Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

This one time, a client wanted a complete overhaul of her website.

I asked her for the credentials to the VPS, She gave me some random crap to try, cause clearly the site hadn't been touched since 2003 (and boy was it fugly).

Me: Maam, these aren't the correct details.

She sends in more crap to try...2 days pass with this back and forth.

Client: "contact steve, he should have the login details"

Me: ****Calls Steve *****
Me: "Maam, he says the login details are in your mail"

Client: "well, I don't remember this fact. Steve handled everything.
Hack into the website and then reset it.

The Russians did not need login details to hack into America's system. So please, do what you have to do to get us moving."

No jokes...that was the exact crap that came out of her fingers

So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!

Here's a list of unpopular stuff which I agree with:

1) I love Java more than any other programming language.

2) I love sleeping more than working.

3) I'm not a night owl. I thrive the most during daylight.

4) I don't like or need coffee. Tea is fine.

5) Webdev is a huge clusterfuck which I secretly wish that could just die already.

6) Cybersecurity is a meme and actually not that interesting. Same passes for Cloud, Machine Learning and Big Data.

7) Although I'm a huge fan of it Linux is too unstable and non-idiot proof to ever become mainstream on the desktop.

8) Windows is actually a pretty solid OS.

9) The real reason I don't use macos is because I'm a poorfag that can't afford an overpriced laptop.

10) I don't like math and I hate that people push math shit into random interview questions for dev jobs which have nothing to do with math.

Post yours.

Coworker in my team recently said to boss:

"Thanks, this conversation with you has taught me so much about single-threaded blocking I/O"

Some random PR comments from our company's repository:

"Are you insured? I hope you are insured"

"Learning git is not that difficult. You only need one command: git reset --hard"

*Link to amazon for dog poop bags*
"Please clean up your shit, before I step in it"

"Have you thought about a career in sales? At least there you might sell your bullshit"

R: Random ass recruiter on LinkedIn
Me: me

R: Hey I was searching for X skill and your name popped up first. Would you like to work for our company? It's an urgent position with good pay and awesome latest tech

Me: I quit that very company 5 months ago, because the pay was low and the tech was from the 1990's.

R: :/

Me: :|

PS: I'm not 100% sure of this, but based off the tech stack, I'm pretty sure it was for the same fucking position I quit from.

I'm really not much of a drinker, but last night I was apparently.

I thought I played video games until I passed out on the couch and was carried to bed.

This morning, my laptop reveals to me that I had an idea for a web app last night because I made a very misspelled, yet highly detailed to do list for the app, a very blank index file, and 37 open tabs of what looks like research for certain web features.

Project seemed to be some sort of organization thing with a lot of really random and unrelated features like "fruit meterr that scales different fruits you earn" (what does that even mean??) and "sassy bill reminder".

I'm closing out all the tabs I had opened, when I see the tab showing the domain name I chose and bought. I even got the SSL certificate and email domain purchased.

Drunk me seemed to have been really excited about this idea 😶

Interviewer: "Show me a cool side-project you have been working on!"

Me: "No! I do not have a cool side-project to show you! I work to pay the bills, and do other things in my spare time! Like go fishing, or play video games. Why the fuck are you assuming that I spend my weekends coding for fun!? Do you call random people asking them questions every Saturday and Sunday just for the LOLs of it?"

Sitting outside, in the park, sunny, warm, music, writing a new blog post for the security/privacy blog.

I actually love this 😊

The new Dutch mass surveillance law goes into action on the first of May. I'll of course have a good security setup ready but that does not stop the bulk data collection.

I just setup a website which (still in English at the moment) requests a random search result from bing, google or DuckDuckGo every 3 seconds.

Will work on making it more 'real' :)

If stopping the surveillance isn't an option, let's add more data to filter out for them!

Arghhh, rant time :|

So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)

The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.

Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.

Soooo, pointless :|

(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )

*Posting screenshot about random stuff*
Typical comment: Why are you using light theme, oooh my eyes 😨

*Posting something related to Windows*
Typical comment: Why are you using Windows, use Linux like "pro", btw I am using Arch 🙄

*Posting something related to IDE*
Typical comments: use vim, why are you using that

*Posting something related to Java*
Typical comment: Java is slow ( 🤮 ), use Python it's cool.

*Posting something related to JavaScript*
Typical comment: js is cancer, get rid of it and use {some_other_language}

Just a normal day on devrant 🤷

(not mentioning of course non dev related sick comments)

to be continued

HP Virtual Agent, you're about as useless as the fucking hardware that I'm troubleshooting. What part of fucking "Arch Linux" do you not understand?! Not everyone runs your fucking assumed OS choices - WanBLowS 7, 8 or 10. What's more, the hardware that I'm troubleshooting doesn't even support those bloody operating systems.

Long live HP and its random freezes due to poor thermal management. And long live Intel's fucking wireless drivers, that for no good reason disconnect after half an hour and require me to restart NetworkManager to (hopefully) get shit connected again. And long live those useless fucking "virtual assistants"!!!

I wrote an answer, in my exam, about the precedence of operators.

Took a random example: "3+4*6", and explained that "*" has higher precedence, so "4*6" would be executed first and so on.

Long story short, this was the last line in my answer:

"The answer is 27, not 42."

Dev: Why did you suddenly start adding random whitespace to the end of all of the files in your PRs?

Manager: IT’S NOT RANDOM!

Dev: ?

Manager: That’s a way I came up with for tracking my contributions. Every time I edit a file I add a line of whitespace at the bottom so it’s clear to everyone how much and how often I’ve contributed to the team. Although I haven’t been doing it this entire time so I had to make up for this by adding more to files that I *know* I’ve touched a bunch before. Just think! Especially with how big my PRs are compared to everyone else the tally of my contributions is going to get huge!

Dev: …

Client: Extend string size for that URL field. I have to input a really large URL in there.

Me: Please show me the URL first.

Client: Here it is //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783?i=jfjfjfjjfjfjhf&shit=jfjfjkfkfkgjfjjhh74747jdjh&you=kfjfjbhgg779hdhhd&not=jfjhdh63737#fuckingKiddingMe

Me: You can leave the whole part after the question mark. Insert it like //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783

Client: Ok, great. Thanks.

#####

Me later checking the data inserted:

//randomurl.com/random-route

I hate humans.

Crazy how git got its name:

The name "git" was given by Linus Torvalds when he wrote the very first version. He described the tool as "the stupid content tracker" and the name as (depending on your mood):

- random three-letter combination that is pronounceable, and not actually used by any common UNIX command. The fact that it is a mispronunciation of "get" may or may not be relevant.

- stupid. contemptible and despicable. simple. Take your pick from the dictionary of slang.

- "global information tracker": you're in a good mood, and it actually works for you. Angels sing, and a light suddenly fills the room.

- "goddamn idiotic truckload of sh*t": when it breaks

~ from github git

I actually love Mr. Robot because at least they are trying to show the actual tools plus the codes that can be used to hack, not some kind of random console outputs that doesn't even make sense in the most of the tv series/ movies

Random fact #0

Back in the days of SEGA Saturn, SEGA was really picky in terms of the game stability. All the games that we're about to be released had to pass a series of tests, like for instance they had to run for almost a week without any crash non stop on a real hardware, or withstand cartridge tilting. If it failed, SEGA wouldn't license it and developer had to fix the bugs and re-send it again.

To fool SEGA testers, game devs we're adding exception screens with the fake "hidden content". Like in Sonic 3D Blast, it presented a screen in the image below and then the level select screen.

So yeah, it's not a bug - it's a feature

"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."

-- "OK"

"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."

-- "Why? What's the issue?"

"The logic is complex. We should not break it."

-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."

There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.

If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.

If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.

If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.

Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?

User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.

Not comparing professions just a random thought.

Whenever I feel bad, I go and help random people with their code.

I also randomly offer to help teach people Java so that they can learn best practice and perhaps not make the same small mistakes.

Such is life. My method of coping with sadness.

Please tell me I'm not the only lazy bastard that spends all week dreaming of the weekend to finally work on some personal projects and when it finally arrives as soon as I launch the IDE my motivation goes down to -100 and I spend the rest of the day watching random videos on YouTube as always dreaming of the next weekend to finish that awesome idea I had 5 years ago...

It would be really FUCKING great if NodeJS or mysql could give me a FUCKING shout or ERROR MESSAGE when one of the parameters I'm giving is not the RIGHT FUCKING DATA TYPE INSTEAD OF THROWING A RANDOM ERROR THAT DOESN'T INDICATE A WRONG MOTHERFUCKING DATA TYPE. Five FUCKING hours of debugging later.

Dear, Random guy that I wrote you an answer on StackOverflow.

I spent 15 minutes GOOGLING the issue for you because you either were fucking lazy or don't know how to use Google.

I wrote an answer for you on your shitty question with -2 rep explaining how to solve the issue and you just replied thanks and didn't even bother to either upvote or accept my answer. Not only did I solve your question I did it to bloody help you and here you are with your attitude not accepting my answer, and replying with thanks that i feel like you didn't care for me writing your answer. You can bloody hell burn in hell. I hope there is a special place for you and people like you that magically go missing and never come back

Two days ago I had a particularly retarded conversation with my father.

Father: Have you heard of [insert some language that will probably die in half a year]?

Me: Never heard of it.

Father: I talked with a friend yesterday and he said people pay millions for it.

Me: And?

Father: You have to learn it.

Me: *At this point trying not to facepalm* I don't think that's a good idea.

Father: Why?

Me: *begins explaining how the industry changes quickly, underused languages die out or how there simply aren't many materials on them*

My father then started shouting at me, saying that I don't listen to him and that his friend (who does stock trading for living) knows what's trending right now. Couple that with the fact that I was sick in bed when this random event happened, it led to me wanting to, ever so slightly, fucking kill myself.

today i was very sleep deprived and i had an anxiety episode at work. that was the first time my coworkers saw me like that. they took me to a cafe, got me a pastry and kept chatting about random stuff while i calmed down. i felt vulnerable and ashamed for not keeping it together, but it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me.

When you start a new job as a Senior Developer, and start asking questions about the code, and you have these collections of conversations with other front-end people:

Exhibit 1:
Me: Ahh so I see the filtering and pagination is all done with Javascript in the front end...

Random dev: No, it's done with Angular.

Exhibit 2:
Me: I think we should add frontend pagination to this page. There will be too many elements on it if you're a customer with 2000 servers.

Random dev: Don't bother, there's no pagination in the API call... So that will not gain any performance.

Me: But it wouldn't take long to implement and it would improve the user experience, why would you want to show ALL the elements, when you have an option not to... Also, it WILL be a major performance hit, especially on mobile.

Random dev: People will use search anyway.

😥🔪

Also, there are no coding standards, every file looks different, and my opinion is being disregarded in everything, and I thought my last job was bad...

Seriously how are some people hired as front-enders?

Since I just took this job, I feel obligated to stay a couple of months... But hey, don't cry for me, I might have more rants for you. 😂

Sorry for the long rant, here's cake: 🍰

During a random meeting for a project:

PM: We'll need you to learn Go for this project. It says you know python in your job skills, so it should be easy.
Me: Uh, hiiii. I'm in security, not development. Can't help you, I really shouldn't even be here.
PM: I think Go has security built-in, does that help?
Me: ... I don't know, you need a developer.
PM: Do you know any Go people?
Me: I think that's something you should know.
- Silence enters the room -
PM: Yes perhaps, but you don't know anyone?

Fucking wat?

Warning: JPEG artefacts incoming!

Dear Google,
you know exactly which languages I speak. So please explain to me why you still feel the need to push some random video titles and descriptions through Google Translate, making them look unprofessional and confusing me because I know that I watched that video already, but now it has a new title? And why is there no option to turn this off? And why do you explicitly state that the language setting does not affect text submitted by users? Even though it does? What the actual fuck?

Also lol even Google isn't perfect at using ecape characters correctly

I'm so sick of all these fat frontend websites.

Transferring dozens of megabytes of mostly unused libraries is not acceptable.

A browser tab crunching up CPU time because everything must be "beautifully animated" (🤢) and processed without involving page reloads/backend is not acceptable.

A response time of over a second is not acceptable.

Cryptic error messages and random popups asking you to reload your page, not acceptable.

Sticky elements/popups breaking access on small screens is not acceptable.

Running hundreds of ajax calls per minute as heartbeats/probes
and crashing the page when the internet has a hiccup, not acceptable.

Fuck Asana, Fuck Twitch, Fuck LinkedIn, Fuck Youtube, Fuck the dozens of other SPAs which unload their truckload of diarrhea into a tab, yet fail to load crucial functionality about half of the time.

Fuck any page that breaks when you block Facebook, Doubleclick, Twitter or Google Analytics. To hell with websites depending on cookies or javascript loaders to display anything.

I want webpages to be interactive informational documents again.

Fuck off with your apps.

If you want to make an app, learn to use a real language, and get the fuck out of my browser.

Can we, please, put some substance into our rants? Over the course of the last weeks the amount of rants of the type "%NAME% %SWEARWORDS%" has increased tremendously. You want tell everyone that (for example) Windows can go fuck itself? Great. But why? What is the story behind you're enragement?

Please make this place more fun to browse by sharing stories. Not just a random amount of names and swearwords.

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

Life of Boris, a youtube chanel of a slav guy that makes random stuff (and some delicious russian recipes 😋) uploaded this video few hours ago.

I watched it, and I didn’t expect the video to be an actual Python tutorial 😂 I loved it!

What do you think?

P.D. I hope this is not necessary, but I remind you that Life of Boris is not a programming channel, please don’t be too strict, it’s just entretainment

What a rewarding weekend!

Not once did I touch my laptop :)

Sorry, that was meant for RANDOM.. My bad

Just heard at the coffee machine: "Well, does that mean I'm not allowed to use Trump's quotes to seed the random numbers generator?"

So ehm, tl;dr: KEEP DAILY BACKUPS. EVEN IF SOMEONE SAYS NOT TO.

7:48
Manager: Hey Tom, is the server down?
Me: Nah, should be ok, I just did some maintenance this sunday.
Manager: But I can't get [some work data from SQL server]
*Nervous giggle*

9:14: Some random off-site cunt they hired didn't read the notes that said "DO NOT REMOVE DATABASE [xyz]"
9:20-ish: Web don't even have the DB. And you said that we'll figure out what to do with backups later
*Suddenly manager starts to panic*
11:47: Found backup of the entire server on and old server that we had for spare parts, still running tho.
12:something: Everything back up and working.

Really glad I kept the old server running and doing daily backups. Saved our ass for the second time. And finally, new off-site backup is planned this week.

u/bob
"hey can someone help me assign 10 to a variable in rust"

u/1337rustpro
"Well first of all little shithead that is not rust-like we dont do that in rust here is how godfather mozilla intended it first you create a register in your ram then you download these 9 packages that are not in std for some reason then you box your integer 78 times then you sacrifice a goat that the rust compiler doesnt give you random advice that doesnt work then you pee on your motherboard and commit 53 times to open source repos on github bitbucket and svn then you will maybe probably have 7 assigned to your variable"

u/bob
"Oh wow rust sure is overly complicated"

u/bob
<User banned>

Oh yes, I very much like you, Mr. 1337-DevPro-Ultra-Haxxor. Thank you for using a boilerplate from github, that is bloated like some random female pr0nstar after an orgy. Oh and it is also very funky of you, that the setup scripts and tasks only work on Apple OSX, because using a simple gulpfile with 3 npm dependencies and 5 lines of code would not be trendy enough.

Some JS "devs" should be punished by drowning in their own feces aka a mix of bower, yarn, npm, brew and the crusty stuff that is left behind after running it.

Why is there so much hate against QA in general??

I read tons of rants about how bad testers are... and as a dev who does a lot of QA work, IT SUCKS!

We (devs) have to accept that are work needs to be tested! Otherwise we want be successful with our products.

BUT the testers need to know the development business! They should be trained at the same level as the devs are.

BECAUSE if the mug on my desk is smarter than the tester it is not going to work!
If the tester has full access to all the technologies, environments and tools (and are capable of using it) he has the ability to HELP!

I THINK that testing should be more than just follow predefined steps and let a random tool generate a bugreport.

I am sure that some of you are lucky enough to work with highly skilled testers so please let them help

Breakdown of a casual work day:

50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?

Definitly !rant; btw long post ahead

Soooo not so long ago i joined this community by chance just cuz i installed some app randomly found on google store and what can i say. Best decision ever!

I can say i never met such an interesting and diverse communitiy ever and i kin of ground fond of it (i usually dont get too attached to peoples).

After a while i felt the urge to get myself involved into some disscusion at some random post and i did it. But it felt empty as my image was just a plain green bubble of anonymity. But yeh, i am cool with it, i will customize it after some ++es. No problem!

I got incremented for a while and i got to make a simple generic avatar. I felt again a urge, but this time to customize even more. Sadly, anything cool needs approval by the people. Soo i kind of let it go as i am not really the kind to find myself talking in other businesses and i moved over.

Until i saw it! Not the tiger, not the bird but the dog! Annnd i wanted it so i made a joke that i am a wizard with an invisible dog. What can go wrong, right? Well the thing is.. it did not go wrong, as expected, but it went great, kinda unexpected.

How? Well, some random stranger felt me and gave me a hunble chance to get closer to my dreamy real dog. And so it begin, my crusade to get that damn dog!

But what i have realised fast is .. this is not facebook! Nor Instagram! People doesnot upvote attention whoreing or such lowly acts, but they are actually prone to support people who just.. get involved.

And so i did. I got involved. I actually got involved in a community! For a awkwardly introvert person that's something, but maybe more than few of you people can relate to this.

And today i finally reached that goal! I have a real doggo! Well, real as in not invisible, not as in a great responsability, but now i have both. But this was not such a big deal. The big deal is that i found people whos interests are alike to mine and are prone to help, support and befriend others. I must say, thanks to all! Wonderful time, and while i am not here for a long time, i will surely be!

Cheers and dev on!

#rant

Instead of receiving a motivation in 2018, my boss decided to go anti mainstream and started with demotivation speech.

He started with how good we were last year even when he wasn't around. Well done team! But after that, it went downhill.

We were asked to work even harder, we got new policy (no unpaid leave, no paid overtime, minimum 40 hours working, etc) which some of them make sense and some don't, a specifically set break time (apparently to shut down smokers for smoking at random times), and warning for not being punctual.

And pay rise only after end of financial year.

To make it worse, we are not allowed to take naps or watch youtube on our desk on our breaks.

I seriously wonder what happened during his Christmas NY break. I'm not an entrepreneur so I have no idea if that is a right way to run a company or if Australia government just created new law. But surely I know this is when I say "New year, new company"

For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.

Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!

Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."

Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 1

OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!

*I* take care of my food in the department fridge, *NOT* you!

And start to fucking realize:
IT IS CALLED: "Best Before End"
and ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT: "Guaranteed To Be Deadly From"

Next time you throw away my perfectly fine food, I'll dig into the reflog, throw a dice and throw away 3 random commits of yours claiming that THEY EXPIRED!
YOU ARSE!

Hmmm there are several

Senior dev would leave for weeks(he was company co owner) and would blame shit not being done on me even though he gave me no access to his codebase. Shit back fired right in his face.

Senior dev called me an idiot(different company) for stating that I learned about MVC from Rails. I have no clue what triggered that reaction, but the way he said it really ticked me off. It was on a remote position, left soon, the dude was s cunt.

Next goes for my office: we yell random shit all the time, from racist to sexist to all around disturbing because we are constantly unsupervised.

Head of department knows:P he laughs with us.

Google can you fucking not just kill off random projects that still have a very active userbase!!!
I know you want to merge the play music streaming with youtube music. But that is no reason to kill off the default music player on Android. Cause, y'know, A FUCKTONNE OF PPL STILL USE OFFLINE MUSIC!!!!
And to add more insult to this, Play Music is a default app on pretty much all Android phones. This means it cannot be uninstalled at all. (Unless you root) So thanks for the waste of space!!!

It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.

Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!

Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.

Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.

How is this hard?

Not dev but worth ranting.

It’s important to know that I am a wheelchair driver.

It was Saturday evening and I was waiting for my friends.
All of the sudden a random woman approached me. Putted her hand on my shoulder and says:

In your next life you will be Running around!
Jesus holds his promises!

I was to confused to say anything... do you guys have a good idea on how to react?
I have to deal with similar stuff quiet often!

ITS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!

WHAT THE FUCK GIVES EVERYONE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME STUFF LIKE THAT WITHOUT KNOWING JACKSHIT ABOUT MY LIFE?

I don’t think I need nor deserve their pity!

>Someone opens issue
>Am in school
> Opens Git(Nyan)Hub
>Sees Issue
>"yOuR pRoJeCt hAs a CopYrIghTeD nAmE"
>does not seem to be the case, we're a OSS project and the fact you can't copyright names but trademark them

>Me: "When there's a legal issue, open it up on email than on a issue, and your shit is invalid as well, fuck you."

> Closes and Locks issue

Welp, that's a wasted 2 minutes right there homes

Keep in mind I even asked a lawyers' statement from the company that this concerns them. Fucking FUD tactics again by some random

Let's add the fact there was NO DMCA from the mentioned plaintiff. Wow. just fucking wow dude.

"Its not cloud, its just some one elses computer.."

Holy shit Sherlock dont you say. And did you know that you arent lets say Tom, but just some other human. Or you know what? Did you know that its not a diamonds your are browsing, but just a fucking pile of Carbon?

Goddamn that has to be the most annoying quote IT industry has ever made and everytime I hear someone say that, I just feel like they are shitting in their mouths.

Its just a name, common word for fucks sake, just like there are macs, which are just computers, believe it or not..
Just get over it please...

PS. If I ever hear you telling that quote to random person looking like messiah, I swear I will beat your head untill it comes out of your ass.

Have a blessed day.

So I just read about Tim Sneath leaving MS to join Google, and now I hate my life :)
We have those tools for cross platform apps
1. Xamarin
2. React Native
3. Flutter (dart)
4. Ionic
5. ??? (am I still missing something?)

FOR FUCK SAKE not only I had to learn three programming languages to be able to do mobile apps now I need to learn JS shit for mobile development cuz obviously this is the "trend" of the fucked up future and I'm sure people will keep on coming up with shitty frameworks and some random fucked up customer will request to use that shitty framework ...

Sorry had to get it out of my system :)

Amazon: you're logged into 53 devices.

Me: ooooh Kay, since when do I have that many devices. let's sign out of em all and change the password for some piece of mind.

Spongebob: * a few hours past *

Spam email: someone in the US has logged into your account - click here to verify through some random URL that doesn't even contain "Amazon" in it 🥳

-

I suddenly have that feeling Amazon sells you're account setting changes and not just your personal details.

I bumped into my PC early this morning, and it took me 12 hours to realize that 3 out of 4 RAM sticks were chilling on top of my graphics card... together with the CPU cooler.

I'm not sure whether I should be amazed that it kept running (with a few random reboots) with just a crusty chunk of thermal paste as a cooling block, or worried about how fried my hardware is now.

Oh null, how I detest you.

select birthdate, isnull(birthdate) from Users;
>> [null, 0]

Maybe I wrongfully accuse the abstract concept, and should rather loathe the engineers who can't wrap their heads around null despite their heads being a skull literally wrapping fucking nothingness.

Oracle engineers:
"Wait that's invalid input. What do we do?"
"Default the date to 0000-00-00?"
"That kind of looks like a null..."
"Hmm but it isn't *really* a full-on, butt-clenching, hardcore, intrinsic, I-can-taste-it-in-the-air null"
"Yeah not really feeling it either. It's not giving me the typical null-goosebumps."
"Oh, I know! Let's make it a pretend-null, where the actual type totally depends on the layer of the application!"
"Yeah developers love ambiguous random conversions!"

What is with the +1 chasing in here? Votes should be given for good rants and comments, not to climb the count-ladder if that somehow would make you elite community member. Posting a picture you found elsewhere just to earn free stickers or a stress ball, and pollute the incentive the swag were meant for originally.

Stop mass +1'ing some random guys every comment, and earn the votes by contributing with stories, lessons learned, proper rants and supportive comments.

Spammer just called me saying my windows computer was hacked and that I needed his assistance, I agreed and let him download free malware remover tool and other random shit, apparently the terminal commands were not working so he asked what version of Windows I was on, I said XP, and he continued and gave up on the terminal. tried to ruin whatever malware he put on the thing, finally he went to find what version I was running, and found out I was on Linux.

!dev

Oh my fucking god spotify is SOOOOO trash for free users!!!
I don't mind ads, I don't mind not being able to download.

BUT, it won't let me freaking repeat a single song!
AND, it automatically adds random music to my playlist while listening to it!!!!!!!

Apparently, it has a "feature" (cough limitation cough) that if you are a free user, your playlist must contain at least 15 songs or they will randomly add songs WHILE you are listening to your bloody playlist!!!!

I was so hyped about spotify finally being in India, now I am more disappointed than it not being at all 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Edit: This is about spotify android, the desktop (mac for me) version works just fine 😑😑🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

While writing a raytracing engine for my university project (a fairly long and complex program in C++), there was a subtle bug that, under very specific conditions, the ray energy calculation would return 0 or NaN, and the corresponding pixel would be slightly dimmer than it should be.

Now you might think that this is a trifling problem, but when it happened to random pixels across the screen at random times it would manifest as noise, and as you might know, people who render stuff Absolutely. Hate. Noise. It wouldn't do. Not acceptable.

So I worked at that thing for three whole days and finally located the bug, a tiny gotcha-type thing in a numerical routine in one corner of the module that handled multiple importance sampling (basically, mixing different sampling strategies).

Frustrating, exhausting, and easily the most gruelling bug hunt I've ever done. Utterly worth it when I fixed it. And what's even better, I found and squashed two other bugs I hadn't even noticed, lol

So this one time me and my teammates had just started working on react (please note that we all were backend developers and no one has the basic understanding of javascript) and things were looking quite exciting..

But towards the end of the deadline we were sitting and refactoring each others code since we had not decided on the coding standards and practises and random code had been written left right and center.. It once happened that the same piece of code was refactored multiple times by only 2 people..

And it is obvious that we couldnt make it to the deadline and that code is sitting there like a mixture of weird things..

Why I hate internet media, because it's full of articles such as:
9 tips to make you lose weight faster
13 ideas on how to improve your sex life
8 ways to make you happy when you are sad
47 funny images that make you laugh
8482929 articles that use a pointless number as a headline starter

I admit that these articles are way more tempting to click than if they did not use that number. On the other hand, the number is just random, it only describes the extent of the article. I so hate it.

Mom: what is it you do exactly?

Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.

Mom: What is a bug?

Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.

Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.

Some random coworker has been asked to setup tests for the framework written in Java and the GUI is a web app that comes with the framework.

Since he doesn't know any language we work in, he decided he would do it in Python. When I asked him why introduce Python and he replied with "it doesnt matter which language it is because it is going to run on selenium"

I told him to either use Java or Javascript for selenium because when he leaves we should be able to maintain the tests and not first figure out what the hell you wrote in Python

He didnt understand and is going to go with Python anyway

When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:

They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
They: huh?
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?

😶😶😶

So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...

What the hell? What kind of error is this?

NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;

I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.

If you encounter this, restart Windows.

Put random text in window.alert() where ever I got error in JavaScript code. Random text like 1) If you see this, you are fucked; 2) error 001; 3)why today; 4) the code is breaking here etc.

And never removed them. They are the running in production till now. I am just thankful to the gods that the code Nevers break and the user does not get browser alert and also the fact that I don't work there anymore.

Seriously, Ubuntu can go burn in hell far as I care.

I've spent the better part of my morning attempting to set it up to run with the correct Nvidia drivers, Cuda and various other packages I need for my ML-Thesis.

After countless random freezes, updates,. Downgrades and god-knows-what, I'm going back to Windows 10 (yes, you read that right). It's not perfect but at least I don't have to battle with my laptop to get it running. The only thing which REALLY bothers me about it is the lack of GPU pass-through, meaning running local docker containers rely solely on the CPU. In itself not a huge issue if only I didn't NEED THE GOD DAMN GPU FOR THE TRAINING

!dev && rant

What's people's problem with Wikipedia.

Earlier this week I told my cleaning lady about how Black Friday was so pointless this year, and apparently it's the first thing she heard about Black Friday (she's in her late 30's and a mother of 2, go figure). Not only that but she believed that it occurred every end of the month because someone else told her so. She said it would make sense because it's close to everyone's payday.

So I go and look up some information about Black Friday for her. All the DDG results somehow shit or cluttered by marketing wank.. your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, appended Wikipedia to get some reasonably good information quick. And that looked for all the world like that was the case. Apparently it's got to do with American Thanksgiving.. who knew?

She still didn't believe it. "But that's Wikipedia..." So she looked it up on her own phone on some random local site.. it confirmed that indeed it occurs once a year. Well, confirmed to the extent that there was "2017", "2018" and "2019" on the page... Yeah.

Finally she believed it. At least she didn't double down on it anymore. But seriously.. you're gonna take the words of one random person over a medium that's constantly being improved under the many eyes principle?

"People can edit Wikipedia so therefore it's bad"

I really don't get people...

Three word story:

I saw the infinity rant @linuxer4fun created and got inspired--it's about time we write one of those somewhat nasty, utterly random, amazingly sophisticated three word stories (spanning unto eternity!)

This means I start by writing three words, somebody else responds to that with three words, keeping within the context of the previous one, with the ultimate goal of writing an epic tale together (of dragons and stuff!)

You're not allowed to write a comment if the previous comment is yours:

if (comment.previous ().owner == you)
return false;

Computer Science student here, and it looks like my group partners have no idea what keeping classes short and straight to the point means.

The project is in C++, and I'm trying to understand this mess that they made, when they have a class called "Manager" that basically did EVERYTHING, whose header file has only the declarations of functions. 50+ functions. Only half of then documented, and most of them with apparently random names. The file has more than 200 lines of reading.

I've never worked with so much Spaghetti in my life yet.

Worst part: I spent time and effort organising some other classes, breaking down methods, untangling code and all that tedious stuff. But one week before delivery, they decide to delete all of my work, because they "didn't understand it" and didn't even think of asking me to explain the changes.
And if that wasn't enough, they refused to give me some percentage of the grade due to that code not being in the delivery.

I am so freaking done with those guys -_-

!rant
print("Hello World!")

Erm..... Here goes nothing.
Hello everyone, I'm [REDACTED] from [REDACTED] in the SEA region. I'm a highschool student, 17, with a hobby of programming in Python 3 as a self-taught trial-and-error script kiddy, mostly small scripts from random "Yea I should do that, how long will it take?! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"-moments. I found DevRant while talking with people in a few programming Discord servers. Hope this is enough for a "Hello World!" post....and yea, welcome me to DevRant *pop confetti and hope not forced to clean up later*

So this just happened. I was working on a project and I just found a weird directory named '~' in there. I am on Linux so I simply did an "rm -rf ~" :/

It was too late when I realized it deleted all my files in my home directory. All my projects and configuration files. The sad part was it did not delete that shitty random directory because permission denied. Thank God I got into the habit of making weekly backups of my system and Thank God I use git.

Microsoft Teams can burn.

Who the fuck thought it would be an excellent workflow, when you want to COLLABORATE IN TEAMS between users in different domains, that each sorry bastard needs to manually log in to a second Teams tenant and loose all the context from their main Teams tenant !?

On random occasions the fucking authentication token expires. I send messages to my team mate in another domain. Three days later I am pissed off because they don't answer. It turns out their authentication token has expired so when they are on their main tenant they don't get any notifications before they manually log in to our tenant as a guest. HOW FUCKING GREAT IS THAT AS A NOTIFICATION SYSTEM ??!

Would it be that fucking difficult to maintain a notification bar with all tenants and note with an exclamation mark or something REALLY FUCKING SIMPLE to hint about an expired token ? It's not like this is magic, Slack does it already.

FUCK !

Fuck you BT, charge me £80 for phone and internet, then only give me 50% of your advertised speeds that cuts out at random points then when I complain tell me you'll look into it but if you find any issues within my property I have to pay for the fixing of all issues with my line inside and outside the property not to mention the over £100 call out fucking cost!!! Plus you were fucking charging me £6.99 a month for BT fucking Sport that I don't watch and that I was told on 3 occasions was fucking free for the last 3 years!!! Again I will reiterate FUCK YOU BRITISH TELECOMS

When someone tell u that your code is not OO enough, then you start creating random classes.

TL;DR - Girlfriend wanted to learn coding, I might have scared her off.

Today, my girlfriend said she wants to learn coding.
Me: why?
She: well, all these data science lectures are recommending Python and R.
Me: Ok. But, are you interested in coding?
She: No, but I think I have to learn.
Me: Hmm.. coding requires a clear thought process, and we should tell the computer exactly what needs to be done.
She: I think I can do that.
Me: Okay... then tell the computer to think and give a random number between 1 to 10.
She: I will use that randint function. (She has basic knowledge in C)
Me: Nope. You write your own logic to make the computer think.
She: What do you mean?
Me: If I were you... Since it is just a single digit number.. I would capture the current time and would send the last digit of milliseconds @current time.
She: Oh yeah, that's cool. Understood! I will try...
" " "
We both work in same office.. so, we meet up for lunch

" " "

I didn't ask about it, but she started,
She: Hmm, I thought about it, but I was not able to think of any solution. May be its not my cup of tea.

I felt bad for scaring her off... :(

Anyway, what are some other simple methods to generate random numbers like OTPs. I am interested in simple logics, which you have thought of..not the Genius algorithms we have in predefined libraries.

Coming back here after years to rant about... myself.
TLDR: I fucked up and now have to call a thousand people as a dev, I'm not even getting paid for it and they all get crazy about a random ID that got assigned to them, so now I want to throw away all my electronics and become a skilift operator.

Stupid me deployed a project shortly before we have the largest amount of orders in the year. (Like 90% of yearly orders in a couple minutes cause they are sold out fast and people wait to order first)

I got this horrible legacy "plain self written framework php" project which I tried to upgrade state of the art.
There was one piece missing to upgrade everything and nicely deploy it to some fresh new servers which can handle the high load which peaks at the time orders open.

So I did it the day before orders open and... everything worked well! Nothing crashed.
I wrote my client to wait a little before he confirms the orders, since after confirmation each of the people who ordered will receive an email where they can choose a unique number which they'll receive as a sticker with the order.

Since it's an event my client is promoting, people will meet each other wearing those unique stickers and being able to identify each other online and in person with this number.

Suddenly my clients call me that "customers are complaining about that there is something wrong"
Turned out he confirmed all orders straight away and that part of the application which makes the number unique was broken on the update.
So everyone could chose any number (also taken ones) as his "unique" number.

In my panic, I told my client "It's my mistake, I'll deal with it of course and call the affected people in my free time, since it's my mistake you don't have to pay for it". (it's my largest client by far, am a freelancer)
Realizing when people can chose any number it'll not be a few ones who have the same, it's like almost everyone did chose "69", "1", "420", "88 (a scary amount of people)",... (with 69 being the number being chosen by most people btw, even more then "1")

So now I have to call about a thousand people telling them a new random ID will be assigned to them. I thought of course about mailing them, wrote a script that deals with the issue automatically, and FUCKED IT UP TOO so everyone is confused and the only way to deal with it is by a call basically.
And while I'm sitting here now for 2 days straight calling people in my free time about their random ID will have to change, I realized that some people are quite crazy about random ID's.
I'm talking about yelling and threatening because "is it too much to ask for a working website when ordering this expensive product".

I hate my life right now and am getting quite serious about throwing all my electronic devices away and become a skilift operator instead. Fuck the higher pay, it's not worth the shit, I wanna have only responsibility about one button to press while watching people fall on their face.

10 PM (after a very busy working day), CTO calls me and tells me: "We decided to hand in the new version to [random client] one week earlier, so they can test it."
Me: "I don't think is a good idea, the app is still unstable, we started working in it yesterday, it *will* crash"
CTO: "Don't you worry, at least they know we are working on it"
20 minutes later
CTO: "WTF why did you make my app crash?! I can't send this to a client!"

Told you. That is why that code is on develop and not on master.

Today a tester asked me to make a modal smaller. I read the code and saw modal size was explicitly set to "large". So I was about to set its size to default but I asked myself "what if I enter a random string there?" and I set it to "not-so-big". UI framework handled it well and actually set its size to default. I'm keeping the code that way for future laughters.

Nightmare IRL:

Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.

You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.

Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.

Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.

PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"

FML

!rant

Monday morning panic...the dreaded question.

Random office colleague: "Do anything fun over the weekend?"

Me internally: Fuck...what did I do? Did I do anything at all? I mowed the yard...played video games...spent 3 hours looking at some random open source package I gave up trying to compile. All that is boring though. Was there nothing exciting I can brag about? Fuck...oh wait. I went to a huge theme park Saturday. Yeah that's cool enough to mention!

Me: "No not really"

You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.

You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.

Random 503 error, and you aren't​ answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.

And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.

I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.

I'm out...

WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!

What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters

Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....

I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\

My company employed a new back-end guy from a random country in Africa (our first non-european). After firing the internal IT guy a year ago, they have now noticed that he has fully protected our company from login attempts outside of europe. The replacement has no idea how to revert it and honestly is not an system administrator.

Our DevOps guy knows how to solve it but nobody asked him and he cannot be arsed.

Everyone talks about crappy categories of user on Stackoverflow - help vampires, rep whores, etc. - but the category of "people who don't care about the stupid mind games, politics or internet points and just want to help others" is so small people apparently don't even think it can exist.

I mean sheesh, I answer on there in my free time to just lend a hand to people, usually in a couple of niche tags that have very little info elsewhere, even for beginners. Of course there's questions that are beyond salvaging and just random homework dumps, but the majority are from genuinely confused users who simply don't know the correct terms to search for.

A question is not inherently evil just because its asker has misunderstood a key concept.

I'm not even asking you to help the poor sods, I'm just asking you to allow me to help without calling me a rep whore or a moron who'd be better talking to bots on reddit 🙄

Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!

I'll be honest, I've never understood why people say that numbers generated by a computer are pseudorandom and not random.
I know a lot of algorithms for number generation, and I implemented mine, based on time of invokation expressed in nanoseconds, taking digits, manipulating and transforming them. Then I analyzed the probability distribution and it's absolutely flat. So, if you know the Touring test, we can use a modified version of it. If I give you a sequence of random numbers generated by a computer and I give you a sequence of random numbers invented by a person, and you can't notice the difference, so the test is passed.
What's wrong on it?

So I just got off of a teams call which I suffered the classic BSOD part way through, a colleague tells me that the entire time I was disconnected waiting for my laptop to restart, my team's account was broadcasting a super loud jackhammer style racket to everyone else in the call 🤦🏼‍♂️ and of course nobody knew how to mute me so they sat in 3 minutes of what can only be described as noise 😂😂

I'm not sure whether to feel embarrassed to have caused the issue or to be annoyed that the software does something so random while I'm not even in the call or with a powered on laptop 🙈

[random article] - interesting TITLE.

Click.
checks scroll bar - not much
Quick read.

read
read
read..

hmmm

read
read
read

hmm seems forever that i'm reading.
something's not right

check
check
chek m**F8d8fd , it loading a freaking 3000 words article with ajax.

Witch hunting:

I just spent the last 90 trying to fix a visual bug with the UI

I made a functional component to render pretty forms with minimal information in React
Turns out some random ass fields were not rendering with their respective lower borders

Refactored the shit out of the components
Actually got them to follow a strict styling

Two cups of coffee later it clicked: everything was perfectly functional, I just have a shitty small monitor and tried zooming in
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, IT'S THE FUCKING BORDER I WAS LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG!

Don't be like me: check les differents view ports

that moment when you were still new to git commands and just typed in random commands while thinking of a stupid dog meme saying I have no idea what im doing then accidentally pushing something in prod and had no idea what to do cause the lead dev was not around... aahhh those were the days

I don't wanna hear anyone dismissing college education, specially from people that can't do asymptotic analysis and have no clue what a pointer is. It's not fine. What do you think people spend 4+ years studying for? For this shit? There's a reason why a diploma has a weight, it's not just decoration.

I get it that the american educational system is fucked up and you guys have to pay a shit ton of money for it, but you can't just pretend it's worth nothing.

How diminishing it is to hear people shit on a life long struggle to get where i am today. I had to study a ton to get into college, and I'm still pouring my blood and mental health into my studies, only for some random to say that a youtube tutorial is worth the same.

!rant

So me and my co-worker are allways joking about how many absourd JS-Libaries are out there. We say random words with "JS" at the end.

We are currently experiencing, that this on going joke is not a fucking joke. It's true!

(Example below, with Quack/DuckJS)

Random thought of the day. I'm sure I've been told the "common wisdom" is that you can take a job with a lower salary and enjoy a better work-life balance, or go gung-ho for the inner city jobs and earn way more but sacrifice your quality of life.

Anyone else found the complete opposite? The higher the salary I've had over my career, generally the *better* the working environment and the more the employer seems to care for, and value its employees. Not universally true I'm sure, and perhaps I'm just lucky about where I pick, but I've certainly had way more "high stress" situations in some of my lower paid, rather than higher paid roles.

Hmm. So have you ever argued in a job interview? Like really standing your ground? In a technical interview?

Today I had a live coding session with a company I'm interested in. The developer was giving me tasks to evolve the feature on and on.

Everything was TDD. Splendid!

However at one point I had to test if the outcome of the method call is random. What I did is basically:
```
Provider<String> provider = new SomeProvider("aaa", "bbb", "ccc", "ddd", "eee", "fff")

for(int i=0; i<100; i++) {
String str = provider.get();
map.put(str, incrementCount(str));
}
Set<Integer> occurences = new HashSet(map.values());
occurences.removeIf(o -> o.equals(occurences.get(0)));
assertFalse(occurences.empty());
```
and I called it good enough, since I cannot verify true randomness.
But the dev argued that this is not enough and I must verify whether the output is truly random or not, and the output (considering the provider only has a finite set of values to return) occurences are almost equal (i.e. the deviation from median is the median itself).

I argued this is not possible and it beats the core principle of randomness -- non-determinism. Since if you can reliably test whether the sequence is truly random you must have an algorithm which determines what value can or cannot be next in the sequence. Which means determinism. And that the (P)RNG is then flawed. The best you can do is to test whether randomness is "good enough" for your use case.

We were arguing and he eventually said "alright, let's call it a good enough solution, since we're short on time".

I wonder whether this will have adverse effect my evaluation . So have you ever argued with your interviewer? Did it turn out to the better or to the worse?

But more importantly, was I right? :D

Motherfucking stupid windows 10.

Wanted to try out cortana with all features after disabling it via regedit.
So naturally I created a Microsoft account and linked my user to it. Of course I used a random password generator and saved it in a passwort vault.
Then an update happened, I restarted my computer and guess what this stupid piece of SHIT garbage software did?
It prompted me to enter my password. Not the password I had for my local user BUT THE MOTHERFUCKING 15-DIGIT RANDOM PASSWORT GENERATED AND NOT EVEN VIEWED ONCE FUCKING SHIT!!!
Did they even ask if I wanted that? No they fucking didn't. Did they WARN ME? NO. NO THEY FUCKING DIDN'T.

That's the last straw. I'll kick windows down the garbage bin where it belongs and programm my own AI with open source software.

Random story, I was working on a project a few years ago that had a very tight deadline and a lot of code to write. I had been working late in the office most evenings but one night myself and a colleague had stayed later than usual as we got carried away with supporting peripherals​ in the epos.
The cleaner came in on evenings and we had seen her that night, but had not heard anything for a while so when it came time to leave we figured we best lockup the 2 offices.

After making a quick pass through the building we couldn't see her so proceeded to lock up. Fortunately before setting the alarm we spotted her motorbike in the adjacent car park and decided to have another look.

I'm not quite sure why I decided to look in the tiny supply room/closet but fortunately I did as I found the cleaner standing in this tiny room​playing games on her phone 😂

My biggest distraction at coding are my parents.

I still live in there house and it's really comfy.

But whenever I code the always come into my room with something random like "my phone is not working" or "how can I delete this?"

I love my parents and Im glad that I can help but always get off where I was after 😂

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

It is fucking written in rules that SLA would be given post the discussion.

AFTER THE MOTHERFUCKING DISCUSSION.

Bitch can't read a simple English statement.

And in the SLA column, it is clearly mentioned that one must state the DATE. This idiot mentions the entire fucking Quarter.

How fucking dumb you can be to not read the basics mentioned for your own and others ease of functioning.

Indians are illiterate morons. I apologise to the entire world today on behalf of these fragmented cauliflowers.

To whoever this means, I am sorry that you have to deal with these retarded brains.

Also, the task was supposed to be done by others and not the blabbering bitch. She takes up random unwated shit and then cribs to our manager that she is overloaded and Floyd isn't helping.

When I help, she complains that I am overstepping.

Go fuck yourself you mongoose.

Just go to GPT and get me the code today!!!

Like wtf why does every non-tech guy thinks GPT is the solution for each problem.
So, a workmate wanted a fullstack system ready in 2 days and argues that its too easy with GPT. I mean yeah GPT helps, sometimes, on frequent rare occasions. But, that can't be the solution to everything, like ask it to setup the whole backend frontend integration, will it? ask it to manage assets will it? ask it to write complex code, it fails, miserably, okay like me but that's the point. Just because random transformers pop up each week containing some random shitty weights (not always agreed) that can't replace a full stack developer. These 'attention' seeking models are as good as another tool, a bit efficient, but at the end of the day its just a tool, all it does is lessen the typing time but gives more errors too. The average time remains the same. And my non-tech manager can't understand he can't do it himself earlier using GPT. Succkkkkkkssss!

When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.

Got an email today from a random person asking for help on using a thing I have in GitHub. Even though it's not at all a big deal, made me feel so proud :)

On the other hand, every day I work on software responsible for thousands of people a day (not a big deal, but still something that affects thousands per day) and I feel meh about that...

Brains are weird :)

Ok, I am actually losing my mind at this bad excuse of a work place.

This guy, that I had only briefly talked to in email twice before, never met or even had a video chat, opened a ticket like this:

"Hi Alt-Tab,

I hope you enjoyed the end of last week, the weekend, and the beginning of this one! All well here. I ventured to [random place in London] for the first time on Saturday – liked it."

Now. I already can't fucking stand when colleagues that are not at all close start emails with "how was your weekend?" shit because then I have to waste another minute addressing that. But this guy took it to such another level that I literally had to read his email 3 times to believe what I just witnessed.

And of course he then went on and described the issue as folows:

"Just a quick note about the issue I have - could you let me know why the calendars are not syncing?"

Maybe if you fucking spent half of the energy of you writing a polite bullshit "hello" and instead used that to actually describe the issue I could help.

Fuck off.

Random af project idea that will see me burned alive by the internet (because if I do it I intend to put it in dev.to which is full of "that offends me" people):

Generate a classifier that will scan text from different websites and categorize where the person might be from.

Example: "plz send bob and vagene" <--- we all know

"mami que ricas nalgas" <--- Mexican for the most part.

"there, their, they're and similar text" <--- my fellow Americans for the most part....

"cyka blyat" <--- 0.o we know

"pompous statement about the way Americans do shit" <--- European, meaning, from Yurop.

"angry as fuck rant/banter" <-- German

"lol whatever Trump is the best president ever" <--- some moron from the south of the U.S (south much like myself but I am not a Trump supporter nor a republican)

etc etc.

What makes this complex is that I would have to put together my own dataset in the highly likely chance of something like that not existing already for me to use.

Can you imagine the chaos?

It is increasingly difficult to believe that Google CAPTCHAs are not deliberately made unsolvable.

Everyone hates CAPTCHA, that is nothing new. As most people know, CAPTCHA frequently whines "please try again" after the user provides the correct answer. Sometimes it shows "Please select all matching images." when no new images with the named subject exist. However, now Google is taking it to a new level.

After clicking, the pictures take five seconds to fade to white and the new pictures take another five seconds to fade in. And CAPTCHA challenges have an expiry duration of two minutes. This causes CAPTCHAs to expire before it is possible to solve them.

Does Google think I am not a human because I don't have the time to waste whack-a-moling random StreetView pictures?

I have a feeling that Google is laughing at us for wasting efforts solving CAPTCHAs that are not meant to be solved.

I love to program — I discovered that about myself a few years ago. Beforehand, I only KNEW how to program. But then I discovered the power programming gives you to create things, and even help your surroundings. So now, I can surely say, that I love programming. Heck, I am even dating a very talented programmer.

But despite all the pleasure I derive from it, I feel lonely sometimes. True, there are millions of programmers all over the world. I also know I am not the only one who prefers coding over going to the movies, taking a walk, eating or sleeping.

Why do I feel this way?

My loneliness is a gendered loneliness, as there are not many women in my field. For sure, there are women who study computer science in high school or at the university, and some even work as programmers. But they are very, very few!

I often underestimate my abilities and feel intimated for no apparent reason

#random thoughts

"Did you manage to reproduce this issue in-house?"

Yes, off course we managed to reproduce your fucking random reboot issue that happen to two in thousand customers and might happend just after boot of after several hours or days or not at all when you, as you said yourself, were doing nothing. While at it we also turned lead to gold, water to wine and resurected Elvis (although he is a little bit grumpy and mumbles something about brains).

Not planning ahead, just start at some point, adding just a tiny little feature after another, and then wondering why your to do app (just to check out a new framework or language) suddenly comes with Blockchain, a chatbot and a machine learning algorithm that (slowly) learns when the best time to show random cat videos is...

!Rant

I have not slept in 28 hours.

I discovered Quantum computing, pubo and simulators.

I FEEL it can solve my business problem, but it is fucking time consuming to write this code. (In a good way).

I do not need sleep at this point, I need answers!

Anyone with good links to either pubo examples or a useful quantum algorithm, I’ll take it ! (not the random number… I have already run that on a real QPU 9Still no idea how much that run cost in $)!)

Who books meetings on Friday afternoons?
Isn't that against the Geneva convention?

People that comment random subreddits on platforms other than reddit, such as r/whoosh, are the bottom feeders of comedy and are definitely mouth breathers. Probably have a smooth brain too.

That shit's lame asf and not funny at all.

!rant

Need help. Just realized that I have been responding to every interaction I have had lately in a negative way. Not sure what's going on, but I just seem to always respond with a negative response. I consider myself a critical thinker, and a devil's advocate. From a previous comment on this site, to a random facebook post of someone sharing an animal rights post. I usually just ignore them and move on, but I ended up responding with poor intention.

Oh Arch head
Oh Raven head
Oh Linux fanbase
I want to confess. Please here me!
Today my windows FINALLY successfully update. I was happy that when in an accident I'll require to boot in Windows I'll have less fear of random and sudden restart and applying of updates. But oh great men, I fouled this fearlessness to a greater extend. I was just checking the change logs and, this 01:57 hrs, 3 hrs later, I find myself hearing music on groove music, liking the integration of cortana with edge, groove music, settings and just all....

It's not that I'm loving 'it' more than GNU/Linux but my current installation of GNU/Linux has been fucked so hard by me already that it needs nothing but a reinstall... I'd like to spend a few more time with Windows before I go to bed(I'm sitting on my bed already tho) and promise to never see Windows this way ever again.
I promise

Will I be forgiven?

Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.

Waste an hour.

Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head.

Kiki’s Autistic Stories!

Living with synaesthesia is very interesting. To me, drinks, especially homogenous and complex ones like espresso or vine, make sound I can describe. This is a system, this is not random. People are agreeing with me. Colours have taste.

But I fear just one thing. There is a certain colour, especially when it’s a glass of that colour, that “tastes” so fucking bitter sweet that it gives me migraine. When I see it, I have to immediately close my eyes, go away, do something to forget it, otherwise migraine. Somehow, thinking of it is unpleasant, but thinking alone doesn’t induce a migraine.

At a previous job, boss & owner of company would waste hours of my time to show me, at his own desk, every small detail of some random feature he had fallen in love with on some random webpage he found, while saying "I don't want to disrupt your plans or anything, this is just something to keep in the back of your minds, as this would be a really nice thing to have, even tho none of the clients have asked for this and I have asked no one else for a second opinion, and I will most likely ask you to remove this feature in the future because I will finally have realized it wasn't that good an idea anyway."

Ok dipshit, what the fuck are we supposed to do with this information? Every week from this moment on you will ask whether we have found the time to implement this feature, even though you are fully aware that our schedule has no room for random, unplanned features and that we are already not able to meet the unreasonable deadline you pulled out of your ass two weeks into a development process that would end up taking 8+ months.

We are already overworked, we already work hours upon hours of unpaid overtime, and yet you still think it reasonable to pull us away from our work every other fucking day to talk about random extra features you want added, but don't want added to the roadmap because you want no delays... Fuck you, fuck your toxic attitude, fuck your meetings where you spend half an hour complaining about features we are still in the process of developing the backend functionality for (on test servers) not having the right font colour for the text, and fuck your legacy desktop software originally written in COBOL that you now want moved to "the cloud".

I would rather be unemployed and live as a hobo on the streets with a "will code for food" sign than work for you ever again.

FUUCCKKKK!! I need to hit smth. Or rant..

So that flaky ec2 issue.. These ec2s act as a shared environment for multiple apps. Our app is one of them. I have no access to those ec2s at all.

What I have access to is my app and some monitoring. Now the app randomly starts lagging while nearly idling. At the same random times monitoring stops completely and doesn't come back up. This happens to random app instances at random times.

Reached out to infra support, managed to get attention from the big boys [mgmt]. Today we got the fix deployed. I test it out -- problem persists.

I find this behaviour somewhat familiar. Managed to get some server stats from infra folks. Apparently cpu% is high as well as load avg [cpu queue]. Bingo! I know how to fix it!

So I write a long comment w/ all the commands and all the 'if that, do this'. Send it to one of the infra technitians

and I get a reply: 'we will apply cpu usage limitations to fix the issue'

wait... Cpu% limitations will do nothing but highlight the underlying problem...

'no, instances have high cpu utilisation which is causing those lags. We will limit cpu resources and it will be fixed'

oh ffs... Cpu utilization and cpu queue are VERY different things.. I tried explaining that to them like 7-9 times. And all I get is:

'yes, cpu utilization is the problem. We will limit it and solve the problem'

I would surely escalate all of this through higher channels if only I could get my hands on those ec2s and have a proof. But that is not happening and I'm forced to sit back and watch them break things even worse until they are out of options and mark my query as 'wont fix'....

Fuck that's frustrating....

*thinking to myself* so I've read about that new vulnerability 2 days ago that allows one to escape from docker container to the host... What if <...>

So you heard from that awesome tool that apparantly everybody uses.

Go to the web page:
One single continuous page in 90ies style with random blahblah targetting expert users and various edge cases without context. Some lines about arcane build commands in an unfamiliar language.

Not even a single, comprehensive line, what it does, what it is good for, no minimal example or hint even how to run it.

So you write thousands of lines of dense code, but are not able to drop some first lines of plain, understandable english for people just visiting the first time? How hard could it be? Fuck you, srsly.

Today in some onboarding meeting i was laughing my ass off.

We were setting up the development machines that we got from the client to work on via citrix.

You guys probably know, that when you put your npm projects too nested into your filesystem, that packages randomly start not behaving because of too long file names or path names and stuff like that. That seems to be a problem with all OS (to be fair i havent actively looked for a solution, but it happened to me on Windis and Linux, so i'm just assuming here)

but even more so for some packages on Windis, when the project is not running on the same fucking drive letter than where your OS is running on. Like... wtf?

Had two UI5 projects pulled, both of them on D:. The first npm install went through flawlessly, the second one has a number of random errors, me and the other dev didn't know what they were. So what i suggested is to move this project onto C: and try it again. Turns out that was exactly it. Et voila, npm install ran through without any hiccups..

About a year ago a co-scout gave me: an FM radio, a CD cover, tape and some other random bits, and proceded to say.

c-s: Build a metaldetector from this, I don't know how.

me: wat?

c-s: You know computers, right?

me: Yes, but that is not "computers".

c-s: How hard can it be? We need a guide on how to do it in a couple of hours. Good luck.

For the love of Jeebus and all his holyness!!

These fuckers, that I've been studying with for the last semester need to get there shit together!

It's one thing that they want to discuss every single thing and NOT come to a different conclusion after a couple of hours....

BUT I fucking draw the fucking line in the dirt, when you shit eating wimps "forget" to format your code and do the worst half-assed job I have ever seen!
Why the fuck would you only indent half of the lines, without any sort of system?!?

And what is this? A huge fucking bunch of random spaces and tabs at the end of a line? Jeebus, save me!

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

[Hardware geeks, microcontroller geeks, please come]

Yet another Hacktoberfest tshirt...

Gotcha? (I bet you know who I am)

Just kidding. Just a random project idea I am not sure if it is possible to make from scratch.

It is essentially a usb external storage
About 32gb

And has a lcd that shows available storage space

And some buttons to play snake. (Yup)

Is it possible?

What should I expect when creating from scratch? (Microcontroller, c language, interfaces, etc)

>has idea for project (creating a watchface for my watch)
>downloads SDK
>finds out only Eclipse is supported
>Tries to go the CLI way
>Can't find a way to setup a new project without Eclipse
>Finds a boilerplate
>Gets random unexplainable, undocumented errors
>"Well, guess that's another idea that will not workout due to the incompetency of others"

Good morning to everyone, except that one Twitter dev who one day woke up and was like "YOU KNOW WHAT, MY APPLICATION WILL FEATURE BOTH OAUTH1 AND OAUTH2 ENDPOINTS, BUT SOME FEATURES WILL BE EXCLUSIVE TO EITHER OF THE TWO -NOT NECESSARILY THE MOST RECENT, JUST A RANDOM ONE-, AND ALSO THE OFFICIAL TWITTER LIBRARY WON'T COVER ALL THE ENDPOINTS SO PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO RESORT TO RAW HTTP REQUESTS INSTEAD OF USING MY SDK AND ALSO I'MMA MAKE DEVELOPERS FILL 2 VERY DETAILED FORMS, REQUIRING PERSONAL DATA AND ACTUAL REAL PHONE CALLS, JUST TO START DEVELOPMENT WITH 7 DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION TOKENS, BECAUSE SOME REQUESTS WILL REQUIRE A DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION METHOD THAN THE OTHER REQUESTS DESPITE ALL OF THEM PERTAINING TO THE SAME FUCKING ENTITY"

@netikras
not sure why, but you tend to appear on google search "devrant". i thought it was a random user each time when i first saw it... tried on different devices/ips... 80% of them, you showed up.

are you aware of this?
anyone else have similar, or totally different, insight on this?

though it was different IPs, i should mention that they were all on the same subnet... not local, public IPv4 /28 subnet

Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").

Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).

Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.

I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.

The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.

One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).

Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.

Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.

Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.

Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.

And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?

FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.

And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.

😒 I just found a new method of how to stay awake throughout the night without sleeping.... No coffee required

.. By 10pm
Start a project and name dictionary.py
On visual studio make sure you are not using internet because this is an exam and cheating ain't allowed..

Now start coding until it fully functioning and can generate random words out of predictions...

😩 Feel free to hate me after trying that

*turns on the TV*
*pop-up blows up in my face: "you have a new message"*
Me: ??
*confusingly presses "View"*
Msg: *Do you know why *some random shit show of a movie* is the most viewed? You can rent it in our video store*

YOU MOTHER FUCKING BRAINLESS ASSHOLES!!! I'M PAYING FOR THAT FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION! MY FUCKING MONEY!! MINE! WHICH I CHOSE TO GIVE TO YOU FOR A VERY SPECIFIC SERVICE!! DO NOT PUSH YOUR BRAINDEAD, GREEDY BULLSHIT ON ME!!! IF I'LL WANT TO WATCH A GOOD MOVIE I'LL FIND IT MY SELF! YOU ARE TO FUCKING RETARDED TO TELL WHAT A GOOD MOVIE IS!!!
GOD DAMN ADS PUSHING SHIT HEADED PEASANTS!!

Dear random blog/news website,

Why do you equate a random visit via a Google search to wanting you to bombard me with notifications? What is wrong with at least waiting for frequent or multiple repeat visits before asking for notification access?

As shocking as this may be to you, most of us are not desperate for content from random, virtually-nameless websites/blogs. If that is you, please seek professional help.

In fact, please seek professional help anyway.

Sincerely,

Virtually every visitor your website will ever have

LinkedIn recruiter:
- messages me about a fantastic job opportunity
- waits exactly 3 days
- messages me asking about the cool company I work at and how I find the engineering department here
- again 3 days
- messages me saying that he has heard some amazing recent news (there were none) about the fast growing company I work at and asks how I feel about the changes caused by our headcount growth
- 3 more days go by
- today, I get a notification that this recruiter has given me random LinkedIn endorsements for some skills that I had put on my profile back in college and since then forgot about even the existence of the endorsements feature

My favorite part is that the job they had originally sent expects a few languages and other tech skills most of which I actually have listed on my profile, but naturally, he only endorsed me for skills not required for said job spec.

What kind of weird sorcery is this?

This rant is about people's random shit in devrant, as a matter of fact, please let me remind you of the meaning of DEV-RANT:

- Dev : technical people only
- Rant : You should scream your guts out here

Memes, Adverts, slice of life, all these weirdo contents are not made for this platform, you have instagram for that ....

So please people. stop telling us that you have ADHD or that you sell some shit because we are supposed to be DEVS RANTING, and sharing our missfortune.

Dev rant is a place where we can vent out, and be comforted by your peers ...

Fuck you spammers !

I just switched from Arch to Fedora...

I know I know that all the cool kids use arch, but right now I'm not up for checking out random gdm bugs or some other manual tasks. I need a stable, fairly supported and well maintained distro and fedora just works!

It annoys me when restaurants provide an online form for reservations, put in their disclaimer that "no reservation = no table", but when you make the reservation things go wrong.
For starters: their infrastructure not working on weekends (while they are open on weekends), them doing manual instead of automatic validation of a reservation, them not even knowing how to manage their own reservation system (which gives me the idea that they purchased some random reservation software).

I ended end having to call them about my reservation, they had a confused voice at the phone while they were navigating their own reservation software and ended up saying "Yeah ok table is booked, bye". I understand they're stressed out but come on, I don't think this is a modern nor graceful process. If you're boasting about having a reservation form, then at least live up to it. It reminds me of another restaurant where I had made a reservation online and when I got there, they told me "Next time book by phone please, we're not used to our software". For *********** sake.

Bah.

Dealing with a Salesforce (what else,heh) bug that caused batch payment requests to be fired off at seemingly random intervals. Pretty big consequences to that one.

Of course, the problem is that no-one assumes it's a Salesforce bug, and you have to spend an eternity proving that it's not your fault...

Remember about this project of mine? Maybe not because I deleted the rant, but after a long pause I re-started working on it. In -just- 1 hour I wrote this code that picks a random number, goes from 0 to 5 and, if found, it prints the match.
This is my most (useless && senseless) project by far.

compile with gcc, ./a.out: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"

compile with clang, ./a.out: runs and fails.

compile with cc, ./a.out: Alternated between "Error: Too many arguments" and "Segmentation fault"...

ffs I'm done for the week I guess.
The problem is not that it fails, the problem is that it alternates because of time of compilation, power consumption, random blody oracles or the phase of the moon in a leap year on a Friday the 13th. God.Please.Send.~Nudes~. Help.

MTP is complete garbage. I want mass storage back.

The media transfer protocol (MTP) occasionally discovers new creative ways of failure. Frequently, directory listings take minutes to load or fail to load at all, and it freezes up infinitely (until disconnected) when renaming an item, and I can not even do two things simultaneously.

While files are being moved, I can not browse pictures or watch videos from the smartphone.

Sometimes, files are listed with the date 1970-01-01 (Unix epoch) instead of their correct date. Sometimes, files do not appear at all, which makes it unsafe to move directories from the device.

MTP lacks random access. If I want to play a two-gigabyte 4K 2160p video and seek in the video, guess what: I need to copy it to my computer's local mass storage first because MTP lacks random access.

When transferring high numbers of files, MTP has to slooooowly enumerate (or "prepare" or "calculate the time of") them all, which might even take longer than mass storage would need for the entire process. This means MTP might start copying or moving the actual files when mass storage is already finished.

Today, the "preparing to move" process was especially slow: five minutes for around 150 files! How am I supposed to find out what caused this random malfunction?

MTP sometimes drives me insane. I want mass storage back, at least for the MicroSD memory card, which uses a widely supported file system.

Imagine a 2010 $100 Android phone is better at file transfer than a 2022 $1000 Android phone (or iPhone, for that matter).

Random thoughts that I need to put somewhere. that I’ve been holding in and have to get out.

I feel like I’m more welcomed and wanted here than in real life. My friends don’t really think about me when making plans anymore, no one really thinks of me in general.

In school I was the awkward kid that was nice to everyone and I’m not taking the whole graduation well. I miss high-school and my vocational school, I miss my friends and I’ve just felt like things ended too soon and I just kinda feel alone

I wish I could just sit down and program and not procrastinate the only time I seem to be able to get stuff done is when I force myself. I feel like I’m such a shitty developer for not fighting it better. I need to be better.

I’ve not had a good few weeks. Since I’m taken a semester off from college no one in my family besides me is able to stay with a family member that’s in the hospital. I volunteered because I care for them deeply and want to help them. but it takes a huge toll on me since I have to be the one that listens to the doctors tells the rest of my family what’s happening. While Im kinda freaking out because I’m scared and nervous and NOT READY and I’ve had to stay a week there and I’ve been having to stay on and off and I haven’t really told anyone how I really am feeling about it all because I don’t like to be vulnerable in front of people and it’s been really hard and taking a toll and not helping the procrastination.

So, recently there has been an influx of AI generated absolute junk literally everywhere. We can see the internet destroy itself in realtime. And it's not even just the internet. Companies are pushing AI onto everyone in every aspect of our lives. Our fucking phones, every shitty company needs to have at least one AI powered feature that nobody ever asked for, just because it's relevant, the fucking already working search for your local files, fuckin' books even, holy fuck and all this is literally just me writing a random post without knowing what I'm talking about, because I just want to tell you that you lost the game again, see you next year.

I have a friend which have a hoarding disorder when it comes to coding. Here are some of the things he does:

1: If he rewrites, remove, or in any other way refactor a function, then he keeps the old one in the file commented out.

2: If he deletes a class then he takes the code and paste it into a class that he have just for old code. AN ACTUAL CLASS! Not just some random text file somewhere. Even though it is commented out, he leaves it so that you can initiate his garbage.

3: In point 1, the code is not pasted on the end. It inside all the other actual code.

So if you try to help him with something, then you have to dig through a mountain of shit just to find some code.

I got pranked. I got pranked good.
My prof at my uni had given us an asigment to do in java for a class.
Easy peasy for me, it was only a formality...
First task was normal but...
The second one included making a random number csv gen with the lenght of at least 10 digits, a class for checking which numbers are a prime or not and a class that will check numbers from that cvs and create a new cvs with only primes in it. I have created the code and only when my fans have taken off like a jet i realised... I fucked up...
In that moment i realised that prime checking might... take a while..

There was a third task but i didnt do it for obvious reasons. He wanted us to download a test set of few text files and make a csv with freq of every word in that test set. The problem was... The test set was a set of 200 literature books...

PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.

Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.

PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.

Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...

I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.

Just wanted to code some better public transportation route calculator (better ux) and found out that the pt company offers an API.

EVERY FUCKING REQUEST HAS TO BE SENT AGAINST THE SAME FUCKING ENDPOINT IN A POST REQUEST WITH THE ORIGINAL REQUEST AS FUCKING XML IN THE FUCKING BODY. At least they offer xsd files... BUT THATS NO FUCKING HELP. At least not that much of a help. AND THE DOCUMENTATION DOES NOT STATE A SINGLE FUCKING EXAMPLE OF HOW TO USE THAT FUCKING ENDPOINT. I FOUND THIS OUT BY SENDING RANDOM REQUESTS TO THE ENDPOINT TRYING TO REVERSE ENGINEER THE EXISTING FUCKING FRONTEND AND NOW I NOTICED THAT 80% OF THE FUCKING DOCUMENTED FEATURES ARE DISABLED BECAUSE: NOT FUCKING SUPPORTED!!!

MAAAN WHY DO YOU DO THIS.

Alternatively I'd use the GTFS files they provide but THEY ARE FUCKING INCOMPLETE AND DONT STICK TO THE EXISTING STANDARD GOOGLE DEFINED... They also offer a different propietary format... BUT THATS FUCKING UNDOCUMENTED AND FUCKING INCOMPLETE...

Fuck azure. Not even 2 hours in and this is the biggest bullshit I've seen. So fucking overcomplicated just to sign in and use the azure portal. Keep getting bombarded with random error messages when i try to create any fucking resource. Some tenant error no idea what that shit is. Annoying as fucjk

Rare that I stumble across a random sticker I want to put on my laptop so redbubble.com helps. Anyone got other fav sites?

// not my case image

Sitting with two of my friends

Me: You ever get a random eye ache? But like you actual eye not like that migraine behind it

Friend 1: Yes
Friend 2: Wtf? No

So the other dev knows what I'm on about but the civilian doesn't... interesting

super random

I never got the notion of "men don't like smart women", it's not a stereotype that I see in real life too much.
And I kinda think the opposite way, like yes honey please go on about mathematical topics I don't know a thing about <3

I’m really liking the Algorithm Design Manual so far, except for the fact that there’s not a glossary somewhere for “random mathematical symbols you have probably never had to deal with but we will use in psuedocode examples”

Never use random non-reversible git features on your 3-month project's master while just assuming and not actually knowing their functionality.
Or to avoid that altogether: Don't drink and git.

Hello Darkness, my old friend, I finally moved to dark side xD. Paying a little didn't even hurt, though I got some stickers from Unixstickers, thanks to someone in comment on a random rant here.
P. S. - No, I haven't used them all yet, I just put them together for a group photo and no, arch is not like that.

Did anyone else grow up using shitty laptops and cheap hard disks with just not enough space and now that they are adulting and have access to money, have this random, uncontrollable urge to keep buying more SSD's even though they already have more than they'll ever need or is it just me?

Regex are one of the finest art piece in software.

Had a 2 hour class and even after that I think you can spend months on mastering it.

It's not something I haven't used but we undermine whole beauty of how random characters can form formula and extract complicated pattern.

Kleene we owe you.

If you're subscribed to me only because of my jokes, feel free to ignore this rant. You won't miss anything.

If not, bear with me.

I was wrong about almost everything I can remember. Preaching so-called “conceptual thinking”, I invented a fantasy world of random anecdotes, which turned into a completely false worldview that shaped my reality. I bashed magical thinking, yet succumbed to it. What I believed to be true was just as magical, wrapped into what sounded like science. In the Dunning-Krueger scheme, I was right there on Peak Stupid.

Random hear-say, stupid concepts I invented, random “knowledge” I picked from YouTube videos, all that was rotting inside my head, one anecdote contradicting another. Ultimately, I think this was the reason of my constant anxiety and pointless, never-ending thought process in background.

If you learned anything factual from me and didn't fact-check it, please forget that immediately. The list includes but is not limited to everything on brain structure, everything on philosophy, almost everything on engineering and architecture, almost everything on systems theory and programming meta stuff (declarative, imperative, etc.)

I admit bashing unit tests. The only reason was me disliking writing them in uni. I wrote like three test cases, disliked it, and the rest was history. Everything else was a rationalization on top. If I was right about something, I was just lucky.

I'm not a CSS prodigy. I know stuff that earns me money and impresses my colleagues, but my knowledge is just one step above basics, in one thousand steps ladder.

Just make a program that spits out random strings, run it as code and see if it compiles. If not, repeat. That way, just like the apes typewriter thing, you find the most amazing code that is so complicated, nobody would have thought of, but it solves all of humanities problems, especially the power problem you created by running this code 1000000000000000000000 times parallel.

So.... My mom became a victim of cyber bullying. And i just feel sad for her. She is an old but smart lady in her 50s and not very used to modern tech and cyber crime.

We follow a (now dead) philosopher (say 'X') as religion, some random stranger came in their local fb group and started shit posting about X like " he is not a god , he is a thief, follow me , bla bla bla" stuff like that..

I don't give 1 qbit to that shitposter or that fight. I am just concerned that my mom (and many others) got so disturbed that she left the work and came home.

Internet is great , free and all, but as long as everyone is allowed to speak everything without caring for a consequence, simpleminded people will keep on getting hurt, evil shitposters will keep on getting fame and people with an unsure mind will keep on making wrong decisions

I can give you numerous examples where a person got the power and fame just because he keep on getting famous for his negetive posts, religious or otherwise. This has to stop, but am not sure how.

I already wrote this story in the comments to some other rant, still it's pretty funny.

So, i was modding my wii u by messing with system files, the only way to do this is to run an homebrew that hosts an ftp server so you can connect with your pc, the thing is, this server was not protected and allowed anonymous login, not an issue if you have a firewall.
BUT i had this console in the DMZ on the router for online play.
~You can see where this is going~
While doing stuff from my pc i started seeing a lot of entries on the console's log and i didn't understand why, i thought filezilla was doing some shit so i closed it but the log was still going, then i realized and quickly shut the server down.
Then i disabled the DMZ and went back to check what happened (unfortunately the log was only shown on screen and not saved, by closing the server i lost it) so looks like the attacker uploaded a lot of files with random names in pretty much every folder.
Due to the random names, I don't know which are system files and which attacker's files so i just kept them there. And today they should still be there.

--Random thinking--
What if the attacker also stole some files, he was hoping to get photos or valuable documents, but just got the console's system files and he thought something along the lines of "wtf is even this".
Also, how likely is that an ip scanner script gets to my ip in the 5 minutes i run the server, and (on the attacker side) how likely is to hack a server just to find out that's a wii u (the least successful console in the last generation)...

Moral of the story: double check your firewall if you are going to run an unprotected server.
That's it, stay safe :P

I have a project idea:
Web app that will automatically generate random like-a-facebook project ideas that will handle the buisness side and automatically post that offer on multiple forums, linkedin and send email with it. All using AI, Nural Networks, Big Data and VR.

Seriously, once fucking more some african or indian guy messages me to work for his awesome "its like a facebook but different" idea where he needs "just backend, frontend and mobile apps" and that he will just "handle the rest" and that "have no money now but after I sign a NDA he will give me some shares", I am gonna find him and shit on his head. Monday did not even ended yet and I already read 9 "offers" like this on my mail and facebook, only one guy white, rest indians or africans.

Why are then people suprised that we consider black and indian devs as a fucking joke 90% of the time. I have a indian dev friend and he could not find a dev job for 2 months, because everyone would rather work with less skilled asian / white guy than indian / black guy. This is not about racism, but about those retards that are acting like idiots. Hope I did not offend anyone (unless you do shit like this, then, please just smash your keyboard over your head).

Words like AI and neural networks are used just to lure the investors to our gofundme campain and steal their money after 2 years of silence.

Just in a meeting with data science team. They're testing a different random forest implementation and getting better results and I asked why and the HEAD OF THE FUCKING DATA SCIENCE DEPARTMENT says "I'm not sure, I think maybe different default parameters" and I'm like WHAT THE FUCK the old implementation we just set the defaults and went with that

Dear Client,

Proper English sentence structure, the kind that accurately conveys what you mean to ask me to do for you, requires a subject and a predicate. To hearken back to “Schoolhouse Rock”, if Mr. Morton is the subject of my sentence, then what the predicate says, he does. Mr. Morton walks. Mr. Morton talks. Etc.

Just tossing out random nouns and verbs in random order in an email will not help me to help you.

Sincerely,
Mr. Morton

So my boss thinks of debugging as a guessing game. As in you just say random things that have not even the slightest relation with the code where the bug is ... now i know why it take days to fix a little bug...

College days
Me and my friend sitting in Lab

Me - Dude I am not able to install simulator in this PC, it's asking for some password
Friend - Try typing random password, admin123, admin000, admin0, admin etc.
Me: (After 10+ attempts) Not working :(
Friend: (Saying to faculty) Mam what's the password for this PC, I need to install simulator.
Mam: Wait, Computer specialist will come and do it for you

** Waiting for 10 min **

Specialist came and starts installing it one by one. After 3 min

Specialist: (After realizing that he can't install it for all 50+ PC's)
Everyone select Administrator account, and press enter, then you will be able to download it.

Me and my friend staring at each other laughing so hard ... !

After 1 month, the password is still same :P
Fun fact: It is Technical Campus.