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Management : "How long you think it would take?"
Me : "now this is a rough estimate, but I think building the back-end and database alone could take 6-months minimum"
Management : "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS"
me : "its a big proj..."
Management : "I thought it will be something like 10 days, already told the client it can be done"
me : "but we are not ready"
Management : "how are we not ready? we already have the virtual 3D shop, and we can use this ready-to-deploy eCommerce service as our data base "
... "you need to figure this out, this is not acceptable" he continued
* 2 Days Later -talking to my direct boss *
Boss : "since you don't know how to do it..."
me : "what ? I didn't say I can't do it, all I said it will take six months"
Boss : "yeah yeah, anyway there is this studio, a professional polish studio, we called them and they can do it, we will sign a contract with them, this will let you focus on the front-end. good?"
me : "well alright then"
Boss : "please write a doc, explaining everything needed from the backend"
-to me that was the end of it, took a long time to tell me they made the deal-
* 5 Months later *
- "Abdu, can you come here for a minute..."
- "yes boss?"
- "the document we asked you to do for the Polish studio, did you specify that we needed an integration with the API we are using for eCommerce?"
scared to death I answered : "why of course I did!"
I ran to my PC to check it out because I didn't know, I forgot because no one even comment on my doc. I check it out, and it was clearly explained... I got relaxed...
turns out they didn't even do what we asked them for. took them 5 months, and with no communication whatsoever. all their work was useless to us. complete dump waste.
never mentioned this until a year later... in a heat of moment when they were asking me to make an impossible task with no men and no time... I reminded them of this story... management didn't like it. but it was the truth. they didnt push this crazily this time13
This is more just a note for younger and less experienced devs out there...
I've been doing this for around 25 years professionally, and about 15 years more generally beyond that. I've seen a lot and done a lot, many things most developers never will: built my own OS (nothing especially amazing, but still), created my own language and compiler for it, created multiple web frameworks and UI toolkits from scratch before those things were common like they are today. I've had eleven technical books published, along with some articles. I've done interviews and speaking engagements at various user groups, meetups and conferences. I've taught classes on programming. On the job, I'm the guy that others often come to when they have a difficult problem they are having trouble solving because I seem to them to usually have the answer, or at least a gut feel that gets them on the right track. To be blunt, I've probably forgotten more about CS than a lot of devs will ever know and it's all just a natural consequence of doing this for so long.
I don't say any of this to try and impress anyone, I really don't... I say it only so that there's some weight behind what I say next:
Almost every day I feel like I'm not good enough. Sometimes, I face a challenge that feels like it might be the one that finally breaks me. I often feel like I don't have a clue what to do next. My head bangs against the wall as much as anyone and I do my fair share of yelling and screaming out of frustration. I beat myself up for every little mistake, and I make plenty.
Imposter syndrome is very real and it never truly goes away no matter what successes you've had and you have to fight the urge to feel shame when things aren't going well because you're not alone in those feelings and they can destroy even the best of us. I suppose the Torvald's and Carmack's of the world possibly don't experience it, but us mere mortals do and we probably always will - at least, I'm still waiting for it to go away!
Remember that what we do is intrinsically hard. What we do is something not everyone can do, contrary to all the "anyone can code" things people do. In some ways, it's unnatural even! Therefore, we shouldn't expect to not face tough days, and being human, the stress of those days gets to us all and causes us to doubt ourselves in a very insidious way.
But, it's okay. You're not alone. Hang in there and go easy on yourself! You'll only ever truly fail if you give up.44
We've noticed we gave you the wrong product prices for our new online shop.
Yeah, just login to the backend and fix them.
But we don't want to use your fancy backend, we'll be using anyway soon - we want EXCEL!
Could you send us an EXCEL, so we can fix that?
How much will this cost?
Sure... here you are.
Not that much, takes about an hour.
Great, you'll hear from us in a few days.
(a few months later...)
We've finally managed to update the EXCEL. And btw, we've also added a bunch of columns with product pictures and new properties, highlighted products to delete red, inserted some comments with manual instructions and basically destroyed the entire data structure of this table.
Before I forget... also make sure to get this finished today, we have to go live ASAP. Our marketing campaign is already live.
Well, I'm sorry to say this, but this is not possible.
I'm currently working on another project and it will take me hours to clean up the data you sent me, before even starting to build an import tool for the new data you provided. Better stop the campaign and I'll do my best to get this done by the end of the week. Also it may be a bit costly.
(angry client calls immediately...)
(dev transfers to manager...)
(client transfers to client's boss...)
Ok Dev, I think I was able to explain it to them. However, it would be great if you spend day and night to get this thing out ASAP.
I'll just do it by hand to get this out immediately.
(few days later; nearly done, exhausted)
Hey Dev, here's another EXCEL.
We've just noticed there were a bunch of errors in the previous one. Please use this instead...19
so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable45
This is not a rant, but I just wanted to share some good news! My brother and I have launched an app called Programmer’s Music. It contains our favourite music tracks and tracks suggested by some of our developer/creative colleagues. It’s for listening to music while coding. We have also integrated Pomodoro time management method in it. It’s ad-free and FREE. :) Please check out the app at https://promusic.tech/2mJrw8A. Feel free to leave an honest feedback.
Please feel free to leave us a message with your favourite tracks and we will add them. Please share it, follow on Twitter and/or like our Facebook page. Thank you so much!
Thank you, everyone.
PS.- Atom editor fans would ❤ it.64
Fucking hell. Today we reviewed candidates for a web dev position. I already fucking know that here we ain't gonna get a top motherfucker, i already know that the person selected will have to be rigorously trained AND THAT IS FUCKING FINE WITH ME.
The thing is, fucking head of the departmen was hellbent on just grabbing people with the highest education possible setting aside lack of experience. I would not have minded if it weren't because we have a secretary that applied...that got her degree in our very own institution and that has worked with our CMS admin creating web stuff. She is smart and has the drive man, and i don't even like her, but i could see her being in the position, being trained and doing good.
Hod said no, because of her lack of education and experience.....BRUH she got her associate's at OUR SCHOOL wtf do we have students go through it if we ain't gonna hire them if they intend on applying to work with us like wtf might as well advertise that: the degree provided by this institution is not good enough to work with us :D that would be 3000 for those two classes thank u.
Holy fuck i was beyond upset man, if i am to train these fuckers might as well be someone that i know will give it her all and studied with us. Dude quoted favoritism and i said that i was just going by the data that i have on her holy fuck.11
HR people working in tech companies, let's talk about them...
*phone rings and I pick up*
HR Lady: Hi, this is [name] from [company]. I'm calling you regarding your application you submitted [some date 2 months ago!].
Me: *realizing that I've applied 2 freaking months ago* Hmmm OK....
HR Lady: Yes, well, we asked for your GitHub account, but you seem to have forgotten to provide it.
Me: *open up the email and see that I've sent them my GitLab account* Well, I have the email right here and I did send you a git account. I mean, it's not GitHub specifically but it's a GitLab account, pretty much the same thing, you should be good with that.
HR Lady: OK, let me put you on hold for a minute.
*2-3 minutes passes*
HR Lady: Hi sir, I've asked my colleague [which I suppose is another HR] and he told me that they're not the same thing, we cannot proceed until you give us the right link, you need to send us a link to your GitHub account.
Me: I mean, they aren't the SAME EXACT thing, but both companies provide essentially the same service, it's like Messenger and WhatsApp. Look, I'm pretty sure that if you give this to another programmer they'll be fine.
HR Lady: No, Messenger and WhatsApp aren't the same thing. Sir, please stay polite. We need a GitHub account not a GitLab account.
Me: *mumbling* Oh boy.... M'am, it's OK, I don't need the job anyway, I've found something. Two months is a long time and I needed something quickly. Thank you, have a good day.6
Here's a recent interview I had for an Android Developer job:
I: Interviewer, M: Me
I: hello, welcome
M: hi, thanks
I: do you know Kotlin?
M: yes, I've been working with it for 1.5 years and have written 3 projects in it
I: do you know RxJava, Dagger, Retrofit, and how to make Custom Views?
M: yes, I'm comfortable with them *explains*
I: do you know Room?
M: yes I do, I've done a lot of practices in it, but unfortunately have never needed to use it in production
I: what architecture do you use? Do you know MVP?
M: I'm currently using MVVM, but not MVP. I've debugged projects in it so I know what's going on in it
I: ok, do you have any questions for us?
M: how did I do?
I: I'm sorry sir, but you're not even a junior here
M: what? Why is that?
I: well you don't know Room and MVP?
M: I said I know them, just haven't used them in production.
I: well you have 3 years of experience but you dont even know Kotlin!
M: Kotlin was your first question and I said I have 3 projects in it. Did you even check the samples you asked for in the job posting?
I: SIR YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT FOR US, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
I'm a victim of rather severe child abuse, both physical and mental. I've cut my mother out of my life on several occasions, and disowned her husband on father's day a few years ago. Whenever they're in my life they make things slowly but significantly worse.
They'd been using my previous hard times to push their way into my life again, and are now trying to buy their way in -- this time not into my life, but into my 2yo son's life.
I've done everything I could to keep his existence from them. I hid pregnancy from them, dropped any mew mannerisms and cute vocabulary when speaking to them, never let them see toys or hear sounds if I needed to call them, hid the carseat, etc. I did a perfect job. Out of necessity I've been hiding my life from them since I was 13, and I've never done better than this.
But they knew his name, sex, and age. This means they went digging, and a bloody lot. There is literally no public info relating him to me, and nobody that knows us would tell them, either -- they all know and understand.
For years I've refused to tell these people where I lived, too. We've been here for over five years, and three years ago they just randomly showed up at our door. I never gave them an address, and the house isn't in my name. I never had any privacy when I lived with them, either -- literally not even in the bathroom -- but now we have our own house and they still randomly intrude? asldhflakshdf
But. This Christmas Eve, we got two large boxes (fruit flats) stacked full of presents from them. A third for me, a third for my girlfriend, and a third for my 2yo. Name tags and all.
Why can't they just leave us alone? On Christmas of all holidays? Why do they have to ruin everything? Why can't they just go away?
I've made things abundantly clear, and they just. won't. stop. I feel so angry and exasperated and helpless and trapped. I went from listening to "die in a fire" to crying helplessly on the stairs. All I want is to be left alone and not harassed and blackmailed and manipulated and guilted and given expired food as "gifts."
and before you ever even think to defend them, please re-read my first three sentences.
Merry fucking Christmas.44
So many people are applying for computer science majors that it's making me nervous.
My classmates don't know shit about tech yet almost all of them are applying for CS. It's even the most popular ranked major in the US.
I don't think I stand a chance against them. They all have higher GPAs than me, and they participate in clubs and sports.
If those cave people get accepted I'm not going to be too happy about it.63
Working with a radio chip we selected because it had built-in encryption. Cannot make the encryption work, thus in contact with the manufacturer:
"- I cannot make the encryption work, it's like the chip doesn't want to take a key.
- which key do you use?
- does it matter?
- well yes, you can't just use any key!
- why not?
- you need to get an approved key from us.
- why is that?
- so that your competitors can't read your data!
- so the way to get working keys is to get them from you?
- of course!
- keys are 256 bits. Can we potentially use all of them?
- OF COURSE NOT!
- how many can we get from you?
- one! We reserve it from your company.
- are you telling me that all units within a company will need to have the exact same encryption key?
- so anyone with our product could eavesdrop another same product?
- well yes, but it's all within your own products.
- that's not how encryption is supposed to work.
- but it's safe, your competitors cannot eavesdrop!
- I'm out of here."
(We finally found a satisfactory work-around, but i am still pissed at them)10
Remain calm, don’t freak out, remain calm, don’t freak out.
Ok, so my sort of new manager (had a slightly different manger-ish role on the team), has for the third time in as many months, just sent an email criticizing the dev team for our working from home-ness (which for the record has not been that bad, 2/3 or 3/3 have been in everyday for the past month)
In this same period, there has been late nights, weekends, successful releases, I’ve been invited to talk at a conference about my work (not a particularly big one, but still). Point is, everything is going well, very well in fact.
There has been no emails discussing our great work, thanking us for extra work, thanking us for picking up slack from other teams who are down a few people etc. no our major concern it seems is the “optics” of our team not being present in the open space.
Our contracts list flexible working hours, and his boss has frequently told us WFH is fine when things are too busy. But no he is complaining for us to get our hours in the office in line and make sure we are in the office more.
It’s been a particularly long and frustrating week, and I’m very tempted to inform him that if he is concerned about my chair and desk looking empty, that I can put them somewhere for him where they will always be occupied until a surgeon can remove them.
However, thanks to the deep breaths, I’ve managed to restrain myself long enough to run this past you all first and ask advice.
This is super childish but it's the gameserver insidstry and karma is a bitch.
TLDR: I hacked my boss
I was working for a gameserver and I did development for about 3 months and was promised pay after the network was released. I followed through with a bunch of dev friends and the guy ended up selling our work. He didn't know that I was aware of this as he tried to tell people to not tell us but one honest person came forward and said he sold our work for about 8x the price of what he owed ALL OF US collectively.
I proceeded to change the server password and when he asked why he couldn't log in I sent him an executable (a crypted remote access tool) and told him it was an "encryption tunnel" that makes ssh and file transfers secure. Being the idiot that he is he opened it and I snagged all of his passwords including his email and I changed them through a proxy on his machine to ensure I wouldn't get two factored with Google. After I was done I deleted system 32 :338
Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):
1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.
2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:
3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.
Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.15
In our office, everyone is placed so that we have a wall behind us. Initially, there was enough room behind us so that we can walk just fine.
Everything was fine till our manager didn't start making us some random visits and standing behind us just looking at our screens and making us feel unpleasant.
So one day we moved the tables so there is almost no room behind us. And we are aligned in a row with no space between the tables. Now if the manager decided to do it again he would have to struggle his way behind us.
Few days passed by and our manager finally showed he saw what we did, didn't say anything. It was clear that he wasn't happy about it. He tried to lean himself over the monitors to take a look but that was just not so as "good" as standing behind us...
A time passed and one day when we came to work we saw the tables moved forward some 15-20cm just enough to be able to move behind. Almost immediately we pulled them back as they were before.
We moved back and forward already few times and are currently playing cat and mouse with our manager.
Noone is saying anything just the tables are moving every 2-3 days or so. Let's see who is going to give up first hahaha13
Me: *listening to some random semi-obscure track on spotify, liking it, add it to playlist*
Come home, girlfriend playing the same track. "Yeah I've had that in my playlist for two weeks now". Our accounts are not linked in any way, and I only use Spotify on a PC at work, while my girlfriend only uses it at home.
It might just be coincidence, or us having similar tastes.
But the issue is that it's getting more and more difficult to know whether me and my girl are spiritually linked unique snowflake soulmates who are so perfectly in sync with each other, or whether an algorithm suggestively linked us both that song based on scraped location and behavior data.
And whether it matters. Maybe it matters. I don't know yet.
In twenty years maybe humans will be unsure whether it was a wonderful coincidence bordering on cosmic fate that you ran into your new love, or whether Google purposefully drove you towards the same lunch cafe at a specific time because it calculated that she was the perfect candidate to strengthen your susceptibility to advertisements over the coming decade.
Malicious AI will not come into lives bearing guns.
It will not instantly take all of our jobs and enslave us.
It will just know you better than you know yourself, it will know everyone around you better than you know them, and it will play incredible mind games. It will not be designed with malicious intent, just perfectly execute on top of the malicious systems we already have, and even arise as an emergent property within new systems.
It will rarely be clearly visible, but you will increasingly say to yourself: "That's odd, I was just thinking about that". It will detect depression from a smile, physical attraction from a glance, reliability from patterns in your voice and illness from the bloodflow in your cheeks.
It will not just make our cars autonomous, it will make our lives autonomous. It will protect us, decide for us, keep revenues and human satisfaction in a "balanced maximized" state, it will make everything feel easy, slightly abuse us, and when one of us suddenly crashes at 140 mph into depression, debt or addiction it will prove impossible to know whether the humans or the algorithms were at fault.
I'm incredibly afraid and excited about the coming 10 years.13
Newspaper: This CEO is one of the top entrepreneurs in the country, a true tech visionary shaping the future.
--- 3 months previous ---
Lead dev: O2 have said they are will pre-install the app on all their Androids but they need documentation from us.
CEO: documentation? on what?
Lead dev: Our unit test coverage, bugs found / fixed, security scan results, performance assessment, if and where its storing any data etc.
CEO: Ah were not doing any of that crap, bloody unit tests, its not necessary, tell them no.
lead dev: ..... eh ok
... true visionary, well done to everyone involved.3
Story of my most useless meeting?
Too many to mention. Here's one. Years ago a new HR associate was specifically hired to better engage the workforce. About once a week, she conducted about an hour to two hour meetings which consisted of every 'touchy-feely' idea you could think of. I swear any day I was going to walk into a meeting and do the "fall back into your partner" trust exercises.
One particular meeting, 'Betty' engaged us with the topic of what keeps us motivated, and I was a little more annoyed than usual because I was behind on a system critical project and these meetings were mandatory.
User1: "Knowing I make customer satisfaction my number one priority."
User2: "The strong sense of accomplishment I feel by doing my best"
<you could almost hear Betty's gasp>
Betty: "Oh, no, money shouldn't be the motivator. Money is like icing on the cake. Tell us what keeps you happy and engaged."
<other users nod their heads in engagement>
Me: "Again, money."
User3: "I can't...ugh..I don't believe..oh..why would you say that? I think being part of such a great team is payment enough."
<more nodding of heads>
Me: "Do you work for free? I don't. None of us do. Would any of you keep doing your jobs here if you weren't getting paid?"
Betty: "That is really not the point of this meeting."
Me: "Sure it is. I'll bet if Order Taking starting providing bonuses for positive after-call surveys, employee satisfaction would go through the roof. Anyone else like that idea?"
Betty: "Your attitude isn't helping this discussion. Lets move on."
Me: "Lets not. In 20?? the Gartner group performed a study where they 'discovered' the primary motivator for employees was money. You want employees to perform better, you pay them. It is really that simple."
<I could see the looks of "Its OK to speak my mind?" and others wanting to speak up>
Betty: "Moving on. Lets go over the company core values again and discuss how they enrich our lives at work and at home."
I kept quiet for the rest of the meeting.
The poop hit the fan, and my boss pulls me into a conference room
Boss: "Betty is really pissed at you. She went directly to the VP of HR"
Me: "Good. Does this mean I don't have to attend the enrichment meetings?"
Boss: "Yea, that was her idea of punishment. Lucky bastard."10
Senior development manager in my org posted a rant in slack about how all our issues with app development are from
“Constantly moving goalposts from version to version of Xcode”
It took me a few minutes to calm myself down and not reply. So I’ll vent here to myself as a form of therapy instead.
- You frequently discuss the fact that you don’t like following any of apples standards or app development guidelines. Bit rich to say the goalposts are moving when you have your back to them.
- We have a custom everything (navigation stack handler, table view like control etc). There’s nothing in these that can’t be done with the native ones. All that wasted dev time is on you guys.
- Last week a guy held a session about all the memory leaks he found in these custom libraries/controls. Again, your teams don’t know the basic fundamentals of the language or programming in general really. Not sure how that’s apples fault.
- Your “great emphasis on unit testing” has gotten us 21% coverage on iOS and an Android team recently said to us “yeah looks like the tests won’t compile. Well we haven’t touched them in like a year. Just ignore them”. Stability of the app is definitely on you and the team.
- Having half the app in react-native and half in native (split between objective-c and swift) is making nobodies life easier.
- The company forces us to use a custom built CI/CD solution that regularly runs out of memory, reports false negatives and has no specific mobile features built in. Did apple force this on us too?
- Shut the fuck up6
Ex-boss (who boasted 20 years of programming exp.) Would not let us work on a web project saying we didn't have enough experience and said he'd do it alone... Fast forward to 3 days before presenting to client, we get to check the log in interface and immediately find that there's no actual security, no validation... Just 2 text boxes with hard coded users and no way to add more without creating them in db... And if you knew the next page's URL you can actually skip the login... Needless to say he was removed from the project that instant and we (interns at the time) had to do everything from scratch. A 3 months project done in 2 days. Never been more stressed in my life :'(11
TL;DR: If you're an Android user, do yourself a favour and check out https://simplemobiletools.com/ . You're welcome.
Dear diary, today was a good day.
A small part of my faith in humanity was recovered after I found about Tibor Kaputa.
Apparently, this guy - like many of us - was fed up with the bloat, bugs, bullshit and 'features' of many of the stock Android apps that come preinstalled on most phones. And so, he decided to make his own.
Unlike most of us however, he actually pulled through. And then he made them open source.
No bullshit permission requirements.
No ads or tracking.
And no, not just 'toggle white/dark mode', I'm talking 'pick your own color scheme', both within the app and for the app icon (!).
And then sync your colour scheme across the entire suite of apps (!!).
Simple UI, with a lot of customizable settings.
And if you get them from f-droid, it's all completely free as in BEER too!
I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to find software that does what it's supposed to do well, without trying to pull any sneaky bullshit in the background or annoy me with crap that I don't care about in a miserable attempt to show off its useless features.
I'm not a fan of Medium myself either, but the author's article about how his suite of apps was born really resonated with me. If you care about privacy, open source software, and doing things right, you should really give it a read: https://medium.com/@tibbi/...
I'm particularly a fan of the Gallery, the File Manager, and the Music player apps, and the others don't look half bad either.14
So we where given a project with a deadline already set behind our backs and we have to give our deadline despite not knowing wtf we have to do exactly ...
They asked us to don't ask too much time because the budget can't afford too much time...
I'm here thinking: WTF?!
THEY PASSED A FUCKING DEADLINE AND PRICES TO THE FUCKING CLIENT WITHOUT ASKING ANY! ANY MOTHERFUCKING DEV ABOUT IT!!!
We asked them so many fucking questions on the first meeting that they were fucking baffled about everything but kept playing cool like "well, this project is already set and we are gonna have to deal with it"
Bunch of motherfucking stupid cock suckers , go die agonizing on your own vomit and if ask my help I'm gonna answer "well, you gonna have to deal with it because you are already fucked"2
My words to live by...
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of
the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.
I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain
for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms.
Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is
cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is
sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is
"This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to
them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...
You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at
school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or
ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying
for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and
you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek
after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.
You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us
and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual,
but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
The most pissed off I've been at work?
Client X came to us for a website.
We secretly outsourced the work.
Client X is coming for a visit in 10 mins...
MD to me: "I've told them your lead dev on this. They're not super-technical so if they ask you about the project just tell them it's going well."
Now I'm not a comfortable blagger, I don't have that kind of confidence, so to ask me to lie like this makes me feel really stressed and uncomfortable. Furthermore, I had literally no idea about any aspect of the work we were supposedly doing for this client. I can barely contain my panic but my colleagues help me piece together a basic understanding.
The MD returns: "They're here now. Can you quickly go and check that the toilets are clean."
WHAT THE FUCK!? The little prick. I'd knock him out if wasn't so meek and pathetic. I tell myself that I'm being helpful and nice but in truth I'm just his fucking doormat and he has zero respect for me.
I have no problem cleaning stuff (we all basically tidy up behind us) but this is something he could have done. Furthermore, who cares? None of us leave the loos with piss on the floor and shit smeared across the walls. They're never anything less than client-ready so to ask me to check means that he's already checked them himself and one of the loos is not quite shiny enough.
The reader may feel that this is no big deal (and in some ways you're right) but everything about this scenario was fucked up. The MD had embroiled the whole company in a lie and assumes we're all okay with that, then to add insult just nonchalantly orders me to clean the bogs. The cunt.
FWIW The client didn't ask to talk to me or use the toilet during their visit.8
Had a follow up meeting today to resolve the issue of Product ignoring our comments about possible issues, better ways to do it etc.
- We are allowed to suggest to Product that they might be doing something wrong
- We are not allowed to tell product they are doing something wrong
- If Product don’t listen, that’s fine, we will document our comments to protect us later.
Product are too sensitive to have a conversation with. We are now going to let them fuck everything up, make some notes and say “I told you so” at a later date.
Maturity at its finest ladies and gentlemen.5
Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering
The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left
Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.
Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.
Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.
I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work
They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.
I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.
The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.
/Rant about trash humans10
Buddy from dept I was in 4 years ago: Check your email.
10 mins later
Buddy: Can you join a webex now?
Buddy: OK, I'll forward the details, join when you can.
Me: Could you give me a little context?
Buddy: You helped them pull a cert off a USB stick in Switzerland last year (I'm in US).
Me: Don't think I did.
When I get a chance to read email chain, half of it is in German (I don't read it). Have not idea what this is about, but there seems to be a newer one that says it was resolved.
Me to Buddy: Looks like it was resolved.
Buddy: Yes, but they're still mad at you.
Buddy: Because you wrote that app and it's hard to update the certs.
Me: I wrote that app as a favor, the dev they hired spent 6 months rewriting 3 SQL queries before being fired.
Buddy: LOL, well I guess they don't like the cert part.
Me: OK, but when I turned it over to them it didn't have a cert at all, I have no idea what the feature is.
Buddy: They said you help them last year.
Me: I didn't.
Buddy: Well they still think it's all your fault.4
I am trying to understand something for a while. devRant is full of privacy advocates and to be honest, part of it is almost taken by a group of people that call other people random swear words people because they are using a particular product of a company.
I will raise some points and will try to discuss them with other people in comments.
I will stick with Google. Since it looks like it's the most hated one. A company that has built one of the most intelligent infrastructure, the most popular mobile operating system and of course, the best search engine currently available.
The problem everyone sees is the privacy. Google tracks the search history to give users a better experience and show relevant ads. You might not need this "better experience". In case you don't know, you can turn off personalized search any time to make sure Google doesn't track. Same goes with Google Chrome, you can turn off all the data it is sending to servers in settings. You can simply not sign in if you don't anything to be synchronised.
An argument is Google should be opt-in rather than opt-out. But the general users are not tech-savvy. And yes, going to settings and turning on personalised search is a lot of work for a huge amount of people. Trust me, I worked in IT before. If they find other search engine giving them a good experience without changing anything in the settings, they will just simply move to that engine.
What interests me most if how people back DuckDuckGo. First of all, not all parts of DDG is not open source (it's fucking not, you can argue all day). Parts of it is closed because of licensing issues.
That is perfectly fine to privacy community. But it's not when Chrome is closed source for almost the same reason. I mean when you're using DDG, you are supporting a US-based company that has privacy all over its face and using closed source application on their server. Have you not learned anything from history?
You might be wondering about my obsession with Google. It hurts me when I see a giant company whose popular software is open source is bashed like this. Google has made huge contributions to open source communities. Chromium, Android, Kubernetes, Angular, GoLang, TensorFlow etc.
And PRISM, how do you know that DDG is not part of it? it's US-based after all.
I just saw an article that used a video with a title "TNW - Aral Balkan - Free Is A Lie | The Next Web" while asking us to switch to DDG. Ummm....DDG is also free right?
Maybe we should raise concerns with the US gov first rather than Google.61
I'd love to finish a few projects I'm currently working on:
- An add-on which gives a middle finger to websites which use services/products ran by companies which are known to be integrated within the biggest mass surveillance system ever created (US powered). Not because just fuck those websites but because I think (@PonySlaystation came up with this idea) that its only fair that people get to know which websites 'sell them out'. Oh and "but not everyone cares about that" - you don't HAVE to install the addon.
(will be open sourced)
- Notes service with a fun thing.
- PHP based server/website/whateverthefuckyouwant monitoring system which is pretty much module based and works with json files as configuration. (kinda works but still loads of bugs to solve and gotta improve the module system a lot).
(will be open sourced)
- PHP based pihole alternative which suits my needs (will be open sourced)
- Forgot one 😅19
The Indian state of Kerala uses Linux(Edubuntu) in all the schools. This incident happened back in 2010. I was not that proficient in Linux but I liked it for some reasons.
So one day, one of my IT teachers was handed the responsibility to edit a video. Being the School Student IT Convenor, he asked for my help. I'm no Video Editor but this thing was so easy that Openshot was enough.
While I was at it, he said: "Why does the govt. want us to use such unprofessional stuff? If it was Windows we could do everything very easily. Who is ever gonna use Linux in a professional environment? The govt. is spoiling the children by urging them to use Linux, Free Software and Open Source."
I couldn't argue that day. But today I so wish I could go back and roast him!4
My college organised some interview with a company, with the whole demn class. We went there, it was quite far away (50km) and the CEO invites us to a meeting room.
Where he bores me for 2 hours talking about their projects in argiculture and NSA like spying systems at tankstations.
They were caputuring license plates at gas stations and with that information gather data about the person, such as salary (by looking at their car), house adres ect. All without people knowing. And than targeting them with specific ads and offers.
The class of sheep were super excited but it pissed me off. Because he told it like it was some awesome advancement in technology that none of us could probably ever do.
He was demeaning us, saying we would do some simple wordpress sites there and other things. We are probably not good enough forc te big stuff.
Asking him some really hard questions about his projects made him so pissed he almost wanted to kick me out.
When it was finally over, there was some test that you have to do if you want to work there. If you were good enough at the test, you could!!!! (YEEY)
Uhm, I said; no thank you I dont want to work here.
Later I talked to my classmate and friend who always thinks he's better then everyone in class even tho he barely understands OOP programming. He was asking me if he should try to get the internship. I told him; dont. They have no value for us and they think they are the greatest company on the planet.
The fucking idiot go so pissed, he stopped talking to me alltogether and blocked me everywere. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. Just because I gave my FUCKING opinon about a company he likes for no reason.
So this idiot does the test (which was fucking simple btw, I did it too and compared the results and I had 95%) He gets invited for another interview and gets told he will be paid 200 euro's per month 😂. and a free meal everyday!! 😪 hahaha . That doesnt even cover commuting costs!
My "friend" told him that the train costs more every day. You know what the CEO said? "Yeah but you can learn so much here the also brings value and you're just a last year student. But I think you are really brave for asking more"
So in the end, he couldnt take the internship and I was fucking right. Really I hate these kinds of companies thinking they are heaven on earth when they are clearly not.
I am happy I told them no before putting my dignity on thd line.13
I have the urge to fucking smash all of the mosquitoes on the whole universe.
I tried to sleep many times after killing 2 of them. But there are still more of them. Anyways, "since I am fully awake, let us do some research" I thought lol.
-In the research I found that only the female mosquitoes are the ones who are annoying us.
The male mosquitoes dislike drinking blood and eat nectar instead.
And not only that...
-There are approximately 3.5k types of mosquitoes and only a few hundred of these are the bad guys, even if they look all the same.
-Human-biting mosquitoes fly at heights of less than 25 feet in general.
-Mosquitoes are hunting us, because of a specific substance. Carbon dioxide. Every time we exhale CO2, we kind of create a path for the mosquitoes to find us :). They think about it like this:
>there is probably going to be a meal
>let us fucking get it
-Female mosquitoes flap their Wings slower than male mosquitoes thus it makes it easier for male mosquitoes to detect female mosquitoes.
-Male mosq. do not touch female mosq., when they are resting, but once a female starts buzzing the male recognizes that pattern, flies to her and starts making love.
- A scientist who was working for the US Army found out that the male mosq. will even try to mate with recordings of female mosquitoes' sounds.
-They can not fly until the 10th floor as someone has observed it.
-But then again they have been found breeding up to 8k feet in the Himalayas.
-They live in the water and barely come to the surface for food and o2.
Ps: While I was writing this rant, another 2 mosquitoes bit me and I fucking killed them.34
It were around 1997~1998, I was on middle school. It was a technical course, so we had programing languages classes, IT etc.
The IT guy of our computer lab had been replaced and the new one had blocked completely the access on the computers. We had to make everything on floppy disks, because he didn't trusted us to use the local hard disk. Our class asked him to remove some of the restrictions, but he just ignored us. Nobody liked that guy. Not us, not the teachers, not the trainees at the lab.
Someday a friend and me arrived a little bit early at the school. We gone to the lab and another friend that was a trainee on the lab (that is registered here, on DevRant) allowed us to come inside. We had already memorized all the commands. We crawled in the dark lab to the server. Put a ms dos 5.3 boot disk with a program to open ntfs partitions and without turn on the computer monitor, we booted the server.
At that time, Windows stored all passwords in an encrypted file. We knew the exact path and copied the file into the floppy disk.
To avoid any problems with the floppy disk, we asked the director of the school to get out just to get a homework we theorically forgot at our friends house that was on the same block at school. We were not lying at all. He really lived there and he had the best computer of us.
The decrypt program stayed running for one week until it finds the password we did want: the root.
We came back to the lab at the class. Logged in with the root account. We just created another account with a generic name but the same privileges as root. First, we looked for any hidden backup at network and deleted. Second, we were lucky: all the computers of the school were on the same network. If you were the admin, you could connect anywhere. So we connected to a "finance" computer that was really the finances and we could get lists of all the students with debits, who had any discount etc. We copied it to us case we were discovered and had to use anything to bargain.
Now the fun part: we removed the privileges of all accounts that were higher than the trainee accounts. They had no access to hard disks anymore. They had just the students privileges now.
After that, we changed the root password. Neither we knew it. And last, but not least, we changed the students login, giving them trainee privileges.
We just deleted our account with root powers, logged in as student and pretended everything was normal.
End of class, we went home. Next day, the lab was closed. The entire school (that was school, mid school and college at the same place) was frozen. Classes were normal, but nothing more worked. Library, finances, labs, nothing. They had no access anymore.
We celebrated it as it were new years eve. One of our teachers came to us saying congratulations, as he knew it had been us. We answered with a "I don't know what are you talking about". He laughed and gone to his class.
We really have fun remembering this "adventure". :)
PS: the admin formatted all the servers to fix the mess. They had plenty of servers.4
Apparently, part of being a software engineer means knowing how to read minds and do other people's jobs.
While implementing a user story for marketing, we found some associated features that, according to the database, have not been used for years. We tell them this. We do the courtesy of asking, "Hey, is there anything on the site that is utilizing these features? We'd like to clean up the DB."
"We don't know."
Engineering suggests, "Ok, lets turn the feature off, then, and see if anyone complains. It's been years according to the DB."
Marketing gets angry and hostile and says, "That's not the way to do things!"
I don't vocalize, "Well, not knowing how to do your own damned job is not the way to do things."
Marketing asks us to integrate a third party feature to the site. We ask, "Ok, what page do you want it on, and what information do you want to collect, and what should it look like?"
"I don't know. You're engineering. You tell us."
We implement it as best we can.
Marketing says, "HEY! This isn't done right! It's missing this and this and this!"
"Did you ask us to implement that? According to the user story, it passes acceptance criteria."
Marketing says, "I thought you would just know that! I didn't know it was a separate thing. Just put it on all the pages, then. You guys really should know the site better."
Engineering gets angry and hostile
Marketing says, "We need this removed from the site."
Engineering replies, "We have a GUI for that. Just go to this URL and you can do it yourself."
Marketing replies, "Well, if that's a really complicated thing, can you just run a script against the DB?"
Engineering says, "If we've built a UI for you, we really shouldn't be executing SQL scripts directly against the DB."
Marketing gets angry and hostile.
Engineering tries asking nicely.
"Marketing, if you want us to add new stuff to the site, or change stuff, please tell us what it is and where it should go and what the customer experience should be like."
Marketing replies, "We don't know the site that well. We are leaning on you to tell us."
I do not vocalize, all while trying to keep my eyes from bulging out of my head, my face red with rage, "YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF SELLING SHIT ON A WEBSITE THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. YOU ARE ASKING FOR CHANGES TO SOMETHING YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?"
Engineering is angry and hostile.5
Why the hell can't PMs understand "it's complicated" without asking for an explanation? EVERY time any dev has said that and they ask why, guess what follows?
Technical jargon they don't get.
Do they think we're lazy and trying to wiggle out of work? Do they not trust us? Do they think explaining it to them will somehow provide some insight that will make it less complicated?
Complains why the app is not done yet ...
Because you fucking keep coming up with new features and ask us to implement them immediately !!!??2
On call: part 2... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO ASK US TO STOP RESTORING *YOUR* SERVICES SO *YOUR* CUSTOMER HAS ACCESS TO *YOUR* STUFF BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SLEEP. If you call me because shits down, I'm going to fucking fix it. Idgaff if you're tired because it's been an 8 hour day, I've been working for 15 hours and I am contractually obligated to get this shit up asap and you needing your fucking beauty sleep is not a damn good reason to fuck up my contact...
(They got my boss' boss' boss' boss' boss' boss on the line who told them that but nicer -its why she gets paid more- and they still insisted. But at least they owe US more money to cover some *legal contractual mumbled jargon* it makes it better, and it's documented so they can't turn it around on us)
Will someone please send coffee? I have 2 more days of this.7
Company wide ban on headphones at desks, because how can people be working if they're listening to music? Never felt so miserable in my life.
Fuck fuckitty fuck, with a side order of bollocks. May the senior management of this tight arsed tin pot cowboy outfit of a company all sleep soundly at their desks until Doomsday while the rest of us keep them in business. See, I'm not bitter...27
One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"
Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
... One month later ...
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"
Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"
... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔4
A lot of Project managers are idiots.
Here is what happened: I am a backend developer and was asked to replace some images on some website (not even sure this is supposed to be a backend task). So i did, changes went through review and then they were live.
A few hours later they come to me saying i made a mistake because the image has wrong color tone in one of the browsers (internally facepalming myself)... I didn't design the images nor made any changes to them... I just fucking uploaded the files that were sent to me... That's fucking it.
They blamed me for a design issue and how I should've noticed this issue blah blah blah... And i had to spend an entire fucking hour to explain to them step by step what i did, how i did it and why the color tone was wrong even though i am not a designer and my main tool is VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO AND NOT PHOTOSHOP.
The shit part is that the images were sent to us by the client, so really, it is their fucking fault not mine.
Oh, and they tried to guilt me by saying the client won't pay for this since the images are wrong.
Lost an hour to this bullshit.6
What kind of cum gargling gerbil shelfer stores and transmits user passwords in plain text, as well as displays them in the clear, Everywhere!
This, alongside other numerous punishable by death, basic data and user handling flaws clearly indicate this fucking simpleton who is "more certified than you" clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about any kind of best practice that if the extra time was taken to implement, might not totally annihilate the company in lawsuits when several big companies gang up to shower rape us with lawsuits over data breaches.
Even better than that is the login fields don't even differentiate between uppercase or lowercase, I mean WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS IGNORANT CUNTS THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS SCENARIO?13
*Opens a pack of tablets (8000) and start to prep them.*
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
SAME MAC ADDRESS.
Okay, that's just an er-
NOPE, ANOTHER ONE. HOLY SHIT. OKAY IT'S GETTING WORSE.
Is it my db?
The db is just fine.
*Painfully getting in contact with the reseller*
Me: grumbles grumbles Mac Address grumbles
Reseller: Uh.. What?
It would be okay if we weren't using Mac Addresses as primary key in our databases.
They gave us some weird-looking software to "re-write mac addresses". It's working.
Something tells me that ipv6 is not for tomorrow.7
Me: don't limit yourself! Learn more than one thing, experiment and learn more.
Devrant: don't use x. X is a piece of shit and its not worth it. This is better, and you are wrong.
I hate highly opinionated people. Devrant seems to be full of them.
I seriously believe this is why people like AlexDelarge left. Sooo many punchable motherfuckers up in this bitch man.
"Fucking leave then" ----> go fuck yourself. This platform is great. Some of y'all are great. Having frustrated virgins lurking around does not mean that all of us that like fucking around in here needs to leave.19
Once, at school, last year, we had to present a C# project that, upon clicking a button, took words from a .txt file and showed them in an alphabetical listBox...
Since the file they gave us was so long that we had to wait a minute or so to get the listBox full, I implemented a progressBar which popped up on the button, and upon clicking it, the progressBar advanced for every word it loaded, until, upon finishing, it would have disappear leaving again the button, and the listBox would have been loaded.
Apparently, this choice alone – even if it had next to nothing to do with the exercise – was enough to give me a solid 9 out of 10, because our professors never explained us about progressBars and I used that completely on my own... I tend to do things like this in class, where I explore what my tools could give me.
So long story short, I ended up having the best vote in class for that, and I was so happy and motivated :D
Moral of the story: if you can, always try to learn something new about your tools and your programming language, on your own, because apparently it gives you advantage towards others, at least in school. Or even if you're not in school, it could still be something cool to learn that might be helpful in the future, for your projects or your job's projects.
The more you know, the better!10
I've been pleading for nearly 3 years with our IT department to allow the web team (me and one other guy) to access the SQL Server on location via VPN so we could query MSSQL tables directly (read-only mind you) rather than depend on them to give us a 100,000+ row CSV file every 24 hours in order to display pricing and inventory per store location on our website.
Their mindset has always been that this would be a security hole and we'd be jeopardizing the company. (Give me a break! There are about a dozen other ways our network could be compromised in comparison to this, but they're so deeply forged in M$ server and active directories that they don't even have a clue what any decent script kiddie with a port sniffer and *nix could do. I digress...)
So after three years of pleading with the old IT director, (I like the guy, but keep in mind that I had to teach him CTRL+C, CTRL+V when we first started building the initial CSV. I'm not making that up.) he retired and the new guy gave me the keys.
Worked for a week with my IT department to get Openswan (ipsec) tunnel set up between my Ubuntu web server and their SQL Server (Microsoft). After a few days of pulling my hair out along with our web hosting admins and our IT Dept staff, we got them talking.
After that, I was able to install a dreamfactory instance on my web server and now we have REST endpoints for all tables related to inventory, products, pricing, and availability!
Good things come to those who are patient. Now if I could get them to give us back Dropbox without having to socks5 proxy throug the web server, i'd be set. I'll rant about that next.
Did anyone feel like IT is the thing in college not a lot of people really cared about?
Friend 1: "im going for chem engineering"
Friend 2: "im going for medicine"
Me: "im going for IT!"
Everyone: "uh, what about you Friend 4? What did you take?"
And i dont just mean it socially, the university doesnt pay much attention to us until they need something fixed or needs us to make something more convinient for them.12
Dear Product owners / Company Owners / Whoever requesting a feature:
Devs like to know they are adding value to whatever product they are working on. Every time you request a stupid no value added request, you kick the dev's soul.
After several hits the developer will stop caring about the software and eventually will get the job done, but oh boy, the amount of tech debt/trash code the dev is gonna leave behind will be horrendous.
Then the next developer, not only takes the hit from another stupid request, he/she will see the crappy code the past sad developer left and will take a double hit. Of course all of them start proactive and try to fix previous blood trails but sadness will catch them eventually.
If you want you're apps/products/reports to be good in a long run don't make stupid requests.
BAs, Stop being Expensive Email Forwarders and challenge a request, understand the process and then hand it to the developer.
Us developers are sensible cute ponies. Treat us well or expect poor quality projects8
Just now saw an email from Support after I asked them to run some cleanup commands on 4 servers.
Support: u need to give us an automated job for this.
WELL FUCK YOU, Y DON'T YOU JUST DO IT URSELF.
I JUST SPENT 2HRS INVESTIGATING A PROD ISSUE WHICH GOT ESCALATED CUZ UR A BUNCH OF USELESS INCOMPETENT MONKEYS... THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HELP... AND WHAT I HOPE WOULD BE YOU BUILD UR OWN TOOL... BEING SUPPORT UR SUPPOSED TO HELP ME REDUCE MY WORK NOT INCREASE IT1
# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July
# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....
# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....
# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!
So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.
That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.2
So my in-laws got a new computer 😑
Yup you know where this is going. Ok so after I transferred all of their data set them all up etc.
They wanted to use "word" and could I set it up for free for them. I said no Microsoft office is not free you lost your license and disk and your old computer is trashed so the better choice would be Google services . So I explained the value of using Google drive, docs,sheets etc.. today and told them how much better it is everything would be on their Google drive so if I got hit by a bus they could get a new computer again and still have access to their data etc... So they said great and so I did.
Two weeks later... Can you set up word for us on our computer. Me annoyed at this point " sure no problem"
I made a shortcut on their desktop to Google docs. Them: oh boy this is great see John all you have to do is click on google docs to go to word! Thanks so much!
Best part of being a Dev us that we are basically wizards.
Now stay with me on this. At our command is the ability to think a solution to a problem and only using our minds and some gestures we can create entire worlds (games) .
We can create software and devices that can literally allow people to walk again.
We can connect people who are not even on the same planet as us (Sace Station) and have full conversations with them.
I don't know, there are limits to what we can do but give us some time and we can keep pushing them further and further.7
The website for our biggest client went down and the server went haywire. Though for this client we don’t provide any infrastructure, so we called their it partner to start figuring this out.
They started blaming us, asking is if we had upgraded the website or changed any PHP settings, which all were a firm no from us. So they told us they had competent people working on the matter.
TL;DR their people isn’t competent and I ended up fixing the issue.
Hours go by, nothing happens, client calls us and we call the it partner, nothing, they don’t understand anything. Told us they can’t find any logs etc.
So we setup a conference call with our CXO, me, another dev and a few people from the it partner.
At this point I’m just asking them if they’ve looked at this and this, no good answer, I fetch a long ethernet cable from my desk, pull it to the CXO’s office and hook up my laptop to start looking into things myself.
IT partner still can’t find anything wrong. I tail the httpd error log and see thousands upon thousands of warning messages about mysql being loaded twice, but that’s not the issue here.
Check top and see there’s 257 instances of httpd, whereas 256 is spawned by httpd, mysql is using 600% cpu and whenever I try to connect to mysql through cli it throws me a too many connections error.
I heard the IT partner talking about a ddos attack, so I asked them to pull it off the public network and only give us access through our vpn. They do that, reboot server, same problems.
Finally we get the it partner to rollback the vm to earlier last night. Everything works great, 30 min later, it crashes again. At this point I’m getting tired and frustrated, this isn’t my job, I thought they had competent people working on this.
I noticed that the db had a few corrupted tables, and ask the it partner to get a dba to look at it. No prevail.
5’o’clock is here, we decide to give the vm rollback another try, but first we go home, get some dinner and resume at 6pm. I had told them I wanted to be in on this call, and said let me try this time.
They spend ages doing the rollback, and then for some reason they have to reconfigure the network and shit. Once it booted, I told their tech to stop mysqld and httpd immediately and prevent it from start at boot.
I can now look at the logs that is leading to this issue. I noticed our debug flag was on and had generated a 30gb log file. Tail it and see it’s what I’d expect, warmings and warnings, And all other logs for mysql and apache is huge, so the drive is full. Just gotta delete it.
I quietly start apache and mysql, see the website is working fine, shut it down and just take a copy of the var/lib/mysql directory and etc directory just go have backups.
Starting to connect a few dots, but I wasn’t exactly sure if it was right. Had the full drive caused mysql to corrupt itself? Only one way to find out. Start apache and mysql back up, and just wait and see. Meanwhile I fixed that mysql being loaded twice. Some genius had put load mysql.so at the top and bottom of php ini.
While waiting on the server to crash again, I’m talking to the it support guy, who told me they haven’t updated anything on the server except security patches now and then, and they didn’t have anyone familiar with this setup. No shit, it’s running php 5.3 -.-
Website up and running 1.5 later, mission accomplished.6
I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.
I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.
I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.
But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.
I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.
And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.
So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.
At least her frustration wasn't at us.6
A day in the life of BoyBiscuit.
PM: Please zip up any local changes and push them to a temp folder on the repo and I will manually check to see what you have changed.
Me: *glaring at the download as zip button*
PM: Who broke the repo?
Me: *checks commit history*
Commit History: *last commit PM*
Me: Could you add the files to your commit before pushing because you've only pushed changes on tracked files.
PM: No not possible, I did 'commit -a'.
PM: Could you all delete your forks so that It isn't anywhere on the web
US: but it's private with only us as collaborators
PM: No because I can see it
PM: Could everyone try to write more effective code?
Me: Looks at his code
Code: Boolean b = getbooleanVal ? True : False;
Tl;Dr: PM doesn't know anything about git or working as a team.
See you tomorrow!1
Fuck ISP. Just moved to nz. Explain to this company im working at home on the internet. Need it fast.
Takes 8 days to get the 📦 in a country of 5 million people. Wtf.
Box does not contain all default connections for box to work in a default house hold.
Call them. Tells me i have to go get it myself because i didnt request it. Fuck you or did you just fuck me.
Pay 100 dollars (this is in new zealand even though it feels like afghanistan. Not trying to offenecse any on here btw) a month for unlimited internet and phoneline.
They forget to put on the phone line.
Pay their fucking stupid 4 dollar cable insurance because new zealand has houses built for fucking cave people with 0 insolation and prone to dampness.
First day connections dont work. Well is that not fucking beautiful. I actually payed 4 worthy dollars.
WRONG YOU MOTHER FUCKER.
They tell me i didnt take the insurance.i go mayhem tell them how useless they are. So they send some one 8am the next mornin while activating the insurance. Ho yeah they also told me they forgot to include landline in my account.
Now 2 days in everything works im happy. Wake up to “your account has been suspended because you went over the max 200$ of your credit. You owe us 250$ before you can re-activate your account....
Inside boiling. Rudness and caps just won`t help.... I need some blood.... Some ISP blood....13
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.10
Well, fuck. The CTO of our startup decided to migrate data of our hundred thousand customers from a stable functioning platform to an in-house unstable platform with severe performance issues, to "save" costs, despite our repeated requests. He made us not have any contingency plans because he wanted to "motivate" us to complete the migration.
Result- we have a thousand customers reporting major issues daily, which is causing loss of revenue to both us and them. The company ran out of funding. Most of the team members were fired. And he's expecting the rest of us to magically fix everything. Dunno what kind of office politics is this, in which you're sabotaging Your Own company.
Looking for a new job now to get out of this hellhole. I really used to love this company. Feels sad to see it ruined like this.4
Had to setup 7 HP laptops today for a small hackathon.
Install windows 10...
just shout in the room and hope all cortanas hear the same answer.
done after a couple minutes.
Windows 10 rules.
This story could be over but no, have a plot twist.
All pcs connected to our wifi network as we tried to install Chrome ( cause edge sucks), realized it takes hours to install.
someone drawing internet over here?!
our network wasn't that bad usually.
opens windows store on one laptop by accident.
42 downloads running.
Yep on all of them.
what were they downloading?
candy crush... bubble witch saga...mcaffee.
spent about 4h uninstalling bloatware and teaching windows not to reinstall it over and over again...
and I didn't even mention the "tell us why you think you don't need McAfee premium protection pl0x" and "you really sure you don't want to try edge as default browser? is really fast and stuff" dialog fields...10
I hate the reason why I don't mind people thinking I'm in my late 20s.
See, I've known quite a few people who will happily work with me, only to find out I'm 20. After that, they'll turn their nose up at me, and not bother with my input.
Sure, it might not be an age thing, and instead is a "I'm working with a junior level person", but even so, if someone has valid points to make, you listen to them or you'll get screwed over.
I didn't get to where I am now by acting like an inexperienced graduate.
And that's another thing. I didn't go to Uni/College. I self taught myself everything I know. I'm glad that the culture for smaller businesses has moved on from "you must have a degree to even talk to us".
It still stands though. If people lose respect for someone who didn't take exactly the same path as them, then screw them. I'm not a violent guy, but you'll still end up with a black eye if you push your luck.9
I guess this is the reason why companies are not transparent. The way everyone is ranting on GitLab and saying this is the end of them, many of us won't even notice if GitLab wasn't this transparent and directly said they removed prod db.
This kind of things happen. Even in companies. They have a very bad backup system and they should learn from it.
I hope they recover and keep up their good work.1
Broken app is broken again. This app is broken so often and so hard, I'm struggling to give a damn.
These fuckers need to take their shitty project, code and managers especially, and launch them into Mars
They blame us and everyone else for their shit and I'm done with it. I need to sleep and not have these fools call me at all fucking hours.6
Went out with friends last night to celebrate a birthday, on our way back with the train we are asked for our tickets. We had bought a group ticket (for 30€/5 Persons) and showed it to the ticket checker. It was 6:20 am at that point and we were all tired and just wanted to go home, but apparently the ticket was only valid to 6 am (it does not say that anywhere on the ticket and it is called a "9-o'clock day ticket"). That asshole seriously made a record about all of us and took 60€ from everyone of the 5 of us.
The Deutsche Bahn company is the only rail company in my region, there is nothing that could compete with them, so they just shit on their customers. And now they want to privatize the highways too? Stop making public traffic something to pay for! There is no competition if there is only one traffic company with the only highways or train-web in a specific region.6
Client had our company build them a site, they refused our hosting suggestions, and did not want any maintenance on their site.
They eventually left us as a client all together(they were getting other services so they occasionally got an edit or two) and sent several rude emails to delete their passwords so we wouldn't have access to their stuff anymore. I gladly gave the site over to the new company with a solid "good luck." I wanted nothing to do with this client anymore anyway.
Now I'm 9 months down the line and my AM sends me an email that the client wants maintenance. I'm already typing up a ranting email to tell them no, when I decide to check the site. There are WordPress php errors all over the site.
Idk what this other company did, but I want nothing to do with cleaning up someone else's screwups. If I were freelance, this would be a HUGE up charge.7
Every single one of us here loathe this question "Hey can you hack a Facebook account for me?"
Even worse when the one asking is your mom.
(Backstory, she and her friend runs a store. Shit happened between them. The friend is the one who setup the store's Facebook page. Now posting shit on that page. She's not tech savvy. I can probably brute force her password. No 2FA)
i always wanted to have "developer t-shirts" but never liked those cheesy shirts with slogans or jokes everyone of us heard a thousand times. i always wanted something more classy - which shows i'm a programmer but also looks stylish.
so i started to make some designs and have uploaded them to teespring. it's called "foobar apparel" and everything is about foobar.
since this is my first t-shirt campaign i would love your feedback - what do you think about them?
of course i'm happy if you like them and want to buy some - mine are already shipping :)
here's the links: https://teespring.com/stores/...
if this is not the right place to post this here, just delete it - sorry.7
I used to do audits for private companies with a team. Most of them where black box audits and we were allowed to physically manipulate certain machines in and around the building, as long as we could get to them unnoticed.
Usually when doing such jobs, you get a contract signed by the CEO or the head of security stating that if you're caught, and your actions were within the scope of the audit, no legal action will be taken against you.
There was this one time a company hired us to test their badge system, and our main objective was to scrape the data on the smartcards with a skimmer on the scanner at the front of the building.
It's easy to get to as it's outside and almost everyone has to scan their card there in order to enter the building. They used ISO 7816 cards so we didn't even really need specified tools or hardware.
Now, we get assigned this task. Seems easy enough. We receive the "Stay-out-of-jail"-contract signed by the CEO for Company xyz. We head to the address stated on the contract, place the skimmer etc etc all good.
One of our team gets caught fetching the data from the skimmer a week later (it had to be physically removed). Turns out: wrong Building, wrong company. This was a kind of "building park" (don't really know how to say it in English) where all the buildings looked very similar. The only difference between them was the streetnumber, painted on them in big. They gave us the wrong address.
I still have nightmares about this from time to time. In the end, because the collected data was never used and we could somewhat justify our actions because we had that contract and we had the calls and mails with the CEO of xyz. It never came to a lawsuit. We were, and still are pretty sure though that the CEO of xyz himself was very interesed in the data of that other company and sent us out to the wrong building on purpose.
I don't really know what his plan after that would have been though. We don't just give the data to anyone. We show them how they can protect it better and then we erase everything. They don't actually get to see the data.
I quit doing audits some time ago. It's very stressful and I felt like I either had no spare time at all (when having an active assignment) or had nothing but spare time (when not on an assignment). The pay also wasn't that great.
But some people just really are polished turds.4
I happen to be the only girl in my small dev team of 4 males plus me.
I'm freaking tired of hearing 'hey guys','how are you doing guys', 'what's the update guys' in every meeting/call when one of them is addressing the rest of us.
Yeah i know I/they can't do anything about it. I somehow grew numb to hearing it, but sometimes hearing it one thousand time in a single call is driving me crazy.
I once mentioned it to an a senior dev who happens to be the one using the g word the most during meeting.
Me: could you please stop saying guys all the time, I'm not a guy.
Him: what do you want me to say, 'hey guys and a girl?!'
Me: ... -_- (internally: seriously!!)
So finished a project for a client, the client signed a contract. He signed off that all milestones where reached. Text me that he was very pleased.
We give 30 days to pay. 8 days before the due date he asked for a meeting, telling us he wants to go another direction and he wants the source code to show the new development team he's going with to get a quote from them. I tell him that, that's fine he can have the source files once he pays for the product which was in the contract they signed mind you!! And this FUCKING DICK FART threats to sue, saying he's calling his lawyer, threatening me and my development partner with physical violence, and saying he's going to sue me personally not because me work was bad but because I refused to give him the product before he paid. I was calm we offered to meet his new dev team explain the code, and show them what they needed to see to give the clients a quote and they would not allow that, saying how now I'm not getting paid instead I'm getting sued and that he will publicly shame my startup company. Just complete bullshit, good thing I saved the original contract he wanted me to sign which had threats of physical violence I. His contract... Which in retrospect should have been a hint, but it was the highest paying contract we ever landed. Seems he never planned on paying. What's a guy to do?26
I hate people who don't value transparent and assertive communication. I'm saying this thinking about an specific client.
This client is a boss of Web agency, and has some contractors working on their projects. I worked for them for a year, doing Web projects from scratch and also maintenance.
Then, one week, the communication stopped. No answers, no feedback, nothing. For months. They ghosted me.
I tried contact a few times with no luck. After 3 months, they started to remove me from slack, git, base camp.
And that's it. I was discarded and it seems I don't even deserved a message to be aware of that.
I don't mind to end business relationship anytime, for any reason. There are lot of reasons a working relationship would not work, and that's OK. We should have partners that are a great fit for us.
But at least say it. Ghosting is something ridiculous and unethical.5
Okay, That right there is pathetic https://thehackernews.com/2019/02/... .
First of all telekom was not able to assure their clients' safety so that some Joe would not access them.
Second of all after a friendly warning and pointing a finger to the exact problem telekom booted the guy out.
Thirdly telekom took a defensive position claiming "naah, we're all good, we don't need security. We'll just report any breaches to police hence no data will be leaked not altered" which I can't decide whether is moronic or idiotic.
Come on boys and girls... If some chap offers a friendly hand by pointing where you've made a mistake - fix the mistake, Not the boy. And for fucks sake, say THANK YOU to the good lad. He could use his findings for his own benefit, to destroy your service or even worse -- sell that knowledge on black market where fuck knows what these twisted minds could have done with it. Instead he came to your door saying "Hey folks, I think you could do better here and there. I am your customes and I'd love you to fix those bugzies, 'ciz I'd like to feel my data is safe with you".
How on earth could corporations be that shortsighted... Behaviour like this is an immediate red flag for me, shouting out loud "we are not safe, do not have any business with us unless you want your data to be leaked or secretly altered".
Yeah, I know, computer misuse act, etc. But there are people who do not give a tiny rat's ass about rules and laws and will find a way to do what they do without a trace back to them. Bad boys with bad intentions and black hoodies behind TOR will not be punished. The good guys, on the other hand, will.
Whre's the fucking logic in that...
P.S. It made me think... why wouldn't they want any security vulns reported to them? Why would they prefer to keep it unsafe? Is it intentional? For some special "clients"? Gosh that stinks6
While this wasn't technically a real client, it's still one of the most insane requests I've ever had.
I chose to specialize in software engineering for the last year and a half of my degree, which meant a lot of subjects were based around teamwork, proper engineering practises, accessibility, agile methods, basically a lot of stuff to get us ready to work in a proper corporate dev environment. One of our subjects was all about project management, and the semester-long coursework project (that was in lieu of a final exam) was to develop a real project for a real client. And, very very smartly, the professors set up a meeting with the clients so that the clients could tell us what they wanted with sixty-odd students providing enough questions. They basically wanted a management service for their day-center along with an app for the people there. One of the optional requirements was a text chat. Personally not something I'm super interested in doing but whatever, it's a group project, I'll do my part.
The actual development of the project was an absolute nightmare, but that's a story for another day. All I'll say is that seven juniors with zero experience in the framework we chose does not make a balanced dev team.
Anyway, like three months into the four-month project we've got a somewhat functional program, we just need to get the server side part running and are working our asses off (some more than others) when the client comes in and says that 'hey, nice app, nobody else has added the chat yet, but could you do voice recognition okay thanks?'.
This was a fucking basic-ass management app with the most complicated task being 'make it look pretty' and 'hook up a DB to an API' and they want us to add voice recognition after sitting on their ass for three months??? The entire team collectively flipped its shit the second they were out of earshot. The client would not take no for an answer, the professor simply told us that they asked for it and it was up to us whether we delivered or not. Someone working on the frontend had the genius idea of 'just get them to use google voice recognition' so we added the how-to in the manual and ticked the requirement box.
What amazes me about all that is how the client probably had no idea that their new last-minute request was even a problem for us, let alone it being in a completely different ballpark in terms of implementing from scratch.9
I got fucking scammed.
Too bad that I just realized it.
As most of you know, I am in Cappadocia atm. We had a balloon flight. Yada yada yada.
Then I took a green tour that was provided from an travel agency that was a Partner of the hotel I am in.
The guide brought us to a stone seller. At the jewellry store, we were told that they have a special kind of gem. It gets mined in Mugla(Turkey).
Thus we thought that the stones they sell are mined natural gems called Zultanit.
Oh boy were we fucking wrong.
The zultanit gems are able to change their color depending on the light it receives. We were all fascinated at the demonstration. They told us that it is the second Turkish gem. First comes Turquoise.
I bough a zultanit bracelet for myself. And a zultanit ring for my mum.
It took me about 635 Lira which is about 95 Euro.
I was like damn. They are so damn valuable. It maked sense to me, because it was changing its colors at differentt areas.
Now guess what...
I went onto the internet and checked reviews about that shop. They were mostly saying that these are not real, but lab created gems. I was deeply shocked.
I checked the "certificate" that I got from them. It matched. My gems are lab created and not mined as they told to us tourists ffs.
I am crying internally.
How could I be that dumb to believe that?
Guys, never buy anything they tell you. Check everything to its detail.
The "zultanite" is a real gem. They even have their own trademark, but we were sold a "zultanit (lbrt)".
They did not show the certificate before buying it.10
Dealing with other technical professionals who cannot think outside their respective boxes.
Here is an example.
A QA (who is very good at her job) said this...
“We need to get one customer who is willing to pay us a lot of money to make the features they want!”
“But you realize we are a SaaS company and that means we need lots of customers and constant growth”
“No, we need to find a customer who is willing to pay us, like a million, to make the features they want. Then we make them for that customer. Then we do that again.”
“We sell software to small businesses, none of them have a million dollars to pay us, and even if they did then why wouldn’t they build it themselves?
“Well, when I worked for my last company this is what we did...”
“So you worked for a contracting company who built software for individual companies. We are not that type of company. We are a SaaS company.”
“It’s the same thing”
As a software developer and entrepreneur it frustrates me when everyone think everything is the same.
You’ll here things like...
“All we need is to get lucky with one big hit and then we will ride that wave to success, just like Facebook or Amazon!”
Holy fucking shit balls, how stupid can you be!
FB and AZ run thousands of tests a day to see what works. They do not get “lucky”. They dark launched FB messenger with thousands of messages and then rolled it out to their internal team first, they did not get lucky!
Honestly though, I can’t blame them. Most people just want a good job that pays. They aren’t looking to challenge their assumptions.
Personally I know I will be in situations again where my pride, my assumption, my fears are realized and crushed by the market place and I do not want to live in a world of willful ignorance.
I’d rather get it right than feel good.1
Fun day, lots of relief and catharsis!
Client I was wanting to fire has apparently decided that the long term support contract I knew was bullshit from go will instead be handled by IBM India and it's my job to train them in the "application." Having worked with this team (the majority of whom have been out of university for less than a year), I can say categorically that the best of them can barely manage to copy and paste jQuery examples from SO, so best of fucking luck.
I said, "great!," since I'd been planning on quitting anyways. I even handed them an SOW stating I would train them for 2 days on the application's design and structure, and included a rider they dutifully signed that stated, "design and structure will cover what is needed to maintain the application long term in terms of its basic routing, layout and any 'pages' that we have written for this application. The client acknowledges that 3rd party (non-[us]) documentation is available for the technologies used, but not written by [us], effective support of those platforms will devolve to their respective vendors on expiry of the current support contract."
Contract in hand, and client being too dumb to realize that their severing of the maintenance agreement voids their support contract, I can safely share what's not contractually covered:
- Stream based programming
- Angular 9
- Any of the APIs
- Dotnet core
- pretty much anything not in a commit
I'm a little giddy just thinking about the massive world of hurt they've created for themselves. Couldn't have happened to nicer assholes.6
Not directly a dev related rant but needed to write it somewhere. (Also, long long rant, be aware).
I am currently working on a project for a client who is going to launch a new product. He wants us to create the brand and choose the logo, colours, communication... BUT before everything we have to deliver the website design.
We told him several times that the design has to be created AFTER the brand is created, however, he insisted. Then, we offered him to develop the UX/UI patterns but the colors and a few more things would be delivered after, so his 3rd party dev could make the job.
After working on the first draft, we sent it to him and he refused it, calling it "poor designed". We insisted that it was a draft for the UI which he ignored.
He asked for another design by taking as example a website from another (unrelated) company. We worked for another 2 days and delivered a more finished design, which he automatically refused again.
He called us to his office in order to provide us exactly what he wanted in every part of the site. He only gave us the home page and the product page, and ordered us to work through the weekend (Which we didn't as he is being quite petty about everything and bullying us).
We delivered this third draft and he made changes, sometimes going back to things that he refused before.
Now his 3rd party dev has things to work, but he called yesterday today telling us that the rest of the site must be before friday, date in which we will be showing him how the brand will be and what we have created. He didn't care about and demanded the designs.
I helped the designer to develop the designs of the website as I can work in Photoshop (I am mostly front web developer but can design UI) but he is now busy working on the brand and I had to make ALL the remaining designs, knowing that the client will reject them as soon as they are sent to him, since he hasn't given us any indication on how and what he wants.
We developers sometimes make futile work which will be used a few days or months or in order to provide demos, however, the time I wasted today made me get behind other deadlines, which makes me feel bad for not being able to accomplish them.4
Recently started at a new job. Things were going fine, getting along with everyone, everything seems good and running smoothly, a few odd things here and there but for the most part fine.
Then I decided to take a look at our (public facing) website... What's this? Outdated plugins from 2013? Okay, that's an easy fix I guess? All of these are free and the way we're using them wouldn't require a lot of refactoring...
Apparently not. Apparently, we can't even update them ourselves, we have to request that an external company does it (which we pay, by the way, SHITELOADS of money to). A week goes past, and we finally get a response.
No, we won't update it, you'll have to pay for it. Doesn't matter that there's a CVE list a bloody mile long and straight up no input validation in several areas, doesn't matter that tens of thousands of users are at risk, pay us or it stays broken. Boggles the fuckin' mind.
I dug into it a bit more than I probably should have (didn't break no laws though I'm not a complete dumbass, I just work for em) and it turns out it's not just us getting fucked over, it's literally EVERYONE using their service which is the vast majority of people within the industry in my country. It also turns out that the entirety of our region is running off a single bloody IP which if you do a quick search on shodan for, you guessed it, also has a CVE list pop up a fuckin' mile long. Don't get me started on password security (there is none). I hate this, there's fucking nothing I can do and everyone else is just fine sitting on their hands because "nobody would target us because we're not a bank!!", as if it bloody matters and as if peoples names, addresses, phone numbers and assuming someone got into our actual database, which wouldn't be a fuckin' stretch of the imagination let me tell you, far more personal details, that these aren't enticing to anyone.
What would you do in my situation?
What can I even do?
I don't want to piss anyone senior off but honestly, I'm thinkin' they might deserve it. I mean yeah there's nothing we can do but at least make a fuss 'cause they ain't gunna listen to my green ass.10
Management wanted us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays (see my previous rant) and they were acting really sad when we told them it is impossible. It turns out they really want it to be done, and instead of realising it is not going to happen, they are coming up with brilliant new ideas on what we should do and how should we do it on a daily basis. It was just just a little nuisance until today, listening to them and reading their mails for half an hour a day is not a big deal.
So guess what? They changed the whole fucking specification today. I can't even...7
Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.
US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.
US : Could you share your screen and show us ?
Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”
US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.
US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”
Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”
Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.
I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.
If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.
EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error6
My recruitment story is a bit funny,
i had two interview, first one was to evaluate working style, behavior and ethics, where the interviewer and i spent almost 20 minutes discussing video games 😀.
second was technical, was interviewed by a lady dev manager and the team's technical lead "which i didn't know their roles at that time" went really good and at the end they asked:
Do you wanna ask us any questions?
Me: *leans back, with one arm on the chair arm and with a curious look and pointing one finger at both of them😕*
So what are you two?
them: *both had a shocked face and looked at each other for few seconds, manager chuckles😓😓* Well i am the team's dev manager and this guy is the team's technical lead, and in case you were wondering, we are not a couple.
technical lead: 😂😂😂
Me: 😨😨 no no that's not what i meant i swear.
Interview was over, i left the building thinking 😢😢 oh god, i totally blew it.
2 weeks later i get a phone call asking me to come and discuss contract terms 😂😂😂
sorry for the long story5
Partner of ours claimed they are going to update their api. No breakage. My hopes were low and they did not disappoint.
Soon after the new version of their api went live, of course, loads of breakage. And the email contact with them is really fun.
Me: "Hello, since your update we get the issue A. Here's the complete communication."
Them: "We did not change the existing behavior. You are doing X wrong. Repeat that one call during the step and you should be fine."
Me: "Thank you, if I repeat the call, it does indeed work, albeit slower, since we are now repeating calls. Furthermore, our application was consuming your api for years and we did not change anything. So why is that step necessary now? Only after your update do our logs show errors from your API. And by the way, we now also have a issue with B. Why is that?"
Them: "Oh that's because your query the endpoint with "Fnord", try "Baz".
Me: "Yes, I do know that we query it with "Fnord" as that is what a previous endpoint of yours is responding to us. Why are we getting "Fnord"? What request do I have to make to get a "Baz" back?"
It feels like a game of wackamole. Squash one issue, ten more will pop up. I am one step away from becoming active-aggressive.3
Should’ve posted this after it happened, but it requires a bit of background anyway.
There’s this guy that oversees our OpenStack environment. My team often make jokes and groan about him in private because he’s so overbearing. A few months back, he had to take us to our data center to show us our new racks, and he kept saying stupid stuff like “you break this and it costs me $30,000” as if he owns everything. He’s just... one of THOSE people. Always speaks in such a condescending way. We make jokes that he is our “best friend”.
Our company is shifting most of our products to the cloud in response to the coronavirus (trying to make it an opportunity for “innovation”). This has involved some structural and responsibility changes in our department, and long story short, I’m now heading the OpenStack environment alongside other projects.
This means going through grueling 1-on-1 meetings with our “best friend”. It’s not too bad, I can be pretty patient with people, so I didn’t mind too much at first. Then a few things happened.
1. He sent a shared folder that he owned containing info related to the environments. Several documents were outdated and incomplete, so I downloaded them, corrected them, and then uploaded the documents to my teams file share, as I was supposed to since we now own the projects.
2. Several files were missing, and when I asked about them, he said “Oh, did you refresh the browser?”. I told him no, that I downloaded them locally and republished them to my teams server, because he was supposed to hand everything off to us at once. He says “Well, silly, how are you going to get updates if you’re looking at them locally?” and kind of chuckles at me like I’m stupid.
3. He insists on training me how to remote into one of the servers to check on cluster space, which in itself is fine. I understand others wanting to make sure things will be done right by the people who come after them. But he tells me to download SuperPutty. I tell him, “oh no, that’s alright. I don’t need putty”. He says “oh cool, what tool do you use for ssh?”. I answer him “Just Git. If I want to I can use a CentOs bash terminal too, because we have WSL installed”. He responds “You can’t ssh through Git”.
I was actually a little shocked. I didn’t know if he was serious or not so I was silent for a few seconds before hesitantly saying “yes you can”. He says “this is news to me” and I so I tell him “every single one of our build jobs fetches code from Git with ssh” and he seemed genuinely shocked and surprised by that.... so then it occurs to me to show him that you can ssh in Powershell and that REALLY blew his mind. He would not shut up about it for several minutes. I was amused until it just got annoying.
Needless to say, my team had been previously teasing me about having to work with him, so they found it hilarious when I told them afterwards.8
I love it how managers try to act busy by going through the same mails over and over again while waiting for a new one so that they can instantly reply to it and show themselves off as "prompt" and screw us, who have to actually do some work, about not sending mails promptly and they have like this one single excel sheet opened at all times and they just make one obscure entry whenever they get an update and WOW, some of them don't even know how the fuck you spell Avro (spelt it as avero, handwritten) and oh, not to mention waste everyone's time by asking a mundane question that other managers are so eager to answer, one by one, over and over and did I mention THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE PRODUCT.
Okay, so I have a question...
Although unethical, I’m considering disabling a clients services without warning. They’re 6 months behind on paying me and I have complete access over their network infrastructure. Upon reading our contract, I’ve made the mistake of incorporating services will be discontinued due to lack of payment... But, I know if I disable things they’re not smart enough to figure out why they aren’t working and call me... That’s when I’ll tell them that I can’t preform work until past bills are paid in full.
I’m located somewhere in the US. Is this too unethical, too illegal? I just want my fucking money... Thanks!
EDIT: Yes I have invoiced then monthly. They’ve received them because I had deliver al invoices to avoid the “oh I never received it” claims.25
I work for a web agency.
Over the last 18 months a company asked us about 5 different quotes for rather minimal changes to their website.
While being minimal changes, estimating costs for them still requires several hours of work for research, meetings, correspondance and writing the damn things. They never even gave us a response (neither positive nor negative), except once where they told us that they wouldn't pay for project management because their instructions are so clear that PM isn't necessary.
As a response to the last one, after several months, they send us a 10 pages long pdf with requirements for a new website (or a "restyle" like they call it, even if it has absolutely nothing in common with the current one).
We inform them that we can't permit ourselves to continue studying new solutions for free and therefore tell them that a detailed offer would cost them something like 300$, and that amount would then be discounted from the eventually accepted job. We also roughly estimate a price range of about 15k - 20k for the new website.
We get an email back, from the CEO (until now it was a secretary), with essentially 3 arguments written in condescending form:
1. he brags about his revenue being over 9 billion $$$ a year, and that being a part of a global holding for which "communication is essential" (sic.) means that they need to coordinate and "can't simply accept an offer" [even if it's 400$, for specific change exactly requested by them, I guess...]
2. 15k is too much [... for the website representing this 9 billion dollar holding on the internet, for which the requirements are written in the 10 pages long pdf]
3. He asks for a meeting
We accept the meeting, we go to their office.
When we arrive there, the secretary informs us that the CEO will not participate. So we talk the her and the head of the "Communication Dept" in videoconference.
I explain them that if the sum, which we thought would be appropriate (~15 - 20k), is too high, the Pareto principle would allow us to, theoretically, achieve about 80% of the features and quality for about 20% of the cost. Their genuine response is:
"So your estimate was wrong! You can do it for much less!".
I try to explain them that the most money in a project goes into "attention to detail".
The "Communication Dept." person, who is "doing this job since too much time" (sic.), refuses to believe and insists that "details" don't exist on the web.
I tell her: "In any kind of work, the more effort you put into something, the better it tends to get, with diminishing returns".
She insists: "I don't understand this".
So now I'm here, doing the 6th offer, free of charge, for a 5k website, for a company that generates 9kkk revenue each year, trying to define a "Definition of Done" that works out.
FML I guess.
Sorry for the long post.7
ssh your.server.ip, welcome message:
#Ooops! your files have been encrypted.
#Don't waste your time trying to decrypt them.
#We would gladly offer you a way of recovering all
#your files safely, but sadly we lost the decryption
#Hackers too are not perfect, have a nice day.
#PS. you can still send money to support us if you want at this
#web page: fuckyou.onion.
#Your personal key: m0r0nm0t3fukk3r
(I'll code this one day and install it on somebody machine, it's one of my top dreams)11
I don't like marketing people (nothing personal).
Most of those I had to communicate with, do lack anything that would remotely come close to brain activity.
A handful of days before the start of a huge event, for which we made a VR game over 2 months, they have the ovaries to tell us that the spectator TV doesn't fit the event's design and thus the VR game will not be shown at the event.
Thankfully, half a day later, their CEO directly wrote us and told us to ignore them and to proceed with the preparations for the game.1
TLDR: A huge company that does server administration can't set up a server the right way and we have to explain to them how to do that.
!rant, just wanted to share
I invited some coworkers I count as friends to a drink on friday after work..
One of them replied: I hope it's your birhday..Right?? You're not giving up on us & resigning?8
How to NOT write unit tests:
A colleague of mine has developed a new package of software, many of our new projects are going to use. So in his presentation of the new functionalities he also showed us that he used unit tests to cover some of his code. So i asked him to show me that all tests passes.
He: I can show you, but one test suit will fail currently.
Me: Why?? You told us, everything is finished and works fine.
He: That's right, but they will fail because I'm currently not in the customer VPN.
Me: Excuse me, WHAT??
He: Yes, I'm not in the VPN that connects me to this one customers facility in Hungary, where the counterpart of the software is runnung live.
Me: YOU WROTE UNIT TESTS THAT TEST AGAINST A RUNNING LIVE FACILITY??
He: Yes, so I can check, that the telegramms I send are right. If I get back the right acknowledgement, the telegramm structure is right and my code is working.
Me: You know, that is not the porpose of unit tests? You know, that these test should run in any environment?
He: But they are proving, that my code is working. Everytime I change something I connect to the customer and let the tests run.
Despite the help of some other developers we could not convince him that this was not good and he should remove them. So now this package is used in 2 new projects and this test suit is still failing, everytime you execute all unit tests.7
// This is not a Rant, it's a sad story
I am a Software Engg. Student at my college, and I am a scholar, I stand 1st rank in my department for my academics. Our college expects us to do an internship this semester break, and I am stuck. The college expects us to do an internship for a period of around 6 weeks from a company with a CMM level 3. The real pain is the fact that the college didn't prepare us with the right skill set to get an internship like that. And in the end all our college wants is a certificate to show to them that I have done an internship.
My problem is, the people who don't have the slighest skill to do an internship are getting certificates because they have contacts, and they have no intentions to learn anything. But, here I am, although I believe I don't have that good skill set either, but I am stuck with no contacts, no internship offers, and no responses from the company I have applied to. Don't know what I am gonna do, but I have a zeal to do perform well, let's hope I find an opportunity to exhibit my talents.
If anybody can help me, please do. 🙏❤5
FUCK YOU MAGNETO!!!!!
what a backstabing cunt
imagine you're trying to prevent world war 3 from happening with someone you've been training for months.
out of nowhere, this FUCKING PICE OF SHIT decides to become a vilain.
in the midst of the event he tries to deflect a bullet that ricochets into my spine.
thanks asshole, now I can't walk
i thought we were friends man, we bonded over painful shit
like ok, they killed your mom and made experiments with you,
but it was just the NAZIS, LITERALLY EVERYBODY HATES THEM.
take it out on them, not the entire humanity bro
you unlocked your powers thanks to me, you couldn't even lift the toilet seat.
and you don't even give a fuck about mutants, you power hungry bitch
you only care about total domination
"oh no, someone save us from this mutant whose real name is eric"
im so scared right now10
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.4
I fucking hate stupid accountants!
Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.
First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!
They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.
Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!
I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.
I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!12
Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.
Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.
Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].
Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.
Owner: Are you going to help me or not?
Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter.
Someone told me a teacher wants to meet us at the library at 3:00pm. I went there and there was a yellow van with some of my friends and a teacher. Then
T = Teacher
M = Me
F = Friend
T: Your name is not on the list.
M: What list?
T: You didn't attend yesterday's meeting.
M: I don't know there was a meeting yesterday.
T: No excuses.
T: No excuses(slightly louder). I gave a message yesterday.
M: I didn't even receive the message. How do I...(even know about the meeting)
T: *interrupts* Your name is not on the list. You don't have permission from the administrators to go. You cannot go.
F: He doesn't usually attend the meetings.
(I don't even know the existence of the meetings before, no one told me)
T: You must attend the meeting next time.
M: When? What time?
T: I will send a message if we have any meetings.
M: *Flat-toned* Okay then. *keeps minimal facial expression then walk away steadily*
Inner me: What an ignorant teacher. She should at least listen to my REASONING, not treating them like empty excuses. I don't even know where they are going, I don't even have the intention to join them. Then she thought that it's my fault. I don't know what I don't know.3
Clients keep asking if our software will support XYZ format.
XYZ format is a proprietary format that we are not the proprietors of. Unfortunately, it has become something of a de-facto standard in our industry.
It is not practical to support the format because being able to figure it out is difficult, time consuming and not even a certainty. In fact while we have historically done so for previous versions, it has been upgraded several times so this becomes something of an arms race for us (whether intentional or not).
Responses from clients when we try to explain this vary, but a not insignificant number of them intimate that this is a failing or fault on our part.
It is pretty annoying, and considering the damage in perception it can do, is a pretty interesting and subtle form of economic moat I had not previously considered.14
Startup rant ---
John and Bob joined a startup at the same day but they were in two different offices.
John joined the US office while Bob joined the European office (let's not share the country here ;) )
Both of them worked really hard, they worked longer hours, showed result and helped the startup to reach and get Serie A funds.
That seems good no? But let's step back, John was promoted twice and get more perks while Bob got only a salary raise that aligned him with the current market.
There are different reasons for this but the most important one is that the company is having two different cultures for the two offices.
What's funny here is that Bob effort is well known across the two offices and his contribution has made a huge difference to the company but unfortunately he wasn't rewarded for it.
So Bob opened a new window not in his office but in his browser to find better opportunities.4
Dear Panicked Managers,
We are behind. We all know we are behind, and I would love to spend 10 hours fixing our shit.
Instead, your shit riddled brains decided that WAY too many demos, with practice demos, are the correct move! We are wasting 8 hours a week, per person working on them! That means we lose a day of development, but you are not moving deadlines and still complaining about the amount of throughput!
In those 8 hours a week, we could all build the new features, and you could throw an orgy, do lots of cocaine, beat hookers to death, do whatever CEOs do! Instead, you call us to all gather around and listen to you bitch that shit isn't getting done...
Went to the mall with mom the other day,
Mum: so what do you want?
Me: (pointing to stress ball) that ball
Mum: stop embarrassing us, are you a kid?
Me: they are stress balls
Mum: take a pill or exercise if you stressed
My mind: I told you not to go the mall with your, fucking kid....
devrant a ni**a really need them stress balls9
You know how fucking Youtube on Android stops playing when you turn off the display? A few years ago you could prevent that from happening by using Youtube from an obscure browser, but this doesn't work anymore today. You're forced to deal with battery drain and not being able to switch apps when all you want to do is listen to some music via Youtube.
So this is what those moronic douchebags at Google thought:
Let's stop the playback as soon as the display goes dark and prevent our users from doing anything against it. They will probably be pissed off. But this is better for us because... well... who cares, let's just fuck with them.
Anyone knows a workaround?30
For the last 4-5 months the boss hasn't paid our wages complete. Since then he has promised over and over that he will pay all that he owes us, and we (most of us, anyway, the smart ones already leave) like fools believed in him.
The boss still is lying to us, the same lies over and over (i think he believes them himself)
YOU FOOL, NOBODY BELIEVES YOUR LIES, SHOW ME THE MONEY. DAMMIT!
I'll leave the job and very posibly sue him at the end of this month. Took me long enough. I'm not a smart man...5
Anyone else bombard by those treehouse ads? Fuck them, right? Takes us real devs years to become full stack engineers, not "six weeks"!!! Fucking scam.2
Classmates? More like FUCKING PARASITES!
I work in a group on for on the notes using google docs, for realtime collaboration. WE spend lots of hours in school making them something. Then share it with one good friend and BANG the whole class has them, even though he was not supposed to share it. AND DO YOU EXPECT ONE OF THEM EVEN THANKED US FOR THE WORK WE PUT IN THERE MAKING THESE? The most I heard were fucking complaints. I should let the sniff a razerblade for each complaint and hope they improve their brain capabilities to the level of 0.4
Qin Chen, a 38 year old facebook employee, recently committed suicide and facebook is trying really hard to hide this.
Apparently he was too stressed out at work and was trying hard to steer things his way, he almost succeeded, but then his manager backstabbed him and left him helpless.
Instead of promoting a better work culture and taking steps against such malpractices at workplace, facebook is trying to hide this incident.
Facebook has to realize that them behaving this way not only insults the departed and his family, but also raises a question that is the life of any of their current employees of any value to facebook, or do they just look at them like workforce and not humans?
Let us not be silent. It was Chen yesterday, it could be any one of us tomorrow.28
Wow...lets a minute to appreciate the unsung hero's that revolted and went on to lead and win the battle against IE6.**shiver**
The majority of you will not understand or be able to appreciate the gravity and extent their actions had on improving quality of life for web developers globally... that is the true gift & legacy of their noble deeds.
and yes it was that bad... no, actually it was even worse - the best words i can use to describe (attempting) development in IE6 is that it felt like we were imprisoned in the software equivalent of a concentration camp where they had perfected the cruellest form of torture, where they allowed us to develop amazing next level experiences in modern browsers just so they could watch all hope drain from our faces as we were forced to destroy them, tearing out the magic in the name of IE6.10
This is a story about the shitty client who managed to ruin everyone's day, consistently....
So this client, its our biggest revenue source (about 33% of total) and our boss is total wuss when talking to them because of that... Each meeting he has with them he ends up bending over nd just takes it all...
So after each meeting with those shit heads, it's always the same...
It's our fault for going over budget (them changing their mind like 10 times during a project over key issues has of course nothing to do with it, because hey, we're a flexible company and all we do is modular and extendable right?)
Its our fault for not meeting the deadline, because of course our boss keeps accepting last minute projects like there we're otherwise sitting on our thumbs
And than their fucking contact person... Biggest ass ever, always involving us in his own office politics... I'd throw him through the window3
I really think there should be a subject in every CS course to teach us how to handle/work-under Grade-A assholes and dumbfucks. Not that it would help, but atleast warn us on what we are getting into.
In my opinion, development is not *that* hard or frustrating but is made so by these shitty people. But again, what do I know.
I was scolded by my boss for using for-loop to iterate through an array recently. Apparently for-loop is not used in real world projects and this iteration should be done "in-memory". My colleagues and I are still trying to understand and process that.
I was asked to add fitbit integration to a project within 2 hours just because I had "already done it a week ago" in *another* project. Luckily, it was then given to a "senior" developer who took 4 days for it and essentially copy-pasted my work without much changes, ofcourse it stopped working every now and then.
I am given unreal deadlines on my tasks, on technologies I haven't worked on before, and then expected to churn out production ready code with no bugs in them.
My boss literally just sends me the links of 1st three google results on the problems I encounter and report, after humiliating me ofcourse. Yes, I did google it and yes I went through all I could find from Google forums to GitHub issues. When the library/plugin author himself says that this feature is not yet available, don't expect me to develop it in 2 hours you dumbfuck.
And for the love of God, please stop changing the data model every single day and justify it with agile development. Think before making any changes to it. Ever heard of Join queries? Foreign keys? Or any other basic database concepts.
We reached a point where each branch in the repo had different data model. Not kidding. And we were a team of just 4 developers. Atleast inform us when you change models after discussing it with your shit for knowledge "senior" developer, so we don't have to redo it all over again. The channels on slack are not for sharing random articles only.
I am just waiting to complete my year here.
I should have known what I got myself into the day he asked me to remove the comments I had added to explain what my code does. Why you ask? Because "we don't write comments".
Humility... NASA discovered a star that has a strange drop in light level periodically. To the tune of 20%. NASA also determined that this was not due to a planet or naturally occurring body (Not sure how they determine that, but a lot of smart people work at NASA. So I am going with it for this discussion.) They have theorized that this object is evidence of a type 2 civilization mega structure, perhaps a Dyson sphere. The time it takes the light to get to us from this star is ~2000 years. So that civilization "had" a mega structure with the capability to harness the power of a star 2000 years ago. What are they doing now? Humbling, amazing, exciting, I hope we get to talk to them! (Also hoping they don't kill us all.) Really, I just want to see how fast their computers are. Yes, selfish wish.19
Another startup is about to go into the drain because some clueless fucking exec prioritizes "innovation" over *actual fucking income*. If a clients ask us for something that is simple as fuck-- you're supposed to say "sure, thanks for the free money" not get your ego up in their face, and tell them to fuck off because "we don't do standard things". You're risking a hundred people's jobs and everything *I* have worked my arse off for, just so you can play at being a budget Elon Musk.1
One of our clients IT team is lazy as fuck they slack too much, it took them 2 weeks just to respond our email (We already sent like 2-3 reminders in between).
Client:"We fucking pay you and it's still not ready, how much time it will take?"
Us: Just respond to that email ffs so we can proceed.
Client: Oh, there was an Email? we will have a look into that.
Even after, it took them 4days to send fields which were meant to be sent like 2weeks before.
(in between 4days we had called them just for the fields again and even after the fucking call they send that fucking fields after one reminder)
And of course, still, the blame game is on us.2
So i just saw a post about not pushing to production on Friday's and that reminded me of something.
A team we are working with (we needed help on something so we got another company to send us a team and do it for us) recently push to production on a Friday at around 5pm.
We didn't know that they had done it until a shit ton of errors started happening and we had no idea why (it was working so far, none of us did anything, so what the fuck is going on).
To make things better, one of my colleagues tried calling them and they wouldn't answer the phone. They knew what they did, so they went home before we could notice it and we had to correct their mistake.
We had everyone calling us saying they had gotten an error, and they needed to get home but couldn't because of it (it messed up a process that only happens at the end of the day before people go home. I can explain more in the comments if anyone is confused, or just wants to know).
Eventually everything was solved, but that was a very stressful ending of the week.
So yeah, don't deploy on Friday's please and thank you7
So, these guys came to me at work, asking if I knew how the "Low Orbit Scanner" worked...
I said: "no, what's that?"
They said: "It's that tool used for DDoS attacks"
So I replied: "Oh you mean Low Orbit Ion Cannon"
them: "yea that, you know how it works?"
me: "ye, but what do you want to use it for?"
them: "just want to learn how it works"
me: "you download it, run it then fill out the things?"
them: "but I tried it and it doesn't take out the server I tried"
me: "Means your PC is to much of a filthy casual, buy a new one"
them: "can't you help us getting it more effective"
me: "yes, but I rather not end up in jail... I have a job and a clean document..."
The looks of their faces, love to see that disappointment of my colleagues when I say (or atleast hint): "go figure it out yourself"3
Our company wants us to fill out monthly surveys to tell managers how happy we our at work and to give them feedback. The survey will not be anonymous as they asked us to self identify.
Also the company is small (just over 100 people) and over 1/3rd of staff have been fired over the past year.
Yeahhhhh, how about no4
Holy FUck!!!? O.o
You know, they say the customer is always right.. So with us, if the customer wants to shot himself in the knee with a gun, we let them. Usually we even provide a fancy hugeAss cannon, so he can do it more efficiently.
/* not like we make stuff worse, but we prepare our SW for them to do crazy fucked up shit they insist on doing with it, even thought it's against common sense and our recommendations on how to implement XY feature.. */
So.. We usually go above and beyond with the 'not so nice but handy' cannon to do that..
And right now, I think I am on the verge of creating a superDuprHugeAtomicBomb /* figuratively speaking!! NSA go awy!! */ for the customer to killthemselves with!! O.o xD
Supper happy (until I discover more bugs, but it's not finished yet.. so hopefully no bugs at the end!!)
Have 3 projects due in a week, two of which are partner projects. One of them has 6 other members in the group and I've only met 5 of them, one of them being two days ago for the first time. The other member has not replied to any emails from any of us, and we've had this project for three weeks now. Either do your homework or get the fuck out. We are also suppose to present it in class for our final... Group projects in college suck6
Biggest teamwork fail? This is the general way we do business where I work right now:
My boss didn’t want to be the kind who hovers, always micromanaging. He also hates the idea of taking programmers away from their work for meetings. Sounds great, right? This has resulted in:
• All non-lead devs being excluded from all meetings other than scrum (including sprint planning and review meetings). Nobody ever knows what the hell is going on. They don’t think we “need to know.” This means most of our day is spent trying to figure out what needs to be done, rather than getting anything done.
• Our remote boss making dozens of important decisions about our platform, never telling us, and blaming us for not forcing our lead to be more communicative.
• Pull requests staying open for weeks, sometimes months, because nobody has definitively decided what version we’re actually supposed to be working on. This means our base branch could be any of them, and it means PRs that have been opened too long need to be closed, updated, and re-opened on the false promise of someone actually looking at it.
Just ranting here... but I think our biggest teamwork fail is happening right now, with all of those things ^3
Boy was I happy to see this when I opened devRant up.
So for starters, more group projects are necessary. Many reasons why. To begin with, it allows for more complex programs than getting some input and printing some shit out. It also develops interpersonal skills (I hate people too, but when you go out to look for work you'll be with them, so better get used to it soon). If a platform like GitHub is used, it's easy to track who did what, and see what each person in the group did, so it should be fairly easy to discourage lazy asses.
Beyond that, stop giving us half completed assignments and asking us to fill in a function/method. Yes, it will take longer. But one doesn't learn to program by doing the minimum required work, you've got to crash and burn a lot in order to git gud. So ffs, let us do all the work. We're like AI, we learn through reinforcement learning.
Stop giving us a spec to follow. We'll do plenty of that in the future, right now we need to make mistakes, not be held by the hand all the way. Let us do dumb shit so you can fail us and tell us our code is repulsive, and this other way was better. Explain why. That's how people learn, not by telling us what each function should return, what can and can't be used, etc. And if you can't come up with a scenario in which what you're teaching is useful, then maybe you're not teaching us the right material.
I'll leave it at that for today... But I'll be back 😈
"Suggest an AV/AM product, Avast refuses to install."
I do malware research as a hobby and have for a while, so I can generally spot when something's up before I even run a program. If i'm unsure about it (or know something's up and wanna see its effects for S&Gs) I throw it into one of a variety of VMs, each with a prepped, clean, standardized "testing" state.
I see no point to AV/AM products, especially as they annoy me more than anything since they can't be told not to reach into and protect VMs (thereby dirtying up my VM state, my research, crashing the VM hypervisor and generally being *really* annoying) and they like to erase samples from a *read-only, MOUNTED* VHDX.
However, normal people need them, so I usually suggest this list:
• MBAM is good and has a (relatively) low memory footprint, but doesn't have free realtime protection.
• Avast is very good as it picks up a lot, but it eats a FUCKTON of resources. It also *really* likes to crash VM hypervisors if it sees anything odd in them.
• AVG is garbage. Kill it with fire.
• Using Windows Defender is like trying to block the rain with an umbrella made of 1-ply toilet paper.
• herdProtect is amazing as it's basically a VirusTotal client but it's web-based and not currently available to be downloaded. (Existing copies still work!)
• Kaspersky. Yes, it spied on US gov't workers. No, they don't care about anyone BUT US gov't workers. Yes, it's pretty good.
• BitDefender: *sees steam game* "Is this ransomware?"
hope this helps15
It’s throw back Thursday folks...
Today’s post sets us back to a time long before the internet. Before C ... from the days of FORTRAN.. COBOL .. and LISP... How was info not taught in classes and published in large books shared???? Well it’s was journals like these, sent out monthly and quarterly for some. They would publish their findings to these type “magazines” but extremely technical.
This is one of the oldest editions have. Trying to collect them.
I believe in Knuths TAOCP, he references the first article of this edition... I’ve seen that article referenced in one of my books but i forgot which book.. pretty sure TAOCP.. anyway..
Just a fun throw back. Btw... just because it’s from 59’ doesn’t mean the information is irrelevant.. the information is facts the equations are true.15
Privileged in this context means logged in and have a administrator-confirmed access.
Customer calls us: Why do I see prices in my shop? I should have been privileged first to see them. Looks to me that you did not make prices only get displayed when I am privileged.
Salesman: Sure we did this. May I asked whether you are logged in right now?
Customer: Of course. I am testing the process of placing an order with my test customer account.
Customer: I am so sorry for calling. You are right.2
The company I work for used to be hosted on 3dcart. One day the site went down and their support couldn't tell us why. After over 24 hours of downtime they restored service but left 5 days of all records and customizations across the entire store, from the DB to the damn templates. Their support apologized for the outage blaming the disaster on a combination of hard disk failure and a bad update to their backup script. They were not willing to assist us in any way. We were forced to manually enter 5 days of orders (which gave them new order numbers and caused more problems), products and template changes, with order data coming from an internal email which was luckily CC'd on the order confirmation email. Thank God for whoever setup that CC, it saved our asses. In the end it cost our company thousands of dollars and 3dcart never composited us in any way.2
The new CTO promised us better coffee in his introduction meeting. Honestly felt pretty trivial and part of his used car salesman pitch to us.
A month goes buy and he replaces our shitty drip Starbucks breakfast blend coffee with ... Starbucks coffee machines. I shit you not these things have touch screens on them. So I tried two cups of each bean type and ... this stuff is really really bad. It's literally worse than the drip brew. It's so fucking terrible I have trouble finishing a cup.
God damn it!8
Here we go again. Months have passed since this client first wanted their website launched. But because they were suddenly and inexplicably in no real hurry to make it go live, we are now waiting for them to get back to us on whether to push to Production. Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and as soon as I told them I need the check by no later than April 1st, everyone over there is no longer answering phone calls or emails. Voicemail box is full and not accepting any more messages.
I think this would be the part where I call "Big Nick" and ask him to pay them a little "visit". If I knew someone like that.2
Hi, I'm a 17 years old web developer (still in school, not from the us), is there any way that a guy like me will be able to find a job to start gain experience? I searched all over the internet, in upwork no one answer me when I try to contact them and the other all wants 1 or 2 years of experience or a degree...19
The client doesn't want to give me her PIN code from GoDaddy but I need it to make changes for her.
She told me that GoDaddy's Customer Support told her she can't give her PIN to anyone. I understand that. I told her what to do but she still wants me to do it.
She came up with the idea of teleconference between me, her and GoDaddy (is that even possible?). We live in two different countries.
She could just do it by herself (as I told her what and how to do) or give me the PIN... Nope, she thinks that it's my business to make things up.
Boss wants me to carry on this because she's difficult and may make us bad PR even if she's not right. He doesn't want a shitstorm to handle.
We made few projects for her in the past, she gave us access to all her WordPresses, FTPs, backups, authinfo codes etc but still doesn't trust us. She always thinks dozen times before she gave us some data.
And she's not even a business client. She runs a few blogs about her hobbies. She doesn't make money from them. It's not a big deal but she treats it like a treasure.
It's not easy to be gentle and kind :)3
Today is Day Two of my Dev Ops Internship.
The only tasks I have been assigned today is GDPR compliance training, which I did not realize could be stretched out into so much repetitive detail.
I also sat in a meeting with a dev who committed his artifact builds to git and now needs us to remove them for him.
Also, I keep getting called Dylan. My name is not Dylan.1
I work in a dev company. One of our clients hired us to help them out as their devs are failing with their deadlines.
I had to expose app services via an api. I did it. Client company devs didn't like the way I did it as I rewrote their datamodels and declared them as api-use-only. I was demanded to return bkend services' data structures.
I didn't agree and waited until deadline to submit my code.
Now they are honestly thanking me for what I did as I've saved them from a forever-mutating-api-and-angry-integration-customers hell.
Not sure whether should I be happy or worried. I forced my solution onto them. It's not proffessional. But yhe customer is happier now than it would've been.
What do you do in such situations?6
I turned up for a meeting with some folks from US on time. Waited for 45 minutes and they did not show up.
Come home half an hour later and see a mail that says “anyone available?” from their side after waiting for them for 45 fucking minutes. A meeting that they scheduled. On a fucking Saturday night.
As a team lead, has anyone got any positive advice to dealing with a seriously under-performing developer?
In this case; the Developer appears not to be outright lazy, due to the volume of work they get through, but the quality is poor.
Despite having made several subtle attempts, I cannot get them to stop 'leaning' on other developers in the team to hand them the solution on the plate. When I've told them to come and ask me, I found out later they revert to private messaging other Devs on Slack for the answers.
Their work it's very often riddled with bizarre implementation approaches and copy/paste from other areas of the code base which I've told them not to do. Today, they polluted a number of low-level classes with support for one high-level specific use case - which shows a disregard for the App's architecture.
It takes us longer as a team to do the PR than it would do to just scrap it and re-implement.
It's what I'd expect from a very junior Developer; except for the number of years of experience they have, they should be beyond this... I want to try and help them, perhaps with some personal coaching, I'm just worried I'd be wasting my effort.9
Okay, I understand that they want to lock down the Chromebooks they send home with us, we don't own them and they have the right to do that. But I'm still annoyed when I find "harmless" stuff is blocked.
They said it themselves that they want us to be able to do basically anything we want web browsing wise on them.
It's not a fun experience to say to your self "hey let's look at the current humble bundles!" just to find that humblebundle.com is blocked for "games". (Which makes sense, but I can't remember any other examples)
Imagine thinking to yourself "I'm going to go to the Os Dev Wiki" and typing that into the Omnibox (tm) and pressing enter, directing you to your favorite search engine duckduckgo, but instead of finding the amazing duckduckgo results page you find the godforsaken securly "THIS PAGE IS BLOCKED" screen.
I can guess why they do that (probably because, to my knowledge, duckduckgo doesn't have any form of "safe-search" feature they can force it to use because they do that) but it's kind of annoying to not be able to use your favorite search engine anymore.
Should I really be getting so annoyed at this? No, because it's not my device, it's theirs and, they have the final say on what goes, but sometimes it really annoys me. I should be, and am, thankful they even let us bring the Chromebooks home, which is pretty cool.
If you want a fun time, just read the reviews on the Securly extension in the chrome web store!6
Well, this goes back a few years to when I first started to program in Minecraft. I had an idea of developing Gun Game in Minecraft before any of these big servers had created them, so I had a few questions and asked it on Bukkit forums. So he responded to my questions and seemed interested in the idea, so one day we got to talking on Skype and were working on the project. After that project, we worked on hundreds of smaller projects and even started our own hosting company (Which was sold off now, due to us being in school). So I went from not having any programming friends to having one, just cause of a Minecraft plugin idea.1
I'm thinking of opening a small onsite web development class for teenager (maybe between 10-20 yo). The problem in Indonesia is most of us learn programming language at an older age, maybe because of the language barrier and lack of good tutorials in Indonesian language.
I want to change that by teaching them early, so that in the future, Indonesia can contribute more to the world of software and web development. Maybe even create new JS frameworks.
But I don't know where to start. I mean, I've never even posted any article or tutorial (I'm not good at writing). How do I develop the curriculum? I've thought about creating a web quiz, but what do I write? How do I make the material?
Has any of you ever done this?8
An intern approached me for help in one of their past exam questions. They said they had already turned in the exam but just wanted to know the answer. The question was not that hard and I had a bit of time to kill so I helped them.
Me: So, to make it O(n), you have to make it a double linked list, and keep a tail.
Them: But the problem requires us to solve it with a single liked list.
Me: You can just iterate it at the end to make it single-linked again. That costs O(n), so the solution is still O(n).
Them: Oh yeah right. I don't think we even need a tail though, we could just have a variable pointing to the last link.
Me: ...which is called a tail.2
If only they allow us to write unit test at work, its not that It is forbidden but we are not given time to do so :\
Done my test on my side project and now I can happily move to the next step.
Though I'd be happy if someone answers this:
1. When I have to execute functions by order, do I write all their code in one single function and divide them into regions (speaking of C# #reagion)
2. I keep them split and implement the order attribute for XUnit?
My test case is basically just to make sure CRUD methods inside my repositories are working as expected, noting complex5
Co-worker: "I'm getting files from customers which are in multiple types and encodings. Is there a way to force them to send only us-ascii so my tool gets only one kind which is easier to parse?"
Me: "Welcome to programming with arbitrary sources; you'll just have to build your tools to figure it out and not break (just rely on dozens of existing tools which you refuse to use)"1
After reaching the pinnacle of my latent burnout and mental overload lately I quit and managed to get paid leave for the rest of the notice period through hr as I told them I'm not able to work for them anymore and else had to go on sick leave. My brain just had to have a clean cut and blocked me from
getting into their overcomplex and shitty, unplanned projects as I see no value in doing anything for them anymore. I gave them all my access keys and a small handover, but it was clear that they would run into problems without me, cause I've been doing like 5 jobs there due to developer shortage. Now I still get requests from my manager even though I had an operation and spent last week in the hospital and am still recovering for the next two weeks. He's still trying to build pressure as if it was my fault that we never got time to document stuff properly and automate things that have to be automated. He ignored every recommendation I made in past to ensure that things keep running when I leave, as I always knew that I wouldn't do this shit for long. It was always more important to please bosses ever-changing requests and stupid whims as fast as possible at the cost of quality, pressuring us into putting projects live at 80% to meet random deadlines we had no say on. What a fucking asshole trying to put the responsibility on me now. Not my problem anymore. Have fun finding someone else taking over that shithole of an underengineered software-architecture. I'm out!1
Proudest bug squash? Probably the time I fixed a few bugs by accident when I was just trying to clean up an ex-coworker's messy code.
So I used to work with a guy who was not a very good programmer. It's hard to explain exactly why other than to say that he never really grew out of the college mindset. He never really learned the importance of critical thinking and problem-solving. He did everything "by the book" to a point where if he ran into an issue that had no textbook solution, he would spin his wheels for weeks while constantly lying to us about his progress until one of us would finally notice and take the problem off his plate. His code was technically functional, but still very bad.
Quick Background: Our team is responsible for deploying and maintaining cloud resources in AWS and Azure. We do this with Terraform, a domain-specific language that lets us define all our infrastructure as code and automate everything.
After he left, I took on the work to modify some of the Terraform code he'd written. In the process, I discovered what I like to call "The Übervariable", a map of at least 80 items, many of them completely unrelated to each other, which were all referenced exactly once in his code and never modified. Basically it was a dynamic collection variable holding 80+ constants. Some of these constants were only used in mathematical expressions with multiple other constants from the same data structure, resulting in a new value that would also be a constant. Some of the constants were identical values that could never possibly differ, but were still stored as separate values in the map.
After I made the modification I was supposed to make, I decided I was so bothered by his shitty code that I would spend some extra time fixing and optimizing it. The end result: one week of work, 800 lines of code deleted, 30 lines added, and a massive increase in efficiency. I deleted the Übervariable and hardcoded most of the values it contained since there was no possible reason for any of them to change in the future. In the process, I accidentally fixed three bugs that had been printing ominous-sounding warnings to the console whenever the code was run.
I have a lot of stories about this guy. I should post some more of them eventually.2
So, this is the story of my lay off from last organisation. It was just 4 months and i was getting good ratings in features development and overall timely completion. So, during this lockdown/Covid-19, one day out of the blue i and my teammate got a mail from HR to have a catch up. We were suspicious about that. My team mate was sure that it is regarding layoff but I was like we are doing well, why the hell they will fire us, and also it's only 2 of us who is handling the whole project, I don't think they will fire us; they are probably gonna discuss about something or may be covid situation. So my teammate was having his discussion earlier than me; after the discussion he told me that he has been fired, he tried to reason with them for half an hour but ultimately they asked him to put the papers.
I was bit scared, but still i was having hope that maybe..
So, the conversation started like this is the meeting..
HR- Hey, how are you. I thought if we can catch up a little?
Me- I'm good, what happened?
Tech. VP- See, we wanted to talk about your performance, from some past months you're not performing well and ...
Me- but i have been here just for 4 months and our team was the highest scorer in task completion last month.
Tech. VP- i know, i dont deny your technical capability. You're an awesome developer and technology wise you can achieve anything but your performance..
Me- ok, (to HR), anything will change your mind
Me- cut the crap and let me know how to put resignation via mail, bye.
And i cut the call.
The call lasted only for 7 mins, i was proud to not waste time on such assholes.
Such hypocrites are there...11
Lately I'm running into quite some negative atmosphere in meetings. Raise your hand if you think we all should improve our soft skills.
For example, we had a meeting with our client the other day. It was supposed to be only with the two most senior guys in the team and a couple of the less senior (just because one of us knows better the maths of it and the other one knows better about the limitations of the hardware), but in the end some other team members also joined.
In this meeting, we wanted to discuss an issue that had to be fixed. Quite a complex one. The main speaker from the clients, even though also technical, was having a hard time trying to explain properly to us what the issue was about. He was doing quite well, but it was complex enough. Well, one of the guys in my team kept interrupting him to ask very detailed questions (that would not help us understand it better, not until we got first the big picture). When I say "interrupting" I mean that the guy would half shout a question in the middle of a word from the client.
The client was patient and tried to answer, but our nice guy would keep answering back in a "gosh you really don't have a clue" tone.
We muted our microphone and one of the senior Devs asked the guy to please let them conduct the meeting, and that if he had such questions, he could mute the micro and ask them to us, so we knew we might have to ask about that.
Good. We unmute the microphone and 2 minutes after, our star guy goes in again and he even directs his question to someone else than who was talking (from the client).
Client gets pissed - I mean, I taught 12-16 year old teenagers for years and I don't think I would have hold it together for as long as the client did - and from then on all the meeting went in a really negative tone. Ending up with a call from the client to our senior guy to finish explaining in private the thing.
Well, our friend the interrupting guy not only got amazingly mad at the senior guy that (in private and constructively) gave him some advice on this kind of meetings. No, he also ended up spiraling into a close to insulting chain of emails towards the client -with his and our colleagues in copy- when he needed some specification.
Interrupting guy is 35yo and has been working with clients quite long. Our HR department still doesn't think we all should get communication workshops or something1
I once worked for a dev shop who would present themselves as an NGO to provide IT solutions for other NGOs. There were total of 6 employees out of which only me and my friend was the sole developers. And the other 4 ppl would get salary for doing nothing. And they paid us peanuts and made us work parallely on multiple projects at once. Multiple as in not 2-3, it used to be 5-6 projects simultaneously!
Shittiest place I have worked. Fuck the stupid dev shop and fuck the people who run them. Hypocritical bastards.
Been working a year and a half on an offer for a client to plan their new system. Today they wanted us to construct the whole system and call it a beta only to pay 10% of the total costs. They said it is our responsibility to make the budget work as they are merely the "end users and not tech people". I am considering to tell them to go f**k themselves tomorrow.2
Companies : we cannot provide sponsorship.
Me: I can pay for my visa.
Companies : we don't provide relocation.
Me: I can arrange my own ticketes.
Companies never reply back.
It's incrible how many openings for developers I saw around the world and when we apply for them we have to face this issues.
I know some countries is a pain to sort out the documentation, but another countries is very easy and always I face this bulshit and this stupid behavior.
The worst part is they made us waste time with assessment and don't give any shit for feedback.
I made by myselft my own recruitment process for each company that I worked for and I answered each candidate when they didn't pass on the assessment and why and in interview without fear of hurt feelings.
It's best being sad for not passed in the process for any reason that they would could told me than get this limbo.3
Today my boss decided that he wanted to manage his project properly. After a year he gave us deadlines (we still had deadlines but usually we did not know them). I open the xlsx file (yeah... xlsx) and I see the date of today as deadline. Well, at least it won't be a surprise this time.3
We were documenting a feature which has system wide affect. We’ll be delivering it to customer on Monday.
So we’ve asked the colleague who worked on it about how it works and asked few follow up questions that arise during the documenting. All were good.
Comes Friday when I had a question as some things didn’t add up and I checked the source. To my surprise the very core operation colleague explained us works in exact opposite way. I kid you not in %50 percent of the documentation we ramble about why it was implemented this way since it is faster/safer best practices bla bla.
Moreover we’ve already had some exchange with the customer and we informed(misinformed) them about this core operation...
Also changing the behavior will reduce the overall speed as it will cause extra branchings. Other option is to rewrite the documentation and inform(re-convince) the customer. If it was me I wouldn’t trust us anymore but we’ll see.
I really don’t know what to say about this fucker why would you say something if you’re not sure of it or why the fuck you didn’t confirm in the last 3 weeks....
Anyway we have a meeting on Monday morning to discuss how to proceed, that’s gonna be fun!1
We use a third party paid company to produce a service and give ongoing support for it, which all our revenue streams depend upon. They are shit and their service is shit. Here's how my conversation about testing went today.
Me: 'hey X wrote an integration test project for the service. It shows the service is broken 50% of the time. We should give their team access to it and have them run it as part of CI'
Colleague: 'They are too shit to setup CI'
PM: 'we are stuck with them so there is no point. It is what it is'
Boss: just ignores me. Not even a reply.
Some days later
Head of QA: 'Hey Dev and QA are broken'
Me: 'because their service is broken. I made so and so suggestion before but it was rejected. We will just have to accept Dev and QA are broken 50% of the time'
Head of QA: 'no we cant'
Me: 'ok so we should setup the tests to run by giving them access'
Head of QA: 'No we shouldn't. The tests can only be used by us and if they break it tells us so we can act on it, or choose not to'
Me: 'We would not want to act immediately on all our revenue streams breaking? Yes we can reverse engineer their client and fix errors as they occur, or we could just have them run the tests and a team our company pays for can stop adding breaking changes to their own API every other day. Right now it has been broken for 2 weeks.'
Head of QA: 'in an ideal world we would have an internal team so you're wrong'
I really don't understand how they can come to such a conclusion. Am I missing something or am I surrounded by total fucking idiots?2
A 'senior' dev just questioned us (by question, I mean scold) when I suggest writing some additional information regarding db patching scheme of our project on our Wiki, just thought it might be useful for other possibly new devs later.
Apparently that would be 'spoon- feeding' them and it is totally NOT GOOD.
Here at the client site everyone uses Windows 7, since this is not an IT firm. They make jewellery. So I don't blame them.
The problem is their in house dev team are also forced to use Windows.
Today someone from their dev team was with me for a new project. Their senior guy sent us a mail mentioning that the project code is on AWS EC2 instance and we will have to SSH to see it.
I checked the code on my MacBook with SSH and copied it to local using SCP. The dev guy was seeing it in amazement. I asked, what's it?
He just asked, "You don't have to use PUTTY" 😮
I smirked 😏3
Look, I get it. Wordpress sucks. It’s bloated. It’s slow. It’s not elegant. It’s a nightmare to debug and code for. The plugin ecosystem is an insecure, confusing mess of outdatedness and issues.
We can all agree that in a perfect world all power to determine everything about a website, from the code to the content, would be in our power as developers. But we don’t live in a perfect world. People want convenience, even at the cost of performance and security, and they will inevitably resent technologists who refuse to give it to them. We do ourselves and our customers a disservice when we only do what we feel is in our own best interests or preferences and not what will help them with their realities.
Yes, it sucks. Yes, it’s a pain. Yes, it’s in demand and there’s nothing any of us can do to change that.
And that’s all I have to say about that.5
Product owner and scrum master prioritized a not important user story. We are just new to the assigned team without proper turn over, KT, vague user story(one sentence) and no time to prepare our local environments. Then after sprint 1 the client wants a demo by next month but the PO and SM had prioritized the wrong user story so now they are pressuring the developers on finishing fast the other correct important user story. They mismanaged it and now they say the development was slow thus blaming us?! WTF. We hit the deadline of the first user story with unpaid overtimes.
The other PO was always asking us on how to fast track the development lol.
I'll tell them all their faults in the next meeting. As usual we are just high paid corporate slaves with golden hand cuffs trying to escape the rat race.7
This remote agency that we use to help us build our mobile app is taking the piss out of us. They always have stupid questions, more stupid questions and on top of that at least they don’t work fast. So a task that should take a day it takes them a week and when they deliver it’s not exactly what we’re asking. Despite the fact that they’ve already asked me tons of questions they went ahead and implemented something I haven’t asked for because they thought it’s better. Well guess what read your fucking requirement documents that I spent 2 days writing. It’s all there bullet point by bullet point including the way it should work with examples and justification plus a flow charts to make it super fucking clear. It must be their business model to fuck around, stay on the project for as long as possible and ask for more money. They can’t be that stupid.5
So I don't know what it is with like teachers that teach any computer/coding course.
First off my computer programming teacher is this big white hippie dude who claims he brings rain wherever he travels. Imagine some dude who claims to be part Native American but he's super white. Anyway our district uses Google Classroom, imo I think it's a great way to share assignments and what not but this man, does not get it. I have almost a failing grade due to this man not letting me edit a Google docs, so instead I make a copy locally and then turn it in. I don't think the dude checked his thing or whatever that I attached a file.
And then I have this wacko web design teacher. He like makes us use Dreamweaver in class cause it's so "much easier than coding" and like imo I don't like it too much. One day he put something on the Google drive folder for our class to copy and paste, he did something wrong and we couldn't get them so he gave us a free period and says "tomorrow I'll make CDs so you guys can copy the files directly"....?! There are so many other things you could have done sir. Like maybe a Dropbox? Another Drive folder? BUT CDS? 3 OF THR KIDS DIDNT KNOW WHAT A CD WAS AND IT WAS SO CRINGY
tl;Dr highschool computer classes are no2
So this group of students (mostly girls) from university approached us to make them a prototype app for their semester's project, we had a first reunion to know about the idea and what they wanted us to do.
All they talked about was the color and some minor design stuff, we still don't exactly know what we're doing since it was difficult for us to get them to actually define the requirements and what the app should do.
We were supposed to have a second reunion for us to show them some ideas but the day of the meeting they didn't reply any of our messages.
I'm not the kind of guy who gets upset easily, but if you ask us for help and then let us hanging not really knowing what to do with your shitty project, fuck you.2
TL;DR: When picking vendors to outsource work to, vet them really well.
Got a large redesign project that involves rebuilding a website's main navigation (accessibility reasons).
Project is too big just for our dev team to handle with our workload so we got to bring a 3rd party vendor to help us. We do this often so no big deal.
But, this time the twist was Senior Management already had retained hours with a dev shop so they want us to use them for project. Okay...
Have our scope / discovery meeting about the changes and our expected DevOps workflow.
Devs work Local and push changes to our Github, that kicks off the build and we test on Dev, then it goes to Staging for more testing & PM review. Once ready we can push to prod, or whenever needed. All is agreed, everyone was happy.
Emailed the vendors' project manager to ask for their devs Github accounts so we can add them to the project. Got no reply for 3 days.
4th day, I get back "Who sets up the Github accounts?"
fuck me. they've never used Github before but in our scope meeting 4 days ago you said Github was fine...??
Whatever, fuck it. I'll make the accounts and add them.
Added 4 devs to the repo and setup new branch. 40min later get an email that they can't setup dev environment now, the dev doesn't know how to setup our CMS locally, "not working for some reason."
So, they ask for permission to develop on our STAGING server.. "because it's already setup"... they want to actively dev on our staging where we get PM/Senior Management approvals?
We have dev, staging, production instances and you want to dev in staging, not dev?... nay nay good sir.
This is whom senior management wants us to use, already paid for via retainer no less. They are a major dev shop and they're useless...
Cant wait for today's progress checkup meeting. 😐😐
Becoming member of a political party.
I met a lot of smart people, had many great debates about different issues, yet most of all: I learned how dangerous group dynamics can be. (It's insane how fast Us-vs-Them-group-thinking can manifest itself.) I learned to reflect myself (the hard way) and that if I want to convince someone, rational arguments is not enough if you are a dick about it and that sometimes the how you say things is so much more powerful than the what.
Basically, I learned a valuable lesson on how (not) to communicate. I still profit from that on a daily basis in my work as a developer.
(On the other hand, the whole experience made me rather cynical about the state of the world at large.)
Ibwish I had remembered this when the weekly theme was office pranks.
In the first or second year of high school we covered basic internet security. Stuff like don't follow suspicious urls, don't open suspicious emails and such.
Our teacher let us play around with some sort of simulated desktop environment, where we could execute some hacks like ad popups and such on each other's environment, if we fell for the trap.
Anyways, one hack I found interesting was a hack, that lockes a user out of their virual desktop, until he enters a password, that will be displayed on his environment.
Yes, a very interesting hack, because it contains two obvious yet major design flaws, which I could exploit 😈
1. It's case sensitive
In itself not a problem, but combined with #2, it's fatal.
Depending on your font, you probably have no idea what exactly I just typed.
Let's just say, the font displayed uppercase i and lowercase L completely undifferentiable.
Guess whom I let suffer.
It was our teacher, who had to demonstrate us some things and who was connected to the same network.
I swear, nothing beats that feeling when your tearcher has go come to you and embarrassingly ask you to "unhack" them, because they can't type it 😂1
I had contact with the BenQ support recently.
On my small GV1 beamer, the auto switch off timer cannot be canceled by pressing a button. So I wrote them, that this is maybe a bug.
That was the answer:
"Thank you very much for your inquiry.
Insects entering the monitor through vents are a common problem that is not covered by the manufacturer's warranty as it is not a manufacturing problem.
This problem is known to all monitor manufacturers.
The cause of the problem is usually that the monitor is used in a dark environment without a secondary light source being activated.
If the insect is still alive, you can lure it out with a light source (the monitor should be turned off and cooled down).
If the insect is dead in the monitor panel, wait until it is completely dry. Then you can carefully press on the screen, next to the insects (avoid crushing them) and it should fall into the panel and leave the visible area.
Nevertheless, please send us a picture where we see the problem you are telling us, I inform you that the picture must be less than 2 MB in size."5
We had a meeting with the top IT folks in the company (top manager was in the meeting). A mix between operations (customer), engineers, and IT people were at this meeting.
The IT group was not happy that my customer had asked me to do some server work. IT wanted to control that. They wanted to shut down a server without regard to the customer using this resource constantly.
IT had heartburn about the system running Ubuntu rather than Redhat Linux. The top manager during the meeting says, "Why are you running Ubuntu? That is a gaming OS." All the other IT people who worked for them just looked at each other and us with that 'WTF? Dear caught in headlights look.'
My manager who was at same level as head of IT made a few comments. We got to keep our server and IT backed down.
So here I am investigating something our users are claiming. I look up which user the UserId did the change and I see not only the user but also the users password in clear text in a separate field. I thought that field was for a password hint that the user can set up, but I asked around and apparently, no... It's literally the plain text version of the password stored in the database, next to the hash of the password.
Apparently, the users were so impossible to deal with that we added that column and for users that constantly pester us about not knowing their password and not wanting to change it, we added a plaintext password field for them :D2
(one day before the phone interview)
Them: Please call to us at (TIME) to (PHONENUMBER)
Me: (calls to the number at (TIME))
Phone: Your call has been forwarded to automatic voice message system. (PHONENUMBER) is not availible. After tone please leave message. When you are finish the recording you may hang up or press 1 for more option, please leave message now.
Me: (deep breath, patiently waits 5 mins.)
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CALL YOU WHEN YOU TURN OFF THE PHONE / TALK WITH SOMEONE ELSE????
IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, JUST DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
--> Could not reach them for 3 days, gave up
i'm graduating uni and I have to say, my school sucks. they dont teach us how to be developers, they're teaching us how to be tools.
half the subjects could easily have descriptions like how to be employee of the month. I know social and management skills are important in the workplace but by god if I knew that that's the only thing they'll be teaching then I shouldnt have enrolled. for fuck's sake this is IT not HRM.
it doesnt help that most of the professors cant even code beyond printing statements and loops. they didnt even teach object-oriented programming. I had to study that shit myself, so mind you i'm probably not good at it.
though I've had my share of wonderful professors who have taught me so much, a handful of them isnt enough to salvage the incompetence of the whole faculty.
I left class early today
I understand me and this kid are both students and both of us are still learning. But when he asks me to help him solve an issue I fucking expect him to listen then try what I’m saying unless he knows for certain that my idea won’t work
I don’t expect him to start ignoring the person HE asked for help to try things on his own and end up DELETING THE FUCKING GRADLE FOLDER because the 1.5.1 version of Android studio my teacher makes us use told him gradle was corrupt
I also didn’t expect him to tell the professor I didn’t tell him not to And them end up with the professor fucking assigning me to help him fix everything even though the kid won’t listen to me anyway refusing to just copy he java and XML to a new project so I grabbed my stuff and left Fuck that bullshit
I understand we’re both students and in the grand scheme of things we’re both idiots. But when I’m asked for help I expect the person to at least listen and not do something absolutely stupid like delete something we don’t understand how to fix
Now I’m making common sense a requirement to ask me for help I don’t need any extra stress I’ll deal with the consequences of walking out tomorrow But I can’t say I regret it1
Not a rant, thought I'd share this here.
My 2 bestfriends and I are web developers and the three of us work for different companies and reside in different cities. So, I got these today and decided to fly over next month to where my bestfriends are currently residing to personally give them devrant stickers :)
Thanks devRant for this! You guys rock!
Pentesting for undisclosed company. Let's call them X as to not get us into trouble.
We are students and are doing our first pentest at an actual company instead of assignments at school. So we're very anxious. But today was a good day.
We found some servers with open ports so we checked a few of them out. I had a set of them with a bunch of open ports like ftp and... 8080. Time to check this out.
"please install flash player"... Security risk 1 found!
System seemed to be some monitoring system. Trying to log in using admin admin... Fucking works. Group loses it cause the company was being all high and mighty about being secure af. Other shit is pretty tight though.
Able to see logs, change password, add new superuser, do some searches for USERS_LOGGEDIN_TODAY! I shit you not, the system even had SUGGESTIONS for usernames to search for. One of which had something to do with sftp and auth keys. Unfortunatly every search gave a SQL syntax error. Used sniffing tools to maybe intercept message so we could do some queries of our own but nothing. Query is probably not issued from the local machine.
Tried to decompile the flash file but no luck. Only for some weird lines and a few function names I presume. But decompressing it and opening it in a text editor allowed me to see and search text. No GET or POST found. No SQL queries or name checks or anything we could think of.
That's all I could do for today. So we'll have to think of stuff for next week. We've already planned xss so maybe we can do that on this server as well.
We also found some older network printers with open telnet. Servers with a specific SQL variant with a potential exploit to execute terminal commands and some ftp and smb servers we need to check out next week.
Hella excited about this!
If you guys have any suggestions let us know. We are utter noobs when it comes to this.6
One of our projects migrated their file-repository to another one during a major release.
Instead of giving this task to an experienced programmer, they gave it to the head of the respective dev department due to the usual release panic.
Soo.... He wrote the migration tool. It was executed during the release. Everything seemed fine so far.
A few days later. Someone from the above project came to my team due to some "strange behaviour on the production database".
They reported that they couldn't download some of the user's documents due to unknown reasons.
After quickly analyzing the current state of the new file-repository, we concluded that the affected documents did not exist in the new repository.
Then we took a look at the so called migration tool...
Well.. After nearly 30 min. we knew the root cause for that.
They only migrated the first 4 levels of the folder structure. Due to the assumption that "we don't use deeper nesting". (Facepalm)
As the head of their department wrote it, no one seems to questioned it either. Nor did they made a code review and ended up with a tool with hard coded urls to the production db, no version control, no build tool, no ci, nothing. Breaking nearly every possible company standard.
However.. That's not it. When analyzing their migration tool we noticed another even more dangerous thing.
They mixed up the id generation of the migrated documents resulting in a random assignment between customers and documents. Which is quite bad as this contains sensitive information. E.g. passports
They offered us quite a nice amount of money to fix this until EOB. We declinded as it was simply not possible in that time, but agreed to support them with the new tool.
After some time I heard that they migrated production again. And they fucked it up again. They never talked to us after we offered them support...
The third and final migration was written by us. Not only migrated it correctly. It was also way faster. By factor 20.
In the end we haven't gained anything from this rushed project as the penalties were piling up due to this fucked up migration.
After all this time I'm not sure who is to blame. In my opinion, partly all of them.
Head of department who can't and shouldn't code.
Seniors who didn't review the code and didn't ask for help.
Release mgmt who put way too much pressure on the devs.
Gamemaker studio 2's 2019 roadmap just got released.. Still no Linux IDE (FFS) but it only took them how many years to realise that not every developer is a malicious cunt and give us the ability to disable to sandbox file system?!
I swear they add and change stuff that is so trivial instead of focusing on the engines major problems and absent features, eg. Can't use SVG graphics, the need to be exported in flash (SWF) because you know, makes sense?17
Allrighty, so we have a huge migration upcoming. The planning started early this spring. We've split the whole process into separate tasks and estimated each of them. Also marked all the tasks client should take care of itself so save funds and time. All-in-all the whole thing estimated like 4 months if we did it [single dev, tremendous amounts of communication with various parties, buy and prepare the infra, adapt app to the changes, testing, monitoring, etc.] and like a month if client did the tasks we shouldn't be doing. The funding for migration is time-bound and can only be used before December. Cool! We got notified that by the end of April we should be good to go! Plenty of time to do things right!
April comes. Silence. Mid-april we resch out to the client. Since there's plenty of time left migration is getting lower priority to other tasks. Well allright, sort of makes sense. We should migrate mid-July. Cool!
July comes. Client replies that everyone's on vacation now. Gotta wait for August - will do the quicker version of migration to make it on time. Well allright....
August comes. Everyone's vusy with whatever they've postponed during summer. Hopefully we'll start migration in September. Mhm...
September comes. We're invited to a meeting by project funders to explain tasks' breakdown, justify the time needed to make the migration. We're being blamed for surreal estimations and poor organization of tasks as nothing's happened yet... [they were the ones who always were postponing things....]. Moreover, they can only spare 20% of infra resources required for data alone anf they want us to make that enough for all environments, all components, all backups, all databases,... You get the pic.
The leader of the meeting semi silently mumbled to other participants 'Well then I'm afrsid we can't make a full migration in time.. Only partial. That's very unfortunate, very. That's why we should not have incopetent vendors [*glancing at us*]'
somehow we agreed we'll get the resources mid-November and we should be thankful for him bcz he'll have to pull some strings for... us..
I left the meeting with my fists squeezed so hard! But it's okay, we got smth useful: resources and start date. Although it leaves us with less than a month to do smth requiring a month for a sunny-day scenario. Nvm, still doable.
Last week we get an email that resources will be available at the beginning of December [after deadline] and we should start a full migration no sooner than Nov 12. Which leaves us with 50% of our estimated fucking optimistic scenario time and not enough resources to even move a single db.
Fuck I hate politics in dev... Is it wrong for me to want to tie them to a pole, set them on a veeery slow fire and take a piss on them while they're screaming their shitty lungs out? I'd enjoy the view and the scream. I know I would. And while enjoying I might be tempted to take a burning 20cm diameter wooden stick and shove it up their assholes. Repeatedly. Round-robin. Promissing them I'll take it out in 5 seconds and pulling it out after 2 minutes.
"Marks will be deducted for each part of code that violates the conventions."
Long story short, one of my lecturers created his own coding conventions and gave us courseworks to abide by them. Objectively? They're outdated and shit.
I guess "marks will be deducted", cause I'm not trimming my code to 60 chars... 🤷🏻♂️11
[story of your first dev project] - i really think there should be a headline like that for wk rants
Anyways, it was a while back, le college teacher approached my friend and me asking if we wanted to do a project. We said sure, it was a medium sized data analysis project. We got the specs with a lot of formulas, basically implement them all and make a web frontend, thats it. Took like a year but we did it. Few months later teacher is furious because the calculations didnt give him data that he expected (by expect i mean he thought that a distribution formula would accurately yield 200+ data fields from around 4) and blamed it on us. Not the retard other professor who fucked up half of the formulas. Ok.1
Fuck the EU.
Their privacy laws fucking suck and don't even get me started on their braindead cookie law.
I think we should be able to make laws for them and not just them making laws for us.
First order of business is that by law all EU bureaucrats must have "I'm a fucking moron, punch me in the face to accept." tattooed to their foreheads in large bold letters with the rest of their face in intricate detail tattooed explaining what a fucking moron is so to educate their subjects.11
They’re making us use netbeans for class. Like I have a whole lab on learning how to use it. I’m not going to class, I finished the lab in 2 minutes. This one particular class is so dumb, we’ve had labs on ms word, PowerPoint, excel... they could have just done an optional workshop for people who don’t know how to use them. Waste of 2 hours every Thursday. And the teachers a dickhead7
Client wants something that makes no sense in UX land. We tell them that it makes no sense. Client doesn't listen, tells us to do it anyway.
We do it anyway. Client has doubts about a small detail of the implementation. And asks us what our advice would be.
My advice would be that you start listening to the professionals. How am I supposed to give "advice" on a detail of something I disagree with in general?
Her: "I'm going to cut off one of my hands."
Me: "I recommend you do not do that."
Her? "Would you cut off the left or the right hand? I can't decide."
Me, saying: "I have no preference in this."
Me, thinking: "You should cut off your fucking ears, you're obviously not using them."2
Everyday I get on my train, get off and go into the office, get some coffee, and sit down at my desk.
Everyday, all of us take a Blue Pill, and focus in on this world they give us. We don't consider this a part of our life. Brushing our teeth, flossing, making breakfast, sleeping .. those are also not our life.
Life are all the other things outside of the routine.
But we spend more time in our routine. We spend more time in our loops than outside of them.
Brushing your teeth, making coffee, coding at work, eating, sleeping: these things are your life.
All those other things, they're the escape from it.6
For all the hate that Java gets, this *not rant* is to appreciate the Spring Boot/Cloud & Netty for without them I would not be half as productive as I am at my job.
Just to highlight a few of these life savers:
- Spring security: many features but I will just mention robust authorization out of the box
- Netflix Feign & Hystrix: easy circuit breaking & fallback pattern.
- Spring Data: consistent data access patterns & out of the box functionality regardless of the data source: eg relational & document dbs, redis etc with managed offerings integrations as well. The abstraction here is something to marvel at.
- Spring Boot Actuator: Out of the box health checks that check all integrations: Db, Redis, Mail,Disk, RabbitMQ etc which are crucial for Kubernetes readiness/liveness health checks.
- Spring Cloud Stream: Another abstraction for the messaging layer that decouples application logic from the binder ie could be kafka, rabbitmq etc
- SpringFox Swagger - Fantastic swagger documentation integration that allows always up to date API docs via annotations that can be converted to a swagger.yml if need be.
- Last but not least - Netty: Implementing secure non-blocking network applications is not trivial. This framework has made it easier for us to implement a protocol server on top of UDP using Java & all the support that comes with Spring.
For these & many more am grateful for Java & the big big community of devs that love & support it.
Just my luck that I get the best wk76 story ever on wk77. Either way:
So some of you may know that the current project I am on has some shared code components with one of the other projects in the product line. And we have some differences in our processes. This leads to a lot of fun.
So, I was working on converting one of our shared components into a more modern language. It would save us time, money, and sanity by allowing us to more easily maintain our product. Sounds like a win-win right? That's what I thought. Until I had a meeting with the other team. THEN THE QUESTIONS ROLLED IN. Well who is going to integrate our product with yours? (You?) Are you changing the interface? (Not really.) Are you going to generate a design document? (Absolutely not especially since the interface isn't changing for the most part.) Well you are changing the type of one parameter in one method from an undocumented unmanaged type to a well documented managed type that we control. Shouldn't you generate a document to document that change? (Again absolutely not.)
So first they basically browbeat my lead into putting me in charge of their integration effort. Its fine though, as they gave me an account to charge. However, when I was finally able to get a machine with their build environment on it (at least two months later), they then told me that that account was closing and I had to wait until next quarter. So fuck me right. And because of their process I would break them if I were to check my changes in.
So fast forward to today. They are translating some shared components for the same reason that we are. However, they are changing code that while shared is technically "ours" and that will DEFINITELY break us if they do this work since this is the code that controls our algorithms. And while we have a fault tolerant process, or at least more fault tolerant than the other group's, we are currently doing a huge amount of development in the part they want to change. And when we ask them "who is going to do this work to integrate our product with your changes?" they stare at us slack jawed. Like "um, you right? it doesn't affect us." Like MOTHERFUCKERS!!! YOU LITERALLY JUST FOIST ALL THIS WORK ON US TO INTEGRATE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE PEOPLE TO SUPPORT IT!!! BUT YOU CAN PAY THIS GUY FOR SIX MONTHS TO DO ALL THIS WORK THAT WILL BREAK US BUT CAN'T SPARE HIM TO INTEGRATE WITH US!?!?!? EVEN IF WE'RE PAYING HIM AND NOT YOU!?!?!
I will let you know how this goes when we have the discussion. I am drinking right now because it it easier and better for my emotional and physical health than bum fights.
VirusTotal's API could do with a make over.
Though it is quite nice actually, you're able to provide them with a hash of a file and (provided they've scanned it) VT is able to tell you what up to 60 different virus scanners thinks about the file (and how many scanners that has an opinion about it). Now if there's an error, like the file not having been scanned or the hash being incomplete, it give you some JSON back where there will be an error message that tells you the error and an error code of 0.. wait wh
Although since it's an API they also need give us plebs whose only got access to an API key that limits us to 4 requests pr minutes. Naturally when you try to do another request within a minute of your limit the response you get is absolutely nothing what so ever. "" Naturally.
And of course the same response should be given when the API key you provide isn't valid. Who needs errors amiright?
No wonder JSON.parse kept throwing exceptions4
This climate crisis is slowly getting into my head guys😠. The shit bolsanaro and all other govs are doing is effecting my mojo.
I am working here and trying to do my best to deliver quality code while i must fight the feeling that ppl are betraying me (the govs). Its not my job to remind them of not fucking us over. I try to help by not becoming a criminal and getting forward with my life. Wtf is wrong with those in charge of govs?! On any project if you ignore the signs, u'll end up in refactoring hell or the project just dies. Getting out takes serious commitment.
Is everyone just gone crazy?
Here we all will get fucked, if we fail with project earth. 🤬😖👿22
In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
QT Creator and openframeworks on Windows 10 fucking suck!
- Qt creator keeps getting issues with the system. Missing DLLs etc. Fuck you, Qt Creator! They aren't missing. I double checked them. Redownloaded them and installed them.
- Besides of that your inbuilt compiler sucks big time. It takes me a fucking minute to see a complete program with a simple text on a GUI.
Now back to openframeworks.
- OF doesn't use the pre-installed codecs on Windows. You have to install K-Lite codecs to play mp4 n shit.
- If you want to embed a video or an image on the GUI, you keep getting a layer on top of the canvas. Yellow colors turn blue etc. Fucking weird.
- OF isn't a fan of Windows. Tried to install and run OF on VS 2019. It is not supported.
How about we follow the documentation of OF and install it their way? Great. Let's do it.
It says install VS 2017.
Ok, let's try it on VS 2017. Doesn't work.
I realize that they use VS 2015 in the video of their documentation.
Geez. Ok, let us try it with VS 2015.
Tries to download it, but with no success. Microsoft isn't supporting it anymore. Thus no way to download it from the official website.
- How about OF on Code::Blocks?
Not supported. Doesn't work.
I reinstalled everything. Made a Windows update. Rebooted it. Still a big nope.
To both dev teams: Get your fucking shit together, you bloody morons!4
finished my first small project today!
It was the final project of my semester in coding and because coding isn't the main focus of my studies there's not much expected from us - new Date, sorting a list and using local storage were among the more 'complicated' things we learned...
So most of my mates just develop/design a small portfolio website or something but my team (2 others and me) wanted to do a little more so we built a progressive web app, complete with service worker for offline functionality and so on, that can take pictures using your camera, save them to IndexedDB, display only the images the currently logged in user actually took and much more... and today is the day all bugs (that we found...) are finally ironed out!
Now I know that still is just the very beginning but now I want to learn mooooore!
Am happy, had to rant. :D1
So I'm on my morning stroll. Walking, enjoying, watching the world around me.. It's nice how cherries blossom. They smell very tempting to stop there and enjoy the moment. Some flowers under the cherry...
Why do plants blossom again? Oh yeah, that's right, to exchange some speciments in order to grow fruit and seeds. To have their offspring. Just like every other living macroorganism [with a few exceptions ofc]. Life has no other way to survive but to exchange genetic material between two parties and only then trigger growth of the new life.
And that is a very strict rule. No more, no less: it takes exactly 2 organisms to make new life. But why is that? If my memory serves, theory of evolution says that life is like business: cut the losses and let the profits run. Over time it discards everything not required for the organism in order to save energy, and only successful new "investments" remain in the genome. The unsuccessful ones die before they proliferate, so the bad genes shall not survive.
It also says that very simple things, very simple changes lead to very complex outcomes. Us. Life.
But what is simple about life having to need 2 other lives? Exactly 2. It's either simple or efficient, depends on perspective. BUT IT IS NOT BOTH. Look at cells. They just split in half and multiply. Dead simple. It takes one of them to make another one. But with mammals, birds, reptiles, plants and other macroorganisms [excpt fungi] this is not the case! Why?!? I can't think of any scenario where two generic microorganisms, following some dead simple mutations, would come up w/ something that inefficient and overly complex. Like they're living on their own, multiplying by division, and smth very simple happens and they can no longer divide, only mate in pairs. The primitive, efficient and simple mechanism gets terminated and replaced with a different one, incredibly complex one!
Sure, we have protozoa which have similar reproductive mechanisms. They exchange genetic material to multiply.
But look at our, human cells. They dont need that! Look at some reptiles, some plants that only take one to make another. They don't pair as well! It's simple. Efficient. Why do protozoa need 2 for the species to survive?
It's not simple and efficient [tho helps us adapt, but its not my point for now]. See, things like this make ne wonder. What if we, the life, are not as accidental as we think? What if this whole mechanism was set off by someone or something billions of years ago? That's mean there are much older, much more superior cognitive organisms than us. What if protozoa was version 3 of new life [the first two did not survive]? Viruses - v2? Sea creatures - v3, reptiles - v4, and so on until they came up with us, mammals? That'd surely mean we are not alone in this universe. Are they watching us? Will they create a new species any time soon? What's our purpose, are we just an experiment?
And so, from cherry blossoms to existensial dilemma, my stroll is over. Time for breakfast :)1
So the project I work on basically has to talk to a 3rd party plugin, through a 3rd party framework. The 3rd party plugin is a black box. This conversation happened:
Software guy: so we aren't sure what is breaking the thing. It's either us or the plugin, but it's probably both.
Systems guy: well then if we aren't sure then why are we writing an issue for it.
SWG: because we aren't sure but we know we are doing at least something that contributes. We read int X from a table and put it into a float. X doesn't perfectly represent in a float. It comes out X.0001. Then they take it and when it comes back it comes back as Y.0001. We cram it into an int so it becomes Y, we compare it to X which is really X.0001 and it comes back invalid.
SG: well as long as we are sending them the right number . . .
SWG: but we aren't sending them the right number. They are expecting X not X.0001. Then they send us back Y.0001 but it should be X so it's wrong.
SG: so they're giving us the wrong return value.
SWG: yes, but because we're giving them the wrong number.
SG: well not exactly . . .
SWG: yes exactly. It is off by .0001 because of floating point math.
SG: well . . .
Me: look it doesn't matter how it's breaking. But it IS broken. Which is why we're filling out the damn problem report. THEY ARE EDITABLE. We talked to the customer and gave them the risk assessment. They don't care. It happens rarely any way.
SG: then can we lower the severity?
Me: no. Severity doesn't relate to risk. That is a whole different process. Severity assumes it has already happened. It's a a high severity.
SG: but the metrics.
Me: WE GIVE THE METRICS TO THE CUSTOMER. WE TALKED TO THE CUSTOMER. THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
And that was how I spent Wednesday wondering how a level 4 lead systems engineer got his job. How many push ups did he do? What kind of juice did he drink?2
So recently i got a message from aa person asking how to (these are exact words) ,
:break into insta's database using Sqlmap"
I then proceeded to tell them to "f*ck of ya c*nt ".
Afterwords it inspired me to write this rant
annoying classmates:" hahaha GuYS bEtER wAtcH OuT he's GonnaA hack Us"
me: " yea I can program I also do some ethical hacking and cybersecurity "
annoying classmates: "hahaH Bro your a Hacker OhHHhHHOOO BrO CaN yoU hACk inSta FoR mE I NEEd MoRe FolloWeRs "
me:" tf no one that's illegal and two it's waste of my time "
annoying classmates: "BrOooo CaN yoU gEt Me SoMe HacKs fOr CsGo"
me: "can you just please f*ck off , i'm not hacking for you everything you've asked me is extremely unethical and a huge waste of time, Also if you suck so bad at a game you need to cheat I recommend just stopping "
annoying classmates: "DUdE whAt ToolS dO i HVAE to DownLOad To Be A haCkEr"
me: *trying hard not to murder them* " I told you to f*ck off"
being a hackers isn't downloading tools it isn't typing at 90wpm into a terminal with green font its not about games or fame or anything its about coming up with creative solutions to problems , thinking outside the box its about individuality and breaking from the heard , looking at things from a different viewpoint,
it's about endlessly seeking knowledge.
It's about freedom though creation that's what being a hacker originally was. But because of big media and movie company's (and script kiddies) people now confuse hacker with cracker and think of us as jobless fat kids sitting in a dark room in there parents house breaking into bank accounts and buying drugs on the dark web (which people see to think there a hacker just because they can open tor browser. they then proceed to use google to look up "fresh onion links 2020") .
My classmates and really my generation has a huge case of smooth brain. They a think we can just look at someone and hack them they also seem to think using a gratify link to get a persons up is hacking and using the inspect element is hacking and that opening a terminal is hacking ! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Anyways ima end this here thanks for reading :)6
Apparently they knew how to program in bible (partial translation of a traditional passover song below):
If He had brought us out from Egypt,
and had not carried out judgments against them
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had carried out judgments against them,
and not against their idols
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had destroyed their idols,
and had not smitten their first-born
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had smitten their first-born,
and had not given us their wealth
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us their wealth,
and had not split the sea for us
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had split the sea for us,
and had not taken us through it on dry land
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
ATTN: ALL DEVZ
I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!
Wishful thinking.... 🤔4
Couple of years ago when I was leading small team that was aiming to deliver new application for company I worked in we were fighting for bonus during weekend. I told my coworkers that I am at work this weekend and try to meet this impossible deadline and get bonus for it cause I need this money. I don’t expect them to come since I can’t provide them nothing more then free time during work week.
Well they appeared at work.
One of directors tested application on Friday and sent email to ceo that it’s not working pointing around 20 bugs in long message so we won’t get bonus.
We closed around 50-100 bugs during weekend and I responded to email on Monday ( deadline day ) that all of those bugs he mentioned are not present on test environment version and he must tested some very old version.
Ceo called me and we clicked trough first 5 from list in his office and everything worked. I told him that deadline is Today but he refused to give us bonus to not discredit his director but proposed double bonus for squashing couple of minor remaining bugs in next two weeks.
We got this bonus and had a great laugh about it.
I also herd that this director called his qa to tell them it’s impossible of what we did.
Well those were funny times. I was young, earning shitty money and had nothing to lose.
Quick question, is it bad to quit from a job when the project is not finished yet, especially in a startup company?
My reasoning for quitting, boss doesn’t really understand how game development usually works and mostly assuming every project will be same.
Following is my rant of background story for my question.
The incident triggered me wanting to leave is as below.
G = another guy from incubating center
B = boss
G: hey B, do u know this game studio is releasing this title soon. It’s a local company. Sounds cool.
Then they went to check the company profile. Found that the company has abt 40 staffs in total.
B: hey lunadev, do u know them? They have 40 people to make 2 titles. I think we’re the smallest company in the world that developing mobile games. Ha ha ha.
Me: oh, may be their project scope is complex. But I don’t think ours is the smallest company in the world making game. (We have 5 in total including him) there are others with only 2 ppl making games. (My sarcastic side took over me and said) I think we’re the only company in the world that has such small manpower with shortest deadline.
B: then how long do u think our timeline should be?
Me: abt 2 yrs? (Me considering all the artworks, features, testing time that we have to do)
B: urmmm I don’t think it’s that long. May be abt 6 months or a year at most?
G: ya, abt 6 months. Mobile games are not like desktop games or others so should be abt 6 months. Shouldn’t take that long.
Me: ... :)
Then I packed up my stuffs and left for the day. As for side note, boss designed the game himself and it took him 5 years to add complex features. And sometimes he will still come up to us and ask us to add that feature just cuz he was just inspired by another game he just played. Now can they tell us, this game can finish in 6 months? On what ground?
And another thing that he does gets on my nerve is that he plays game during office hours while the rest of us rushing for his project and campaign.
So, if I quit now, they’d still be in the middle of development. Oh and I’m the main programmer developing the game. So, erm.. Is it wrong?7
I am in an apprenticeship as a software developer so you might think I would have lots of stories to tell in wk73 but you could not be more wrong! Our school teachers don't care about us or the thing they teach!
BUT in the first year, our company payed to send all of their IT trainees to a special training facility and the coaches there where amazing!!!👍🏼
For every IT related subject there was a coach! And they were fucking experts!
Let me tell you how this "training" worked:
1. Basic introduction to a certain subject
2. Some basic tasks
2.1 Extended tasks for those who want to dig into it
3. Search some other students to team up
4. Define project
5. Discuss the project plan with a coach.
6. Realize project
6.1 - Question rises -
6.2 Discuss question with coach
6.3 Coach prepares prepares presentation on the questions subject
6.4 Coach sends out invitation to everyone
6.5 LEARN AND PROFIT
7. Awesome product is finished
8. Present project to other students
The awesome part about this is that the coaches pushed us to our limits (so we would keep improving) but they would assist with every problem you faced.
They where relatively young and the spirit within the teams were amazing!
Because not all IT trainees have this kind of training the professional school is pretty boring ever since...
But I silently thank them for that training after every exam at school.
I started as intern at the place. Worked unpaid for 4 months. Then they started paying. That's when shitload started. 5 web developers and 10 projects. 1 months later they fire one of us. Next month they fire another one. 3 developer and 8 projects. No documentation for they projects that were already started before I went there. Provide support for 3 year old project and nothing for reference. Salary was paid 10/15 days after the month war over. I couldn't take it anymore so I have a two months notice before leaving job. A month later all of the 3 android developers gave their notice. After we left, they haven't still paid us our final month's salary. Reason was it was not formal east of leaving and they projects we worked on haven't rolled out to market yet.
Talked and then mailed them the resignation two months in advance is not formal then I don't know what is.
Also how can the project be rolled out when there is specification change every 6 hour to 1 day on the project. Also we completed what was given to us and then the project hasn't rolled out because of new changes in the specification.
Uhm. Steam releases a new kernel with fsync patch. OK cool to test with but well you see Valve Arch users are not your ordinary bunch of people like Ubuntu.
Why the fuck not just give us the patches so we can apply them on our own to any kernel we wish ? IDK but hey 5.3 with fsync building.4
Windows users be like "Oh, it's fine. Our tent comfortably fits all my family and it's cold there for only half a year, but not too cold, just wear a coat while you're inside and you'll be fine. Clean water is only two miles away, walking is healthy after all. Yes, agents come every week and rape my wife but it only happens to newbs and honestly I respect that ritual, this is how life works. You only have to send three papers to them to ask them please not to rape us this week and they don't come for a whole week! I ain't stupid, I always carry my gun with me to shoot thugs"
Living with MacOS is just living. You pay the fee and they let you in.
Living with Linux can be just living too, but it can be much more, your skill and willingness to learn are always rewarded. I've been there, I used Arch.
But living with windows is always survival.22
Oh boi... that was a great and a shitty day.
Let us just see the positives tho.
A: Shopping in huge ass mall. (I hate Shopping, but not when it is about tech, cars, books, ahem playb... errrm just joking, food and Cinema I am all in.)
B: Visiting a place for animals living on the wild streets of Antalya. That place was right under the sun. It was not a building or anything like that. Near a well-known tower from the Osmanian Empire. There were a lot of kittens everywhere. The kittens were so cute. Omg. Most of them even had an own house. All of them colored in many different colors. Their houses have been donated by couples. Even the government helped the kittens by placing water refreshers with a roof above them. The man who is feeding them is someone who seemed to be like a poor man. He was very kind. I like him. We donated some money, but we could not do any more than that since we are not allowed to take them to Germany via air plane. Makes sense, right?
C: We made a boat trip. Oh boy... That was fucking awesome. I was allowed to get to the "nose" of the boat and chill there. I somehow found the confidence to take a group selfie with strangers LOL4
HELL YEAH! First day into the vacation and after checking the mails, I see that I have a new job offer from a company I have applied for. It is not the company with the highest priority on my list, but it is still cool to have them inviting me for a talk that fast.
Btw. I have a question to the experienced job switchers among us (I do not mean job switchers in a bad way).
What do you guys set your priorities on when it comes to joining a company? Do you have any tips for people who want to join a company in a general view? What NO-GOs can you give to us? Thanks.2
In-laws are vacationing in London right now (wife's parents and aunt/uncle), so to keep in touch with the kids, I installed+configured Skype on their phones (these are folks in their 70s, no where close to tech savvy), I think they are good to go.
Last night we try to connect (I 'see' them online)...nothing, so we call.
Me: "Did you see or hear the skype notification?"
Grandma: "Was that you? My phone made a weird sound I never heard before and I saw your picture. I wasn't sure what to do so pressed the red button."
Me: "Its the same sound and picture I showed you before you guys left, remember? That's OK, the kids want to see you and say hi. Hang up and when you hear the sound and see my picture, click the green accept button"
I try again...ring..ring...nothing. About a second later we receive a text "Grandpa hit something and your picture went away. What do I do now?"
So, I try again...ring..ring...they finally pick up (we can only hear them)
Grandma: "Hello...hello? I don't hear or see anything, damn it Fred, what did you hit?"
Grandpa: "Nothing Betty, you aren't holding it right, turn it sideways .."
Wife: "Guys..we can hear you, can you see us?"
Grandpa: "Press this button with the line crossed through it .."
Grandpa: "Hey!..See Betty, you had the phone turned wrong. Can you see us?"
Me: "No, you may have hit the video button..it looks like a little video camera, press it."
Grandma: "We did...nothing happened."
Me: "Are you sure? Try it again. The image may be grey or a little darkened, I don't remember."
Then we lose the sound.
Wife: "Oh good Lord they muted us. We're going to have to forget Skype and call them..."
All of a sudden we get video and sound. Cheers all around.
Then I hear in the background..
Uncle: "I thought 'PaperTrail' knew what he was doing? Apparently not."
I heard that and FU you, you old bastard. If you weren't a millionaire and paid for their London trip, I'd take 'knew what he was doing' and shove it up your ass when I see you.1
If any of you have been following my last few rants, you'll know I've been working on a project with a particularly difficult client, trying to meet wholly unrealistic deadlines with only one other developer.
The situation has reached the climax. The client had a call with our project manager and boss on Monday to discuss things. Despite them still not having paid a single bill since October, they've demanded the release date be moved to the 6th April. Apparently we'd agreed to release on this date, despite making no such promises, the (optimistic) deadline we were working towards has always been, since it was set about 2 weeks ago, the 16th April.
Apparently AWS migration won't take as long as we think it will, because the designers that do the CSS for this project say so, despite knowing nothing about the architecture of the requirements of the system once live (like if backups are required and what of).
The bottom line is that client is ending development with us the day after the project goes live to give it to their own in-house team. If they want us to work more after the date, they have to buy blocks of days.
To make things better, a large part of new functionality relies on an external API we can't even begin to do learning tests with, let alone integrate due to back-office errors on their end. They've had since Friday to give us our token, yet here we are.
Something tells me my holidays booked for for the first week of April are going by the wayside.4
In a previous job, I was trying to organize a common repository with our shitty business partner so we could both be able to contribute our part so our work would not overlap. Not like they cared anyways.
One thing I quickly noticed is those fuckers would just straight up commit untested changes on master and cripples our whole testing and prod deployment at times because we were depending on a shitty IoT service they provided us onto which we had no control whatsoever.
I told my boss, who was often complaining about them being unreliable in the first place, I would simply restrict them from merging and commiting to develop or to master without my approval. We cannot keep working like this.
He told me that we could not impose on them our work practices and that I should not try to piss them off. To be diplomatic.
I politely and professionally refused to do it, but he did change his mind in the end. He and I left not too long after. I guess he felt obliged to respond that having his job at stake but you cannot condone voluntarily shitty work.
We are three developers currently working on the exact same bug. And for the love of everything that is good, we can't figure out what the fucking fuck is going on here! Ok, we are all still students, two of will soon have their bachelors degree and one just finished his first semester. But we are not completely incompetent. We all code quite much as a hobby, and that since a few years. Now this bug occurs and puts all of us to shame.
The first one discovered the bug 4 days ago. We send a json object to the server and it can't be deserialized. But only if it is a PUT request it works fine with a POST.
The other stumbled upon it 2 days later. Both of them can't continue working until it is fixed. Now it is today and I, working on a different project, stumble upon the same fucking bug.
But hey, everything works fine if we use jdk 1.7u79 or older. With jdk 1.7u80 and newer it breaks. All of us read the patch news. None of us can figure out which change causes this. Fuck.5
This is PART 2/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering course years ago.
We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.
Rant 6: After the previous drama MT built the groundwork for the project without allowing us to intervene for a week. When he finally disclosed his code he gave us tasks and I was stuck unable to run the new project, due to the friction with MT I asked SR for help which took a couple of days. MT accused us of not wanting to work and claimed he’d just do everything himself. I continued working on the task improving MT’s code and committed the work, which surprised MT and told me I didn’t have to do it. He ended up complimenting my code and complained less about me as a result.
Rant 7: MT kept giving SR flak for not working and took him out of the repo, which I promptly forked just in case he tried anything scummy. SR was indeed working on certain things, but he wasn’t listening to MT’s demands, there was no team coordination. I had to act as a proxy and push some of SR’s changes myself while informing him of the state of things.
Rant 8: When MT finally added SR back and some of the tasks were cleared up, FT didn’t cooperate. She seemed to have zero initiative and always relied on MT to tell her what to do, which didn’t include coordinating with SR to get the front-end templates running. I tried getting them in a group chat but it didn’t work, she just ignored him.
I learned a few things from that.
1. No matter how smart or experienced someone may seem, sometimes people are just petty or take things too personally.
2. Top students are sometimes too focused on their grades and disregard depth of knowledge and work quality.
3. A bad team at college can somehow make something acceptable if everyone works on things that add some kind of value.1
Got our snazzy new HP Elitebooks from IT. Nice lil laptops.
Guess how many apps they installed for us off the list of "Applications Devs Need" that was submitted with the original request that they asked us to provide.
Goddamn 0. 0 Apps installed. ”Instead here is admin access, install what you want.”
Being a PC guy I don't mind setting up a new environment but things like Office365 and Adobe CC could of been installed for me, I don't have the licence info offhand so now I gotta bug IT again and why ask for a list if your not going to install any of them?? Ugh. I don't have time to sit here while Adobe installs the whole suite....
What's the first thing you install on your new PC? I find I grab ConEMU first.6
I feel bad for ranting about this.
So I just came out of a projects where a teammate was really slow. It's not that they weren't trying, like I was sitting across from them and can see them working. But seriously fing donkey balls, SO SLOW and subpar, it wasn't slow and steady to win the race, it was slow and steady to just barely pass.
Like we had two weeks for this project, we've had all of the planning done, now on the last 4 days it was just finishing up the implementation. And everything to come out of this person would take ages, slow everyone else done, and would need to be redone by someone else.
I really do feel bad for hating, cuz this person is doing there best and it's just not good enough. They listen, pay attention, but it's like they can't improve.
It just sucks... Because their ambition and effort is not being paid off and is pulling us down...3
A follow up rant to my former rant. I am not a hardcore privacy guy myself, but this is more of a matter of principle.
ts legit fucking bullshit how the bank just called me, if i didnt send a hell lot of informations about myself, then my bank account would be deleted and lose all my savings and money.
Its ridiculous how banks themselves have been able to do money laundering of billions of euros and the governments responds to this is to criminalise the average citizen by collecting a hell lot of data.
We are also talking about how companies are collecting data, and the laws the protect us from them, but in the end its pretty useless, so long governments are able to do whatever they want and we cant do anything about it.6
My family had a very good understanding of what I'm doing.
My dad is working at a big software company as project manager (he himself did code years ago, but it's actually a physicist).
My mum is a language teacher, but has taught herself web design while she wasn't working in her job (taking care of us kids) and was working as self employed web designer from home for some years.
My youngest brother is studying business informatics.
My other brother is not studying anything technical, but very open minded towards these topics and has good knowledge about it.
My grandparents believe what I told them: "I (read as: software developers) create everything that happens in your computer after you've turned it on."1
Ok let's get our hate and love out for the 3 main OS types, tell us why you hate or love each of them.
Windows: I hate its lack of customisation, colours and wallpapers only go so far, and how fucking bloated it is and how little you can do about it.
Linux: it's open, free, and pretty much a sandbox for changes and is lightweight, plus if you don't like something about it, remove it, whats not to love!
MacOS: I love it because it just works and could also run on a potato (yeah I said it, fight me) and it's just a very good looking is with fluid animations and simplicity.
Now, don't be hating on people's opinions here so keep it civil :-P13
FUCK ASUS FUCK service centers
Fuck Asus. My laptop charger was not working and I called them. These fucking people asked me to get my warranty approved because according to thier database they only have manufacturing date. So they said send us the invoice and we will update it So they wanted me to wait 5 days to get an entry updated in their database. 😑😑 After this shit. I have to wait 7 days for a new charger. These people and Thier service it's shit shit shit4
My university had a Programming Fundamentals course in the first semester and we got assigned this grumpy lady who demanded respect and would always claim she was the best at programming among her colleagues, had an obnoxiously snobbish tone and had a habit of forcing unneeded nonsensical sarcasm everytime one of us stepped up to ask her a question.
She taught C++ and I'm not saying she didn't know her stuff or anything; I respected her regardless (because she was my teacher), but she would mix up C classes in and insist that that was the right way to do it and had no consistent programming style.
Once she got so fed up with our class that just to prove her point that we're all dumb and worthless (she hated us a lot, yeah) that she started explaining binary trees and recursion out of the blue and gave us assignments for them... even though they weren't going to be covered that week. It soon became a shitfest, to be honest.
But on the plus side, because I didn't wanna listen to her lectures I pulled two all-nighters and covered the semester's worth of C++ and started napping in a corner in her class. She never had personal beef with me so I was thankful for that but her being the way she was helped me learn C++ with more motivation and vigor than I normally would have and also let me earn some change because my classmates couldn't understand her classes and wanted me to explain whatever she covered.
ATLAST THEY REMOVED THE NEXT BUTTON!
I have read it so many times that 90% of Google users never click the next page button and thought , that's completely true, even I don't do that. Why don't they remove it?Nice philosophical move, Google.
Although , to think about it,i guess they are smartly hiding a trick to respond back on the site-priority accusations : "No , we are not moving the local sites to later pages while featuring in the Google search(than the ones who are paying us hefty loads of for ad-money, or say amazon). You see, their is no 'next' page. They are all there on your screen. Just get a 30 inch long screen and you will see them all. "
Every meeting that contains one or more of the following points:
- "I don't think it belongs in the meeting, but"
- "Didn't get the meeting notes"
- "When's the food coming?"
- "I know we've said no technical discussion, but..."
- "Why is he so strict, this is no fun meeting at all :("
- "I think it's unfair to include risk assessment, you blame US before XY is finished"
- "The admins / the Team XY / ZX didn't talk with us, so we don't talk with him / her / them..."
- "Why are we here?"
- "Why is it so bad when production is down?"
- "I didn't know we do security / audit checks... Why hasn't anyone told us?"
- "Not happening. I'm against it"
- "I don't want to work with XY - he doesn't do it like I want it"
I could add thousand more things here.
I had countless meetings where I really thought that I was an alien who got broadcasted in a comedy reality TV soap...9
Alright, so we got this big relaunch coming this week. Big website for a big company, that somehow only employs one (1) IT guy. My company did web stuff for them for ages. IT guy went on a 7 day vacation last week, and now he fires tickets at us like he's an AR-15. I'm not kidding, the simplest issues (that are mostly just him not reading instructions) get a showstopper priority ticket opened up. My email inbox is literally only him and his bullshit.
TL;DR don't go on vacation the week before a huge relaunch then ignore any instructions given to you
My Data Communication & Computer Networks (DCCN) teacher was the best teacher I've seen.
Teaching can be super hard. You're one against like sixty others who aren't interested in being there. To make that good learning environment, making the subject interesting etc, it not easy. Some justify that, "I can only bring the horse to the water" & proceed to just regurgitate whatever is on the book. Others cross question you & impose punishments - try to make you learn by fear.
But my DCCN teacher - she had the right balance between strictness & humour. So kids took her seriously (did homework, weren't late), yet never feared her - we felt comfortable asking doubts/questions.
She had some good tactics, like asking us to teach certian chapters - that made us learn better. She would revise them in the end also, incase we missed anything.
My best moment with her was when I scored the highest in my internals. She picked up my paper & showed the class - "see? Just two pages & he scored so much". There's was always those students who pump out a lot of stories/essays or whatever that comes to their mind about the topic in question. Lots of teachers just blindly give marks - "oh, s/he wrote this much, so it must be right".
But my DCCN teacher had zero tolerance for garbage. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Some even believe that the number of marks = number of lines you have to write!! Doesn't matter what you write. So, I was super glad when this teacher upped the standards.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. We brought on a vendor to provide us some fancy OCR tool. It barely works. It's been barely working. And the vendor is so adamant it works it's so difficult to get them to send people onsight to work with us. We complained about it to the exec and we got "Oh they're a tech startup. You have to help them along with developing their process blah blah blah". Well they don't want help we offered they keep existing their shit is top secret (and it works). When they make changes remotely it's like they blindly make a change and then throw it to us to test. When we can get them to come in they hang around till the problem is fixed (more than once we've had to tell them how to fix it.) and they fly as fast as they fucking can through the door. A guy on my team even built something similar backed by Azure but we were given directive to work with them. And now we're getting pressure about delays in launch. But it's not our fault. The vendors asshole lying CEO keeps making shit up and we're told to work with it. Yet it's our fault that we missed deadlines? fuck this place !!! fuck all of this !!!6
I have just slept for a minimum of 5 hours. It is 7:47 PM atm.
We have had a damn stressful day today.
We have had a programming test, but it really was rather an exam.
Normally, you get 30 minutes for a test and 45 minutes for an exam.
In this "test" we have had to explain what 'extends' does and name a few advantages of why one should use it.
Read 3 separate texts and write the program code on paper. It was about 1 super class and 1 sub class with a test class in Java.
Task 3: Create the UML diagram of the code from above. *internally: From above? He probably means my code since there is no other code there. *Checks time*. I have about 3 minutes left. Fuck my life.*
Draws the boxes. Put the class names in each of them. A private attribute for the super class.
Teacher: Last minute!
Draw the arrow starting starting from the sub class to the super class.
Put my name on each written paper. And mentally done for the day. Couldn't finish the last task. Task 3.
During this "test", I heard the frustrations of my classmates. Seemed like everyone was pretty much pissed.
After a short discussion with the teacher who also happens to be the physics professor of a university nearby.
[If you are reading this, I hope that something bad happens to you]
The next course was about computer systems. Remember my recent rant about DNS, dhcp, ftp, web server and samba on ubuntu?
We have had the task to do the screenshots of the consoles where you proof that you have dhcp activated on win7 machine etc. Seemed ok to me. I would have been done in 10 minutes, if I would be doing this relaxed. Now the teacher tells us to change the domain names to <surnameOfEachStudent>.edu.
I was like: That's fine.
Create a new user for the samba server. Read and write directories. Change the config.
Me: That should be easy.
Create new DNS entries in the configs.
Change the IPv6 address area to 192.168.x.100-200/24 only for the dhcp server.
Change the web server's default page. Write your own text into it.
You will have 1 hour and 30 minutes of time for it.
Dumbo -ANGRY-CLIENT-: Aye. Let us first start screenshotting the default page. Oh, it says that we should access it with the domain name. I don't have that much time. Let us be creative and fake it, legally.
Changes the title element so that it looks like it has been accessed via domain name. Deletes the url and writes the domain name without pressing Enter. Screenshot. Done. Ok, let us move to the next target.
Dhcp: Change lease time. Change IP address area. Subnet mask. Router. DNS. Broadcast. Optional domain name. Save.
Switches to win7.
Holy shit it does not work!
After changing the configs on ubuntu for a legit 30 minutes: Maybe I should change the ip of the ubuntu virtual machine itself. *me asking my old self: why did not you do that in the first place, ass hole?!*
Same previous commands on win7 console. Does not work. Hmmm...
Where could be the problem?
Check the IP of the ubuntu server once again. Fml. Ubuntu did not save when I clicked on the save button the first time I have changed it. Click on save button 10 times to make sure it really is saved now lol.
Same old procedure on win7.
Alright. Dhcp works. Screenshot.
Checks time. 40 minutes left.
DNS:It is your turn. Checks bind9 configs. sudo nano db.reverse.edu.
sudo nano db.<mysurname>.edu.
Alright. All set. It should work now.
Ping win7 from ubuntu and vice versa. Works. Ping domain name on windows 7 vm. Does not work.
Oh, I forgot to restart the bind9 server on ubuntu.
sudo service bind stop
" " " start
Check DNS server IP on win7. It looks fine.
It still doesn't work. Fuck it. I have only 20 minutes left. Samba. Let us do this!
10 minutes in. No result. I don't remember why. I already forgot why I have done for it. It was a very stressful day.
Let us try DNS again.
Oh shit. I forgot the resolver!
sudo nano /etc/resolv.conf
The previous edits are gone. Dumb me. It says it in the comments. Why did not I care about it. Fuck it.6 minutes left. Open a yt video real quick. Changes the config file. Saves it. Restarts DNS and dhcp. Closes the terminal and opens a new one. The changes do not affect them until you reopen them. That's why.
Change to win7.
Ping works. How about nsloopup.
Does not work.
Teacher: 2 minutes left!
Saves the word document with the images in it. Export as pdf. Tries to access the directories of the school samba server. Does not work. It was not my fault tho. Our school server is in general very slow. It feels like they are not maintained and left alone like this in the dust from the 90s.
Friend gets the permission to put his document on a USB and give the USB to the teacher.
Sneaky me: Hey xyz, can you give me your USB real quick?
Gets bombed with "do you want to format the USB?" pop-ups 10 times. Fml. Skips in a fast way.
Transfers the pdf. Plug it out. Give it back.
After this we have had to give a presentation in politics. I am done.6
Managing a small team - poorly.
I was in charge of testing a legacy calculations engine together with two scientists, for whom I set up a python and interop environment so they could test the engine easily.
The two were very excited at the thought of validating the calculations and in fact found many bugs.
I was very supportive, told them to fix the bugs and gave them a pet on the back.
All three of us were happy the legacy engine is shaping up, that's until my boss heard of it, and boy did he grill me hard for it.
Turns out our efforts were highly unappreciated by the client, whose only request was that we test the engine and report the bugs. Not to fix them. My goodwill cost the company a lot of money, since the client paid by the hour, and was now due a refund. Crap.
It took me a year to finally understood the moral of the story. Which is to always respect the client's wishes and convey maximum transparency to him.
Today I removed all the stickers I had on my laptop, and it looks pretty clean and better now.
I still remember the day when I would do anything to collect schwag and free stickers. In fact - I joined devRant just to get those free stickers XD.
but yesterday I had to do a presentation in my college and during the presentation, I realized how stupid it is to have a laptop filled with laptop stickers.
What I used to chase in the past, is what I am getting rid of in present. And it is true with many other things as well. We crave things and once we get them it hardly matters to us.
I sometimes wonder what life is really about, and is there anything that we can cherish forever and not take for granted?13
My boss asked us all to do a 360 review of
Our colleagues. I HATE ratting on my colleagues, even though someone of them are rubbish programmers. He’s the boss, if he doesn’t know how to tell who the bad eggs are, why should I help? It’s not like it get paired for for helping him or get any shares if the company does well.
I won’t rat of my colleagues.1
Ever find something that's just faster than something else, but when you try to break it down and analyze it, you can't find out why?
I decided I'd test it with a typical discord bot-style workload (decoding a JSON theoretically from an API, checking if it contains stuff, format and then returning it). It was... 1.73x the speed of python.
(Though, granted, this code is more network dependent than anything else.)
Mean +- std dev: [kitsu-python] 62.4 us +- 2.7 us -> [kitsu-pypy] 36.1 us +- 9.2 us: 1.73x faster (-42%)
Me: Whoa, how?!
So, I proceed to write microbenches for every step. Except the JSON decoding, (1.7x faster was at least twice as slow (in one case, one hundred times slower) when tested individually.
The combination of them was faster. Huh.
By this point, I was all "sign me up!", but... asyncpg (the only sane PostgreSQL driver for python IMO, using prepared statements by default and such) has some of it's functionality written in C, for performance reasons. Not Cython, actual C that links to CPython. That means no PyPy support.
Tales from University Tech Support:
Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30
Obviously not a Math Major...
It feels like half of what I do is just tell people that their code sucks and it needs to be replaced, then I drag them through the 5 stages of grieving the loss of an application that has them trapped in an abusive relationship.
The unique and complicated needs of our business lead to this unique and complicated architecture. This is all here for a reason, and it's all needed.
What do you mean it's going to take 6 months to rebuild this? We made MVP in 3 months!
Surely we don't need to throw it all away! There must be something worth salvaging!
Stake holders and going to think we're not getting anything done! This is a nightmare 😭
Six months later...
Holy shit thank god we got away from that glass tower before it shattered and cut us all to pieces! Side note: development velocity is on fleek. #profit3
On the one hand, as an avid programmer having a non-programmer partner, we (I) once wanted to mod some Gameboy Pokémon games (Crystal), but the games were written in Assembly and I was definitely not getting myself into that. My partner was rather sad, as this was quite a big project for the both of us, but it was never finished, and it was still complicated to explain to him why Assembly is such a bitch. Nevertheless, we found other projects to have fun with (simplest of them: random movie picker that chooses a movie based on title/genre/etc. from our own movie list file).
On the other hand, explaining and making programming exciting for people who are not into it, so you still seem like an interesting person for new dates (poly relationship), is really hard. But I would also blame my introverted self and not only programming for unsuccessful dating :D
Doing like Penelope, adding crazy features commissioned by our boss and removing them the day after 'cause they're useless and "that's not what the client wants". Boss, let us finish this fucking shroud, so that we can bury you with it!!
not exactly a hack but i started a prank war between us ( helpdesk team) and the pc team by pranking one of them with nirsoft and psexec.
at first he didnt really realize why his browser crashes and his cdrom opens and closes randomly.
So I was having problem logging in to slack. It seemed like their two-factor authentication was not working. So I kept on pondering and pondering. Then suddenly a light bulb was lit in my brain. I said to myself, "what would an ordinary muggle do? They surely will click on this contact us button and raise a ticket with them." So that's exactly what I did.
so after a while slack did sent me 16 text messages together as a sweet reward of my trials. I was happily working in Slack and then I realised they in fact did answer my ticket. The only thing is I just needed to log in to get the answer I need. I am happily reminded I wasnt the only fuckwit left into existence...
Cleaning up my desk at the office today. As I'm sure is the case with most of us, I have a draw that's full of old technical crap that's not currently in use (mice, charging cables, USB hubs, routers, access points, cameras, old phones and iPads, you get the idea).
Found out that not only do I have an extra Mini-DVI to HDMI dongle; I apparently have 3 of them. That's more than I've got available Mini-DVI ports to begin with.2
Today my teacher said to not even touch our PC's because we can destroy them... It's not like we're already 18 and he's supposed to teach us how to use and repair them because the school subject is called "exploitation of computer technology devices". Also he said we can use books while exams so I wasted my time on learning where is every option in kmail, hopefully there was more questions about terminal and FTP... (I wanted to pass this exam with my own knowledge to learn anything and there's my 100%). This guy is so annoying :/4
Team of 5 post-grad students working on a single big project for final grade. Been working on this project since last 3 months. 2 of the memebers of my team doens't even know what we are building and we have to present it in 2 weeks, their contribution is less than 5%. How do people not think that its a project for all of us to do and its fucking 30 credits when the course itself is 90. The professors have asked us to give feedback for each member privately and i dont want to give negative feedback about them as they will lose way too many points for it.4
Is it just me or is the majority of all additional slack apps really just crap? Many cannot even be installed because the website is no longer available (WorkingOn as an example).
Not a single app really helps us in our workflow. I lost the interest to try more of them :(1
Me: "tokens are not mined in general, instead there are gas fees"
Them: "you will charge us for gas fees?"
Me: "no that's not us, that's the decentralized network doing that"
Them: "but we are using hyperledger to generate tokens."
Me: "yea in theory there are no gas fees, but you now have to manage the decentralized network"
Them: "i see, so since there is only probably 2 or 4 in the network, do we still charge ourselves? how do we define gas fees?"
(You don't see...)
Me: "i don't think there are gas fees"
Them: "got it, who set the gas fees"
(Um you don't got it...)
Okay I'm guessing everyone here has experienced something like this but...
I dev for Company A and we have various other companies and clients utilize our service. Now, a client from Company B comes to us and says that they are having problems signing in. Apparently the page just tells them "Can't sign in".
"That's odd," I think to myself, "because our failed sign-in messages aren't that terse and usually tell you why."
I look on the system, client is registered under Company B and has verified their email address. All good there. My guess? Trying to sign in to the wrong site (we have a jobs site too) because that sometimes comes up first on the googs.
We get an email from client just now: "Hi, still can't sign in. Please see screenshot below."
I shit you not, she was trying to sign in to her own company's website that clearly had "Company B" written above the sign in box.1
Was an internal auditor translating department process to a technical spec for a programmer. We were going to leverage an external company's API which would replace our need to use their slow and buggy web app.
During a meeting, an audit teammate suggested something be changed with the external service we were using. I said we could bring it up with the company but we shouldn't rely on it because we were a small customer even during out busiest month (200 from us vs 10000+ from big banks).
Teammate said we should have our programming team fix it. I made it clear that it was not our side and that to build out the service on our side was beyond our scope. Teammate continued to bring it up during the meeting then went back to desk after meeting and emailed us all marked up screenshots of the feature.
I ignored this and finished writing up the specs, sending them over to the programmer building out the service.
30 minutes later I get a call from programmer's manager who was quite angry at an expanded scope that was impossible (engineers were king at this company. Best not to anger them). Turns out my teammate had emailed his own spec to the programmers full of impossible features that did not reference the API docs.
I feel bad about it now but I yelled at my teammate quite loudly. I said he was spending time on something that was not reasonable or possible and when they continued to talk about their feature I yelled even louder.
Didn't get fired but it definitely tagged me as an asshole until I left. Fair enough :)
My first gig was with an MSP doing tech support and eventually some proper infrastructure design and mangement.
Regularly myself and colleagues would find reasons why we should be doing things 'this way' and how we're doing wrong by our customers by not following best practices. (Things like firmware upgrades on routers, switches, servers)
We regularly got shutdown, just told 'no, it's not to be touched if it isn't breaking'. This obviously got us pretty worked up and kinda devided us.
The thing is, It wasn't until my next gig that I sorta realised they were kinda right to shut us down. There was clearly a risk to reward equation we weren't thinking about as employees with no financial stake in the company.
In an enterprise setting, sure doing those kinds of upgrades is necessary, and normally you have a team full of experts and tools to help you do those tasks whilst also mitigating as much risk as possible.
So at the time it felt like a bad experience, but looking back now I realise that from a business perspective it wasn't practical for us to constantly risk breaking things just because 'i read somewhere that we should do this'.
I think to be successful as a developer, IT tech, systems engineer, it's really important to get to know the other departments of the business and how the work you do affects them.1
Fucking group projects fuck them oh so much fucking fuck fuck fuck.
What's that? You want to basically ignore the spec and do something else? Fuck.
Wait, let's not use the great resources given to us? Fucking fuck.
Oh, you're just going to ignore the fact that everyone else disagrees with you? Fuckity fuck fuck.
I am so angry. You don't get to railroad your team.
You fucker. Ugh.
Oddly enough, i have simultaneously been less busy and more productive since working 66% remotely.
I find myself with more time that feels "wasted" or not busy, but my metrics show that I have more production, better results, and far nicer documentation. A bunch of us also sat down and did a bunch of coursework on really putting together a domain script library for one click onboarding of new servers or new client setups. We spun up a bunch of new virtual environments that literally solved headaches that had existed for years that never got dealt with because of too many other tickets.
Some of our web clients freaked out at us because the business is moving away from doing maintenance of legacy web work (small to midsize businesses). But it didn't matter. Rather than respond with a "make them happy," the response was "well, we will get rid of them as clients. We need to focus our energy on the essential service sectors we support."
Hell, we even got an automated test that has been broken apparently since 2018 to work again.
Granted, the incoming workload has slowed down. But it's still interesting to me to see that despite the slowdown, there isn't any concern; its still paying the bills and we are getting rid of technical debt everywhere. Tbh, this has really been a good reality check.1
The contact forms sent emails from no-reply@ and in the last meeting the client told us a colleague of them asked once who "No repli" was and why he's not answering her emails. Well...
(German client, so she may not knew what "no reply" means)3
So for the past month I've been working on a new website for my department, it looks beautiful has a custom CMS and is all around great (not to tout my own horn or anything). Now my boss has taken it to the marketing department to get a final approval and they responded saying that a lot of departments are complaining about not being able to maintain their pages and how terrible the current ones look. They want to create WP sites for all the department's and make us maintain them. I know why I hate WordPress but they can't understand what's so bad about it. How do I convince them my custom solution is better than the monstrosity of WordPress?2
This Rant is for all those toddlers like me who are exploring new places and platforms
I've worked on various platforms and interacted with various people everywhere. But believe me I've always categorised people in two : one who help and other who don't.
The one who don't help are indeed are of two types: one who know everything and want to pull you down
The other who know everything but guide you.
Most of us face the one who want to pull you down.
I'll suggest you to not get influenced by them.
They are everywhere, they might comment on my last post, they might -- my rant but still I love those who guide me.7
To give you some context, in the past year we have change managers 3 times. Obviously our process (we were trying to follow agile) has suffer the most with all these changes since it seems the managers that have been assigned to us are not really IT people.
We are using TFS (I know...) for our builds and for our scrum and kanban boards, only use developers and QA are really using the board and all the benefits that it provides and the managers are oblivious to what TFS is. I have tried offering them training and workshops but they just don't want to learn.
And now they want us to keep the requirement information on word documents and Excel instead. I'm not sure I can continue my battle against Word/Excel...
I understand they are valuable tools but... Is it really difficult to use a tool that was made specifically for that and it's as easy as filling some text fields and click a button? Why is it so hard to understand that if you want to know the status of a task is as simple as following a link where you can find all the related information?
I think I'm loosing it, even the other developer on my team is in support of using Word... of course the guy doesn't know agile and his cards on the board are shit making him work with QA all the time....
Feel like I'm alone here....4
My manager just told me this at the end of the work day.
Today, my manager got a call from client "X".
They wanted to know why issue "Y" happened at event "Z" that was being put on for their client.
My manager basically told them we had nothing to do with that part of the event, so we wouldn't have had anything to do with solving problem "Y" either, but that what ended up causing problem "Y" had been passively mentioned to us months ago, and that he's not sure why their client didn't communicate it.
Client "X" told my manager that they would call back after talking to their person that helped organize event "Z".
No call back.
Definitely rant-ish, but also kind of a funny/ridiculous story to end the work day with.4
So, I work as a sysadmin junior (6 months and going), and in the past few months, I learned what my boss warned me about - Devs don't understand us admins, and we don't understand the devs.
We have this huge client who is about to migrate to our company (We do mostly server managment/Housing/Renting), and I am so gald I don't have to work on the migration myself!
Just hearing what the company devs say makes me facepalm: No, it won't work. It cannot work on just 3 machines (They use like... 20 in total), no, we won't get rid of our docker swarm, that's essential (Doing the absolute minimum in their infrastructure, just a fancy buzzword to lure people on. Though they've spent like 2 years developing the app that uses it, so they my not want to give it up).
I kid you not, once, they replied to an email that contained the phrase "To be afraid of/worried about" something during the migration, that something could break, not work, be unstable. 7 times.
Might not sound as bad, but it was a rather short mail, and when they're so afraid of everything, its kinda hard to cooperate with them.
My colleague literally spent this entire week mapping out /their/ infrastructure, because they were unable to provide us with the description themselves.
And as a cherry on top, they sent us a "graph" of relationships of all the parts of their infrastructure that was this jumbled mess of rectangles and arrows. Oh, and half of all the machines were not even in the graph at all! Stating that "We also have all this, but I really don't know how to ilustracte the interactions anymore"
Why do companies like that exist? If you build an infrastructure yourself, shouldn't at least someone know exactly how it works?1
Current design philosophy is that the user should be presented with fewer options, fewer ways to do things. Users shouldn't be empowered to created what they want, but should be "guided" into building what we (software designers) think they should have. That is almost verbatim from our company's product and C level officers and is echoed without deviation by product owners and strategists in our company. Holy crap what a bunch of presumptuous, arrogant, idiots. That holier than thou attitude promotes disdain for the customer: "the customer doesn't know better, so let's prevent them from doing it any way but X." The focus is entirely on what's easier for us, not what helps the user solve their problems. That's not a service oriented anymore, that just a bunch of pretentious dickheads that are on the road to losing customers.4
About 6-9 months ago or so I try emphasizing the need to collect business rules with one of my colleagues. I tell them how it might take a few days to get the owners to define mutually exclusive and completely exhaustive terms, but doing so would immediately allow us to resolve all sorts of data quality issues. Well, naturally this gets ignored and then about a week or two ago the same person is wondering why they can't get consistent results when different people try to query the piece of shit "data system" that we have. Since they know I'm already leaving for another gig, I'm torn on whether or not to pull out the "I told you so..." card or to sit silently and listen to them piss and moan all day.6
aight cool so this is fucking stupid thanks Tk
my python teacher is putting us through Tkinter right after "this is how to do basic math" in a class meant for those with no programming knowledge at all
and i remember now why i only do CLI
i've got 2 lines in a func (because "command" params in Tk are fucking retarded), the first changes the text on a button and then the second does shit with os.system ("have this button change this other button then do *something*" ok sure) and yet the button's text does not update until AFTER THE OS.SYSTEM COMMAND FINISHES. I can't even insert a moment between them for it to update in case it needs a sec as time.sleep does *FUCK ALL*
fuck tk, luckily we're gonna move on to files next
(goddamn prereqs, sticking me in this shitty class...)8
I remember when I was at vocational school, my teacher sat us down and had use start web development with HTML, (HTML wasn’t my first programming experience but that’s a rant for another day) and after I printed Hello World and changed it’s color, I was even more hooked than ever. This is something that’s fun, and interesting and I don’t need to pay to do or be around specific things to be able to practice. I can do this at home or at school and I can make my own programs if I need them, automate mundane tasks, and learn so much more about technology than ever.
And the final thing that sealed the deal was I could do this and make money and not be stuck in a field I would be miserable in. Which was a very important factor for me.4
Fair / Not Fair
I hate when an interviewer would ask me to code something for them for technical interview.( happy to show non propitiatory previous work) So now that I am the one doing the interviewing, I am doing what I would have wanted, and I have to say it is working out. I thought I would share my experience so far and find out if the community at large sees this practice as fair or not fair.
People reply to the job post then I call and do quick phone interview ask a few key questions. After I find somone I think should go the next level I direct them to freelancer site and give them a paid project.
most recent project: Build simple(i mean really simple) ASP.net Core MVC web application (code first) that remotely connects to SQL server and can be published in linux ubuntu.
bla bla user accounts/ subscription bla bla. But it must me completed in 10 days. reward $1000.00 us dollars.
I build the SQL server for them and put blank database in and provide connection details.
To be fair
I have already built this app my self it and it took me 5 days.
So, Fair / not Fair11
Our systems lead is trying to tell our software person how much adding unit tests would cost. It also sounds like he wants TDD to be added in after the fact. And he's bitching because the software guy won't move forward with it until we get it with the customer. He also wants all of them automated, but doesn't want to accept that that is going to cost a lot. Like a lot, a lot. This is a guy who doesn't know algorithms (had to explain dykstra to him), doesn't understand the tech stack we are using (I had to explain .net versions, the JIT compiler, and garbage collection to him), and seems not to understand hardware (I had to explain floating point math to him), yet he feels qualified to tell us how long it is going to take us to implement automated unit tests for major, complex features.
Previous job I worked, we had a system for taking bookings. I may have made a slight miscalculation in implementing the payment api. Which resulted in people being double charged, undercharged etc. Tbh the payment gateway was ancient and we had to grapple with their SOAP API not fun. But just shows we all made mistakes, suppose it's how you deal with them, when they crop up that defines us as devs.
Just realised - even if I are usually on collision course with central IT they save me a whole lot of "can you help me with this?" by not letting us do anything ourselves. Printers, new software, settings, startpages, drivers, browsers etc. Everything has to go through them.
Add the fact that the last Windows machine I've had was a P4 when XP came out and I'm in the clear for a whole lot of helping out. "Sorry but I only use Debian and OS X, but you could ask our IT people" :)
Have any developer here ever gone on strike?
I've been at my company for two years, and know engineers that have been here for 3 years that have never got a single salary raise. A lot of the engineers are afraid to step up to management because of their visas literally being in the company's hands (lucky I'm not one of them).
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my company playing ring around the rosy with raises and treating engineers like we're not human. Treating us just as cash cows. Yes, it's a business, but if sales, data science, and PMs can be treated with respect, we should as well.9
i am taking some pills for hemorrhoids and yesterday i was combined them with my third coffee. Somehow i was full of energy and i started coding like f crazy. I was literally writing code withe the speed and tension you see in movies, or if you like it, like our non tech bosses are thinking we work 8 hours a day for granted. I did not know what was happening, i was typing correctly, fast, and i want to live it again. Dope, adrenaline, aggression!
The code must fear us, not we the code!2
as a seasoned systems eng myself, i had huge mental block of "i am not a programmer" whining when starting to incorperate agile/infrastructure as code for more seasoned syseng staff.
leadership made devops a role and not a practice so lots of growing pains. was finally able to win them over by asking them to look at how many 'scripts' and 'tools' they wrote to make life easier... and how much simpler and sustainable using puppet/ansible/chef/salt... and checking in all our sacred bin files and only approved 'scripts' would be pushed thru automation tool after post review.
we still are not programmers or developers, but using specific practices and source control took some time but saving us loads of time and gives us ability to actually do engineering
but just have 2 groups of younger guys that grew up wanting to be the bofh/crumudgen get off my systems types that are like not even 30... frustrating as they are the ones that should be more familiar with the shift from strictly ops to some overlap. and the devs that ask for root now that they can launch instances on aws or can launch docker containers and microservice..... ugggg. these 2 groups have never had to rack and stack servers, network gear, storage... just all magic to them because they can start 50 servers with a button click.
try to get past the iam roles, acls, facls, selinux and noshell i have been pushing. bitches.
Don' you just love it when your project leader's superior (who is not involved in development or know a thing about the dev process whatsoever) barges in and asks you to port a project originally targeted for Oculus (and so, very graphiclly heavy) to Android in less than an hour? Obviously when it's not done on time, has performance issues or randomly crashes on a different API it's the dev's fault, not the shitty decision making behind the managers. (btw the company doesnt even have android devices for us devs to test on, we HAVE to borrow them from other colleagues). FML!!!!2
It's somewhat nice here. The thing is we have a lot of infrastructure problems and it's hard to implement business here which made it hard to find a job. But if you're working with US clients, it's fine. Internet access and electricity is not reliable, but you can find a workaround.
As a consumer of digital services, it's weird as we're pretty close to the US (2 hours flight) and there's not an embargo against us, but payment processing services won't touch us (legalization is awful for them), so good luck paying with any local issued card. And if anything is country restricted, we're right next to Cuba (Again, legalization). Paypal, Spotify, iTunes, most of Netflix, a few cloud providers.
Yeah, that's it. Right next to the US and no embargo and willingness to learn other languages (Easy to find French, English and Spanish speaker), but with big infrastructure problems (Internet and Electricity) so you can be really qualified and not get a job.
I'm in Haiti.4
I was a bit confused when my supervisor told me to use Windows VM through Vagrant for testing environment. AFAIK each VM should be treated as a single machine, so it requires a Win license.
There are several criterias for us to be able to use Win WM legally.
One of them is Qualified Multitenant Hoster (QMTH) Program from MS, it authorizes qualified 3rd-party hosting service providers to host customers’ Win VM. Other option is to check if we have on-premise dedicated use rights.
I don't know if we fulfill any of the criteria. I don't want to cause any trouble so I am not gonna ask my supervisor about it.6
Anyone ever had that one classmate/Co-worker who's condesending sometimes?
Like you tell them you and your friends busy, he asks how are you guys busy and you tell him, but he replies with his own list of stuff that sounds like a job for 5 people (sounds like bullsh*t to me..) that makes him busy and rubs it in our face like "aw come on, i can do all that with my eyes closed" and he makes sure everyone in the room could hear it, Not just us.
What had a long day... i need my cat.
My current project, it's been a 4 month slog working with a client service team who said they read the spec but didn't, said they reviewed the wireframes but didn't , let us work for 2 months off course ( ignoring our nightly builds links and logins all the while but acting as though all was GREAT) before sending us a series of what I can only describe as 'WTF is this?' emails, this wasn't what we expected.... *Queue wind blowing and tumbleweed moments*.. A serious left turn and some back and forth trying of gently ( but eventually 'less' gently) educating them on what processes are, and why we have them... We're now at Beta day T-7 days somehow nearing stable and ... Today.... Today I get an email with another 4 weeks worth of change requests .... Using rage trigger classics like " maybe we forgot to mention... " And " didn't we discuss X?...." The hardest part is trying g to keep my team's morale up, nothing worse than having you deadline victory shot dead with " it's not quite Carling though is it?"
Add on too they failed to send us any content until a month ago ( 3 months late).... Yeah, this one has had me closer than ever to the edge of the cliff...2
Revision to the Peter/Dilbert Principle, the ProjektAquarius principle: a company will systematically shift the least competent employee on to the assignments the competent employees can't be bothered to do until they become an integral part of the team and drag you down with them. (E.g. eventually they completely fuck up your delivery process, although it's probably still cheaper and quicker than having them do anything else.)
ProjektAquarius principle: A Case Study
We have an engineer who is getting paid quite a bit more than me. Over time his responsibilities have gradually been reduced to documentation and running our almost entirely automated build. Well today the build failed. He pulls me over to tell me, and says he's confused because there is a file there he has never seen before in there and a file he always has seen that isn't there (basically a file got renamed. It was not non-obvious). Answer: change the file name.
Then he comes over and tells us that it's failing again because the script is not finding a file. So a coworker of mine and I go over. He explains the whole build process to us when we ask if there is any point in the script that would help us identify where the script is looking for the file and failing (there wasn't but that's besides the point).
Turns out, he had decided to put the assembly list in order. Normally no problem, but the list is in source destination pairs. So the fucking file was being put in a different directory than the one the script was looking for it in and failing. And that's the story about how my company just paid 3 engineers a quarter of a man hour each for something that would have been resolved in 30 seconds via file search/copying and pasting a file path. Related note: our process for building an install is now about 4 hours long with no change on process besides the BCAK.
I really like the details disclosure element:
I've heard there's some accessibility concerns, but man I really like it...
I kinda wish HTML had more every day kinda functions built in. Yeah it's not hard to build these make them modular in your own code, but it would be nice if HTML had some of them standard.4
Guy who has been with us for 6 months, I was trying to help him out, then he saw me use chrome dev tools and said he's never used them before... He's not someone I hired2
should i update to macOS sierra
, can we make this post as issues that developers facing with the new update and by developer i mean not only mac developers but many developers work on mac so if there is something failing from them please comment
i think this will be useful for all of us4
This semester in college we're supposed to learn some machine learning using mostly Matlab. The first laboratories (technically the second, but the first we actually do something) we're learning basics of Matlab.
We were given an instruction PDF that talks about assigning variables, creating functions and classes, and some basic operators.
A the end of the instruction are exercises, but the thing is, they require knowledge of a lot of Matlab functions, like linspace, reshape, random numbers, vectors and matrices, but it does not tell anywhere about then or how to use them.
An example: exercise 4 tells us to read docs about 'ezplot' and plot sin^2(x).
Then, exercise 5 tells us to generate a 100 element linear space for -2pi to 2pi, calculate the sigmoid value of each point and plot it.
The professor looked personally offended that we had no idea what a sigmoid is and that we were all struggling to calculate it. He almost shouted at us for trying to use ezplot (which we assumed is what we're supposed to use based on exercise 4) instead of regular plot do visualize it.
I fucking hate this kind of professors.
Also, the real fuckfest is in the last exercise. I'll try to translate it to English as close as I can:
Create a 100 element vector of random positive integers and then save it as a matrix with the amount of rows equal to the amount of unique values in the vector and 100 columns and then for each element of the original vector encode it's value in the form of 1 in the field whose index equals the value of that element increased by one.
Yes it's all in one sentence, and no, nowhere in the instruction does it say how to do any of that.
Also, we have a test about all of that tommorow and I don't think anyone will pass it2
Service Controllers book us into the power stations and mines.
Was going to check a new client's current system and develop them a new one.
Service controllers booked the PM but not me.
Oh well, now there's a dev sitting outside a power station like an arsehole coding on his android because he has literally an hour or two to waste.
They do it out of spite, not out of mishap.
Company website created by a third party developers ( paid ) and after a year the new company team does not like the design and asks the inhouse developer hired to create internal apps ( develop office workflow related apps) to change the design of the website and not be paid for it (add new work to the list of works and not be paid extra).
And that they don't want to pay someone to do it again and when the dev ask them what they want in the website , it seems like they are focused on updating content ( which they have access with the wordpress admin panel they have been given ) and a bit of design changes which a dev would do within a few hours and they will have to pay v little for it.
Why does ppl think that devs have all the time in the world to do free stuff !!! and most of the times we are doing more that everyone else in the workplace combined and when we don't do something its like you are not corporating with us, u don't work much and u have too much free time.
One manager at the Client company tells us that unless we submit weekly timesheets we wont get paid.
We are not their employees, nor do we have an agreement with them for full time work.
" Whole thought process is to structure the engagement better ,so that we can implement better governance and provide better visibility."
Anyone understand what is being said above? Jargon.2
tldr: i take pride of our code! It hurts when someone calls it wrong when i know it was right.
So there was this integrations team that are trying to connect to our api. This team has been throwing different people to work with us. We even taught them how to use postman/soapui with ssl, even to the point that we search stackoverflow to resolve their code-level issues and left us halfway, then came back again repeating all process. A year passed, they came back with the same issue... now all answer that they get from us was to “review past conversation”, Today, they insist that we repeat ssl onboarding process as they are having issues with their current one, we insisted not to do it, and told them we (including them) can proceed without changing the client ssl. And told them we had a snippet sent to resolve their issues, but instead told us in a rude way, our sample is wrong. I was challenged to prove that we can make it work by eod. With their wrong sense of pride as theyve been working for that issue for long, they started throwing tantrums on us, saying that we do not need to make them feel that they do not know what their doing. man! Cmon, its you who requested that snippet few years back, then you tell us you dont need it as it is not working, in the first place, it is not our job to code for you asses,...i left the channel after. it was escalated quickly to management and accounts team(those people who only cares for traffic/money).. asked to return to the channel, spoonfed the details to them, provided a working snippet and left again.not sure what happened next.,. I hope this started a fire on our management to handle such incompetence.