIO).
Instance 1
DIO: There is not psql installed on staging.
Mi: Install it.
DIO: YUM is not working.
Mi: *tries yum it works* It is
DIO: Oh. Didn't work earlier.
Mi: *blank* Make sure you install 9.6
DIO: Cannot find psql
Mi: *types psql, it is already installed*
DIO: Oh, didn't work earlier.
Instance 2
DIO: Made this change to the API, the endpoint is not returning the right value
Mi: *restarts server, shit starts working*
DIO: I am pretty sure I did that, don't know what happened.
Instance 3
DIO: Cannot alter role to give login to this db user.
MI: *runs alter role db_user with login* works
DIO: Don't know why it wasn't working before.
Instance 4
DIO: I have been stuck on this test for the past 1 day, cannot get the API to return the right data while the Rest Endpoint works fine.
Mi: You are hitting the wrong endpoint in the test.
DIO: Oh, I put an extra 's'
Mi: BTW you are testing Spring-Boot with that test and nothing else.
DIO: Yes but what if Spring Boot has a bug?
Mi: ok.7 -
A lot of Project managers are idiots.
Here is what happened: I am a backend developer and was asked to replace some images on some website (not even sure this is supposed to be a backend task). So i did, changes went through review and then they were live.
A few hours later they come to me saying i made a mistake because the image has wrong color tone in one of the browsers (internally facepalming myself)... I didn't design the images nor made any changes to them... I just fucking uploaded the files that were sent to me... That's fucking it.
They blamed me for a design issue and how I should've noticed this issue blah blah blah... And i had to spend an entire fucking hour to explain to them step by step what i did, how i did it and why the color tone was wrong even though i am not a designer and my main tool is VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO AND NOT PHOTOSHOP.
The shit part is that the images were sent to us by the client, so really, it is their fucking fault not mine.
Oh, and they tried to guilt me by saying the client won't pay for this since the images are wrong.
Lost an hour to this bullshit.6 -
We want to improve the portal by making apps for it what can you do or recommend?
Well holy shit this is new you're actually asking the dev team for advice on a future project.
Normally you immediately go to a third party waste a shit ton of money and then tell us we have a week to add whatever it is into our system.
Then when we can't do it or have to delay other projects you're dragging our manager into a meeting with the CEO complaining that IT are refusing to cooperate or are holding up the project etc.
The change of heart is much appreciated but where the fuck did this come from? New year resolution?5 -
*INCOMING CALL FROM MY NETWORK PROVIDER*
HI,
I'm calling from *my network provider* and I wanted to check if you would like to port to our network.
This happened 3 times in a day already. And now 4th time.
Me : Look man, I'm already on the same network and I don't need to port.
Guy : You should have told this to me in the beginning. You wasted my time in not doing that.
THIS CUM DRINKING PIECE OF SHIT PUNKASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T DO A SIMPLE SEARCH ON HIS COMPUTER BEFORE GIVING ME A CALL AND THEN TELLS ME I WASTED HIS TIME.5 -
Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone
- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server
- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates
- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects
- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts
- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers
- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually
- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle16 -
My colleges and I were talking about salaries in our company. Our team as about 10 members. Many of us are receiving interesting offers from other companies, and we concluded that we were being underpaid.
In this life, unless you ask to, no boss will raise you, even if you put some extra effort and work the shit out of you, to bring that profit, new client or something else good to the company.
Nobody was interested in talking directly about that to our manager. Just a side note, our manager is an awesome senior developer and a very nice guy. It shouldn't be too hard to talk about this issue to him.
I waited until our annual performance and salary revision to talk about it. Everyday our team talks about this. Everyone is going crazy.
So I went straight to the point, during this meeting with our manager, and said that we needed to be raised. All of us, because other companies were offering much better salaries.
He said to me: "Take this paper, write down what value should every one receive, including myself."
I took this opportunity and put down the values, raising about 600€ for each one.
I looked at it and said: "This looks ok. I'll will ask your colleagues to do the same task. Wait here."
So he went and requested everyone to do the same thing, without explaining why.
Guess what happened? Some mother fuckers actually cut on others salaries, instead of raising everyone equally.
Anyway the manager said he would show that to the CEO, and maybe something would happen.
We were all raised in the values I said so, because the CEO want us to be among the companies that pay the most.
After the backstabbing, no one ever talked about that. Except for 3 good fellow developers, that thanked me for my initiative.11 -
When I was in school I had some guys walk up to me and asked:
G: Are you Feeno?
Me: Yes, what's up?
G: We need our FY project on school management system done.
Me: Okay?
G: How much will that cost us?
Me: *confused because I was still a freshman. At that point the only programming language I knew was elementary qbasic. I couldn't even write a hello world program without the help of Google*
So played along because yes we're talking about money here.
Me: It will cost you guys N amount of money (*improvised deep voice*).
G: Okay. Fair price.
* Right there they transferred half the requested amount to me. *
Holy moly! This guys aren't joking around. I don't know shit! They clearly mistook me for a senior student whose first name is Feeno, to me that was a nick referred to me by my friends.
I'm in this one for sure and it's a do or die transaction cus I'm returning no fucking money. I told my friends what had happened and they insisted I return back the money to the students and admit I can't deliver the project they were requesting.
Fuck all of yah! I'm keeping this money. Same afternoon I visited the school library with the intension of writing the code using the help of YouTube tutorials. I didn't find anything useful for qbasic as I thought I could write a full fledged school management system using qbasic.
I was lucky enough to find an existing source code on Codeproject, God bless that Indian guy. The source was in PHP and the tutor gave a step by step guide to setup XAMP and MySQL. I really don't know PHP but I guess source code modification is a natural skill to all programmers as I was able to modify the code to meet the requirements of the students (i.e school name, logo and other minor changes).
Most of what I learnt in programming came from modifying the source of that project. I learnt how to connect a PHP source to a MySQL database, I learnt about functions and their usage, I learnt the basics of HTML, I really learnt a lot and I would say that the speed at which I learnt was proportional to the amount of pressure I received to deliver.
That was how my journey as a full stack developer started. By chance maybe.2 -
FUCKING FUCK! THE TEAM LEAD WANTS ME TO MAKE AN UNNECESSARY UPDATE, AND IN THAT TOO HE WANTS TO IMPLEMENT A HALF ASSED FEATURE. Upon telling him what it takes(which he doesn't understand shit about cuz he's not from webdev background and has the level of experience that I had when I was midway my first webdev book), not to mention that he hasn't even seen the code of the project I've worked upon, which I got from an intern they fired last year cuz of not working and shitting around everywhere in the code(I asked if we could start afresh and he says that it'll take too much time - guess what, it took us two extra weeks already cuz of that and half of our required features can't be implemented cuz the code is beyond any hope), he tells me that "The client won't need this feature, but we're thinking of more and more features to provide (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK).
Okay, you wanna sell your product; fine. I suggested that if we're letting the client select the time stamp on the initial date, then we should let him select the time stamp on the ending date too, right?
"No, we'll not provide this feature" ARE YOU FUCKING BONKERS?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH YOU?!?!
I'll have to make major breaking changes in the code, for which I'm not the only one working on. Great.
This, coupled with the fact that he speaks unbelievably slow and it's so irritating cuz he repeats himself thrice.
What happens(has already happened), when he'll show this to the seniors, he'll say that this is either unnecessary/will suggest a major change, which WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH FUCKING BETTER IF TOLD BEFORE I START WITH THE CHANGE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS
I thought this would be fun. Well fuck me.2 -
Part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4210605
So let's talk about these tasks we were assigned. Ms Reliable and Mr DDTW's friend who I just realized I haven't named yet were in charge of programming communications. Ms Enabler and Mr DDTW were in charge of creating the vehicle subclasses for the new variants we were instructed to build. Each one had to handle one variant, and we estimated that both of these would be about the same difficulty (Ms Enabler's one turned out to be a little harder).
I like Ms Enabler, and she's a good friend, although she isn't the best at problem solving and her strengths as a dev lie in her work ethic and the sheer amount of theory she knows and can apply. These just so happened to be the exact opposites of my strengths and weaknesses. Within a few days of having assigned the tasks, she came up to me asking for help, and I agreed. Over the following couple of weeks I'd put in quite a lot of hours reviewing the design with her, and we'd often end up pair programming. It was more work for me, but it was enjoyable and overall we were very efficient.
The other two girls in the group were also absolutely fine this sprint. They simply did the work they had to and let us know on time. Outside of some feedback, requests, bugfixes, and mediating disagreements, I didn't have to do anything with their tasks.
A week and half into the sprint and everybody else has their part almost in an MVP state. As Mr DDTW hadn't said or shown anything yet, I asked if he could push his stuff to the repo (he got stuck with this and needed help btw), and what does he have?
A piece of shit "go to this location" algorithm that did not work and was, once again, 150 lines of if statements. This would not have been such a massive deal if THE ENTIRE PREVIOUS SPRINT HAD BEEN DEDICATED TO MAKING THE CODE DO THIS IN A SENSIBLE WAY. Every single thing that this guy had written was already done. EVERY SINGLE THING. A single function call with the coordinates would let the vehicle do what he wrote but in a way THAT ACTUALLY WORKED AND MADE THE TINIEST BIT OF FUCKING SENSE. He had literally given so few shits about this entire goddamn project that he had absolutely zero clue about what we'd even done last sprint.
After letting this man civilly know through our group chat about his failures, giving him pointers on what's wrong and what he can use and telling him that he should fix it by the end of the week, his response?
"I'll try"
That was it. Fuckass was starting to block us now, and this was the first sign of activity he's given since the sprint started. Ms Enabler had finished her work a fucking week ago, and she actually ASKED when she ran into trouble or thought that something could be improved. Mr DDTW? He never asked for shit, any clarification, any help, and I had let everybody know that I'm open. At least the other two who didn't ask for shit ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING. He'd been an useless sack of shit for half a semester in three separate projects and the one time he's been assigned something half important that would impact our grades he does this. I would not stand for it.
I let him know all this, still civil (so no insults) but much less kind, capped with "Stop fooling around. Finish this by the of the week." which probably came off as a threat but his shithead kinda had it coming.
He was actually mad. Dropped a huge faux-apologetic spiel in the chat. Why couldn't I just trust him (his code was garbage and he was constantly late without explanation), his work was almost done (it wasn't and if he'd started he'd understand the scope of what he was assigned), that the problem was that I'm a condescending piece of shit (bruh), and was suddenly very interested in doing work. Literally everybody ignored him. What was funny was seeing the first questions and requests for help after that spiel. I obliged and actually answered what he asked.
The end of the week came and went he'd just uploaded more garbage that didn't work. I had foreseen this and, on top of everything else, had been preparing his section of the work done by myself and properly. Thus came a single commit from me with a working version of the entire module, unblocking the entire team. I cannot imagine the sheer hatred for this man at that moment for the commit message to simply be:
"judgement"
And with that, all I got was a threat to report me to the professor for sabotaging his work. The following day our group got an email from the professor, with no explanation, asking for an almost-immediate video conference. Group chat was a shitshow of panic, as nobody knew what was going on. Least of all Mr DDTW.
Once again, I'm approaching the word limit so to be continued in part 3 (hopefully of 3)7 -
One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.
CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?
*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*
All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.
*After an hour*
So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.
Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.
*an other hour passes*
Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬
Me: me 😰
*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.
Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.
(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.
*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*
Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )
Head: okay do it now.
Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.
* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂2 -
How the fuck am I expected to salvage a fucking project that has been handed down to me with.
- No fucking clear architecture
- No fucking documentation
- Fucking shitty ass code base with no fucking coding standards
- The previous team was fucking learning a whole fucking new technology stack *Not fucking kidding* making fucking mistakes left and right
- No code reviews
- Mixing fucking local and cloud enviroment together
- No fucking testing
- Feature that were supposed to be implemented and are not working
- No configuration all the stuff are hard coded
- Full responsiblity for the whole stack
- Only one other guy with me
- And this fucking project has been delayed for a year
- MUCH FUCKING MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
Like what the fuck am I expected to do? I took the job thinking that people knew what the fuck they were doing and surprise surprise that was a fucking bust.
the problem is also I am the junior and these fucking people have more experience than me, what the fuck happened to over seeing people's work, PM doesnt give a shit, developers dont give a shit nobody gives a shit.
But when I got this surprise surprise now everyone is interested in finishing the project
BULLSHIT11 -
This happened sometime back..
A guy came to our university with a social network that he created. It was for students and professors to interact, to form study groups and earn points as they mark done topic as "studied". He made a deal with our university, so everyone was forced to sign up for this.
While he was giving a demo of the website, me and my friend started ranting.
"This website is shit. Why are we forced to use this?"
"This UI looks just like LinkedIn"
"This top bar is right out of bootstrap"
"I have seen that graph in one of the libraries. He didn't even change the defaults."
Another friend who was sitting besides us was hearing all this.
"I don't understand a word you guys are talking. It is too high level for me"
We replied, "Don't worry. We will talk in low level. 00101110010101..."4 -
So I had a fun week.
It started off with my boss replying to a co-workers email where he sent his new bank account, saying he doesn't need it untill we close off some baddly planned projects, meaning no paycheck.
Needless to say we were working night and days including weekends on it and put our best into it.
For the next part I need to explain a little background. We have this old legacy system I'm working with for the past 3 years. I keet raising the red flag we need a new one. Nothing happened. So every time I worked with it I kept thinking how to improve the parts. Almost two years went into thinking and planning the new system untill I got a green light. It was most satisfying - the day I got to build something good and awesome. I drew all the data structures, laid out the foundations and started building ontop of it. It was amazing and I was really proud of it. Then suddendly client wanted to see something and the decision was made we threw it together quickly with the old legacy system. It was on hold 'till then due to work overload.
Boss wrote me this week if I can put the project from git on a server, where he out sourced the completition into India where they will finish it. On thr question if they can't work on git, he replied: "should they?" -.-
To top it all up, I got a notice at the end of the week if I don't fill his shit time tracking system (that takes me one hour/day to insert all entries) by monday he'll deduct a sizable portion of my paycheck.
I AM WORKING FOR YOU ALL THE FUCKING TIME BECAUSE YOU LACK RESOURCES AND I THOUGHT A TEAM STICKS TOGETHER AND SAVES EACH OTHERS ASS! I DONT HAVE TIME TO ENTER YOUR FUCKING STUPID TIME ENTRIES IN YOUR FUCKING BUGGED SYSTEM EACH DAY ON TASKS THAT DON'T EVEN EXIST BITCH! MAKE IT BETTER FIRST!! OH! AND NO ONE IS MORE QUALIFIED TO FINISH THAT PROJECT THAN ME, I POURED MY FUCKING HEART INTO IT YOU PRICK!
woah.5 -
How to make your employee suffer, drive them insane and having suicide tendency 101.
Delay the paycheck for 18 days but still asking about task progress like a normal day. Like nothing happened.
I can't pay water and electricity bills that due in 3 days, can't buy medicine,
can't buy gas for the bike,
next week i'm not gonna be able to buy food
The good thing is, i still got the internet, i can look for new jobs and play some games to forget how shit my life right now while the electricity lasts.
Disclaimer
I have no suicide tendency, just to make it more hiperbolic 🤣8 -
Shalom my dudes!
A quick GT from my college years:
>be me
>barely knew how to program but eager to learn more and more
>end of first semester, teacher assigns a couple of classic games for extra points
>battleship, pacman, sudoku, tetris, etc. All done in C
>end up with tetris
>2 days later I have the final build, including all the tech shit like walljump
>start thinking to myself "this looks really fucking ugly, what's wrong with me??"
>look up graphic libraries for C when a light flashes on my computer screen
>*NCURSES*
>the next 2 weeks were a montage of me learning linux, understanding ncurses and redoing my code (plus bug fixing)
>presentation day
>palms are spaghetti
>knees? Spaghetti
>arms? Spaghetti
>class is impressed with my work
>professor comes up to the board and tells me that I get a 0 because it wasn't "pure C"
>clenched my jaw and walked towards the dean office
>"hey, mind if I show you something?"
>open my laptop and show him the game
>he's having a blast since every time you do a 5 row crunch (a tetris), a piece of clothing of a random model comes off
>explain to him what happened in the classroom
>he looks at my code, runs it on a plagiarism checker and tells me that he will edit the grade himself
> a week later there's a 10 on my grading area
>feelsgoodman
6 -
Hello "friend", whom I haven't seen or talked to in years. How have you been? Please don't mind me, my life is boring as shit and nothing happened to me since. Yes, I'd gladly make an app for your company because you agreed to do it but apparently you lack the skills. Oh, you've been fucking around for a month doing nothing? That's sad but sure, I can do it by Sunday, I don't have plans for the weekend anyway. You say you can't pay me more than what I earn in six hours doing my day job? And your boss should think you did it all by yourself? Well, let me consider this cool little opportunity. I'll be in touch, talk to you "soon"!1
-
That's actually something that happened fairly recently.. just that I didn't have the energy left at the time to write it down. That, or I got my ass too drunk to properly write anything.. not sure actually.
So on paper I'm unemployed, but I do spend some time still on pretty much voluntary work for HackingVision, along with a handful of other people.
At the time, we were just doing the usual chit-chat in the admin channel, me still sick in my bed (actually that means that I wasn't drunk but really tired for once.. amazing!) and catching up to what happened, but unable to do any useful work in this sick state. So, tablet, typing on glass, right. I didn't have any keyboard attached at the time.
One of the staff members (a wanketeer from India) apparently had an assignment in a few hours for which he needed to write a server application in Java. Now, performance issues aside, I figured.. well I've got quite a bit of experience with servers, as well as some with client-server protocols. So I got thinking.. mail servers, way too overengineered. Web servers.. well that could work, I've done some basic netcat webservers that just sent an HTTP 200 OK and the file, those worked fine.. although super basic of course. And then there's IRC, which I've actually talked to an InspIRCd server through telnet before (which by the way is pretty much the only thing that telnet is still useful for, something that was never its purpose, lol) and realized that that protocol is actually quite easy to develop around. That's why I like it so much over modern chat protocols like XMPP, MQTT and whatnot. So I recommended that he'd write a little IRC server in Java. Or even just a chatbot like I attempted to at the time, considering that that's - with a stretch of course - a sort-of server too.
His fucking response however, so goddamn fucking infuriating. "If the protocol is so easy, then please write me down how to implement it in Java."
Essentially do his fucking work for him. I don't know Java, but as a fucking HackingVision admin, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT HACKERS CAN'T STAND LAZY CUNTS THAT CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO GOOGLE SHIT!!! If I wanted to deal with cunts like that, I'd have opened the page inbox with all its Fb h4xx0ring questions, not the fucking admin chat!
And type it on a goddamn fucking piece of glass, while fucking sick?! Get your ass fucked by a bobs and vegana horny fuck from the untouchable caste, because that's where you fucking belong for expecting THAT from me, you fucking bhenchod.
But at least I didn't get my ass enraged like that to say that to him in the admin chat. Although that probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, to get his feet right back on the ground again.1 -
You know what i hate? Applying to jobs and never getting feedback--if a polite "we didn't hire you because x and y" is too damn hard, i would still rather a royal refusal over not hearing anything back at all. It's happened to me 3-4 times in a row now, probably going to be 5 - 6 soon enough. Seriously though, what is this shortage of devs everyone talks about? Because here i am with both hands and a leg in the air high as i could manage and you're not even acknowledging me? I even made a small React SPA once to satisfy a company's questions and show a bit of my competence--you think i ever got a reply from them? Shit, i didnt even get an auto reply. And from what ive read here on others' rants, im far from being alone. At least i could understand why they dont look at me (Bahamian, no degree, never had a dev job, etc.), but for proven programmers to go unnoticed the way they do is ridiculous.7
-
Why does almost everyone act as if the world they live in is perfect, or is supposed to be perfect?
This is about approaching IT infrastructures, but goes way beyond IT, into daily lives.
Daniel Kahneman wrote about the "Econs" - a mythical creature that behaves according to rules and rational thoughts, that everybody is guided by, as opposed to Humans, who are irrational, intuitive and emotional.
My beef is with a wider perception, beyond economical analysis, profit, investment and so on.
Examples:
Organization A uses a 15 year old system that is crappy beyond description, but any recent attempt to replace it have failed. Josh thinks that this is a crappy organization, any problem lies within the replacement of that system, and all resources should be devoted to that. Josh lives in a perfect world - where shit can be replaced, where people don't have to live with crappy systems. Josh is stupid, unless he can replace that old system with something better. Don't be Josh. Adapt to the fucking reality, unless you have the power to change it.
Peter is a moron who downloads pirated software with cracks, at the office. He introduced a ransomware that encrypted the entire company NAS. Peter was fired obviously, but Sylvia, the systems administrator, got off easily because Peter the moron was the scapegoat. Sylvia truly believes that it's not her fault, that Peter happened to be a cosmic overgrown lobotomized amoeba. Sylvia is a fucking idiot, because she didn't do backups, restrict access, etc. Because she relied on all people being rational and smart, as people in her imaginary world would be.
Amit finished a project for his company, which is a nice modern website frontend. Tom, the manager says that the website doesn't work with Internet Explorer 8, and Amit is outraged that Tom would even ask this, quoting that IE8 is a dinosaur that should've been euthanized before even hatching. Amit doesn't give a shit about the fact that 20% of the revenue comes from customers that use IE8, what's more important to him is that in his perfect imaginary world everybody uses new hardware and software, and if someone doesn't - it's their fault and that's final. Amit is a fucking asshole. Don't be like Amit.
React to the REAL world, not what you WANT the world to be. Otherwise you're one of them.
The real world can be determined by looking at all the fuck ups and bad situations, admit that they happen, that they're real, that they will keep happening unless you do something that will make them impossible to happen or exist.
Acting as if these bad things don't exist, or that they won't exist because someone would or should change it, is retarded.10 -
You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT
I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF
dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.
Dude even said wow.
I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"
Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.
*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead8 -
SWIFT!!!!! I understand that you're a relatively new language so I forgave you for all of your wrong doings..BUT WHAT THE FINGER IS THIS SHIT YOU HAVE IMPLEMENTED IN YOUR STRING DATATYPE? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU FORM A CHARACTER FROM AN EMPTY STRING? AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SUBSCRIPT OPERATOR? WHY NOT JUST ADOPT THE "\0" AS OTHER LANGUAGES? But NOOOOO...We're Apple we'll not adopt it..I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT STUPIDITY AND LUCK OF INNOVATION RAN IN THE IPHONE TEAM BUT APPARENTLY ITS EVERYWHERE..Its annoying because the String datatype is one of the most common and basic data types so the last thing you expect is this shit..APPLE........SERIOUSLY AND SINCERELY FUCK OFF4
-
*Sigh
Every single one of us here loathe this question "Hey can you hack a Facebook account for me?"
Even worse when the one asking is your mom.
😶😶😶
(Backstory, she and her friend runs a store. Shit happened between them. The friend is the one who setup the store's Facebook page. Now posting shit on that page. She's not tech savvy. I can probably brute force her password. No 2FA)
Dilemma. Dilemma.8 -
!dev
So, the house next door to me is being renovated into half a dozen apartments. This process has been ongoing for like 4 years of here-and-there houseflipper failboating, and if I had to guess, 3 owners worth of this fuckery.
The latest shitheel trying to polish this turd into something saleable has had it sit partially covered with plastic for months, mostly getting rained on. One crew came by last week and put half the thermal shielding up before something happened and they left. Then half of it fell off the house, into my yard. Nice person that I am I gathered it all up and left it in the various excavated pools of water on their property in which I can only imagine they are busily raising farm to table mosquitoes for the local market.
FF to today and I see a crew pull up to the house and start nailing plywood to the side of the house with no thermal pad underneath it. Which is a legit code violation and a mold hazard, but yolo amirite? I chat up some of the guys and find out that they were scheduled to install the plywood today (apparently he'd run out of money for the nice modular siding they used on the back half) and the owner didn't give a shit if the rest of the work was done. Meanwhile shit is still falling off the house onto my house, but also wgaf. 🚬
Tl;Dr the people trying to flip the house next to mine were obviously IT managers in a previous life.6 -
Navy story time again. Lots of blabbering, you have been warned.
I haven't written for some time, due to paperwork bullshit that can be easily automated by even the most shitty database... no, scratch that, the simplest Excel spreadsheet with basic formulae. But I digress.
On my quest to justify myself being unproductive, I'll share with you a small story I omitted from this post:
https://devrant.com/rants/2099473/...
The lunacy of the man involved, while certainly entertaining after a few years (and nautical miles) away, is certainly disturbing and most certainly true. (Late disclaimer: ALL my rants are not made-up. This is shit that truly happened before my very eyes, and while I was sober.)
After I set up some cute little stuff to try and get the CO interested, in order to give me permission (and a cut from the budget) to proceed in restructuring and upgrading the ship's net, I tried a more direct approach: connecting and setting up his work laptop with the ship's GPS, radar and AIS receptor via ethernet, and installing an ECS system so that he could monitor the ship's position, movement and targets from his office (the fat fuck couldn't be bothered to go up one deck). A day later he called me to his office.
Expecting some kind of... praise? Permission? Complaints on the font style? whatever, I entered. Oh, how I wish I had not.
I was barraged for TWO FUCKING HOURS by the CO, complaining that I was taking care of the net and PCs and neglecting the Navigation department (I was not, automation is my friend combating moronic paperwork). I would have thought it as just another failed attempt, but after TWO MINUTES from the end of the barrage:
CO:... so, my personal laptop is kind of slow, you think you can do anything about it?
ME: ....................
I.
SHIT.
YOU.
NOT.
What was rushing through my mind was somewhere between bipolar and multiple personality disorder, with the third option of Alzheimer's disease. I half-expected some Candid Camera crew to pop out, but no.
CO: So? Can you speed up my laptop?
ME: ............................... I don't know, sir, I have paperwork to take care of.
CO: That can wait, surely you can do something about it, you know computers.
ME: [really long pause, blood pressure rising] I'll look into it in a moment, sir.
And I never did. I told of the incident to the ship's doctor, and he expressed great worry over this, but in the end, nothing was done.
My sympathies to everyone who has to interact with non-technicians of the homo sapiens species (ironically, homo sapiens means "wise man" in latin... the irony).3 -
Upon a certain angry Germans recommendation I started getting into flutter.
Best fucking decission ever. Shit is simple and makes sense.
I ain't tagging him cuz he don't like being tagged.
But thanks man!! You know who you are!
The code makes sense, the widget tree hierarchy makes sense, knowing the native counterpart helps whenever the flutter portion ain't doing it(has not happened yet) and dart is really a good language.
The tooling is fucking genius, funny enough the emulators open quicker with vs code than android studio or xcode(fuck those two btw, 2 fucking years of hate towards them ain't going away) and building designs programatically make waaay more sense.
Flutter gave me back my hope for mobile development. This is google knowing that they fucked up Android development and fixing it and schooling IOS development for taking a good set of languages(obj c and swift) nd fucking them up with their shit way of development.
I am in love.9 -
Got a complaint from users of my project. It’s finally happened: people give a shit to tell me I’m doing a bad job. Let’s fucking gooooo3
-
Sooo this happened when I got hired to "redesign" a website. I opened up one of the WYSIWYG areas and holy shit there were literally hundreds of break tags.
11 -
Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.
Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!7 -
I was at a company for almost 5 years (my first job too). Got fired a few months ago by my mentor/the lead dev who was there for about 3 - 3 1/2 years of my time there. He left for better opportunities, he knew the company was pretty shitty to work for. He comes back (why???) and fires me about 1-2 months after his return.
Reason why, I'm unhealthy for the company and the company is unhealthy for me (not because I'm a bad dev, cool I guess). I don't disagree (a lot happened while he was gone, but he doesn't really know what happened) but this happens after I have a "discussion" with him about how I don't know how to prioritize my work anymore with new policies regarding billables and pms and management pushing me in multiple directions in regards to what I should be working on. (There's more to this but I'm trying to finish this rant eventually.)
I'm not surprised but I'm pissed at the company for never really improving and I'm pissed at him for drinking the kool-aid so to speak.
I want this company to fail. I'm surprised it hasn't. The place was a shit show when it came to the Dev department and my old mentors return didn't help much either.
I should get over it and move on but this place was like a toxic relationship I couldn't bring myself to leave (as much as I wanted to leave and knew I should). And there's so much to unpack with this place.
I'm hoping dev rant can be a good place to unpack the shit I dealt with there over the years so I don't burden my friends and family with my thoughts.
So yeah, hey ya'll and welcome to my rant(s).5 -
My progression of learning git rebase:
Year 1: WTF just happened?! Where is my code?! *deletes and re-clones repo*
Year 2: Ok if I do it suuuper carefully I can get the other dev's one-line change into my branch...shit...shit...wait...fuck...oh lol it worked.
Year 3: Oh yeah let me organize my commits real quick. *drop pick pick squash reword pick fixup drop pick* *git push -f* 😎6 -
Can someone please explain to me WHY THE FUCK non devs feel like they know shit. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW YOU FOUND SOME UNTRUE SHIT ON GIZMODO. I'VE KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THIS SHIT, AND YOU LOOKED UP THE FIRST EXAMPLE YOU COULD FIND THE SUPPORTS YOUR CASE. The most recent time this happened was OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS when this DUMBASS that my friends and I BULLY but HE STILL HANGS AROUND. (By bully, yes sometimes we are mean to him, but we're not out to get him. He comes to us and we don't wanna be with him). So after the SEVENTH groupchat (on two apps) he created that night, HE WANTED TO SWITCH BACK TO ANOTHER APP I SPENT A WEEK TRYING TO GET THEM TO SWITCH FROM PREVIOUSLY (It was whatsapp, i got them to switch to telegram). THEN HE TRIED to ARGUE with me about how TELEGRAM wasnt secure. HE SEARCHED "is telegram secure" on Google and chose the FIRST ARTICE from the previously mentioned, GIZMODO which says that TELEGRAM chats ARENT ENCRYPTED by DEFAULT. HOW THE FUCK DO DUMBASSES GET THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY. There's a difference between ENCRYPTION and END TO END DUMBASS. Then he told me whatsapp is more secure than telegram. NO ITS FUCKING NOT. In telegram, your encryption keys CHANGE every chat, or every 100 messages. To my best research, whatsapp only has ONE key per USER. I could go on forever about how chat backups in whatsapp are UNENCRYPTED or how FACEBOOK stores your data, but blocked you works to.6
-
Normal day with some guy that worked at the company. the guy was in his 11 month when this happened. and this was just one of so many wtf moments with him.
Me: hey man, you're gotta work with some frontend stuff, we need you to run mysql(for the backend) and apache. so install mamp, is super easy to get that working.
Me: please just donwload the pkg from this link and click `next` until finish.
Dude: okay, will do
-- some 10 minutes later. --
Dude: hey man I got a problem
Me: Whaaaat? you shouldn't, that shit never gives problem, everyone(literally) have that installed in their macs
Dude: it's true, I got an error, it says: `mamp it's not compatible with osx` ...
Me: oh man, that's so strange, mamp is likely made just for osx(and windows), and also we got all the macs with at least 1 version behind the latest osx. :(
Dude: it's true. I need help with that
-- now I go to the guy's mac and see the `error` message --
Me: hey, this says nothing like being uncompatible man, this CLEARLY says that can't be opened for *reads the error for him* . man, don't make things up, at least try to translate the error and give me the exact information of your `error`.
Dude: ...
Me: man please... I know you have your issues with the language, I do too, a LOT, but I use google translator if I can't read the shit. I can't sit here with you as your translator. -___-
7 -
(Follow-up to https://devrant.com/rants/2049733)
Went back to that bar today that I had a fight at about a month ago. Asked about that flash drive I lost there, yada yada.. bar owner gave me her part of the story. Apparently she didn't find that flash drive. So that still leaves me to refresh the keys it stored I guess.
"So you got pretty drunk here, had a ton of Duvels, went to the toilet, and barged out all of a sudden, followed by that incident. But you sat for so long in there.. it was suspicious."
Meanwhile I'm here like "yeah yeah that's what happened, that how I recall it too.. but suspicious? Did she think that I was hacking shit from there?"
"I thought you were taking drugs in there."
".. Oh. ... Not to worry, I don't take drugs."2 -
Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...4
-
Finally after one year I understood how to carry out my job. I should do exactly NOTHING. I stopped completely organizing the team, solving bugs, helping the team developing and solving problems, explore and try stupid things said by CEO, PM and consultants.
I stopped for 2 months now and nothing happened.
I work remotely, nobody knows if I'm working or not, because nobody cares really about priorities, bugs, customers or products development.
I gain 10K$ (ten thousand) per month.
I attend skype meeting once per week or less. I say yes to everything, nobody gives a shit to what I say, even if they consider me the technical director. Actually in the meetings I only take care of being considered the technical director.
I achieved the mythical 4 hours working week.
I keep skype open in all my devices in order to answer promptly in case of problem, wherever I'm am, that's the most important thing right now.
I attended some meeting from the toilet or from the bedroom.
It was hard. To understand that the board is only after the next funding and not looking to develop a real product. It's hard to pretend helping people while thinking inside you "fuck you".
You have to let go the "guilt": if you can't login, I KNOW that is my fault, that there is a bug, that is possible to solve it, that resources and planning are needed etc. That's guilt. Just let go and say "next release" and never include it in the next release.
In this way I discovered that some users are paying the application even if they can't login.
The company is not going to disappear in the next 5 years. On the contrary, it's going to receive more money.
So the only "bad" thing is, what will I write in my CV in 5 years?19 -
this just happened 10 seconds ago...
My mother wanted to upload a Picture to an stupid online forum... she already had a screenshot... so i told her to open "Imgur.org" she opened it and i showed her how to upload a Picture, we then uploaded that picture and posted the link on that forum... we then opened the link... and she was like: "OMG! Other people can now do shit with my PC!!"
which i replied to: Its a Picture...
She again was like: BUT LOOK!
I again its a Picture, they cant do anything...
I got mad and walked out...3 -
Major update went good through the IT side.
Somehow on a different department, some moron botched up what he had to do (he has a technical role, but he is no programmer or analyst or anything like that and even though he is an admin (with big fucking quotes) no one here would call him so.
He fucks his shit up, and the DBA and myself have to go and fix it. Fine, whatever.
Why am I ranting? Because this bitch sent an email tagging half the board and every other VP stating that it was I.T's fault this happened. Somehow, she had forgotten that she had tagged me into that email since she tagged the Web Developer section email.
I did not give two flying fucks and in front of everyone called them out on what actually happened. I was polite and used some very non-directed "bitch it was you" comments. But it pissed me off that she did that shit behind I.T's back.
Everyone in that email replied saying thank you.....except for her.
I will slap a hoe, I swear.13 -
Today the 'restrict account' feature I made hit production. Restricted an account and got an angry email with broken english.
Funniest shit that happened today. Made me proud.
To top it off we might get free loadtesting lol16 -
Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'
Should be:
var moment = require('moment')
What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment
Fucking hybrid shit apps...13 -
What is your story of your first encounter with a Linux Distro?
Here's mine (Slight long version) –
Back in my 8th grade I used to buy Tech magazines that used to have DVDs filled with random updated contents like Audio/Video tools, Wallpapers and other stuff. There used to be this "Linux Distro of the Month" section that I used to ignore because I didn't know what it is.
But one issue of the magazine had a review of this "amazing new" Ubuntu 10.10. I read it and at first I thought it's some kind of theme for Windows (I know). But then I tried it out on my HP Compaq nx6120 which had a pure BIOS. No UEFI shit. Ubuntu came with it's wubi installer and it installed Ubuntu smoothly like a normal software. Later I discovered that it is a completely different operating system that doesn't run anything from my Windows. I was upset about it and I booted back to Windows.
But I never removed it. I felt like exploring what it was and why people use it.
It's almost 9 years later and I'm so glad with what had happened back then.11 -
Ok friends let's try to compile Flownet2 with Torch. It's made by NVIDIA themselves so there won't be any problem at all with dependencies right?????? /s
Let's use Deep Learning AMI with a K80 on AWS, totally updated and ready to go super great always works with everything else.
> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> CUDA versions overwrite
> Library paths not updated ever
> Torch 0.4.1 doesn't work so have to go back to Torch 0.4
> Flownet doesn't compile, get bunch of CUDA errors piece of shit code
> online forums have lots of questions and 0 answers
> Decide to skip straight to vid2vid
> More cuda errors
> Can't compile the fucking 2d kernel
> Through some act of God reinstalling cuda and CuDNN, manage to finally compile Flownet2
> Try running
> "Kernel image" error
> excusemewhatthefuck.jpg
> Try without a label map because fuck it the instructions and flags they gave are basically guaranteed not to work, it's fucking Nvidia amirite
> Enormous fucking CUDA error and Torch error, makes no sense, online no one agrees and 0 answers again
> Try again but this time on a clean machine
> Still no go
> Last resort, use the docker image they themselves provided of flownet
> Same fucking error
> While in the process of debugging, realize my training image set is also bound to have bad results because "directly concatenating" images together as they claim in the paper actually has horrible results, and the network doesn't accept 6 channel input no matter what, so the only way to get around this is to make 2 images (3 * 2 = 6 quick maths)
> Fix my training data, fuck Nvidia dude who gave me wrong info
> Try again
> Same fucking errors
> Doesn't give nay helpful information, just spits out a bunch of fucking memory addresses and long function names from the CUDA core
> Try reinstalling and then making a basic torch network, works perfectly fine
> FINALLY.png
> Setup vid2vid and flownet again
> SAME FUCKING ERROR
> Try to build the entire network in tensorflow
> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> Doesn't work with TF
> HAVE TO FUCKING DOWNGEADE DRIVERS TOO
> TF doesn't support latest cuda because no one in the ML community can be bothered to support anything other than their own machine
> After setting up everything again, realize have no space left on 75gb machine
> Try torch again, hoping that the entire change will fix things
At this point I'll leave a space so you can try to guess what happened next before seeing the result.
Ready?
3
2
1
> SAME FUCKING ERROR
In conclusion, NVIDIA is a fucking piece of shit that can't make their own libraries compatible with themselves, and can't be fucked to write instructions that actually work.
If anyone has vid2vid working or has gotten around the kernel image error for AWS K80s please throw me a lifeline, in exchange you can have my soul or what little is left of it5 -
Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...
At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...
At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...
In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...
A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...
Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman6 -
!rant
Today was a lot. I heard water outside and some shouting, come to find out the upstairs neighbor’s pipe burst. Spent the next hour or two collecting as much water as possible in the coolers we have to try to move it to the storm drain and protect the downstairs neighbor’s apartment. You'd be amazed how much water can fish out of a broken pipe.
Spent a nice hour or two chatting with the downstairs neighbor after they asked what happened (having just realized the water was shut off and having missed all the activity).
Was just settling down from that when I heard a kid screaming for help and panicked shouting. Come to find out my favorite neighbor is unresponsive and can't breathe and her kids are all panicked and waiting for the ambulance. The 911 operator is trying to give them instructions but they're too panicked to listen. I get them to move her onto the floor, then finally get the oldest to do chest compressions until the ambulance shows up. The paramedics managed to get her back, she was breathing on her own and talking, and take her to the hospital but it took a long time to get there. Hugged the heck out of everyone who seemed like they needed it and tried to say comforting shit that it seemed like they needed to hear.
I haven't felt this emotionally tapped out in a long-ass time.7 -
So lotta shit happened lately, life-wise and i don't know why but i have to share it:
There is a point after depression and being stressed out - it's this "well shit will work out someway.."-state of mind, where you have like an inner peace and everything is fine.
It's nice here.😪4 -
Every standup, we had to make a skype call to the other office in UK. At that office was the QA lead and for this project she was on our team. One day she came in late to the standup and just looked pissed or sick or SOMETHING. This was particularly strange because usually she was incredibly cheery and "the life of the meeting" in a sense. After everybody's update, she was asked if she had anything to say. She started fucking mumbling some shit I couldn't hear because of the bad audio quality, then she progressively raised her voice until finally she was yelling and cussed out the PM, ending it off with "ALL FUCKING BECAUSE OF YOU, <PM>!!" Everybody was just fucking speechless and confused as fuck. Nobody understood what her fucking issue was, but the PM (on my end of the call) was not taking that shit! "LOOK LADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR COMPLAINT IS BUT THIS IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE." Blah blah, he gave it to her good, told her they needed to take it offline, ended the call abruptly and then turned to all of us and said, "Jesus Christ, what drugs is she taking?" To this day I have no idea what the hell happened but it's still one of my funniest memories at that company.1
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Did some updates to an older Web Forms website built by a previous SENIOR developer who is a notoriously horrible developer.
Now before I start, you have to understand this guy studied at a University and had been working for at least two years before I even started working. He is supposed to know the basic shit mentioned below.
This also happened a couple of days ago, so I have calmed down since then so I apologise for the relaxed tone. My next rant will contain a lot more swearing.
This fucking guy did the stupidest shit imaginable.
On the details view of a post|page|article|product|anything that would require a details view this jackass would load the data from the DB.
Using an OleDbConnection, OleDbDataAdapter, DataTable and the poorest writter fucking sql statements you have ever seen. All of these declared in the Page_Load method.
There was literally no reason for him to use OleDb instead of Sql, but he simply did not know any better.
He especially liked: "select * from tbl where id = " & Request("T") & ""
ZERO fucking checks to see if the value is even passed or valid, nothing. He did not even check whether the DataTable had any rows.
He then proceeded to use only the Heading column of the returned row to change the page's title.
Stupidly I assumed the aspx page will be in a better state. Fuck NO!
This fucktard went, added server tags to the opening of the asp:Content tag, copied that shit he used to fetch the data and pasted it between the server tags.
He did not know how to access the DataTable mentioned above from the aspx page!
He did this on every fucking project he worked on. Any place that required <%= %> to display data instead of using asp server controls, this cunt copied whatever was written in the code behind and pasted everything between server tags.
Fuck I could go on forever, but I think this is enough for my first rant.
2 -
After I spent 4 years in a startup company (it was literally just me and a guy who started it).
Being web dev in this company meant you did everything from A-Z. Mostly though it was shitty hacky "websites/webapps" on one of the 3 shitty CMSs.
At some point we had 2 other devs and 2 designers (thank god he hired some cause previously he tried designing them on his own and every site looked like a dead puppy soaked in ass juice).
My title changed from a peasant web dev to technical lead which meant shit. I was doing normal dev work + managing all projects. This basically meant that I had to show all junior devs (mostly interns) how to do their jobs. Client meetings, first point of contact for them, caring an "out of hours" support phone 24/7, new staff interviews, hiring, training and much more.
Unrealistic deadlines, stress and pulling hair were a norm as was taking the blame anytime something went wrong (which happened very often).
All of that would be fine with me if I was paid accordingly, treated with respect as a loyal part of the team but that of course wasn't the case.
But that wasn't the worst part about this job. The worst thing was the constant feeling that I'm falling behind, so far behind that I'll never be able to catch up. Being passionate about web development since I was a kid this was scaring the shit out of me. Said company of course didn't provide any training, time to learn or opportunities to progress.
After these 4 years I felt burnt out. Programming, once exciting became boring and stale. At this point I have started looking for a new job but looking at the requirements I was sure I ain't going anywhere. You see when I was busy hacking PHP CMSs, OOPHP became a thing and javascript exploded. In the little spare time I had I tried online courses but everyone knows it's not the same, doing a course and actually using certain technology in practice. Not going to mention that recruiters usually expect a number of years of experience using the technology/framework/language.
That was the moment I lost faith in my web dev future.
Happy to say though about a month later I did get a job in a great agency as a front end developer (it felt amazing to focus on one thing after all these years of "full-stack bullshit), got a decent salary (way more than I expected) and work with really amazing and creative people. I get almost too much time to learn new stuff and I got up to speed with the latest tech in a few weeks. I'm happy.
Advice? I don't really have any, but I guess never lose faith in yourself.3 -
So my parents got speakers integrated into their monitor. A few years ago (like 3-4) they made me turn off the sound because it annoyed them since all they did were playing some shitty flash games and some office work. Now they needed the sound back on and this is how it happened.
1. Confirm they plugged the right cable in. I know them so I knew that could be a problem
2. Made them download Teamviewer because I know they can't even doubleclick without guidance
Now the juicy part was to tell them they need to turn on sound on the monitor. As I was watching via teamviewer I saw them trying to click on the menu items from said monitor. Took me 5 minutes to explain that their mouse can't do shit on that because they need to navigate with the buttons underneath the monitor.
Turned out they couldnt get things right and I had no idea what they were seeing because they explanations went like "All I can see is Main Menu and Exit." - "Is that really all dad?" "Yes thats all. Main Menu, Brightness and Exit" turnes out the middle part is interchangable like "Brightness, Saturation, etc..."
After 2 hours I gave up and told them to pick up my speakers tomorrow -
In the 1990s code editors on the Mac could insert the omitted function prototypes into a header file with one command; and even automatically keep the header declaration updated when you changed the source definition (name, parameters, etc)
Today in Xcode you have to copy and paste the stupid function header definition from the source code into the header file. What happens if you leave the "{" that got copied accidentally? OMFUCKING LORD, it triggers all sorts of erroneous errors in all the **source code** files where it is included instead of the header with the stray "{"
I started to question whether nor not I knew C, if gravity worked, if the sun would come up. I wasted a day of dicking around in StackOverflow trying to chase down all these insane error messages which make no sense in Xcode.
I just **happened** to see at the bottom of one of the source files, after all the erroneous error, a very important error:
"};" Expected
So I started deleting code from the bottom up in this source file, same error every time. Got to the point where the includes were all that was left.
FUCK YOU XCODE and the hacks that designed that horrendous piece of shit
Xcode is only free if your time is worth absolutely nothing.11 -
On negotiation and signing contract
================================
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
=========================
Start working for about 1 month
=========================
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
===================================
Weeks later:
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
================================
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.
2 -
Lately I have been overthinking a lot. I am stressing myself out on every single decision believing that decisions I make today will define my tomorrow.
In hindsight, all the major and positive impact that have happened in my life were the decisions I took on the fly without much underlying research. The executional part did have me struggle a little but almost all of the best things happened to me were unplanned.
Funnily this has been my philosophy since years but guess what, I failed to follow it this time.
My overthinking and over planning caused me to mess up a little leading to a lot of unwanted anxieties.
Now let's reflect a little on the past, when my first relationship ended.. wait.. even earlier..
When I was in 5th standard, I was crazy bullied at school but I was happy go lucky and things turned out in my favour throughout till date.
I used to do what I loved and enjoyed. I literally never worried or thought about future. Not even once, things just fell in place for me miraculously.
When my first relationship ended, I was shattered. The darkest time of my life and me being all alone, I came out strong.
I used to live happy. I used to do stuff that I loved. I used to not care about what people thought. No socials for me. I used to follow random dark or counter culture stuff and be a little rebel that I am.
I remember, she and I used to go for fuck tons of events, hangout at waterfront of the city, spend time together and just be ourselves.
I never used to compete, compare, or conflict with anyone.
devRant was (and still is) a digital home for me. Wonderful phase of life.
Then shit went south. I joined Reddit. A girl told me about a pen pal app. Met another girl there.
Joined Telegram again to be in touch with her. She wasn't interested but I stayed on Telegram.
I could pick up any girl in minutes and do so effortlessly.
Slowly the twin extrovert in me came out. I started building and maintaining insanely awesome network.
Started spending more time on Reddit and Telegram.
Joined a bunch of professional communities. Career sky rocketd.
I was still happy and living a gala life at this stage.
Slowly, I realised I was underpaid (via professional communities). That unsettled me.
I frantically started hunting for jobs. 2020 and COVID-19 hit. Being indoors sucked more.
Became more aggressive on job hunt, money, building skills, work work work...
Met a hoe who fucked my emotions and ethics even further.
Got a high paying job. WLB went negative.
I started losing myself. I forgot my hobbies. I don't know what happiness is. I don't remember when I last smiled. I started planning my finances. Overthinking and stressing about shit troubled me into sleepless nights followed by early morning calls made things worse to my health.
I lost the clarity of my life. I FUCKING LOST ME.
I want myself back and I am gonna work for it. That happy little rebel Floyd who never gave a fuck about other's opinion on him or his beliefs. That dude who was shy to talk to girls. The guy who'd follow his passion and not society of high paying jobs or shit.
I almost got my finances and taxation sorted. Now I'll work to get my office timings in place. If not then I'll switch and find a job in UK/EU with a good WLB. And at the same time I'll pursue my hobbies.
Enough of rat race shit. Money has always been an outcome of my hard work and high work ethics. I want to live a life and I am willing to trade of extremely high paying/stressful FAANG jobs for a small company keeping me happy.
I'll be the happy Floyd that I was once was.
Because, the heart wants what the heart wants :)2 -
This happened today
My Manager: How is the progress so far on the search module?
Me(After implementing some crazy shit requirements): It's all set. APIs are working well against the mock in-memory database. I need an actual database to run my unit tests. Where do we have it?
My manager: Let's pretend that there is no database at this moment. Go-ahead with rest of your activities.
Me(IN MY MIND): F*CK you a** hole. You don't know the first thing of software development! Which a** hole promoted you as a manager!!!
Me(TO HIS FACE): Ah.. okay!! As you wish!3 -
What.. the actual... fuuuuuck?!
Browsing through changes on TFS (yeah, yeah boo me for using TFS instead of git if you like, I don't care, most people use/prefer TFS here, so I conform 'to the standards'..)
Anyhow, going through changes, looking for the one where some comment appeared..
'a wild comment appeared'.. tadaaah!
Checked the rest of changes.. Hm.. Someone did a validity check.. that returns the 'false' if not passed.
// OK, great! They are finally testing their shit and fixing stuff..
But apparently then they decided it is OK to do all the shit anyways.. so WTF?!
Why even bother validating it?! Oh yeah, forgot... cuz in case it returned false YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO LET SOME STUFF HAPPEN!! But they weren't assigned with that exact task I guess..
TO DO:
- do the validation algo // fml, not going into how fucked up that was written..but it was horrible!
- do validity check where appropriate/needed
- test validity check and that it doesn't break functionality
+ check if the validation actually logically works?! nope, not on my to do list, not my job..
All done, better not actually do something that requires you to think.. :\
How the fuck that happened?! How can one person be assigned to check if something is stupid/wrong?! and when checking (&confirming) still lets the customer do that shit anyways?! What's the point?! O.O13 -
Started work: 9:30am
Finished work: 9:30pm
Finally finished my "basically done" ticket from two days ago, though I'm still not sure if it's behaving correctly. It deals with the Apple wallet and iPhone notifications, and all I have is an emulator, so. 😕 Things work as expected maybe half the time? and idfk why. I'm going to leave the actual testing to QA since they have actual iPhones and it'll run on staging on actual servers with actual connectivity and actual pushes, so maybe then things will actually make sense. Until then? So done.
Started drinking: 9:30pm
Finished drinking: TBD
<media lyrics="I don't know what the fuck just happened but I don't really care, imma get the fuck up outta here. Fuck this shit i'm out" />1 -
What the hell happened to devRant?
So we have this person who is digging up old posts, harassing people (@LotsOfCaffeine here, me as well, probably more) and some fucking how is getting 14 updoots while obviously being, or at least portraying themselves as a misogynistic hater of everyone and everything. What the actual hell is up with devRant? How are there FOURTEEN OTHER PELPLE who AGREE WITH THIS PERSON. How many active users are we here? I'm sure 14 users is a pretty significant percentage of the active user base.
People, I feel bad for this person. I've been a bit of a dick to them and so have many more, but what the hell happened to devRant, the place where you went to rant about stupid colleagues and bosses, share funny coding stories and other bulshittery? We're turning into fucking 4chan with politics, sexism and racism being the main story line here. I dont fucking get it. I'm on the brink of just leaving. I'm so fucking tired of this shit...
35 -
Let me just get right down to it.
FUCK YOU Hewlett-fucking-Packard FOR YOUR SHITTY LAPTOPS! Don't you even keep your customer's needs in mind when you design these things? Besides all the bloatware you stuff into the Windows you ship it with, at least make the quality of your shit better. These flimsy screens and loose hinges, I've had to get that shit replaced multiple times in just the past year.
Want to upgrade to an SSD or plug in more RAM? Guess what! I've to tear the whole thing apart! Keyboard, palm rest, all if it! What even happened to just popping a cover at the bottom to swap out the hard drive!? I have to fucking congratulate you, you fucking cunts, for making an easy process as difficult as it can fuckin possibly get. You guys deserve an award for this, preferably presented to you, shoved up your asses.10 -
Holy shit. I'm actually vibrating after watching the FH launch. Seeing the two falcon 9s landing at the same time looks straight out of a sci-fi movie :P
Also, I wonder what happened to the core 🤔4 -
Got pulled out of bed at 6 am again this morning, our VMs were acting up again. Not booting, running extremely slow, high disk usage, etc.
This was the 6 time in as many weeks this happened. And always the marching orders were the same. Find the bug, smash the bug, get it working with the least effort. I've dumped hundreds of hours maintaining this broken shitheap of a system, putting off other duties to keep mission critical stations running.
The culprits? Scummy consultants, Windows 10 1709, and Citrix Studio.
Xen Server performed well enough, likely due to its open source origins and Centos architecture.
Whelp. DasSeahawks was good and pissed. Nothing like getting rousted out of bed after a few scant hours rest for patching the same broken system.
DasSeahawks lost his temper. Things went flying. Exorcists were dispatched and promptly eaten.
Enough. No consultants, no analysts, and no experts touched it. No phone calls, no manuals, not even a google search. Just a very pissed admin and his minion declaring blitzkrieg.
We made our game plan, moved the users out, smoked our cigs, chugged monster, and queued a gnu-metal playlist on spotify.
Then we took a wrecking ball to the whole setup. User docs were saved, all else was rm -r * && shred && summon -u Poseidon -beast Land_Cracken.
Started at 3pm and finished just after midnight. Rebuilt all the vms with RDP, murdered citrix studio (and their bullshit licenses), completely blocked Windows 10 updates after 1607, and load balanced the network.
So what do we get when all the experts are fired? Stabbed lightning. VMs boot in less than 10 seconds, apps open instantly, and server resources are half their previous usage state. My VMs are now the fastest stations in our complex, as they should be.
Next to do: install our mxgpu, script up snapshots and heartbeat, destroy Windows ads/telemetry, and setup PDQ. damn its good to be good!
What i learned --> never allow testing to go to production, consultants will fuck up your shit for a buck, and vendors are half as reliable over consultants. Windows works great without Microsoft, thin clients are overpriced, and getting pissed gets things done.
This my friends, is why admins are assholes.4 -
Here's one that involves Windows, Linux (at the same time!), WInZip, Python, Lua and Minecraft, sort of.
So, when I get depressed I often find that old 2011 Minecraft videos help a lot from the nostalgia boost. If its stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid. Anyways, I was thinking about how much fun it must have been to just fuck around with code and make something like Minecraft. Naturally, I got a huge code boner and really wanted to do something I hadn't in a while: binding c to a higher level language.
This time around, I wanted to try Python. C + Python seems like a good pair. I watched a tutorial and it seemed pretty interesting and simple enough but I remembered that I actually like Lua a lot better than Python, so I went to the download page of Lua.
The download is a tar.gz so I let out a sigh and start typing "WinZip" into google. But no, fuck that, I hate 3rd party decompression programs on Windows. They all just give me this eerie feeling.
"This would be so much fucking easier on Linux"...
I remember that I haven't tried the Windows Subsystem for Linux. I guess it's time, isn't it?
I read the docs of how to do it. Nice little touch, they tell you how to enable WSL from PowerShell but don't mention the GUI way to do it. It's genuinely a nice touch.
So I get everything installed and go to the app store to choose a distro. I want Ubuntu. I click the Install button...
...
... "Something unexpected happened"
Windows and their fucking useless error messages. Jesus, okay. I restart computer. Same issue. I update Windows. Same thing. Uninstall WSL. Reboot. Install WSL. Reboot. Same thing. HOLY SHIT.
Went to bed. Woke up. Tried to install Ubuntu.
"Yea ok lul i'll work this time for no reason"
Finally unzipped Lua.4 -
Oh wow, so many memorable co-workers, though typically not in a positive way. I guess the most memorable was this project manager who got his job solely through nepotism. He was a fucking moron, putting it lightly. He would rattle off buzzwords and jargon that he had randomly picked up in a completely nonsensical way, which made him sound even more ridiculous. He didn't seem to notice our blank stares.
Anyway, since he loved to show everyone just how awesome he was, he had to have the latest and greatest laptop. He had some top-of-the-line model which cost an insane amount of cash back in the day, but of course he got bored of it when something better came out six months later. So he decided to sell his old laptop.
Now, this was his personal laptop he was selling but we were about three months away from launching a top-secret project which had a seven figure budget and a lot riding on it. So what did this absolute goose do? He sold his laptop unformatted with a metric shit ton of confidential files and documents on it. As fate would have it... he sold it to someone who just so happened to work for a competing company.
Cut to about two and a half months later, around two weeks before the launch of this massive project, our competition comes out with something incredibly similar and beat us to market. Aghast, senior management then found out that they had obtained a treasure trove of confidential information from this numpty's laptop, handed to them on a silver platter.
The following Monday, with a sombre mood in the office, this guy cheerfully comes in through the door and is immediately yanked into the boardroom by management. What followed was around thirty minutes of brutal, relentless, non-stop shouting, table- banging and obscenities. When it finally stopped, the door quietly opened, this guy walks out as white as a sheet, turns towards the exit and left the building.
We never saw him again.4 -
This happened with one of our senior profs during the first year of my college. I wouldn't call him a dev if my life depended on calling him a dev but regardless, I narrate the story here.
We were "taught" C++ by some really dumb professors during our first year of college and it was mandatory that everyone cleared the subject regardless of what field of engineering the students chose. Having already done 2 years of C++, it was quite a breeze for me. But during the final lab exam, one of my friends requested my help in solving the quite tough question (for those beginners). Thinking the exam and teaching was unfair, I stupidly wrote the answer on a piece of paper and passed it to him. One of our teachers, who had seen him ask me, was lying low waiting to catch me in the act and she swooped in and busted our asses kicking us out of the exam hall and sending us to the HoDs office like some prize from her war against academic corruption.
In the end, I failed the exam for cheating and had to redo (not only the exam but the entire lab course).
When I returned to college during the summer vacations to redo the course, I first met the antagonist of our story. Having a huge head that looked like a deformed watermelon and an ego the size of a building, he assaulted us first with a verbal diarrhoea of his achievements as a CS professor. I quickly realised that I was in a class of people who had failed to grasp how to make a program that printed "Hello World". To make things shorter, every question the prof gave us, I managed to solve in a mere matter of minutes, several better than his own solutions. Not having expected a student who knew his shit, he was determined to play me down. He hurled tougher question at me and I knocked them over his enormous head piercing his ego. He asked me such questions as how to reverse 1000 and get 0001 and wasn't satisfied with the several ways I gave because none of it were what he had in mind (which turned out to be storing them in a fucking array and printing them in reverse. That's printing not reversing you dung beetle). I kept my calm throughout but on the day of the final exam, he set quite a tough paper for a class of people who had already failed once. To his utter shock and dismay, I aced that too and I produced flawless code. This man who has an MTech from one of the most reputed colleges of my country then proceeded to tell me that he had to cut my marks because I had used more than one function when the question had asked for one function ( it never said only one). I lost my shit and pointed out that since I was the programmer, it was my wish how I coded. I also explained to him how repeating code is a bad practice and one should use functions to reduce redundancy and keep the code clean. Nevertheless, he lost his shit and he threatened me with consequences as apparently "I didn't know who I was messing with". I handed over the paper and stormed out of the class (though he called me back and tried to argue more with me. I apologized for losing my shit and left when he was done talking). I ended up getting a 'C'. Totally worth it.4 -
This piece of shit backend developer who our company fired sometimes back, cause he was spreading fake things about the company.
He was tasked to develop the admin panel for the websites we were working on..
Now, turns out, he had put multiple backdoors in his piece of shitty code.. He happened to designed the front end of the admin panel as well, which contained more than 3k js files..wtf!! And he did all that even after getting paid enough for that shitty code.
The projects where that shit was used are now under attack.. And my already hectic life has gotten even more hectic..
Fuck you dumb fuck.. You piece of shit developer...
I'm never gonna let him take another job.. I'll mail out official complaints and character reports, along with his history to each and every fucking company that he starts working in.. I'm gonna be his worst nightmare..I swear.2 -
how to drive a programmer insane
hook the RTC so it ticks backwards
*you think i'm joking but this shit really happened, look up "Virus.DOS.BackTime"* -
Fuck this day!
Like really fuck it!
I have one of the most terrible crunch-time i ever experienced.
I’v been working 12+ hours every day with an ever-changing project timeline.
It started simple, we made a timeline, it was risky even then but it was realistic, we started working immideatly, everything looked good then a few days in BOOM! Actually our project management completely forgot client B’s projects soo we need to do that too with the same fucking deadline!!! (About 10x more work in waay less time)
Then this morning i got an email from the graphics team that we need to document our design process RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Because management wants documentations, in the middle of a fucking crunch-time.
Today it almost got physical with my project manager, i told him that he is not a programmer, i dont fucking care about his shit, just fuck off and let me work because we won’t be ready based on his unrealistic bs.
I feel like completely fucked over, like we were told 2 days before deadline that the whole company and people’s jobs depends on us now because if we wont finish this clients won’t pay.
WE ARE TWO PROGRAMMERS for studio of 10-12 people!!!
Soo i’w been thinking about getting the fuck out of here ASAP, i got an offer from a pretty big international gamedev company just what i needed, i already did their test before all of this, i passed A+.
We scheduled a skype interview for today. I had completely no time to prepare or chill off, just got out of the office, got into a starbucks and i’m interviewing. No time to even check my mic or internet, the call was so shit i could not hear anything, they neither because the plaza was loud af. Meanwhile im nervous about work, about the interview, about can they hear me at all because of the noise. I fucked it up. BIG time! I was so done i could not reverse a fucking string in c++ or explain what is a signed int!!!
Needless to say they said no.
Need time to think about it or realize what happened? Nice dreams. Back to the office and continue working.
I can’t do this anymore. My girlfriend came for me and took me home at 10pm but all i could do was stare at the floor on the subway. I don’t want people to lose their jobs but i just phisically can’t do this anymore.
Meanwhile any time i talk to my project manager about being tired he says like “hshshsbsb i have 60 hours in the last 4 days i got the worst part, i would be grateful in your place..” like fuck off dude, i dont give fuck about how you feel about this. This is not okay for me, you did this to the project, your fucking job is to manage it! I have one day off before going back to this, i have completely no idea what to do now...
[ps: this is not Nemesys. They did not let me work on my own stuff because i would be a competitor, so i left.]5 -
Writing a report in a word document for half an hour. Forgot to save in the middle.
You guys know what happened after that :(
2016 and we still have to deal with this freezing shit :(10 -
TL;DR: Printers suck. MS-Word sucks.
Yesterday I wanted to print a few participation certificates for my blender project students.
*Turns on printer, runs downstairs, gets paper, runs upstairs, puts paper in*
So I tried to print in word. Nothing happened. Printer was online. I checked queue: Nothing.
*a couple of tries later*
Okay, fuck it! I export it as a pdf and open it in edge (8 times. 8 documents. Edge is a neat pdf-viewer, fight me). I press print on one. It works. I print the others and check: They look shit. The images look like 25% resolution and 50% jpg compression. I check word.
It by default exports in low quality. Yea, thanks for asking me. I export pdfs again and check "high quality". Open them, print. Done.
These were like 30 wasted minutes and print color. And paper.
Btw they look fucking neat. I can't show them right now but gradient text headline, project name is a rendered and edited 3D object :D4 -
I fucking give up, AWS is retarded. It's the worst piece of shit retarded fucking platform ever created and every fucking engineer that touched the code should have their fingers chopped off, shoved down their throats and then be beheaded.
I can't believe that this retarded shit is the "industry standard" for deploying anything ever. Every fucking page feels and uses as if it was fucking outsourced to a different part of india everytime. The fucking pagination behaves differently in every fucking service. Half of the new services just gave up and run on their own fucking thing, because presumably their own platform just couldn't even handle it anymore and fucking CloudFormation is the fucking kingpin of this entire retarded platform. Slapping and unslapping shit together unttil it fucking get's stuck in an unresolvable state because half the fucking services need 58 unrelated permissions to perform a simple delete.
Fuck AWS, Fuck Amazon, Fuck Bezos, Fuck the Cloud and Fuck this whole "Serverless" scam. I really truly wish everyone that had anything to do with making AWS a reality just drop dead on the spot right now so that we can forget that aws ever happened.11 -
when I was a newbie I was given a task to upload a site.
I had done that many times before so I thought it wont be a big deal so I thought I never gave a try uploading through ftp.
Okay I began work on it the server was of godaddy and credentials I got were of delegate access.
right I tried connecting through ftp but it wasn't working thought there's some problem with user settings why shouldn't I create my own user to stay away from mess.
Now I creater my own user and could easily login but there were no files in it saw that by creating user my folder is different and I dont have access to server files I wanted to take backup before I do upload.
now I was thinking to give my user access to all files so I changed the access directory to "/" checked ftp again there was still no file.
don't know what happened to me I thought ahh its waste of time for creating ftp user it does nothing and I deleted my ftp account.
now I went through web browser to download data and earth skids beneath my foots. Holy fuck I lost all the data, all were deleted with that account it scared the shit out of me.
There were two sites running which were now gone.
Tried every bit to bring them back but couldn't do so. i contact support of godaddy they said you haven't enabled auto backup so you can't have them for free however they can provide their service in $150. Which is 15k in my country.
I decided to tell my boss about what happened and he got us away :p I wasn't fired gladly -
So when our campus expo happened, I immediately went to the apps I critiqued last time when I was a a panel judge in the IT dep’s oral defence. Fair enough, this happened:
- The app I failed (the tilting avoid boxes shit app) actually got optimized and got the first time user tutorial I was looking for. I was short of relieved of them listening and kept going despite me failing them (props to the girl btw)
- Second app was the same as before but added my recommendations, nonetheless still a good app
I am nothing short of amazed they actually listened to me so I think that’s a win for my part1 -
I am curious whether facebook IS listening to conversations or not.
Living with my girlfriend in a small appartment, yesterday we were talking about some shitty game we both played around 10 years ago, I was wondering whether the game still exists and googled on my phone (via LTE, not wifi) - yeah the game is still online and still the same shit.
Today she saw facebook sponsored ads to this game on HER facebook.
Today we watched a movie (Valerian and the thousands planets) - and there was this ship which looked similar to Millenium Falcon. I noted that in the midtime. After the movie - guess what - opened the facebook abd there was a sponsored ad to buy Millenium Falcon miniature or lego figure.
How? Randomized events? I do not think so. This was not the first time it happened.
Note: we are not native english speakers, maybe "millenium falcon" could be the only catch fb could achieve?16 -
Microtransactions are ruining the AAA gaming industry. I have always liked a good fighting game. So I looked at Street Fighter 6. Base game is $60, better version is more, bestest version is way more. Plus from reading reviews the fucking game is riddled with microtransactions.
What happened to buying a fucking game and not feeling like you got ripped off? When you bought the fucking game you got the whole fucking game.
I am disgusted with what these big names are doing. Ruining a once less sketchy industry.
I have even seen games that start out good. Then after a few patches they introduce the microtransaction bullshit. The Conan games are like that. The main complaint is adding this bullshit for base game items.
I wonder how they think this is good for their player base. They just fired the dude at Unity over trying to fuck over customers. Of course the company cannot be trusted so a lot of bigger labels are jumping ship to other engines.
What kinda pisses me off is I will try and find a decent game on Steam and look and look and all I find is garbage. How did Steam turn into such a trash heap? I won't touch an EA game (which is where that CEO from Unity came from). It is too bad because I really liked Mass Effect.
tldr - gaming has turned into shit.8 -
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.3 -
[Applies for RedHat OpenShift Beta on April]
this will be lit I said, since I was quite a bug reporter for Eclipse Che/Codenvy
[Took me until november to open up a ticket so they can take me in]
oooh shit this is lit
[Starts an Eclipse Che Workspace]
huh, why isn't it provisioning?
[inb4 OpenShift devs says its both a OSIO infra issue and a known bug in the OpenShift panel]
oof.
[Makes it work using workaround]
Woo this is gon-
[Haha no, Too Many tedirects for you]
REEEEEEEEEE
Conclusion: Openshift.io is a lit platform, it just happened to be very VERY beta.
I like the kubernetes "pods" tho3 -
Since this post was too long for devrant's 5k sign limit, I split it in several parts. I will try to make each part comprehensible as a standalone post. This is part one of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU? saga. A tale of empathy, competence and me being a dick, even though I didn't really want to be one. The part one is titled: "Bad times, good times". It may or may not have any value. It probably won't be funny.
I dedicate this to every single junior or entry level dev out there, struggling to find a job in their field.
=====
What do you think, how long does it take for junior with 6 months of commercial experience to find a dev job? If your answer was "idk", you're right. If your answer was "3 montths maybe", you're also right. At least this is how long it took for me. I am writing this at 2am, couple of hours after I managed to get employed. I am happy. My employer probably is happy too. My recruiters certainly are. The guy whose offer I had to reject after we were almost ready to sign the contract, on the other hand, isn't. He probably hates me. We'll get to that one post at a time.
Let's move back in time a little bit. It's December 12th, 2019. It is third month after I left my family home. I don't ha0ve a job, I was living first in my older brother's apartment for a month, then I started to rent my own. I have literally no money, I'm in debts. I moved out because reasons that would make up for another couple of posts, and for said reasons I refused to get 'any job just to pay the bills'. You can imagine that I was in pretty bad situation, and my psyche didn't really take that shit too well either. My daily meal was a bowl of rice with a little bit of self-hatred on top. Gourmet.
At that time, my daily routine would consist of practicing music, practicing programming, trying to get a job and surviving. Some of my friends just turned their backs against me. I did a small rework of my contact list as well. It was a *hard* time. I had sent my CV to around a hundred different companies with very little to no response. Some of them required at least bachelor's in IT for their frontend dev. Some of them required experience I didn't have. Some of them just didn't care to answer me. And then that one day happened. Three different people wanted to meet me and talk about internships/job offers. I will share what happened next in next posts, but here's a quick spoiler. I got a job. Yes, I am hyped.
Dear fellow Dev. This is a small reminder. If you're having bad times, just remember that if you focus on what you need to do, you will be just fine. Sometimes it may take days of struggling, sometimes it will take months of eating mostly rice. We all... Most of us have been through this.
Next posts will be less inspirationalstufftelling and more storytelling. Let this post be a setup, a small context to keep in mind upon reading my next stories. Because it is quite important. For me and for the story.3 -
Sometime this year(what is left of it) or the next I will be promoted to the senior developer in charge of two schools.....
I already thought that the level of work that me and the current senior do is way too fucking much for two people. Can't really fathom all of it just being me without seeing a substantial increase in salary(there is one in place for it...but shit man I know myself and even then I am going to bitch about it repeatedly)
What sucks the most is that I can't wing it or just not give a fuck(my preferred technique) since I really like my department, my coworkers and specially my manager.
Its her fault. It really is. She is just so likeable and I really can't imagine not giving her anything other than my 100 .
And before everyone states that it should be 100 from the get go. I am not particularly fond of giving my all for a company/institution. Never.
The reason is that I have been fucked with way more times than I can count and normally feel that regardless of how much of a total badass I can be I will never see the full compensation of it. It has happened on every other job. So instead of working for the company I work for my team. If I don't like my team I don't give a fuck.
I am a good worker, was an excellent soldier and I am an even better engineer. But there is always this feeling that I am being taken advantage of that I just can't shake off everywhere that I am working at.
Even now, the reason why the lead is leaving is because of how he was fucked over during the reclassification process. It was a slap to him in the face. Now this glorious institution will lose someone that is really amazing all because they take shit for granted.
Everyone is a number, an id. As irreplaceable as we are they treated him as someone that would just take shit and be fine with it.
And trust me, where I am at, we ARE irreplaceable, this ain't cali where you flip a stone and you get 100 node/php devs. This is 0 man ground where devs are fucking wizards that no one knows exist.
Oh well.3 -
Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...
After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...
So the following talk happened:
Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)
Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.
Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...
Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE! -
I dropped my kid off at preschool and went my way home.
She's 2 so I transport her on a stroller.
While coming back, I came across an old lady sweeping the sidewalk of her house, and it got narrow to pass through because there was a tree next to her.
I carefully slowed down as to not collide with her, and while going through, we noticed each other.
I did a tiny smile as a way of saying "hi" like I usually do to people on the street.
To which she gave back the most innocent and sweet smile I've ever seen a stranger give on the street.
I could honestly feel my heart crack as it happened.
I guess the stroller must have caused her sympathy thus that reaction.
(which is why I like going around with the stroller, because people tend to treat you nicely which feels nice, like butterflies)
I know it might seem like an ordinary story without a punchline, but let me explain that I walk this city everyday.
And even though the people here is very nice compared to other cities I've lived in, it is very rare to get smiled at with such joy.
You might still think that is not a good story. But I can explain its relevance.
As some of you know, I post triggering content on this account, closeted parts of me that I normally hide,
Such as sexual stuff, some people think I'm a degenerate but I like to think I just have normal sexual thoughts that don't affect others in real life AT ALL.
And I'm also very argumentative, again, some people might see it as troll behaviour. On my side though, I just don't like bullshit and call it out when I see it.
But with this post, I'm not trying to be more likable or negate all the weird shit I said. This post is just another closeted part of me, being emotional.
And the reason I hide that is because it is not generally well accepted when a man is sensitive, at least where I'm from.
For example, if a female friend at work had a nice haircut, sometimes I feel the urge to be like "omg girl you look so prettyyyy!!!!".
But if I did that I know what will happen based on DIRECT experience: people will assume I'm gay or weak, and will make fun of that.
Or the actual friend will think I'm hitting on her.
No, fucking thank you, not having that shit.
But even if people accepted that, they just can't conceive I'm also very direct and honest, so when they do get to know me better, they get shocked.
So what do I do? I just hide that. That might change in the future, but I don't have the energy right now to deal with some people's simplemindedness.
I'm not making any sort of political statement, like "people should be treat me correctly or else get fired because of offending my gender".
But I'm not gonna lie, it would feel very nice if I was around more progressive people. I wished I had just just standard male behaviour and thoughts.
I guess some people in progressive cities are more accepting of the whole gender fluid thing, so I wished I lived in one (let me clarify though, I'm not a mindless gender fanatic).
I'm also not perfect and sometimes the line between "I love your haircut" and "I'm into you" blurs the fuck out, so that's on me... I don't know if it's something I can change though...
Hopefully all this shit I'm saying doesn't make me look like a lunatic. Veeeery hopefully.
Though, If you think for real I'm a lunatic or bad person, you can suck donkey dick.14 -
!dev
Why do I hate my extended family coming over for lunch and dinner you ask?
> kids, who will ruin the remote by pressing the keys so hard, I'll have to get a new remote.
> NO PEACE. I'll have to move from my comfort spot to another spot where, again kids, will come and ask if I have "GAMES" in my mobile or laptop
> and this happened after lunch while watching a movie which I never watched before, my imbecile cousin decides to spoil the entire movie just like that, like, FUCK YO, LIKE REALLY, I KNOW YOU'RE MY RELATIVE IN SOME WAY, BUT FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU, spoilers is one of the things I cannot stand.
> I really do not like to be annoyed again and again and again and again, so please stop asking me if I want to have lunch or dinner with everyone because I really HATE the talk during that time.
> I leave my laptop for one microsecond and they surround it like scavengers, I MEAN FOR FUCKS SAKE, GIVE ME MY PRIVACY, (I have my own room, but it's under renovation).
The best I could do was to put on headsets and pretend like I'm working while browsing LinkedIn.
> "Oh I see you have HD TV, but the picture is blurred" NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, It is due to I chose not to buy HD Pack because I live stream HD Channels and cable is a backup24 -
What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!
One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!
I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"
Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?
I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".
What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!
This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.
I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!7 -
This just happened to me, a few minutes ago:
Colleague: Could you please call xyz and ask how we can administer their server and ask about the bug?
Me: Sure, gonna do this after lunch.
[...]
Me: So I called xyz, and we're now able so ssh into the machine to administer stuff [...] and they'll check the bug.
Colleague: Oh yeah great, I called xyz a hour ago and we're all set didn't they tell you?
Me: No, they didn't.. (YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!)
Colleague: Oh an what about the bug?
Me: ...
It's totally fine if you're going to do it yourself but WHY dou you WASTE MY TIME? You could've told me that you already called them! 🤬1 -
What the fuck happened to laravel docs, what fuckwad thought the only docs across the entire internet that are properly readable, need its shit fucked up and made into borderless, bold fontweight, shit font dogshit.
12 -
Gj Mastercard! My card just got blocked because every time I want pay and 3D secure code is needed, every first SMS that day is delayed by 5 minutes so session expires and I have to try again...now it happened quite a few times and card got blocked. Fucking shit...2
-
Windows not powering off when I press the shutdown button.
Mandatory long rant warning
Oh my fucking god, how many times have I lost my shit because of this fucking bullshit.
When I press the shutdown button, I want you to shut the fuck down you sorry excuse for an operating system.
Me and my friends want to hang out together, so I shut down my PC and walk over to their house, expecting an intense session of doing programming stuff and debating linux distros. Whatever the fuck we do when we get together.
I get to their house and pull out my laptop,, only its hot as fuck. And then I see it: the battery indicator is red. "What the balls?" I think to myself. I open the lid, and guess what?
WINDOWS DIDN'T FUCKING SHUT DOWN, AND IT STAYED ON THE POWERING OFF SCREEN ALL THIS FUCKING TIME. WHAT THE FUCK?
Now, my laptop has a bomb ass battery, so I didn't even bring a charger with me, and now I'm fucking stuck at a programming session with friends without a computer. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
If this was a one time thing, I wouldn't have cared so much, but this happened countless fucking times. Too many.
I would have deleted this cum socket of an operating system months ago if it weren't for the Windows exclusive software I need for school, and now that Steam supports games for linux, Windows has even less of an excuse to stay on my fucking laptop.
Windows is supposed be fucking simple, but linux takes it by a goddamn long shot. When I type "shutdown now" or "poweroff", linux shuts the fuck down, no questions asked. And if I ever need root permissions, I just type "sudo" instead of restarting the fucking program and requesting admin privileges.
Most of the software I use is compatible with both MacOS and Windows, and I already have Ubuntu installed on my laptop, so what do you guys think, should I butcher Windows off of my SSD and give MacOS a try?
Also, what is this magic? Ranting actually calmed me the fuck down... I need to start ranting more.
FUCK MICROSOFT AND FUCK WINDOWS, I WISH I COULD BURN TO FUCKING OBLIVION6 -
What happened to the warm welcome that new users received back in the day? Now when someone posts their first rant people bash on details and give them no chance. I remember posting half-dumb rants, but no one gave me shit for that. It takes time to grow into a community, you can't just expect people to behave identically to the rest. Makes me a bit disappointed to be fair.9
-
I love my adhd kicks. My webstorm trial ended, I downloaded vscode, hated the bindings, I then used thr intellij extension. Everything ok expect autocomplete, not a fan of tab, couldn't use enter to enter enter as a binding. Hacked that binding.json, idk how i ended up installing a json sorter extension, ow theres a imports sorter. Okay what exactly i wanted to do? Right, do my niche site. Bad idea, i had written it in kotlin js, (missing intellij already) so i searched for almost non-scripting framework. Idk what happened...i ended up being interested in tailwind. Tried it a bit, ow they have tailwind ui. Thinking about buying the sweet shit. Ow i see headless UI... Pause, threw tailwind out. Thinking about react, met Solid, loved it, yarned and npmed it. Extension time, auto tag rename, more emmet like shit, rainbow and fira fonts, theme, scheme, ow colors whaaaw. Okay, its not gonna look like or feel like intellij, more like IDEA community if i had made the ide. What was i making again? Ah my webcrapp. still (idea)less... I went to codepen, grew a beard, came out, still feeling powerfully uncreative. Last stop: awwwards.. ow that awesome 7up nl site, imma see it, they nuked the animations, everything. This is where the rant actually ends, because THANK GOD I DONT FULLSTACK FOR A LIVING!!! Swift, Kotlin, XML and unpredictable Gradle is good enough for me to stop me from going wild. Stay safe. Genetic.🙋♂️2
-
Before going home, decided to do an upgrade from ubuntu 16.04 to 18.04...
Leave it to do its charm.
*a morning later*
See laptop on off state, "hmm..."
Turning in on, *press power buton*
Booting... Purple-ish screen appear.. Nothing happened for 20 minutes.
"fck."
Hard reboot, going to grub menu,
1. Ubuntu*
2. Advance option
Choose ubuntu.
Booting...
"root mount not found, bla bla bla
Kernel panic..."
"fck."
15 chrome tabs later (on mobile),
Do something on shit...
Finally proceed to login screen.
Insert password, enter.
Loading... Blank... 3 seconds later, tadaaa.. Going back to login screen.
Do it trice, I'm stuck at login screen.
"fck."
20 chrome tabs later,
Finally got in. Have a "what's new" screen.
Ok, feels different... But its slow af. Hmm maybe reboot will do something.
Rebooting...
Login screen, insert password, enter..
3 seconds later..
Bam. Going back to login screen...
"fck."
Another chrome tabs later... Resolved the issue.
And finally I can take a breath, but still has a headache because of little thing likes:
1. Right click not working
2. Workspace not work as expected likes in 16.04
3. Screenshot behavior
4. No animation When moving a window to another workspace.
When almost anything is solved and I'm ready to do my works, I just realised something..
I just wasted 4 hours of my workday.
"fck."9 -
I just got the book "The C Programming Language, 2nd Edition" from Amazon.
I've had my wars with Amazon in the past for not protecting packages properly, and now it happened again. For the third time in 6 months.
The cover of the book is damaged, pages are bend a bit and it looks like someone took a key and tried to draw something on the front cover.
I contacted customer support to get a replacement, which was no problem, but still fucking annoying that I have to spend time on this shit.
Anyway, what pisses me off is the amount of work I have to do in order to send this shit back to them. Holy fuck!
First of all, I haven't met a single competent employee at a "post office" here in Denmark, as all of the offices are now a part of a either hyper markets or grocery stores. This means, that it's the stores employees handling this.
In this process from Amazon I have to actually clear it for customs with a form they need to take care of.
I have to print 4 labels, 2 which I need to sign and 2 I need to do something else with...
But I'm so freaking scared that they'll fuck this up and I'll get billed for 2 books. It wouldn't fucking surprise me, considering how fucking shit our postal service is in Denmark and how I've been screwed over by Amazon in the past4 -
Parents had asked me to assemble some furniture, fix the pc and so some other "brain" work
Furniture
Me: *Stops to check something in the manual*
Parents: Are you stuck? Maybe try assembling the door upside down
Me: No, it is the right way
Parents: *Ramble, ramble*
Me: Just let me work, shut the hell up
PC
Me: *Checks cables, checks logs, ect*
Parents: Maybe it is the problem with (insert random tech word there)?
Me: No.
Parents: W h y?
Me: Let me finish, it isnt that, (tech word) isnt even correlated to that
Parents: But, but, you never talk to me... (ramble ramble)
Me: Get the hell outta the room
*Argumemt breaks out*
30min later
Me: *Finnaly manages to fix it after the heated argument*
Me: I finished, everything works
Parents: Great, but you are mean
Me: I managed to finish the work in 15 min, you dont even have enough strengh to call for a specialist, (but knowing me i wouldnt allow it anyway because a lot of them make a poor job), so in order to make it properly and to relieve you from learning how to fucking google i want you to stay out of this so i can just finish my job. Your interruptions waste time and i dont need your help at all. Everytime you tried to fix stuff you always managed to fuck shit up when you tried to do anything.
Parents: (ramble)
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEAVE MY ROOM
Parents:
Me:
Parents: *Leave the room*
1h later i get 25$ for the job perfectly done
Sometime i wish they were tech independent, so i can save my sanity and time but money is nice.
If anybody tries to argue that i should respect them:
I tried talking to them nicely countless times through years, but they always force themself to a project and they always fuck shit up because of it. I tried telling them about my problems and they tried helping me but after it didnt work they retured to the old: "it is the pc fault" and similar. Even if they couldnt help me i juat wanted them to understand my situation, but no that didnt happened.
First i fix my life then i will fix the relationship
But but greeeeeg, relationships should be cared for always!
Eat shit. There is time for family and there is time for me especialy when my life can suddenly colapse due to my problems.7 -
I am not sure which 24 hours was the craziest one, but I will pick 2.
This one happened just a few weeks after I started working for the one and only company I have ever worked for. The huge-ass multi-tenant website stopped working. There was out of memory exception and nobody knew what is going on. I was still very new and knew shit about how it worked + plus my PHP knowledge was limited back then. Everyone was looking for the culprit but with no luck. Then the next day I finally managed to find a fucking infinite loop in our weather plugin.
We were working on a moderately big project for a client. There was a lot of work lately (on different projects) and we were *very* behind schedule on this one. Deadline? You guessed it - tomorrow. What was worse is that we couldnt move it any further, becuase we already did once before. So I had to work for about 20 hours straight to kinda finish the work. Worst part? Client turned out to be moron and half-scammer, so they are not our client anymore and the project was never deployed to production. Never again.2 -
Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.
X page doesn't work.
Great information there what about the page isn't working?
Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.
If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.
Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.
What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.
If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.4 -
Our IT-Class project: Mathematics trainer in Java
Day 1 (was monday)
TL;DR we didn't save.
So we formed groups and I landed in the UI team with, let's call him Mage and let's call her Goth.
We had an eclipse project folder on our desktop (they said it only works when put on desktop) Btw they didn't even want to use a cloud or something (I wish we'd use git and I'd finally learn it). We should take the changes by USB from computer to computer.
So me, Mage an Goth are making a basic GUI for this Mathematic-Training App. We use this thing from Eclipse but I forgot the name. It has not enough functionality on surface and I hate things that break complex things up to ease things but leave away so much.
So after a productive hour of building a GUI and centering shit by calculating the top and bottom distance and use margins (hurts me really but Mage was designing, Goth intensively calculating on paper), the bell rings.
Mage wants to save the project on my USB-Stick and bamm💥
A black screen.
I don't know how it happened but it sure had something to do with the USB-port looking like you fucked it with a way to huge🍆. It looked damn broken.
So because we have a nice App called HD-Guard, which fucking wipes the desktop on startup and resets all but the documents/images/videos/music folder —
It's all's gone. Today is day 2 of this project so let's see how today turns out.3 -
Stories from Gary #000
Short background info:
So I'm working as a game dev for 3 years now and by now I can say that I've seen some shit. Mostly because of one of our game designers, let's call him Gary.
So Gary, from here on called GDG (Game Designer Gary), is a regular game designer (GD). His job is to come up with new game ideas, commission the assets, make sure that translations are done, etc. - simply put, he has to get a lot of shit together before we can start working on a new game.
Would be no problem at all if GDG wasn't lazy as shit and would work for once in his life. No dev really wants to work with him anymore, since he's known for calling a game or any issue "ready for development" even if half the assets or specs are still missing.
Let's move on to a particular situation that happened a couple of months ago.
I had an issue assigned to me, which was about implementing the translations for a new game. As I read the issue and checked if everything I needed was given, I noticed that the most important part was in fact missing - the keywords for the translations.
-.-
So, I called GDG and asked where I could find the keywords, to which he responded "Oh, I'm working on them right now... and by the way I got a weird bug with the translation program. Can you come check it out?". Sigh. I went over to his office, rambling about how I should be able to help him with a program I rarely use and which was written ages ago.
As soon as GDG saw me coming roundbthe corner, he started explaining how the keywords aren't ready yet, since the program to create translations and their keywords won't let him name a translation.
"I can create new translations, but I can't assign a keyword to them."
"Okay, show me what you did", I told him, eager to leave.
He started to type the keyword, which turned out to be huge ass long and immediately I noticed a little counter, like "x/50", directly beneath the text field started to count up with every new character GDG typed. See where I'm going with this? HE WASNT ABLE TO RENAME A TRANSLATION BECAUSE HE WAS TOO LAZY TO FUCKING READ AND CONCENTRATE FOR ONCE. Sorry for that, but even thinking about it gets me angry again.
To some this might sound like nothing, but it really got to me at this point. Maybe it will become more understandable as I post more GDG stories.
tl;dr: A 40 something year old man, who's been working in his job for over 10 years wasn't able to use a program which he daily uses and asks me for help, only to find out he's a complete dipshit.4 -
In only I were 1.15 times faster or had better planning (why didn’t I use the Saturday Sunday at the end of the first week 🤦🏼♂️), things would’ve happened differently. I think I’m becoming stupid and my tolerance levels are going down too.
So this happened a while back ..
I was given a code base which didn’t have any changes in the last two years and I was asked to add a feature to this. This was my first task in this new group I was part of. I had two weeks to do this starting on a Monday.
Partway through implementation I realised that the code base is a pile of shit and I wasn’t doing myself or anyone else any favours by shitting on it.
It’s Wednesday. I’ve dealt with many other codebases before but the urge to rewrite this particular one was just unlike anything else. And so I started changing code and before I realised, I modified almost all the important files.
I got sick of this mixed up code and started a rewrite from scratch. It was Friday and I finally had just the basic mechanics of the whole thing working. Now I needed to add all the functionalities and also my new feature.
It should be noted that at no point did I tell any of the superiors I was doing this fearing what they might say and also fearing going back to adding shit to shit.
By the end of the second week, the rewrite was complete and I only had the new feature to add. The rewrite was significantly smaller, compartmentalised and well commented because I did the bloody commenting (where it was not obvious from the code). So on Friday, I was asked about the progress and I told them that it needed some more work and that I need a couple more days. And I got shit for it. I was told it was a mistake giving this task to me and that I am not competent enough. One of the superiors told the other superior about perhaps giving me something more suited to my level. To be fair to them, they were expecting the work in the two weeks to be for the new feature.
And in two days’ time, on Monday (I worked on Saturday and half of Sunday), I finished the whole thing and gave it to them. New feature was working. And I still did not tell them what I did. The tool worked fine so they had no idea what happened because this project had no version control and I pointed them to a new directory with the new code with a first commit.3 -
Motherfucking stupid windows 10.
Wanted to try out cortana with all features after disabling it via regedit.
So naturally I created a Microsoft account and linked my user to it. Of course I used a random password generator and saved it in a passwort vault.
Then an update happened, I restarted my computer and guess what this stupid piece of SHIT garbage software did?
It prompted me to enter my password. Not the password I had for my local user BUT THE MOTHERFUCKING 15-DIGIT RANDOM PASSWORT GENERATED AND NOT EVEN VIEWED ONCE FUCKING SHIT!!!
Did they even ask if I wanted that? No they fucking didn't. Did they WARN ME? NO. NO THEY FUCKING DIDN'T.
That's the last straw. I'll kick windows down the garbage bin where it belongs and programm my own AI with open source software.4 -
!Dev
the fuck...
I'm not very good in remembering numbers. But I have lots to remember: apartment entrance code, maestrocard pin, phone pin, s few pins at work, and so on. So I remember patterns my finger mskes on a numpad instead [if you have played Ingress, you know exactly how it works].
There is a pattern for a bank card. Another one for phone pin, etc.
I've been using this technique for years... It has never failed me. I never could remember my pins, but give me a keypad and I'll enter it right away.
Last week smth happened. I forgot 2 pins from both of my bank cards... Both at the same day. And I did not have them written down anywhere for years...
Shit3 -
Holy fucking shit... this didnt happen! IT FUCKING CAMT HAVE! NO NO NO NO! IMPOSSIBLE!
I LOST MY FUCKING BAG! RIGHT BEFORE ONE OF MY MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING TESTS! Ok, a little backstory, everyone in Switzerland or (due to alice's request) german can skip this part:
Here we have something called a "Lehre" (I think its called an apprenticeship or sth?) which usually goes 3-4 years, and in the middle, (end of 2nd) we have a "Teilprüfung" Which is basically a test which you HAVE to pass, if you dont, wait another year, and do it with the Final exams... and if you dont pass, your fucked. very very deep in the ass. And guess where I am? Yes. end of 2nd year. And guess what happened?
I LOST ALL OF MY STUFF! GONE. LOST. IM SO FUCKING SCREWED RIGHT NOW! (I have a small backup tho) BUT THIS IS JUST BAD! VERY FUCKING BAD!
OH GOD...
WHY THE FUCK ISNT THIS A DREAM!
I cant sleep...
send help.
fucking srsly.
send help.4 -
Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.2
-
I recently accepted my first "real" Dev position. This has been a huge hurdle for me.
So my degree is in graphic design and it's pretty much what I spent the first 2-3 years after university doing. In fact, when I started at the place I am now (I am still working my notice) I was hired as a creative artworker.
I had always had a website I put together with some basic frontend skills, but always assumed the backend stuff was "beyond me". But, given the option here, I asked to be sent on a PHP course. Holy shit I took to it like a duck to water. Over the next few months I got my feet wet building a new website for the company, building out a little intranet, all that good stuff. I went from procedural spaghetti monstrosities to nice, OOP, documented code. It was beautiful. And no one here really have a fuck.
About 6 months ago, I started trying to leave. This was hard. I actually had several interviews for design positions, but always got turned down for some variation of "you're very technical and we think you'd get bored here" and thank god really, because they're right. I could never get a look in for Dev jobs though, because on paper I had no experience, hell my job title was still "Digital Designer" despite over a year of developing here.
But it finally happened. Through someone I used to know I got my foot in the door for a developer position. In the interview they even told me if it was a junior position they'd hire me on the spot - but sadly it wasn't. I had a good time though, a good laugh, and had a lot of fun finally, for the first time in my life, "working" and talking with other developers.
Over the next couple of weeks the agent kept telling me I had done really well and they were just dragging their feet getting things sorted, but I gave up hope a little. So imagine my surprise when I found out they turned the role into a junior one for me!
And so now, I get to go to a job where my job title includes the word "Developer". To some of you that might not mean much, but to me it's a fucking medal I wish I could mount on a plaque on my wall.4 -
You asked for it--here it is.
It was a regular day in November--I was taking my dog out for a walk. We were walking past an elementary school when my dog started barking at a rock. I went to have a closer look at the rock when suddenly it vanished into thin air. "How strange" I quietly thought to myself, called out to my dog and carried on walking.
The next day at around the same time, at the very same place--next to the elementary school, my dog started barking at a log which lied in the exact same spot as the rock had occupied the day before. I did the same as I had done a day earlier--walked up to the log to check it out, but it vanished into thin air. We kept on walking.
The third day I decided we'd pick another route. This day, nothing interesting happened.
The fourth day went the same as the third.
The fifth day, went the same as the fourth.
On the sixth day, God was almost done with his works, for that reason we celebrated by going to the movies--me and my dog. To be fair, the only interesting thing that happened on that day was the movie, which was shit.
On the eight day when I got out of my bed I fell, broke my neck and died. And that's when I ate my code to make it shorter.5 -
Sorry, is TL, but humbly think is worth to read.
Last Friday:
Coworker: Hey, our mail is being redirected to our client's spam folder. What did you do?
Me: Sorry, but I have no control over that.
Boss: I happened to me also. Something is wrong with our mail server.
Me: I'll check, but this is really out of my control.
Rushed to my station... domain blacklist check...Fuuuuuuuu! We been blacklisted! What in the fucking damn hell happened?????!!!
Mail server log check....Mmmm...WTF is this shit?
Devilish grin in my face....muahahahaaa! Your ass is MINE!
So, my "I know everything" new coworker ( https://www.devrant.io/rants/193238 ) used his account to send over 6300 messages a couple of times over a period of 4 hours. By our boss request we have no limit on our servers...
Gotcha! I'm going to get your ass fired!
(BTW: The pic is Gotcha the Cockatoo)
4 -
Workload rant.
Our new line manager is overly expecting from all of us (product/design/tech) and is micro managing on ground level without having any real sense of reality. He just wants everything to be built overnight.
He is smart, no doubt about that. But guess, I learnt from him what I had to. Not to stereotype but he is a typical Indian manager who keeps pushing boundaries.
He just added 80 features for Q1 roadmap with on 3 PMs, 1 Designer, 1TPM, and bunch of techies .
What the actual fuck! 😂😂😂 And he wanted to add more, thankfully we ran out of time in the meeting.
And my super talent and genius blabbering co-woker who works mechanically just fucked herself real bad. Lol
I kept telling her not to add Feature XYZ to the roadmap because:
1. There'll be spill over from Q4
2. She is already overloaded with 1 task and keeps crying all day about being unable to handle it
3. She is setting wrong expectations with management for herself and rest of the team
4. Boss will add more work and she'll be fucked
She was adamant and did not listen.
Now this is what happened:
1. ALL her Q4 items got pushed to Q1. LMFAO
2. She was literally crying since morning on calls for being overloaded and we are yet to start Q1 assignments
3. Additional tasks along side feature XYZ were added on her plate
I tried to push back the manager and that's when he said okay, let's keep some items for Q2.
But holy shit. 80 features between such a small team and wanted to done in few weeks.
I need to pump more steam in my job hunt activity. This place is ridiculously toxic.33 -
I used to think my first relationship was awful. I went through so much and rather it served as a trigger for my childhood trauma as well.
Little did I know that it would be the best the thing that could happen to me. I grew so much and every next woman I met, I realised how fucking amazing my ex is. God I miss her terribly.
But what happened with my recent fuck up, I am devastated. This toxic women brought out the worst in me. I have never been so hateful against myself or anyone else in the world.
I was love bombed and walked into a trap. I quit as soon as I realised what it was.
My values were comprised. My integrity was put to test. My trust was intentionally broken. During the initial days, she tactically identified my vulnerabilities and insecurities. Then used to sadistically trigger me as often as she can and sit there and watch me in suffer pain.
It led me to self harm and being suicidal.
I am so badly wounded that even after few weeks, I am still discovering all the wounds. It will surely take some time along with external support to build a healing environment for myself and overcome this damage.
I am very angry, terribly hurt, lost and confused. This shit developed a phobia in me. I cannot trust anyone anymore. I constantly live in fear of being hurt (physical, mental, and emotional). I am paranoid of that stalker.
I don't think I'll ever be able to start and build a healthy relationship with anyone. I used to be sooooo fucking strong emotionally and mentally. But now not only my trauma relapsed but I got more issues within me.
I really want to live a free, healthy, happy and a fulfilled life. I don't know when time will heal this but right now, I am in terrible pain and hate myself a lot.9 -
A few years ago my boss held a brainstorming meeting to go over features for an internal reporting app. I brought up we should have related business news stories scroll on the page header like Fox business or something. He laughed and said sure. Two things happened after that.
1. Found out the marquee tag still works in chrome.
2. Yeah you bet I put that shit in there.
Anyways a meeting was held a few days after where my boss chewed me out for actually doing it. He showed the app to his boss and got laughed at by his leadership team when they saw news headlines scroll over analytics graphs.
After writing this I realize this is more his embarrassment than mine. Have a great Tuesday fam.7 -
IMHO technical dept is kind of like smoking cigarettes for some decades.
You were told that shit will hit the fan but you do not take proper action. And one day you'll realize that you fucked up (or not, also seen that).
Worked for a company in IT, where we maintained an ERP which was "in progress" for over a decade. The basic implementation was done by people with zero technical understanding. To clarify: not self coded. Software was bought. We are talking about integrating the system.
Therefore, the foundation was like a wet noodle. When I joined that company, I told them that they need to address that. I told them that things will get slower and slower and that shit will hit the fan if no proper actions taken.
Even made a list with flaws I found. With potential risk and actions to take, that could then be measured.
At that time, five people worked in said department (including me).
People did not want to listen. "Would be too expensive to rewrite stuff".
Nothing has changed about the wet noodle, but I tried to fix as many things in a working system as I could. Felt like heart surgery, because changes got implemented and "tested" in prod. No version control, no documentation, everyone implemented things like they felt (no guidelines for consistency).
A lot of small fuckups that summed up over the years.
I left the company after two years because I had the chance to land a job as a dev.
Been around two years now since I left. Now 9 people work in that department with around the same efficiency as us 5 people back then.
The new employees struggle to be productive, because things are just implemented poorly and not maintainable anymore.
Had some dialogs with them some time ago. Everything I told them would happen, actually happened. What a suprise :-|
I will not go into too much detail about all the shit that's going on there, as it would be just too much (and my morning coffe is almost finished).
I think that we all know the difference between "not beautiful, but does the job" and "oh, that will backfire - badly". And I wish that my communication skills increase so that people start listening in future.8 -
JIRA.
Plenty of good things happened at work this year. Then we started using jira. That "heavy" bucketfull of shit though.7 -
Ran Windows RAM diagnostic tools because I was too lazy to get my Linux USB-stick. Ran for 20 minutes, restarted - "There are hardware problems present."
NO SHIT. No info how many errors, no log file mentioned, no code or anything. Something happened. How retarded can a diagnostic tool be?
Guess laziness gets you punished immediately...1 -
We are 2 people working as remote android devs for this startup in another country. 6 weeks ago a new person joined onsite to work directly in startup HQ. I'l refer to him as an newguy.
Last week we started new sprint (of 2 weeks) to work on a new feature.
Newguy was responsible for gathering all the specs and planning, so this is how our sprint is going so far:
Day 1:
We have 10+ tickets in jira (tickets have only titles) no one knows what to do and we don't even have specification. I started pushing everybody onsite to get their shit together. We NEED UX/UI specs, we NEED backend to be ready, or at least start working paralelly so that once wer'e done with frontend backend would be ready. I mean cmon guys this feature is already 70% done on iOS, why cant you send us the specification?
Day 2:
We had a meeting on Zoom and talked about missing specification and project manager promised to send us the specs. Meanwhile the idea of feature became clearer so I agreed with the newguy to start researching about best way to implement our solution.
Day 3:
We received the specifications. I provided my research for the feature to the newguy. Turns out the he knew about specification 4-5 days before.
Instead of sharing information with us, he decided to create his own library to do what we want to do and blatantly rejected my research input.
Now he showed his implementaton (which is shit by the way) and presents it as the only way to proceed forward. He offers for us to work paralelly with him on this (basically he wants to write library alone, and we are supposed to somehow implement and test it, but how the fuck we can implement if backend is not ready and library is just a bunch of empty interfaces at this point?)
I talked with one of the teamleads in the startup and told him that this is not the way things were being done here before and new guy is becoming a dictator.
Teamlead talked with new guy and found no issue. Basically newguy defended his sole decision by saying that he did research on his own, there are no libraries that do what we want and he knows better.
Teamlead tells me to STFU because new guy seems competent and he will be leading this feature. Basically from what I gathered teamlead doesn't give a single fuck and wants to delegate all project management to this new guy.
Day 5:
End of the week. New guy claims that his lib is done so we can start implementing properly. I tried implementing his lib but its fucked up and backend is still not ready.
Day 6:
Backend is still not ready, no one is doing anything just waiting for it to be ready.
Day 7 (Today):
Today(Backend is still not ready, no one is doing anything just waiting for it to be ready.
So what can I say? His plan was to probably prove his self worth and try to lead this feature by giving us information at last minute. At the point were we should start implementing instead of researching.
What happened? Motherfucker doesn't know shit about backend, has been notified about backend issues multiple times but his head was so deep up his ass with that new library of his that he delayed the rest of the team.
Result? 7 working days wasted. Out of 3 developers only 1 was actually working (and his fucked up code will have to be rewritten anyways). Only 50% of feature done. Motherfucker tells me that this is how we will work in the future, "paralelly". The fuck is this mate? If you would have worked on this feature alone you would have done it already now, but instead you wait until we remote devs will login and fetch you the test input and talk with backend guys for you? The fuck is wrong with you.
You fucking piece of shit, learn to plan and organize better if you want to lead the team. Now all that you are doing is wasting time, money and getting on everyboys nerves. Im tired of fucking spoon feeding you every day you needy scheming office politics playing piece of shit. Go back to your shithole country and let us work.
When I was responsible for sprint planning I figured out what to do before start of the sprint and remote devs were able to do week's work in 1-2 days and have rest of the week off. This is how it's supposed to be when you work with a remote team. Delegate them separate features, give them proper specs ahead and everyone's happy. Don't start working on frontend if you dont even fucking know when backend will be ready. It's fucking common sense.
Now I need to spoon feed this motherfucker who can't even get information while sitting on his ass onsite in HQ. Fucking hell.8 -
This is gonna be a long one....
A lesson I learnt the hard way - never go out of your way to help friends with their coding. I helped her always, sat with her on the phone and explained and taught and solved her problems for hourssss while delaying my own work, while losing my sleep, even during pregnancy, I helped somehow as much as was possible even when I was drowning in my own work, even when I’m was not okay myself. But, once in a while I am too full, I also have work, now I also have an infant to take care of as well, and yeah sometimes I CAN be too busy to help!!!!! I have my own life too!! At these times she says “oh you don’t help me anymore”. It’s so annoying seriously What the fuckkkkk and after this shit happened a few times, I expressed my annoyance and she says, oh it was a joke. But then repeated it. And I still feel bad in refusing to help when asked. But lesson learnt that I won’t put myself behind, I’ll help only when I have nothing else to do.1 -
Think I am going to try out my first stuff for my game engine in 2D. The games I have the most fond memories of were 2D. Sure I like what has happened on the 3D side. But it would be fun to recreate some of my favorite 2D games. Except with one caveat: procedural generation. Never play the same game twice. For testing purposes I will have a seed system to regenerate the same worlds. I would have played these games so much longer if they had been based on a seed for generation of content.
I also like the idea of weapons and armor never being exactly the same. Sure they can look similar, but on close inspection you could see differences. It will be fun to start with base models and then add imperfections and differences.
Another issue I have with fantasy games is always leveling up the weapon by buying something better. Sure we have improvement systems though smithing and magic, but some weapons are always better than others. I wanted to have a game where weapons could be improved by usage and upgrades. Kill 1000 trolls and the weapon gets imbued with trollbane. Kill a dragon and the blood infuses and it deals fire damage. So a player could start out with the family sword and end up with a god tier weapon at the end of the game. Make weapons become legendary. Not because it has more power, but because trolls recognize the blade and the wielder and are scared shitless.
Terrain in 2D should be a lot easier to generate. Weapons, armor, etc should be easier to modify and generate. This should give me the grounding I need to develop the algorithms for a future 3D system. Godot is currently stronger in 2D than 3D. That will change in the next couple of years as more focus is put on the engine. There is no reason I cannot experiment with mixing 2D and 3D as well.
Holy shit, I was just thinking I cannot imagine the amazing shit they could have done with the games I played as a kid with 2D physics!
Haha, something they had in the older games was actual gambling. You could bet on monster fights and slot machines in game. I wonder if that takes a hard hit with ESRB now?
Currently stuck in tutorial hell. Learning how the engine works and seeing what features are available. I get more excited each video I watch. The engine is packed with goodies and the addons are crazy good.
tldr: First project will be short game in 2D. Will explore procedural content.13 -
web technologies rot your brain into a festering deadly biohazard mush. web technologies are the worst thing that ever happened to this world. fucking festering web shitosystem fuck this disgusting stupid fragile opaque bloated universe-sized chunk of retarded pukeshit.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE FUCKING GAMES, NOT HAVE MY BRAIN AND SOUL CONSTANTLY ROTTED BY THIS FUCKIN MONUMENT TO UTTER RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED HUMAN INCOMPETENCE FUCK YOU ALL FUCK ALL THIS SHIT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK DISGUSTING FUCKIN MINDRAPE PEDOPHILIACS SHOULD STOP FUCKING "INVENTING" SHITPOOLS.
WHEN
THE
FUCK
WILL
SOMEONE
COMPETENT
BE
THE
INVENTOR
OF
SOME
PIECE
OF
IT.
whoever were the rapists who "invented" php, js, html, css, SQL, and all the bullshit about how it's supposed to be configured and communicate with each other should have died of starvation in a fuckin ditch while being raped by squirrels... before they managed to "invent" any of that disgusting shit.
fuck you with your fuckin linux bullshit philosophy which keeps rotting all your brains thinking that this is fine and it can be fixed just by piling more and more layers of fucking shit on top of all this shit.
FUCK.
YOU.
ALL.19 -
!dev, just a couple little things that happened to me recently.
First off, I just (like 20 minutes ago) replaced the save battery in my Pokemon Silver, so that's fun. Now I want to start modding my GBC (new shell, glass screen, all the fun stuff)
My friend is talking to me again, as of yesterday. The whole situation is still kinda touchy so I'm gonna be careful about talking to her for now, but after some time it should be all good.
I recently took up vaping (I know, it's bad and I shouldn't do it, but I'm an adult and that's my fucking decision).
Then yesterday, I gave a friend a ride home from school. He didn't have his house key so he was locked out and had to wait for his dad to get home. The neighborhood I live in, you don't really leave someone sitting outside for too long, cause shit might happen to them (drug deals are a regular thing across the street from my house, gunshots aren't too common, but still), so I stayed with him.
I'd never met his dad, and I didn't want his first impression to be me letting out a huge vape cloud, so if I was going to take a hit, I would check to make sure nobody was around. At one point, I checked, then took a huge hit. Then I heard my friend say "oh there's my dad". Cue me practically gluing my mouth shut, not breathing at all as I waved bye, turned my car on, pulled out of the driveway, and drove down the street some.
When I let the cloud out, it was a HUGE fucking cloud too. Much bigger than the ones I've normally had. Definitely would have been a bad introduction, especially considering that friend's family is not very fond of that type of stuff (smoking/vaping, drinking, etc) from what I know. -
rant = Rant.STORY_TIME
<<<Story
This is still something funny me and my friends often remember.
There was once upon a time we were young and stupid, playing on the internet with fake credit card numbers, sometimes we had luck and the orders passed.
We were on the living room, checking who could put an order for a coffee machine, while another friend of mine was talking about the deep web and what he found there.
Suddenly, someone knocks really hard on the door... We went silent...
Me: "Who's there?"
Voice: Federal Police, open up!
Me: *shiiiit*
I went blank, close my laptop as fast as possible, I thought of throwing it away through the window. My friends panicked, I had my laptop upside down, opening the lid to remove the HDD.
One of my friends stood up and went to the door, looked through the eyehole.
Friend: *whispering* The eyehole's covered!
We quickly stood up and looked at each other, like we were acknowledging our wrong doing and getting ready to face the consequences.
I took a deep breath and put the key in the door to open it. Sudden heavy knock again. I jumped and yelled "I'm on it, wait a minute!".
Slowly I opened the door... And there they were, another two of my friends.
F1: hey...what, what happened? Why are you so scared.
They stepped in while we told them what we were doing and they laughed their asses off.
We were shit scared, and those two were laughing.
Story;
So, nowadays, I don't even think about doing that kind of stuff again and I'm hoping to make a Master's degree in security...or electronics, whatever happens first. -
Of course the shouting episodes all happened during the era I was doing WordPress dev.
So we were a team of consultants working on this elephant-traffic website. There were a couple of systems for managing content on a more modular level, the "best" being one dubbed MF, a spaghettified monstrosity that the 2 people who joined before me had developed.
We were about to launch that shit into production, so I was watching their AWS account, being the only dev who had operational experience (and not afraid to wipe out that macos piece of shit and dev on a real os).
Anyhow, we enable the thing, and the average number of queries per page load instantly jumps from ~30 (even vanilla WP is horrible) to 1000+. Instances are overloaded and the ASG group goes up from 4 to 22. That just moves the problem elsewhere as now the database server is overwhelmed.
Me: we have to enable database caching for this thing *NOW*
Shitty authors of the monstrosity (SAM): no, our code cannot be responsible for that, it's the platform that can't handle the transition.
Me: we literally flipped a single switch here and look at the jump in all these graphs.
SAM: nono, it's fine, just add more instances
Me: ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS?
Me: - goes and enables database caching without any approvals to do so, explaining to mgmt. that failure to do so would impair business revenue due to huge loading times, so they have to live with some data staleness -
SAM: Noooo, we'll show you it's not our code.
SAM: - pushes a new release of the monstrosity that makes DB queries go above 2k / page load -
...
Tho on the bright side, from that point on I focused exclusively on performance, was building a nice fragment caching framework which made the site fly regardless of what shitty code was powering it, tuned the stack to no end and learned a ton of stuff in the process which allowed me to graduate from the tar pit of WP development.5 -
Last night I had a very strange dream. I should point out in advance, all of this is fictional and none of it really happened.
I was looking at an answer I posted on Stack Exchange.. for the sake of argument, let's say it was Super User. I remember the question being about volume limiting, which is actually an issue I and many other iOS 14.2/14.3 users have been facing in the last few months. Apparently it has been partially addressed in 14.4.
In the real world I fixed the issue by jailbreaking the phone and unloading the healthd service, while in the dream that was the answer I had documented on Super User. In reality I have documented it in several other places, but not there.
Fast-forward a couple of days in the dream where the answer was posted, and I was now looking at a reply. I don't remember the exact details of it, but apparently in the answer I had posted something about my network.. a screenshot from the iPhone? And the comment on it basically said something along the lines of "your answer is shit, and you probably have a very basic internet connection with default settings". I was really upset by that, as my network is actually quite advanced (on account of being a sysadmin).
Then I woke up and realized that it was all just a dream...4 -
Damn bro Vue 3 sucks actually. It's just a big function now with arguments like "`this` can be sometimes confusing when TypeScript is used." - hell no, my component was a class and this was the fucking class. nothing was confusing about this.
It's all a clusterfuck of magic now, I don't see why writing `ref(5)` or `return { all of your shit }` after `setup() { complete business logic inclusive functions here }` is better.
I was so looking forward to all the improvments, but why do we need these 3 apis with actually no difference, tried to be explained by the same image of colorful blocks in every single fucking article?
what happened to methods? am i seriously supposed to return them from a function? that just feels wrong.22 -
my day went to shit immediately... long night, got to sleep at 4AM, poked awake at 8AM, "hey wake up we gotta go to a town 200 miles away, dress like you're rich, we gotta go find a place to live for my new job" ugh, fine, got another 30 minutes or so of sleep in the car. We get there, the guy shows us a place that I physically can't fully stand up in and is like 600-some square feet for $750/month. Fuck that. We get halfway back home, "hey i forgot, we just finished renovating a new unit, come look!" goddammit gotta go BACK to the city... get there, it's a 2-floor 1200 square foot place for $675, a hell of a lot better. We leave to go see relatives in town, get a call, "hey hurry home your grandfather's hallucinating" we get there before an ambulance (we traveled 120 miles in less time than an ambulance took to drive 50 miles...) and my grandfather's hauled (by us, as the ambulance refuses to take him to the right hospital, they want to take him OUT OF STATE in an ambulance and he's not actively dying) to the VA in the city we were just in... he's immediately screened and his dementia has progressed to the point he needs to be in a nursing home in 12 hours somehow. I have no idea either. Anyways, we're about 3/4 of the way back home and it's now 2:40AM. My dad's been driving for 18 hours pretty much straight. I'm still awake, he's wired (the worst possible state to be in while driving) and family drama has happened as family members are already trying to take the land my grandpa lived on AND HE'S LITERALLY ONLY BEEN GONE FOR 6 HOURS.
so how was your day?7 -
My killer PR:
I made a small feature and it was to be merged in my senior's branch.
So I made it, resolved all the conflicts and when it got merged it broke my senior's branch.
This is nothing new and it happens, so me and him sat down and got it working. After two days, his branch got merged and broke it's parent 😂, after investigation my code was the reason, got fixed and merged.
Same thing happened 3 more times, and every time my code was the culprit.
Now for staging we thoroughly tested everything and deployed it, after running for 2 hours the piece of shit broke again 😂😂😂.
A meeting was arranged for scolding the team, and after the meeting the architect comes to me and say "how did you manage to fuck things on so many levels, literally?". I handled it like a pro with an awkward laugh.
We exhaustively checked it for production. Deployed, it did not broke, we were happy. After a month of successful run, I just joked about the above incident while we were working on next release on morning coffee. That cursed thing broke on the same evening. I was like 😮2 -
A user calls me an hour after I'm supposed to have logged off.
"Hey, ahh, like, something is not good with, like, some thing"
Oh, snap! What happened?
"There is, like, this report, and it's, like, not right?"
Oh, the report is showing wrong data? Let me try to get a fresh version and...
"No, like,the data is right, but, like, there is many reports and , like, should be only one?"
Oh, you mean the report consolidation feature? It should only happen if the reports are fully compatible, and since it's automatic if the reports are not already grouped it means that they cannot be grouped. Probably due to this shopping season, we've seen a high uptick in demand.
"But, like, it should be, like, one! If not I will have to type in each report, like, by hand! I usually talk to this guy XYZ and he, like, does something that I, like, have no idea what it is. Can you call him up?"
(The dude the user mentioned logged off hours ago, and is in a different timezone. It's now about 11PM for him.)
It might not be possible. The system should add observations to each report it cannot consolidate. What do those say?
(the user takes two seconds to respond. I don't think they checked anything)
"It doesn't say anything. Can you cal XYZ, please?"
...
Shit, why do people wait until the last few hours of the last day of the month to do something that should have been done days ago and then demand that everybody everywhere just adjust to their late-ass schedule?
And then to demand I wake up a hardworking dev because someone is to lazy to use the system as it was custom designed for them? Because it had no problems but just wasn't making all things easy?
That's why users have to pay - they don't pay us to code, they pay us to put up with their bullshit.2 -
!coding
I used to be a sysadmin, which meant I was in charge of quarterly server patching. My team managed about 2500 servers, running various flavors of linux and legacy unix. The vast majority(95% or more) ran Linux(SLES). Our maintenance window was always in the overnight-- 10pm to 6am --so the stroke of 10pm would be a massive cascade of patching commands sent to hundreds of servers.
Before I was brought into the process, it made use of the automation product we were tasked by mgmt to use: Bigfix. It's a real piece of shit. Though we had 2500 or so servers, this environment was dominated by windows. All our vcenter servers ran it, and more importantly, our bigfix nodes were all windows machines. That meant that while we're trying to patch, the bigfix servers would get patched by the windows team. This would cause lots of failed and timed out patching, because the windows admins never quite understood that taking down the automation infrastructure would cause problems.
As such, I got tired of depending on a bunch of button-pushing checkbox-clickers who didn't know shit about shit, so I started writing an ssh-wrapped patching system. By the time I left for my current job, patching had been reduced to a single command to initiate each group's patching and reboots, and an easy check to see when servers come back up. So usually, the way it worked out was that I would send patching orders to 750 machines or so, and within about 5 minutes, they would all be done patching, and within another 20 minutes all the ones that required rebooting but about 5 would be done rebooting.
The "all-nighter" which happened every time was waiting for oracle servers to run timed fscks against a dozen or so large filesystems per server, because they were all on ext3/4, which eats complete shit. Then, several hours later, as they finished, I would have to call the DBAs to tell them to validate their shitty servers.3 -
Wellp lately so much shit happened with parents and school that id like to (atleast see my options for) get(ting) a job in order to be independent.
What could work, knowing im a backender, coding in cpp, but open for other langs ?
I have no degree, but my github repos lol8 -
Moral of the story: sometimes you've got to take a hit to be better off in the end.
A client asked me to design flyers for him, at first I was hesitant since this would be a stand alone design task instead of one incorporated with development.
He kept asking since he liked what I designed for my other clients (logos, etc..) So I finally said yes and we agreed to a final preview before he would pay me. I had asked him for color schemes, certain pictures, info, etc. but he told me it was completely up to me.
I finished the design, sent him the preview and he told me it was shit compared to my other work and that he didn't want it anymore 😅. I used to get mad as fuck every time this happened but now I don't even bother .
I know many people are going to say "You should have had him sign a contract, bla bla". I know, I know, but you can't let people sign a contract for every small thing, it completely depend on the situation and I prefer to know which of my lesser known clients are assholes so I can quit accepting tasks from them. This saves me much more time in the end. -
Normally I don't give a shit when I lost a job opportunity.
But dude, this year everything is bad as fuck. I moved out (yet again) to marry and start a new life.
And as I said a previous Rants, I got a client that just made me lost another client when they started to get shady. For almost a god dam month now, I can't find even a crappy job.
This never happened. I got more than 10 opportunities. A handful of interviews, a few tests and none of them gave me a job.
Now I have one week to get married.
The money I saved whent to all expenses. And now my anxiety is kicking in like it never did in years.
I really don't know what to do and I
can't fucking sleep.10 -
So, this incident happened with me around 2 years ago. I was pentesting one of my client's web application. They were new into the Financial Tech Industry, and wanted me to pentest their website as per couple of standards mentioned by them.
One of the most hilarious bug that I found was at the login page, when a user tries logging into an account and forgets the password, a Captcha image is shown where the user needs to prove that he is indeed a human and not a robot, which was fair enough to be implemented at the login screen.
But, here's the catch. When I checked the "view source" option of the web page, I saw that the alt attribute of the Captcha image file had the contents of the Captcha. Making it easy for an attacker to easily bruteforce the shit outta the login page.
You don't need hackers to hack you when your internal dev team itself is self destructive.4 -
You know, I am astonished at the number of people here that use(d) Facebook. It's even more amazing that these same people are actually surprised that all this shit happened with their data.
I don't have a Facebook account, or Instagram, or Twitter, etc. When this stuff first started coming out, people kept telling me to sign up for accounts.
I refused, telling them that I didn't want to give my private information to a third party that I didn't even know. And not only that, but they can use the private information about you in any way they wish and also sell it to third parties.
I was of course told to take off my tinfoil hat... and it's only now that people are realizing that they are giving away potentially private information to people they don't know?
If I came to your door and asked you everyday to send everything you did that day to me so that I could file it away and use it as I please, you would probably tell me to get the hell off your property.
It just blows me away that if you put that same offer in the format of a website, suddenly people are begging to give you their data.
It's fucking lunacy... 😞3 -
!dev
This has been an eventful week I guess. Not a happy week, however.
A friend of mine passed last Thursday. We weren't too close, but we were still friends, and he was very close to a couple other friends of mine. He'd always had health issues, but he was only 19. He hadn't been out of high school for a full year.
Then I just found out today that another friend of mine got arrested for shooting and killing someone this past weekend. I don't know many details about what happened, mutual friends are saying it was self-defense. He's never seemed like the kind of person that would just murder someone, but shit happens.1 -
Holy fuckin shit. Fuck java updates.
Today we deployed to production with a java app. For whatever reason it didn't work, just throwing SSL errors left and right.
Same app works on dev and qa
There's only one tiiiiny difference: Java 8 141 on dev/qa, Java 8 171 on prod
Guess what happened in 171 ... they updated the CA
rip 4h debuggin5 -
A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!6 -
Most pissed off I've ever been at work when was I attending some development meeting about the "slow progress we were making", in which the boss (same one giving us shit for being slow) came up with several new good ideas that he wanted implemented ASAP. Same thing he'd been doing all year; fucking up our plans and adding a metric shitton of feature creep. I tried to give realistic estimates for how long it would take to implement, and casually mentioned that working on this would also push back the other stuff on our plate, but he snapped at me and accused me of being a "negative influence" and "sabotaging the project", and went on in a long rant about how we didn't take the work seriously enough and that we didn't put in enough effort.
I was a hair's breadth away from flying over the table and strangling him with his keyboard cable, and the only thing that kept me in check was the tiny amount of steam I vented by snapping the pen I was holding in two. We'd been working overtime every day for months to try to meet his insane demands and accomodate him by doing all the changes and additions he wanted done, and I found his tirade - mainly targeted at me - highly unfair.
Somehow I managed to exercise restraint, and I'm not sure if he even realized what happened.1 -
i wonder what happened to the bright eyed 18 year old version of me that had perfect grades and was on top of her shit. nowadays i can barely feed myself without feeling exhausted and I can't read a book to save my life2
-
TL;DR: Stop. Hating. On. Ads. Here are 5 reasons why:
1. "No one likes ads"
I love seeing *good* ads before I watch a YouTube video. Or I looked up videos that YT recommended because they sounded fun and they were fun:
- Coke - Hey Brother is an amazing and touching short film
- Fressnapf (="food bowl") had an incredibly enjoyable "things you didn't know about cats" video I clicked on purpose and it was good.
- I found JetBrains through ads (free for me, student perks. But tbh I use atom)
and I could name more.
2. What are the alternatives?
I know there are some non-profits and that's cool but you wanna be paid in your job, right? So ads are why Facebook (I know, Facebook isn't enjoyed here but), YouTube, stackoverflow, etc. Wikipedia asks for a few million dollars of donations each year because they don't run ads. Smaller businesses can't do that really. Hell, even codepen has a "sponsored" section. Imagine you would have to pay for all of those services.
3. "Manipulation"
isn't a bad thing unless you abuse it. I manipulate you when I say that I love codepen in the same way an ad does. No one forces you to use a product or watch an ad (you can look away and often times skip).
4. Adblock
What if everyone did that? Adblock blocks happened a while ago and the war between adblock and ad-senders is still ongoing. The moment you see an ad, you are using/watching etc something which the creators thought is worth making money off. If you don't think so, leave the site. I am an adblock user but if the site politely asks me to disable it and I enjoy the content - I will disable it with pleasure.
5. Targeted ads
Yes. The internet is a huge data-crawling piece of shit. But there are many more questionable or even dangerous ways of data-harvesting online. I am glad to see ads I like and not the ones my sister might like. Some services allow you to disable personalized ads. Or use vpn if you really want to.9 -
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??! I LITERALLY GET SPAM MAILS EVERY 5 MINUTES (i know I know, some of you get more than that) ABOUT BITCOIN. I NEVER DID ANYTHING FUCKING RELATED TO CRYPTO CURRENCY! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?? LIKE WTF. I'm sitting here doing my stuff and every few minutes my phone starts ringing and I'm like "hey maybe person x answered or something else important happened" but when I actually look at it to see whats up it's just a fucking email about bitcoin being outdated and it tells me to maybe invest into other crypto currencies. After actually reading one of the spam mails because I was interested in what they actually want from me I had to find out that they do not even mention any other currency or website. WTF INTERNET?? WHAT DO YOU WANT?2
-
How do I help my colleague in fighting harrassment?
This is the story of a helpless employee facing everyday harassment. Im trying to help. Seeking for your thoughts
Backstory fast forwarded: My company acquired another company. So we handle all their projects and clients now, but its a completely new domain. So we needed new people. Hired 4 employees + 1 team lead to start with. But the project process got delayed and they were free for a month. So i took 2 of them in my project and gave them some small tasks to help us over. They loved working with my team and were learning new stuff apart from what they usually did. And we were also happy of their contribution. We became good friends. All of this was in March 2020 before covid-19 was taken seriously.
About my company: I love this company. I have been in this company for more than 4 years now. People are really nice. Parties and fun events. Lot of smart and ambitious people. So company and people are awesome.
Coming back to the story. Lets call the team the 4 and team lead T. The 4 were happy that someone like T was in their team. This T had all the best knowledge about stuff and life was going to be awesome for the 4. Or was it?
Story starts: So I talk to one of these 4 on daily basis. Lets call this friend F. F is a real gentle person. Intelligent and dedicated to work. F is awesome to work with. And always enjoyed working. F is a team player and very very soft person. F is fking workoholic. So few days after project starts, F tells me work was not going well. F is getting real frustrated at work and not able to deal with it or find solution.
What happened:
This person T, who was supposed to help these 4, is real piece of shit. He is impatient, arrogant and MFing dick head. Aaaarggggg.
All the good qualities of a leader like supporting the team, boosting confidence, guiding team when they make mistakes, teaching them, were all missing from this person. T was a machine with no emotion and only clock working jerk. I have no idea how T cleared interview process, because one of the interview round is also about cultural fit into company. I know this because i take interviews for other domains. We have rejected lot of such well qualified but arrogant candidates.
So whats the problem now: this team of 4 are learning new tools and taking over the clients requests from old company. Most of the stuff is new for them. So in tat case people need lot of time to understand and figure out shit. people make mistakes while learning and you know have to deal with it. Person T abuses these 4 when something goes wrong. That's one.
Second, the T definitely knows more than these 4. So if these guys dont understand certain stuff they ask T. But T does not help them learn. T will either say busy or run away by saying thats simple and ull know when time comes. REALLY MF???
Third, T does not talk nice. T is rude and does not listen to team members. For eg, If F says some task cannot be done for some reason T will say, "y cant u do it? U r capable of doing it. Tats y u r in this job". And then point number one and two happens. Never responds to emails and messages. But if someone else does the same will not tolerate that and abuses them. List goes on.
So y not escalate and deal with that T:
This person F and other 3 are still under probation and they think complaint or escalation will back fire. These people do not want to lose job in between all this pandemic shit. They are scared.
So this was happening for a while. And i was giving lot of tips on how to handle certain situations. And how one should communicate these.
But being a gentle, soft and workoholic person, F focussed on work and assumed things will get in place as time goes by.
Today, F could not meet a requirement. So T told some shit which got F all sad. and F called up me late night and started crying explaining what happened. I felt real bad. I asked F to file harrassment case. F refused saying it was F's mistake on not completing requirement. WHO THE FK CARES. PEOPLE CANNOT TALK SHIT. I told ill file harrassment case against T. (We have a policy where others can also file if person is not courageous enough). But F did not allow me.
Then after calming down, I told F that telling the problems to me wont solve them. You have to talk to T directly and tell him on face not to talk like this. Or tell the manager about whats happening. Or tell the the HR about this. F said tat cant be done. I was like Y THE FK NOT.
Because the other 3 are not ready to talk about this to anyone as they fear they'll lose job. So if F talks and people question other 3 they might bail out. WAT THE HOLY SPIRIT.
so after lot of convincing F is still not going to
Talk to anyone about this.
So i have decided ill write an anonymous email to HR, the manager and other senior people in the organisation about whats happening.
I really dont know how itll go. Ill keep updating you guys. Feel free to share ur thoughts.3 -
OMG. This weekend, there is Rainbow Six Siege free to play on Steam. I have a desktop PC, but I can't get it to work. Tried Ubi support, but they give shit. So...I was hoping, I could finally try this crap game on my laptop. And here we go...
Normally, I use Linux. Only Linux, because Windows 10 on my laptop is extremely fucking painful. I knew it's going to be torture to install that game on it, but whatever.
OK, firstly, I was surprised, that Windows booted in just about 1 minute. I was like wtf just happened. Everything seemed to be fine and working. I downloaded uPlay, installed it and tried to install the game. Just to be clear, this rant is written from Linux again. And why?
Because FUCKING WINBLOWS desides to FUCKING UPDATE WIFI DRIVERS. 1 minute - internet works, second fucking minute - WIFI IS FUCKING DOWN. Thanks fucking pussy Gates. I really like you. And use this crap daily. Holy shit I would die...2 -
Well, shit is kinda hitting the fan literally.
Two of my four clients are closing down, and it all happened in a month.
Not really fearing for job security, but now I've scheduled an interview with nVidia that I dismissed two years ago. Let's see how it goes.5 -
Tl;Dr Im the one of the few in my area that sees sftping as the prod service account shouldn't be a deployment process. And the ONLY ONE THAT CARES THAT THIS IS GONNA BREAK A BUNCH OF SHIT AT SOME POINT.
The non tl;dr:
For a whole year I've been trying to convince my area that sshing as the production service account is not the proper way to deploy and/or develop batch code. My area (my team and 3 sister teams) have no concept of using version control for our various Unix components (shell scripts and configuration files) that our CRITICAL for our teams ongoing success. Most develop in a "prodqa like" system and the remainder straight in production. Those that develop straight in prodqa have no "test" deployment so when they ssh files straight to actual production. Our area has no concept of continuous integration and automated build checking. There is no "test cases", no "systems testing" or "regression testing". No gate checks for changing production are enforced. There is a standing "approved" deployment process by the enterprise (my company is Whyyyyyyyyyy bigger than my area ) but no one uses it. In fact idk anyone in my area who knows HOW to deploy using the official deployment method. Yes, there is privileged access management on the service account. Yes the managers gets notified everytime someone accesses the privileged production account. The managers don't see fixing this as a priority. In fact I think I've only talk to ONE other person in my area who truly understands how terrible it is that we have full production change access on a daily basis. Ive brought this up so many times and so many times nothing has been done and I've tried to get it changed yet nothing has happened and I'm just SO FUCKING SICK that no one sees how big of a deal this. I mean, overall I live the area I work in, I love the people, yet this one glaring deficiency causes me so much fucking stress cause it's so fucking simple to fix.
We even have an newer enterprise deployment. Method leveraging a product called "urban code deploy" (ucd) to deploy a git repository. JUST FUCKING GIT WITH THE PROGRAM!!!!..... IT WAS RELEASED FUCKING 12 YEARS AGO......
Please..... Please..... I just want my otherwise normally awesome team to understand the importance and benefits of version control and approved/revertable deployments2 -
Just graduated, first real internship.
So basically I'm the only one who do what I'm supposed to do, nobody can help me because they are on project that are totally different. Even my superior who hired me don't know what my predecessor exactly did, he just gave me his gitlab and said "continue... Whatever this shit was".
So I'm alone and the code of my "predecessor" doesn't work obviously because the half of the files are missing, the code has no explanation and he's not joignable. I have to build an algorithm of deep learning from scratch and to do a presentation in one month to explain to everyone why I'm not useless.
Is it really like this everywhere?? Is it the reason why DevRant was created??
I read the quotes when I was in school like "oh no c'mon that really never happened". Foolish boy I was..
But there's nice coffee6 -
Gotta love the IoT.
They set up a new surveillance camera in the company, that can stream live footage over the network and that little shit picked the IP adress of a coworker one day AFTER being set up.
Hurray for static routing. Hurray to the person who didn't disable DHCP on the router (Should probably configure my PC to use a static IP as well lel)
Anyways, this happened outta nowhere when I, the only guy who knows shit about IT and is usually present at yhe office, wasn't there and could not connect remotely.
The other, remote programmer, who set up the network, could guide the coworker to get a new IP but, he was worried that we got ourselves an intruder.
Since nobody told me yet that we (should) have static routing, I thought there was a mastermind at work who could get into a network without a wifi-access point and spoof the coworker in order to access the some documents.
The adrenaline rush was real 😨
Scanning the network with nmap solved the mystery rather quickly but thought me that I need to set up a secure way to get remote access on the network.
I would appreciate some input on the set up I thought of:
A raspberry Pi connected to a vpn that runs ssh with pw auth disabled and the ssh port moved.
Would set up the vpn in a similar fashion. -
So this happened when I was interning. We were developing an online application for hospitals. Now as it is with any new product. We had a lot of small issues popping up related changing of text or design colors. Now this piss kissing product manage of ours who has had no prior experience of a product of the scale we were developing started posting issues in the company’s internal whatsapp group. It was fine initially when the issues were less and small. However, when the amount and intensity grew, I suggested that he be given access as a issue poster on the git repo of the code.
Now I couldn’t comprehend his level of douchiness before hand but this guy started posting issued there but only a link to a google doc with the issue described there.
Then when came the time to change the status of these issues, I asked him to verify for his satisfaction that the issue is resolved and mark it as such. So Mr. Shitmenot started to maintain a fucking google sheet to maintain the status of issues and asked us to do the same. And upon demarcation he would manually change the color of the cells representing the issue. Like what the fuck dude.
I complained about this to my mentor who also happened to be he CEO but he couldn’t care less as if it was some debt that he owed the guy.
Safe to say I left the company shortly after things started to get out of hand and more shit began to happen. Yes there was more stuff that happened!!! -
About 4-5 hours ago I wanted to make simple websocket to get input from textarea and parse it on server and somehow got myself into developing in asyncio -> aiohttp -> graphql-core -> graphql-ws -> aioredis
and svelte-> typescript
I still didn’t make the stuff I wanted but I’m very close on backend at least.
I have some frontend part somewhere in my old prototypes so it will be faster if I figure out svelte.
Still don’t understand what the fuck just happened.
Maybe it’s because I wanted try those frameworks for a long time.
All ‘simple’ examples I found have around 20-30 files for backend and same amount for frontend so more then 50 files to get this shit working.
They’re called oh irony “simple chat”.
Now I see why no one fucking understands this shit.
I’m trying to cut mine to 5 files.
I thought developers are lazy bastards who don’t like write code.
But now after this they’re all looking like adhd coders.
Looks like Monday won’t be my best day.9 -
Most awkward video meeting?
Can a conference call count? This happened several years ago.
Diving into international markets that could potentially make us millions of $$ (no pressure), while the phone was ringing the CEO's number (in Norway), my manager leans over and whispers
DevMgr: "This project will be managed using *proper* software development methodologies, none of this agile shit you want to use."
<CEO picks up>
I had already been in talks with their dev team to get a feel for their tech stack and we had discussed project milestones, potential release cycles (laying the ground work for using agile methodologies) before getting upper mgmt involved.
The partner dev team was listening and kept throwing out agile buzzwords and I could tell my manager was getting pissed. He would blurt out "Those specifications will need to be fully documented before PaperTrail writes one line of code!". No one said anything, but I could tell the other mgrs/VPs in the room were uncomfortable with the hostility towards discussing features.9 -
The best happened today.
These past 2 weeks have been shit. People wronged me big time, got thrown under the bus for shit that the people behind refused to own up to it. Took that shit because I just couldn't be bothered to fucking argue.
I'm the only dev on this project and we're so close to release so I bit my tongue and took it on the chin but it's been eating me alive since then.
The tipping point was yesterday. 5 people failed to communicate shit properly amongst themselves on all channels got me forced to be the last one finishing work yesterday 4 hours after everyone left. I had every right to refuse and leave on time but again, we're so close to release and I don't want to see this project fail.
But see, I got angry. So fucking angry that nothing else has been on my mind since yesterday.
I don't take out my anger at others, that's not who I am (moslty) so today I was at work and secluded myself from everyone else otherwise I would've exploded in someone's face.
I was also supposed to meet up with friends tonight but with all this shit going on I decided not to go because I would not have been fun to be around.
Left work on time today, fell asleep on the train because I am too exhausted.
When I was about to walk into my house I noticed this little super cute puppy following me. I had no idea where or how long he's been behind me as I was walking home but he seemed way too happy when I saw him. His tail wagging like he's excited to see me even though I have never seen him. I petted him, played a bit with him. He seemed to be the happiest dog ever 😁. He managed to put a smile on my face for the first time in the last few days.
He then ran away.. I guess he got bored 😅
I am feeling so much better now all because of this little puppy 🐶. I'm so glad I ran into him because I've been smiling since then.
I wish I had took a picture of him 😥
Doggo, you probably won't read this, but thanks mate you made my month in those few minutes 🤘
If you have a dog, go pet him and appreciate how much happiness they bring in your life. If you have a cat.. Uhh I don't know... Uhh pray it doesn't kill you in your sleep I guess?
Thanks for reading3 -
Here is my day.
1. Mac wanted to perform an update.
2. I said Okay, Do it.
3. It took sometime, I thought WTF let's force reboot.
4. Shit happened. I am unable to boot as install is corrupted.
5. Reinstalled a fresh copy. I didn't have a backup.
6. Realised that my two days of work is gone since I haven't pushed the code to github.
7. Found out that I made a docker image with all of the latest changes.
8. Now trying to decompile and rewrite the code from the jar in docker image.10 -
When I was in school I was in a vocational school and my program was a Computer Service and Networking class and that’s what it taught it’s pretty self explanatory. BUT we also did some programming.
I was the only one interested in programming really considering everyone else loved the hardware. But when they would ask for help it was awful.
The book we used didn’t format the python properly on the page so you can’t really tell if there’s an indent if you dont know python well (they didn’t) which is okay.
But what isn’t okay is asking me for help and SENDING ME A FUCKING VIDEO OF THE COde LIKE FUCKING WHAT THE HELL MAN THAT SHIT ISNT EVEN READABLE AND YOUR HAND IS SHAKING LIKE YOURE HAVING A STROKE AT LEAST SEND ME THE CODE OR WORST CASE A PICTURE.
This happened more than once. 😤6 -
This happened a few years ago. We started this new project that was estimated to take 3 devs around 5 months to complete. We had a meeting where the client, the project manager, me and two other devs were present. When the client asked if we were still on track to complete the project by the end of September, the PM just said “yeah we are totally on track, no worries”.
Me and the other devs looked us straight in the eyes and nonverbally agreed that this guy has to be sniffing glue or something. For context: it was August.
After the meeting we immediately raised our concerns with him and our boss. The deadline was shifted and a freelancer was hired to assist. The PM quit shortly after and a way more competent guy took over. But the damage was already done.
In the end we finished that project in February or March the following year. Client was still happy but this shit triggered a whole clusterfuck of a year. Other projects were lagging behind because of this and we had to push out project after project that had accumulated in our backlog. -
Old story, happened some way back. I worked part-time for a small web development company that did between other things something called SharePoint development, basically .net webforms with shit glitter on top of it.
The most weird part of it, was the fact that we were working on vms that hosted the app, it was our dev, test and staging environment, as well as were we showed the client the polished turd.
Did I say that it was on a vm? Well it was on a remote vm, that each of use had access to it, through our domain accounts, and they couldn't configure the windows server to accept more than two or three users at once to be connected.
That was our test enviroment and dev enviroment, sooo showing the app to the client meant for the rest of us to not write any code because it might crash or get stuck.
The app was accessible and discoverable by url and through google search from outside, I dont think that should have been allowed.
The most disastrous part was that we had NO source versioning whatsoever, just plain old copy and paste in different folders.
Deploying to client meant remoting to the clients host or whatever it was, and manually copying the source files
If someone wanted to debug the application you had to shout, and you also could hear it, in the office: "I'm debugging!" or "I'm deploying!". Because we were on the same machine, there was only one process with the server and it meant that if you debug or deployed it would block it for the others.
Should I talk about code quality? Maybe not.1 -
I can't believe this shit happened in time for this week's rant!
Here it goes.
I have a table on AWS Athena which has partitions. Now, in the earlier versions of this project whenever I write something to a new partition a simple `MSCK` query worked (and keep in mind I am NOT deleting anything)!
Now, my so called Team Lead in the PR for the latest (major) release tells me to change it to an `ALTER TABLE`. I was like fine, but I did not add the s3 location to it, because it was NOT NEEDED. TL asks me to add location as well. I try to convince this person that it's not needed, but I lose. So there it is in production, all wrong.
Today I notice that the table is all fucked up. I bring this up in the stand up. The main boss asks me to look into it, which I do. Figure out what the issue is. This TL looks at it and says you need to change the location. I put my foot down.
"NO. What I need is to remove the bloody location. IT'S NOT NEEDED!"
TL's like, "Okay. Go ahead"
Two things:
1. It's your fault that there's this problem in production.
2. Why the fuck are you looking into this when I was clearly told to do so? It's not like you have nothing to do!1 -
Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:
If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.
TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.2 -
God damnit!!
Just got a team assigned for the course I follow and the codebase they work looks like someone shit on the floor and dragged it all over place. No consistency, no clear structure.
The project has to be built in PHP (which is fine by the way) following the principles of MVC. Did I say the codebase looks like shit all over the place? Well that's exactly what it is!!
They use $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] everywhere!! In every fucking file!! Why the FUCK would someone possibly want to do that??
I know I'm not perfect, but what the fuck!!
Now comes the most weird thing. They have to work on a remote server without SSH access, so working with FTP is mandatory. This is because the school won't setup ssh. That's fine by me, but because of that they don't use git!! They upload files directly to the production server. They merge everything manually. I asked why they didn't use git and the answer was so fucking SHIT!! "Because the teacher wants to see who uploaded to the server.."
First off all: what happened to git blame? Second: Later I heard that there is only one FTP account, so all the things they said where just bullshit!!
The fuck.
Tomorrow I'm going to try and convince them to use git..1 -
I already wrote this story in the comments to some other rant, still it's pretty funny.
So, i was modding my wii u by messing with system files, the only way to do this is to run an homebrew that hosts an ftp server so you can connect with your pc, the thing is, this server was not protected and allowed anonymous login, not an issue if you have a firewall.
BUT i had this console in the DMZ on the router for online play.
~You can see where this is going~
While doing stuff from my pc i started seeing a lot of entries on the console's log and i didn't understand why, i thought filezilla was doing some shit so i closed it but the log was still going, then i realized and quickly shut the server down.
Then i disabled the DMZ and went back to check what happened (unfortunately the log was only shown on screen and not saved, by closing the server i lost it) so looks like the attacker uploaded a lot of files with random names in pretty much every folder.
Due to the random names, I don't know which are system files and which attacker's files so i just kept them there. And today they should still be there.
--Random thinking--
What if the attacker also stole some files, he was hoping to get photos or valuable documents, but just got the console's system files and he thought something along the lines of "wtf is even this".
Also, how likely is that an ip scanner script gets to my ip in the 5 minutes i run the server, and (on the attacker side) how likely is to hack a server just to find out that's a wii u (the least successful console in the last generation)...
Moral of the story: double check your firewall if you are going to run an unprotected server.
That's it, stay safe :P2 -
I started programming on a new POS machine and I noticed that sometimes it reboots randomly. The boss and the assistance said that it's a well known bug and happened also in all old machines. Ah.... Ok.
And that shit costs a lot and it's stupid as fuck. Really? How the fuck is it possible? Sometimes I think that if I put a cardreader and a printer in a 50$ android phone I would save a lot of time6 -
Easy. I was in just 1, but i heard what they were all about. They happened weekly.
This boss mainly ran his hardware renting business. The software for that hardware was often optional, but they developed and sold that as a seperate company with almost the same name.
The guy had no idea what development meant. What it means to test. Everything he knew was hardware, and it just never really clicked. This means that bugs and non linear development cost for a feature were confusing to him to a point that when brought up or conflicting, he would look confused, and walk out the office without another word.
This guy would bust in, usually monday morning and call a "meeting"
They gather in the lunchroom as thats the only place everyone fit, and the guy would go on a 3 hour monologue on god knows what.
It was never positive and always full off complaints and idiotic ideas that the senior developer had to break down until as if talking to a big toddler, on why they do not work.
As a result everyones day started mizzerable, nothing got done. The software package was full of logic flaws. And everyone wanted to quit but didn't have the energy to invest in that.
During that internship 1 guy was fired. In the 2 months he was there he litterally did jack shit. And if he did anything it was the bare minimum, committed broken but compilable, and then wait for revision requests.
Yeah that place was a shitshow. I loved it, but never again. -
Yesterday I had to register my new credit card with a national payment app (MobilePay) and it kept giving me error 32, which says "a technical error happened please try again"... Real fucking useful u peace of shit app 😠
Turns out, after a bit of research, that it will sometime crash if you language is not set to a european language. Guess what? I had mine set to English... English (US)... 😧
Like, what the fuck is that? Why would you check if a person might be from EU, be checking the language setting?
Get your shit together 😑3 -
So arround a month back , I was watching videos and photos I clicked in the vacation I went.
All the photos and videos were in a 1TB harddisk and I connected to my TV for better viewing experience.
In the mid way, I had a power cut and suddenly TV switched off.
This was not supposed to happen because my inverter has to kick in !
Fuck it , something happened to my inverter and delay was just enough to switch the TV off.
Now TV is on , harddisk is recognised and
Hell yeah! There are no files in the harddisk!
I lost my shit !, Before I do any thing, I tried to recover the files, luckily some vacation images and videos were recovered but all of my project source code(the ones I Did not push it to github, those were done when I was learning), most of my documents etc.. were gone!
May not be the worst one , but I lost all my coding memories.I mean those projects were done in my school times.2 -
I really need to get out of this clusterfuck of a mess I got into, A.K.A. our website projects. Now, it feels more and more like all these problems and issues we're having are all my fault.
Here's the thing: I had 0 experience on web development before I got this job. I started as an intern, expecting to learn all the right practices and techniques on building websites. Nope. What happened was I was thrown in this big project, responsible for almost every functionality that it was supposed to have.
A junior-level guy. Doing a huge project on his own. Hell, I'm probably even lower than a junior. But here I am, pigeonholed in this shittard. My boss even said to me, "you know more about the website than I do." Fucking hell. He's not even aware of the clusterfucks I've done on the codebase because, fuck, what did I know? I don't even get feedbacks about my code. I don't fucking know if I'm doing all of these shit right. I don't know if this function is supposed to be here, or if it's supposed to behave that way, and, shit, the concept of test-driven development is probably something my boss has never heard of before.
So right now, I'm a bit obsessed with web development best practices, and how to write clean, maintainable code. I would probably get more learning from going to meetups than I will ever have from this place.
This has been a very shitty start of my career. I hope a much better learning experience will be plentiful at my next job (if anyone's willing to hire me). It would be like starting all over again. Sorry for the long post. I would like to put this as a blog post, but it's probably not a good idea, specially since I'm looking for a new job. Thank God for devRant.2 -
I haven't felt an urge to post on here in a while just because things have been going so well. But this month, is just not that kind of month anymore.
I'm upset. I'm upset by how I've been uprooted from my routine. I know I shouldn't be that bothered by it and things always change. But what the fuck is this company thinking to be using it's own fucking home baked ticketing system!
WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS THIS SHIT!
Let's go over the issues it has
1. I can't fucking email my clients through it
2. all emails are not recognized automatically. In other words each new email creates a new ticket if it does not have the tracking number attached to it.
3. I have to fucking hunt around in my inbox that is now bombarded by every email that is created for this ticketing system. Slap on a fucking tracking number. And then HOPE TO FUCKING GOD that the person on the other end doesn't erase the subject and cause the system to create a new ticket just for it.
Let's go over Zendesk which they've decided to decomission.
1. I. DON'T. HAVE. TO. DO. ANY. OF. THAT. FUCKING. SHIT.
2. That's it. It's fucking simple
Seriously. They forced me off of my original platform because this company already had a "ticketing system", if you can even fucking call it that, working.
And just if you weren't aware, all of this change happened because my company got bought out. It got bought out by this behemoth company that isn't willing to let me continue using a system; that has been very efficient, mind you, and instead make me use their system.
I. FUCKING. HATE. THIS.
Every fucking day! I have to do this stupid bullshit of emailing clients from my personal work email instead of on the direct ticketing system.
When I first started using this thing I actually thought I could use it to email the clients. For a solid two weeks I was "communicating" to clients through their ticketing system. Only to find out that the entire time those clients were not getting my actual fucking email! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Then these guys tell me after the fact. "Oh that's strange... We never noticed that you can't send emails through it... We always just had used our work emails."
Are you fucking jerking my chain! You guys have literally been sitting in this slimy pit of hell for so long that you don't even know there are better options out there!
You don't have to fucking live this life!!
I don't think I'm going to make it. Something needs to change. And I know upper management isn't going to do it, because I fought hard to try and keep Zendesk. They are not keeping it. After this next quarter it is officially gone.
I'm trying to think of coding solutions to make my situation better... But I shouldn't have to fucking do that! There are perfectly good working solutions out there, and this company doesn't want to budge because "that's the way we've always been doing it"
I'm going to fucking rip out my hair. -
Created a merge request for a big issue last week. Some dumbass co-workers merged several other stuff for tiny shit issues that lead to many merge conflicts now because they didn't pull before..
Nevermind.. will be merging develop into my branch for the third time now.. Got already 20h of extra work because no one minds to merge my request because it's so big and someone might have to check the commit messages what really happened..
Conflicts suck! Co-Workers suck! -
semi dev related(later half)
A common and random thought I have:
A lot of units that humans use are either needlessly arbitrary or based on something weird. Like Fahrenheit. That shit is weird! 0°F is the freezing point of a water and salt solution. What a weird fucking thing to use!
But also, I like Fahrenheit more. Probably because it's what I was raised with and switching is tedious (though I'm trying. I'd like to use metric more), but also because one degree F is a smaller, more precise change. You can describe more accuracy without decimals.
On the other hand I prefer metric for length. Centimeters, and centimeters are way more precise and way less confusing than inches and .... 1/8th inches? Who the fuck decided on 1/8ths?!
Which brings me to my common thought:
If you look at a Unix timestamp, you can approximate somewhat when it happened. Knowing the current timestamp and a few reference points you can see RELATIVELY what a epoch stamp translates to. A few days ago, an hr ago, 2014ish.
This leads me to think that if we actually taught from a young age to think in epoch as a unit (not as a replacement to normal date formats but as a secondary at first) that we could just naturally read epoch time in the same manner we read dates like "28/01/2006 14:24:10 UTC"
In your brain you automatically know how old you were when that timestamp happened. What grade/job and where you lived at the time. What season it was. You know how far into the day it was, a little before lunch (or after or whatever, your time zone will vary). Now try with 1138458250. I can usually get roughly the year, and month if I really think about it, but that's it. And it takes much more effort
I'm sure there's other units we could benefit from but epoch is the one that usually brings this to mind for me.13 -
Maybe it is too late for wk199 but i have interesting things that have happened recently.
1.After 3 days of panic buying shops still have stuff in them thanks to the logistic chain
2.I can finally focus on my project at home, i cant fucking belive that covid_19 did more for my education than my fucking university for past 3 years.
3.My dormitory has been captured by the military in order to be converted for quarrantine space. Noble idea IF I WAS FUCKING INFORMED BY IT BEFORE. Ok they had called me and explained thag stuff will be collected and put in separate bags so nothing will be lost... BUT THEY SAY THAT THEY MIGHT THROW AWAY FOOD
(my fridge is empty but i made a small stockpile of things like cereal or insta soups) If they will get thrown out i will GET FUCKING PISSED. Aparently that info was written in the newspaper but Im IN A OTHER CITY AND UNI ADMINISTRATION DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO WRITE AN EMAIL.
I hope my bed sheets are going to be collected too i dont want other fuckers to be using my shit. Not only i have to share room and bathroom i realy dont want to share items.
So i hope they will do that fucking propely.
1.Collect ALL OF THE THINGS
2.Dont throw anything out
3.Segregate them from my roommates shit so it wont get mixed.
I know we should do something about that pandemic but that is just borderline stupid. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ACT NORMALY AND JUST WASH HANDS, NOT BRING MARSHALL LAW AGAIN POLAND!2 -
Word is spreading that CNN, which is owned by Time Warner, got a reddit users IP from their mods, and with their relation to Time Warner, got his identity.
Then extorted him to apologize or be revealed.
This is huge, and we don't even know its the only time it has happened.
VPNs may not even truly protect you if the ISP can connect the dots over time, with time stamps.
Holy shit, CNN just weaponized ipv4
1 -
I wanted to update my previous rant in the comment but what happened is such a fucking nonsense I think it deserves its own.
For those who don't want to look what it is, just another C++ noob (aka me) complaining about how the language was a bitch to him by throwing a random SEGFAULT on release while it didn't show up on debug. Welp.
Half an hour and a ton of std::cout later (thought I would try to read a disassembly ? Think again) I figured out what was the problematic section of code. And guess what ? It was a section I didn't even modify and I never had problems with. Something completely unrelated to what I was rightly imagining causing the issue.
To identify which exact subsection was throwing the error to my face I added more tag code.
Rubbing my hands and ready to fix the fuck out of this damn shit, I built it, launched it…
And all of a sudden the code worked.
All I did. Was to add more cout to know which line fucked up. And now it works.
So. Serious question now: is it a clear sign from heaven I should stop working with such languages and should go back in my shitty high level languages kindergarten ?10 -
So the project I work on basically has to talk to a 3rd party plugin, through a 3rd party framework. The 3rd party plugin is a black box. This conversation happened:
Software guy: so we aren't sure what is breaking the thing. It's either us or the plugin, but it's probably both.
Systems guy: well then if we aren't sure then why are we writing an issue for it.
SWG: because we aren't sure but we know we are doing at least something that contributes. We read int X from a table and put it into a float. X doesn't perfectly represent in a float. It comes out X.0001. Then they take it and when it comes back it comes back as Y.0001. We cram it into an int so it becomes Y, we compare it to X which is really X.0001 and it comes back invalid.
SG: well as long as we are sending them the right number . . .
SWG: but we aren't sending them the right number. They are expecting X not X.0001. Then they send us back Y.0001 but it should be X so it's wrong.
SG: so they're giving us the wrong return value.
SWG: yes, but because we're giving them the wrong number.
SG: well not exactly . . .
SWG: yes exactly. It is off by .0001 because of floating point math.
SG: well . . .
Me: look it doesn't matter how it's breaking. But it IS broken. Which is why we're filling out the damn problem report. THEY ARE EDITABLE. We talked to the customer and gave them the risk assessment. They don't care. It happens rarely any way.
SG: then can we lower the severity?
Me: no. Severity doesn't relate to risk. That is a whole different process. Severity assumes it has already happened. It's a a high severity.
SG: but the metrics.
Me: WE GIVE THE METRICS TO THE CUSTOMER. WE TALKED TO THE CUSTOMER. THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
And that was how I spent Wednesday wondering how a level 4 lead systems engineer got his job. How many push ups did he do? What kind of juice did he drink?2 -
Well, it happened, my school managed to block SSH
It also means no more git, and if this shit isn't fixed I might be forced to use TFS
Whoop de doo
11 -
I now have further proof that Android 9's fancy Battery Management is shit:
The compass on my new (flagship) smartphone uses the air pressure sensor and the air pressure at sea level to display your current elevation. The air pressure at sea level is fetched from the weather app. And of course, the weather app has its battery policies set to auto-managed.
Can you guess what happened? "Weather app could not be found" and an elevation of -17m
Because no one thought the battery manager could decide that the weather app should not be launched by other apps. Has no one thought this through? Good thing I figured out what was happening pretty quickly.2 -
To all those who think global warming is fake, try running a notebook in this blistering heat of delhi, india. Was running my macbook and it shut down, froze, reach its inner temps to 90 celsius and had it do all sorts of frightening stuff that would cause you to shit your pants if it happened to your precious.2
-
Someone just left a small turd in front of the toilet bowl and stepped on it so now there's smeared shit on the floor tiles in a toilet stall.
Must be all the caffeine I guess.
Oh, and don't stand up too fast after taking a shit apparently, since I can't fathom how that happened.3 -
This was shit funny.
One morning, one of my colleagues got a direct call from project architect that he has to setup a meeting to explain in depth the project he has been taking care of for months and prepare a presentation and send an invite. Two weeks later we are all invited to this meeting. This colleague acting as host of this meeting prepared for few days on the PowerPoint and also a well crafted demo. Then as the architect joins, this colleague starts speaking about his role and the project. Within a minute, the architect interrupts him and says 'shut the fuck up, I don't think you are ready yet for this meeting maybe we need someone more learned...so hmm....let me explain it'. And this architect then uses his PPT for sometime and then pulls up a whiteboard and draws birds and spiders telling every time to see system in it.
My colleague is screwed to shit and is incapable to speak when closing the call.
Later ahead 4 weeks, his PPT is retouched and recoloured and attached to a Wiki page created by a unknown fucker who happens to have direct mobile calls with this architect.
Who's is faulty or not or what happened it still shocks most when this architect joins the scrum call daily. Fuck him.1 -
Does anyone watch the movie The Mack (1973)?
Today I am working with some legacy code written by a shitty developer who isn't with us anymore. Every time I make a change the code screams at me with problems.
Every error makes me feel like saying this quote from Goldie the pimp...
"List to me and listen good. I don't give a shit what happened to you!.......get back out there and get me my money!" -
I think I need glasses (or at least more coffee) but every time I think about contributing to an open source project maintained by a "Comunity", i find out that I missed the smelly bits in theire massive coc that they want to ram down your throat.
Eigther I missed them every time or some fuck puts them in after I read them.
The first time it's about mostly Standart shit like: don't troll/flame/insult/detract. But than I start seeing: Sexism, Racism, xenophobia, hetotonormativity (wtf nodeJs)/homophobia insta ban. They even assert that you should apologize even if you did nothing wrong and your not allowed to stand your ground or your banned.
And if the mod pulls a fast one on your buddy, not allowed to be discussed in any public forum or your banned too.
What happened? I was sure that only the bigger repos had that shit (like the Linux kernel (that bans you for being pro trump). Have I missed something?
Fuck every repo that does that shit. They ain't gonna get my time or money.6 -
I hate application launchers.
When i start an application, i WANT IT TO START. What i don’t want is your bullshit, custom, logo and splash screen infested piece of shit launcher to start up, with the only option of loading a project or file up, or worse than that, when the only option is to start the fucking application, which should have already happened.
Also, splash screens. Fuck your 5second branded splash screen when your cocksucking application has the fucking loading footprint of MS Notepad.2 -
love hate kinda deal with this. But I am creating a program in answer set programming that would help me analyze famous chess matches from legends such as B Fischer, Carlsen, etc in an effort to stop at one point and predict what could have happened differently in the match in order to make the other player win. I am adding limiters as to not propagate into every fucking solution in existence else the processing power required to solve this shit would be all too hardcore. I learned about this programming paradigm in one of my graduate level classes using a tech known as Clingo, which is similar to Prolog. I am doing it cuz I sucked at Clingo and because of my pride I aim to make this project a reality to properly say that I know how to use it.
current status: failing somewhat miserably4 -
A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!
Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...6 -
oh my goodness if I dhsfjhsjfhj
i can barely type right now im so frusterated
I've told my manager multiple times that I don't feel comfortable with the task hes trying to give me because it feels way too large (its designing/programming/testing/documenting an entire prototype cloud file sync application and server backend service on my own, replacing one we have had for several years) and he still just ignores me and persists that I should be thankful for the opportunity and challenge.
It pisses me off so much when people say dumb shit like, 'its a great opportunity to learn' at work. No it isn't. Your boss is going to be on your fucking case for taking too long or not delivering enough, and thats exactly what happened. He got upset and said he was expecting more things to have been written down by now, like design notes. I was just fuming. Design notes? I'm not even a freaking designer, I've never designed any type of big software ever, what the fuck do you want from me.
On top of that, I don't know where the hell he expects me to get time for this. I'm apparently also devops so I get yoinked off of anything im doing if some stupid thing breaks in some other environment about something I really don't even care about. Any other random ass task just gets dumped on me too. I'm supposed to be a 'junior developer', and get paid as such (i've wanted to go to the intermediate level but get told the title doesn't actually matter and no pay raise for you) but I get the responsibilties of a whole fucking team dumped on me and its just
do I just quit now? I'm just, for fuck sakes man4 -
A long time ago in a decision poorly made:
Past me: hmm we're having trouble getting IT to give us a new build machine with the new compilers.
Past me: I know we'll just use one of the PCs that belongs to a member of the team to tide us over.
[2 months pass]
Present me: that's odd, Jenkins is really slow today.
[Several minutes pass]
Present me: holly shit fuck; it's building the whole weekends worth of builds at 9am on a workday and eating licenses like a cast away that suddenly teleported to an all you can eat buffet.
Present me: [abort, abort, for the love of fuck abort]
Present me: contacts IT, they can't find any problems, wtf happened.
Present me: discovers team member turned off his machine on Friday and builds had been stacking up all weekend.
Lessons learnt: disable power button on team members pc and hire a tazer guy to shoot whenever someone goes near the wall socket.
1 hour lost and no build results for the last 3 days.
It's looking like a bad morning
-
Dev1: "what was that requirement? I mean, do you remember that little yet hugely important detail ...?"
Dev2: "hmmm sort of ... Maybe it's in one of the emails, possibly 2 months ago. Let's try to find it"
Dev3: "wait, probably Dev1 was not included for some reason in that thread of emails"
Dev2: "no wait, I mean the other, the one we used to talk about those other specifications from previous meeting..."
[and the story goes on]
Now you may think "ok, this event happened once and was a misstep. Shit happens"
Actually, this is the bread and butter in this company I collaborate with. All their requirements are spread across thousands of emails, usually mixed together and possibly forked into different threads. Often people are cut out from conversation because someone forgets to "reply all", other times they're lost in time.
When I asked them "why don't you use some other tool, maybe something more organized and easily searchable, something structured..."
They replied "no no, we prefer to use email for historical reasons"
My brain just melted like chocolate under the sun2 -
I fucking can't keep this to myself so I am writing this piece of shit...
People are now working from home as much as they can and some non-remote companies here are now considering allowing their employees to work from home.
"That's great", you would say.
No, it fucking isn't.
I am working from home full-time.
"Great, so you have nothing to be worried about!"
I wish.
My brother still has to go to school. They fucking allowed everyone who just arrived from holiday 10 days ago, mostly in Italy to stay. If you ask someone nicely, almost nobody will listen. And that's exactly what happened.
"Why won't your brother just stay at home?"
Well, because my mom is one of those "Fuck it" people, who will not do a single thing to fight something she is not dying from (and maybe even if she was). She is very strong believer and she says every time I want to talk to her about almost anything serious "What is to happen, will happen". And that's fucking it. With this approach the phrase "What is to happen, will happen" is going to turn into "What is to not happen, will find it's way to you anyway".
Fortunately, my country doesn't have many infected. Yet. But it won't last long. Sick people are already here and we only know they are here, because they are responsible. People who don't care, or weren't tested after coming from abroad, deserves to be burned alive.
I just hope, we won't end like Italy and people coming from foreign countries will take the 14-day home quarantine seriously now when our government is going to fine people who don't give a fuck.5 -
I just wanna cry rn, I'm not even mad. Something happened while trying to install High Sierra on my third partition and somehow both my drives (HDD and SSD) stopped working. Nothing boots. Files? Probably gone. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I was careful, I didn't click or execute anything I didn't know. How? Just... How?
Now I have to hope my important stuff is still there and I can recover it. If it's just the EFI fucked up, ok, I can fix it. If the partition table is fucked up (most probable) idk if I can fix it, hopefully I can. AAARGH
There goes my entire day or even the entire weekend... All because I don't own a piece of shit of an iPhone and needed an emulator to try to reproduce an issue on a fucking webapp for a client.8 -
Some time ago I shared a story about negotiating a raise. After that I talked with boss a bit longer and he gave me a new assignment which is not really dev-related. His logic was that I know Java so I should be able to do this since system I'm going to work with is written in Java. Yeah, right.
I have to configure document-flow system, eDok, for our client. I have absolutely no idea about all this document processing and such, but oh well. It's his money.
To do so, my boss bought an serwer with Ubuntu and our client has installed it. I finished a beta version of my last project and today had to start working on this eDok shit. I tried to log in, but nothing was working. From the logs it looks like HDD has failed.
Well, at least it has happened now and not after I've configured everything 😅 -
WARN: Heavy Sarcasm ahead
I just *LOVE* taking calls non-fucking-stop on my fucking birthday, ALL DAY LONG(!!!!!) because our most *DEAREST* fucking client can't get theirs up unless they escalate shit to the highest levels, namely the fucking CEO who loves to sell the company's self esteem just so that he can gag on the clients penis. Best part? It happened RIGHT.WHEN.MY.VACATION.STARTED.
*I LOVE MY JOB SOOOO MUCH*3 -
The last Windows 10 update (10 days ago) has fucked up my dual boot with Elementary OS (Linux distro). I tried many things to retrieve it but with no success !
So I reinstalled it ! So now I would like to know how to prevent this shit happened again. Is there a way to do that ? Maybe a /boot partition or it's unnecessary ?7 -
This happened today !
Mom : Son, there is a python sleeping at the door, I need some help.
Me : Don't worry mom, I have anaconda, type conda activate and then python run. Matter is solved.
Mom : Anaconda ?? 🙄
Meaanwhile Me : Ohh shit, I need to rest 🤣2 -
Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..
But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!
So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.
I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!
I guess I'll just have to live with it :/2 -
I feel like internet is becoming shit. At first if we googled about something, we can have proper knowledge about it. But now because some bloggers need web traffic, they post even false information about something. Second, If we want to learn something we have to pay for everything we want to know. Ofcourse still some people still teach for free, but most of the time google shows us Udemy, Coursera like that. What happened to gain knowledge through internet?
-
Setting up the meeting agenda in an accessible place (the same doc used for every recurring meeting which is accessible by everyone in the team) and having the calendar invite that goes to their emails... And guess what?
Those SCABBY NUMPTIES still find a way not to see the fucking video conference link (or sort out their calendar, they are freaking CS grads) and then proceed to spend at least half the meeting (and often showing up late) not having a clue what was expected of them...
YA DIMWIT!! EVERYTHING IS IN THE SAME DOCUMENT, AND YET YOU DIDN'T KNEW WHAT TASKS YOU HAD TO DO BEFORE, INCLUDING THE ONES YOU WERE TOLD TO DO WEEKS AGO???
They all have a BSc in CS (one of which has a MSc) and yet shit like this happens occasionally.
And that happened several times.2 -
To add a bit more context to my last rant.
The following situation happened today and similar situations are at the moment common as fuck.
Situation started roughly 1 1/2 months ago as a deployment failed.
Seemed to be a DNS problem for the devs, so my basic assumption was that they checked their shit.
As I was and I am currently more than swamped, told them it had to wait if it is an DNS issue...
Well.
Backstabbing product manager complained to upper management as it took so long.
Backstabbing manager even went so far to propose alternative solutions - think of switching product to work around issue and throwing away a year of development of a 5 man team...
So additional to my work I had to deescalate and prevent complete nonsense.
Today I finally found time for the problem.
After 2-3 hours of turning every stone inside the DNS setup, cloudflare, loadbalancers, etc...
Well. Devs. Don't trust them.
Turned out the devs misconfigured the environment entirely.
Its not so obvious in this product as it is rather complicated, though the devs documentation explicitly mentioned that if one overrides the configuration for e.g. several languages, one has to make sure to set two env variables for TLS mode...
There was only one set.
:(
8 fucking weeks of backstabbing and blaming others while they could have just read their own fucking documentation and fixed that shit in 5 minutes.2 -
I wanted to build a custom notetaking app, because all the alternatives are shit
I have a decent bit of experience with web development, but I've never tried electron before
Anyway, I decide to go with electron, because it seems like the easiest choice for my skill set
I build most of the app, and it's all working pretty well, and so I go to bed for the night
I come back the next day, and now the motherfucker won't load and display HTML pages aside from the main one.
So I start debugging. I go through each line of code, each external link, all my dependencies, everything. There's no JS debug output, nothing
I leave for a few minutes to get a glass of water, and now all of the sudden it works again
And I don't even know what happened, how it got fixed, or what even caused it
Electron is weird10 -
What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?
You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?
What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.
It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.
Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.
At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".
2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!
Fuck you Microsoft.8 -
I remember when i was first deciding whether to do web programming or desktop applications, i chose java/C/C++ mainly because I already had experience. Back then when i was researching web stuff it was HTML + CSS + javascript and something called jquery, ok cool seems like I can pick it up in the future. Fastforward to 2018 and i was looking to get into it, BUT holy fucking shit what a confusing minefield and cesspool of javascript horror and frameworks and bloat, wtf happened??
-
The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
-
!rant
Today I planned to work on my Java school project. I have clean install of windows 10 and I opened Netbeans as usual. No source tab, just history. HOW THE FUCK I CANNOT EDIT THE FUCKING CODE IN FUCKING IDE, I asked. I think let's uninstall this crap and install again then this shit happened. (It's good to have a second computer in my dorm, it's called redundance I guess)
6 -
Next big game announcement of today:
Fallout 76
https://youtube.com/watch/...
After a 24h Livestream where basically nothing happened. Curse you, master trolls of Bethesda.
(I should probably stop doing this shit before E3)3 -
Worst enterprise software experience... I was fresh out of college, and needed money. I was working in a call center, fielding IT helpdesk calls for a major US telecom company, who had just acquired a competitor. One day I got to work and about ten of us were given a new desk, new phone number, an an email address at the newly acquired company. My manager said to us "We have no clue how any of their proprietary systems work, what servers they run on, or how to login to them. Your phones are ringing, make sure you take good notes so the Tier-1s can help out next week. Good luck."
Trial by shit-storm fire, all while trying to convince the caller that yes, I did know what I was talking about. It was a lot of cold calling random employees whose job title in the corporate directory looked even remotely close to somebody I could escalate a ticket to. They didn't use the same ticketing system we used, so it was a lot of copy/pasting between two ticketing systems. To this day, I still have no clue what happened to their original call center staff. I'm sure they must have had one, but it seemingly just dissolved overnight.
That job was the springboard to my development career. I left for a gig in software helpdesk, then to quality assurance, automated testing, and now I'm a senior DevOps engineer. It was worth it. -
!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore
I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing4 -
Bloody fucking Android! Updates, updates and more updates! My development Nexus 5X won't allow me to sideload apps since it updated... Hello, printf debugging! Goodbye, profiler and debugger!
My hate for Android grows with each version after 4.0.$something... 2 was shit, I missed 3, 4 was OK, and since then it's going steeply down.
And don't get me started on Material Design...! Good luck figuring out what's a button and what's a label...
And what's up with the "let's keep all apps running all the time to save a few ms on start" philosophy!? Who thought that is a good idea!? Yeah, System.exit(0) works, but... Is it so hard to determine when it's not needed anymore (has no services running etc.)? Why should a web browser (for example) stay in memory after I quit? Minimize is a thing (Home button), why make it so confusing?
Another thing - feedback-less async tasks - why? I like to know when it is working in the background... How the hell am I supposed to find out if it is supposed to do this or if it is frozen?
And Android deciding to kill your process whenever it pleases without any callback... Happened to me once with an Activity in the foreground (no exceptions anywhere in my app, it just quit). How do you do IO properly? It seems you can't guarantee some file or socket or something that must be closed doesn't stay open (requiring to restart Bluetooth 'cause the socket wasn't closed, for example)...4 -
I don't know what but our customers have put new terms in our contacts. That essentially make us liable if we don't take certain measure to protect the access to stuff.
To me that means I have to log out of my computer whenever I leave my seat. I was told its not necessary if I go to toilet. So I set the computer to require login after 15 min of not doing shit. Usually I remember that and log out manually so that's just precautions measure.
Today before I got lunch, I forgot. And my boss happened to notice my computer was on within that 15 min after I left.
I got a warning.
Fuck this shit. I now set th timer to 1 min.
Now I need to login again and again if I'm reading docs or article.
Fucking shit.2 -
Had to optimize today a DB File / MySQL 5.7
I'm sometimes sad that software cannot bite people in their crotches, shit in their faces and fuck their eyes out.
The config was non commented and a disaster.
Yay. Let's set thread_cache to 16K while max connections is 50.
And raise limits like max files without adjusting SystemD / ulimit
And OF COURSE MySQL sucks...
So let's migrate to PostGres.
*Brainfart*
This has happened way too often.
Really. Software should have the right to punish dumb people. At least ... 10 kv shock to teach a lesson.1 -
My little journey of regrets:
I remember when I was fourteen, I opened a small gap the door of "programming". It were the first steps of html, tags and what they do, to be precise.
"May, looks good. Thanks for the glimpse. Cya"
For about the other half of my life only magic happened at my desktop.
And now I'm standing once again at the door of programming trying to breach it with nukes n shit.
"Giev me all the knowledge plx, teach me senpai! I will never ignore and betray you again!" -
When yu runing an Old system and it just sticks juring coding and yu realize yu wrote 120 lines without saving
-
Person from a company I am contractor for tried to fuck me up and put me to the project with high money penalties without my will and behind my back.
I don’t understand those people.
You run a project do everything for them except delivering invoice to client and they try to fuck you anyway behind your or their client back.
You literally fight with people to give them money.
This all happened after me keeping their client project for almost 4 years.
Bell rings again to leave them this year after end of contract and don’t look back but I’m sad I need to leave nice client and application I was making for 4 years straight. I am oldest person in project probably only one that understands business behind it from ground up.
There was big rotation in project and knowing the company they will put some junior on my place that will break everything.
Well I still have some time to think ( maybe even couple of months) about what to do next besides taking some time off during this summer.
I am afraid that I rejected so many interesting offers during those 4 years nobody wants me and I got rusty with my stack I am no longer competitive.
I was unable to make anything during weekend and on Monday again cause of this shit.
Fucking people.4 -
Gitlab issues and their mile long conversations are driving my crazy.
I just wanted to find out if a fcking feature exists. Oh, there is a ticket ... ah cool opened 4 years ago ... still unresolved?!
Thats fine, maybe they are planing shit. But no, their discussion lasts for freaking years. And than it just gets lost or fcking closed. I mean what the hack?!
Sometimes even paying customers are getting freaking ignored or like ... ugh might be a cool feature, but plz fck off ...
That happened to me so many freaking times. Its driving me crazy!4 -
Couple months ago I mentioned that the product group needed to involve engineering when making promises to the business. Otherwise they were going to write checks our asses can't cash.
Welp, now the situation has happened and I pointed out that a lot of things have been promised for delivery that we haven't planned for or even seen in engineering. And things that I have been harping on haven't even been accounted for and, unlike business promises, these are legal requirements. Now I'm the asshole because I pointed this shit out in front of the whole team.1 -
Damn lots of you knew this shit before turning of age.
I didn't code a single line until I went to college.
I tried to, but it was just too fucking complicated and I didn't understand a thing. Tried to grasp how to use some tools like Unity or an Adventure Maker of sorts and something called Flix for Flash games. Didn't understand shit.
I decided to study systems engineering due to a career aptitude test I took hoping somehow that way I could learn sthg.
First thing I was taught was bash.
When I realised I already knew enough to code a whole text adventure from scratch with such a simple language I felt really hyped.
Always loved text and graphic adventures.
Afterwards I was taught the Z80 assembly language and how CPU registers worked and it blew my fucking mind.
That was the first half-year.
Then I was taught C. And boy was it hard. Didn't get how memory was being handled until the very end.
I happened to be one of the few passing a stupidly complicated semifinal test with triple indirection pointers.
That felt goood.
Learning other languages afterwards was a piece of cake. C#, Java, X86 assembly, C++...
It was a hard door to open. Fucking heavy. But now nothing seems black magic anymore and boy isn't that something to be proud of! :D -
got kicked out of a contract today because the owner felt I wasn't moving at the pace he wanted, there were no milestones but even i knew I was slow.
this happened when I started talking to a therapist because I was beginning to have suicidal thoughts and anxiety issues.
I had to run work errands for my everly screaming mom and manipulative dad.
these same people who I begged with no success for money to buy a used core 2 duo laptop for programming projects.
I was in the bus in the afternoon sun trying to get three books from a publisher that ended up being a waste of time because she didn't follow instructions and insisted on screaming over the phone at the attendant. the client requested a meeting and I couldn't respond positively,
I get home and my dad wants me to travel down to our village home to meet with some kid he kept giving money because they wanted to have a meeting. I'm so annoyed because I told him I wanted this week off to face this already dead contract and he just ignores all of that and fixes a meeting.
I pay for electricity and gas for these people and they still treat me like shit. fuck this !1 -
Not dev related.
Two incidents that I'd like to share.
So here in India two major streams for college are engineering and medicine (others do exist). So entrances to both these colleges are based upon entrance exams. So here are two "events" that happened this year and worth mentioning.
Incident 1:
The exam for the engineering stream had a section where the answer is a number with up to two digits of decimal. Range is (0.00 - 9.99) So apparently this two decimal precision created some confusion and the court decided that if the answer is precisely "seven" then only the candidates who've marked 7.00 are given marks while those who marked 7.0 or 7 were given wrong answer.
Incident 2:
So for the medical entrance, exam was for 720 marks (180 questions * 4marks each). So every candidate from the state of Tamil Nadu were given a full 196 marks as bonus because the translations from English to Tamil we're inaccurate.
Now I need to mention that around 300 marks would fetch a decent seat in a government college.
What the fuck is happening? One the only thing they're supposed to conduct every year is also messed up. And who the fuck created complicated shit like 7.00 is correct while 7.0 and 7 are wrong. I mean should the candidate worry about the getting the answer or marking it?
For those who don't know wrong answers are penalized heavily and there's huge competition.
https://m.timesofindia.com/home/...
https://m.timesofindia.com/india/...1 -
Happened today on the way home
---
*Doesn't feel keys in usual pocket*
Shit, where are my keys?
*Checks other pockets*
Oh, I put them where I usually put my wallet.
...
Shit, where is my wallet? (I forgot it on my desk 🤦♂️) -
Soo, after reading a post about Fedora Workstation I figured, why not try it out. It has some awesome productivity tools!
I donwloaded the ISO, made a bootable USB stick and started my PC into Fedora live.
At first it looked awesome! I really looked forward to working with it. I installed it and restarted my PC. It booted up I choose Fedora and I saw a login prompt.
Everything's fine until now. I logged in, no problem. But after that the screen just turned black and only my mouse was visible. I thought, maybe it's because it's loading something.
I waited a couple of minutes but then i got really frustrated because nothing, literally nothing happened. So I forced a shutdown and restarted. I logged in again.. and... Well at least the screen wasn't black anymore. But it was not good either. Artifacts everywhere. I could not read what the screen said.
So I reinstalled it and couple of times, black screen after artifact screen.
I don't really know who's to blame here. Nvidia or Linux/Fedora or something else (I highly think it's Nvidia tho, fuck Nvidia and their anti Linux mood ).
I will try Fedora on a laptop somewhere in the Future again but for now I've had enough of that shit combined with the aftermath of resetting everything back to normal (removing grub etc).
If anyone has some advice concerning the Nvidia problem I'd highly appreciate that.
It's a GeForce 650ti1 -
don't you just love it when you have to fix a system that consists on unnecessary junk code, horrible/lack of indentation, no documentation and the clients says "I don't know what happened fix it and I'll post you good"
I mean, I live for this shit man! -
Maybe not specifically "dev" but certainly a relatable rant to anyone here:
Moms small business gets "hacked," or standard spyware phone call from India let us save you for only $149 kind of crap. She obviously gets upset had a panic attack and thinks about all the sensitive shit on their network. Then, ONLY THEN, does she call me and the rest of the cavalry i.e. over payed and undermotivated IT guy to ask what's up why it happened and whose fault is it.
All is well, no ransom paid, no data lost or tangible damage done, but I am positive it will happen again, because it is impossible for people to internalize that they're the problem that money can't fix.
You clicked the unsolicited link. No amount of antivirus bloatware will ever be able to stop the monkey from trying to see what's in the box.
TheBut keep not paying me or people more qualified than me, and then scream and yell and pout when your shits gone and we can honestly say with a grin and a clean conscience that there is nothing we can do. -
Fucking Ubuntu.
I got the shit because wanted to try it out.
It was intended to get installed in a SSD, which had a Windows installation and 100gb free.
Even showed the option to install it alongside Windows.
I heard a little voice in my head saying "manual partition just to be sure".
But thought Hey, this option says it will install it alongside Windows.
What happened? Ubuntu used another drive, part of a 3 disk RAID0 array.
So now I've completely lost 1tb information (because it was THE backup).
At least I still have 100gb free on the ssd.
Fuck you ubuntu and Fuck you canonical!5 -
Last night on uyouthe’s weird dreams:
- I gave an interview about my ex and why she died
- my other ex got involved in huge marketing campaign of a new laser surgery by receiving said surgery but they somehow completely evaporate her pelvic and hip bones with laser. I saw her body after that happened
- I somehow live in 2003 Netherlands and work for some scientific lab as a frontend developer. All that ie and ancient JavaScript shit but I like that, processes and culture are flawless
- many other weird shit regarding self-driving vehicles being a mainstream and me owning one, my grandma turning evil and send swat to take me down, also I met a lot of hipsters at defcon and I don’t know why are they there
All that in one dream. Amazing. -
You know shit just happened some minutes ago if somebody writes an entire rant in CAPS.
#gonnafuckingpostthisondevrant -
time to head into javascript code testing, as i'm annoyed af of testing everything by hand whether my feature works and find the cause to some problems i have encountered
.... but first let me "npm init -y" and "npm i jest" (as the tutorial suggests) real quick in my git project ... whoops😯😐😶🤨 ... woah, ok ... 5000 added files, shit, dependencies 🙄... delete all ... git error😐😥
delete folder manually😪😅
resuming paused tutorial: "and if you've got a git repository, just install jest globally, do not do this in your repo!"
.... just happened to me😑😅2 -
ghub piece of shit
damn fucking shitty software. It happened to me in the past(like thrice times) that my mouse got randomly locked at the highest dpi until I uninstalled and reinstalled ghub... well it improved with the time and lately I haven't had that issue anymore, but hey today just for my daily stand up the mic decided to stop working out of the blue(headset is logitech too)... then fuck it didn't have time to troubleshoot that, made my way around using camera mic 🤪
Soon after I finished my meeting, decided to check on ghub to see if the software didn't detect the headset or whatnot... as soon as I tried to open it "ghub is updating", because of course, it can't tell you in any way that you should update it or your devices would not work until you open the goddamned software4 -
I wonder if we will have a sprint review meeting for 2016. You know to prevent the shit storm that happened to continue ...
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