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Search - "what do you do again?"
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Installed Linux on an old windows laptop. This is my conversation 5 minutes ago...
Wife: "Have how you got internet?"
Me: "What do you mean, it has a wireless adapter built in?"
Wife: "But it's not Windows?"
WTF!!!
Me: "Pass my phone, this is going on devRant"
Wife: "Please no, not again"25 -
My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!14 -
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."11
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This is a fun conversation I had:
Test Engineer: 😑 The test bench burst into flames.
Me: 😪😲 Do what now?
TE: 😐 The test bench burst into flames. It made a pretty impressive fire ball.
Me: 😮 . . . How are you so calm about this?
TE: 😐 Well it's not on fire now.
Me: 😶 Good point.
TE:😧 made me mad as hell though.
Me: 😕 why's that?
TE: 😬 Cuz I only had one damn step left in that test procedure and it was to turn the damn test bench off.
Me: 🤔 Correct me if I'm wrong but the test bench is off is it not?
TE: 😐 Well yeah.
Me: 🤔 and you caused it to be turned off by your actions no?
TE: 😕 . . . yeah . . .
Me:🤔 sounds like you turned it off to me.
TE: 😒
Me: 🙂
TE: 😐
Me: ☺
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😐 but it won't turn on again.
Me: 🤔 do you have a requirement to be able to turn it on again after you turn it off?
TE: 😑 It's implied.
Me: 😐 not what I asked
TE: 😧 No not explicitly.
Me: 😎 sounds like you completed the test procedure.
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😧 that's not how it works.
Me: 😎 doesn't it?
TE: 😑 No.
Me:😎
TE: *walks away* 😧😧😧
Me: *turns back to computer* well I was just trying to help YOU out 😒
I am the best at interpersonal communication.17 -
Happened a few weeks ago but still awesome.
Me and a good friend have a website together but we don't monitor it too much.
He studied with me in the same class but went towards frontend/apps where I chose backend/servers/security. He knows how to do basic Linux stuff but that's about it.
We were at a party when he noticed that our site was offline. Walked over to me (because I manage the server) to notify me so I could look into it said I'd look into it (phone):
*visits site: nothing*
*online dig tool: got the server ip*
*remembered this one didn't have pubkey authentication - after three passwords attempts I'm in*
"service apache2 status"
*service doesn't exist*
*right, migrated this one from Apache to nginx....*
"history"
*ah, an nginx restart probably suffices...*
"service nginx restart"
BAM, site is reachable again.
*god damnit, lets encrypt cert expired...*
"history"
*sees command with certbot and our domain both in one*
"!892"
*20 seconds later: success message*
*service nginx reload*
BAM, site works securely again.
"Yo mate, check the site again"
Mate: 😶 w-w-what? *checks site and his watch* you started less than two minutes ago...?
Me: yeah..?
Mate: 😶 now this is why YOU manage our server and I don't 😐
His face was fucking gold. It wasn't that difficult for me (I do this daily) but to him, I was a God at that moment.
Awesome moment 😊25 -
First off I dont mind what OS you are using. This rant isnt about the OS but about hypocrisy for some of the users. Secondly Im sorry for typos, I typed it on my phone while waking up.
People are calling Windows spyware, so they are using Linux or MacOS. Even though I disagree with the term spyware I would be fine with that if you weren't a hypocrite.
How many of the people who use Linux and call windows spyware uses Google, Apple, Facebook or Twitter once in a while? I highly doubt you if you say you don't.
A few years back Ive tried to live without anything of google, this also meant blocking YouTube, their trackers an javascript libraries.
Not much of the internet still works if you block google servers.
Google is everywhere and always collects data.
Facebook and twitter also collects data about you. Everyone who has your number in their phone will share it with Whatsapp and google so they can build up a profile. Even if you dont block it.
What I am telling you is that its impossible to avoid being tracked by these companies (including MS).
Every company I mentioned here has a profile on you, if you want it or not.
So let's check which of these companies tries to follow European laws.
Google gets fine after fine but doesnt really try to avoid it.
It looks like Apple, MS, Facebook and Twitter are doing it better on this.
But if you check the European law every European citizen is allowed to request their complete profile collected by a company. And that means complete and not the public part you volunteered to give away.
So I tried it out.
Google didnt want to give it, apple didnt want to give it, Facebook didnt want to give it and Twitter doesnt want to give it.
The hypocrisy is becoming clesr with the following. I did get my complete profile from MS. It was a messy PDF file which crashed most PDF readers.
It contained a list of people I know and how I know them. It contained MS accounts I had in the past and my hobbies. (and quite a lot more)
So from these big companies MS is the only one following the European Law.
So yes they do collect data, but they are open in what they collect.
And Im not saying here that Microsoft is great just because they follow the law.
You can have your own opinion about this and do with it what you want. I just wanted to share some, maybe alternative, facts.
And again this isn't an OS rant or whatever. I dont mind what you do, but I do mind hypocrisy.18 -
My employer has a dev studio in Cali.
The office is gigantic.
It has amenities.
It has a stocked fridge full of iced coffee, energy drinks, and apparently wine.
All the devs have totally enviable hardware.
And they probably earn twice what I do, or at least 50% more.
Yet they write absolute shit, never test their code, and push broken updates every day, often marked as "ready for final testing." Their codebase is full of hacks and guesses and stale cruft and worst practices. I wrote a rant recently about one of their fuckups, which involved 18 million Facebook errors per. day. So that should give you some idea as to the quality of their code, and their level of can't-be-bothered.
Again, they make 50%-100% more than I do.
Their whiny lead dev is bloody lazy when it comes to building things correctly, and totally prefers to half-ass everything and complain instead. He probably makes 150% of what I do, doing like 25% as much work, and maybe 10% as well. Doesn't quite compare though, as he's a Unity dev, not a backend dev. So his work isn't as critical.
akagdkdafavskakeuxbfh.
Bloody pisses me off.
"But their cost of living is higher!"
THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE EMPLOYED.rant root gets angry this is the short-short version overpaid crap-tier devs but i got too angry this was originally to be a comment22 -
Yep. I worked at a place where my director and manager were true mysogynists. One day the director walks behind one of my subordinates and knees her in the back of the knees to make her fall back so that he can catch her. He does this in front the whole office. I told her that I had her back if she chose to complain. We went to our CO and laid everything out, and he was forced to take action. I was pulled aside and told that I would ruin my career if I went durn this path. I told them that it was more important to me to do the right thing. The director was forced to resign, the manager was reassigned to another location, and yes, my career suffered, especially in the area of promotion. But you know what? I'd do it again, because it was the right thing to do.13
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An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."7 -
*Facebook Hackers follow the Rules*
(real story)
TL;DR: sorry, not available, can't do spoilers
One night I was with a group of friends out at a pub. A guy and his girlfriend show up, I didn't know them but they were my friend's friends.
The girl kept bragging the whole time about his boyfriend being a professional programmer, trying to remind it to everybody whenever possible (don't ask me why!).
So, after a while, the discussion moves towards "suspect Facebook activities" and the guy starts saying that he can hack Facebook.
- "What do you mean?", I ask.
- "Hacking into other people's accounts, even with 2 factor authentication. I did it a lot of times"
- "Wait, and they don't notice?"
- "Of course not! ^_^ He's a hacker", the girl replies.
Ok, time to do a coming out.
- "Hey, I'm a developer myself. Can you give me an idea of what you did in technical terms? Did you find a vulnerability? Used a virus? Maybe a keylogger?"
- "No... Uh... Well... The secret is to read the terms of service"
- "What?"
- "Yes... yes it's all in the facebook terms of service..."
- "Uhm, I'm not really sure I'm following. Could you prove it by hacking my Facebook account? I'm giving you the permission".
In less than a minute the discussion flew completely away and they never mentioned computers again.
😂😂8 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
I suddenly remembered this after being gone from my previous company for nearly a year.
So, I worked there as a tech supporter and Linux engineer.
What would often happen was clients calling with an issue regarding software of some sorts and about half the time, instead of LOOKING AT THE GODDAMN ERROR MESSAGE they'd just click it away fast and complain shit wasn't working.
I specifically remember this one case:
*big client mails complained that one of their clients' email isn't working. Screenshots weren't possible apparently so after emailing back and forth for way too long, we decide to do a screen sharing session (which we never do).*
(for the record, already emailing for hours, client very frustrated, me as well because the behavior of the software sounds impossible)
Me: alright, close everything, then open it again so I can see what happens.
Client: *opens mail client, error appears, client clicks error away faster than an arch user being able to mention they use arch*
Me: uhm.... I assume you already know what that message said and that it has nothing to do with the issue?
Client: it has nothing to do with the issue.
Me: okay... But have you at least looked the message?
Client: no but it has nothing to do with the issue.
Me: but, how'd you know if you won't look at it?
Client: it has nothing to do with the issue, okay?
Me: okay.... so, what's happening here?
Client: the user isn't receiving email anymore at this point!
Me: alright, have you checked the settings and everything?
Client: of course, all good
Me: okay but can we at least restart the software again to at least check the error message?
Client: FINE. *restarts client (pun intended, of course)*
Error message: username or password incorrect, can't connect to the server.
Client:..........
Client:............
Client:...............
Client:..................
Client:.....................
Client:..................
Client:...............
Client:............
Client:.........
Client: 😐
Client: 😶
Client: 😅
Client: 😬
Client:..... Right, I changed the password...
Client: *sets correct password*
*poof, error message gone*
Client:..... Thanks 💀
Me: you're welcome 😄
💀3 -
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
Manager: Why did you clear the data from the database? The client is now specifically requesting it and we don’t have it anymore!
Dev: You told me to.
Manager: Well why did you listen? It’s obvious now that that data was very important and should have been kept!
Dev: Last time you told me to do something that wasn’t a good idea I tried to explain why and told me not to question you ever again and that doing so was “disrespectful” and then threatened to have me fired. So now I just go along with what you say and let you suffer the consequences of not listening.
Manager: Well don’t do that then! It’s obviously not working very well! It’s ok to disagree with me you just have to make sure that what you think is something I agree with!
Dev: …11 -
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE6 -
HP Virtual Agent, you're about as useless as the fucking hardware that I'm troubleshooting. What part of fucking "Arch Linux" do you not understand?! Not everyone runs your fucking assumed OS choices - WanBLowS 7, 8 or 10. What's more, the hardware that I'm troubleshooting doesn't even support those bloody operating systems.
Long live HP and its random freezes due to poor thermal management. And long live Intel's fucking wireless drivers, that for no good reason disconnect after half an hour and require me to restart NetworkManager to (hopefully) get shit connected again. And long live those useless fucking "virtual assistants"!!!16 -
At my previous job we had the rule to lock your PC when you leave. Makes sense of course.
We were not programmers but application engineers, still, we worked with sensitive data.
One colleague always claimed to be the most intelligent and always demanded the "senior" - title. Which he obviously did not deserve.
multiple times a day forgot to lock his workstation and we had to do it for him.
My last week working there, I've had it. He forgot it again... So I made a screenshot of his current environment. Closed everything. Set his new background with the screen shot and killed explorer (windows). Then finally I locked his PC.
When he came back he panicked that his PC froze. He couldn't do shit anymore. Not knowing what to do... 😂
Which makes him a senior of course.
But seriously, first thing I would do is open the task manager and notice that explorer wasn't running... Thus my background with the taskbar isn't real.... My colleagues must be pranking me!
Nope... The "senior" knew little10 -
We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.
We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.
Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.
Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.
Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.
If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.
Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.
You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.
Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.7 -
I have this one major pet peeve - getting interrupted on any messenger by "hey".
Q: Hey
A: Hey, what's up?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work-
Q: Do you have a second?
A: Sure, what's up?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work... Again-
Q: Do you know anything about #feature#?
A: Yeah, I wrote most of it, what do you need?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work... AGAIN-
(goes on same pattern, takes half an hour for a 10 second question/answer)
Like... Come on!!! Don't do this to me
I get it, I like to be cordial and friendly - but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting your message across without making me have to go back and forth (interrupting my work).9 -
Dev: Ok issue fixed, you just need to log out and back in again on your end to receive the fix
User: It’s still not working
Dev: Did you log out and in again?
User: No why would I want to do that?
Dev: It’ll reset your locally saved login information which is causing the issue
User: I thought you said the issue was fixed?
Dev: On our end yes, we just need you to reset your end in order to receive the fixed version
User: Look I have been dealing with this issue for 6 months. Fixing bugs are your responsibility. I have too much to do, you have to get this fixed. *click*.
Dev: Yeah you submitted the bug ticket yesterday night though
Email from users manager later that day: <User> is saying you are refusing to fix this bug. This is unacceptable. Fix it or else I will escalate this. Also there are other bugs we noticed today too, fixing them is absolutely critical!
Dev: …
Dev: What other bugs did you notice?
*no response for 2 weeks and then:
User: Hey you can close this ticket, the issue seems to have resolved itself.
Dev: ….muppet.17 -
Dev: I’m taking a vacation next week
Manager: Good you need a break! I’ve put together a list of tickets for you to action during vacation since you’ll mostly be free during that time
Dev: Do you know what vacation means?
Manager: Well I work during *my* vacation
Dev: You write non-answers to emails and interrupt devs with status questions that are easily answered by a single glance at the kanban board. Also, you’ve just assigned a month’s worth of storyboard points to me on my week long vacation. We’d get more work done if you didn’t “work” during your vacation.
Manager: Well it all needs to get done! It’s the only way we can catch up and get ahead of schedule.
Dev: Why do you exist again?15 -
I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!
ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!32 -
Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.
"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."
Pause....
"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."
I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:
"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"7 -
That's it. I fucking quit.
Over a month of unpaid work, developing your stupid course, only to get a high-quality outline rejected because "it's not what we wanted" again.
First outline, fuckers ask to do something with a Raspberry Pi and Yocto. Fine, but no Yocto as I don't know anything about it and the coworker doesn't even have a Raspberry Pi to flash the images on. Micromanagement guy (god I hate that word) agrees, fine no Yocto then. So no Yocto it is.
2 weeks later... Course outline is finished. Review stage.. rejected. Needs moar Yocto.
Fine... I'll include Yocto. Coworker was put off the course, I'm exclusively on it now. Time to do it well and get my feet wet with Yocto.
2 weeks later... Course outline is finished and looks pretty good. Review stage.. rejected. Needs less Raspberry Pi. Do it without the Raspberry Pi.
An embedded systems course whose core component is that fucking Raspberry Pi. Omit it they said. WHAT?!!
"Oh yeah but there's this other course that's selling like hot pockets, we can just redo that in videos. Make it more like that course."
You.. you can't be for real, can you? If students want to take that course... What makes you think that they wouldn't just pick.. *that damn course* then?
"But hey" micromanager said, "don't loose hope and confidence, I'm here🤪"
🤪. That describes your level of competence pretty well, you stinking piece of apeshit.
Go back to your micromanaging, at least you don't completely fucking suck at that.
2 times rejected because YOU fucking company's board can't describe your desires in a course properly. You know what, I think I'm starting to understand why web devs keep on complaining about indecisive clients now. Because you know company's board, you seem a lot like those clients from hell. Eat shit.
🖕18 -
I usually don't work for indian clients. But when I do, they make sure I don't get paid.
Some highlights from my last project,
Client: Do you know ERPnext?
Me: No, but I am good at python.
Client: My boss wants me to find a guy who can create barcode generator for erpnext.
Me: I can use pyBarcode to do it.
This is exciting I thought. I get to learn a new framework. Start working on it. Not an hour passes by,
Client: hey can you remove this menu item?
Me: Which one?
Client: Also can you add the dashboard icons to left sidebar? Like Odoo? Do you know it? It is also python based.
Me: Then why don't you just use Odoo instead?
Client: My boss wants it. He doesn't understand computers. He is pissing mr off.
Me: Then how come he suggested erpnext?
Client: His friend told him.
*experience mindfuck*
For the next 3 days he has me working on these UI tweaks, never mentions barcode again.
But I finish the barcode stuff. Tripple check everything to make sure they work. Tell him to check so I can get paid. Guy asks his boss to check.
Boss > Client: It doesn't work
Me: What doesn't work?
Boss > Client: Everything!
Client: I actually tested everything and they work. My boss doesn't know how to use it. He is very old.
Makes me make more changes and finally when I ask for the work done so far,
Client: Boss didn't come to office today. I'll get you paid. Please try to understand my situation.
Me thinking, "mofo your boss didn't hire me,l. You did". But I keep calm and tell him I won't work until I get paid 50%.
3 days passed. No reply. Set his skype status to "Away" forever.
*spidey sense tells me I'm not getting paid, again*
U am beyond pissed and burnt out. I fucking wish there was a mafia I can request to collect my fucking money from them.20 -
A real interaction I just had...
Team Member: "Can you handle this ticket for a bug fix?"
Me: "Whats the problem?"
TM: "We aren't exactly sure..."
Me: "Ok, so can you show it to me?"
TM: "We can't get it to happen again, and when it does the machine freezes and we can't debug it..."
Me: "So, if I find a fix then how do we test to make sure it worked?"
TM: "I'm not sure..."
Then today,
Product Manager: "How's that bug fix going?"
Me: "Well, let's see. The problem still hasn't been defined. I have never been able to recreate the issue. I have a hacky fix in a PR..."
PM: "Great, so we can deploy today?!?"
Me: "No, because we have no way to reproduce or test this issue at all..."
PM: "Do you think your fix will work?"
Me: "Honestly, no. If you're asking for my opinion then you can have it. IMO this is NOT a bug fix but a change to how the system operates altogether. This system was built by someone who didn't know what they are doing. We have done our best with it but it is a house of cards. And now the solution is to replace a card at the bottom layer. It is likely that no matter what fix we do (even when we can fucking test it) that it will topple the house of cards..."
PM: ~Looking at me in disbelief~
Me: "If you ask me for my honest professional opinion then you will get it. Keep that in the future if that honest response was outside what you expected."
PM: "I will do that, thanks for your assessment"
Where do we go from here? God only knows.
Praise Joe Pesci5 -
HP printer: *starts acting on its own*
*pulls plug*
NOW WHO FUCKING OWNS YOU, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!! WHO PAID COLD HARD FUCKING MONEY FOR YOU HUH, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!!!!
Don't you ever dare to do anything again, unless I fucking tell you to, fucking worthless piece of shit, that can't even do its printer jobs properly!!! WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF JUNK!!!
Guess I'll leave it unplugged until I have a new print job for it at this point. Geez, can't even trust my fucking printer to do what it's supposed to anymore!!! Long live the world in Big Brother. Lest we forget that there exists such a thing as fucking ownership!!!14 -
You know what? Fuck this shit. We spend most of our life locked down in a school, we are being told facts, tested and stressed for many years with the only hope to get out as soon as possible.
Failing is something that keeps you there indefinitely.
Parents keep pushing on kids to achieve the best and get good grades to have a job.
Then something happens.
You get out of school and what happens?
You start working.
A.k.a modern slavery...
Employers thinks that since you are young they are doing YOU a favor if they decided to hire you.
So you find yourself having to do the same tasks everyone is doing, perhaps you are even fully capable of managing them and get the shit done but guess what!!
You are paid the minimum.
You barely make enough to pay off your rent which keeps you locked away from Holidays abroad, from that huge cake you desperately want.
And guess what! Try to raise your voice and you'll get fired in a Matter of seconds, replaced with someone else which accepts any condition.
You dream of a house, a family and a car but you can't even eat healthy with that salary.
So you are forced to buy cheap and low quality food from the same store again and again till you had enough and spend some days with that horrible feeling...
Calling you to get a job interview feels like they are doing you a favor, they always try to give the minimum possible and expect you to work in a serious manner and respect their deadlines.
Colleagues earn a lot more even though they aren't doing anything different from you.
For the first year you won't have any holiday, let alone traveling or anything different from just staying home for 3 days straight.
Banks won't give you a loan because your job doesn't pay off
The day that your car is broken you struggle to eat the whole month.
On top of that, taxes. Because they aren't taking away enough.
I don't want to live this life, I don't want to become a modern slave and work 8-17 everyday for the rest of my life and retire with a shitty retirement pension that won't probably grant me anything again.
I had enough of this shit.
I don't want to go back to work and pretend to do what I am supposed to do with a smile on my face knowing that I am just a number and that no matter how skilled I am I can always get replaced with N number of people for a lower salary of mine.
I am tired
I dream of a life that I won't ever reach this way.
Today I looked up houses prices and felt like shit.
I will never in my entire life be able to afford something so expensive, let alone buying furnitures and what is needed or what I like.
I dream of having my place, my dog and my family but apparently I am asking too much.
How is this even fair in 2018/2019?
I... I am... Speechless.
I wonder how many people out there are in the same situation or even worse and I can't even wrap my mind around that.
This is just modern slavery.
My boss makes a shit load of money from young people that can't complain because they are threatened and will eventually be replaced...
This is my rant.22 -
5 Types Of Programmers
1.The duct tape programmer
The code may not be pretty, but damnit, it works!
This guy is the foundation of your company. When something goes wrong he will fix it fast and in a way that won’t break again. Of course he doesn’t care about how it looks, ease of use, or any of those other trivial concerns, but he will make it happen, without a bunch of talk or time-wasting nonsense. The best way to use this person is to point at a problem and walk away.
2.The OCD perfectionist programmer
You want to do what to my code?
This guy doesn’t care about your deadlines or budgets, those are insignificant when compared to the art form that is programming. When you do finally receive the finished product you will have no option but submit to the stunning glory and radiant beauty of perfectly formatted, no, perfectly beautiful code, that is so efficient that anything you would want to do to it would do nothing but defame a masterpiece. He is the only one qualified to work on his code.
3.The anti-programming programmer
I’m a programmer, damnit. I don’t write code.
His world has one simple truth; writing code is bad. If you have to write something then you’re doing it wrong. Someone else has already done the work so just use their code. He will tell you how much faster this development practice is, even though he takes as long or longer than the other programmers. But when you get the project it will only be 20 lines of actual code and will be very easy to read. It may not be very fast, efficient, or forward-compatible, but it will be done with the least effort required.
4.The half-assed programmer
What do you want? It works doesn’t it?
The guy who couldn’t care less about quality, that’s someone elses job. He accomplishes the tasks that he’s asked to do, quickly. You may not like his work, the other programmers hate it, but management and the clients love it. As much pain as he will cause you in the future, he is single-handedly keeping your deadlines so you can’t scoff at it (no matter how much you want to).
5.The theoretical programmer
Well, that’s a possibility, but in practice this might be a better alternative.
This guy is more interested the options than what should be done. He will spend 80% of his time staring blankly at his computer thinking up ways to accomplish a task, 15% of his time complaining about unreasonable deadlines, 4% of his time refining the options, and 1% of his time writing code. When you receive the final work it will always be accompanied by the phrase “if I had more time I could have done this the right way”.
What type of programmer are you?
Source: www.stevebenner.com16 -
I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:
$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.
So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:
$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?
$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.
$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.
$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.
$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?
$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.
$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?
$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.
Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.
Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport3 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.9 -
"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Once."
"You sure?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
*find references*
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Can you check it?"
"Okay."
*shows code"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."
YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!2 -
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.11 -
Bored waiting for code to compile so here is a joke someone sent me last week .....
A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole.
"Holy crap!" says the bartender, completely livid. He says to the man, "Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?"
"Nope. What did he do this time?" says the man.
"He just swallowed one of the balls off the pool table, whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, well I hope it kills him 'cause he's been driving me nuts" says the man.
After finishing his drink, the man leaves.
A few weeks later the man returns to the bar with his monkey. After ordering a drink, the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. Up on the bar, he monkey finds some peanuts. He grabs one out of the bowl, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your stupid monkey did this time?" he asks.
"What now?" responds the man.
"He stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the bartender.
"Well, what do you expect?" replied the man. "Ever since he ate that pool ball he measures everything first!"4 -
Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...2 -
I applied for a backend job. Somehow i ended up doing frontend. Ok whatever the pay is alright and i dont mind doing js. But then i see the backend team doing absolute horseshit, stacking up overhead and not even fucking documenting the endpoints, i get mad.
And now our sysadmin left so there is no fucking server and i cant run locally because of 9trillion config files (remember the overhead part?) and the pm is nagging me to get the site done WHEN THERE IS NO FUCKING SERVER. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SET IT ALL UP AGAIN? THATS NOT MY FUCKING JOB YOU IMBECILE FUCKFACE.8 -
I'm seriously considering never doing fixed rate projects for clients ever again. The conversation will likely go like this, though:
"How much to build my website?"
"$100/hour."
"Sorry, I don't think you heard me correctly. I asked how much to build the whole website."
"$150/hour"
"Wait, you changed the rate! Why won't you give me a fixed cost?"
"Why won't you pay me for my time?"
"Because I can get it done for a cheaper fixed cost somewhere else!"
"But how do you know that's actually cheaper?"
"What do you mean?"
"We pad fixed price projects precisely because we fear not being fully paid for our time."
"Oh."16 -
Me:, I built you this beautiful site it's super modular, it's really straight forward
Client: urm we aren't tech people if you could..... Set up all the pages for us using the modules so we can just input the data
Me: 😡 yes I could do that or you could take 5, minutes to learn this system. It's simple 😡 see that title there "left image right title module" . I've done the sample for the templates. So if you need to you can duplicate it! There's even a duplicate button!
Client: can you do it I don't want to waste time learning it right now since we are on a tight deadline
Me in head: fuck off you supreme bitch you try to get my mates dad fired! Now I've done you this huge favour getting you out of the shit 😡 and you won't take 5 minutes to just look at the admin section your old site was wix ffs.
My next move(not yet done): here is a word document it outlines what you need to do 😐
If after this see asks again I'm asking to work with someone else or quitting the project2 -
Overheard a phone call between the Senior Network Engineer and a contracted Printer-company at 9am this morning. Photocopier was giving a 'functional error' message on-screen and not printing;
N.E:
I logged this call last
Thursday afternoon. Thats 1.5 days of the photocopier not working on our busiest site! Where's the engineer??
.... yes, that's the error message.
Yes, i can log into it, you should have the IP address from the call.
Yes, it's obviously pinging too.
Yes.... we've power-cycled the printer multiple times...
yes, tried that too...
yes, I've unplugged the network cable as well... left it for 15 minutes.
... sorry. What?
What did you say?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
Would you also like me to rub the side of the f***ing machine, and say a prayer while I'm at it??
*takes a deep breath*
Fine, I'll do that but when it doesn't work, i want someone out on the site before lunchtime today!
*slams phone down angrily*
N.E to me as he stomps out of the office;
He wants me to get the user to unplug the network cable and do a power cycle. How the f**k is that going to help? Idiots! Don't know why we have a contract with them, i could do a better job!!!
*comes back into office 5 minutes later*
Me: did it fix it?
NE: yeah. Damn.
*leaves room again to make apologetic phonecall*2 -
Usually I do love my colleagues, but lately....
FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM NOT YOUR WALKING HUMAN GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE SHITOVERFLOW CHATGEPETTO INSTANCE! READ YOUR FUCKING LOGS, DO A FUCKING INFORMATION LOOKUP, READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.
OH YOU HAVE A QUESTION YOU SAY? PLEASE FOR FUCK SAKE ELABORATE WITH SOMETHING MORE THEN 'Please help me with the pipeline"' WHILE YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM IS A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF GIT, LINUX OPERATING SYSTEMS AND AUTOMATION.
OH YOUR BRANCH IS, WHAT, 3 MONTHS BEHIND MASTER? NEVER HEARD OF A FUCKING REBASE? WHATS THAT YOU SAY??? YOU DONT KNOW WHEN TO SKIP A COMMIT??? ITS YOUR FUCKING CODEBASE! READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !!!
WHATS THAT? YOU WORK IN VSCODE AND YOU DO T K OW HOW? AGAIN READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !
Self.end(rant)11 -
preface: swearing.
because anger.
So. I'm trying to use Material Design with Material UI. The components and UI look *great*.
It's from google, though, which really pisses me off. but I like what I can do with the UI.
HOWEVER.
I really want a grid system for responsiveness. because obviously. besides, i really hate doing all the responsive shit myself. it sucks and i hate it.
Material Design does not include a grid system. okay, it includes a grid component, but it's not for site layout. it's for making a grid of images. or something.
What it does include is a lot of very lengthy documentation on what you should do, complete with fancy graphics saying "THIS IS HOW YOU MUST DO IT OR YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG" -- but they don't actually support it! you must do it all yourself.
Why oh why would they tell you how you must do things if they don't provide the tools to make it possible? fucking google.
You might decide it's a grand idea to interject at this moment and say: "there are plenty of tools out there that allow you to do this!" And sure, you'd be right. however -- and i think this might just barely might be worth mentioning -- THEY REALLY FUCKING SUCK. Hey, let's look at some of the classes! So clear and semantic! This one was nice and simple: "xs4" -- but wtf does that mean? okay, it apparently means 4 columns as they'd appear on an extra-small layout. How does that work on a large layout? Who knows. Now, how about "c12"? okay, maybe 12 columns? but how does that display on a phone with a layout small enough to only have 4 columns? i don't know! they don't know! nobody knows!
oh oh oh oh. and my particular favorite: "mdc-layout-grid__cell mdc-layout-grid__cell--align-bottom" WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm not writing a goddamn novel! and that one claims to be from google itself. either they've gone insane or someone's totally lying. either way, fuck them.
SO. TERRIBLENESS ASIDE.
Instead of using Material Design v0.fuckoff that lacks any semblance of a grid layout, I figure I'll try v1.0 alpha that actually has one supported natively. It's new and supports everything I need. There's no way this can't be a good idea.
The problem is, while it's out and basically usable, none of the React component libraries fucking work with it. Redux-Form doesn't work with it either because it doesn't understand nested compound controls, and hacking it to work at least triples the boilerplate. So, instead, I have to use some other person's "hey, it's shitty but it works for me" alpha version of someone else's project that works as a wrapper on top of Redux-Form that makes all of this work. yeah, you totally followed that. Kind of like a second-cousin-twice-removed sort of project adding in the necessary features and support all the way down. and ofc it doesn't quite work. because why would things ever be easy?
like seriously, come on.
What i'm trying to do isn't even that bloody hard.
Do I really have to use bootstrap instead?
fuck that.
then again, fuck this significantly more.
UGH.18 -
Request: I don't like the way the page looks. Make it better.
Question: can you give me some more info? What is it that you dislike about the page? You approved the design, the mockup, the HTML version...and we just finished implementing the backend. Can you be more specific?
Response: make it more like this *gives link to completly new layout from a theme on themeforest*. Why does mine not look like this. Make it like this!
Reaction: *fuck this shit, never freelancing again...* Well, then do it yourself. I'm done!
// best feeling ever :)3 -
*makes course outline*
Management: Um yeah make the outline similar to this course from earlier
Me: Hmm, so Yocto etc.. well that'll require a good amount of research because I've got no idea what Yocto is or how I'm supposed to use it.
*researches about Yocto, prepares build VM and Raspberry Pi target, thinks of how on Earth I'd make my coworker without Raspberry Pi interface with it from across the world*
2 days later..
Management: Yeah actually we don't want Yocto. Just do simple stuff like application development, GPIO etc.
Me & co-worker: Awesome mate! That'll make things a lot easier. Except for the 2 days of lost work, but we can live with that if it's just GPIO and such.
3 days later..
Management: guys your course outline sucks. Do it all over again, we want Yocto to be in it after all.
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Why don't you behave a little bit less like a fucking client that doesn't know what they want for once?!!18 -
The story of my webshop with this fuckin' asshole continues! I decided to stop with the webshop as my partner didn't do anything, so I handed over my shares to my business partner. This was done formally at the notary. Immediately after, we agreed that I would hand over everything that same week. 1 day later I cannot access any accounts. He said that a hand over was not necessary and that he took appropriate measures. Now, 4 months later, I got a letter from a collection agency telling me to hand over the tradename. Uhm what? Tradename? I don't own it so I replied that there's nothing to hand over. A day later again a letter that he will sue me if I don't hand over the tradename. Mr. Prick Lawyer, I understand that you mean the DOMAINname, but why the fuck do you keep referring to the tradename?! You too stupid to understand the difference? So, to get rid of this crap I made an offer to sell him the domainname, which he accepted. But mr. Asshole moved the shop to a different hostingprovider thinking that the dns would be magocally updated. Of course not asshole. So I offered (to be cooperative) to update dns so his site will work again. I did. A day later again a letter that site still not reachable and he'd sue me for all damages etc.
What a muppet show! You think ypu can sue me because YOU made a config mistake? He's a funny guy! I told the lawyer to not send me any 'issues' caused by mr. Asshole's unprofessional acting and if he does, I'll charge him for every second spent.
Today mr. Asshole's webshop says 'Apache is functioning normally' and that's it. Well done, asshole! See how eaay my job is and how little knowledge it requires? You proved ypu can do it yourself Big boy! Good luck selling shit on your website. Good luck with your seo rankings. And good luck fucking yourself in the ass!
Now I'm going to sue you because of copyrights violations. You use my software and you don't have a license. Either pay or remove it or I'll make you pay!5 -
Tech support to family member:
Mom: "App just goes black after 30 seconds"
Me: "remove it and install again"
Mom: "how?"
Me: "tap the icon and hold till icon wiggles"
Mom: "doesn't do anything"
Me: "did you tap and hold?"
Mom: "hold what?"
Me:"Tap and and don't pull your finger up"
Mom: "Nothing... oh wait, yes it jiggles"
Me: "lift finger, tap the x that appeared on the icon, follow instructions"
Mom: "ok did that so what do I do now?"
Me: Grrrrrrrrr
Mom: "ok it's deleted"
Me: "Go to app store, and search for the app. after you tap the appstore icon, in a moment or so you should see a magnifying glass icon with the word search, tap that"
Mom: "nope no magnifying glass"
Me: ggrrrrrrr "yes their is one"
Mom: "nope"
Me: "yep"
Mom: "nope, it isn't their, I'M NOT STUPID YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE I'M OLD!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M SO STUPID? THERE IS NO MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!"
Me: Deep, deep deep breath to the point of bursting my lungs (which is the preferable outcome)
Me: "top right corner or bottom right corner"
Mom: silence.... a few crickets in the background then some giggles followed with "Oh yea, their it is "....
20 minute call. no hi, how are you, how's your day. Just hello, I have a problem, it's fixed, bye.
Sometimes, and I don't want to sound mean BUT I wish we could pick our family.....10 -
Today I was wandering through the code of the project I work on. The project is on JS, turns out someone named an object key `undefined`. They had the wonderful idea since they didn't want to pass a key through on the side where the info stored in the object is used(or at least that's what I assume).
Look at the image. (not the actual implementation but you get it and it actually works if you want to try it)
👏🏼 I don't know who did it and I rather not git blame it, but pray to the 7 gods you never do something like that again while I'm around or you are going to be in need of prosthetic fingers to code again motherfucker.16 -
Just a friendly reminder that when you hear one or more of the following:
- underrepresented
- identity politics
- *phobia
- toxic *ity
- cis* (though "cisco" is fine)
- diversity
- culture appropriation
- passive-aggressive
- patriarchy
...and other bullshit, feel free to not talk to that person ever again. You'll miss nothing. Always remember that their goal is not equality but power to oppress whoever have a different worldview.
If you fear twitter backlash, fear not. Political shit comes and goes, but the inherent value of what you do is here to stay and means something at all times.
To anyone who wants to judge me because of this — remember, what you have read above comes from a bipolar transgender bisexual rape victim.38 -
I was contacted by a college senior guy (he was part of the core team of the club that I recently joined in my college).
Him: Do you want to launch your own startup?
Me: Yeah, I would love to.
Him: Nice, Listen. Even I want to start my own company. If you don't know, the current trend is ML and AI . So, I would like to base my startup on an AI application.( He was in his final year )
Me: I haven't tried any ML or AI stuff before.Sorry.
Him: Take 2 months time to study the AI concepts and do the app.
Me: But first, tell me what the AI app is supposed to do?
Him: It can be anything I have to think, you take the AI part and the UI and integration; with your skills and my idea let's build a startup and I will appoint you as the head of Application Development in my company.
*wtf, seriously dude? you want me to build the whole app for you and all you will do is put your fucking startup's name on it. I am building an application all by myself why the f would I ask you to publish it for me*
Me: Okay, I am getting late, I have to leave..
Made sure I didn't meet him again
and I have also came out of that stupid club..3 -
PO: Here's a small cool feature I thought of, should be easy enough *shows very basic draft spec*
Me: Cool, how does it work for logged out users? What about customers in Spain? Does it work with US sales tax? Do we need to update the privacy policy? Do we have translations? What's the fallback if it breaks? Who will be maintaining the content?
PO: ...
PO: I'll get back to you
*never hears about feature again*4 -
The year was 2021 and we have to implement X
Alice, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous company. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale
Alice: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Alice: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...
Then 2022 came, Alice was promoted thanks to the incredible leadership to deliver X, I joined a different project, a part of this project is to implement Y, similar to X.
Bob, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous project. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale, you can ask Alice if you want.
Bob: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Bob: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...
It's 2023 now, Bob got promoted thanks to the awesome leadership to roll out Y, I joined another project, which requires us to develop Z, similar to X and Y.
Chris, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: ah shit here we go again...5 -
Don't you just love it when upper Management people that never wrote a line of code in their life tell you, the software engineer peasant, to refactor all of your projects with Inclusive Terminology?
I mean I'll do it, the company is just protecting their image and money... But I blame the sick mind that came up with this in the first place.... It's implying that all sofware engineers are somehow racist and sexist and I'm somewhat offended by that notion. Whoever started this trend should seriously burn in hell.
P. S.
Apparently "the elderly" is also non-inclusive and should be referred to as "older adult"... What the fuck?
Do you not realize that you're just disassembling words and nothing else? Also "AIDS patient" should be referred to as "person living with AIDS"... Ok? Same fucking thing? If not even worse? At least "patient" kinda invokes that professional help is given... A person living with AIDS just implies you're infected and seeking no help...
You help no one with this non-issue bullshit. All your replacements will be deemed outdated and non-inclusive in the next 5 years again... Fucking hell... Waste of time and money19 -
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4 -
*plays game for 10h consecutive*
.. yeah yeah I know what you're thinking. This guy doesn't have a life. And you're probably right.
*gets hungry*
… I could really use a hamburger right now 🤔
… But the fast food tent is ~30 minutes walking distance away, and this game automatically logs you out after 30 mins inactivity...
What if I could program in some delayed input?
*jazz hand routine engages*
Hmm.. so if I do something like:
PS C:\Users\Condor> $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('abusing this chat~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('for upkeep of 10h play~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('while I get myself a hamburger~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('sorry~');
that should work, no?
Le output:
abusing this chat
sorry
Well, even for PowerShit.. good enough, right? It gets the message across 🙃
Hmm.. let's just put an afk message instead, as I'm using the guild chat and don't want any of the members to think that I'm a freak
PS C:\Users\Condor> Sleep 1; $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('afk~');
.. which seems to work like a charm.. alright, perhaps I can entrust PowerShell to do that again after a 900 second delay, which should give me enough time to get that hamburger.
*comes back home*
"Logged out due to 30 minutes of inactivity."
MICROSOFT POWERSHIT, YOU'VE HAD BUT ONE FUCKING JOB!!!!
Well, guess I'll do that no-life 10+h gaming session somewhere next year again then. Thanks Powercunt!21 -
[Little perspective: For the last 7 months I'm working in a certain project.]
[The project is full of unimaginative, non-creative devs with 0 initiative and poor technical background.]
[And they're almost all from one country which you all can figure out.]
[But I'm not going to mention it here because I don't want to come up as a racist]
[So there's US (Europeans) and THEM. 3 of US and about 10 of THEM. And we're doing 90% of all the heavy lifting]
---
Yesterday
---
D (Dev from THEM): Hi S, I have a problem with my task
Me: (sighing) Ok let's have a call
* on the call with D we were checking some stuff loosely related to task *
* code wouldn't get invoked at all for some reason *
* suddenly I realize that even if the code would invoke, D's probably doing everything wrong in it anyway *
Me (thinking): I need to double check something.
Me: I can't help you now, I'll get back to you later.
* call ended *
---
Me: Hey J, I need your help, I need to clarify the work package in my mind, because I am no longer sure.
J (my European TL): Ok, fire away.
* call started *
Me: Is it true that [blahblahblah] and so D's task depends on me completing first my task, or am I losing my mind?
J: That is correct.
Me: Well she's trying to do this in [that] way, which is completely wrong.
J: You see, that's how it is in this project, you do refinements with them, split these work packages to tasks, mention specifically what depends on what and what order should things be taken in, and in some cases all tasks from given user stories should be done by one person entirely... But they do it their way anyway, assign different people to different interdependent tasks, and these people don't even understand the big picture and they try to do the things the way they think they understand them.
Me: It's a fire in a brothel.
J: Yup.
Me: I fucking love this project.
J: (smiling silently)
* call ended *
---
Me: Ok D, you can't do your task because it's dependant on my task.
D: Oh... so what do I do?
Me: I don't know, do something else until I do my task.
---
A (THEIR TL) (Oh, did I forget to mention that there are 2 TLs in this project? THEY have their own. And there are 2 PMs as well.)
A: Hey S, I need to talk
Me: (sighing, getting distracted from work again) Ok let's have a call
* call started *
A: S, we need this entire work package done by Friday EOD.
Me: I can't promise, especially since there are several people working on its several tasks.
A: D's working on hers for 3 days already, and she's stuck. We want you to take over.
Me: (sighing, thinking "great"): Ok.
* call ended *
---
Me: Hey D, A instructed me to take over your task. This is actually going to be easier since you'd have to wait for mine after all.
D: Oh, ok.
---
* I switched the Assigned Person on D's task to myself on Azure *
---
This morning, email from D.
"Hey, I completed my task and it's on [this] branch, what do I do now?"
........................................
Me, hesitating between 2 ways to reply:
(and take note there are people in CC: A, J, P - the last one is THEIR PM)
1) "Hi, Unfortunately you'd still have to wait for my changes because your task is dependent on my task - the column to be changed is in the table that I am introducing and it's not merged to develop branch yet. By the way I already did your task locally, as I was instructed to do it, I'm wrapping things up now."
(y'know: the response which is kind, professional, understanding; without a slight bit of impatience)
2) WHAT FUCKING PART OF "DON'T DO THIS I WILL FUCKING DO IT MYSELF GO HOME JUST GO HOME" YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND4 -
Tech support for Friend...
Again...
Ok...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
tl;dr
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...3 -
I was getting a freelancer job to do some backend work for a company in India that is working for a huge company in Saudi Arabia.
The customer in india was my primary contact, I wasn't allowed to talk to the guys in Saudi Arabia. My contact, we'll call him Aman, asks if i can do frontend too. I decline. Now what follows were 4 weeks of backend work during which Aman called me 10-15 times per day via skype to ask me how I was progressing, and if "insert spec here" was already done. He even called me in the middle of the night, well aware of the different time zones.
But in the end all the work is done, Aman is happy. I request payment.
Aman: We can't pay you yet, you didn't do the frontend!
Me: I'm not doing frontend.
Aman: It's just a few simple changes and then we're done.
Me: Gnnn, fuck it, what do you need?
Aman: Our customer would like the frontend to look better.
Me: Ok, so what exactly should look better?
Aman: All of it.
Me: Do you have any specs?
Aman: No just make it look more modern.
Me: So you want me to rework the whole frontend? That's not just a few simple changes...
Aman: How long would you need?
Me: I actually don't do that kind of work.
Aman: We pay you double your hourly rate if you do this and finish it fast.
(This is were I should have just said no... but the greed...)
Me: Ok, but it will take me about 3 weeks to do that.
Aman: OK.
Me: Do you have any preferences as to how it should look?
Aman: No, just surprise us.
(After this sentence I really should have gotten the hell out of Dodge)
After working 3 weeks changing over 20.000 lines of CSS and most of the HTML I present Aman with the changes.
Aman: No our customer doesn't like the changes. Can you make a different version?
Me: What doesn't he like, any specifics, coloring, styling of lists or the buttons?
Aman: He doesn't like the whole thing. Please make us another version.
Me: Ok, you are the customer, but it would really help if you give me some pointers as to how it should look like.
Aman: Just do your best.
Me: ..., ok, that's helpful.
2 weeks later...
Aman: No our customer liked the version before better. But could you make it look more modern.
Me: *Bangs head against wall repeatedly*
Me: What do you mean by modern?
Aman: It should look more modern, as a whole.
Me: Ok, I get that, but could you give me an example?
Aman: Sends me a screenshot of the overview screen with all the elements encircled and modern written beside them.
1 week later...
Aman: The customer has decided, he likes the original version best. Can you undo all the changes?
Me: Sure but that'll take like 1 hour.
Aman: Oh by the way we were asked by accounting why the price for this project was so high?
Me: *hugh* *gnn* what?
Aman: Well at the beginning, you estimated the backend and frontend work to be done in 4 weeks.
Me: The frontend was never part of the original estimate.
Aman: Can you do anything concerning your hourly rate, so that we can get back to the original pricing.
Me: *make a mental note to never work with an intermediary company in india again and cancels the job requesting the due payment*
Luckily I got paid the full amount but not before having another 10 Skype call with Aman...17 -
Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.
Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.10 -
Was having a hard time completing a project given to me on my Internship.
After a long time I heavy heartedly thought to ask my question on StackOverflow and this happened
Me : How can I do this??
Asshole User : Sorry mate, but what you are trying to do is impossible
Me : "Shows that it can be done"
Asshole User : Downvotes my question and deletes his comment
Me : 😐😐😐
Now my question has 3 more downvotes
Never using SO again !!5 -
My conversation with a recruiter today.
Recruiter: we have looked through your profile and we are very interested in your experience and projects you have been working on we are keen to process your application please send us your resume asap.
Me: sure thing * sends CV.
Recruiter: oh yeah your not what we are looking for.
Me: Oh no problem you sound like a great recruitment agency.
Recruiter: what do you mean?
Me : so you "looked at my profile" which has all the information identical to my resume for a job which requires 10 years worth of experience in a software which was only released 6 months ago. Why don't you learn to ride a bike and then in 10 years time. Ride a hover bike first time without falling off and I will assess wherever or not you have the experience on first glance. Don't waste my time again.
Mother Fuckers!
Needless to say I did not get a reply 😂18 -
Guy: - "Your restart script doesn't work."
Me: - "What do you mean?"
Guy: - "It does nothing."
Me: - "It should kill every processes that's running within the project and start them again. Wait... Why do you terminate it?"
Guy: - "I don't. It just stops."
Me: - "It says `Terminated` here. You killed it. Just let it do it's job, don't kill it."
Guy: - "I'm not killing it! It just stops!"
(...two hours later...)
Me: - "Wait... Where do you run it from?"
Guy: - "What do you mean? I just run the script you gave me."
Me: - "Yeah, but where do you run it from? Where did you put it?"
Guy: - "It's part of the project so I put it in the project, d'oh!"11 -
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
So, as a programmer, I'm basically the go-to tech support guy for my family (and now my gf's family).
So, my gf's mum updated windows and her computer stopped playing around through headphones, asks me for help.
I've got no fucking idea, I don't even use windows.
She's like "if your computer did this what would you do".
"I'd google the problem and randomly try solutions until it started working again. And hope I didnt break anything else."
She didn't seem happy with my debugging technique...13 -
What is going on with the web these days? 500 adds, 3 auto play video's per page and now this shit?!
Websites that do this should be removed from Google.
I don't think it's even allowed.
If you block it, it goes to a subdomain 1.<website> and asks for permission again. If you block that one it'll go to 2.<website>, up until 10.<website>, then it switches to either a "get Express VPN" or another website that asks for permission. And that one even claims to be reCAPTCHA! and then another that asks you to press "Allow" in order to watch the video. What video?!21 -
Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!
tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.8 -
A true story.
"Ok you did a very good job during these 3 months, so we think you can go on with us."
"Thanks, so how about the final contract?"
"What? oh no eheh, you will do other 3 months as test because we want to see if you can do also other stuff not only as developer, we need that you act also like a secretary, a tester, a manager, and working again for home after work, and also during the weekend, but we can't pay extra work of course. So, what you think?"
The magic world of startups5 -
When you get to 12pm (lunch time) and you've already been in 7 back to back meetings and no longer know what you were going to actually attempt to do today.
Listen kids, don't become the senior dev, you'll never work an hour in your day again!
#iJustWantToFuckingCodeToday!6 -
Real fact: 1999
IT: IT, how can I help?
MrB: I'm Butcheek. This program is shit, I can't even log-in!
IT: oh.. Ok Mr. Butcheek, let’s see if I can help...
MrB: of course you can: fix this shitty program and made me log in!
IT: I’ll try to do my best to assist you, can you...
MrB: I just want to log in! Can you speak my language? This new program is ridiculous, I wonder why you IT guys changed the old one, it was a mess but at least I could log in...
IT: I'm sorry you are experiencing this problem, but to assist you I need to know exactly what's the problem
MrB: I CANT LOG IN!!!
IT: ok, I understand this, but can you please provide some more information? Do you receive any particular error messages?
MrB: it says “wrong password” but it's not true!
IT: Ok, that's strange. Look, I'm resetting your password and then you will try again. At the first log in you will be asked to change it again, ok?
MrB: just be quick, I can't waste any more time on this!
IT: sure... Ok done. Please, can you try again? The password is “butcheek”
MrB: it asks for the username. What am I supposed to write here?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB: oh... Ok. And what's the password?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB:... No... Wait... Ok, “butcheek” is the password but what's the username?
IT: “butcheek”!
MrB: you don't understand, I have to put both username AND password!
IT: I know! “butcheek”! For both username AND password!
MrB: so I have to write “butcheek”-”butcheek”?
IT: yes, “butcheek”-”butcheek”!
MrB: so... “butcheek”...twice? Sounds weird... are you sure?
IT: yes I'm sure! However, you can choose either to write “butcheek” twice or “ASS” once, if you prefer...4 -
How to profesionally say: you fucking illiterate and incompetent piece of shit, I am tired of spoonfeeding you because you dont use your fucking brain. I am fucking tired of explaining same concept over and over again for the past 2-3 months. Open fucking google for once and lookup latest practices, and learn what functional programming is and learn how to use operators instead of fucking inventing wheel again and again with your 100 lines boilerplate of code functions. Open your fucking mind for once and lookup stuff for yourself, instead of asking me to explain everything for the 100th time you lazy fuck. Oh and stop asking me "to be nice", this is gaslightling. I am being professional and I am the only person in this company who actually tolerates u on some level, others are just avoiding you you useless piece of shit. If I need to explain something for 5th time and I make you feel bad, it means you should feel bad. So maybe grow some balls and start putting in some effort, instead of playing the victim when you are the supposed 6 year senior and I am the 3 year junior, who has to do your fucking job half of the time. You are incapable of even using the standard architecture, what you use is fucking 6-7 years old. Fucking code monkey with broken english who doesnt understand what hes doing. You dont like my methods? I dare you to schedule an appointment between me and manager or your useless techlead, but I know you wont do that because I know you are afraid of everyone finding out how incompetent you are. You low fruit hanging task licking incompetent shit.1
-
Do you ever open devRant, read a little, and then exit the app to find something else to do. Then open the app immediately again, because that's what you do when you want something to do?5
-
Thanks again devRant, @dfox and @tragus.
Those stickers are amazing.
Hope to get the stress ball one day too.
Btw @dfox what do you mean with +1’s here? 500 +1's on a single rant for a ball4 -
Them: "What can we do to fix this?"
Me: Contact the vendor
Them: Ok, but from our side?
Me: Wait for the vendor to reply
Them: And what can we do to prevent this from happening again?
Me: get better vendors, include I.T on the process when the org decides to purchase shitty third party software.
Them: Ok but besides that?
Me: Drink?
Seriously tho, tf you expect me to do?5 -
Some of the penguin's finest insults (Some are by me, some are by others):
Disclaimer: We all make mistakes and I typically don't give people that kind of treatment, but sometimes, when someone is really thick, arrogant or just plain stupid, the aid of the verbal sledgehammer is neccessary.
"Yeah, you do that. And once you fucked it up, you'll go get me a coffee while I fix your shit again."
"Don't add me on Facebook or anything... Because if any of your shitty code is leaked, ever, I want to be able to plausibly deny knowing you instead of doing Seppuku."
"Yep, and that's the point where some dumbass script kiddie will come, see your fuckup and turn your nice little shop into a less nice but probably rather popular porn/phishing/malware source. I'll keep some of it for you if it's good."
"I really love working with professionals. But what the fuck are YOU doing here?"
"I have NO idea what your code intended to do - but that's the first time I saw RCE and SQLi in the same piece of SHIT! Thanks for saving me the hassle."
"If you think XSS is a feature, maybe you should be cleaning our shitter instead of writing our code?"
"Dude, do I look like I have blue hair, overweight and a tumblr account? If you want someone who'd rather lie to your face than insult you, go see HR or the catholics or something."
"The only reason for me NOT to support you getting fired would be if I was getting paid per bug found!"
"Go fdisk yourself!"
"You know, I doubt the one braincell you have can ping localhost and get a response." (That one's inspired by the BOFH).
"I say we move you to the blockchain. I'd volunteer to do the cutting." (A marketing dweeb suggested to move all our (confidential) customer data to the "blockchain").
"Look, I don't say you suck as a developer, but if you were this competent as a gardener, I'd be the first one to give you a hedgetrimmer and some space and just let evolution do its thing."
"Yeah, go fetch me a unicorn while you're chasing pink elephants."
"Can you please get as high as you were when this time estimate come up? I'd love to see you overdose."
"Fuck you all, I'm a creationist from now on. This guy's so dumb, there's literally no explanation how he could evolve. Sorry Darwin."
"You know, just ignore the bloodstain that I'll put on the wall by banging my head against it once you're gone."2 -
I recently received a 1 star review in the App Store. I have answered him twice to ask about which issues he had and what features were missing to him.
He responded really aggressively by posting this:
I purchased this app for my Sonos and found it very simple for an app I had to pay for. I gave it a 1 star and wrote why. Since then the designer has contacted me twice complaining about my review. Sorry, but I am entitled to my opinion and I want you to stop harrassing me because I think your app is basic and doesn't always work right.
DO NOT WRITE ME AGAIN. Suck it up and let me have my own opinion for what I paid for. If you don't like it, make the app free in exchange for 5 ego stars.7 -
So, you ask me for a quote. You know nothing about the technology or the problem, but you think the quote is too high.
On what fucking basis are you assessing the quote? On the number of words? Font? Whether your spouse/cat hates you (both do). Basically, whatever I said, you'd have said it was too high, right?
Fuckwit.
Next time *you* tell *me* how much you have to spend and I'll tell you what you can get for your budget.
Maybe a coffee and a small cake.
Don't fucking call me again.2 -
Coworker: We you have to estimate these tasks.
Me (thinking): This task should take one day, but I'll add 4 hours in case something unexpected happens again.
* Estimates 12h
Coworker: Alright, the tasks for this sprint have been selected. Please start to work on them.
Me: * Starts working on certain task
* Sees time available for task
2d 4h (=20h)
* Writes coworker
Dude, that much time is overkill for that task!
Coworker: Yeah, the client said something similar.
Me: Then why did you estimate it that high?
Coworker: 🤷♂️
Me: Ok, what am I gonna do with all that extra time? 😑
Coworker: 🤷♂️
Thanks mate.
Around 4 hours in and almost done. What should I do with that extra time?
Task in question: Add a mutually exclusive field to a database table, add it to the form, test it and update the docs.
Enjoy the unrelated, clickbait cat13 -
Is the software at your company so bad that it's a miracle that anything works?
Does it feel like this colossal pile of broken electronics from the past 30 years duct taped together and patched with multiple tiers of adapters, wires spliced together with scotch tape, and someone on stand by with a fire extinguisher?
Do you feel like getting your product to work is like how we used to get things to work back in the eighties? Not just turning things off and on again, but things like hitting the tv to make it work again, blowing into cartridges, and the feeling of pulling on the starting cord on a gas powered mower over and over again to no avail?
That is exactly what my company's codebase is. A huge amorphous, heterogenous pile of shit that somehow works and occasionally has to be massaged to make it work again. Fuck my life.3 -
brain: ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION too much ABSTRACTION!
me: jeez calm down a lil i just deployed a boilerplate ember web app with cli tools with next to nothing amount of 'my' code.
b: YES U SUCKER THAT'S WHAT WENT WRONG U DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE LIL STUFF THAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE SCENES THE FUCK MAN U CALL YOURSELF A CS STUDENT YOU CAN'T EVEN WRITE A COMPILER YET
m: sooo remember when we were studying logic gates and binary conversions and you sigkilled all my threads cuz it was 'boring'?
b: why yes why do you ask
m: WELL that's where we'll end up again if you don't stop nagging me about going down. Trust me, I KNOW how to starve you and you'll beg me to use Python again. You start making advanced data structures in C and the next thing you know you're writing assembly code 'just for fun'.
I have a hackathon coming right up and I have to use a framework or my team loses the advantage. Are we good?
b: well if you put it that way...BUT AFTER THAT YOU'RE TAKING ME TO AN ALGORITHM SESSION
m: *eerily stares at the dusty book in the corner*
you... have a deal3 -
Has it ever happened to anyone that you get hired as a backend java developer without going through any sort of evaluation and for some reason you start getting only design/frontend tasks and you politely complain but the dickhead says "well you should be able to do everything, and I want it before tomorrow" but you kind of need the money so "what the hell" and a couple days later you fully remember again how much you hate spending a whole day trying to get a bloody bar sticked to the bottom of the page while some dickass hits your slack and whatssapp with the nerving "where are my screens?" and start thinking "...do I really need to eat this month..." but anyways you make your research and ask for help and stop sleeping and do as much as you can to get the sh*t done and please the dickhead because you want his money?
...Anyone?
...No?
...Just me?
...Oh well, have a nice day/evening6 -
Isn't it just nice to throw away hours of work because you were given wrong requirements?
I worked late last night to finish a project with an incoming deadline, and for what? That's right, for fucking nothing. Hours wasted. Just because I was told the form was to be submitted to an endpoint that I would receive later on.
Turns out that what I actually need to do is embed some form from a third-party service. So the form that I already implemented (with styles and logic) isn't needed. What's worst, I have to redo all the styles to match this embed form.
Thank you so much for that. 🖕Never again will I work late. I should have known better by now... -
meeting with PM, 1:1
me: well, to be honest, i think there is also some room for improvement concerning communication in our meetings. the discussion culture in our meetings could be more open.
PM: what do you mean? i don't know what you're talking about.
me: well, i feel sometimes that in meetings, you overly challenge what colleagues suggest. on the other hand, it's really hard to argue against what you are saying. what you say is often like engraved into stone and it is hard to argue against that, but the next day you might have changed your mind again and then things are different, but engraved into stone again.
PM: hmm. can you give me some more concrete example?
me: well... (gives some examples) it's just that it would be nice if you would listen more to what people say in meetings and try to understand what they actually mean or want to say, instead of saying "nah, that's not how we do it" or "no, that's wrong"... just.. well, have more trust in our skills, try to find out what people mean before you discard what you think they said... a bit more of appreciation and openness.
PM: oh, i can tell you, i'm the MOST open manager in this whole company.
me: ...
PM: but anyway, i will think about it.
me: well... okay. also i see there are some challenges within our team concerning intercultural communication. i mean, communication between Germans and Indians is in general a bit problematic in our company, and maybe it is a good idea to have some workshop together concerning intercultural competences... i think we could benefit from that. (what i actually meant is, these problems exist, but currently i see them more on his side or between him and Indian colleagues, because e.g. he tends to harshly criticize people in daily standups, and if we "direct" Germans already feel affronted by his behavior, how must Indian guys feel about it? in fact, 2 Indian devs already left the project. also communication doesn't really work well, in a way that there's often a great mismatch between his expectations and what Indian devs actually think they have to do)
PM: i can tell you, i really understand our Indian colleagues, i really know how to work with them. also, their working style has greatly improved since project start. (which doesn't feel quite right after he totally ripped apart the work of one guy in the last sprint review meeting)
of course, that's not the whole conversation, but it's kind of a symptomatic example for the whole situation...11 -
TL,DR;
Did I mentioned that I hate 1&1?
I host my website there, a small-not-much-visited one. And it works great. But I also have internet connection at home - with 1&1. And it freaking sucks, it always did but that's partly cause of our unlucky position in the country. But why the flying fuck would it completely break sometimes in the meantime the last 20 days. There's a map in the internet showing places where popele have trouble with 1&1. The last two or three weeks germany completely red! Just sometimes out of nowhere the upload is practically zero. And then again, after a hour or a few restarts, it works again. A bit. WHAT THE FUCK MARCEL D'VIS? What did I do to you?!18 -
I have been working 9 months as consultant for a company thru a vendor. The contract will finish in two weeks, the company want to continue working with me, I can't be hired directly, should be thru a vendor. The problem is that today I confirmed that this vendor bill the company the double and want me to sign again with them for the same rate, I can't switch to another vendor because there is a non-compete clause. What would you do in my case? I feel like that squirrel12
-
Got a client who Always delays payment (~2weeks) and is rude and ignores me after I deliver. As a freelancer and Student I rely on the money and on my time. So I will deliver tomorrow the next project, guy promised he will pay on monday, but I count with weeks again. I have developed a locking mechanism so I can lock the whole Software from my Cloud in case he wont pay on time. What do you guys think?19
-
So I Bought this bio metric pad lock for my daughter. She excitedly tried to set it up without following the directions( they actually have good directions on line) first thing you do is set the "master print" she buggered that up setting her print. So when I got home I was thinking, no problem I'll just do a reset and then we cant start again.
NOPE !!! you only have one chance to set the master print! after that if you want to reset the thing you need to use the master print along with a physical key that comes with it.
What sort if Moron designs hardware / software that is unable to be reset. Imagine how much fun it would be if once you set your router admin password it was permanent unless you can long back in to change it. Yea nobody has ever forgotten a password.
Well they are about to learn a valuable financial lesson about how user friendly design will influence your bottom line. people (me) will just return the lock to the store where they bought it, and it will have to be shipped back to the factory and will be very expensive for them paying for all of the shipping to and from and resetting and repackaging of the locks and finally shipping again to another store. Meanwhile I'll keep getting new locks until at no cost until she gets it right.
poor design34 -
"An error has occurred. Please try again."
WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ERROR? WHY CANT YOU TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THE ERROR YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT.
I shouldn't need to submit a form 23 fucking times, changing field values each time, because of an uninformative fucking error message.3 -
As you start managing people, you understand why you read job listings requiring attributes like "Passionate about creating things" or anything like that.
When you see people not proactive and just lazy in a group, and you let them in, it's really disappointing. It makes you feel like you have to put everyone out, do it all again with new people, and pay attention to what gave them away the first time but you didn't know yet.
Next time I'm gonna look for people "passionate" about what they do and "interested in making great projects".7 -
Boss: "What have you told the client yesterday?"
Me: "Project progression and..... money?"
Boss: "Don't do that again. We will deal with them about that later, just tell them something technical that they will not understand."
Me: "??W????T?????F???"2 -
On the phone.
Them: "So we do X and Y and Z... can you try again?"
Me: "Yup. Still getting max retries error"
Them: "You know what, let me restart the server"
Me: "Whatever you did it worked. API is back online"
Them: "You're kidding me right?"
Took us 4 hours to restart a server.1 -
Send over the entire directory for a WordPress site we completely overhauled with new plugins, custom theme, redid content with visual composer, etc. I tell him to backup his site and then put everything I give you as fresh. He tells me he can't just wipe out his entire site that's unacceptable. I ask him what's the problem? he rambles on and says a lot of words that don't really mean anything then says security. so I call him out on it, what security issues do you have? well we have users and permissions setup he says. I explain That I copied his users table over when we did the redesign, so it's the exact same stuff. so I say again, why can't we just replace everything? well that's just not acceptable he says. I ask him again, what EXACTLY is your problem with replacing the site since I already addressed your security concern. he couldn't answer me so now we have another conference call tomorrow morning with more people from their team. I'll let you know how it goes.
tldr; clients are idiots, call them out for the dumb shit they say and have no response.7 -
Fuck chromium devs and their hate for linux. Piece of shit
https://bugs.chromium.org/p/...
TL;DR
Screen share with audio is broken under chromium, because some user didn't want the desktop audio appear when asking for input devices, when there's no microphone available.
The thread doesn't mention a specific cause for this besides "for some reason pulseaudio does this"
So what did the gigabrains working on chromium decide to do? Not list monitors (basically recording devices for on desktop audio) at all.
Why?
* UI is hard
* Because we say so
* Fuck standards
And they only do that on linux. Windows, which uses a similar concept works just fine. Mac? Yeah, just hacked it in. Linux? GL won't fix
Meanwhile they decide to add all shits of non standard, bug causing events for shits and giggles, but when you actually want to resolve issues you're met with silence and arrogance.
Once again, what a piece of shit. Chromium devs must love making things worse with every passing version7 -
Another day, another client story.
So today the client is sending me the text for the website, and after 15(!!!) iterations, add a period, center the text, justify the text, center it again etc.
Me: Can you please create a word document, design it as you like, and I will copy that to HTML for you?
Him: But if I do all the work what am I paying you for?
Me: To listen to you ...3 -
Client : We want to develop this particular software. While developing it, we will be following Agile methodology.
Developers: Sure.
After developer achieves few features and decides to give 1st Demo of the software to the client.
Client : Wtf is this? This is an incomplete software, there are bugs in it.
Developer : Yes, you point that out to me and I will solve them.
Client: What do you mean point them out for you l, couldn't you do it yourself?
Developer: As a standard method, we often do unit tests, but we are not testers and with a strict deadline to match, we are more on the core implementation then checking again and again for minor bugs.
Client : I thought it would be a full proof software without any bugs in the 1st demo.
Developer : Software development is a process. It's not straightforward, hence you only mentioned at the initial, it's agile.
Client : If that's so, let's make it not agile and make you rot in hell for the next few fays. Now you next time show me a demo with no bugs, great complicated features and we will not mention you our expectations, predict them by yourselves, and most importantly, here's an impractical strict deadline.4 -
Why does MS need to be such a scumbag with Windows updates?
Every now and then, this unskipable blue setup screen appears and forces the user to make some decisions.
"Do you want to set Edge as the default browser?"
"Do you want a 360 subscription?"
The usual crap.
But it‘s not skippable!
You have to make a decision and the UI for "fuck off" is different for every decision.
You can‘t just press the Nope button every time.
It‘s fucking deliberate. They want you to spend time on reading their shit and force it down your throat.
And let‘s not forget about people who don‘t know computer stuff very well and are confused by this. Then call us because "the computer isn‘t working again."
And you can‘t tell them to skip this slimy rotten vomit of a marketing weasel because you need them to tell you what the options are for each fucking decision screen.
😫17 -
A quick update to a previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1336393/...
(If you haven’t read it yet, please do, because otherwise you won’t know what I’m talking about.)
So I got the laptop of my classmate working. I connected to my PC remotely because the laptop is way too slow. Everything was working perfectly and I was finally working on the app. But then it happened, I clicked on chrome and for some reason the laptop started to go crazy. The screen was all blocky/pixelated and I couldn’t do anything. I called someone from the ICT department at my school and he said he couldn’t fix it (probably because he didn’t know what to do or what was going on). So now the laptop is broken and I’m can start all over again. So I’m stuck, again. And my school doesn’t want to do anything about it. The worst thing is that my classmate needs to explain to his parents why his laptop broke. I hope I can get working again soon. I just don’t know what to do now.5 -
Happened to me - an experienced dev with most of the experience on the web.
I apply to this company that I had no idea what they do (big mistake on my part). I ace the technical interview, and they follow up with a request for a presentation on a topic, to see how well I can prove a point or understand a technology. So I do that. Everybody is listening carefully. Most people at the office didn't know the basics of what I was talking about, but there was a guy who knew more and asked the tough questions, but I didn't let down.
So we talk again, and again, and all is going well, we're out for a coffee, talk about the future of my career and the company, in a more casual setting. Got to know the CTO, etc. Everything was going stellar.
I was waiting for the offer, but instead I got a generic "We can't continue with your application" together with a notification that I was being blocked by the contact person.
Weirdest interview ever. And this thing really put me down and struck at my self-esteem. I mean was it really hard to mention whether you didn't like my expectations, or my skills, or my "fit for the team"? Or at least not block me like that, it's not like I'm gonna stalk you or anything. I still get birthday notifications on Skype from people I've interviewed with before, and I haven't written them since because they have other stuff to take care about, as do I.
Anyway. I got up and started again. New company. High expectations. High salary expectations. Rejection. Fuck.
Ok, start again. 2 companies this time. Both at the same time. Both make me an offer. Have to turn one down. Harder than I had imagined. The choice that I made literally changed my life for the better. I'm glad I didn't end up at any of the other 2 companies that rejected me.
Even experienced people get bad bitter rejections. Don't have high expectations, and that will help you keep your emotions in check, and fight on.2 -
That moment you receive an email: your CI build is failing.
Ok. What went wrong?
Three new commits that do not seem to alter anything related to the failure.
*reverts commits and tries again*
Still failing.
WTF?!
*restarts previous builds*
They now fail too.
FUCK! BASTARD! Are you kidding me?
*investigates*
Turns out that repo of dependency changed and is not compatible anymore.
Argh! Son of bitch! -
Last year in my first lesson of informatics:
Me: “What does return do?”
My teacher: “If you start your program, Windows will pause and run your program. If your program is coming to the end and hits the return statement, your program will stop and Windows will run again.”
wtf
(I already knew the right answer but I wanted to ask him this question.)12 -
Applying for jobs
Apply for anything that looks like I have any kind of shot
Get reply from one company
"Hi. What is your salary expectation?"
"x"
Nothing for 6 days
Reach out again "Hi. I'm guessing you've gone with someone else as I've heard nothing back"
"No your salary expectation was a bit high"
"Okay well, what are you offering"
"47% of X as this is a junior position"
Like...
Firstly, X is what I was making at my last job
Secondly, you can see how much experience I have. You know I'm gonna be asking for 2-3 year money not intern money.
Thirdly, all they had to do after my first email was reply with "That's bit much, here's what we can offer, are you still interested?"
So yea, in general, I hate the salary expectation question. I don't want to sell myself short but I'm also currently in the take what I get position. So if you ask me, I'm gonna tell you what I was last making. I think that was a reasonable number and I know everyone has been hit by the pandemic so I'm not asking for more.
Just advertise jobs with a damn salary range.
You know which jobs do have a salary range? The senior positions. You know who does know how to negotiate? Seniors17 -
This fcktard client that insist on using an iframe and demands support for browsers like IE7. You are costing me years of my life.
Fucking fuck of a Microsoft trying to protect people against tracking from 3d parties in an iframe in random ways in some versions of IE7. Or IE11 in IE7 compatibility mode.
If you are going to refuse sessions just do it! I got a fucking check and fix for that. Because these fuck faces friendly people at Apple like to refuse sessions on iPads and iPhone too. But we worked that out, because they are at least consistent. So a few dirty little hacks made it all Okay.
But no, Boo Hoo I'm Microsoft and I will throw a tantrum. I like my browsers to be like an magican, instead of an usefull piece of software. If you look in this page, or look here we got them. I got your sessions, safe and secure.
But when you need me, to verify that the user is allowed to access data we do a little hocus pocus and now they are gone. Nowhere to be seen or found again. Fun times free fucking magic shows all day long.
It's morning but maybe its time for a bottle of scotch. Maybe if I'm in the state as this browser. Where I don't know what I'm doing because I'm shitfaced drunk it will start working.
When in Rome do as the romans do.6 -
Tomorrow I will be on a long train trip again so here goes!
My last train project is http://jsrant.com and people seem to enjoy it. Every time I am mentioned in a rant related to it people also mention the idea of a similar application but for in the terminal. So I intend to build that tomorrow.
To build the best thing for you I want to ask you some questions:
- What operating system are you running?
- Why (or how) would you like to use a devrant terminal reader?
- Why would you NOT want to use a devrant terminal reader?
- Would your use-case required obfuscated output? (Hiding it from someone)
- If so, what formats do you use on a daily basis or are you most comfortable with?
- Anything else you would like to mention or for me to consider?
I will be developing the larger part of this tomorrow, but the sources will be made available to the public.9 -
You do know that "why do I need you if I can copy-paste code from SO?" joke floating around, right? Today I had a real-life situation perfectly illustrating it.
So I bought a set of parking sensors. Cheap ones, from AliExpress. Prolly the cheapest ones I could find. Installed them w/ engine turned off. All seemed fine. Cleaned it all up, got ready to go, started the engine and beeeep beeep beeepeeeeep beepp ..... beeeeeeeeep.
fuck.
Tried unplugging/replugging them one-by-one to find the faulty one. Nada. Apparently they all were false-alarming. They must all be bad, bcz they seem to work well w/ engine turned off (ignition on) and only false-alarm when engine is on.
Allright, I'll get a new set next weekend, a more expensive one and replace them again.
There goes my €20 and another week basically w/o parking sensors (car length is >5 meters, so sensors do help a lot).
Today I spend a few hours removing my rear bumper again, replacint all the sensors, wiring, etc. Tests show promising results - all sensors seem OK even w/ engine on! Close it all up, start a car again and.... beeep bep bep beeep beeee..eeeeppp.
MOTHER FUCK!
Another 30min-hour goes by while looking for a possible culprit. And I found it. The fix could did not take longer than 5 seconds. Apparently a wire feedint the sensors' controller was too close to sensors' wires. All I had to do is to push that wire a lil further from the controller with my index finger.
I could have saved €30, a week of time, half a day of work if I only knew what wire to [literally] poke.
shit...4 -
Client :
When do you think we can get the website done with?
Me:
Don't worry, I'll get it done in 3 days.
Me after 2 and half days:
<!Doctype Html>
<html>
<head>
<title> Hello, what did you say the website does again? ....4 -
The wage for the publishing company is too low to my liking (see previous rant), has so many asterisks when it comes to payment that it's downright shady, and I'd rather work for a company that follows European standards and is located in Europe anyway. So I've started to look again for sysadmin jobs.
Came across this fucking site, because apparently Glassdoor is down for maintenance (maybe those guys could use another sysadmin as well, hmm? 🤔)
https://totaljobs.com/jobs/...
"5 Linux Systems Administrator jobs in Belgium + 10 miles"
Alright, excellent! Let's see what they are!!!
- Active Directory administrator, wage unspecified.
- Senior VMware administrator, wage unspecified.
- Freelance Windows administrator, wage unspecified.
- Application services PM (i.e. DevOps), freelance, €500/day.
- System applications manager, requirements clearly noting Windows systems but why on Earth would you put that in the title?
Well thank you mate, useless shitsite. Do you see that none of these jobs have anything to do with Linux? Thanks you bastard, totaljobs.com! Time well spent, don't you think? 😑5 -
Fuck GoDaddy man... Paid extra for the privacy feature thinking I wouldn't get harassed by phone. Think again! Got tons of calls from India in two days. What a rip off...
I guess they're selling our info or something...
What service do you guys use? I want to move my domains, any recommendation?19 -
I feel like I've ranted this before. many times. but here we go again because Australia.
why do people think you can just ban math? like really?! that's what crypto laws do. they require companies to use shitty math. and what prevents me from using the good math? nothing! oh I mean... I won't use it? scouts honor.
you can't ban math.
literally billions of internet users don't fall in your jurisdiction.
no single jurisdiction can cover more than a subset of the internet.
I will use whatever maths I damn well please.
fuck off. please stop making us less safe.
/discussion5 -
relative: can you help me with my website?
me: ok, what do you need?
them: okay, i have this wordpress homepage that someone made for me and actually, when you go to my image gallery, i only want a simple "back" button that leads to the main page. but i cannot add it via wordpress functionality.
me: okay, i'll make you this button in under 10 minutes, given it doesn't require any fancy design. but i have no experience with messing with wordpress so far... let me check what their templates look like
(after 1 hour): wtf is this mess 😭
...since they only had their production website, i didn't dare to change anything and told them they best hire that dev again 🙈9 -
Buggered by Xcode AGAIN. The inability of the debugger to do basic debugging relinquishes it to the status of "bugger", relieving it of its "de" title.
Can't show some basic expressions... copied and pasted from the running code
I mean seriously, what do you do if the debugger has more bugs than your project you are trying to analyze?2 -
I am forced to use IDE and Text Editor against my will.
I hate eclipse, but what to do, Salesforce support that IDE only, although VSCode has one plugin for that, but it's not the best,
Why I hate Eclipse you ask?
1. Null pointers
2. No Emmet
3. No Autcomplete
4. Runs like shit on Windows 10 (See my last rant for windows 10)
5. no pretty print extensions/plugins for isml
For my personal projects I am forced to work on Sublime because again VSCode decided to drop
1. Syntax Highlighting
2. Autocomplete
for PHP
(Fuck you for hating php)11 -
Me: hmmmm it's a pain in the ass building my program and having to rebuild it everytime I want to swap to my Chromebook (going from x86 to ARM64), I really wish they could develop an OS that is essentially a VM so you would compile once and have the OS' VM later do the heavy lifting
My brain: hey Alex, that sounds like a great idea, you deserve a coffee for that!
Me: yes I do... Wait... Coffee... Cup of jo... Java.... WAIT! This sounds like what Java was intended to be!!!!!
My brain: oh dear god... Time to fucking bury this thought to never be discussed again!!!!!
What's the lesson to learn here? If it looks like Java, sounds like Java and acts like Java, beat it over the head and bury it 6 feet down :-37 -
Context:
Me, Front-end Developer, Javascript stuff
---
Junior Dev: Hey xxzer0, could you help me with this? I spent the entire day on it and at this point, I think I just broke Chrome.
xxzer0: *---* Okay, let me see.
Junior Dev: Do you see it? I am updating the Javascript code but it's not working at all. The browser is not even loading it... Literally, the code I just wrote is not there.
**
Now be me, be the fucking idiot I was and I have been my whole life, I already knew what was going on because I lost a fucking day on it as this guy.
**
xxzer0: Well, let me see just one thing...
'Open Chrome Dev Tools' -> 'Network' -> 'Disable Cache'.
xxzer0: Now try again...
Junior Dev: What are you..doi........ IT'S WORKING! O.O
Chrome, I love you but sometimes I wish you could make this more "accessible" to newcomers.5 -
> phone has OEM unlock disabled
> phone is vulnerable to like 300 race conditions
> reboot phone, get to menu as fast as possible
> sure enough, what do you fucking know, option is unblocked for a split second if I get to and open the dev settings perfectly
> manage to pull it off again
> SETTING STAYS ON AFTER REBOOTING we have ourselves a winner
it's never this easy, i have yet to check if it has a key or not, will keep you posted, but if this all works this will have been the most retardedly-simple unauthorized bootloader unlock ever5 -
As someone deeply questioning their life and career choices as of now, I wouldn't want to become a dev anymore because:
- you spend most of your time burning your eyes on a monitor and getting terrible back pain
- you might sell your soul to company benefits whose only purpose is to make you distracted from the fact that you're basically spending 1/3 of the day wishing you were doing something you actually want to do
- might have to do some exhausting communication ooga boogas to understand what supervisors and your other colleagues want to say (in a small company setting)
- again, as in my previous rant, if you're not on some less disposable dev position, you could as well become something else given that junior salaries are not that high
- get into an unhealthy work world where little hours of sleep, overworking, and other such unhealthy lifestyles are praised or used to determine your worth
Of course, these differ on a case by case basis. I'd become a train driver or something if I still didn't have to eat and not throw more money at a career change
Life's tough2 -
Making an ssh connection:
No....
No this one.
Not that one.
Not that one, either.
*starts typing*
*Typo 1*
*Typo 2*
Yay. Connected to server.
... Okay. Wrong environment.
*Exiting*
*trying again*
*Typo 1*
*Typo 2*
*finally connected*
Okay. I'm here...
Why did I connect to this machine again?!
------
Migrations are fun. Your bash history is an obsessive lier, your brain completely fried and when you finally managed to achieve something... You either forget what it was - or even worse - you get reminded of all the stuff you still have to do.
I'm literally amazed that I currently manage to go to the toilet, don't forget to make coffee and eat stuff at least once a day.
Before anyone thinks... Haha joke.
Nope I'm dead serious.
I am amazed that I didn't forget to go to the toilet, aka sitting in my own piss and wonder why it's so warm and wet down there.
I'm glad that the migration is going to end soon, otherwise I might opt in out of paranoia for adult diapers.
*My brain is really fried*5 -
So one of my clients had a different company do a penetrationtest on one of my older projects.
So before hand I checked the old project and upgraded a few things on the server. And I thought to myself lets leave something open and see if they will find it.
So I left jquery 1.11.3 in it with a known xss vulnerability in it. Even chrome gives a warning about this issue if you open the audit tab.
Well first round they found that the site was not using a csrf token. And yeah when I build it 8 years ago to my knowledge that was not really a thing yet.
And who is going to make a fake version of this questionair with 200 questions about their farm and then send it to our server again. That's not going to help any hacker because everything that is entered gets checked on the farm again by an inspector. But well csrf is indeed considered the norm so I took an hour out of my day to build one. Because all the ones I found where to complicated for my taste. And added a little extra love by banning any ip that fails the csrf check.
Submitted the new version and asked if I could get a report on what they checked on. Now today few weeks later after hearing nothing yet. I send my client an email asking for the status.
I get a reaction. Everything is perfect now, good job!
In Dutch they said "goed gedaan" but that's like what I say to my puppy when he pisses outside and not in the house. But that might just be me. Not knowing what to do with remarks like that. I'm doing what I'm getting paid for. Saying, good job, your so great, keep up the good work. Are not things I need to hear. It's my job to do it right. I think it feels a bit like somebody clapping for you because you can walk. I'm getting off topic xD
But the xss vulnerability is still there unnoticed, and I still have no report on what they checked. So I have like zero trust in this penetration test.
And after the first round I already mentioned to the security guy in my clients company and my daily contact that they missed things. But they do not seem to care.
Another thing to check of their to do list and reducing their workload. Who cares if it's done well it's no longer their responsibility.
2018 disclaimer: if you can't walk not trying to offend you and I would applaud for you if you could suddenly walk again.2 -
I literally just had this conversation.
H: Me
C: Colleague
C: "Hey Hindsight, I'm having issues with our web print driver, it's not opening the browser after printing"
H: "Have you checked Interactive Mode in the installer so it opens the browser?"
C: "Yes"
H: "Are you sure you have the right domain name in your configuration file? It should be <thing.example.com>"
C: "Ah, it's just example.com. Should I just change it in the config?"
H: "No you need to regenerate the config from our server tool, because the server data needs to match your client config data"
C: "Ok, my config says <example.com>"
H: "Yes, just regenerate the config with <thing.example.com> instead for the domain"
C: "Ok I'll do that. What was the correct domain again?"
H: thinking "Holy shit can you really be that dumb!" but saying "<thing.example.com>"2 -
Master/Slave
Fuck you guys. Honestly most of the rants i've read concerning python and their abolishme t of sait terms where fucking butthurt. "What virgin suggested this", "people shouldn't be offended, it's just a name" and so on.
I do agree with every one saying a name shouldn't matter (readability is a different story! However parent/child or producer/consumer IMHO preserve that). So why are you fucking offended when it is changed to parent/child or produver/consumer? Does it affect you in any way? You know there's the `sed` command, plus IntelliJ (and most other IDEs) have a quite good support for renaming/refactoring stuff.
By reacting this way, by beeing offended all you do is proving the point. Words can offend people. I personally don't care how it's called. So far I always used master/slave and didn't think twice about it. But then again if someone of my coworkers or friends would feel threatened by these words, I try to avoid them. Naming diesn't matter to me, nor the compiler. So fuck, if it makes people happy or feeling save then lets change it.
What the fuck do you gain by sticking to those terms anyways?18 -
'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'
Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.
'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'
Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)
' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'
Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.
What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.
Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!4 -
Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.
X page doesn't work.
Great information there what about the page isn't working?
Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.
If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.
Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.
What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.
If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.4 -
Cannot understand those who are frustrated with it.
Sure, one can feel frustration when some project is not going as they were supposed to go, but that is life for ya, boi.
Without wanting to offend anyone it feels like devs who complain so much either do not actively search for a solution and learn shit properly and cry their soul out afterwards or they do search, but cannot find anything.
Patience is the solution. Do not let yourself fall down and stay strong.
Even if it takes a lot of willpower, retries, inner pain, patience and non-sleepy nights, you will and can do it. I believe in you.
My whole life was basically a psychological disaster.
I have had and still have depression and a lot of short frustrations from time to time, too, but I do not cry it out loud.
My high school is fucked up. In every single aspect. I am doing all-nighters almost every day. With maybe half an hour of sleep to get school projects done on time.
I cannot just say "fuck you. I am not gonna do this shit" to school, because that would affect my grades in a negative way. Same thing applies to you, as an employee, too. But at least you do not need to be afraid of getting bad grades.
Bad grades->not getting the desired degree->bad chance of finding a job
In your case:
Bad communication with boss->bad connection->bad chance of finding a job
But is that really so?
I do not think so. Nonetheless, you still can have a good chance of finding a job, if you have proven yourself to others in a great way. Everyone has bad times. Even with their bosses. That's normal. Being bad with someone does not make yourself bad in general.
The job world will still accept you, but school won't accept you again. Whenever I feel like the burnout is about to catch me, I take an immediate break and go outside. Take a walk in the sunset. Go to the forest. Run with music playing loudly. Swim. And other things like watching the stars in the silence of the night.
To finally come to an end here...
Do not make yourself feel bad that quickly and try to endure the pain. This is going to make you a better and stronger person.
If you cannot do it anymore (hitting the borders of burnout), take your time and do whatever makes you happy and treat yourself.
Life is not all about work. Were you born to be a worker? No. Were you born to be a slave of others? No.
What is holding you then? Let go of all the stress (for a minute). You are free.
You are a great person.
Do not forget that.7 -
Rant
Wtf is Instagram. Seriously how many times do you have to be hit in the head with a fucking shovel to be even moderately amused by that garbage fire. You can't even upload more than ten files at once?! I mean I get server space but fuck me! That shit is goddamn fucking pathetic as fuck. These cock licking cockroaches who find interest in this banal baby vomit green trash are using precious oxygen. Seriously, to upload multiple photos took like twenty minutes. And then they were all wrong because I shot them 4:3. But this is a fucking photo sharing application and crops wrong with 4:3. What the living, breathing, fucking fuck? People actually live with this shit and use this?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! How narcissistic and stupid do you have to be to put with an application that doesn't even fucking run in browser. This was my first time ever attempting this fucking black hole of vapid self destruction. Never again. And fuck people willing to do it.6 -
The day after I delivered a secure programming course to our junior devs.
Junior dev: I can't figure out what's happening when I generate this sql.
Me: what do you mean generating ... It should be a prepared statement..
Junior dev: no I'm just generating the strings from the form
Me: ... Let's try this again.... -
DEPRESSION TRIGGER WARNING
Every once in a while, I feel depressed.
From who am i, where am i questions to what will i do in the future to sustain myself...
But what hits me so hard every single time is what will happen if i die...
So i disappear
From here.
As if i never wake up again from my sleep
It is like
Gone
I don't know how to explain but..
It terrifies me
Think about it
You... Poof!
Gone
From this world
And if you have no kids,well,
Gone. Completely
.......
G.O.N.E.12 -
Recruiter: hey I see you once worked in Utah. Boy do I have the job for you. In Utah.
Me: I no longer live in Utah. In fact I fled Utah 16 months into a 24 month contract because that place sucks. I haven't been back in over two years. So I guess what I am saying is no. I do not want your job offer. Please never contact me again unless it's for 6 figures and I don't have to move.2 -
What is this behavior WFH?
(Video Call)
Boss: When will you send the report?
He: Have already mailed you
Boss: Your voice is breaking...
He: Have already mailed it
Boss: What? I'm asking when can you send the report?
He: Mailed... Already... Check... Inbox...
Boss: Your voice is breaking... Say that again
He: HAVE... MAILED... ALREADY
Boss: It's not ready ?? Just tell me when can you send it to me...
He: Aghh... NEVER.
Boss: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEVER ????
He: ... *Silent*
Boss: ... *Silent*
He: Boss, can't hear you clearly... Your voice is breaking... ;)
Credits: Rahul Subramanian, Standup Comedian.3 -
One Join is fine.
Two Joins I can live with.
Three Joins and we are starting the project from scratch again.
Fuck you! What do I pay you for? Eating berries? No!12 -
It’s been so long since I posted but this time it’s juicy again.
I got a coworker, no prio experience but already a year and few months into the job. He’s bad.
Magnitudes of bad!
We’re trying to teach him but to no avail. Everything about him sucks, major ballsack to be exact.
His attitude is to avoid every task, finishes nothing and then starts something new.
„Did you do X like we told you to?“
„No I started on Y, because I thought it [looks better, seems more interesting, thought that X is useless…]“
When you ask him much is done he is always „almost“ finished and needs your help on the „last 5-10%“. Yeah fuck that!
But that guy has a talent, his talent is to always give you technically correct answers which actually are complete bullshit.
„What are you doing at your job?“
„Staring at a screen and typing things.“ dude what?
That guy used the excuse „I can’t do maths“ on everything.
For an exam he had to calculate how long it would take to reach a certain amount if you would get some interest in that every year.
He asked the teacher for the formula. During the exam! And when the teacher didn’t want to give it to him he wrote plainly „can’t do maths“ on the paper and left
His code is of a quality as if he would write his first line in a week and then has the audacity to blame me and the colleagues for not explaining it right.
Ok you might think now we’re teaching him bad, or are too impatient. But honestly if you have to explain how to do a for loop for over about 15 months and get that attitude I think you get the right to be angry. I don’t mind explaining on how things work, even for the hundredth time, but then don’t tell me you understood, go behind my back, complain at a colleague how bad I explained, get explained by him and then do it again until you whored yourself through the whole staff!
It’s like he got the mind swiper from Men in black at home. Every day he hits the reset button.
He had a week of just changing indentation on a html file. Why? Because he wanted to find his style.
Yeah his style
if(a==b){
console.log(a);
}
else {
console.log(b)
}
And to produce code like that it takes him atleast 4 hours of trial and error.
And at the same time he goes arround and boasts what a super good programmer he his and that he can do some project work for them.
How we found out? Because he started working in those projects during work time at the office and asked us how to do things.
And he does so like a complete bastard!
Broken sql query? “No that query is perfect as it is, it’s supposed to show no results! But, just in theory, if I wanted to show some results, what would I need to change?”
I’m so mad about it and pissed on a personal level because he goes around blames everyone and the world for his short comings5 -
I don't know what you did yesterday, but i did make my company throw away 2 months of progress.
It all started in the beginning, since that i've made numerous complaints about the workflow or code and how to improve it. I've been told off every time, and every time i either told the boss who agreed in the end or wrote code to prove myself. Everything was a hassle and my tasks weren't better.
Team lead: you'll do X now, please do that by making Y.
Me: but Y is insecure, we should do Z.
Team lead: please do Y
Later it turns out Y is impossible and we do Z in the end...
Team lead: please do W now
Me, a few days later: i've tried and their server doesn't give http cors headers, doing W in the browser is impossible
Team lead, a few days later: have you made progress on W?
Me: * tells again it's impossible and uploads code to prove it *
Team lead: * no response *
After that i had enough. Technically i still was assigned to do W, but i used my time to look over the application and list all the things wrong with it. We had everything, giant commits, commented out code, unnecessary packages, a new commit introduced packages that crashed npm install on non-macs, angularjs-packages even though we use angular, weird logic, a security bug, all css in one file even though you can use component-specific css files...
I sent that to my boss, telling him to let the backend-guys have a look at it too and we had a meeting about this. I couldn't attend but they agreed with me completely. They decided to throw away what we have already and to let one of the backend-guys supervise our team. I guess there will be another talk with the team lead, but time will tell.
It feels so good having hope to finally escape this hellish development cycle of badly defined task, bad communication and headache-inducing merges. -
While studying business information technology (useless btw), we had to take these exams with Microsoft Office programs.
When it was time for Excel exam, we were given this sheet of instructions on what to do, and it even listed the exact functions you had to use.
The fun started when I realized that my Windows installation was in English, so my Excel installation was also in English. The instruction sheet and the functions listed in it were in my native language.
Because Excel is probably the shittiest thing ever made, this is the part where you know you are fucked. The functions listed in the instructions don't even exist in the English version (same goes vice versa btw), so what can you do?
You implement the fucking functions. Never used VB before that day, and never will again.
But I got a perfect score.2 -
The reason I liked Captain Marvel, is because it wasn't about defeating something or someone. It was about remembering who you are, picking yourself up, and moving forward with what you've always wanted to do.
This is a similar situation with most designers and developers.
If you watch it again, notice that she was always falling hard. From riding a bike to completing an obstacle course, she would try something and fail.
But she kept trying.
After losing sight of her goals by being distracted and derailed by someone else with another agenda - she was slowly reminded of them, and eventually remembered what she forgot.
Then, not only was she was able to what she originally set out to do - but, ended up doing them better than she ever expected.
If that's not a great story for boys and girls to grow up with - and, for adults to learn from (including some of my peers) - I honestly don't know what is.2 -
[SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED, PLZ HELP]
I am going to school again for like 4 days from tomorrow (don't ask me why, blame the government) and I feel a bit depressed. I just don't know what I have done in the last 2 years.
What I learned:
- Bunch of stupid facts from devRant
- C# stuffs
- Games are expensive
- Music production
And.... that's it, tbh
I don't really have "PERSONAL PROJECTS" that everyone is bragging about, I just have bunch of empty projects with a cool name but just Program.cs in it.....
I am worried of what to do now.
I just feel I made the wrong choice going with C#.
I just feel I should have went with JS.
With JS, you can do
- React Native + Cordova + Titanium + etc and make native android/ios/wp apps
- The WWW stuffs
- Electron --> Cross platform desktop apps (win/mac/linux)
- UnityScript (deprecated, but whatever) --> Games
So, what I am seeing now is a thick fog in the way to my future + career etc.....
I am stuck rn.
Please help.
Should I continue with my pace and learn more C# and the things I do rn, or change the language and start from scratch, or as a last resort, leave the "make stuff by coding" industry and go to music industry, or just go to the airport and do planespotting and upload in youtube to earn money?
Serious advice please, and no jokes about C# and JS. These languages may suck, but YOUR language may suck more.10 -
We have the funniest and weirdest conversations during lunch, most of them not dev related. Have been thinking about ranting them for a while now because they are just good fun.
The following one brought a bit of a discussion so It convinced me to post it because i would like to hear all of your opinions about this one:
Imagine that one day you come home and there is a (deep) clone of yourself having sex with your wife, what would you do?
We got divided into 3 groups mostly.
Group one would send him away and let him life his own life.
Group two would make use of the fact that there are 2 of them.
Group three would murder him, the explanation Why Was quite interesting, because it was the first instinct of them, it would also have been from the clone, that's why that had to.
Again I would like to hear what you all would do :)
Maybe if this one does okay I will post more stories11 -
You know, I really like my Redmi 4x. It's a nice and inexpensive phone and perfect for me. Now I wanted to get the most out of my phone by rooting it, which was going to be easy.
I thought. And lord almighty was I wrong.
First of all, to even get to root it you have to unlock the bootloader. To do that you have to use a tool that they've made. Good! An official way to do so would surely be good, I thought. But to actually use the tool you have to be logged in to their service on both the tool and your phone. Then, and get this, you have to submit a written application as to why you would want to unluck the bootloader.
Ohh but it didn't stop there. I did so and months passed without me getting any info from them what so ever. When trying the tool it would just tell me that they hadn't reviewed my application.
Today I tried again, and something new happened. It told me that I hadn't synced my accounts. Which I promptly did because it's progress.
I tried for what should be the final time, aaaand I get this. This according to the forums means I have to wait 72 hours to be able to do it.
But it's progress, right?
Uuugggghhhh8 -
Do you know what angers me more than anything else ?
Wasted potential. Thats what. That there are people out there that look at their bank account and see a large number and spend large amounts of time finding ways to push people down during sensitive times where they could be learning and growing and have the right attitude and energy to do so, just because it makes their horrible selves feel secure knowing how 'superior' daddy made them, not to mention likely factories filled with half naked Chinese kids sewing shoes and soccer balls and separating out precious metals with blow torches.
I cannot help but think about this again as I'm frustrated that I had to relearn something just now which created more questions which I once everything is dashed to pieces again I won't think to or know to look into, if the information even exists, all so some easily duped younger people can form the next generation of well... us, and fall for the same tricks while I feel like I'm falling behind.4 -
Wow what an eloquent detailed explanation. Thank you for clarifying what the problem is. Now i know exactly what i have to do. You F U C K I N G TRASH LOWEST PILE OD GARBAGE OF HUMAN WASTE CORPORATION HOW ARE YOU NOT FUCKINGGGGGGGG BANKRUPT YOU FUCKING CANCEROUS SHITHOLE FUCKING ASSLICKERS FKKKKKINGGGGG GAYPAL FUCKKKKK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I HOPE YOUR FAMILIES DIE IN CAR CRASHES WHOEVER IS RUNNING GAYPAL
MY FUCKING MONEY IS STUCK IN THIS FUCKING PILE OF TRASH HOLE CALLED GAYPAL AND I CANT FUCKING GET IT OUT. ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL GAYPAL BLOCKS MY ACCOUNT FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND STEALS MY MONEY, LEGALLY????!!!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN24 -
Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.
These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.
Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.rant project management incompetent fucks project management fail last minute changes project managers1 -
QMS admin: you only finished the code review, you didn't complete it!
Me: opens review clicks complete
QMS: you didn't export the code review comments!
Me: opens code review again. Clicks Export. Attaches *.txt
QMS: you exported the comments in the wrong format, I can't read them
Me: what is the right format?
QMS: SOP document <random alphanumeric> clearly states the format
Me: spends 20 minutes navigating the piece of crap QMS software with no search function folder by folder.
Finds document.
It's 120 pages and 4 years old.
On page 68, I find "template to be implemented"
Reply to QMS, that document doesn't actually give a reference to a template
QMS: Email my line manager "Please teach your staff how to do a code review"3 -
MENTORS - MY STORY (Part III)
The next mentor is my former boss in the previous company I worked.
3.- Manager DJ.
Soon after I joined the company, Manager E.A. left and it was crushing. The next in line joined as a temporal replacement; he was no good.
Like a year later, they hired Manager DJ, a bit older than EA, huge experience with international companies and a a very smart person.
His most valuable characteristic? His ability to listen. He would let you speak and explain everything and he would be there, listening and learning from you.
That humility was impressive for me, because this guy had a lot of experience, yes, but he understood that he was the new guy and he needed to learn what was the current scenario before he could twist anything. Impressive.
We bonded because I was technical lead of one of the dev teams, and he trusted me which I value a lot. He'd ask me my opinion from time to time regarding important decisions. Even if he wouldn't take my advice, he valued the opinion of the developers and that made me trust him a lot.
From him I learned that, no matter how much experience you have in one field, you can always learn from others and if you're new, the best you can do is sit silently and listen, waiting for your moment to step up when necessary, and that could take weeks or months.
The other thing I learned from him was courage.
See, we were a company A formed of the join of three other companies (a, b, c) and we were part of a major group of companies (P)
(a, b and c) used the enterprise system we developed, but internally the system was a bit chaotic, lots of bad practices and very unstable. But it was like that because those were the rules set by company P.
DJ talked to me
- DJ: Hey, what do you think we should do to fix all the problems we have?
- Me: Well, if it were up to me, we'd apply a complete refactoring of the system. Re-engineering the core and reconstruct all modules using a modular structure. It's A LOT of work, A LOT, but it'd be the way.
- DJ: ...
- DJ: What about the guidelines of P?
- Me: Those guidelines are obsolete, and we'd probably go against them. I know it's crazy but you asked me.
Some time later, we talked about it again, and again, and again until one day.
- DJ: Let's do it. Take these 4 developers with you, I rented other office away from here so nobody will bother you with anything else, this will be a semi-secret project. Present me a methodology plan, and a rough estimation. Let's work with weekly advances, and if in three months we have something good, we continue that road, tear everything apart and implement the solution you guys develop.
- Me: Really? That's impressive! What about P?
- DJ: I'll handle them.
The guy would battle to defend us and our work. And we were extremely motivated. We did revolutionize the development processes we had. We reconstructed the entire system and the results were excellent.
I left the company when we were in the last quarter of the development but I'm proud because they're still using our solution and even P took our approach.
Having the courage of going against everyone in order to do the right thing and to do things right was an impressive demonstration of self confidence, intelligence and balls.
DJ and I talk every now and then. I appreciate him a lot.
Thank you DJ for your lessons and your trust.
Part I:
https://devrant.com/rants/1483428/...
Part II:
https://devrant.com/rants/1483875/...1 -
If you don't know what clearing cache does to the state of the fatherfucking app then why do you fucking clear it? It fucking breaks the flow. Your maggot-infested ass is then coming up with his own explanation why you cleared the fucking cache. If you don't even have a cunt of an idea why we use the app's local storage, why do you fucking do it? You neanderthal rotten piece of sun-baked shit.
Hey, the app was taking to much time to send the request, so I cleared the app data. Now I have to login again and start over. Maybe check your fucking internet connection?
Fuck you. Fuck your cunt of a face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKING FUCK YOU.3 -
@dfox
What does it take to give us some hope the spam around here can be controlled or removed by some power users?
Shit is getting out of control!
I'm pretty sure my ability to -- has been revoked again so that's no longer an option.
Reporting spam doesn't seem to do anything either 🤷♂️
https://devrant.com/rants/10381484/...
https://devrant.com/rants/10381472/...
https://devrant.com/rants/10381262/...12 -
Big Brand Company
Wasted 2 days on induction about what to do and how to do.
After 2 days, Reach at workplace and called my line manager (LM). after 2 3 calls, he pick the phone and said please reach to 3.2L5
Now what the heck is this term how the hell I know what means by this magical number. It was never told in the induction that what building name is denoted with.
Called LM again and now LM annoyed at me and said to enter into building and ask for XYZ person ..I asked whom I need to ask..He said ask anybody..
When I enter I ask a security guard there and he was like numb...There are fucking 5000 people in the company.How someone will know by name..Is that guy is superstar or something?
Again called the LM, Now he yelled at me. ..Why you are asking the security guard ..I said he do not allow me to enter so what I need to do..I requst him to please guide me as I am new and nervous here..
Again no luck ..Asked already 4 to 5 people..
Finally one guy who also joined with me, helped me to reach the guy.
LM was actually running late and when he reach, I came near to him 2 greet ans he again shouted with loud voice " What are you doing man"
#firstDay5 -
I once went to a client to get a brief for a website (the twat can't be bothered to write it, so he gets me to do it). I wrote all the details down and fired as many questions as I could. When I got back I wrote up the notes into a brief and sent it back to check before I costed it. He said it was spot on, so I sent an estimate. A few days later he must have shown it to another director, they both call me on speaker phone. Them: Will it do this, will it do that? Me: "It" doesn't exist, if you want to add some requirements then write or extend the brief and I will re-cost it.
They ignored that and rang a little later. Them: We have been discussing it, will it do .... and will it do.... Me: I repeated what I had said earlier, but my tone of voice had changed to reflect my annoyance. I never heard from these pathetic twats again. Moral: I always do background checks on a company, as well as accounts and financials check it's good to tap in to your network of colleagues, designers, freelancers. It can set the alarm bells going long before you commit any time. -
Me: Bluetooth not connecting to headphones, turn off and on again
Bluetooth mouse: Bluetooth is off, now what you want me to do?
I wish this was a joke... Yes, I am that stupid.5 -
Everyone wants faster programs, so doing more optimisations with GCC at -O3 instead of -O2 makes the program quite a bit larger, but... SLOWER. Makes sense, right? Why do you even have -O3 if it generates larger AND slower binaries than -O2?
Ah IC, it's because you use that level only on individual hot functions, not on the full program. How do I do that? Function attribute for optimisation. Cool. Uhm, what is the exact syntax? The fucking GCC documentation doesn't say that. When will devs finally learn to give bloody EXAMPLES?!
Googling around. Ah, with quotes, but without the leading hyphen it seems. Copy/paste. Compile again, tadaa: it's only a little bit but still FUCKING SLOWER than -O2!
GCC's -O3 is like that stupid kid at McD that ate like a damn horse, had to vomit afterwards and was even more hungry than before!13 -
Woke up, worked out, went back to bed. (?? Yeah I'm surprised too) Slept for an hour, woke up again, worked tirelessly and finished the slides. (Not as easy as you think. Had to drag out and undust a few jupyter notebooks again, plus realized that the stupid past me has deleted a bunch of notebooks because of lack of space, and I had to remake one again.)
Now I have to figure out why google slides doesn't like to play my videos, and write my script (don't give me the "don't practice too much" bullshit or "don't need a script". That's for losers. You gotta practice enough that you can cite your presentation even if you got a concussion in the middle of the presentation. Plus, you can modify content in the middle of presentation based on the crowd vibe but you can't do that without knowing your script by heart, can you?) Aaaaaand what was I saying... I forgot... Geez ... Well, wish me luck. This week is gonna be tough. And next week. And probably the week after. Ew.5 -
GIT LOG VERSION 110
---------------
a9c2934 I don't believe it
fb8d2e6 I am Root. We are Root.
6be9078 FINALLY FIXED THE FUCKING BUG IN THE CODE, DO NOT EVER EVER FUCK ME AGAIN YOU MARON
3d08a88 THIS IS THE FUCKING WORKING VERSION
013faed THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, GO TO A PREVIOUS COMMIT
af5d013 We'll figure it out on Monday
49e238b de-misunderestimating
a40351b happy monday _ bleh _
a5f345d Fixed unnecessary bug.
485a26a pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
c4fcbde s/import/include/ -
Holy crap, just started working again on a personal project after a 1-month hiatus... Really struggling to get my head back where it was, I have (almost) no clue what I was doing or why.
Even the commit log and the comments and docs I've left around seem empty somehow.
Any good tips/tools for retracing steps? How do you start working on a codebase you've never touched before?1 -
Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.4 -
To date this is the most useful thing I’ve seen that appears to work whether it does or not I may never know
https://tinyurl.com/6zwn7hb3
What projects has everyone here seen that could be anything from proof of concepts or working applications and libraries that are actually USEFUL/FUNCTIONING not just CONCEPTUALLY useful in ML
Because none of the object classifiers I have seen look useful Half the time they miss things or get things wrong
However this project snakeAi I saw is a self training ml that plays snake until it can’t possibly do better and it works
The link above appears to work and be useful but I betcha it fails on backgrounds that aren’t so solid !
What else have you peoples seen ?
Again -
as an Android dev of a few years, I HATE iOS. Coding on XCode vs Android Studio is a nightmare. The error logs are terrible in comparison to Java. Obj-C is a nightmare. Swift is cool, I'll admit, but I could probably build better interfaces that scale per device on an Etch-A-Sketch. Instead of creating a layout in Interface Builder that worked for all devices (freakin' impossible) I instead opted to save myself some time and get a reference of the constraints and adjust them PER DEVICE. If that's not shitty code practice, I don't know what is. when I code iOS apps I feel like I'm in college again, just doing whatever the hell I can to get a project done with. the problem with mobile dev is that, when you can, you want to target both OSes. typically I do Android first and switch to iOS. I probably should do iOS first and then work on the Android version11
-
I always had this mentality that I shouldn’t rely on a certain library or framework for my entire project because what if one day they stop supporting it. (Yeah I’m talking to u vuetify) That’s why I came up with this code structure that for everything that I wanna do I have a ‘driver’ library all coded by myself that interacts with that third party framework or library so if they stop supporting it I could just change a couple of lines of code in my driver file and my codebase should be working again. But I feel like this ‘driver’ approach is not the most efficient way of going in terms of memory usage. Do you guys think I should keep it simple and directly use those libraries or this is actually not a bad approach.7
-
Again found myself before deadline. My excuse? I'm more productive during the deadline rush :D
How everyone else sees it: you fucked up
What do I say to myself: never again!!!
```
sleep(until_next_deadline);
goto begining_of_this_post;
``` -
My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)
Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?
In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.
Can anyone hear me?5 -
I was tasked to evaluate wherever a customer could use an implementation of OTRS ( https://otrs.com/ )
Is it just me or is there no information on this site apart from <OTRS> will make your life better! <OTRS> will cure AIDS! <OTRS> will end world hunger!
This site is trying to use its fucking product name in every god damn sentence. <OTRS>. Everytime <OTRS> is mentioned it is fucking bold printed! My eyes are bleeding within 2 minutes of visiting this site.
I can't get any information about what excatly it is apart from their catchphrase: OTRS (again, bold. I'll refrain from putting it in <> from now, i think you got the point) is a customizable support desk software that manages workflows and structures communication so there are no limits to what your service team can achieve.
So, it's a support desk software you can customize. Great. What does it do?
"Whether you deal with thousands of inquiries and incidents daily [...] you’ll need digital structures that integrate standardized processes
and make communication transparent between teams and departments,
as well as for external customers."
Great, but what does it do?
"Reduce costs and improve satisfaction by structuring customer service communication with OTRS."
Great, BUT WHAT DOES IT DO?
"Manage incidents simply and uncover the data needed to make forward-thinking strategy decisions. OTRS is an ITSM solution that scales and adapts to your changing business needs."
W H A T D O E S I T D O ?!
Okay fuck that, maybe the product page has something to say.
Hm... A link on the bottom of the page says it is a feature list ( https://otrs.com/product-otrs/... )
Ah great, so i got a rough idea about what it is. Our customer wants a blackboard solution with a window you can pin to your desktop and also has a basic level of access control.
So it seems to be way to overloaded on features to recommend it to them. Well, let's see if can at least do everything they want. So i need screenshots of the application. Does the site show any of them? I dare you to find out.
Spoiler: It does not. FFS. The only pictures they show you are fucking mock ups and the rest is stock photos.
Alright, onwards to Google Images then.
Ah, so it's a ticket system then. Great, the site did not really communicate that at all.
Awesome, that's not what i wanted at all. That's not even what the customer wanted at all! Who fucking thought that OTRS was a good idea for them!
Fuck!5 -
There's something to be said about building Linux from a blank slate. It takes longer to get a complete system but you know how to fix issues when they come up.
I coudln't get my bluetooth headset working for the life of me until I found out the headset needed the PulseAudio daemon which I had removed because I liked AlsaMixer better. Well, I decided to give PulseAudio a try again and after spending about 10 minutes with the config I got my bluetooth headset working again!
After using Linux for 3 months I've learned there's only so much hand holding it will do before you have to make your own fuckups and figure things out. You can't have freedom over your system if you aren't willing to solve problems, doesn't matter what type of technology it is.1 -
Best way to learn something new?
You keep repeating it wrongly until you are blue in the face, the whole world has gone red and the sweet release of death sounds favorable to your current dilemma.
Then, if you are lucky, you get it right out of the many many failed attempts.
But, what you have learned is far greater than getting it right once. You've learned many ways not to do it again. -
Fucking regulations, can’t play with twilio api.
Waiting for verification of my identity to make a fucking test call to myself.
Wanted to make a proof of concept during weekend, but won’t happen cause some fucking policies.
Fuck you government pigs.
Probably need to wait to fucking Monday. I will forget what I wanted to do till that time.
We are making your life easier all the time in the news, yeah right eat those popups motherfuckers.
Next regulation - government code reviews before push to master and programmer certification, for sure those fuckers are able to do it.
Really considering emigration from Europe right now.
No fucking point to start a business on this continent.
More fucking law please so we would need a lawyer before wiping ass.
Need to watch that southpark episode about security toilet checkout once again.2 -
Once I told a good friend that I will make a website for his business. I do all IT stuff he only has to do the content. Halfway done with the site I asked if he has written anything. He had not. Then a week later I asked again. He had nothing. So I sat down with him and helped him write what he does and why people should go to him. Then I told him to ask a mutual photographer friend to take pictures for him. A week went by when I asked him if he has contacted the guy. He had not. Then I was like: "Dude! If you are not willing to put any effort into making this happen then why the hell should I?"
In the end he didn't do anything. And that's the story of my friend never getting a free website.
The End.1 -
Met one of my friends after almost three months. (He was out on vacation)
We randomly start talking about life and what we aspire to be.
He's doing Business Management Studies, so naturally, he wants to be some sort of manager.
He then asks about me. I tell him how I'm learning and aspiring to be a Web dev and do a little bit of ML on the side.
And following conversation ensues:
Him- Dude, what's the use of learning web development? Anyone can make a website today. Haven't you seen those ads?
Me- *Knowing he's talking about WIX* Yeah I've seen em. But it mostly generates dumb templates. If you need something custom, you gotta take help from a professional.
Him - Nah dude, you can get custom made stuff from them too. Web developers will soon lose their jobs. Learn something else.
Me - *Trying to control the urge to punch, I tried to explain that a website is more than HTML and CSS*
He - *Doesn't want to understand what I'm saying and says I should do something else, since automation will take away developer jobs *
WHAT THE FLYING SPAGHETTI FUCK!?
Why don't these people FUCKING UNDERSTAND (even after telling again and again) that there's more to a website THAN JUST FUCKING STATIC TEMPLATES
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS
And what's with claiming to know more about someone's profession than the person himself who's spending his days and nights dealing with problems your fucking zombie brains can't even fathom.
This was literally the third guy I met this month who said something similar. Are these people so common now?2 -
I hate it when we are discussing a feature and they ask me "what do you think?" after they said how would they go about it and i mention that i would do it differently and think that my way may be longer now but can pay off in the long run and they decline it.
What i hate even more is that after some period they revesit their decision again and come to conclusion that my way is better and now we (i) need to rewrite it but without acknowledging that i said it then and was the best solution.
AMMA KILL SOMEBODY IN THIS BISH RIGHT TF NOW!!10 -
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK JAVA.
At school we were assigned the task to do Huffman's algorithm. Since I am way ahead of all the others, I made a GUI for that. (Btw, we use BlueJ for Java, it's just painful)
Now... I made a JTextField to put the output, which would be any character from 0x0 to 0xFFFF, into it.
Apparently, there is a bug in the setText method, which throws random NullPointerExceptions right into your face if you give it those Unicode characters.
So I looked it up:
It was a Bug, in JDK 1.6.something, where putting a 0xFFFF together with a 0x10000 would cause this. Now you may think, do we still have 1.6? No, we have 1.8 v171, WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHIT GIVE ME A NPE?! THE WORST PART IS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
AND IT HAS THE WORST UNDEFINED BEHAVIOR:
1. NPE, nothing else happens
2. The Text box just gets invisible, but the border stays visible + NPE
3. The box completely disappears + NPE
Try-catching it doesn't do anything, everytime I fill the box with text, one of those options happens, and the box was never to be seen again! NOT EVEN CREATING A NEW TEXT BOX AND ADDING IT TO MY WINDOW WORKS.7 -
You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again
It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!
Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...2 -
I used to be a big security guy, not allowing stuff like most of the social media, not bringing my phone anywhere, carrying a RPi tablet for privacy reasons. Very Stallman stuff.
Recently I noticed that I don't care so much.. I see these things as opportunities, for instance Microsoft products could be benefitial for job opportunities, I have some workout sessions on my phone.
I could restrict myself... but is it worth it just to decline some capitalist/politician's row in a dataset for analysis?
But then again I feel as a society I think we should either do this or request this data to be distributed to us as well.
Should you be playing a game of cards, when the enemy can see your hand? What do u think?6 -
Rant C++
Why do some people like to use ALL the language features. lets use "auto" en "std::tuple" and "std::tie" to hook everything together.. I cannot put something In a list because I now have to use std::move. SURE! If for every line of code I need to lookup what things were again or fixing compile errors it breaks my flow. "std::bind" this and Template that. half of the stuff you don't actually need.. it just complicates things..
Not all are bad. Only Unnecessary sometimes.7 -
If you have any project (personal or not, doesn't matter) that does not have proper code comments and documentation and you don't want to make one because of the effort (maybe even "wasted" effort), think again. When commenting on a wall of code to say what it does, you may find a better way of doing what you have to do, possibly increasing performance, or improving security.
I have been able to do better input sanitization for a method on a personal project of mine because of this.
Don't use the amount of effort for proper documentation as an excuse not to make one.2 -
PM here. I'm having an interview with prospective junior devs next week. I want to make sure that they know a little and can learn a lot. Do you guys have any suggestions of how to ascertain that? I'm thinking simple programming exercises or something.
Again, it's not that important what they know today.14 -
So, I need to search for a new job again. The thing killed my project.
15 years of Java experience in my resume, I look a like a sterotypical 35 years old programmer, I’m applying for expert roles. But every remote technical interview starts with:
- what is the difference between ArrayList and LinkedList?
- what is a hash map?
The hardest part is to keep smiling to the camera, pretending I don’t have the answer memorized by repeating it for the last 15 years of interviewing, and not rolling my eyes.
And before you ask, I do know what garbage collector is.5 -
At my institution there is a sys admin that belongs to an entirely different department. They have their own systems on their own network, separated from ours. I do not care, nor do I mind at all, but this is the second time I've had to put their admin in his place.
The first instance was when we had a security firm gauge our systems for vulnerabilities etc. The one that they have was fine, but required some additional configurations on their Tomcat servers. The "sys-admin" contacted I.T (my department) in order to request assistance, the net manager was the one he contacted, and he told the dude that he is not familiar with the Tomcat environment that they have, but that I, the dev manager, would possibly give him some pointers. The net manager is my friend, and he knows how much of a dickhead I am, so he was careful in what he told him. So the dude calls me:
"Hey, I need some items fixed on my Tomcat servers, they told me you have to do it"
Me: "Who? those are your servers"
Him: "The net manager said that you would do it"
Me: "I am certain he didn't tell you that bud, no one here will take care of your servers, they are yours, I am not doing any configurations on your stuff, that is your job"
Him: "Can't you just do them?"
Me: "No, bye"
The little bitch escalated it to my department director, who told him exactly the same thing, the director did ask if I would be willing to assist, I told him no since even though his configurations were minimal, I was not going to put myself in the position to which that fucker's ineptitude would cause him to point fingers at me, director backed me up and told the fucker to deal with his own shit.
This year it came to my attention that not only do they have their owns servers, but their own SSO system. This moron contacted me, tagging VPS and such in the email to tell me that I had to configure his SSO because "they told me you had to do it". The same shit happened, but this time I put him on blast during a meeting and told him that as "sys admin" for his stuff it was his responsibility to deal with the SSO that they have, and to contact the vendor to ask for the specifications. In front of EVERYONE he asked me if I could do it for him, I fucking looooooooled and told him that he just admitted to not being able to do his job (for which he is paid handsomely) in front of the entire room of VPS. One VP asked me why I was not willing to help him, and I told the VP that it would be the equivalent of me taking his vehicle for services, it is not my vehicle, thus not my responsibility. The VP agreed and told the fucker to get on with it and do what I said: contact his vendor channels to figure it out himself since it was indeed his position.
Yet again he said that he didn't know about SSO configs and that he was "told that I would do it", everyone asked who the fuck told him that and he said that the vendor, they asked again how it was and he showed the message from the vendor telling him: "Have your SSO admin perform the following <bla bla bla bla>" they asked him who was the manager for the SSO that they had. He said that it was him. Then they asked him what logic made him believe that it should be me, he stated again "they told me it was him".
I could hear everyone's brains shortcircuiting as no one could believe someone would be this fucking dense.
I don't think he will continue to have his job for much longer. I understand not knowing something, and I would have been happy to give pointers since I do administer systems of that level, but I can't with the whole made up "they said he would do it"
Bitch who said that? just say that you want me to do it because you can't, I mean, I am still not fucking doing it, but damn. Fucking morons man.5 -
How about a Git for Databases?
Do your changes, delete things, create things, and then when you are sure push these changes to your server.
If you did something wrong like accidentally delete fucking everything, just revert and everything is like before again.
Also you can view history and blame people for doing something wrong.
Tell me what you think about this. Not clue how you could implement this tho... Also I have enough to do already so feel free to take this idea!10 -
"please try again later" is said when you dont know what the fuck is the problem but you dont want to lose the customer of your app so instead of them uninstalling your broken shit you fearfully tell them "keep trynna do the thing but later, later so u dont forget us cz of how shitty we are"1
-
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"""
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
sure?
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
# oboi
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
"no"
then install them
"no"
why not?
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
why not?
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
"XP Pro"
x86 or x64?
"x64"
# fucking...
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
"oh ok"
<User left the IRC channel.>
"""4 -
Hey DevRant Fam!, i hope everyone is doing very well today! :D so recently i have had this thought in my mind and i'm not so sure what to think.... i've been coding in c# for awhile now and i absolutely love love it!.
though i have no job experience yet and i truly cannot wait till i get into an internship position and hopefully land a full-time position!, though, my memory isn't the best in terms of anything, i generally have to (not all the time) look up documentation on Microsoft's website for c#, try and read and understand code examples etc, Would you feel that's like not a good sign or..... im curious to know what you guys think!. just so you know i never copy/paste any code! i try do everything myself :-)
Again thank you very much for reading this! and i do apologise if it is too long!, i hope you guys/gals are having a wonderful day/night wherever you may be! <3
Best
Milo8 -
I've been a frontend engineer at 6 companies for the last 10 years. Both big and small companies currently at the largest I've ever worked for. I'm totally over it. Maybe burnt out is the term. I have zero motivation to do any work or coding. I'm not a lazy person. I love working, solving problems, learning new things. I'm just sick of what I do. I used to love following all the newest tech trends, following devs on twitter, checking hacker news and creating side projects. Now I feel like my job has lost all that joy and excitement. I work remote and have been for the past 3 years. I wonder how much of that, not having any social feedback and interaction around the job has attributed to me feeling like this. All the JS frameworks suck. PR reviews, process, requirements; I'm just tired of everything. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what did you do? Were you able to find the passion for programming again?14
-
I just don't understand why people use the try-catch on calling a method that will throw exceptions just to ONLY re-throw it again, what would you do that for? :(5
-
I'm working in a really really small start up company (I'm the only developer here with the owner being a programming professor in the local uni).
It's my first job after leaving uni and I knew it was a risky decision that I've made but it was my hometown and I could save some extra money by saving on rent and food, also I've always loved a good challenge.
But the challenge isn't working as excepted. It's been a year since I've started here and there was no planning for almost nothing, it's a "do as you think it's best but I'll probably won't like so you have to it again" kind of methodology. Also I've been hire to do an hybrid mobile app and I've ended up doing a full e-commerce website with shitty outdated technology that I've had no experience in using.
So for me I'm more than done. I'm tired of having my suggestions being completely ignored, of the lack of planning and instruction and the fact that I'm being underpaid for what I do.
Fuck it, I'm looking for a new job.3 -
We find our hero, fullstackclown🤡, again harrowed by idiotic management.
Our backdrop and set: A Google calendar appointment was booked between the managers and fullstackclown. fullstackclown had created an all-day appointment for today which reads: "fullstackclown on site".
With the scene set, let us begin our tale..........
Manager: Are you going to be on site today?
fullstackclown🤡: Do you see the appointment I booked on our calendar stating that indeed I will be on site today?
Manager: ...
fullstackclown🤡: you are an absolute idiot
Manager: ...
I literally don't know what to do anymore. I mean it's RIGHT THERE IN YOUR CALENDAR. HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?! DO YOU WANT A TWILIO APP THAT SENDS YOU A PRERECORDED VOICE MESSAGE IN MY VOICE, CONFIRMING MY CALENDAR APPOINTMENTS?!
What type of mindset causes this type of behavior of double or triple checking things as simple as a calendar booking? Honestly shows a complete breakdown of normal mental functioning in my opinion.5 -
Trying to use authenticate a JWT token from an Azure service, which apparently needs to use Azure AD Identity services (Microsoft Entra ID, Azure AD B2C, pick your poison). I sent a request to our Azure admin. Two days later, I follow up, "Sorry, I forgot...here you go..."
Sends me a (small) screenshot of the some of the properties+GUIDs I need, hoping I don't mess up, still missing a few values.
Me: "I need the instance url, domain, and client secret."
<hour later>
T: "Sorry, I don't understand what those are."
Me: "The login URL. I assume it's the default, but I can't see what you see. Any shot you can give me at least read permissions so I can see the various properties without having to bother you?"
T: "I don't see any URLs, I'll send you the config json, the values you need should be in there."
<10 minutes later, I get a json file, nothing I needed>
<find screenshots of what I'm looking for, send em to T>
Me: "The Endpoints, what URLs do you see when you click Endpoints?"
<20 minutes later, sends me the list of endpoints, exactly what I'm looking for, but still not authenticating the JWT>
Me: "Still not working. Not getting an error, just that the authentication is failing. Don't know if it's the JWT, am I missing a slash, or what. Any way I can get at least read permissions so I don't have to keep bugging you to see certain values?"
T: "What do you need, exactly?"
Me: "I don't know. I don't know if I'm using the right secret key, I can't verify if I'm using the right client id. I feel like I'm guessing trying to make this work."
T: "What exactly are you trying to get working?"
<explain, again, what I'm trying to do>
T: "That's probably not going to work. We don't allow AD authentication from the outside world."
Me: "Yes we do. Microsoft Teams, Outlook, the remote access services. I can log into those services from home using my AD credentials."
T: "Oh yea, I guess we do. I meant what you are trying to do. Azure doesn't allow outside services to authenticate using a JWT. Sorry."
FRACK FRACK FRACK!!
Whew! Putting the flamethrower away.
Thanks devrant for letting me rant.3 -
bruuuuuuuuuh I got an email asking for tech LatinX people to join for a talk on our problems facing x shit in tech.
As a Mexican American (I am more American than Mexican, but whatever) and your standard gun tootin Texan: fuck you, do not call me LatinX
I know both English and Spanish (and other languages that won't disclose here because fk u) well and believe that adding such buuuuuuuullshit to my beautiful Spanish is utter nonsense.
I sent it to the network admin and ask him to block them fuckers from ever sending emails my way ever again as spam.
LatinX....what a fucking joke10 -
Usually I use my laptop which has ubuntu installed but sometimes if I'm doing something for long period of time I use my desktop which has windows 7 installed. You know for games and shit.
Here is the bad part about all of this
*Rant incoming*
This fucking piece of shit ass licker. Deleted my entire god damn paths.
And if you don't know if you don't have the right paths you can't do shit basically. This fucking piece of smelly shit. DELETED THEM FUUUUUCJDUCKFUUUCKKKKFUUUUUCK NOW I HAVE TO WRITE ALL OF THEM AGAIN ?! FUCK YOU FUUUUUUCKKK GO SUCK A BIG DICK FOR MAKING A FUCKING SYSTEM MECHANIC THIS FUCKING FRAGILE. WHAT THE FUUUUCK AND ITS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET THE PATHS RIGHT TOO. SHITSHISHIT AND I CAN FORMAT TO A NEW OS BUT IF ITS WINDOWS I NEED TO INSTALL EVERY DAMN BIT OF DRIVER AGAIN FUUUUUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT
linux i'm sorry I was cheating on you with that piece of shit cheap whore. You are the right one for me. Even though If I need to work hours to make a software work on you l, when you work you work for good, not like this piece of shit that decides to delete important information out of nowhere.7 -
Can you make me this page please.
Me: its done its 100% like the psd you send me
She: yes but this component is bigger then this one
Me: its the same here the css proof
She: can you change it ?
Me: ( this will change the hole component and douin the same shit ) yes i will do it for you.
She: again this is not the same size
Me: ( what the fuck i said to shut is mouths ) ............. Fml -
In-laws are vacationing in London right now (wife's parents and aunt/uncle), so to keep in touch with the kids, I installed+configured Skype on their phones (these are folks in their 70s, no where close to tech savvy), I think they are good to go.
Last night we try to connect (I 'see' them online)...nothing, so we call.
Me: "Did you see or hear the skype notification?"
Grandma: "Was that you? My phone made a weird sound I never heard before and I saw your picture. I wasn't sure what to do so pressed the red button."
Me: "Its the same sound and picture I showed you before you guys left, remember? That's OK, the kids want to see you and say hi. Hang up and when you hear the sound and see my picture, click the green accept button"
I try again...ring..ring...nothing. About a second later we receive a text "Grandpa hit something and your picture went away. What do I do now?"
So, I try again...ring..ring...they finally pick up (we can only hear them)
Grandma: "Hello...hello? I don't hear or see anything, damn it Fred, what did you hit?"
Grandpa: "Nothing Betty, you aren't holding it right, turn it sideways .."
Wife: "Guys..we can hear you, can you see us?"
Grandpa: "Press this button with the line crossed through it .."
Wife: "Dad.."
Grandpa: "Hey!..See Betty, you had the phone turned wrong. Can you see us?"
Me: "No, you may have hit the video button..it looks like a little video camera, press it."
Grandma: "We did...nothing happened."
Me: "Are you sure? Try it again. The image may be grey or a little darkened, I don't remember."
Then we lose the sound.
Wife: "Oh good Lord they muted us. We're going to have to forget Skype and call them..."
All of a sudden we get video and sound. Cheers all around.
Then I hear in the background..
Uncle: "I thought 'PaperTrail' knew what he was doing? Apparently not."
I heard that and FU you, you old bastard. If you weren't a millionaire and paid for their London trip, I'd take 'knew what he was doing' and shove it up your ass when I see you.1 -
* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive1 -
JIRA life:
Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.
I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.
Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.
"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"
YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!1 -
Me walking down the corridors of my building after hours, singing full on out loud (I can actually sing)
Lyrics(by yours truly homage to Mika)
I wanna talk to you!
The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears
I promise you it won't happen again!
Do I attract you? Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty? Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome, I could be loathsome, I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me without making me try?
Some voice at the other side of the building: "who is there singing???!"
Me:
"I tried to be like Grace Kelly!!"
"but all her looks are too sad"
"so I tried a little Freddy MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
"I've gone identity maaaaaaaaaaaad"
then I walked inside of my office and stopped spooking the janitors. Really wish someone would join in and helped me sing the high note parts of the song really. I've got no audience here smfh -
So my team got this new clueless "Delivery manager" who doesn't know ANYTHING ABOUT AGILE!
Her favourite timepass ? To eat development team's time asking stupid questions just to make her presence felt. And she does that by visiting each developer personally. MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY !
Why can't you leave the team and let them do some actual work??😑
She would join our scrum meetings to ask questions like "what are story points again?", "How do we calculate team velocity?"
Dear miss Clueless: It's not cool to be dumb! It's cool to take up an online agile crash course if you insist to contribute.
The other day, she suggested a QA guy to "test properly" with a smirk!
I mean seriously ? Was that actually necessary to tell them? This team was working just perfect without you. How about you look before you leap?
I try being nice to her but at times it's just too much to take. -
Clients are total assholes, we all know it, just sharing my another depressed instance.
> be me, freelancing.
> client sends in an image of a webpage
> le me gently ask "What is the functionality here since this has a form?"
> Client explains
> OK let's do this because I have other stuff to do as well.
> Sends in demo
> Client: "Numerous typos, send again"
> Okay, sends again.
> Client Rages: "This still has typos. I thought you were a good developer. You look like a has-been.
I promptly quit the project and tried to explain to him the difference between a "demo" and a finished project. He was supposed to check the functionality of the fucking form, which he didn't.
Got a call to finish the project, him explaining nobody is working for him for given budget, he can't afford anybody in this town (literally), and I am not going back.3 -
Hey, you, my new colleague, you are annoying. I have reviewed your PR and left about 50 comments on your mess. I even explained to you why half of your code is shit in a very polite way. I have explained why you have to rewrite that and even how to do that in the best way possible. Result? Half of the code is gone, it works as before but without the overhead.
Now you're annoying cuz I have to go again on conventions and best practices. I totally understand that you've been doing it differently and throwing buzz words at me won't help. Just stop and do it as it's needed in this project, don't reinvent the wheel only because you can.
You know what? Fuck it! I'll approve all your PRs, anyway I am leaving soon. There is no benefit for me to teach you stuff. You're one of those guys that I voted against in interviewing process. But guess what? My manager decided to hire you anyway! Ha! I rarely vote NO and you were a one of those...
Your confidence doesn't impress me. That works on people that have no clue on what you are doing. Your just average at best, not a superstar.
Fuck it, you're on your own now!1 -
Just a quick question (& rant) about the titanium SDK
If people don't already know titanium is an SDK which you can use to make cross-platform apps, it is what devrant uses. I am starting a project using it but it's so terpremental, the build manifest file doesn't get created so a full rebuild occurs everytime and the builds only are successful half of the time.
I am also using tishadow to speed up the development but after a few code changes it will crash and I have to go though the same process again.
So my questions are to anyone who uses the titanium SDK, is it as buggy for you (it might be because I'm using windows Ew I know) or if this does happen to you how do you develop applications with it?
Thank you :)3 -
Context: large project moves to touch friendly UI, request and initial specs late last year, specs initial mockups early this year, designer promises final design before end of Q1.
Two sprints into development no fucking design, meeting today about it, designer has no fucking clue about what we actually agreed to last time. Promises again to have it for next time.
What the actual fuck? How difficult it is to least read up the fucking notes and do your fucking job that you are being paid for? Had a half fucking year!
After meeting...
Me: why do we even keep him around?
Pm: he is really overbooked...
Me: my balls are overbooked, don't promise if you can't deliver! (Leaves meeting room)
Fairly confident that this is the last project with this guy...
Am I the only one who just hates working with designers?2 -
If a team uses multiple languages and stacks (Have, JS, Python) do you think it's better to have everyone use/constantly switch between them or have dedicated developers for each language (ie. 80% main, 20% others)?
--END QUESTION, ANSWER NOW BEFOREHAND CONTINUING---
---BEGIN RANT---
My boss likes keeping the team "will rounded" so everyone does everything. One month in working in Java, the next with Node web apps. When I switch to node, it takes like a week of "wtf doesn't it work.... what changed, is it a big?" And usually end it"oh right I remember I need to ..."
And also always... "How the fuck do I write tests in {some reading framework} again?"
So feels like everyone is just a generalist and no one is a master/has time to develop mastery. I don't know if it's just me (1/3 Senior developers on the team that has to do everything) or if I'm the only one that complains... Not that it makes a difference... (Only option to really be heard is to resign but I need to somewhere else to work and finding one is hard for personal reasons)
And well this is the biggest reason I would leave the team. No time for mastery, no standardization/shared knowledge (everyone does their own thing but probably not well and no time for testing or documentation; how the fuck does whatever you wrote work, how do we use it, what the fuck did you put in prod that does ... And where the fuck did you put it cuz it's not in ANY of our repos).
I always feel one day soon it will come crashing down and I can say "I told you so" but will then it's too late and I'll be there one cleaning it up... Again6 -
“OhhHhh please fill out an entire fucking excel sheet for our test environment deployment. It helps us manage everything better and gives us a reason to fucking thumb around in our holes all day and pretend like we really mean something as managers.” Like absolutely no, you can go fuck yourself with a condom filled with broken glass shards and diseases is what YOU can do. You are a parasite.
“Senior lead developer” - but they don’t have a title - says: “please just give me the list of files I need to manually change on the env in real time”. Bitch, do you even know what CI/CD is?!?!? The fact that you have been doing this for a year straight makes me pity how much of a fucking dumbass you really are. Even if u don’t use a pipeline, just look at my fucking git changes. That’s literally why we have it. You are a fucking disgrace of a developer and I hope you know that everyone who is a competent dev would rather bathe in a bath filled with lemon juice and cactus spikes, before EVER working with YOU EVER AGAIN!!!2 -
A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!
Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...6 -
I am looking to switch from Ubuntu (once again).
I already used Fedora and Arch in the past, while Arch was my fav, its just too much of a hassle to setup. But I keep finding tiny things that annoy me on Ubuntu.
So anyhow, what do you use/reccomend and why?13 -
Actually I have two stories
The first one, that one project I talked about with a big company when I was at school. It wasn't that much coding since it was mostly researching, but it was a big project that seems really interesting, with Image Analysis and Machine Learning.
The projects at school this year got drawn randomly for each group, so when I've been announced that I've been chosen for the biggest project, thinking about every side of the project, I was hyped. And even a year after we finished it, I'm still happy and excited about it.
The second is something a little more funny :
So we got some projects to do during December for school including cryptography. Again, those were randomly drawn (but some can really fuck you up) and I got to do a Password Manager, like KeyPass. We were 4, and we thought we had the time to do it.
But we misread the date. At the end of Christmas break, I got a call of a friend saying that the project is due in two days.
Thing is, one of my three co-workers weren't contactable. And we got nothing.
So I kinda took the lead : I said to one to do the UI, another to do the cryptograph helper, and I'll do the linking and all the behaviour of it.
In two days, I literally spent all the time available on it.
Then first meeting with the teacher for saying what is wrong, where bugs are if they exist, ect. so we can fix the issues and deliver a clean code. They were like only 4 big problems. More is, I fixed them all in like two hours while thinking fixing only one. And we got something like the 2nd or the 3rd best mark of the prom. And everyone congratulated me for that. I got so excited I was able to do that in few time.
But never that again lmao -
man you can tell some of these course selling companies are poorly managed (or rather, perhaps NOT managed) when you have to do the same thing over and over again for over TWO YEARS
HELLOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING... PLEASE PUBLISH MY COURSE NOW
if i'd put the damn thing on Udemy when it was done i'd already be 2-3K richer
...damn, i gotta taper off here with the rage before i reveal my identity at 10K
🤡🤡🤡🤡14 -
Service necessary for many applications is failing at 8am this morning, it connects to a virtual directory. Trying to figure out why it's failing, application is fine, Middleware is fine, asked to reboot virtual directory servers "no we can't do that" fast forward to a wasted day trying to find the error, asked again to restart, they said yes, what do you know it started working again
-
Oh boyyy, I just had to work with Asterisk again. And holy shit it is still the clusterfuck it was many years ago.
We got:
- Inconsequent documentation that is mixed through all versions.
- The config sprinkled over what feels like 20 gazillion files.
- AEL being a half assed attempt at a "pRoGRamMinG LanGuAgE"
- The fuck you mean with extensions, endpoints and AOR's?
- Inconsistent config parameter naming. Some are snake case, some camel case some are just everything smushed into a single word.
- queue_log determines wheter to write a log to a file. queue_log_to_file Says to do so independent of you having a realtime backend. Whatever the fuck that is.
- Log compression is done by executing a gzip command after a rotation??!!?!! -
And here I am again, reading test cases that basically boil down to:
$testCase->foo = "bar";
$this->assertEquals($testCase, "bar");
$testCase2->foo = null;
$this->assertNull($testCase2->foo);
Why would anyone feel the need to write these kind of tests? They don't do anything. If I set up my mock a certain way, of course I will have that data, esp. if the unit under test only applies the data AS IS. (Funily enough through another component that already has the relevant dummy tests in place making these tests extra redundant and obsolete.)
You would think that one test case with dummy data suffices, yet no, there are like 30 examples that lie to you about apparent business logic cases, yet in the end the way you set up the mock decides what you will or won't get.
What's the point?6 -
What a coincidence. This will be that day. Not as dev, but as a student. I know this place called DEVrant, but I'm really nervous right now, because of the tests today. I didn't learn and I'm gonna fail all.
But not the tests the only thing I worry about. I hate this world becouse everybody needs to work hard and there is no break. Rarely you can get some air, but one second later you're in the deep again... I don't know what to say or what to do. This will go in my entire life? This is horrible.
I know. I'm just a student. "It will be harder." you say. But I've had enough of this.3 -
People in this discussion will refer to my classmates doing their project we were allowed to choose like 3 months ago and back then I already told them they won't ever manage to make it work in time.
People: "yo could you help real fast"
Me: "aaah not again but okay why not"
People: "here's the code"
Me: "the fuck is this? What is it supposed to do?"
People: "ummm it should doooo eeeerrr... Like this and .... Yeah we don't know. The output should look like that but it doesn't"
Me: "the fuck did you even try to do. That'll never work. And I told you the same thing like 3 months ago when you just chose the project. Just go and use some random math lib you find"
People: "kkkk"
Their code seriously made no sense at all. Parsing substring within like 5 nested loops and like 20vars called "s1" and "theString" and what not. -
devRant help me!
I'm getting a lovely little tax return and am in the middle on what laptop to buy.
MacBook Pro (I like MacOS and build quality, fight me)
or
PixelBook (I'm a google fanboy and love ChromeOS so once again... Fight me)
What do you think would be the best option keeping in mind the PixelBook will run Linux apps as well...15 -
Starts search and replace.
Trys to replace a type in the whole Project.
Syntax Check: lol no, apparently everything is broken now, good job
(literally my whole project was marked red)
Reverts changes
(project still marked red)
Syntax Check: lol what? Your code already looked like shit before, won't let you compile this.
It was a bug which breaks the syntax check after big replace requests. Had to start a new project and copy my code step for step, so it didn't break again. However I've forgotten to replace the type before I copy...
Another story regarding this shit:
Renames Variable
IDE: oh, let me help you by replacing all old var names with the new one
Agrees
IDE: oh shoot, didn't know it could break things
Wants to revert
IDE: did you think I would go through this mess again?! Do it yourself!3 -
Ok finally, I can tell now.
There's a college project I'm in with 2 more people that uses Python and AnyLogic (separately).
We also need to write some LaTeX, so as I was already using PyCharm for the Pyshit, I used it for the LaTeX and for Git.
I used it for Git too because I didn't know how it used Git and was worried that if I used the console it didn't recognize something or glitched out or something. And what the hell, it's a mature IDE, what could be so hard or possibly go wrong?
I had to re download the repo a couple of times because between pushes, pulls, merges and commits something happened and the repo ended in a weird state.
These are all the things I do:
Add, commit, create branches, merge, push, pull and delete branches.
So, I hadn't opened in some time. The last time I tried to bring something from another branch, and stayed up late to finish something. I was waiting for my classmates to join the call when I thought something like "Hey, I should commit what I did until now, it worked great.". When I examined the IDE I found out I was in the middle of a rebase or something. I start clicking buttons to at least try to commit. I press "Skip Commit". I lose everything.
What the fuck‽ As you can see in the comprehensive list above, I never do something similar to a rebase. Apparently when I tried to merge a couple of branches, the stupid IDE thought I tried to do a rebase and never asked me to finish it. Why do something I have never asked? Plus, why haven't you prompted me to finish the operation? That's so stupid. I'm never trusting IDEs again.
I was so lit for losing so many hours of work I did a couple of weeks before, I would have to think it and do it all over again because of something I never asked.
We spent an hour looking for a way to recover the lost code.
Why an hour, you ask, if you can use the Local History for that in PyCharm?
Because none of us had used it before and the articles we found said that you had to open it from the toolbar. From the toolbar it was greyed out.
Then I found the option in the contextual menu of the files. Recovered the LaTeX files but on the AnyLogic files, it was greyed out.
I had to open the Local History of the folder containing the AnyLogic file.
And that was that.
I almost faint.
Fuck Python, fuck PyCharm.8 -
The ammount of frustration my parents give me sometimes is odd. Today (friday) evening I went online at six and did some random stuff. At eight my father orders me to go offline for the reason that I shouldn't stay upstairs all night playing games.
So what am I supposed to do otherwise? All my electronics projects are on hold because Im waiting for parts. There is nothing on TV and I dont have netflix. If Im on my phone watching youtube videos, he'll come with some sentences like: Your on the phone again? Get off it!
If I ask him what I can do, he answers me with something like; Thats up to you. Yeah when 99% of the options i have require a pc. And there is NO way Im going to do something for school! And the rest of the evening ends probably in my parents watching a moovie I've seen several times. Which should be the same as wacthing the stuff I actually want to see on youtube or being on the computer.4 -
You know these people who want your support but do everything they could possibly do to prevent you from helping them?!
This one is about text-based support.
Basically, I told them to use a software. One guy said: "There is always an error right in the beginning when I start the app."
I ask: "What does it say?"
Another dude joins: "Yes, I get the same. Update fails or something..."
I ask: "What's the exact error message?"
Second guy: "Retrieving update failed or something similar..."
*whaaa, guess what: this is by no fucking way what I meant with "exact error message"*
Well, I ask nicely to look it up again and tell me the details.
Then, I suggest a possible solution for this abstract problem. Answer:
"No, it only happens at start."
What the fuck do you think I am? A stupid monkey who cannot read?! I know that it happens at start, that's why I suggested what I suggested! And don't think you're so intelligent to believe that deleting an update.exe in %appdata% had nothing to do with your problem. You don't have a single fucking clue how software works in its simplest manner.
What the fuck. -
Its sad to see the original creator of Node.js killing it for good.
Ryan Dahl had the guts to agree what he did wrong while building Node.js and some of the decisions which stays even today as irreversible. Hats off for him for bring everything to light and working again towards a solution using deno!
Which uses typescript and with a lot more optimized features, still in development tho.
Alot of people still loves node, including me, but do you guys really think it will last longer?
Ryan Dahl's talk at JSConf EU 2018.
https://youtu.be/M3BM9TB-8yA2 -
What coding at work is supposed to look like:
class myclass {
public:
void myfunc;
void.... And so on so forth.
What coding at work actually looks like:
class myclass {
pub--"Hey can get line one? <name> is asking for you."
(20 minutes later)
public:
void myfunc;
vo--"Hey <same name> wants to talk to you again."
Programming doesn't give me gray hair, distractions do.3 -
“httpOnly cookies prevent XSS attacks”… wow.
As if not being able to get your cookies is going to stop me from doing bad things.
When I'm in via XSS, it's over. I'm changing the page content to your sign-in form with “please sign in again” notice, but it sends email/password straight to me. What percentage of users is going to enter their data? What do you think? With password managers prefilling data, and the annoyance being one “enter” hit away, I think a lot of users will fall for that. No one, including you, will be able to tell the difference without devTools.
You can rotate the session token, but good luck rotating the user's password.
Oh, did I tell you I could register a service worker using XSS that will be running in background FOREVER?
But don't listen to me. Don't think. Just use httpOnly and hope for the best. After all, your favorite dev youtuber said they could protect you from XSS.4 -
So... school is about to begin again...
Honestly I'm both excited and intimidated about it. It's my last year in high school, and I still haven't decided what to do after it. I guess I'll go to an university, and possibly continue with my conservatory... I want to do both things, hoping that the weight won't crush me.
If you're like me, still a student, what do you think you would like to do after high school?6 -
Does any of you write notes about what you learn in your day to day job? I recently covered a colleague that went on vacation because the product was going to be shipped during his vacay and I was assigned to do some tweaks, since I am the only one on that team that also knows frontend apart from him. My job is computer vision and he is a frontend dev, so when I sat to take a look, I started to learn new tricks for frontend and I felt the need to write them down because when I go back to my routine, I will forget them since I won’t use them for computer vision. However, knowing frontend is always handy.. do you guys take notes on stuff you might not touch again but it’s useful to keep somewhere?4
-
I just got scammed in web3. Again. Luckily by following an extremely strict risk management i lost $25.
But apparently now i have to be even more strict and be rigorous to the extremes.
"Pay me up front payment and ill start" Fuck you. Fuck all of you requesting for an upfront payment.
Do you think in the real world when you get hired at ANY job, do you think you're paid up front even a fucking dime? NO. You start working and get paid 1 whole ass Fucking month LATER. But only in web3 do these shitholes ask for an "uP fRoNt pAyMenT s0 i cAn StaRt wOrkiNg". No. Fuck you. I hope you get a fucking cancer and choke on a dead ape's dick.
How Fucking PATHETIC does your poor miserable waste of life have to be to scam someone for just $25? What the fuck?
Web3 is FULL, actually full is a compliment so I'll say it this way: Web3 is OVERLOADED AND OVERFILLED WITH FUCKING SCAMMERS. They're dripping EVERYWHERE. DMs. Discord. Twitter. Fake profiles. Fake messages. Fake cloned websites. Fake scam influencers. Fake marketers. Fake collab managers. Lies deception and exaggeration of results. Or even if it's the original collection, it's probably still a scam.
I don't know what to fucking do no more.
OH have i mentioned Web3 influencers? Oh my fucking god. These influencers on twitter for web3 are the most narcissistic, egocentric, arrogant, RUDE and EXTREMELY disrespectful as fucking pricks they are. I can not lead a normal conversation with ANY of them without them offending me because i dont want to give them my hard earned money right away. Fuck you. FUCK YOU. I HOPE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY DIES IN CAR CRASH FUCKING LOSERS.
Instead of focusing on building in web3 and developing software im now stressing 90% of the time about potential scammers and focus on being careful not to get scammed......
The amount of TOXICITY in Web3 is EXTREME. This is so Fucking ANNOYING and mentally EXHAUSTING25 -
Good Morning Folks!!!
I haven't been posting in a while, besides the fact that I went thru a crazy psychiatric crisis 6 weeks ago, there have not been much news to share here.
Now, recovering and working again luckily, I have to face again the stupid pointy haired boss.
So, this fucker asked me for an estimation to build a simple web app.
He: Hey, can you make an estimation for this app
Me: sure, here it is.
He: *to the client*, here's the estimation for the web app you requested
Client: Uhmm, can I haz desktop for winbug$??
He: Let me check with dev
Me: Sure why not, we can do F# using MVU which is basically the same as using modern web frameworks
He: Sure, I'll tell that to the client.
Client: Oooohhh, C#, we lovez C#, can I haz discount?
He: Client wants discount to make it in C#.
Me: Oh, you can give him a discount to make it in F#, I never said C#
He: But your cv says you used C# ten years ago.
Me: Sure, but is not keeping up with functional design patterns, which is what I do.
He: Ok, so I'm offering him the discount in F#
Me: Great.
He: So, project is approved, thanks for the discount, you have 3 weeks to present the product in C#.
Me: Sure, I'll start when I get the downpayment.
Me: I'm considering saying that I didn't understand that he wanted it in C#, and just do F# and not let him know until the project is done.
Thoughts??8 -
IDK if this counts as a meeting
Last year, I was in my first uni year. In this subject, we had to do this project and then have to meet with our teacher to talk about what we've done in it, as a way to see if we really did the work and/or if we both had done it.
So me and my colleague get to the room and sit down. He starts asking questions. My colleague answers. I freeze.
I'm a bit socially awkward and anxious to the point it kinda incapacitates me when I'm subjected to some sort of social pressure (read: evaluations). At some point, the teacher turns to me and says "you haven't been talking. Did you let your colleague do it all by himself?", and I faintly respond "No", so he redirects his questions to me.
To tell the truth I was kinda off the loop for the second part of that project, I barely could get anything done and I felt so bad about it. I'm used to doing all the work so not being able to do anything is so frustrating.
He starts asking me stuff and I forget what I studied for it. I just... forgot. I do not cope well with evaluations where I have to actually talk to people. I do fine on tests.
So he turns to us after the trainwreck that were my answers and says "your work is not good. At all. You may fail the subject. I have to see the first part again, but this isn't looking good for the both of you" (the work was to be delivered in 2 parts). I was crushed. I went home and I just cried out of frustration and fear.
We had a 13 in the work. We both passed the subj. I don't think there was any moment I was so scared to see a grade and so relieved to see that I've made it. -
It's too early to be asking these questions today:
Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?
What branch are they checked into?
Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?
Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.
Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?
Why not?
Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?
Why is there a typo in your field name?
Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?
Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?
Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.
Why is the coffee not ready yet?
What's going on in DevRant this morning?
What project am I working on now anyway?
Did my schema update finish yet?
Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?
What's the command line to restore the file again?
Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?
I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?
What project was I working on this morning again?1 -
I have a question, let's say I have a website and app both using oAuth facebook login. Should I save the access token provided by facebook in my database and if I should, what will happen to the access token when user logins with facebook on website and then login again with the app? is that mean access token is going to be overwritten by new login? and do you have any other suggestions for 0auth integration?3
-
Did I ever tell you guys about that time I got a whole monitor for 1 Zar?
Probably but I shall again.
"twas the same auction at work where I got the R100 laptop. There was an LG Flatron W2243S listed with no reserve price. It had description "Faint line down middle of screen"
Figured what the hell, bid R1, mostly to see kif anyone else would. I won it. Literally just swapped out the vga cable and did a factory reset. All happy now. Only downside is that it's vga only but hey, what else are you gonna do with R1?5 -
Tried to find and download drivers for a Dell laptop, but no matter what I got redirected to pages in Finnish. There's a country selector - also in Finnish. However, in my country we speak Swedish. Åland Islands is not an option in the country list, and Sweden is not called anything even remotely close to Sverige or Sweden in Finnish...so unless you happen to know Finnish you'll have to pick a country haphazardly until you find a language where you can at least understand the word Sweden. Once finally on the Swedish page, if you click your way forward on the support pages, you end up on the Finnish page again...AAARGH! Dell, if you want to be helpful then do it right! Once again, in Åland Islands, we speak Swedish. Even if Dell would acknowledge my country, making any assumptions about the user's language merely based on their geographical location, is flat out stupid! Have those morons at Dell never heard about multi-lingual countries? Or commuters? Tourists? Newsflash: In AD 2016 the world is multicultural and people also tend to travel abroad.
-
Hey DevRant Fam ❤️ hope you are all doing very well!, for awhile now i have been focusing on c# and I certainly do enjoy it! Though since I’m still in uni.. we have only been building forms which as far as i am aware is not used anymore..
So my devRant fam, I’d love to be learning more of the modern things and also building more modern forms using c#, I’m very curious to hear what advice you have for me, I’m very much happy to learn anything & I’m open to all of your opinions!.
Again thank you for reading my lengthy rant, I appreciate it highly!
Hope you have an amazing day/night wherever you are!
Best
Milo ☺️❤️9 -
Summing up my cynicism.
I live on a big shit pile in the middle of nowhere where biggest achievement is travel around the globe. It doesn’t matter that you can do it under a day using special piece of paper that everyone is bragging about.
At the same time I am trapped inside sack of meat that is slowly putrefy and is highly vulnerable to everything on this fucking place. Sooner or later I will shit under myself again.
And I even didn’t stared cause the real problem is that I can’t get the fuck out of here and everyone try to convince me that what I do is “important” and I need to start a family and shit like that, yet everyone believes in some higher power that says you don’t need all of this shit. Like what the fuck people ?!!?!!
How the fuck did I get here ? I must have been making jokes from someone important. If it’s true I’m really really sorry and now please get me out of this nightmare. I know I did something wrong and I sincerely apologize. Are we good now ?
Fucking hell !!!3 -
Any vim/nvim users here? Why do you use it despite having to setup that thingie for hours? People like me who wants to try vim/nvim, the setup process scares the crap out of us. What I want? I just want to be able to do what I can already do in vscode. all I wanted my vim/nvim to be able to debug TypeScript/JavaScript with Nodejs. There's packages like, Vim-vscode shit, that takes help from vscode to debug it using vscode! why not use vscode then?
I'm tired of trying nvim/vim over and over again, and every time, it feels like I'm just a little luckier that before. If it continues, Its gonna take forever to setup. No thank you! I'm going back to vscode. Let me know when there's a gui kinda thing where I can see all the available packages for neovim and its just one click/enter install away. else, consider me sleeping...16 -
That's unbelievable.
I'm working on a project using Flutter, a framework made by Google.
And of course, as every product of Google, is full of bullshit.
I was creating a theme for this app and I had to styles some texts. I whis I never tried it.
There's a plethora of attribute: headline, body, title, ecc. For each of them there are many types: headline1, headline2, headline3 and so on.
So I checked the documentation, because of course i had no clue on which one I should have used.
And again, the documentation is made by Google: full of bullshits.
They don't event tell you which one do what. So now the best thing to do is to create an entire project just to figure out what the fuck each of them does.3 -
My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.
New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .
Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?
New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.
Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?
New guy: Yes.
Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.
New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.3 -
Guys, this is not a rant. But I need a career advice. I don’t have a BD in CS, but I studied by myself and took some other classes and was working in the field for more than an year now after graduating from university. I do full stack developing with javascript and sometimes java at a startup now.
My goal was to eventually get to grad school in CS. I found some programs what accept students from non CS back grounds too. I can’t do BD again it will take too long. And I’m old ! lol
If any of you had similar experiences, or know some good programs would you let me know? Should I prepare portfolio or should I accomplish something great in order to get accepted? Or should I just try applying first? I’m focusing more on east coast to choose schools from but open to anything for now.
It’s quite scary to really start working on this since I already have a job and there are so much information regarding grad school, I get overwhelmed. Though it’s something i need to overcome. It would be really helpful for me if you could share your two cents.
I love what I do now, and really hope that I get to study further and explore in depth. Also I’m interested in AI or machine learning. Also if you know good source for reading recently published papers on CS let me know!
Thanks for reading! :)10 -
Ok, Just Imagine this. You are assigned to add a simple function in an application, using which the company can download user data which was provided by user in that app initially.
Now first twist come, when you realize the Auth system of user is not working. You fix it, and again realize email verification process is not working, which is preventing user to get registered on a first place. You again fix it, and again new problem occurs that user cannot enter detail because he/she is restricted. What the hell, is this some kind of bhul bhulaiyaa or what.
And this shit modern web frameworks, they are meant to make life easier, but half of the time i have to fight against them.
And last honourable mention to continuous disturbance of internet connection. Whenever i am installing any dependencies or want to have quick google search, it goes away. All thanks to work from home state.
I really think now to be a monk and go to do meditation in himalayas. What a life goss ! -
Be honest. Given that you're not in crunch mode. Do you actually work 8 hours every day?
I have had some days but usually it's impossible for me to do actual work as a developer for 8 full hours, 5 times a week.
I feel that (without meetings), my ideal schedule for days of normal workload would be 5 hours a day. I'm strictly speaking about focused work, actual programming. Meetings don't usually rack up more than 2-3 hours per week for me.
I do my best to be in the office during the expected hours but I can't help but feel that everything about my engagement, focus and contribution at work would be better if I could just stroll in around 10, well rested, do some actual work, take a short lunch break, go at it again and go home around 15:30...
Because I feel like this I quickly get judgemental about myself if I come in at 9 and leave around 16:30 too often during a work week.
What are your thoughts on this subject?3 -
How would you call this role? Product Owner? Graphics Designer?, Both? Neither?
I work for a small startup besides university and we do need a person responsible for how site looks. But then again we also need a product owner for the frontend. So why not combine these roles? A person who's responsable as product owner for all the frontend related bits plus does the designing. Initially this person would work with just one frontend dev, possibly more over time.
Question:
- How would you call this role/job?
- What would be an appropriate salary?
- How would you evaluate an application to this role?3 -
Do you ever feel like now that you reached your goal of being a developer that there is nothing left to look forward to? I feel like all the best parts of my life are over. I will never have a first love again, I will never be young again, and all that’s left is working a shit job where everyone else could give two shits less about craftsmanship so I can survive and then eventually dying.
A week ago I climbed on to the ledge of the parking garage and intended to jump. But I got scared and climbed back over and threw up everywhere. I feel like I am in a better place now, but I still don’t know what I am living for. It all feels so pointless. Does anyone else on devRant feel that way right now?4 -
Crypto! I've always thought of crypto as some complicated black box! How does it work, but then I did the cryptopals challenge and learned to exploit cryptography. What to do with this new found knowledge? Write new libraries and ransomware of course! So I present two projects that taught me a lot!
Pydhe, possibly the first(!!!) Open source diffie Hellman library for python. (Yea I know openssl, but they don't let you do diffie hellman without TLS. I do!) https://github.com/deadPix3l/pyDHE
And Cryptsky! One of the first ever fully python, opensource ransomware! (Again caveat, most open source python ransomware isn't truely licensed as OSS or uses some lower functions written in C)
https://github.com/deadPix3l/... -
How do you deal with bad managers?
I'll give you an example. One of my managers requests a feature and then a week later claims it isn't working correctly, and asks me to change it again.
Another example, we were in a meeting and she requests a feature, then 5 seconds later requests something entirely different. It's like she didn't even remember what she requested 5 seconds ago. Everyone in the meeting saw it, but nobody said anything about it.
I'm on my way out of this company, but I'm just curious how other coders deal with it. I've watched this woman completely destroy 2 systems I've coded now.4 -
deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT -
I was in a hurry
this Asian chick grabbed me and not let me pass
I kept slinking out of her grip
she kept grabbing me again
I said "no I'm serious, I gotta go"
I pulled more violently
she fell on the floor
she pulled me down with her
she grabbed my legs
I started kicking her off
a kick to her shoulder dislocated it, but she kept going anyway
I'm trying to get up and kicking
I look back and now even her face is busted
yet she's still going at me, grabbing, pulling
what the fuck?
then the scene changes to a forest
we're in a band and trying to survive out there
by now the jig is up
encounter a person in a clearing, sledgehammer him in the face to disable him so he doesn't notice us
except that didn't do shit. his skull caved in, his bones are broken, but he's moving and moaning to try to get to you. he's not a zombie either. he's alive. looks perfectly alive. but his bones are broken and he's still moving and going. what the fuck do you do?
the bones start moving underneath his skin, he's just reorganizing and reinventing his body live
they're unkillable
the fuck you do now?
I used to have a lot of zombie dreams but what the fuck is this new shit3 -
It seems to me that we all keep posting the same images (normally geeky tech humour) or how programmers are seen by others etc... would it be useful to have an image gallery on devRant so that we can all post into it, lets face it we all love to see them. might stop the same images being posted over and over again .... Would have to be moderated though !
what do you think @dfox ?? -
At least pretend to have a reason for using checkboxes where the behaviour is obviously a single choice. I know I'm sometimes full of crap. I know I can waste so much time arguing for something I'm wrong about. At least I have arguments to support my approach, and I don't dismiss my mistakes. I don't need you to spend the next 5 minutes changing checkboxes for radio buttons in the mockup, it took dev 5 seconds to replace "checkbox" with "radio" and move on. However, I do need you to know what you're doing, even if it turns to be wrong.
I know this world celebrates people who can do things perfectly: models with perfect bodies, singers with perfect voices, sportsmen with perfect scores, students with perfect grades. I understand that's why you wish to try again so you can do it perfectly.
That's not what the world needs. The world needs people who know why they did what they did. It's drunk drivers who break down in the court, not serial killers. Serial killers know what they did, they know why they did it, and they believe it was the right thing to do; drunk drivers on the other hand had no idea what they did or why they did it, and they try to dismiss their wrongdoings by blaming them on alcohol, not getting a taxi, parking fees, the car, or some other circumstances.
So confront your bullshit for once. Stop searching for excuses to dismiss challenging ideas and prove you can defend your position. Otherwise, don't get angry when your "impeccable" ideas lose to someone who at least tries to defend their nonsense.3 -
!dev
when one of your best domains were taken for a long time and you didn't considered about buying or hijacking it or even thought about what you would even do with it because its taken anyway and you are not an asshole. But then out of nowhere you get an offer to get this domain. and you start thinking... what cool project you could do with it and what it may becomes - and what if your project fails and you wasted a great domainname... but ofcurse you stuggle for too long and the old owner bought it already back again, like he just forgot to renew it and didnt even cared about it that much.
congratulations. you now cant stop thinking about this cool project and what it could may be. instead you see someone else wasting it...
as if dev life is not depressing enough. back to localhost :( -
Happened way back when I was still in high school and facebook was relatively new. We used to own a cyber cafe.
--
The Guy: (Talking to other customers) I'll have you know that I'm a graduate in Computer Science! *Proceeds to boast about self and other bullshittery*
Others: *In awe*
Me: *Veeeery Skeptical*
A few days later...
The Guy: (Talks to me) Hey, there seems to be a problem with your internet. I can't log in on facebook.
Me: Could you try to do what you are doing again?
...
The Guy: See, doesn't work.
Me: Have you registered your account on facebook?
The Guy: Huh? What are you talking about? I have my Yahoo! mail.
Me: ..You need to register your email on facebook in order to log in.
The Guy: What?? I don't get it. I am registered and have a Yahoo! mail!
Me: *Brain Sigh*
(I proceed to help him register his email on facebook)
The Guy: Oh, you had to register on facebook! Now I get it! I thought that if you created an email you can immediately use that to log in to facebook.
Me: *Internal facepalm x1000*
(This guy is a Computer Science graduate? Oh PLEASE. ) -
My countries {South Africa} new favourite thing, you get a mail from a reqcruiter stating they have an opportunity for you and want you to forward your CV in Word format.
Dunno about you countries, but in mine 'word' is code for 'make it easier for use to fuck it up with the template we stole from the dogs shit after it ate its owners homework'.
So I rpelied ot one of them simply asking if I should not first be interestd in the position before them requesting my CV.
They basically typed out a longer version of the original mail, I still do not know what this great opportunity is that they want my CV for and not replying again. lol5 -
What to do when someone creates anger in me?
How do you guys deal?
I'm in college. Will it be useful in life later if I learn to swallow my anger? or Do I need to develop some mindset so I can't be affected by whatever anybody says to me or insults me.
One of my teachers scolded me in the examination hall because he didn't like my clothes. There were no rules regarding uniforms. I was not wearing revealing or torn clothes, just normal clothes.
I hate it when such things happen. It disturbs me. Even when the whole event is over, the whole thing plays in my mind again and again, sometimes for days.4 -
So yesterday I had to do some windows updates.
Today, I turn my laptop back on and notice I don't have sound.
Alright, I'll just see if I have some outdated drivers. Oh, I have 3, and one it's the sound driver! Cool, let me just update that. What do you mean I can't? Alright, let me try this app I have installed to see if it can update everything for me. It did, great!
Oh, but now the sound is coming from my earphones AND the speaker... Let me check the app again. Nothing. Let me check the drivers again. Detection verification is outdated. Alright, I'll just update that one, no big deal. Windows could not find drivers? Alright, let's see if windows update can find something! Nothing.
Okay, let's check sound definitions. What about troubleshooting? Still nothing?
Well, now I'm pissed. Let's see what the internet thinks I should do. Almost one hour later, I've tried everything I can think of and still can't fix this. Fml8 -
Sometimes i distance myself from extreme coding to develop intrest again in the work.
What are your thoughts do you guys lose interest sometimes?2 -
Person from a company I am contractor for tried to fuck me up and put me to the project with high money penalties without my will and behind my back.
I don’t understand those people.
You run a project do everything for them except delivering invoice to client and they try to fuck you anyway behind your or their client back.
You literally fight with people to give them money.
This all happened after me keeping their client project for almost 4 years.
Bell rings again to leave them this year after end of contract and don’t look back but I’m sad I need to leave nice client and application I was making for 4 years straight. I am oldest person in project probably only one that understands business behind it from ground up.
There was big rotation in project and knowing the company they will put some junior on my place that will break everything.
Well I still have some time to think ( maybe even couple of months) about what to do next besides taking some time off during this summer.
I am afraid that I rejected so many interesting offers during those 4 years nobody wants me and I got rusty with my stack I am no longer competitive.
I was unable to make anything during weekend and on Monday again cause of this shit.
Fucking people.4 -
I just literally hate the situation when I know what to do, BUT! There's actually always this invisible "But". '"But" you need to configure "that" first, "but" it can't be configured because of that "but" version that we have and that "but" version is incompatible with whole project and you need to go with this whole "BUTT" hell again'. Fucking hate those buts bruh....4
-
Last night I came back from work completely drained, as usual, and thought to myself - "I'll just lie down for a second..." Next thing my alarm wakes me up 12 hours later - "What the... Again?!?"
It was just my biannual collapse from exhaustion. Now I'm good to go for at least six more months. Yay...
This is what happens when you have been working only on "critical" and "we have to do this or the company sinks" projects (are there any other kinds anyway?) for the past 10 years with NO rest between jobs and NO leisure vacations taken...
Funnily enough, this event coincides with my futile biannual introspective analysis on things I did wrong in my life.
Now back to saving the company...2 -
This may get me some hate from y'all but let me make a confession here.
I have taken away clients from my previous bosses when they made the mistake of giving the client direct access to me outside the company.
It happened in 2019, my manager gave the client my phone number so they could directly call me and assign me tasks. Well, I left that company and took the client away with me. Heck, I even made more money for the next 4 months from the client than the company was paying me.
Again in 2023 when I left my job, I sent out LinkedIn requests to all members of the client's org, hoping that they'd remember me and reach out for projects. Well, 2 months into leaving the company, they did reach out and now I'm making 3X what I was making before.
I'd do it again in the future again and again. If YOU and I partner up to work for a client, I will make sure that you are out of the equation ASAP.
There, I said it. I've done it twice and I'll do it again in the future.4 -
Group project at uni, we're learning how to do scrum sprints. So here's a small story about all the ways it can go wrong.
We assign scrum master and product owner roles, what do those do? "We want to do design tho" they say two weeks later.
I end up doing the organization part and structuring the backlog.
"Alright, you guys will be the frontend team, your tasks are X and Y"
No response
One day before the review I ask again
"So, what's the status" (well knowing that they didn't do shit so far)
They start scrambling around, and manage to do like 30% of their tasks at best, I end up doing most of the work for them.
Next week, new sprint, our tutors somehow don't notice that literally 95% of the code has been written by me so far.
"Alright team, hopefully you will do better this time, so and so will be your subteam leader since he knows this stuff"
No response
Some guys start working on independent things without collaborating with each other, sometimes replicating stuff I already did (but obviously worse).
So that's the situation so far, I really would rather kill myself than keep working with these guys, jeeesus1 -
i had built up a great addiction to working out daily last year until i went on a trip to village on new gear and came back coughing hard. my cough thenlasted for a month followed by another trip followed by again coming back home and getting sick.
now its 3 months down this year, i am again healthy but haven't started hitting the gym nor do i feel motivated to :(
i mean, what is even the point of keeping your body in pain when it is as fragile and prone to diseases as it was when you were young :/ fucing shitty fragile body11 -
I've been working on a problem for the last few hours and not getting anywhere ... so here are a jokes ... coz im bored
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
-----
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
-----
I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid , it's ok I can stop when I want
-----
what type of monkey explodes - a Baboom
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my brother has. taken being sent to jail really. He has been refusing food and drink, spitting and scratching anyone who comes near and he smeared the walls with his s**t.
I'm not inviting him to monopoly night again. -
I just came across this strategy for the rate us section to avoid the lower ratings on the store.
When you click on rate us. It initially presents you with a 5 star with none filled up.
If you click on stars 1 to 3 then a feedback box pops up asking why I'm giving them less stars. Still letting to change them to 5 stars.
If I click on 4 or 5 stars then the app directly takes you to the play store listing where I need to press the 5 star again.
What do you think about this strategy?. Is it worth implementing??3 -
Hey, i am an idiot when it comes to web development and i wanted to kindly ask a question.
I am developing a blazor wasm webapp and i want to give the user some kind of onboarding process. the kind where some parts of the ui are highlighted with explanation on what which button does or area of ui is for.
how do you call something like that? I just need something to google for.
Thank you for your invaluable time and again sorry for my stupidy3 -
This is the sequel to my previous rant, if you don't know about it, go check my profile.
So, for some reason, when I opened YouTube Vanced, I am trapped into a loop of loading animation. And I thought "Hmm... Maybe my Internet sucks, let's try again.".
Then I switched my Internet on and off, go back to YouTube Vanced, the same loading animation loop.
Then I do switching the Internet for about 30 minutes, go back to YouTube Vanced, no progression.
Then I thought "What about YouTube?", I open Youtube, and you know what, YouTube loads it PERFECTLY. The loading animation takes longer than usual, but at the end, it still loads my recommendation and anything!
I thought "Wait, do they have an update?", then I go to Vanced Manager, and no, there is no new update for both Vanced and Vanced microG. There is a new update for Vanced Manager, though.
I decided to report a bug, but then I realized that the problem I am facing is too ambiguous for the developer to fix, so I decided not to do it.
So yeah, now I am sticking with YouTube, since I cannot find a solution better than it, and if you ask me, YouTube Vanced is still trapped in the loading animation loop.3 -
A friend of mine told me about his new job and his salary, it is lower then in his previous job. After i told him that this is not good and the negotiated salary in general is shit he wants to talk about it again with them. The interview process is done but he didnt sign the contract till now, right now he is waiting for it.
What do you think would be the best approach to get more money in this moment ?
Im sorry for bad grammar, im drunk and english is not my motherlanguage3 -
Company website created by a third party developers ( paid ) and after a year the new company team does not like the design and asks the inhouse developer hired to create internal apps ( develop office workflow related apps) to change the design of the website and not be paid for it (add new work to the list of works and not be paid extra).
And that they don't want to pay someone to do it again and when the dev ask them what they want in the website , it seems like they are focused on updating content ( which they have access with the wordpress admin panel they have been given ) and a bit of design changes which a dev would do within a few hours and they will have to pay v little for it.
Why does ppl think that devs have all the time in the world to do free stuff !!! and most of the times we are doing more that everyone else in the workplace combined and when we don't do something its like you are not corporating with us, u don't work much and u have too much free time. -
Only when the latest feature is implemented, the last bugfix and the last workaround are found, the last unit test is written, the latest CI/CD pipeline done, the customer guy does manual testing and acceptance tests on the staging server and let's them pass and a few days later it's pushed to production...
You will be reminded (again) that shitty customers do exist! A customer is the least capable person to tell you what the customer actually wants and is also the least trustworthy person to test the features he requested...
Holy fuck come on! Just test that shit on the staging Server! One Look could have already shown you that that's Not what you expected!
I checked the logs after that and yup you guessed correctly... The said endpoints weren't even used on staging, only on production...1 -
One of the most stupid phrases I hear again and again is "to not reinvent the wheel". Guess what, if no one had ever dared to take the first iteration of something, throw it out the window and start from scratch, we'd still be living in the stone age. If you're gonna use a library or a framework, fine, that's totally valid. Just make sure to actually understand the tools and code you're working on. People now tend to use these without knowing exactly what they do. And then once the original authors retire, no one knows what to do if something breaks. There can't be innovation if you don't try to reinvent. Don't shy away from writing from scratch sometimes.
-
My little journey of regrets:
I remember when I was fourteen, I opened a small gap the door of "programming". It were the first steps of html, tags and what they do, to be precise.
"May, looks good. Thanks for the glimpse. Cya"
For about the other half of my life only magic happened at my desktop.
And now I'm standing once again at the door of programming trying to breach it with nukes n shit.
"Giev me all the knowledge plx, teach me senpai! I will never ignore and betray you again!" -
How do you deal with situation when u need to merge multiple feature branches to develop branch? All feature branches have develop branch as base. So as soon as one feature is merged to develop then there will be contlicts in other feature branches.
Should I merge first feature branch to develop, then rebase feature2 branch on most recent develop and then merge the rebased feature2 branch to most recent develop and continue like that?
What if later I need to do hotfixes for previously merged branches? Should I revert them then rebase them on most recent develop and once again merge it to develop? Or should I just make small commits for fixes.10 -
There is only one life what you want do now only because we don't know after mixing in the mud again we will come to this earth or not. So Trust in your self work for your dreams and catch them.
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And so again I'm here asking for your opinions.
My old router (linksys EA6400) had a meltdown yesterday and decided to lose wifi connectivity every 4-5 seconds for 4-5 seconds each time. So it was like 5 ICMP packets pass and then 5 fail, and this pattern held up through the whole day.
Did a hard reset hoping it will help. Little did I know.. Do you even imagine how fun it was setting it up with randomly not working wifi? :D And this router can only be set up over wifi. I had to count seconds in my head predicting when it will start losing packets. Because when it does - the setup fails :)
yayy!!
So I guess it's time to start looking for a new one. I barely use ethernet ports (one for RPi). But I do need a good wifi. AC is a must. AX is not since none of my devices support it. I'd also like it to have open-source firmware, maybe accessible via shell (100% dd-wrt/open-wrt compatible). A USB port would be a plus (for the RPi).
Do you have any suggestions worth looking at?
What do you think about WRT3200ACM MU-MIMO?
Also I came across something called MESH ROUTERS (wtf is that?). http://linuxgizmos.com/low-cost-802.... Is it worth looking at?
What would YOU suggest?4 -
FFS EXCEL WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO BUGGY TODAY? WHAT DID I DO TO PISS YOU OFF?
constant plugin crashes
for some fucking reason the graphs wont re-paint unless i move them around AS IN NOTHING SHOWS UP WHILE TYPING UNLESS I PRESS ENTER, MINIMIZE EXCEL AND OPEN IT AGAIN -
And here it comes bois, the famous Monday Morning Mumbling is back, for everyone's pleasure.
Do you remember your uni years, when you had wonderful coding lessons, and you learned sick languages ?
I do aswell, since I'm still in uni.
But why, WHY, IN ALL OF GOD THOUGHTS, DO I STILL HAVE TO TAKE MATHS LESSONS ?
It's my fourth fucking uni year, and I'm still supposed to deal with math lessons which are about what I learned 6 years ago. And guess what ? I still failed the test since I fucking don't understand a single shit in maths.
"Uuuuh if yu wan tu derivate a function u hav to multiply ur derivated function basic expression with the derivate itself lul xDDD so funi"
FUCK OFF DUDES I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE SICK BIRD SHIT ABOUT MATHS. I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE LEARNING ABOUT BINARY TREES, MATHEMATICALS WAYS OF SPILLING YOUR CEREAL BOWL WHEN YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES, NUMERIC WAY OF OPTIMIZE YOUR SINK SPACE WHEN YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO DO THE DISHES, JUST LET ME FUCKING WRITE CODE INSTEAD OF ANNOYING ME WITH UNEXPLAINABLE MATHS SHIT NOW !
I know maths are important, okay ? But I'm so fucking tired of learning this shit again and again and still failing those shitty tests where they only give you maths problems without any other goal than messing with your grades.
Fuck this shit I'm pissed off on so many levels, I wasted tons of money on a private school to enhance my résumé history, and now I'm stuck with some strange "f'(x)" boi that will ruin my year.
RT's appreciated, if you recognised yourself in this story, don't forget to send some biscuits to my postal address.
TL;DR : Why wasting your time on theoritical lessons when you could use your time to learn new dynamic technos, like C++98 ?2 -
Swear some people just want you to do their fucking job as well, why the fuck would the connection strings need to change if the code doesn’t even reach that line maybe try looking again right at the top where it prints a message saying what arguments are required and try using them. Come on if your that stuck step through the lines 1 at a time from the start and it will all become blatantly fucking obvious
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Trying to use a certain library for my ORM needs. It seems that the devs 'forgot' to add decent documentation.
Also trying out another library to integrate with it. Again, no decent documentation.
It pisses me off how A LOT of Node.js libraries have the worst documentation ever, and if they do have some seemingly okay ones, they conveniently leave out the more complex functionalities. What do they want to achieve here? For people to head to their Github pages to sniff at the code?
Holy fucking shit. I hate you people. I even hate having to use these in the first place. -
how do you deal with the situations where you have no clue what happened in production ??
we have a Spark job and suddenly the job execution stopped in the middle without any error log. after sometime it started working again and all the master and workers were fine at that time.
now client wants RCA for that. 😟3 -
What are your opinions on antivirus programs?
I've just recently looked a bit deeper into it and it's scary how useless they've become... Especially signature based ones, as 82% of all malware only gets used once before they get changed again and 70% of them are only active for >1h.
Also, if you're able to google and have a slow sunday, you can easily write your own virus that won't be recognized by AV. It won't be a devilish masterpiece, but it'll work.
Do you think AV (especially paid ones) have a future?2 -
Just installed Visual Studio Code on my fresh machine and finally got the chance again to cherry pick extensions and themes :D
What Extensions and Themes have you installed and which do you frequently use?(doesn't matter for which programming language)2 -
My task is to create a form for posting customer details to the server.
I've spent almost 2 days on the UI.
I mean, it doesn't look like I've been doing much if you consider the UI only, but I've been testing many scenarios of what works best, but unfortunately, the boss only cares about the code, and not how many concepts that have been tested.
So what the form basically does is if you click on the edit button, the inputs field will occur, and if you click on it again it will remove the lines around the input field for better presentation of the data.
How do you show to someone the work you've done, do you write notes or show them the code?3 -
So the question is:
is there any better alternative to material ui?
mui is powerful, but I see no good in it in the field of customization.
You can't do shit without searching smth like: "how to remove the ::before in that mui component"
and getting some answer like:
"oh you can't do that with css! you should use that prop and shit or you should config your library in a way which you can remove ::before"
FFS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
I JUST WANT TO WRITE MY BORING CSS AGAIN11 -
If you’re an employee on-call over a weekend (specifically last weekend, new years) do you put it on your timesheet? What if nobody calls though? 16 hours of pay..?
Just asking because I was on call last weekend and then they got pissed I wouldn’t work again this weekend. I just wonder if they forgot or something?
Our product literally has been on fire, practically melting down, for a few years now apparently so that is why I am asking here.12 -
Spent like all week working on a feature set in a web app, finally got to a point where i thought it was functioning well, ran tests, tests passed.
I was exhausted but happy. All along i have been pushing to my GitLab server. I save my commits and even though exhausted, i am happy as i go to bed.
I wake up, run some errands and my business partner says, eh! Can i come see that new feature set you built, sure, i will be home soon.
I was at the barbershop, trying to look like a human being again. I get home boot my computer and i scream.....
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
I check GitLab, i check my Git Log and i start to sweat, i was in the air conditioner but it felt like someone turned the heat up.
Git log shows my last commit was 2 days ago, my app is at the state it was 2 days ago and i can't frigging find all i have built.
I need to show this to the client, have no idea what to do now, so stressful. My partner say, you know what, just watch a movie. You built it before, you will do it again.
This happened to him a while ago and i gave him similar advice, it felt wicked hearing it now.
Anyways, i have to build that ish all over again, i do know i wasn't dreaming about having built it. I asked my wife and she said, i did, i was always working. So confusing.
Anyone experienced this before, i have no idea how to find my code.
Help Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee4 -
How many of you have experienced workplace burnout before? What did you do that helped you deal with and recover from it? What did you do to prevent it from happening to you again?1
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So trunk-based is the new approach everyone is using, because it is so cool.
I used gitflow for the last projects with azure devops, set up the pipelines like tipically in 1 week if I had other things to do with the help of the portal clicking through things. PR-s triggered pipelines, everything worked cool.
But then trunk-based got momentum, so I worked with this client where 2 developers worked for !!!3 months!!! to setup trunk-based pipeline. It was not my money, so I did not say a thing. They were using infrastructure as code.
I am all in for automation, but seriously? Then again, another project where a DevOps team took 1 dev-month to setup the pipeline + meetings. And what do you get in the end? So that the same image goes on all environments? Like how many releases do you have for prod in a year. Lets say 24. 24 x 5 minutes of manual work for the release, that is 2 hours. So my question is why would you spend 2 hours of manual work while you can automate it merely in a month? Everyone loves to code, but using the ui on the DevOps portal saves you so much time. I don't get this. Maybe I am getting old :D4 -
Upgrading my tech skills.. Once again I feel my personal my personal dev environment and told are much more up-to-date than what I use at work.... Though the book Kim reading is on TDD and was written 3 years ago.
Maybe I should read another on in cloud services and ML... but don't have any motivation for these topics.
I need TDD for work because now we're emphasizing unit test coverage...
I usually only use manual functional tests to verify the final outputs as either the testing framework is broken (JS) or I don't have time to relearn the frameworks for the particular language...
Anyway got off topic... So questions after:
1. Do you ever feel your technologically always more ahead than what you do at work and essentially you bring skills to the job but you don't learn much out of it?
2. How do you test? I actually got into a bit of a argument/discussion with my colleagues about how to implement unit tests. Apparently there are 2 ways to test? Black box vs WhiteBox. She said she tests only Public methods using mock inputs, dependencies. She read online and seems there is an opinion that should only test public functions and if you can't then your app is designed incorrectly, not separated enough.
For me I test the private functions individually (WhiteBox/Java reflection) because the public one is like generateReport and as a whole is like a Pachinko machine, too many unique paths that would need a test case for.
So thoughts? Yes sorry for turning it into a remake I guess...24 -
You guys probably use slack at work. Or teams. But what about using discord? Would it be a good idea to use a discord server and create and manage clients' projects that way? Its free and simple to do. I have the most experience with discord even coding custom discord hooks.
For example I'd categorize each project by discord categories, and within each category I'd have channels such as general, ui, coding etc so engineers team project managers designers and clients can communicate in real time.
The biggest downside to this approach is... Discord allows maximum 50 categories per server. What if i have more than 50 projects to work on? I wouldn't be able to create a new category for that project. The growth and scalability of a company is limited thst way. That's what sucks. I'd have to create a brand new server and repeat this cycle again. And each server having max 50 projects. This doesnt sound very efficient right?
Is there a better way? Or do i have to use slack?24 -
How do all you other devs deal with sleep? Because I am losing my fucking mind I work for myself so I don't go to work at 9am leave at 6pm.
I normally work until 6am and then sleep till 12 drink 3 strong coffee to start functioning again try and do something productive which at the moment involves catching up on the NBA playoffs and then starting work at 6pm.
Due to resent baby I thought shit my life is fucked I haven't left the house in 3 days I need structure routine I need to work 9am to 6pm become human again but I just can't FUCKING sleep it's now 1:30am and I'm trying to sleep.
I know what your thinking why are you on devRant but I've been trying to sleep for the past 3 hours but all I can think about is work code, refactoring, new languages, security, support shit that can wait but I can't get it out my head, keep thinking "ah your not tired you could work", and YES I have a list which get bigger every day wish I had a drug dealer or was still in contact with my old mates so I could get some Valium but it's hot milk and sleeping tablets for me, life is so much easier when you can just fuck of home at the end of the day and forget about work, not having your laptop next to you trying to trick you into opening it. How do other people who work for theirselves deal with the life work balance?4 -
!rant
So, does anyone here play Screeps? If so, what do you guys think of it, and i what language do you write code for it?
I am currently on the fence about picking it up again because fuck JS. If i can manage to get C# to compile to that game without crashing performance like a sinking submarine i would probably try it again. -
You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!! -
So our teacher is telling us to join some kind of competition thing that the government creates, and uhh, when I went to the website, sign up with a separate account that I will probably never use once again in my whole life, and then I notice that when you click to the TOS link in the "I agree with the TOS", it does... nothing, yes, it doesn't lead you to an actual TOS page or anything, it just teleports you up, what?????, did you just create a fking TOS link and it doesn't actually lead to anywhere else? Then why do it anyway? Also, you can literally find a TOS template with some English keyword and then plastered it on some obscure page and then use the TOS link to lead to that one instead of blatantly do nothing. Also, I noticed that they use a authentication service called Eids Authentication. Who the fk is this guy? Why don't you just use something already popular like Auth0? They have way better UI/UX than whatever that is and supports way more platform logins like Google and Faxbook which are more familiar to us.
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Nothing quite so frustrating as intellij resetting your code styles. You put them back as best you can and they get put back to default again.
So you log in to every computer you use, disable settings sync, and do it AGAIN only to find some of your code styles settings aren't even available anymore. So now you have to be extra careful formatting a document doesn't change things you've had just the way you wanted for years.
But realistically, what other option does a person have?6 -
Whoo Hoo!!! one more day till school ends for 2 week christmas break yeee i can finnaly make a mod menu with android studio and apks no importing them with java only overclockedgd is doing that with his andlua, [Java + lua] , While flu and norovirus + corona is coming to be exploding and giving people the chocolate squirts my gf is gonna try to give herself noro so i can spend more time with her and take care of her she did that last 2 years i hope she isnt gonna get it again..last year was hell What are you guys gonna do on christmas break?3
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I am so fucking done with Webstekker. This is one bad fucked up webhosting company in The Netherlands. In the past we had so many issues: managed hosting websites getting hacked (you can brute force.ftp etc they don't monitor anything), not restoring db views after they migrate a db server, week down time because they fucked something up etc. Last 2 years were ok but today I discovered that one of my money making adsense websites is running on a cms database from another website!! What the fuck?!! I haven't touched that site for at least 2 years and it was running fine.
No Webstekker I don't want to check all of ny websites every day to see if everything works properly. I want to trust you to do a proper managed hosting job. But you retards have proven to be incapable over and over again.
That said, anyone here can recommend a good, solid, trustable Dutch webhosting company for asp.net hosting on Windows?
I do run other sites on VPS but that is much more work for me and don't want to manage all (small) websites myself but unstead rely on a solid company with competent people to do that for me. -
What do you think, how useful is an academic degree in computer science? I just read again that due to the shortage (here in Germany) companies are lowering the entry hurdles even further.14